The Daily Zeitgeist - My WeeWee Is Bigly! CEO = Cocaine Energy Officer 12.09.25

Episode Date: December 9, 2025

In episode 1976, Jack and Miles are joined by comedian and host of Never Seen It, and creator of Boast Rattle, Kyle Ayers, to discuss… Palantir CEO Out of His Mind On Stimulants, MTG - The Rebrand Is Not Going That Great? JD Vance - Trump Said My Wee Wee Is Bigly, Matthew Lillard Claps Back … By Saying My Feelings Are Hurt and more! CEO of PALANTIR Alex Karp is FLYING MTG - The Rebrand Is Not Going That Great? JD Vance - Trump Said My Wee Wee Is Bigly LISTEN: Somewhere In My Memory by Ron BladworthSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

how are the chiefs doing oh it's bad but that's okay oh okay they've been good you know miles doesn't follow that wasn't him being like an oh they just lost it's like been like a nightmare season oh it has um of just crazy injuries who's gonna who's gonna who's gonna go to the super bowl i think the bills are going to win the super bowl oh finally you think so well there'll be no Lamar, Jackson, no Joe Burroughs, no Patrick Mahomes in the AFC playoffs. Everything is set up for the golden trip or the bills will lose the Super Bowl and it'll be funnier. That'll be even funnier.

Yeah, that's the, I have a, I know a couple of bills backers who I'm always like, got it, just for you, man. I hope, I hope you get something, you know. There's, I think if the bills win the Super Bowl, a bigger, a bigger percentage of people in that county will die the month after that than has ever happened before. And it'll be like a combination of. just a celebration that will be a nightmare in February in Buffalo and just people who are like fade out like infinity war like just you know all I mean if you look at it happened in the north

side of Chicago in 2016 as well of people who are just like it's done and they just sort of like fall apart in their apartment that was $108 when they got it yeah bye bye yeah there are some Bears fans doing that right now and we've only won nine games. It's the fact that we won nine games and people are like, this is the best team we've had in like three decades. Everyone's going to roam to where the stadium will be in five years and just stand there. Right, right, right. Oh, man. I wonder if anyone, they've definitely done studies on how people vote after a win, like a big win. I think people are more likely to vote for an incumbent if their local team wins because they just got more dope.

I mean, pumping through their brains. Do you guys see what Josh Hawley did? He made the Chiefs good by making them sign Harrison Butker to a long contract. Yeah. Like, we're not a rational species. No. No, I think it's the governor's fault. Yeah.

Even though the last time the Chiefs won't the Super Bowl, their parade wasn't exactly safe. Oh, yeah, that's right. There was a shooting that broke out, right? Yeah, someone died. Yeah, that's right. Someone dies. It's the mayor's fault. Everyone lives.

It's the governor's success. That's how Missouri works. Those are the rules. But I wonder if anybody's ever done, like, mortality rate following a big championship. I think that it's suppress news in Philadelphia, for sure. There has to be a lot of ER visits from, because, like, you know, it's falling off of fucking light poles, crashing their cars, injuring themselves, doing dumb shit. So, yeah, I definitely.

All of the examples you just mentioned, I was thinking of different people in Philadelphia and, like, one person in Boston. Sorry, I was envisioning entirely Philadelphia sports. definitely. Philadelphia is like we have to grease the poles because the flyers might win six straight. Just regular season games, not even playoff

games. They're just like the flyers are kind of having a good month. We should probably grease the light poles. I bet it doesn't help grease in the light poles in Philadelphia. I bet they still try. They overcome. What's that one Bill's had I see people wearing that looks like a crude drawing of the logo that people are rocking?

Have you seen guys seen this? You seen this? You heard about this? there's a Bill's hat that like I've seen oh I guess Josh Allen drew a picture of the logo and then like it went viral and now like they make the hat and everyone's was it Josh Allen or was it a was it him or was it a kid drew a picture of it and got made fun of at school that's what I think it is oh is that what it was by Josh Allen that's supposed to be Josh Allen that's the problem Josh Allen went to his school and made fun of him personally maybe it would be so funny if Josh Allen really it would be so funny if Josh Allen really ripped off a child's art and now they're making like millions of dollars just sounds like this kid drew my wife in sinners so i got to get back at her oh no it is it is it is josh allen drew it and then now they're doing it with like kids to be like this actually works with the child i don't know why it's crazy to see you reading about a child with muscular dystrophy on stupid dope dot com

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Hello, the internet, and welcome to season one. Nope. Season 417, episode two of Dernelie's Ice Geist. Our guest was like, am I in the right year? I apparently am not. It's a production of IHeartRadio's podcast where you take a deep dab and do America Shared Consciousness through the day's news. We also have a new weekly version of the show, a bit more history-focused.

It comes out every Monday morning where we do a deep dive into the history of a different icon. So far we've done Einstein. Ergel-Ukul-Nomics, Miss Piggy and Arnold Schwarzenegger. Look for episodes with Icon in the title. It's Tuesday, December 9th, 2025. You know what that means, Jack? You know I know what that is. It's Ludafisk Day, the lovable Scandinavian fish that everyone loves eating in viral challenges.

It's also Christmas Card Day, National Pastry Day. Yep, there it is. I wish my national food was so good that it was a viral challenge just to keep it down. Yeah, yeah. That's the one that people are like, ammonia? I can't really tell exactly. It's so good lie. Can't really tell exactly what cleaning products this is reminding me of.

It's lie. Okay. It's soaked in lie is how that's made, yeah. The thing that's used to dissolve bodies, correct? Sure, it's up to you. I mean, it's all about the proportions, man. It's about the ratios, man. I prefer so versatile to your acid.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. My name's Jack O'Brien, aka Potato's O'Brien, and I'm thrilled to be joined, as always, by my co-host, Mr. Miles Gray. Hey, it's Miles Gray, the Lord of Lancasham, the Shogun with no gun. And just counting down the days until old Santa comes down the chimney. Oh, yeah. I can't wait. We're doing a little math at my house today.

What do you mean? Figure out how many days until Christmas. You said meth? Doing a little math. Yeah. It takes a lot for us to get through a math problem. I was thinking of the Alex Carp Palantir video, so I got a little bit confused. But yeah, I'm like, I'm right now, like, now that my kid can articulate stuff that he, like, wants, I'm full-on-

on trying to restrain myself. He's so into cars, dude. Like, I just want to turn my kid into Lightning McQueen. If he could turn himself into Lightning McQueen, I think he would. I'm a little worried because he always wants to drive. Have you looked into the elective surgeries that are available? Well, I taped a bumper to his torso, and he didn't think it was too heavy or whatever, he kept saying. So I was like, this is not how Lightning would talk about this.

Yeah, yeah, exactly. Lightning's a closer, okay? He doesn't complain the second you start turning him into... a car. Miles, we're thrilled to be joined in our third seat by a very funny stand-up comedian, writer, actor, producer, creator of boast rattle, a compliment contest, and never

seen it. A podcast where famous comedians rewrite classic movies they've never seen, uh, you can and should go stream his special happiness and you can catch his show live in L.A. on January 19th and at Sketchfest in San Francisco, welcome back to the show, the hilarious.

Kyle Ayers! Kyle! Thank you. you. Thanks for, you know, it's good to be here. Yeah. Great to see you. Great to see you. Great to see you. Great. Nice to hear about your fender bender affirming care that you've been giving out. Yeah. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. He always wants to drive is the thing. You got to let him. I used to just be like, well, I was just, you know, turn the car off. I'm like, let him see the driver's seat. You know, like basic. I'm driving the car, quote unquote. But now he's like, turn the engine on. And I'm like, yo, no. Full of what? He's realized you've been giving him an unplugged controller this entire time. Exactly. The equivalent.

He's no quarters in the arcade. Because he watches me drive, and he's, like, trying to work the gear shifter and stuff. I'm like, oh, hell no, bro, this is not how it's happening. He still doesn't know how to turn the car on. Luckily, I keep telling him the hazard light button is how he turn the car on. And he's like, I want to turn on. I'm like, I don't know, man. I don't know.

