The Daily Zeitgeist - Top 10 of 2025: #3 Arnold Schwarzenegger w/ Jon Gabrus

Episode Date: December 31, 2025

We are counting down the top 10 episodes of 2024, as voted by our listeners. At #3, we have: Icon #4: Arnold Schwarzenegger w/ Jon Gabrus Hello, The Internet!™, and welcome to this spinoff episode of The Daily Zeitgeist we’re calling The Iconograph: a show about icons. In this episode, Miles and Jack are joined by comedian/podcaster Jon Gabrus to talk about the cybernetic organism (correction: body builder) sent from the future (correction: Austria) to take the world by storm: Arnold Schwarzenegger! They'll explore his rise to stardom, his STAGGERING horniness and why he snapped Barbara Bush's leg like a toothpick!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Gentleman'scuturban.com. Please enjoy responsibly. Have you ever listened to those true crime shows and found yourself with more questions than answers? Who catfishes a city? Is it even safe to snort human remains? Is that the plot of Footloose? I'm comedian Rory Scoville,

and I'm here to tell you, Josh Dean and I have a new podcast that celebrates the amazing creativity of the world's dumbest criminals. It's called Crimeless, a true crime comedy podcast. Listen on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

I know he has a reputation, but it's going to catch up to him. Gabe Ortiz is a cop. His brother Larry, a mystery Gabe didn't want to solve until it was too late. He was the head of this gang. You're going to push that line for the cause? Took us under his wing and showed us the game, as they call it. When Larry's killed, Gabe must untangle the dangerous past,

one that could destroy everything he thought he knew. Listen to the Brothers Ortiz on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Who would you call if the unthinkable happened? My sister was y'all 22 times. A police officer, right? But what do you do when the monster is the man in blue? This dude is the devil. He'll hurt you.

This is the story of a detective who thought he was above the law, until we came together to take him down. I said, you're going to see my face. to the day that you die. I got you, I got you, I got you. Listen to the girlfriends, untouchable, on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. Hello, Zyte Gang, and welcome to the end of the year. During these two weeks surrounding Christmas and the new year, we take some time off.

During the mornings, we'll run some new holiday and end of the year content. can listen to while we're taking a break. In addition to all that stuff in the afternoons, where we would usually drop the trends episode, we are rerunning the 10 most popular episodes of this year, according to you. You voted with your dang ears, and we listened with ours. Actually, we looked at the data. We're spying on you. Honestly, I'm mostly in this podcasting thing. For the rich marketing data, it provides to me about each and every one of you. At the end of the year, when I look back to see what made the top 10, and this was actually my favorite year to look back at, our top 10 is full of episodes.

I feel like made it because of a bunch of different reasons. There are some episodes that dropped after huge news events. There are some first episodes that dropped right after some hilarious news events. some great new guests, some classic fan favorite guests and some new formats we tried out that we're very excited to see that you guys enjoyed. Before we get into it, I just want to thank you guys for once again being such a cool community that's bloomed up around this podcast we've been doing all these years. You guys repeatedly make us proud. You're there for us when we go through some really difficult shit. You show up at shows of our guests and we always get great reports

from our guests about our listeners. You are the rare podcast audience that makes us extremely proud to have you as listeners so far. So don't fuck this up, you guys. And we are up to the top three. And coming in at number three is an episode called Icons number four. So many numbers here.

Icons number four, Arnold Schwarzenegger with John Gabris, one of our new iconograph episodes. Great match. of guest and subject matter was a blast to record and we were very happy to see that you enjoyed listening to it it is our number three most popular episode of the year enjoy hello the internet and welcome to this iconograph episode of Dernelie Zeitgeist oh yeah for it he's horny to that yeah also the noise you make when you're horny uh instead of instead of of looking at the Zykeyes through current events.

Once a week, we're looking at the zeit guys through the lens of the powerful pop cultural horror cruxes that are our icons, Einstein, Erkel, Miss Piggy, so far. We use these characters and celebrities to create meaning, to build identity to create the greatest soundboard in the history of mankind. Oh. Stop whining. I'm a cop, you idiot. To learn.

