The Daily Zeitgeist - Kash = Minority Report, Hard R Billionaire?! 05.07.26

Episode Date: May 7, 2026

In episode 2054, Jack and Miles are joined by TV writer, comedian, essayist, host of Private Parts Unknown, and author of Girl Gone Wild, Courtney Kocak, to discuss… Kash Patel - I USE AI TO STOP MASS SHOOTINGS!!!, Totally unrelated- FBI may be going after the journalist that reported on Patel's drinking, Oligarch sweat check…, The Bear Stealing Ideas From The Bean and more! Kash Patel credits AI with stopping attacks: ‘I’m using it everywhere’ A Dangerous New Attack on Press Freedom LISTEN: 9-2-5 by Boko YoutSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Did you ever get any like sea breeze in your eyes when you were, was there, was that just a Chicago thing? So there's, people will blow like minty clouds of like, like, I don't know, like in your eyes to make you feel something like you were tripping. Oh, wow. I mean, we used to put Vicks all over our faces. Yeah, yeah. So we were doing that shit already.

Like, I would put Vicks under my eyes like it was eye black. Yeah. So at Warehouse Raves, there would be like a couple who did this coordinated choreography with LED lights on the tips of their gloves. And the guy would be doing his thing with the L. D light show and then his girl would come up in the middle and as the gloves parted she would go oh that's cool yeah it was crazy yeah in the early 2000s we were just rubbing vicks all over our faces at like warehouse raves this is a more like performance based version of that yeah i remember

the first time i did i got that shit in my eyes because i went way too close and i was like fucked up and now i leave the vicks alone when i go to raves hi cordney Hey. What's up, Courtney? How did you get down at Raves? Did you put Vix all of your face? I did Vicks also. I also, whenever we would do ecstasy, I would try to, I would get out the forks and try to, like, that was an interesting sensation.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wait, what do you mean get out the for our first responders? Oh, oh, oh. Also, I was just like, you're like, yeah, you're doing ecstasy at home in your kitchen. Well, get out the force. a lot of people. It was fun. Oh, yeah. Nice, nice. Nice. Yeah, you got to get out the forks. I don't know why this. That's such a good phrase. You know, we were getting out the forks last night. Hey, we did not blast people in the eyes. So I feel like, yeah, yeah. We were, we were self,

blasting with Vicks, mentholated rub. Self blasting. Yeah. You got to blast yourself in the face sometimes. You got a sea breeze a little bit. Just a see. I just love that as a phrase. Like, yeah, dude, I come through with the fucking finger light glove show. Then my girl, once I part, she hits them with the sea breeze. With the sea breeze, yeah, yeah. It just works, man. That's how I knew I found my opposite and equal, you know. To be fair, I've been to hundreds of raves in my day, and that was the only time that's happened to me.

So that might have been their own. It's cool, though. I don't know. I really, that appealed to me. I knew exactly where you were. And then I just realized, oh, I was giving myself that same sensation because we just put Vicks all over our face. Yeah. Great cold open.

Jack, what about you? Did you get the forks out? Used to get the forks out or what? I didn't do anything fun with exercise. Other than I'm like, feel good. Hugged itself and going. Oh, a lot of deep breaths.

It feels so good to breathe, dude. To try, just go. All right, now let's hug and do it. All right, let's breathe together. I'm in a room by me. myself. You've just wrapped a bathrobe really tight around yourself. Just tying it off.

Feels like a hug. This is an I-Heart podcast. Guaranteed Human. Another podcast from some SNL late-night comedy guy, not quite. Unhumor me with Robert Smygel and friends. Me and hilarious guests from Bob Odenkirk to David Letterman help make you funnier. This week, my guest, SNL's Mikey Day and head writer, Streeter Seidel, help an a cappella band with their between songs banter.

Where does your group perform? We do some retirement homes. Those people are starving for banter. Listen to humor me with Robert Smigel and friends on the I-Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, I'm Dr. Maya Shunker, a cognitive scientist and hosts of the podcast, a slight change of plans, a show about who we are and who we become when life makes other plans. I wish that I hadn't resisted for so long the need to change.

We have to be willing to live with a kind of uncertainty that none of us likes. You can have opinions. You can have like a strong stance. And then there's your body having its own program. Listen to a slight change of plans on the I-Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. The story I've told myself can then shape my behavior, and that can lead me to sabotage the possibility of. connection. This Mental Health Awareness Month, tune into the podcast deeply well with Devy Brown if you've been searching for a soft place to land while doing the work to become whole. This

podcast is for you to hear more. Listen to deeply well with Debbie Brown from the Black Effect Podcast Network on the Iheart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. I'm Joey Dardano, and on my new podcast, hope from a hypocrite, I'll be changing lives, helping people in need with thoughtful solutions. Sike, I'm a comedian. I'm not qualified to give good advice. Join me and my comedian friends as we riff, rant, recommend some of the most legally dubious advice known to me.

This is Help from a Hypocrite, the worst advice from the dumbest people you know. Listen to Help from a Hypocrite Wednesdays on the Iheart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hello, the internet, and welcome to season 437 episode 4. of Doher Daily Zikeyes!

It's a production of IHeartRadio. It's a podcast where we take a deep dive into America's share consciousness through the day's news. We also have a new non-news history version of the Daily Zykeyes drop in each Monday morning where we do a deep dive into the Zikeis through the lens of a different icon.

Last week we did Mr. Bean. Mr. Bean, if you're next to me. Mr. Bean, if you're next to be. Julian Bean. I think they were thinking of a name and him, Julian. He had a first name? They were thinking about it, Miles, in the globe-standing massive blockbuster hit Bean. I'm not listening to that episode out of spite because I should have fucking been back from Japan.

It's really one of my face. I fucked myself over. But yeah, Bean, the movie that, of course, came in second behind Titanic and in front of Men in Black at the global box office the year that it came out. Did not do that great in America, but globally was, it's like, it's Titanic. Mr. Bean is Titanic in other countries. Anyways, we got Anna Wintour. Someone called Anna Wintor coming up. People know who that is, right?

Brian, the editor was like, I don't know. Who? What? Brian famously would not know that. He has, like, very specialized knowledge in, like, certain places and then terrible blind spots at others. Like most of us. Speaking of a terrible blind spot, we find out why she'd really wearing those sunglasses. Yep, yeah.