He's just able to go viral for that. Yeah. Like a kid would just, like, be famous on the internet for driving a car two blocks to get to the store or something. Yeah, yeah, right. Steal his parents car. There's some great early internet videos of, like, cops chasing. down a person and then they come to the door and it's like a seven-year-old. Did you ever-

parents wouldn't take him to McDonald's? Did you guys ever have like those kids who would drive their friend's cars? Like when they weren't around like, yo, dude, do you want to take the car out and you're like 14? There's a big trend in eighth grade in Kentucky to steal your parents' car. Oh, really? Yeah. I definitely, we did.

A lot of people who did that. I did cheeky rides to like Blockbuster. Like that was like up the street. I wasn't driving my friend who was like completely a wild ass kid was like, dude my mom's gone let's go to blockbuster and we're like fuck yeah we get in the car like we were fucking 20 it was crazy we were 14 wait how old like 14 14 15 oh wow yeah yeah i don't think so i mean my dad drove like a massive long old and this is crazy the car mike ermine trout drove in breaking bad and better calls all it was the car my dad had so i was afraid to drive it's like

you're driving the edmund fitzgerald down the road like the steering was to go around once just to get or go take a right turn. Yeah, yeah. You need that like that trucker. We're a little light on this one. We're going to go around. Yeah, look like the big timers every time I go around to corner the amount that I'm like doing this. That's a reference that's getting even older.

It's hard to push the pedal in my gator boots, you know? Yeah. Thank you. And the pimped out Gucci suit. I was very scared of driving cars when I was a kid. I was like, I had a recurring nightmare. I think this came from my mom. I think this is a pretty common thing that you would just like. leave the kids in the car and, like, go into the store real quick, like, with the, you know, crack a window, leave the radio on.

I don't think that's a thing. What, are you living in a good town? And I would have, I had a recurring nightmare when I was a kid that the car would take off with me in it. Oh, that's so sweet. So even into, you know, driving age, I was very, I was very scared of. There's a lot of sentient car media for kids. That's right. Yeah, that's true.

Exactly. Even, even the best of them half the time, turn. into the bad guy. You know what I mean? So you need to whether you've been decepted in some sort of way. Yeah. Victor points out that I might have just been clairvoyant and I might have seen the Waymo's coming, you know?

Oh, that's true. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Stephen King invented those shits while incredibly high on cocaine. Yeah, nothing's ever made more sense than everything we've learned about him since seeing anything he wrote. Right, right, right. Oh, you're off. You've never had to, like, pitch me twice on.

Actually, do you know Stephen King? I guessed. I guessed he was. It all made perfect sense. Yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Makes sense. Makes sense.

You know what they left out of the movie that was in the books? I do. And I don't, I'm glad it's not in the movies. Thank God those people weren't on as much cocaine when they were adapting. I'm glad movies are shorter than books or we all would have seen all these things that were in the book. Well, speaking on speaking of being on a lot of cocaine, Kyle, not you. Kyle, we're going to get to know you a little bit better in a much. moment. But first, speaking of being on a lot of cocaine, we're going to talk about some

stories that we're covering today. And we're kicking off with just, there's not a ton to say here other than that the Palantir CEO, whose face I now know, I don't know his name. Alex Carp. Yeah. Um, sure. He, that's your name. He was, yeah, let's go with that. Sure, Miles. Uh, he was at the New York Times like book. What? What's the, the same place that Elon did the, what's my, the people who don't want to advertise on Twitter, go fuck yourself. That guy is able to bring the fucking wackiness out of these CEOs without even trying. Same stage.

A few years later, he was flying. Fly on a flyer. He was uncomfortably high. Yeah, 100%. He was John Leclair. He was such a flyer. There you go. Philadelphia Flyers reference.

If you was Eric Lindross. He just looks like a. soccer manager arguing a non-call for an entire interview. Who has to pee so bad. Yeah, the challenge is be a football manager arguing the ref, but you cannot get out of your seat. No, you're not. You're not a break. You have a warning already.

Yeah, it's him trying to not get tossed. So we'll talk about that video. We'll talk about a sneak peek that we're getting of the post-Maga careers of mega people and how they're going to try to escape accountability. and we'll talk about the continued fallout of Quentin Tarantino just going on a fucking drive-by of three very specific, seemingly randomly selected actors last week. We've got the first response from one of them.

All of that plenty more. But first, Kyle, we do like to ask our guest, what is something from your search history that's revealing about who you are? This is the last thing I searched all the way through because usually my phone just hears my thoughts and tells me what I was about to search. The last thing I searched all the way through

What is the princess Diana Beanie Baby Worth now? Ah, god damn. All right, hold on. Myle and I are, Miles and I are going to. The purple one? Yes. The princesses.

No, no, they made an anatomically correct one of her with skin and everything. With human skin and everything. All right, Miles. Let's do an over under see who comes closest. I remember when we did the Daily zeitgeist live show about 1999 or 2000, we looked it up that I remember someone on eBay was asking for tens of thousands of dollars for it.

And it was like, they were not. That was five years ago. So I'll say right now you probably get one for. I'd imagine the person who has it, though, is still tied to the idea that it's worth, this is the fucking, I don't give a shit of Beanie Baby's Artifice. This is the Princess Diana Candle in the Wind, freaking memorial one. I'm going to say there's one out there. There has to be one out there for at least like $8,000. Oh, I'm going $375.

Okay. Jack, you are so much closer. It is like a few hundred dollars. Wow. There are people trying to sell them for hundreds of thousands of dollars. I learned all this. I just sort of on a whim just needed to look this up. I was like thinking about my Pokemon cards and stuff.

And you start to remember all these things. And there's different types of beans inside of them. There's like polyvinyl chloride, which is more rare PVC beans. and then polyethylene beans, which they used later. All of them horribly poisonous and bad for the environment. It's like you could either get the lead beans or the asbestos beans. Oh, mine don't you want a taster's sniff. Yeah, I keep some beans under one of my teeth in case I'm ever a hostage.

And I could crack. And then there's also earlier ones. This is the best case is one that's made in Indonesia, which is before they started making them in China. And then there was like a with these PVC beans, the polyvinyl chloride beans. and then there's a tag where there was like a print on it a certain way. Not the tag on the ear,

but like the ones that were on the leg that just said like made in Indonesia. There's one of those that has a weird printing thing. Even all those best case scenarios, people think those ones are worth a ton, but everyone, they're not selling for a ton. They're just listed for a ton. Look,

the thing about this daima on it. Now the Prince Andrew ones, those are great. Those ones were all just given out to kids. I saw a thing about it. And they don't sweat either. It really was because they just made it. All right, we finally got them in stock.

We got a plan to get back on top. Yeah, the tie was for thank you. That's what I was for on the side of that one. So I don't know why I looked it up. Nothing, you know. There used to be books. Like there's Beckett for sports cards to tell you what your cards would be worth. Yeah, yeah.

These books were just lying. And they were like, this one is worth now $5,000, will be worth a million. That's what I said about. To the point of you said, you mentioned. your Pokemon cards. Are you looking to exit the market? Are these just things that are so near and dear? I'm just realizing the market might be at the peak right now. And I'm, I'm sitting on a pretty hefty binder of first editions, because I used to play the game. I like to play. You are out here doing the real shit. I was all first generation. Once they made the team rocket like dark ones,

that was my last one that I don't know what that means. But I'm going to take it as disrespect. Was when I bought everything like pre 2000. Oh. Oh, so you're really, you got that OG. I was like, yeah, the first rounds of them and I'm buying to play the card game. What are we talking? What are you sitting on? Some like first edition holographic, not the charisnors are, but first edition holographic,

Blastois, Venasaur, Machamp, Al-Qazams. Put a number on it. Put a number on your collection right now. There's only, there's one but not two commas in the number. Oh, wow. But also,

this isn't like enough to pay off my medical debt, otherwise I would. Sure. Right. I get that. But it is, I mean, it's probably like,

you know, once you get to find someone to buy these. Yeah, and I simply refuse to meet the person who would. Right. There's that part of it all, yeah. I simply refuse to let them know my email address. Yeah.