I hope you leave enough room for my fist because I'm going to ram it in your stomach. to learn what a normal male human body is supposed to look like was an early lesson I took from our subject today. But most importantly, we learned that sometimes a Polish American small town sheriff named Mark Kaminsky has a thick Austrian accent and you don't need to worry about why. It's just how it is. That's right. Episode four, we're talking to Arnold Schwarzenegger, the Austrian Oak, a man who took over the film industry and pop culture for two decades became the governor, of the largest state in the United States and in the process snapped Barbara Bush's leg like a twig, something I've learned during the course of researching this episode.

A shout out to J.M. McNabb, who provided the research dossier on this one. Speaking of the research dossier, stick around for the end of the episode for my No, No, No, No, No, Book dump, where I give you my final thoughts and little information nuggets I didn't get to in this conversation. I'm thrilled to be joined as always by my co-host, Mr. Miles. Gray. Oh, man. It's just me, man.

This is me. Nothing else. Nothing to see here. In our third seat, one of the greatest comedians, improvisers, and podcasters in the business. Yeah. He co-hosts one of my favorite podcast, Action Boys, on Patreon,

which makes him one of our foremost Schwarzenegger scholars. It's John Gabriel! When I am on the Daily Zeitgeist, it's like I am coming all things. It's like I'm coming. When you're saying, my name. I am coming. When I'm doing my plugs, I am coming. Can you believe how

much I'm in heaven? Lou, did you hear? I'm on daily zeitgeist. I'm coming. I went to high school of Loufregnoe, Jr. Whoa. And we would always say that to him. Yeah. Was it, when you were with him, were you sometimes

you know, I'd imagine it wasn't too hard for you to give him the wrong advices? Yeah. That's one of my favorite underrated quotes. Shout out to my friend, Sean. Uh, who always talk about the part where he's like, uh, yeah, sometimes I, on workout day, I give him advice and it's not too wrong to give him the wrong advice. And he says it's so, like he's so fucking clever. But he's saying advices. Um, like mine. I do just want to acknowledge

up, up top, because with all these icons, they're like such a part of our brains. They're burned in there. We kind of just take it for granted that they've always been there. But just, with Arnold, I want to acknowledge like he entered a late 70s movie landscape that was coming off of like the Auteur movement and was ruled by actors like

Robert De Niro, Al Pacino, Dustin Hoffman, who are like these normal sized to tiny men who were method actors and like disappear into their roles. And he came along and just like does the complete opposite. His roles

disappear into him he's the only actor I can remember who used the same catchphrase in multiple movies that's actually something Gabris I wanted to ask like is was did any of the other action heroes like keep bringing back

like he said I'll be back in so many different And then they get to a point Arnold understands where his bread is buttered like he'll just go on late night talk shows and say like I'll be back and like you're terminated he'll say like what he knows what to do

he's not precious about what he's says. And you got to imagine if you're like the writer or director of these other movies and he's like taking your iconic line. You're like, I guess it belongs to Arnold now. And he's just his name. Whatever the fuck he wants. Yeah. The brand was strong with him. I also think it has to do with who like obviously it's who he was. He's like this outsized charismatic cartoon of masculinity. But also like where America was at the time. One of my favorite details of his movies that you guys underline a lot in action boys is that he always made

the most sense in a mall which was like the most American location of the era but like he fights in malls and like raw deal commando a terminator to jingle all the way is like nonstop that kindergarten cop opens in a mall true lies has a horse

chase through a mall um it's just like a venture hotel yes you know he is such a weird unique figure but also like as I was researching this, I kept being reminded of the Lobowski quote, like, sometimes there's

a man, you know, who's the man for his time. And like, he really was. He was so foreign and then became, like, landed in America. He was so foreign in the way he looked and the way he sounded and even like his hobbies

and perspective. And then he fucking got America on board with him. Yeah. Like, you know, like he didn't shake. He, there's no fucking way you would still have an accent in year 50 in America if you like if you actually tried you wouldn't need it but no he kept it we adapted for Arnold we changed movies so that Arnold had a

place in them we were like yeah Arnold can't play Serpico but he can fucking play Conan yeah you know what I mean like he he changed culture to make like to set it up or we changed culture because we were like we love this fucking save us Ross ubermensch. Yeah, I do, so there are definitely some, like, fascist vibes that people have pointed out throughout his career. And it's coming along at a time in America where, like, Jimmy Carter had made the, like, American Malay's speech. And everyone's like, fuck that. That's boring.