She looked right into an eclipse in 1993. I had a bad moment of parenting last night where my son was like, what, like, what happens if I look at the sun directly? And I was like, you can't. You don't, don't do that. You're like, you're going to go blind if you do that. He's like, but I do it sometimes. And I was like, don't. You're going to go blind like when you're my age.

And then he just like started crying. And he was like, well, no, wait, wait, wait, wait. It's not too late. Like, you're okay. And he's like, well, what do I forget? Then just remember. Just try to remember then. You remember what you like what my face looks like?

You want to remember that? Remember that? No. This is a son that roasts me, so he would have said he doesn't like the way that my face looks. It is Thursday, May 7th, 2026. May the 7th be with you because it's Mr. Beast's birthday today. Oh, hell. Yeah, dude.

This guy is making everything so fucking sick, dude. It's also National Tourism Day, Bladder Cancer Awareness Day, National Cauldness Day, National Cosmopolitan Day. Shout out Kerry Bradshaw. And what is it? National Roast Leg of Lamb Day. And National Children's Mental Health Awareness Day. Boom. Good. Boom. There it is. My name is Jack O'Brien.

AKA Mr. Bean's a G. Always doing box office baffo. He's always stealing beautiful women. Is she looking at you? I don't think so. She's looking at Bean. That one, courtesy of Christy Yamaguchi.

Maine, Chrissy Amaguchi, Maine, who corrected it. We had just, it was not in the dock, but as we were doing the episode, one of our guests Googled and was like, oh, Mr. Bean lost his girlfriend to James Acaster. And by the way, yes, to our guest,

this is a Mr. Bean podcast now. This is all we talk about. And Chris Amaguchi Man was like, I will have you know, Mr. Bean stole James Acaster's girlfriend. Oh. Oh, shit. And, like, yes. his sexual magnetism is

beyond reproach apparently. It's unbelievable. Have you seen Blackadder? Oh, yeah. I've seen it. I mean, I saw it when it was on Comedy Central every day when I was a kid. Anyways, I'm thrilled to be joined,

as always, by my co-host, Mr. Miles Greggie. Miles visits Mother's Homeland. Can't smoke weed because it's in Japan. Dreaming mindworks, no obstructions. Front row seat to the destruction. Says weed, yeah, dan-a. Back at Boodoo. Bam, bam.

Okay, shout out to Sean on the Discord. Warpigs. Love that one. First heard that song playing Guitar Hero for the record. Yeah, that's right. I got it. I'll drop one more dream memory I have on you. This was another dream I had because this is what happens

when you don't have the THC. going through your brain. This is what I wrote on my note. I woke up on a blowup mattress in the driveway of my across-the-street neighbor, totally disoriented and was embarrassing because they were trying to leave for work in the morning. I told them I'm going through a lot. I just lost my house in a fire. And then I woke up. So, yeah. I was obstructing the neighbor's garage door because I was asleep on a blow-up mattress. And I was just, I remember I was awoken by the garage door open. I was like, oh my God. I'm so, like, I was like, you got to get to work. I normally sleep here. It was a very odd interaction. So that part's all normal. That part's all true to life. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You do you normally sleep by that because you got to get up for work.

So you got to be there for the opening of the garage door. It's fascinating stuff. Yeah. Wow. I got more. I got more. Yeah. Hop in there and swim around in that brain.

Thanks, man. Thanks. So with the feds. Miles, we are thrilled to be joined in our third seat by very talented TV writer your podcast, her comedian, essayist, her essays and writing have been published in the Washington Post, the LA Times bustle, hello giggles. She's written for TV shows like Netflix's No It All, Amazon's Emmy winning animated series, Danger and Eggs.

Please welcome back to the show, the hilarious and talented Courtney Kosan. Courtney! I forgot to write a song. Oh, go on, go on. Also, can I just say, I think Mr. Bean's first name's probably a gentleman. gesture, right? Oh. Like not even a, yeah.

Flicking the, flicking a bean? Flickin? No, no, that it's not even verbal. It's not even verbal. It's not even verbal. I thought you were like, it's a verb. Flicking the bean?

Brits is a symbol. Mr. Bean is a gesture. Yeah, Mr. Bean is just, he's a monk. Yeah. Or it's like, you know, because you're, yeah. Like his light Yoda grunting.

Yes. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Good bonuses. Are you, what are your thoughts of Mr. Bean? Were you a fan growing up? I appreciate Mr. Bean. Yeah.

I mean, crazy that he stole such a younger man's girlfriend. I know. I know. 20 years younger. Fucking Mr. Steelier girl. 26. Yeah, exactly. I was not getting the sexual magnetism off of him, but I, you know, I appreciate his movement work. Yeah, that was what we found.

in the episode that like there there was this Toronto appearance by Mr. Bean like at the height of Mr. Bean's popularity in North America where it was like a near crisis it was like a near stampede like he had to jump up and be like everybody he like did it in Mr.

Bean character and like told everybody to like calm down and they still wouldn't and so he had to leave in like 20 minutes yeah because they couldn't they didn't get what he was saying but at that it was like a Toronto newspaper story from that time that's like interviewing women and they're like, God, I just,

I want to have his babies. Wow. Women are so weird. Two-toes, crotie. Two-toes, crotie. I want to have Mr. Bean's kid, yeah, you know. Uh-huh. Well, that's exactly what they're not like the other Toronto mandam. Yeah.

That's the exact quote in front of me. All right, Courtney, we're thrilled to have you here. We're going to get to know you a little bit better in a moment. First, we're going to tell the listeners a couple of the things we're talking about. Cash Patel apparently has minority report powers. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He can stop crime before they happen. Or lying.

Or he's lying. It's one of the two, yeah. That's, I had not considered that. Yeah. So we'll talk about that in his suing people for saying he drinks too much. Yeah. Which is always a good sign. Yep.

Yep. In the recovery community, we call that a good sign. It seems like you're doing a good job keeping in touch with reality. We're going to check in with oligarchs who seems like it's not just that one French billionaire. They're sweating. Quick sweat check. They're starting to get sweaty. They're starting to get a little nervous.