Like the chair company is like, I'm here to pick up the boys. Yeah. According to the internet, it's probably like 10, 10, 12, 15 grand. Oh, shit. Okay. Kyle, I'll just say this is something that I know having hosted a podcast with him, thousands of podcasts with him. Anytime I hear Miles ask someone if they're looking to get out of the market on something,

you're about to lose your shirt. I got this vibe. I got it. They're all on my, they're like all mounted on my wall behind me, wrapped like sneakers at those stores. I can't afford to go in. Yeah, yeah, sure. You can only look at the left machamp. If you want to see both of them, I'll bring them out. That's right. Right. What is something you think is overrated? A random medical advice from the internet. Oh, boy. What you get and what you're looking at? See, I collect random medical advice from the internet. Are you getting like trigeminal neuralgia takes? So yeah, I got, genital neuralgia. And if people have heard me, I'll talk about that a lot. And it's what my comedy shows based off is this like rare neurologic. I get it. It's, I can't even call it unsolicited because you put yourself out there and you're like, you know, I, nothing has worked. What do I do? That's soliciting, I guess. But it's like, it's like soliciting and like a Mormon blowing by my no soliciting sign. Do you know what I mean? It's right. Right. Right. Right. And I get, I have one message that someone had sent me that said, if you, send me some of your blood, which is an incredible way to, like, open. That's usually how we reach out to you about coming on the show. And they were like, if you send me some of your blood,

I can do tests on it. Doctors won't do. Mm. I don't know that they'll be effective particularly. I just know that doctors won't do them. If you remind me, I'll send you a because I have a screenshot of it, but it was also sent at like 120 in the morning, and I was just like, this is a vampire.

Like, this is only what a vampire would do. It was like, hey, you, up. Yeah. Hey, W.Y.A. Where are you at? Oh, yeah. W.I.A. positive, hopefully, because that's what we'll want. Vampire with a very specific freak where they're just like, yeah, I can only do. Maybe he has, like, some sort of, like, brain issue where he needs to offset it with the blood of someone suffering. I don't know exactly what that is, although there's plenty of that to go around this day. It tastes good. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. He wants, I have the veal of blood. Yeah, that's right.

Oh, man, yeah, the pain coursing through the body, that just gives it a whole other texture to it. I love knowing that maybe he threw up when he was bleeding. That's got to be wild, too, because, I mean, I read a lot of this stuff that you post, too, and it's very personal, and you write really beautifully about, like, your experience, like, that last one I read about you, like, floating through space. Like, that whole metaphor was very, like, it touched me, like, in a way that, like, sort of you articulating like that really gave me an understanding. of how difficult it can be to live with trigeminal neuralgia. But when you get, is it just, has it become normal, like, to express, like, because obviously, like, you know, so I post that pain chart that obviously that the pain you experience is orders of magnitude beyond these other physical sensations people experience.

That I can only imagine that inspires so many people probably coming from a good place and probably being like, oh, when I used to get bad migraines, I would do this. And you're like, you tried caffeine. You really, yeah, everyone has told me to try and cut out everything. Right. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It is, you know, it does come from a good place.

And ultimately, which is, I just kind of laugh. You know, I read everything because of desperation. And then you're sort of like, you know, people want to relate to you. And it's like if I'm trying to relate to like shack about basketball or something, you know what I mean? And I'm just like, yeah, no, it is. Yeah, it's crazy how you can just go to Walmart and buy the ball. And he's like, why don't, what do you talk? Like, I brought in the NBA.

I was like, yeah, but they sell the ball. Yeah, man, I know what that's like, dude. Pumping them up. Yeah, right, right. It's just could not be. And he's like, you know, my bed is bigger than your house. Like, it just could not be like a, uh, uh, but you ultimately coming from just wanting to help or or wanting to be heard because a lot of people who are going through something also

just sort of feel like it's a void all the time. And so. Yeah. And I don't detest or even hold any malicious. Of course, of course. The sad feelings. Malicious and detests are too strong of words even for what I don't have. I'm just sort of like, but at some point when you get a million of things, some of them are going to be people like, I, you know, I have bird bones and.

And so you're just sort of like I don't, you know, know what to do now. Like your bones are a bird? No, sorry, I collect bird skeletons. Sorry, I have to cover my bones with blindfolds or monsters attack me. I've got bird box bones Bird box bones And if I buy them at the gas station They're red bird box bones

Oh Red bird box bones What is something you think is underrated? So I did a little bit here But I also say Random medical advice from the internet Okay And then I have another thing for underrated as well

But some of the stuff is helpful That's why I read it all And that's why I'm appreciative Of people reaching out And being like, have you tried Is this something that can help you? So we kind of touch on it. But the other thing I find underrated, this is what I truly believe, is photo booth, the Mac app.

Oh, it doesn't are. Just using a weird tense. No, no, capital P, capital B, the app that, remember this used to be how, the only way we could be funny? Oh, yeah. I'm trying desperately to bring it back. One of the photos I put in the drop box for this episode is me alone in photo booth on my computer with no adjusted light. Whimsical filter did you use? Stretch.

And that's what they all could be called. Yeah, yeah. But they called one of them stretch, and then someone had to work on writing the other ones. Right. We all take for granted all of these filters. It used to be this, we were literally sitting here like, am I Andy Warhol?

Right. And you're like, this looks nothing like it now. Yeah. Now there's a filter that'll make you look like soup. but it used to just be am i pop art i remember like doing like the pencil one or like glow and being like i'm a fucking visionary right now the fact that this in my space like barely overlapped that was the golden time a thing that did one thing if you have an old mac and it's just been sitting in your closet go powered on an open photo booth and you'll cry

yeah this is what apple's ad should be this is what they always have some ad that makes you cry because they're like remember how time is passing have a phone or whatever right right they go open the oldest thing you have open the photo booth or and you will like see i found pictures of my my my brother and his friends and he's 10 years younger than me and this was in 2010 right he was like 11 and i'm just like oh now this is crazy photo booth bringing it back i might have gotten quiet here because i just opened photo booth on my computer you need to blockhead people i know people were like you don't do a lot. Some of them are like,

but people, you can click and move the twist around. You could, but some of them don't do a lot. And they may have stolen the Twitter bird and used it as one of their moving animation ones. For dizzy. Yeah.

But it is like, let's, let's have, let's go back to when everything did one thing. And you were like, I'll go in a photo booth and take a funny picture and upload it to the website. Yeah, because remember like that used to be the shit like in the early Apple store days.

You would go in fire up photo booth on an IMac, take some. Um, photo, flick it off and then close it. We're like, dude, the next person that opens this shit is going to be like, what? Oh, yeah. And then he moved on with your day. Yeah. And then it wants the phones, because I worked there, so when it's just, once the phones were everywhere on the floor, uh, the new thing was to, uh, wait, why did you put your real phone number in there?

We all can see it now. Yeah. You know what I mean? That sort of thing. But I miss it. I miss photo booth. I mean, maybe it sounds like I just was sad if I'm like, I go. Google Princess Diana Medical Pain and Photo Booth.

It sounds like I'm wronging. That's the next one, iTunes Music Visualizer. Right. I need to horizontally put a, just blowing in an NES game is underrated. Yeah, into a cartridge. We don't do a ton of screens, but this is one of my seven or nine-year-old's favorite little things to do. And endless fascination of just twisting their face up and stuff. It's fun.

Yeah. You have to do a little bit of the work. It doesn't just make you look like Thanos or whatever. All those filters that are so crazy. You're like, that's just what that looks like. I'm Ned Stark or whatever. Walk before you run, kids. Even my examples of people are old.

Ned Stark. I'm the guy who got his head cut off. You've seen the brand new filter where they make you Ned Stark. Yeah. The guy, he dies in episode six or seven so the kids can get into it. It's cool. This one gets stubborn. You get real stubborn and like bad at cost benefit analysis.