And then Ronald Reagan was the answer to that. So his career, like, kind of starts to make sense. in that context, but just on the subject of fascism, something I hadn't realized is that his dad was a Nazi soldier during World War II.

It was like part of the invasion of Leningrad. Yeah. Which... He made it out. Yeah. And for for Miles's first time playing the role of Arnold, I just I put a quote in the in the chat that I just

want to have you read. This is Arnold describing his father's status as a Nazi soldier. When my father arrived in Leningrad, he was all pumped up on the lies of his government. He describes being a Nazi as being pumped up.

He still gets to jam his brand in there. Yeah, exactly. He's talking about the dark history in which I come from. I will say like, you know me, I'm going to always apologize for Nazis. that's the other reason we wanted to have you on here

other perspectives but I really like Arnold talks about it he says like and he was wrong and it was awful and like all this shit and like

it is that crazy thing where you're like what can we hold the sins of the father to the child like right and it's like he got the fuck out of there

and he you know and he talks about it he brings it up and he talks about in his book and in like recent posts, as the world is falling apart, he's talked about, like, what the people were like before and after joining up with the movement. And they're like, people are fucked up from

having been part of, you know what I mean? It's like, right, right, right. He's like, guys, everyone out here who's like, yes, let's fucking, you know, kick Somalians out of Minnesota, it's going to be bad for you eventually. This is like, this doesn't bode well for anybody. It's not like there yeah it's not like saying i used to be the construction worker in the village people right i mean sure thanks to stick around psychologically a little bit more so what one thing like yes he he has spoken on that there were a lot of allegations of nazism throughout his career uh dino de larentis didn't want to hire him for conan telling director john millius i don't like schwarzenegger he's a nazi and then u.s news of the world tabloid once claimed he was

secretly pro-Nazi. The writer of that article then admitted the source was Sylvester Stallone, which we're going to get into how he did and, like, childish that rivalry was. Holy shit. The one thing is that he did say in an old interview that he admired Hitler, but then he did the thing that all people who say that did. He said, I didn't admire him for what he did with it. I admired his public speaking,

which these Republican guys, like, can't help but admire, like, I look back and I see a raiding. I could probably rip out of like 10 or 12 good public speakers before I have to get to like, the leader of the Nazi movement, the architect of the Holocaust.

I could probably find a couple of people before that, that, before I look back and I see a raving lunatic, and they're always like, I mean, you can't deny the guy's fucking star. Right. I don't think so.

Yeah. You act to the fucking gills with the absolute worst POV and people are like, you know, he's like, but, you know, but you got to admit. It was good. I'm like, I think I would name Miss Teen South Carolina from 2007 as a better public speaker before I said Hitler. How about fucking Johnny Carson? There's got to be a less harmful guy to look to for public speaking. Yeah. Although there is like these really critical.

crazy behind the scene photos of Hitler, like hitting his poses, hitting his angles. And like he was a studied like poser essentially like. And so maybe that's that's what Arnold saw in him at that early age. I will just say. Arnold also an elite level poser. Like he literally made his, he was a champion poser. Yeah, we're about to get into that. But I will just say in terms of like the fascist iconography, like he is like a marble statue. come to life and like he like we've talked before about how like one of the aesthetic like details of fascism is like admiring the human form with like the sex removed like in starship troopers and like I do feel like that's kind of like they had to edit out like sex scenes

and stuff like that from a lot of his movies because like he just doesn't that's not what people were there for I guess yeah well it is that weird like bodybuilder thing where it's like It's four guys in a way, you know what I mean? More than it is. But I always found it really funny in all his movies when women are like, oh, my God. And he's so sexy. But he looks like an insane freak. Like he's got an insane body.