Make these fuckers so nervous. I want to see, I want to be able to have this like a weekly segment where there's some fucking oligarch panicked about how people are being mean to them or realizing they are the cause of all of our suffering. Yeah. Calling me a billionaire is basically racial slur. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

That's the new end work. Yeah. We're going to talk about the bear, but only in the context of Mr. Bean. Truly, I'm going to bring it back around to Mr. Bean. The bear just dropped a new episode that was just like a surprise drop of a single one-off episode. Oh, I was going to say, is it an, oh, okay, all right. I like this idea. I feel like this is something everybody should be doing all the time.

And then it made me think back about Mr. Bean's release schedule, as one will do. So we'll talk about that. All of that plenty more. But first, Courtney, we do like to ask our guests, what is your favorite Mr. Bean episode? What is something from your search history that is revealing about who you are? What is your favorite letterbox review of mystery? I'm so boring right now in my search history. I mostly related to Mia Ballard's shy girl.

Did you hear about this controversy? She was like the first major book pulled by like a Big Five publisher for AI accusations. Oh, man. And it's fascinating. Listen, I don't know. Did she use AI or not? Or is it bad writing? Yeah, yeah.

It's not illegal to be bad at writing. But the witch hunt was crazy. There was no due process. She didn't have a chance to defend herself. These AI detection tools. are like notoriously bad. And then the guys... Because they're AI.

Yes. And then the guys that brought the case were like conflicted. Like they owned the AI detection tool. It's just insane. Whether or not she did it was, yeah. So I know we're going to talk more about AI in this episode, but I'm fully down the rabbit hole. Wow.

So do you, I mean, what's her other writing like does, does it look? Where people were people like, it's a departure? This is fucking weird, totally. and stylistically. It keeps complimenting me. Her new novel keeps complimenting me. Instead of it, I've made a good point. There were maybe some gaps in logic.

I didn't read the actual book, but some of the stuff that they're pointing to is just bad writing. And she was self-published. And I also just think you acquire a self-published book and then you expect it to not have any weird shit going on. Right, right, right. That's kind of on you, right?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, that's just, yeah, yeah, yeah. Just like do the AI tool and then be like, hey, could you rewrite this part? Like, can you do that better? I'm not defending. I don't think AI should be in our books. I'm just saying, could we pick on? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Just the witch hunt was crazy. Yeah, it's like someone would like, this SoundCloud rapper is rapping on an AI beat. And you're like, totally. Yeah. Okay. Sure. Nobody edited her. Edited her.

Like, what are we expect? The song has four listens right now. But okay, yeah, maybe talk about Timbaland in his use of AI. It has really like fucked things up though because like I've encountered like one of my kids' homework questions like didn't really make sense. And I was like, is this just is this AI or did somebody write this homework question while high? Like I don't know. But like it or am I very stupid. And I just couldn't answer the question.

Wait, what was it? I don't know. It's some shit like six divided by two is what? I'm like, the fuck is this shit, dude. It was just like it referred back to, it referred back to, it was like a reading comprehension thing, but then the question wasn't addressed. Like the question didn't address the paragraph at all. Interesting. Yeah.

In a way that it's like, well, that's going to fuck up a kid's like confidence in their ability to learn if you're doing that, you know? Right. What is Courtney something you think is underrated? I think underrated is going to a movie in a theater. I'm with you.

Were you shamed by Timothy Shalamee when he was saying like, I don't want people to think this is some shit that doesn't matter. I was like, I hear you, Tim, I'm going. I'm going. Yeah. Well, I kind of didn't go during the pandemic and like just not going. I just

I just got out of the routine. Oh, you got fooled by the pandemic. Okay. Oh, boy. But now I'm going back and I, two hours without my phone and like eating food at Alamo draft house in a theater and like consuming it with other people. I don't even care what the plot is. Like my husband thinks he's like Siskel and Ebert, but I'm like, crime 101.

Like, I don't care. This is great. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Now, why are you off your phone? Because that really, I like to have a second screen experience. Jack always sends me clips of the movies. Then he goes, dude, you're going to love this part. I like to FaceTime, Miles.

You're going to love this part. Watch this part. Hey, can we run that back? Can we rewind that one? Well, Alamo Draft House did do this fucked up thing where now you have to order on your phone. So it's like, oh, you're forcing me to be on my phone while I'm trying to be off. My phone. I was like whispering in the dark to a human being.

Yeah, just another cherry Coke, please. And more cheese sauce. There's not enough for my fries. I need three cups and I'm not for my popcorn. Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. I like to do little sips between bites. Yeah, yeah. I haven't been to Alamo in a minute, but I mean, it's, I think really when the Barbinheimer

summer, that's when I was fully like, I've been, I have to keep coming back to the movie. because I realize how much I love just drinking cherry coke in a movie theater more than anything is just like my happy place. Also, you just get so sad about all the Hollywood shit that's going on and you're like, I need to single-handedly save the industry by going once a month. This is how we win, you guys. This is our French Revolution is we go to the movie theaters and make it so that they feel stupid when they close down movies. Got them.

It's, yeah, it's the best. What did you see most recently? I saw Project Hail Mary. Charming. Yeah. It was cute. Did you guys see it? I haven't seen it.

But everyone said it's a great, like, when even conservatives were like, this was a pretty good movie. I'm like, oh, shit. Okay. Wow. It's like a buddy comedy with an alien. What more can you ask? Yeah.

I just saw Interstellar. Oh, that's a good one. Yeah. I'm going to keep saying that for the next year. Miles was on an interstellar kid. and I'm on a Mr. Bean kick. Which it reflects our levels of Timeliness.

Timeliness. Timeliness. Timeliness. Yes. What is something you think is overrated? Courtney? Caring what people think about you. Okay.

So like try to be a good person, yes. But I always think of the Harris Whittle tweet, Harris Whittles tweet, that it's like, you ever think somebody hates you? And then they like an Instagram of yours. And then you realize none of us will be here in 100 years. I think of that like every day. I truly do. Like life's too short to worry about whether someone random likes you or not. Oh, of course. And I think more than anything, you have to

worry about if the people who know you intimately don't like you. Yes. Yes. Because they know you. People who don't. I've already got them. I've already got them. I've got to move on. Got to move. I already written those fuckers off. Yeah. See you later, mom. That's who I get to treat like shit because they have to put up with me. Yeah, but I feel like it's anything. Like, you can never take someone's opinion who has no understanding of who you are as being valid in any way. And like when you're, and the internet has so many people thinking like when people say shit or comment on stuff, it's like, they know the totality of my existence and this is a true thing. Like, leave that.