Yeah. And then you put your name into the Adina Menzel name generator. And now I look at myself in my own Zoom window and I look weird. I'm like, what? Is that what I look like? You're really looking at yourself too deeply. Now I'm actually seeing myself for the first time. Is the real me the twisted me?

Do you know what I mean? Nose twist. If you look into photo booth too long, a copy of infinite jest will show up behind you and you'll turn around and it'll be gone. Nose twist is actually how I see myself in reality. the twirrely nose at the beginning. Let's take a quick break. We'll come back. We'll talk about that Poundeer CEO and other stuff.

We'll be right back. If a Lenovo gaming computer is on your holiday list, don't shop around. Just go directly to the source, Lenovo.com. It's your last chance to score exclusive deals on the gaming PCs you want, like the Lenovo Legion Tower 5 Gen 10 gaming desktop and Lenovo Lock Gaming Laptop. So avoid all that shopping chaos and price comparing and just go directly to the source, Lenovo.com, where PCs are up to 35% off. That's Lenovo.com.

I'm Stefan Curry, and this is Gentleman's Cut. I think what makes Gentleman's Cut different is me being a part of developing the profile of this beautiful finished product with every sip you get a little something different. Visit Gentleman's Cut Bourbon.com. or your nearest total wines or Bevmo. This message is intended for audiences 21 and older. Gentleman's Cut Bourbon, Boone County, Kentucky. For more on Gentleman's Cut Bourbon, please visit

gentleman's cut bourbon.com. Please enjoy responsibly. Have you ever listened to those true crime shows and found yourself with more questions than answers? And what is this? How is that not a story we all know? What's this? Where is that? Why is it wet?

Boy, do we have a show for you? From smartless media, campside media, and big money players comes crimeless. Join me, Josh Dean, investigative journalists. And me, Roy Scoville, comedian, as we celebrate the amazing creativity of the world's dumbest criminals. We'll look into some of the silliest ways folks have broken the laws. Honestly, it feels more like a high-level prank than a crime. Who catfishes a city? And meets some memorable anti-heroes.

There are thousands of angry, horny monkeys. Clap if you think she's a witch, and it freaks you out. He has x-rayed vision. How could I not follow him? Honestly, I got to follow him. He can see right through me. Listen to Crimless on the IHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. Dad had the strong belief that the devil was attacking us.

Two brothers, one devout household, two radically different paths. Gabe Ortiz became one of the highest-ranking law enforcement. officers in Texas. 32 years, total law enforcement experience. But his brother Larry, he stayed behind and built an entirely different legacy. He was the head of this gang, and nobody was going to tell him what to do. You're going to push that line for the calls. Took us under his wing and showed us the game, as they call it.

When Larry is murdered, Gabe is forced to confront the past he tried to leave behind and uncover secrets he never saw coming. My dad had a whole other life that we never knew about. Like, my mom started screaming my dad's name, and I just heard one gunshot. The Brothers Ortiz is a gripping true story about faith, family, and how two lives can drift so far apart and collide in the most devastating way. Listen to the Brothers Ortiz on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

And we're back. Greg Karp? Alex Karp. Alex Karp. Alex Karp, Jack, the CEO of Palantir, man. The fucking company that's owning all of your data and basically setting up the next surveillance there. I mean, they already have it, but they're really, they're really, they're really put, they put the tech in techno-fascism, for sure. He looks like if Taika Watiti joins the cast of severance.

Yes, he does. That's what I. Indeed. That is exactly the thought I had as he looks a little like Taika Watiti. Anytime I've seen him before, my overall impression has been that he seems unbothered. Like, I'm like, you should be more bothered by your role here in this world. And you seem pretty blasé about the shit that is being used, the shit that your company is doing to everyone. And this, suddenly he seems very bothered. in this clip.

Yeah, there's a couple, I don't even know which one to start where there's one, let's just go, the one everyone's tie, there's like a 37-second clip most, 37-second clip that most you were talking about, where he can't,

just try and picture a man who has a combination of the most painful hemorrhoids. Yeah. And he's just, I think they call it the jing, when you're just, when you're all geeked up, you're like,

all of that. He can't keep his ass and, chair as he talks about God knows what, but this is, this is, this is the CEO of Palantir, folks. A lot of decisions when we began talking, annoying each other 10 years ago. Oh, again, smash his hemorrhoes up again, smash his hemorrhoes down again. Uh, again, when, when, when I made a, you know this. Every decision Palantir made, FDA's going. First of all, think of the most like out of control gesturing you could ever pick up.

He looks like being paid per emphatic. It makes me feel like the guy who runs a comedy club makes himself open every show. Oh, wow. It's like very much like the business guy performs. Right, right, right. Except this is drugs. But here he goes on. He's like, all the stuff we've done.

In public, building products, enterprise, large data sets, going to government, acknowledging American superiority, being pro-maritoxysing, launching an AI platform, calls into question that AI models would actually be able to perform with our orchestration. Every single one, our ontology, every single one of those was viewed us. Okay. So that's him. He also goes on to be like, I'm, I'm, the New York Times, man, you guys are really messing up saying, like, we're doing some, like, fascist stuff or whatever. You don't even know we're, this is just another.

I love the idea, like, you guys are messing up saying we're doing this fashion stuff. We'll shut you down if you keep saying. Yeah. Which is the, keep trying that. See what happens. yield immense amount of power and money to shut down what you're saying if you keep saying we did uh but this one he sort of essentially says like because you guys don't know anything about tech how can you rightfully describe what we're doing as like fascistic i think if you're listening i believe

in your mission when you write a technically completely illiterate article you lose a lot of credibility with people are technical and that's just a fact that article about us being a surveillance thing is like where it's all implied what we do yeah but the problem is you lose credibility with anyone who goes on the thing. And then, and that's damaging for our democracy. Let me ask you this. Again, look left and right. The one thing I would say to people in the audience, you know, you know a lot of you think

I'm right. And you know your spouse, your relative, your child. That's when you already know when you do the thing where clearly you're taking an L and go, y'all know I'm right. You, I am. Y'all know I'm right. This commencement speech was not going well and went all of the way in four. I'm obsessed with someone the CEO of a company using not a single proper noun

while calling people out in a very, very long diatribe. Right, right, right. He did not use the name a single thing. He also never denied any of it. He's like, it just makes you look crazy when you say it. And also, if you can't do the reading, then it isn't because you would. If you're not a tech, if you're not a tech, you wouldn't is. I'm like, buddy, you sound like your output.

Right, right, right. Yeah, yeah. Wait, have you been. taken over? Has your brain been taken over? That would be one explanation. Yeah, I mean, it's funny because that guy is also like, Alex Carp was like, yeah, maybe war crimes should be

illegal. And you're like, yeah, you're saying literally, you don't, the nothing's implied, your words or give everyone the same idea of where you're headed with this company and it's like, yeah, we need to work with ICE. You know what I mean? This is what was so unhinged about it was I was reading the notes and stuff of this episode and looking stuff up.

And there's not two articles referencing the same part of the unhinged rant. how crazy it is. Every article reference, and I'm like, these have to have been over nine years. But because, you know, you like look up Trump, there's 80 stories and it's from all different days. This is like every one of them came out in within five hours. And it's like he talks about, he's too arrogant. He's talking about ICE. He says legalized war crimes. He's talking about this neurodivertics. It's like every single one of them is a completely, he's pitching his screenplay called Die Harder. Like every single one of them is like a completely diehardist, uh, a completely

completely different thing, but it's all from the same speech. People just didn't know what to pick, take out of it. Yeah, yeah. Is the mainstream media acknowledging that like he seems to be high and uncomfortable? Or how are they, how are they going about that? I would imagine no, because I bet they're all referencing each other's

articles from one person writing something. I think, yeah, most things are like, just like describing literally what he did. Uh-huh. Like one like one Yahoo article sort of pointed out, it's like, if you relate to his, body language in this viral video, Palantir says it has a new fellowship for you because

what he did was like, we got this whole neurodivergent fellowship going on. And a lot of people were like, please don't blame whatever is going. Like, don't try and describe whatever you're doing neurodivergence. Like that is absolutely just villainous. Other ones, he defends being an arrogant prick. It's like, there's just so many things like to Kyle's point where they're just like, I don't know what this guy's talking about. I don't know how many obviously going to go out on a limb and be like, is this guy fucking off the shits right now? But can't stop interrupting the host. Can't stop interrupting himself.