And if that's the thing you like. But when women are like, oh, dear God, it's like he has de cups that are rock hard. I don't know how you're into that. Where is he had in his cycle? But it is weird because, yeah, there is like that secular in like that fascist, like, it's like he's powerful his output is tremendous and no no connotations of sex but hit Arnold himself legendary horny freak yeah yeah exactly like problematically we'll get to yes yes very probably Brazil video is the most any human has ever inhabited the role of Lenny

from of mice and men like it's just like Jesus get that guy get all of those people out of there. But in terms of like the fascist element of his iconography and like how he appeared to people at the time, the other main source besides action boys that I've dug into for this was the book, The Last Action Heroes. And they pointed out that the opening to Commando with him like chopping down trees and carrying an entire tree trunk on his shoulders, like that whole sequence was consciously pulling images from Lenny Riefenstahl's like, Nazi propaganda films. Jesus Christ.

They were just like, you know what would work really well with this guy? I mean, just size this guy up really. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't think that was his idea. They were just like, that makes sense. And that is what America, like America has, inside America, it's much less appreciated, like how much right-wing American culture has in common with a lot of, like, you know, fascist imagery and ideology.

Yeah, and for some reason. I'll tell you, one of my theories is somehow we talk about this lot on action boys, I was raised pretty much exclusively on movies that are about like extrajudicial killings, the government, powerful people are the answer to everything, send one guy into this. Yeah, a cop is the best job. You do internal affairs or pieces of shit. Send one guy with a gun into a country full of minorities and fix it. You know, like, yeah, yeah.

To be a 15-year-old kid with an opinion on internal affairs just means, like, I'm watching the wrong fucking movies. I wanted to be fucking swat with a perspective that, you know, cares about my fellow man. But I'm assuming all these people in power all grew up on the same bullshit as me, but didn't find it as entertainment and found it as like inspo. And we're like, actually, we do need a John Matrix to go to Val Verde and clean it up with a fucking bazooka with a four quad bazooka. So the way he initially appeared on the world stage was by winning 19 bodybuilding competitions, including Mr. Europe, Mr. Universe, and then Mr. Olympia, Mr. Olympia being essentially the Jeopardy Tournament of Champions for Mr. Universe winners. But he did and, like, openly admits that he built his body with the aid of steroids.

He says, I have no regrets about it, because at the time it was something new that came on the market. He wasn't the only guy at these bodybuilding shows doing it. Yeah, exactly. It was legal. Like, everybody was doing it. openly. It was like cocaine, you know? In the 70s, everyone was like, this is kind of like coffee. This is like our new coffee. We should bring this onto more movie sets. But this one also makes me go to the bathroom a lot, too.

Same deal, yeah. He did veto. Like when he was governor, there were people who were not thrilled that he was pretty lax on the performance enhancing stuff and called the supplement safe. I have to, like, I don't know. So I once heard from someone that, like, they worked with him in the 90s and swore, like, at the time he was, like, bright yellow and on dialysis, like, when he was with them and, like, that they were just like, yeah, that's how you got through the, like, intense steroid cycles. There's no known reporting on that. And the guy also later told me that he thought his girlfriend at the time may have slept with Arnold behind his back. So he might be motivated. but he has had like multiple open heart surgeries

which he always goes out of his way to be like it's a congenital condition but I don't know that steroids are not and yes he has done them but if you remove steroids from it carrying around that much extra mass even if it is pure muscle is difficult on the human body like maintaining that caloric input

he's putting a lot of miles on his body I mean, I knew, like, big guys don't live that long, but when I saw Dave Batista be like, dude, I have to stop and, like, really be like, I'm done and, like, watching him shrink and being like, no, it's so I can live. Like, being fucking jacked is, it's a fucking very, very short timeline you have living like that forever. I mean, it is interesting, just like talking about the thing that, like, earlier we were saying that, like, he comes along with this UberMensch physicality at a time that America is like, maybe. fascism is kind of what we do in the 80s and then like once we got back to that point like in the past eight to 10 years all of a sudden the actors started looking like john sina and the rock and uh dave batista again so yeah everyone's sorry oh yeah i could go off for hours about this but like why why why does fucking superman even have to be jacked he's an alien like like like

like there's like Hulk has super strength he could have a belly like there's like thor someone the people like their superpowers aren't even involved like with physicality and they're still shredded it's like maybe what do you do yeah yeah maybe the best example of that uh which we'll get to in a in a moment is the terminator who went in the script was supposed to be a normal sized normal shape of person supposed to blend into yeah the idea it's like uh yeah to your point like the modern equivalent is that movie the gray man that nobody saw but it costs like 250 million so they had to pretend like everyone saw it