Totally. I also in terms of my book had to really like let go. I did a desensitization exercise where I looked up my favorite books and read bad reviews about them. And I'm like, people are dumb. People are so dumb, it doesn't matter. Let me isolate the really bad ones. Let me find the worst things that people say. Let me scam.

No, they liked it. They liked it. They liked it. Okay, this person fucking hates me. Let me read that one and take that one right to the soul. Right, right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's how, yeah, that's, I just don't even start looking at comments because when I do,

I can't not look at the bad ones. I love comments. I think because I've just, I've come to a place where they just don't, like, I really just look at it. I'm like, oh, that's interesting. That's what this person felt from looking at a thing or reading a thing. Right. But, yeah, you know, that really what happened was this all came out of me getting my heartbroken in college.

And a therapist really helped me understand of like, they're like, why are you worried about, like, the opinions of people that aren't really important to me? Like in that sense. And I was like, well, because I need to know why they don't like me. He's like, they're not in your life at all. So what are you going to get from understanding that person? I'm like, nothing. Everybody should have that therapist young, too. That's nice in college.

Oh, no, no, no. I was holding on to that mentality for many years. And then a college therapist was like, oh, let's unpack this, man. That was 14 years ago. Well, they haven't been fooled by me yet. So they're the only ones who have an honest opinion of me. And they're probably going to fucking cheat. on me with the saxophone player in the touring band.

Also, anyway. What? Nothing. Nothing. That's an adult fear. That commenter? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, the commenter's going to know and they're going to cheat on me with the saxophone player from the touring band.

Okay. Yeah. Well, all right. Well, great overrated, underrated. We're going to take a quick break. And then we're going to come back and talk about how crime has been solved by the FBI. We'll be right back. Another podcast from some SNL late-night comedy guide,

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Yeah. Me. Is there anything to the idea that because you're from Harvard, you only got in because your parents made a huge donation. The yard birds, right? That's the name. The Harvard Yardt Yard's, but they're open. Do you have a name suggestion?

We're open. Since you guys are middle-aged, one erection. Listen to humor me with Robert Smigel and Friends on the I-Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. Humor me. I need some jokes. make me seem funny. The story I've told myself about love or relationships can then shape my behavior, and that can lead me to sabotage the possibility of connection.

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And we're back. We are back, dude. Cash Patel. You know, it's like all those times when we look back and we see one set of footsteps. It's not because Cash Patel was getting drunk somewhere. It's because he was carrying us with AI. Yeah, with AI arms wide open. Exactly.

With AI arms wide open. I think it's always a good sign when someone's job performance comes to light and their response is to just make shit up about how good they actually are at the job. Because, you know, Patela's had a dark cloud of ineptitude hanging over him for his entire life. It looks like when he like keeps every time there's a high profile crime and he rushes in, takes a brief pause to make sure that he gets the right look on. and then announces that they have somebody that they don't really have, which is something I've never seen people to do before in the history of police. Like,

Director Patel, you got to get out there. He's like, I need a jacket that fits. He's like, sir, this is a youth medium that you asked for. Oh, it's too biggie. So anyway, like, obviously there was the reports of his drinking that came out in the Atlantic that I'm sure you guys covered where like at times they were. canceling cabinet meetings because he was too inebriated to be coherent in a meeting or the time he went missing in his own office and they had to get like a SWAT team to try and get the door

down because he was unresponsive in there. He was taking a nap because he had been too awesome at grinding. I'm grinding in here. My teeth because I'm on cheap cocaine. And I think the S&L jokes recently too with Aziz Ansari just completely cooking him. Probably. has put him on the defense. What did Aziz Ansari? He was just like, he just opened his eyes real big in a suit.

Everyone's like, that's him. That's him. That's the cash Patel I know. And he was like, he's like, and he's like, I've made history,

okay? I'm making history as FBI director. And I'm also making history as being the first Indian guy who's bad at his job. Was like one of the punchlines in that whole sort of cold open. But yeah,

I think, look, we've heard all the reports about how bad he is, but have we ever thought to consider all the stories we haven't heard yet that are entirely true, definitely true, that he brings up on Sean Hannity's show hanging out with Sean Hannity? Hanging out with Sean Hannity. Can you imagine a better sales pitch than that? You know that they're just like, what do we call it?

It's just you hanging out, Sean. It's not hanging out with Sean Hannity. How about that? I like that. I like that. So this is what he said on there. Quote, AI was never used at the FBI till we got there, literally. crazy. I'm using it everywhere. Patel, quote, then pointed to specific cases where AI tools

helped agents quickly process large volumes of information. Quote, we stopped a school massacre in North Carolina because we got a tip and we were able to triage it with artificial intelligence. He also goes on to add a separate school shooting that was stored in New York. He said, quote, we stopped a school shooting in New York because we got a tip from our private sector partners who are building out AI infrastructure. Oh, very vague. But, oh, interesting. And I think, like, to your point, Jack,

considering that the fact that this little asshole loves to march out in his FBI jacket and proclaim crimes being solved when they haven't, I am so shocked to hear that he didn't come out here being like, I just stopped a crime with AI, everyone. I'm so good. But, hey, look, I get it. When you don't have real intelligence,

you have to use the artificial kind. That's right. Yeah, yeah. It's also funny. Like, not only is it suspicious that he wouldn't jump out and tell us all about this the second that it happened. But it also seems in keeping with his will, like, so far we've seen him, you know, come out and be like, we found the person who shot Charlie Kirk. And then it's like, sorry, that was just an old guy who happened to be there. Yeah, yeah.

And like similar stuff keeps happening. Now he's going before the crime. to solve it. And, you know, I can only imagine how good his intel is and how guilty those people are that he thinks he's catching before they commit a crime. Do you think these are half-truths or just total bullshit out of whole cloth bullshit? I'm sure they're, like, things that would have been addressed by a guidance counselor, but, like, now they have AI and the FBI involved.