Yeah. And well, and then another thing is that and that thing that I was going to say is actually. People say I'm a fucking arrogant prick or whatever. And you're like, oh my God. And also no one had said it. He just thought about it about himself. Yeah.

Hearing himself talk. Right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And he said, well, surely people will be thinking this if they are paying any attention to right now. I mean, there is, like, truly surrounding yourself with sycophanes is like the rarest of drugs that truly only a few people can afford. But combining that with cocaine is really some like next level plane of existence type shit. All gas, no brakes.

It's, yeah, it's what we're seeing with Donald Trump, you know, we're seeing like just all yes men speeding up whatever lack of impulse control they already had. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. see if we could get this thing to like break the sound barrier. Yeah. And so, bad ideas. You have this guy huge significant. Yeah,

right. Yeah. The huge company that contracts with the America, the U.S. government is out here just saying whack-a-doo nonsense. And he and Peter Thiel like both the purveyor, because they're two of the heads of this company that's been given like all manner of access to all our personal information.

Yeah. like he they give the strangest interviews interview like interviews where you're like that is that is not a human like that is the character that they shoot with a plasma gun in men and black like right before where you're like this person seems weird but don't shoot him agent jay don't shoot them oh they were an alien the whole time you're just saying that because they are trying to sell you trash and their heads grow back right they're secretly smuggling weapons under the guise of selling something else. They're exactly like the guy from Men and Black. Except not a good performance. Men and Black is great. Yeah.

So good. Vincent Donoffrey. I think that's one thing that we can agree on. Both Palantir and everyone in America, men and black is great. I think you guys, every episode should get ahead of the curve

and launch some sort of new fellowship based on how you think one thing might land from what you said in that episode. Just to distract from how anything, I'm going to launch a pun fellowship. Oh, For this one, for a pun, people who, you know, in case I make any pun that doesn't land quite properly in here, don't worry.

I've already launched this fellowship to distract the SEO if you search Kyle Ayers bad pun. That's right. That's actually brilliant. Yeah. We'll call it punnance for squares if we can. Oh. Write that down. All right.

Let's talk MTG real quick because I think we're getting a sneak peek of like what the Republican Party is going to look like in a few years or decades, depending on how quickly this is all over. Yeah, the post maga of it all. Yeah. Yeah. She's like backing out and gave her first, like, you want to know the unvarnished truth interview with the new and improved 60 minutes. And she was not having it, man. No. I mean, CBS already, it's like, of course, I mean, of course they're lining up to help Marjorie Taylor Green with the rebrand. But I think, again, she is an example of how MAGA people may try to off ramp. without taking any accountability for all their time being MAGA. Because in this interview, she's talking about, like, I just had to get out, you know, and it's the feud with the president.

And it was becoming too much. It's so toxic. She also mentions, like, how so many Republicans just talk shit behind Trump's back, but they just all cower and fear. So the second he won the primary, they all just got in line and started kissing his ass again. But I think that was pretty obvious to everyone. Yeah, we heard that one part where, like, Mike Johnson, who's the number one Trump's sick of fan, like on a hot mic one of the democrats was like are you fucking kidding me with how unhinged he is

and instead of being like what are you talking about he's the best he was like you're you're look at your side you also have some crazy people yeah so in this in this clip leslie stall they're talking about like how toxic the discourse is in american politics and leslie stall like rightfully is like but what of you marsry taylor green this jewish space lasers freak show uh he Here's the little bit of that interaction. It's the most toxic political culture. And it's not helping the American people. But you contributed to that.

You, you were out there pounding and salting people. Leslie, you've contributed to it as well with your own program. Yes, you're accusatory, just like you did just then. It's so fucked up. By pointing it out about me, you're actually part of the problem, Leslie. Look at you. And this is what the fuck I'm talking. and I'm me at me like I am.

Yeah. Look, the time for division is over. That's how they're going to do it with the MAGA thing. Like after everybody's like, what about all that nasty shit you said? Look, I said, I'm trying to put that shit behind us. And you're here back pointing fingers. You're a regular, I don't know, Donald Trump.

Right, right. This interaction goes on. I'll just let it completely play out because Lizzie Stahl's like, okay, honey. Sure. Acusatory, just like you did just then. I know you're accusing me, but I'm smiling. You're accusing me. I am accusing me.

But we don't have to accuse one another. I want you to respond to what you have done in terms of insulting people, yelling at people, and then saying... I'd like for you to respond for that. Oh, you can respond to that. I don't insult people. You do in the way you question and you're accusing me right now. It's the message. Imagine I, like, got pulled over for that.

for driving a hundred. And then I was to the cop, I was like, how'd you catch me without speeding? Huh. That's weird. Interesting. That's an interesting.

Seems like you were also going 100. So we agree. Neither of us were going a hundred. Hmm. By talking about my terrible behavior, you're kind of the bad guy, wouldn't you say? Aren't we trying to move past this?

I thought we're trying to move past this, yet you keep bringing up everything as if you don't want to move past things. And that's interesting to me, the person who actually has will not engage in any form of the way you ask questions you and i two equals on equal footing doing the same thing agree that nothing is anything can we love that the first reply to that and it's a little behind the curtain but it was like a a blue sky post the first reply was just mtg is not smart that was like when everyone that was like yeah that's kind of all we can really do at this point yep yep yep yep yeah exactly magic like the green i mean like thinking of just the tragedies that she has, like, weaponized for political gain or just propaganda purposes, it's foul, like talking about mass shooting victims.

Fucking, nothing was beyond, like, nothing was off the table for her. And I think, again, this is just sort of that cognitive dissonance where part of her knows she doesn't want to be part of the Trump thing anymore, for whatever reason. It's not, not, might not be purely ideological because it should be vibe-wise. Like, this doesn't feel like a win anymore. It feels like this brand is on a downward trajectory. trajectory. But wanting to do that yet not being able to take or hold yourself accountable for anything. I think it's like the part that they still can't quite acknowledge that was bad.

Like what I did was not the right thing. It's more just like that was a that like it's as if they're like I used to wear puka shell necklaces. Right. And that's it. We don't really need to talk about it. Like it really is not me and I'd like to focus on me without the MAGA hat on. There's simply so little accountability. I'm expecting a sold-out stand-up special to come out at any moment where she comes out with the mic. Sells out Madison Square Garden. MTG at MSG.

Yeah. Marjorie Squaler Green. I don't appreciate Miles that you used a direct quote from our interactions as the metaphor with the Pookishel necklace thing. It's like you could have varied up the language a little bit. Oh, are you a, uh, uh,

renounce Puga necklace. Pull him out from one of the shirt, Jack. Those days are so far behind me. He's tucking him. He's tucking him. I only put him on to get the tattoo traced. Those days are. Jack Johnson's going on tour next year.

Toss him back on. Have a day. Yeah, exactly. You know, I only wear him to my Jack Johnson concerts, which I do tour with the band. I do follow him around the country. You just have a tattoo. There's no shirt, no shoes. Entry.

Yeah. Get in here. Shirt, shoes, no entry. Do you, so with this, with March, this is, we're just going to hear this. I mean, there's going to be a super cut of people talking like this in the next five years, I would imagine. I feel like that's what I wrote down for my note about the thing. Yeah, because I think they know there is going to, there is going to be some reckoning, whether that's with their base or society at large.