but it's like these are guys who just the literal title is you have these spies who are gray men who the whole point is like they blend in wherever they go

and it's played by Chris Evans and Ryan Gosling and they're both like shredded beautiful people who like would stop traffic and when you see pictures

of real fucking the crazy spies and assassins like that are CIA and J-Soc guys, they all look like chemists. They're all like 5-8-165 with like glasses and like weird

teeth. And you're like, who the fuck is this guy? He's like 650 confirmed kills. They're like, what the fuck? I'm a Delta operator. Like an airline? No. One other quick Arnold anecdote, and if you guys have any, but

somebody I know was golfing with him a couple years ago and as they were teeing off. He kept telling the guy he looked like two tense and too uptight. And then after the guy hit the shot, he, Arnold got up to the tea and was like, when was the last time you had a blow job? And the guy was like, I don't know, like answered. And Arnold teed off and said, that's fantastic. And then as he like crushed his drive with a big stogie in his mouth and like watched his ball, he said, how did it taste? So awesome. Got his ass.

I do think the posing, like you were saying, the hitting the angles, like, that is something that he studied all along. And I think that definitely like played into his being a movie. Subtle performances. Yeah. Knowing how to appear on film was something that like he was always good at. Like in Conan, you see it a lot because it's like, it's like pre-verbal for him. And the movie is like written to that strength. But then he also trained with a sword master for that movie, too.

And because he's an athlete and like a guy who's got like that that kind of focus that requires eating white rice, chicken and broccoli and steroids exclusively. He fucking looks awesome when he's swinging the sword, when he's carrying the wheel of pain. He fucking and it's like he knows. I referred to this once on the blank check podcast, but my pet theory is we've heard of the male gaze and, you know, people talk about the female gays. there's something about Arnold that is the child gaze. Like you look at him and you're like in awe and you're like a little kid and you're like that's what grownups are, you know? And then all these action movies will copy it.

They'll all be these poses where you're looking up at these imposing figures and they're bigger than ever. Yeah. Yeah. I think that's exactly right. Like I have, yeah, I have written in here somewhere that he looks like he was designed by a seven year old to be like this is what a action hero should look like. Yeah.

This is what I want to look like when I go. grow up like when you used to draw like I would remember being a kid drawing myself as like a grown up and like I would always have like a headband and a machine gun I was like I think movies broke my brain I'm gonna definitely grow up and be a special forces probably yeah I'm gonna drive a bulletproof Chevy suburban so you broke into the world of film with Hercules in New York where he had to be totally dubbed by another actor for obvious reasons they changed his name to Arnold Strong but the only reason he got that role in the first place was Joe Weider, the co-founder

of the International Federation of Bodybuilders, pulled the producers that Schwarzenegger had been a Shakespearean actor in Vienna. They're like, all right, like, sure. And then he showed up. And again, it's like, you know, you need to tell that lie

to get him in the door. But then he shows up and everyone's like, this guy actually like really fucking works on film. I don't know what it is. The movie is not great. His dub is weird, but he, you're watching him. you're like, this dude's a fucking star. There's not a time where you don't say that early on in his career. It's like undeniable.

Like, you can't take your eyes off him. And he is really charismatic in sort of like the annoying jock way. But like he's got it like, he's got it all taste. Yeah, exactly. You know, he's got it all figured out. Yeah. He also appears in like I didn't realize that I was watching the long goodbye, Robert Altman.