Yeah, like, when he's like, this person's... We stopped it in New York because we got a... tip from our private sector partners who are building, like, that's so vague that I don't know. It's a palantir. Yeah. And what did they tell you? Also, I didn't know Alex Carp was black. Did you know that?

What? Yes, that coked out maniac? Yeah. Like, he's biracial. Jesus. It was, everyone was like, what the fuck? I remember on black Twitter. Everyone was like, no, no.

You can have them. Stay out of here, Alex Carp. Trade him away for second round draft picks. Yeah. Yeah. But yeah, it's just like. It feels like one of those things where maybe someone did give them a tip. They're like, oh, this kid was Googling weird stuff because we have this software on the school computers.

And we're like, hey, we're watching you. And he's like, oh, I didn't mean it. And then they're like, ford it in jail, you know? Yeah, yeah. Who the fuck knows? He's also, they're using it for all kinds of social media memes. Maybe he's just, you know, like that part, overweighing that part. Or I'd also believe that the AI hallucinated and they just arrested some.

kid before he didn't even do anything, right? You know, they're like, oh, yeah, we thwarted that one. They're like, the kid didn't even, there's not even a gun in his home. What are we talking about? Who knows? Who knows? Yeah, I mean, that is a very bright line that he's trying to cross there,

where it's solving crime before it happens. That, like, that is the point of minority reports. Like, the very base level point of minority reports. Call it pretty crime. We can't do that because it doesn't really work. I guess in Minority Report, it does work once they start doing the pre-crime, like crime rates drop a ton. And you can get pregnant from pre-crime. Okay, Bob.

Sorry. That's all I got right now. It was very good. No, it wasn't. I'm going to sit down. Yeah, yeah. So, like, him being desperate and stupid enough to just cross that bridge and just be like, yeah, we're actually solving crimes before they happen. Like, this could go down a very.

slippery dark where they're just like resting people based on you know things being hallucinated by AI and there's

like this weird vortex of like a feedback loop where it's like well AI needs to justify its existence they need to seem like they're good

at their job and what better way to you know get your crime solving numbers up than by solving them before they happened and then you can't really worry about

anything about You can't prove that they did it, but you can't disprove I didn't do it. Right. That I didn't solve this crime. It's also ironic that like the party that's worried about the thought police are the people that are arresting people based on their thoughts or something they wrote to an AI or whatever. Exactly. Stopped a massacre, dude. Yeah.

Oh, really? A bunch of other bad shit happened that you didn't stop, though. That felt preventable, though. Yeah, the AI was unplugged or some shit thing, so it didn't catch that. But okay, yeah. I think there's also something really frightening about an inept FBI director in Cash Patel overcompensating because everyone's like, this guy sucks at his job, you know, and like how he was going to just ramp up the like whatever crime fighting abilities he thinks he has.

But he said he's also using it for counterterrorism too now. So, cool. That's terrifying. He always seems whenever he's on the scene at a crime or like talking about a crime, he always has the energy of that Mark Zuckerberg meme where he's like in the MMA octagon, just like trying to act like he's a corner guy, but like not having anything to do. It just feels like he's like out there being like, yeah. That's what they're saying.

In that Atlantic piece, they were saying that basically that he's like, he's just there to larp all the time. And like other FBI and just like, this guy's just fucking like, if we're shooting guns or something, he wants to be around it. and like take pictures and like he was trying to change the merch of the FBI to look more menacing. He's like this shit doesn't look like enough like what white supremacists to wear to freak people out in the streets. His eyes didn't used to look like that, but then he got around them shooting and it freaked him out so much. His eyes have been wide open ever since. Oh, fuck.

Those are loud. Even with the silencers on. All right. Speaking of Cash Patel, we all better lawyer up if we're going to keep. keep talking like this. He's better lawyer up because the FBI is trying to sue that journalist for the crime of saying what they told, what the FBI told them off the record, which he's drunk all the time. Yeah, right. So right now, there's Patel himself has filed a lawsuit against the journalist Sarah Fitzpatrick at the Atlantic after the story alleging defamation and

demanding 250 million. Seems reasonable. Seems like a reasonable sum. Totally reasonable. The Atlantic is like, yeah, all right, we'll see you in fucking court. Most people are like, this is, this case is weak south. However, though, this was being reported by MS now was that the FBI has opened a criminal investigation focusing on her story and, you know, the, like, how this story came to light.

It's being, like, actually investigated by the internal threats division. which is like a team that looks into stuff like where if agents or contract or people that contract with the FBI are like spilling classified information and therefore creating a national security threat. But there's no fucking crime even being alleged here. Right. Patel is like, nah, that's defamation. Not like you were actually published classified information and this is a national security threat. Therefore, it rises to this level of severity that an investigation has to be opened. And so this is a really big escalation because this is the first time that we know of that this administration has been like, okay, now we're going to begin investigating a journalist, which again, I think we all see the problem with that, you know, with freedom of the press and the First Amendment and, you know, those things we called, called rights.

I mean, they're picking a good one to go with because it is the media being fucking lame and haters and not trying to get this guy in trouble. for just liking to have a good time, you know? Mm-hmm. Isn't Discovery going to be mortifying for him, though? Right. Like, did he not think that part through? They really don't. They don't.

Like, Elon Musk is suing Open AI right now, and, like, the convert, like, the cross-examination was just, like, completely humiliating. But he doesn't seem to give a fuck at all. Yeah, it's his kink, you know? That, and also, and also, he just has no idea how his own words can be used against him in a court of law too. And he's like, right. Okay, so that email I said that completely proves your point is like, what then?

Yeah. And also it's like they're all kings in their own little, like they all have their own little courts around them of people of yes men who are just, you know, the way that this entire, the current version of American capitalism works is like an oligarchy. And so they're all just surrounded by people who are like, yes, sir, that's a great idea, sir. And like, you know,

don't, they have, no real concept of reality. So I think they're also probably surprised every time one of these terrible moves backfires because they're surrounding themselves with people who just tell them whatever they want to hear so that they can remain in proximity to power. It's like in the films and there's like a bully like at a cartoon and there's always like their little cheerleader, ratty friend who's like, yeah, tell them, Mel. You know, like you're just surrounded by those idiots and then reality sets in or

Or doesn't, because who knows, I'm sure he can just donate some more to a wonderful ballroom and maybe all of his troubles go away. Who knows the character I always identified with most? The guy who yells, put him in a body bag, Johnny. Yeah, yeah. From the background of karate kids. That's who I thought the hero of the movie was. Who's bravely hiding behind a lollie. He's right hand, man, who just stands next to Johnny, like, bouncing.