I don't know in what form. But I think this, this allows them just like the psychological cover to be like, well, I distance. to myself. But I can't, I'm not going to fully be like, that was all backwards. That was all bullshit. I don't think, because again, I think these people were never really going to end up there, because that's not where they started pre-Maga. But yeah, it feels very much like that's going to be the rhetorical position when you're like, oh, this stuff with Trump, it's nuts. What about your hand in it? I'm trying to move on. I'm trying to move on. We're trying to put that stuff behind it. I thought you were the one who said that you wanted that stop. So are you

just the stuff that you were doing yeah but i want to move on now yeah we're trying to move on from that stuff which we all agree was bad but i'm not willing to say was bad here now as it relates to me yeah i mean i think uh optimistically it would be in like the next five five years that everyone would be like well this was fucking terrible but then even the optimistic side of it we're so bad about holding people in power oh yeah account for anything well they'll just be other people that, you know, Democrats will be like, we got to move on. We simply, why hold these trials in Nuremberg and take up all of these government resources with trials? We should stamp every visa we can to Argentina and move on as a nation. Thank you. There are some good rocket scientists here. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Stamp every visa we can just have these people go live in the desert and we wouldn't work for us. You know how to make bombs? Welcome in. All right. Let's take a quick break and we'll be right back. If a Lenovo gaming computer is on your holiday list, don't shop around.

Just go directly to the source, Lenovo.com. It's your last chance to score exclusive deals on the gaming PCs you want, like the Lenovo Legion Tower 5 Gen 10 gaming desktop and Lenovo Lock Gaming Laptop. So avoid all that shopping chaos and price comparing, and just go directly to the source, Lenovo.com, where PCs are up to 35% off. That's Lenovo.com. I'm Stefan Curry, and this is Gentleman's Cut.

I think what makes Gentleman's Cut different is me being a part of developing the profile of this beautiful finished product. With every sip, you get a little something different. Visit gentlemen's cut bourbon.com or your nearest total wines or Bevmo. This message is intended for audiences 21 and older. Gentleman's Cut Bourbon, Boone County, Kentucky. For more on gentlemen's cut bourbon, please visit gentlemen's cut bourbon.com. Please enjoy responsibly.

Have you ever listened to those true crime shows and found yourself with more questions than answers? And what is this? How is that not a story we all know? What's this? Where is that? Why is it wet? Boy, do we have a show for you? From Smartless Media, Campside Media,

and Big Money Players comes Crimeless. Join me, Josh Dean, investigative journalists and me Roy Scoville, comedian, as we celebrate the amazing creativity of the world's dumbest criminals. We'll look into some of the silliest ways folks have broken the laws. Honestly, it

feels more like a high-level prank than a crime. Who catfishes a city? And meets some memorable anti-heroes. There are thousands of angry, horny monkeys. Clap if you think, she's a witch, and it freaks you out. He has x-ray vision. How could

I not follow him? Honestly, I got to follow me. They can see right through me. Listen to Crimless on the IHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. Dad had the strong belief that the devil was attacking us. Two brothers, one devout household, two radically different paths. Gabe Ortiz became one of the highest-ranking law enforcement officers in Texas. 32 years, total law enforcement experience. But his brother Larry, he stayed behind and built an entirely different legacy.

He was the head of this gang, and nobody was going to tell him what to do. You're going to push that line for the cause. Took us under his wing and showed us the game, as they call it. When Larry is murdered, Gabe was forced to confront the past he tried to leave behind and uncover secrets he never saw coming. My dad had a whole other life that we never knew about. Like, my mom started screaming my dad's name, and I just heard one gunshot. The brothers Ortiz is a gripping true story.

about faith, family, and how two lives can drift so far apart and collide in the most devastating way. Listen to the Brothers Ortiz on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. And we're back. And where's JD Vance been lately? I feel like it's been a, it's been a while since late in. His wife has been out here showing up without a ring, but what was the last thing he's been involved with other than hugging that poor widow?

Comforting a widow, Jack. Providing solace for a widow. To the widow Kirk. Do they call her the widow Kirk like in an old-timey book? Desperate moment of solace. Yeah. Well, Vance hasn't quite, you know, joined the widow Kirk and, you know,

the unification merger for the 2028 ticket. but he did host a wonderful holiday party for none other than one of your favorite performers, Jack, Sylvester Sly Stallone. Oh, hell yeah. He's been having a great run. Great run, great run, that guy. Kennedy Center, Trump inducted him into the Kennedy Center or something or other. Yeah, you know, do what you got to do. It's actually called to something or other, too, I think.

He's the winner Honor for the Kennedy something or other FIFA's Kennedy Center Placeholder winner award Golden Peace or rather But yeah he went Took to the lectern

During this wonderful holiday party With his hostage spouse at his side And to just really Just was like He was like I think he's holding a champagne glass And he was like people always ask me Like what's like being the vice president

He fucking starts off This anecdote with And just gives the weirdest. Just listen to this story that, like, sounds like it never happened and also probably 100% happened. I'm just trying to figure out which one it is. But here's J.D. Vance talking about what it's like, dude, to just be like kicking it with the president. So, for example, today I'm in the Oval Office with the President of the United States and our great secretary of state, Marco Rubio, and we're talking about something really, really

important. Like that. I can't tell you what it is. I love name dropping like I'm at a holiday party in Los Angeles. I know. It's like kind of pathetic. It reminds me of the... What are you guys working on? What do you got going on? Oh, I'm actually working with, I don't know if you guys know, it's the director from the new I love L.A. series.

Just doing some stuff with that. I was at the holiday party with George Clooney. And he said the funniest thing to me. Oh, my God. Said I have a... Not actually, I won't... I love the first. name, then eased in the last name

kind of drops or thing. Well, George, then wait for people's eyes to like kind of ask you the question. Oh, I was at work with my friend Mike Erman Trout and he We were doing pickups. Yeah, we were doing pickups at different Los Poyos

Armanos locations. I was pulling into the court house parking lot and my friend was working there. But again, we're talking about something really important. Go on. And the president kind of holds up his and says, no, no, no, hold on a second. There's something much more important.

Shoes. I believe that. Oh, yeah. So Trump pulls up a viral video he just saw for the first ever time about shoes. Let's get some shoes. He loves it, like for a homophobic man, loves shoes, loves Broadway. Yeah. We'll interrupt a meeting to be like.

And we'll clock your nasty ass shoes apparently. And this is what he goes on. Shoes. He peers over the resolute desk and he says, Marco, J.D., you guys have shitty shoes. So he goes out and grabs a catalog. There happens to be an... The catalog? This is where it gets weird, right?

So he goes out and grabs the catalog. There happens to be another politician in the room. I won't say who. And you'll find out why in a second. And he actually runs us through this incredible shoe catalog. And by the way, honey, the president is giving us with four years of shoes. It's so incredible, you wouldn't know it. You wouldn't even know about the incredible shoes.

First of all, why is there a fucking shoe catalog with an arm's reach of the resolute desk? I believe, all right. That's almost the only part I do believe of that story. You've seen his office. Like, it's, he takes all of the, like, bullshit, like, junk mail and takes that seriously. Yeah. Like, there's that anecdote about how Spy Magazine sent all the richest people in New York, like, a series of checks from like $100.50, 25, 12, like down to one penny. And the only person who cashed every

check down to the bottom was Donald Trump. This was like in the 90s. I don't, but it'd be great if it was now and he's taking photos of the check. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like everyone is a separate. He's like, do I took the box before? Right. But I totally believe that he has every shoe mailer known to man, you know. Oh, boy, Farragamo's really falling off. I thought they did. something different this year. Do you think Dillards will honor this coupon I saved? Right, right, right. What do you mean?

The Wiz? The Wiz isn't around anymore? Oh, gosh. You guys are going to believe how many CDs I can get cheap. This guy just came to the door. I like, he's also like, wow, he's gifting us with four pairs of shoes. Oh, really, Tiny Tim. Go on.

And I need four pairs for Marco. And he's actually asking our size in the middle of this conversation. He's asking for our size so that he can make sure that we get the right shoes. And he asked this other policy, she said, I'm going to get you some shoes, too. And so he says, Marco, what's your shoe size? And Marco's apparently an 11.5. He says, is no way, Mark,

my shoe size. Hold on. Why did that even get a laugh? Like, I don't even understand, like, what? Mark, what's your shoe size? Like, there might be some plants in this crack. I'm not going to, not going to lie to you. I'm like, what is going? Yeah, truly, right?

Shoes came in half sizes. Maybe this is 11 and a half. How are you going to wear 11 and a half shoes? 11 and a type of milk Yeah Okay Shoe size and Marcos apparently in 11 a half

He says You know J.D., what's your shoe size? My shoe size is 13 And he asked this politician Why I warn him What his shoe size is And he says seven That is really fucking funny.

That is really fucking funny It says You know you can tell a lot About a man by a shoe size Bring down the house Death Jamststown Daddy Trump said, my wee, wee is Big Lee. I'm expecting him to keep going.

He's like, so this other politician gets up to leave, and Trump's like, where are you going? The bathroom? You're going to go take a poop? They're taking a poop. Trump's just making crowdwork reels in the Oval Office. Who the fuck is that, do you think? First of all, was there really another person they're wearing the size seven? No.

And it's just as the straw man for J.D. Vance's big dick she says. That I don't believe. Yeah. That I don't believe. I do believe the catalog. You believe? Catalog, I believe, because there's no serious work happening in there. And I do believe that they're potentially were being like, hey, we just heard back about this fucking peace plan for Ukraine.

And he's like, your guys, shoes are bad. Someone said shoe in, and that's what happened. We're a shoe in, you know, hey, they're a shoe in for the peace price. I'm about to get you one. I don't believe that he knew it was called the Resolute Desk, unless he'd watched National Treasure recently. I think that that's probably what most... He's probably tried to turn something underneath

it to open a secret drawer if you, which I would do. Maybe I shouldn't be holding that again. I would turn every fucking novel in that. Yeah. Yeah. It's... Yeah. Like, and this is also how Trump tells stories. Like, it just seems like J.D. Vance's very studied Trump impression. Like, Trump just hosted the...

It's a long walk to a street joke. Yes, exactly. That's exactly what it is. Every time. He... Trump doesn't... it without any payoff either because he's forgotten the street joke so he's like always tells the story about how he went golfing with gary player and he's like and he's hitting he's hitting it straight bing bing bing bing guys 90 years old hitting it straight bing bing bing which is his favorite noise

to make then another guy comes up he doesn't hit it so straight gary said let me show you how to do that hits it straight bing bing bing yeah he's like caught it in a loop of his own joke yeah exactly But he does, and it's like such a bad story that he told at the Kennedy Center, like, his first hosting it. By the way, it's like we, we lose track of just how fucking weird things have gotten that he's just up there doing material. Like, just this is all he's ever wanted is to be Jimmy Kimmel. And so he threw his own award show so that he could be Jimmy Kimmel, spent 15 minutes saying Jimmy Kimmel doesn't have talent, telling stories that have no punchline. and are just like, and I looked pretty good next to this third person who sucks shit

and I won't name, which J.D. Vance is nothing if not a student. And if he can find a way for the moral of the story to be J.D. Vance has a big dick. If I'm, if I'm AOC, I'm saying I was the third person in the room. I was the third person. I'm like, that was me, and I don't know why he's saying it weird

like that. We were all talking and they say, right? just somewhat i'm from anyone i want 20 politicians to claim it was them just to throw an entire thing into it i mean the other thing is trump i do it's possible that he even though it could be like myth-making on behalf of jd vans himself trump does like to talk about people's dicks if you remember the campaign trail last year he was talking about golfers wasn't it arnold palmer he had a great arnold palmer his man was strong and tough and i refused to to say it, but when

he took showers with the other pros, they came out of there, they said, oh, my God. That's unbelievable. That's unbelievable. What a miss moment to be like, I don't want to spill the half lemonade, half tea on this guy, but he had a huge.

Yeah. Don't give him ideas. He also sounds much younger there, by the way. Somehow, he still sounded like shit. Still sounded like shit, He sounded like a much younger person who was at the end of their rope as opposed to right now. But yeah, it's funny that he only has like two speeds in there, like, stories about golf and then telling people their shoes suck shit. The middle of the Venn diagram of Trump's act is Arnold Palmer.

He's like, you either got jokes about knowing how big your friend's penises are or if they're good at golf. And boy, do I have a closer. Yeah, a little bit. Check this one out. All right. And finally, we just want to check back in with the on. ongoing story that we're following here, the Daily Zykeyes, and that is, of course,

Quentin Tarantino's recent diatribe against actors he doesn't like, kind of completely unprovoked, just talking about things he does like, his top ten favorite movies of the year, or of the decade, the century? Century, I think. The century so far.

The 21st century, yeah. And, you know, in a movie that he put in his top ten, there will be blood. He was like, would have been higher, too. If it weren't for Paul Dano, that fucking guy is the limpest dick in the world like just on the world. I'm also obsessed with like having criticisms of one of your favorite movies of a century. You can just be like, you don't got to tell us why it's four instead of two.

Right. It's there's a love-hate relationship for sure. But then it's the, it's the Owen Wilson and Matthew Lillard ones too. They're always like, wait, why are they getting roped into this? Yeah, the guy is trying to be like back out of it. Brett East and Ellis, who doesn't back away from things very easily. He was like, yeah, maybe we should, like, move off of this. You've been talking about how Paul Dano sucks, like, in different ways for a very long time.

Well, when we started out talking about a thing, people actually want to hear from you. And you don't have anything to back it up other than, like, I don't like him. So he's like, yeah, all right. So anyways, and he's like, don't like Paul Dano. Don't like Owen Wilson. And I don't like fucking Matthew Lil. Fucking lightweights, those little fucking losers. Yeah.

Spray and shots across two other. people called them. None of them have responded directly as of right now. I know Paul Dano, a lot of people who've worked with Paul Dano are like, man, shut the fuck up, Quentin was sort of like people came to defend Paul Dano. But Matthew Lillard was recently at GalaxyCon in Ohio because I think he's promoting the new Five Nights at Freddy's movie. And he did address it. But he did it in a way that like just it just feels bad. He says, quote, Quentin Tarantino this week said he didn't like me as an actor. Eh, whatever. Who gives this shit? Listen, the point is that hurts your feelings and it fucking sucks and you wouldn't say that you wouldn't say that

claps back you wouldn't say that to tom cruise you wouldn't say that to somebody who's a top top line actor in hollywood and he like went on to be like it's it's humbling but yeah it sucks like he kind of just like it kind of that's so jarring to it's something so specific about it because Lillard and Dano strike me as actors he would like right so this is my this is my theory of what's going on here. The Lillard thing was kind of the thing that I think Scream is essentially a Tarantino horror movie, like done as well as he could have done. Like not all the camera trickiness and stuff, but it's like self-referential. It's got conversation about movies that would be like perfect. It's like a great thing stating on the

shoulders of what it exists because of. Yeah. And I feel, you know, it came out at a time when he was making a lot of movies. Owen Wilson was, like, writing the West Anderson movies at a time when Tarantino was, like, at the height of his shit. And I just feel like, we always see the people who are, like, very famous. They sort of get frozen in amber at the peak of their fame. And, like, that goes for, like, how they dress. But also, I feel like it probably goes for their grudges, too.

I don't know the Paul Dano thing. My theory is still that it's, like, his anti-Palestinian thing. But Tarantino's anti-Palestinian thing. Yeah, Tarantino's anti-Palestinian thing. But, yeah, it just feels so random that you kind of have to, like, figure out where that's coming from. A little analysis, yeah, is definitely needed. Because I'm trying to think, like, what is he, when did Paul Dano turn out? That's the other question.

It's just like, did he try to put these guys in something? I just sort of saw it and they haven't really just been sitting on my theories about it. Is just, would Tarantino even remember saying that if you asked him the next? next day. What do you have a completely different opinion on it? Did Paul

Dano take too close of parking at the Vista? Right. Like when Tarantino was there to put a bit in on it. I'm not sure what.