I mean, it actually makes sense. It feels like so many Republicans are that sort of special flavor of. coward where like they have a trump or they can be like yeah get them boss and then like someone pulls up to pulls up on them in real space and like yeah they're the nerdy tea t-birds from great right right exactly that's right all right let's take a quick break we'll come back and we'll talk about some of those oligarchs we'll be right back another podcast from some s nl late night comedy guide not quite unhumor me with robert smigel and friends me and hilarious guests from Jim Gaffigan, to Bob Odenkirk, to David Letterman, help make you funnier.

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The group. The yard birds, right? That's the name. The Harvard Yard. They're open. Do you have a name suggestion? We're open. Since you guys are middle-aged, one erection.

Listen to humor me with Robert Smigel and Friends on the I-Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. Humor me. I need some jokes to make me seem funny. The story I've told myself about love or relationships can then shake my behavior. And that can lead me to sabotage the possibility of connection. This Mental Health Awareness Month, tune into the podcast deeply well with Debbie Brown and explore the journey of healing, self-discovery, and returning to yourself. We explore higher consciousness, emotional well-being, and the practices that help you find

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Oh my god, bro. He's literally laughing at Jay Leno being like, oh yeah, you got cars? Oh, look at this shit. What the fuck? He has like all these like very rare, whatever, dude. I don't care about cars, but that seems like too much money to have invested in cars. I want the sketch of the crashed car of the car crash. Yeah.

Yeah. We do know that he, his driving can be somewhat. questionable from Mr. Bean. Justin, yeah, Justin came on and told us that he once crashed a car and got England's, the largest insurance payout in the history of car crashes with 12, 12 million pound.

Oh, good for him. Or no, he crashed it got the biggest insurance payout and then sold to the car. Sold the car for 12 million dollars. Sold a crashed car. That's how, okay. Hell yeah,

Mr. Bean. Yeah. We will allow it with Mr. Bean. With these other oligarchs, though, they can get fucked. He's not a full billionaire, so we'll allow it. That's the thing. Like, Mr. Bean wealth would, like, if these people woke up with the amount of money Mr.

Bean has, they would, like, start a war. Oh, yeah. Or they would just go, they'd fucking chew up all the cyanide within reach. Like, I can't. Not like this. I will never not be rich. Yeah. Yeah.

So another day, another panicked quote from a billionaire about, emerging class consciousness. Uh-oh. So, you know, they love crying victim from their penthouses and yachts. This time, it's real estate magnate, Steve Roth. He's, you know, Ken Griffin kind of became a target of Mayor Zoran. Great ball player, by the way. Ken Griffin, Jr., huh?

Because, you know, the Mumdani had this, like, social media post where he was talking about a pita tear tax. So he was saying, like, look at Ken Griffin. And he has a $238 million second home. Like, no, this is, like, we need to be taxing shit. That's over $5 million. So this is where Steve Roth comes in. He was like, that move by Mamdani was irresponsible and dangerous.

He goes on to say, quote, I must say that I consider the phrase tax the rich, quote, tax the rich, when spit out with anger and contempt by politicians both here and across the country to be just as hateful as some disgusting racial slurs. and even the phrase from the river to the sea. Oh, goes on. I bet you do. I bet you do. But you do find that. Yeah, exactly. Pretty scary.

You must. You must. Because we found a way to make you an outgroup. He goes on, quote, but the rich whom the politicians are targeting, starting with nothing, are the epitome of the American dream. They are our largest employers and largest philanthropist. And it is the 1% that makes the 50% of New York's.

income taxes, they are at the top of the great American economic pyramid for a reason. They should be praised and thanked. Amen. Amen is what they're going to be saying. Get fault. I mean, opening your quote with, I must say that I consider the phrase tax the rich, quote, tax the rich, when spit out with anger and contempt by politicians to be just as hateful as racial slurs. That is some, like he says, as some disgusting racial slurs. Yeah, yeah.

Not all of them. And don't ask me which ones. Because I might say them. I do like to say them sometimes. Some I just think people are way too sensitive about, personally. I feel like they are not dated. I must say. Like you are a, like, cartoonish villain.

Like just so of like a comedy, not even like an action movie. You're a villain and like a comedy. So you're trying to appeal to. people's sense of moral outrage by equating people saying, you need to pay your fair share to a racial slur. Yeah, that's made to denigrate and dehumanize. Well, the way you say fair share, ugh. I can just hear the judgment in your voice. I can just hear myself downsizing my yachts. No. I do feel like the pita tear tax is like particularly well constructed. You sure. Go on Donnie. They're always going to, they'll always find a way, though, to, to like,

piss and moan about it. It's funny too because later on in the quote, he was like, but Mamdani does have some good ideas. They can't deny his charisma. You know? Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're all like Trump with that. That was the wildest thing. Like Trump spent one hour

with him. It was like, I think I want to fuck this guy. He's so cool. I want to kiss him. Like, could you like kiss my wife while I just like sit in this chair over here? I don't know. Just, uh, just spitballing. Yeah. He was just a say, Steve Roth's thing was like, he's like, just needs to tweak a couple things and realize it's about expanding the tax base rather than coming after the people who got it like that.

Well, because they still think that they're going to get him. They still think that they're going to be able to, like, bring him in the way they've brought in every politician up to this point to be like, you need to be bailing us out. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 100%. But it's, we've been talking about like the language in the New York Times kids, a lot of wishful. Uh, wishful thinking where they're like the, there's been a surge in anti-rich sentiment lately. But we'll, we'll see if that's just a bit of a surge. It's been a blip.

Yeah. It's hard to explain. Yeah. They're lucky we haven't gotten out the pitchforks yet. No, no. Yeah. I know. I mean, that's what they, I mean, that's, I'm, I wonder if they, they all must be thinking like,

fuck, man. Like, every day. It used to just, I thought we handled the occupied, occupied people. and now it's getting more. You don't think, wait, what do you mean? I don't think they're scared. I think, like, this indicates to me that they're still existing in these rooms with other extremely rich people where they can say shit like this.

Sure. Like, he's obviously focused grouped this with other people and been like, when they say tax the rich, it's basically a racial slur. Right. And had everybody. else be like, Mm-hmm, Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, right.

And yeah, I just, I think that they are going to lull each other into a sense of complacency. They're not talking to anybody who's telling them the truth. And then they're just, like, shocked whenever there's, like when Mom Dani gets elected, you know? So right now you're saying they're in the process of, like, a miscalculation where they're like, this sentiment is such in its infancy that rhetorically what we're going to do is be like,

Oh, that's like a, that's yucky what you're saying. We don't like it. Rather than understanding it's like, oh, no, we're well past the point of people being like, don't talk like that because people's material existences are on the fucking line every day. That it was, and I get, it was easier to do that before the pandemic. It was a lot easier to pretend like this shit wasn't affecting everybody. But now you truly like backs are to the wall. Also, we're back, baby. You guys voted for this shit.

We can say the P word. we can say the B word. Like we're... Right. Yeah, my belief that like something drastic is going to have to happen politically in this country is not really even like based on America's like political will to do it. It's just based on the fact that it doesn't seem like these people will ever do, like change without something drastic happening.

Right. They're not going anywhere. They're going to tell themselves. and each other what they need to hear to keep going and keep accumulating wealth. Like, it's just too important to them. The philanthropy point, like, point that he's making is also false.

Like, the old-timey, rich guys, they did invest in civic, whatever. They would make an arts organization or a museum or whatever. We don't see that shit anymore. I will not sit here and have you besmirch the good name of John Pierpont Morgan. and you're like, what the fuck?

How long ago was that shit? What are you talking about? Oh, my God. Yeah. So, I don't know. We'll see. I do think we should just, like, give them a little stress test every day. It should, but I mean, like, even think about, like, with the voting rights act being gutted,

so much of the civil rights, but it came after real fuck. Like, shit was burning down. Yes. You know what I mean? And everyone's like, oh, Martin Luther King, like, no, motherfucker. People were burning shit down. And the government was like, f. Oh, fuck.

What do we got to do? Rights? Don't they got rights? And yeah, a similar thing is going to, I think it's inevitable. Like, you can't just keep telling people that shit's all right when they're rationing medication or other things or gas prices continue to go up and no one's addressing any of it and just trying to like, hey, man, just have a stiff upper lip, huh? Mm-hmm. Just grit your teeth through it. Yeah.

Okay. Yeah. And they, yeah, in the same way that, like, a lot of people don't have the kind of political imagination for what, like, that revolution is going to look like. I feel like they at the top don't have an imagination for, like, the possibility of people pushing. That it could happen. Right. Because it's been so it's been such a long time and they've kind of written that pushback out of history. So, like, they don't, I don't think they honestly think it's going to happen.

They think that they can scold us into just being like, well, I guess they do pay for a lot. And it is kind of baller that they have that much money and like their boats are worth that much. So, yeah, yeah. All right. Sorry, my alarm went off that said it's been 15 minutes since we talked about Mr. Bean. So I do have to move on to this next story.

So in our Mr. Bean episode, I was amazed that that show, which as mentioned, shockingly way more popular than I realized, had a total of 14 episodes. about 20 minutes each. And the way they dropped them was like when they felt like it, like a new episode would come out when they were ready. And then people all over the world would just be like, oh, shit.

A new mystery, just dropped. First episode dropped January 1st, 1990. Second episode, November 5th, 1990, the third, December 30th, 1990. And then the fourth was October, 1991. Like, they just would be like, yeah, we're off for 10 months. we don't have another one. So we're just going to...

I don't know. But you'll get them when we put them out and you'll like it. It's like an omacase sort of version. So the TV show, The Bear, just dropped us a prize one-off episode. And I don't know, like, they were just like, yeah, I don't know. This is an idea we had for a story. We're not doing a whole season of it. We're just like making a little movie that exists inside this TV universe.

And it just seems like it. opens up a whole, like, why not have that be a type of TV show you can do? Yeah. Like, where you just, like, have one-off episodes. Like, who wouldn't want a one-off episode of lost the, like, ties things together? Or, like, you know, this is something we talked about with Stranger Things that the fans had this fan theory that they were going to, the season finale or the series finale that they released was actually a fake series finale. and like they were going to drop a different one that was like opened up this whole pocket universe of TV shows.

Like I feel like this could be that for just like a whole pocket universe of a type of TV shows that people aren't making that they could be making that I feel like it would be a lot of fun. I'll tell you why, Jack. Let the adults come into a conversation real quick. Because I can't make a fuck ton of money off a one-off episodes. I need a whole season. I'm sure. It feels like that's really the thing that would get in the way. because it would be a ratings explosion

if you did be like, here's a sudden episode of this beloved show out of nowhere. Yeah. I mean, yeah, I agree though. I think it would be fucking dope

to see something like that. But Miles, you don't have to spend a fuck ton of money to make the one off episode. Right. Unless the budgets are so high, they're like, yeah, man,

we're going to go hard on this one. Well, if you think about their model, isn't their model or just like have appointment and things that people are like, well, I need to start out my Netflix subscription again because my favorite show

just dropped a new season. Right. The real last episode of Seinfeld. Right. Like, what the fuck? Yeah. But I love that the Mr. Bean people couldn't put together a 20-minute silly-ass episode

for 10 months. Yeah, yeah. You guys aren't trying. We've been working. It was written by Ron Ackinson and also like the guy who wrote Notting Hill and Four Weddings and a Funeral and like all the most popular British movies of all times. It's like a dream team of British comedy. Yeah, but why, I don't know.

Like it seems like it would be just as effective to get people on Netflix if it was like the real Stranger Things finale. And it's only one episode, but like why not give it give people a go or like a movie or something like that? I don't know. I don't think it's like necessarily great for like pushing art forward, but I'm not a huge believer in. like TV series as art, but, you know, but if you gave me like a one-off the wire bottle episode or something like that, that would be fucking fun. Like, just, you know, dig through the archives of like ideas that fans have pitched

or people have pitched. And I bet there's some great ideas that you can do. I got some great ideas on my Reddit account that people keep ignoring that I just wish fucking David E. Kelly wouldn't be a fucking coward. Check this shit out. Courtney, such a pleasure having you on the Daily Zeitgeist, as always. Sorry this was so Mr. Bean heavy. Oh, my God, what a pleasure.