It's just so random and so weird. It really, really just is such, it's also such a break from how the rest of the news has felt as bizarre as that sounds

that we're all very fascinated. Which is why we're calling it Dano Gate and covering it 24 hours a day. Dano and Lillard are built the same. Like, I'm like,

what are these people in common? They're both like vainy Gumbees. and I mean that in a nice way you know what I mean they're like skinny tall long like I like uh but Vanney Gumby yeah

Dan Owen Wilson have similar like critically acclaimed careers but Lillard is like an eccentric actor I'm just trying to talk it out now that I think is that really like Tarantino would want Matthew Lillard in something he's so specific that's what I'm saying yeah and great

and eccentric anyways I don't know what is what's Owen Wilson written he wrote Rushmore and Royal Tannenbaum's and then bottle rocket right with his brother that was like the first thing they did or was it just one of them anyway i wonder if he's also kind of like part of him's like damn the fucker can write too yeah like there's maybe something about owen wilson that he like he hates because he he can write and also when he acts people like that wasn't repugnant horse shit like when tarantino's weird ass face shows up on screen

how many movies without making himself say the n-word right yeah exactly because i'm of these Tarantino's in the second longest streak of his career of doing that and it's two. Right, right,

right, right. He's not a eater, folks. He might go three movies without writing himself in to say a slur that wasn't needed. Why do, why was he Australian in that?

None of it made any sense. Yeah, yeah, exactly. He's like, I've been working on my accent. Exactly. You mean you've been doing specifically around this one word.

No, you've been doing cocaine. Yeah. Yeah, you've been doing cocaine and watching Crocodile Dundee on a loop thinking I can do that. I can do that.

You know who it would make even less sense to say this, an Australian person. That's how I know it's gratuitous. Even the guy in the movie had to hear someone else say it, ask what was that and learn it. That's what's so cool. It's like real life,

man. This is, and I don't want to harp on him too long, but something that I was thinking about is how he never seems to have any disagreement with actors he's worked with who have negative things to say about him or the experience. He seems to kind of agree, oh yeah that is how it went and I hope they don't bring it up ever again right right right oh man he yeah his in terms of like what's their size this is what we should be asking exactly trustworthiness of his takes on things I would say

he's not the not the top of the mountain do you think tarentino measures uh penis size in millimeter just so he can do it like he does a print of a movie um sorry uh I froze for a second. It's okay. Don't run it back for that. But I'm assuming it was a foot joke and I loved it. Kyle Ayers, such a pleasure having you on the daily site guys. Where can people find you, follow you, all that good stuff? I'm at Kyle Ayers on most of the things or if you search it there. It's me or a minor league baseball player. I'm not that one. And at K-Y-L-E-R-S, most all places. Amazing.

Is there a work of media that you've been enjoying? So I have two things. One, they're both from threads, which I love threads, because you don't have any control over what you see,

even if you tell it what to show you. I just, so this is from Sailor Mel 6,9, 420, someone I don't know, have no idea who they are. They said, okay, so apparently I was late to learn that Uncq isn't short

for uncircumcised. What the fuck? is wrong. I don't know who this person is. We'll never see them again the rest of my life. Oh, my God. This is just someone. This is just someone. And this is why I love threads because the thread below that one was from J.L. Keefe 8, who has like eight followers and no one had interacted with this. Not a single person hit. And it is just a picture of soup.

And it says a cold, rainy day is perfect for turkey buffalo soup. Thanks, Mom, Joanna Rupert. I don't even know what that means. I don't know if she's Joanna Rupert. I feel like I can say it at least because it was publicly on threads. And it has a picture of soup. Honestly, doesn't turkey buffalo or chicken buffalo soup sound good? I'm looking at out.

Sounds great to me. But I love, I just, this person has never done anything else on threads. All they've done is post a picture of their mom's soup recipe. Yeah. What is it right? Why are we on there? Yeah, we have it for the ages. Why aren't we?

Oh. Why are we on there? Why aren't we? Many are asking these questions. Miles, can people find you? Is there a work of media you've been enjoying? Yeah, find me everywhere at Miles of Gray. Today is the premier episode of the new soccer football podcast.

Footy Ain't It? Or rather, ain't a footy. What's the dangly you guys are talking about. Yeah. Why did I say footy ain't it? Ain't a footy? It's, look, that's how you know you've got it in your bones when you don't get the title right as you announce it. But yeah, it's hosted by me, Jamel Johnson, Chris Martin, not of cold play, but English nonetheless, where we talk about. I tried. I'd just settle with another guy named Chris Martin. Just fun talk and unhinged banter around European soccer. So check that out. If that interests you. A little bit of the old banty. Exactly. I feel like that's how British people would talk about banter. Banty? A good chat, right, mate? Yeah, a bit of a pair of ill-fitting banties. They'll tell us we call soccer something dumb and then they'll call banter uppity goes of the down mouth. and let's see

I also talk about 90 day fiance I'm 4 20 day fiance a work of media like this was just this struck me as like when I was peak living alone and like working on music or something just I'm a very introverted person

like I don't know if any of you have gone literal 24 hours or more not actually having to say anything out loud because you're just alone and working on something but this one is from at Joey talks too much It just says when you live alone and realize you haven't said a word in three days, and it's a video of a dude playing video games.

But the way this realization happens, it resonated with me as someone who has gone multiple days without saying anything. He was just kind of, checker is like, oh shit, I haven't said shit. And just you got to do some kind of vocalization. I felt that shit. So shout out to that video. Fucking very specific sensation. You can find me on Twitter at Jack underscore O'Brien on Blue Sky. Jack O'Bee the number one.

I like to tweet by Demia Diguibe, who tweeted, just saw Dick Cheney sitting outside a cafe in Fort Green. He smiled and mouthed, Dark Night Rise and sat at me before tossing a calamari in the air and missing his mouth. You can find. us on Twitter and Blue Sky at Daily Zikeyes. We're at The Daily Zykeyes on Instagram. You can go to the description of this episode

wherever you're listening to it. And there at the bottom you will find the footnotes, which is where we link off to the information that we talked about in today's episode. We also link off to a song that we think you might enjoy. Hey, Miles, is there a song that you think that people might enjoy? Yes, I've been listening to a lot of Christmas music, but I've heard every Christmas song too many times that now.

I've been listening to Smooth jazz versions of them. And there's a... A jazz cover of the track Somewhere in My Memory, which is the Home Alone theme, written by John Williams, okay, iconic. But it's covered by Ron Bladworth. And it's just like,

Oh, dude, R. Blad He's back in it. He's back in it. So it's just a very, like, when I heard it, I realize how much that Home Alone theme song, I'm like, that is a fucking banger, dude. John Williams, again. But anyway, somewhere in my memory, Ron Bladworth, the jazz.

version. Okay. That song's sad as hell. Yeah, fine. Yeah. There are lyrics to it, which I didn't realize, but yeah. There's lyrics to the, there's lyrics to the home alone theme. Somewhere in my memory, there's lyrics to that? Yeah. And you can like kind of hear it's like children singing it quietly. Oh yeah, like children's choir. Candles in the window, shadows painting the ceiling, gazing at the fire glow, feeling that gingerbread feeling, precious moments, special people, happy faces as I can see somewhere in my memory, holiday joy is all around me, living in my memory.

So it's like all that good stuff. Living in my memory. But what are the lyrics? Yeah, it is from a perspective of someone remembering the old earth while living on the cursed earth. Yeah. Living underground in that sewage drainage pipe from the Metallica video. Hell yeah.

The Daily Zykeyes is a production of IHeartRadio for more podcasts from My Heart Radio visit. The IHeart Radio app. podcast or wherever you listen to your favorite shows that but what are the lyrics really got my that is going to do it for us this morning we're back this afternoon to tell you what is trending and we will talk to you all then bye bye the daily zeit guys is executive produced by katherine long co-produced by bay wang co-produced by victor wright co-written by jm mcnap edited and engineered by justin connor

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I know he has a reputation, but it's going to catch up to him. Gabe Ortiz is a cop. His brother Larry, a mystery Gabe didn't want to solve until it was too late. He was the head of this gang. You're going to push that line for the cause? Took us under his wing and showed us the game, as they call it. When Larry's killed, Gabe must untangle the dangerous past, one that could destroy everything he thought he knew.

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