60% Mr. Bean. Where can people find you, follow you, all that good stuff? Yeah, I'm on the internet at Courtney Kosack. My debut memoir, Girl Gone Wild, just came out. Nice. Congratulations. Thank you. It's an unwitting, feminine. coming of age about trying to make it in Hollywood.

There's a chapter about selling t-shirts on the Girls Gone Wild tour. Selling T-shirts on the Girls Gone Wild Tour? Like your own? Or selling girls on Wild? My job was a merch girl. But really my job was to make the other girls feel comfortable enough to be exploited. Oh, wow. Cool.

Basically, yeah. I mean, I'm not proud of it. I hope not. And now my favorite chapter called The Sickest Job I Ever Had. Joe Francis was an angel. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, wow. That's crazy.

Oh, man. What's the craziest scene from your memoir? The crazy, well, there is a delightful little chapter where I am like frantically driving to Hustler to buy my first vibrator. It's pretty fun. Wow. I was very horny, okay? You need a vargrator.

Like enter through by diving through the plate glass. Yeah. You just had the door. Open up. It's 7 a.m. We don't open for three more hours. Fuck. It's too accurate.

That's not even. Amazing. Is there a work of media? that you've been enjoying. Okay, so I want to tell you guys this. So this is a Zite Gang shout out. So Deborah Copperund is a super dedicated listener that you guys have. And she reached out to me to, she's probably listening right now.

Hi, Deborah. Shout out, Deborah. Hi, Deborah. And she heard me on here a long time ago. So she reached out to interview me for her new podcast, and it's called Read Minnesota Books. And so, yeah, I did an interview on there that you guys can check out. She's also interviewed some other fantastic Minnesota authors. So, psychic, shout out.

Oh, hell yeah. Okay. Shout out Minnesota. Minnesota. I grew up there. Yeah. One of the greats. One of our top 50 states, that's it. One of our favorite places to do a live show.

Yeah. Very pleasantly surprised. We keep feeling. We got to get it. We got to get the show back on the road. We are. Don't worry. now that the guy's child is old enough to be...

To fend for himself. Yeah, because I can just leave him in his room with a bowl of cereal for at least 36 hours. So, yeah, we're getting back on the run. You've learned this one parenting hack that teachers don't want you to know that. That I use with cats. Miles, where can people find you as their work in media you've been enjoying? Yeah, find me everywhere at Miles of Gray. Find me talking about 90-day fiancé on 420-day fiancé,

and find me talking about English, footie, or European, Footie at large on the new podcast, Ain't It Footy with Jamel Johnson and Chris Martin. Shout out to everybody who's been subscribing and rating. Please continue to do so because that's how we make this little thing go around and around. A work in media like, I just have to shout out Arsenal because we just won the Champions League semifinal. Wow. And we are now going to the Champions League final for the first time in 20 motherfucking years.

I remember watching that last final against Barcelona in 2006 in my little apartment in North Hollywood with my roommate, dejected as fuck when we lost it. Now it's time to correct that and maybe do something. And if that happens, I don't even know it's going to happen. I will be like Obi-Wan and Star Wars. Like my physical format ceased to exist and you'll just see a pile of clothing with a hat. Okay. So I just want to just, that was my work of media, the Champions League semifinal.

And also I just started watching Margo's Got Money Problems. That was something I just started watching recently. Yeah, in the first episode, it's interesting. One of those works, the works of media that I've only seen on billboards around Los Angeles. So it's the first time I've heard it. And now I know that it's a real thing. It's a real thing. And, yeah, a friend of mine is in it.

And it's kind of odd to see them be kind of like a shitty guy in it. But that's, I have to remember. That's called acting. Nah, I don't like who they are. Fuck that guy. Shout on my boy, Michael. I liked a tweet from Abdul at Abdul gone crazy. who tweeted y'all be scared to double text l m a oh not me ding ding tiz i again and i also liked

a tweet from poppy who said i'm in this facebook group where everyone pretends to be an to be ants and people just post picks of food and everyone comments lift in all cats very strange like you can find me on Twitter at Jack underscore O'Brien, Blue Sky, Jack Obey, the number one. Instagram, Jack underscore O underscore Brian. You can find us on Twitter on Blue Sky at Daily Zykeist.

We're at The Daily Zykeist on Instagram. You can go to the description of the episode wherever you're listening to it, and there at the bottom you will find the footnotes, which is where we link off to the information that we talked about in today's episode. We also link off to a song that we think you might enjoy. Miles, is there a song that you think that people might enjoy?

Yeah, this is from Boko Ute, B-O-K-O-Y-O-U-T. The track is called 9-2-5, the three numbers. But it's like, I need that 9-25, I need that 9-2-9-5, I need that 9-2. It's kind of a, it gets in your brain, and it's a dope track. This Boko-U-Ut has become, like, one of my slowly new favorite bands. So check this one out, 9-2-5 by Bocal Ute. That's what that movie would have been called if the Dolly Parton song would have been called if it came out in the early 90s.

Yeah, yeah. 9, 2, 5. Oh, there's a sequel. Yeah. We will link off to that in the, oh, yeah, they should do the sequel. Sequel. Speaking of one. Mail that to yourself.

Mail that to yourself. Yeah, copyrighted. The Daily Zike is a production of IHeartRadio for more podcasts from My Heart Radio. Visit the IHeart Radio app, Apple podcast, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows that is going to do it for us on this Thursday morning. We are back this afternoon to tell you what is trending and we will talk to you all then. Bye. Bye.

Bye. The Daily Zike Guys is executive produced by Catherine Law. Co-produced by Victor Wright. Co-written by J.M. McNabb. Edited and engineered by Justin Conner. Another podcast from some SNL, late-night comedy guy, not quite. Unhumor me with Robert Smygel and friends. Me and hilarious guests from Bob Odenkirk to David Letterman help make you funnier.

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