Yes. The long goodbye. He shows how he's like a Jack Trenchman and that. He's in a movie called Stay Home. Hungry that was like an Oscar Buzzy movie that earned him a Golden Globe for Best Acting debut, even though it wasn't really his debut, but it was like the first time that awards people had noticed it. Or he spoke, maybe. Yeah, it was the first time he had actually spoken on film. He also at this time worked with a very serious acting coach who in the book

The Last Action Heroes talks about how he was like eventually very impressed with his work. he did like all the Stanaslovsky and shit like this is the second invocation of the Stanaslowski method with Erkel yeah no with Miss Piggy actually like how

Frank Oz came up with her backstory was like just writing free hand dark backstory dark backstory dark backstory for Miss Piggy you got to I believe it I got to imagine based on how how powerful she's become

she came from a lot she came from a hard background it's like her mom had so many pigs what was it like her mom like her mother had too many pigs that she never developed her mind was one of the things and then she had so many pigs she'd never developed her mind and her dad was like fucking around and then like the only way for her to like survive was like winning beauty contests um and she was like i'll never go back there i think there was like a mass killing too in there but i don't remember um but uh he said

the guy the acting coach specifically like called out two impressive moments in the workshop that I thought we're funny. One is where he inhabits the body of a child opening a present on Christmas morning. And he said he made the other people in the acting class cry. Whoa. Just trying to picture Arnold like doing that. This is 100% alive. But it's fucking that's odd.

I'm picturing it now and trying. So I'm like tear up laughing. I know. I'm even trying to imagine what would that performance look like where I'm so touched. Like even without even it being Arnold. with an adult doing this. Yeah. Like what would they be doing?

This guy who's just been like presumably like hitting on every woman nonstop and this guy suddenly. Spaghetti string racer back tank top on with like his nipples and trap showing and he's got like cut off Gold's gym super shorts on barefoot just going like

I don't want the booster I want terrible man. Oh you got me another empty bottle of wine. He gets it something he would do in like twins and like some of those movies where he like plays an innocent, you know, just kind of like, yeah, I don't know, like new to the world. And then the other that he said was like really impressive was where he like did this non-linguistic growl and utterant, like you invoke an animalistic, non-linguistic growl and

utterance and screams, which sounds like it's like the, when I think of Arnold, I just think of, uh, uh, yeah, you know, like all those like noises that he makes. Yeah, and that's so funny that he crushed that part of the acting class. They're like, damn, this guy can and he also really did great in the max bench press portion of the Stanasaw's in that. He smote it 700 pounds.

But he does also like kind of become a Christmas icon. And it's interesting to note that like the only movie he ever directed, he directed an episode of the Tales from the Crypt and then also a made-for-team. like Hallmark Christmas remake of Christmas in Connecticut. So he's, there's something with Christmas there that we'll probably never get to explore.

I feel like Germany, Europe, Poland, Eastern Europe, Vienna, like, that's Austria. It's very, like Christmas.

Yeah, it's like the- everyone says like the Christmas markets in Austria specifically are like, everyone models like, whenever you see like a Christmas market, they're all referencing like Austrian, German Christmas markets. And so,

of your most precious white female friends will tell you that I just want to go to Vienna for Christmas. I'm like, really? Like, I don't know anything about it. I want to go to Mexico. Dude, it's wild because my cousin just married someone who's from Austria and he'd been, he's like, dude, Austria is fucking sick. And everyone I know who's been there's like, dude, Vienna's fucking sick. Yeah, it's got to be. Well, yeah, I think it's because like the buildings are so old. How bad did it be? Shout out twins real quick. That was the, uh, I heard in an, interview on Nerdist where he was back in the day, that's the most amount of money

he's ever made on a movie. Yeah, that like set him up financially for the syndication. No, because they didn't want to make it because like Arnold can't carry a comedy. So Arnold, Danny DeVito, and I think it's Reitman. They all say, they all worked

for scale if with huge amount of points and then the movie was an absolute, massive hit. And they all made insane money on it. it, which just makes me so happy. Also, Arnold was already doing very well for himself because when he arrived in America, him and Franco Colombo, another bodybuilder, they were doing masonry work and doing all this like labor, but he invested his bodybuilding winnings in like an apartment

complex first, like somewhere on the west side of L.A. So American. He was a so American. Someone told like an American businessman, maybe someone in his team or something like that said, this is what you got to do and then he like owned a bunch of properties for a while I'm like buying that in 1970s LA you know if you held on to it until now you're fucking like robber baron that's so that makes sense you know that like there's a clip from a couple years ago where he tried to make a joke about making a million dollars that fell so flat like on a radio show and now it makes sense to me because he was he was making some landlord ass money like to start up I don't know if you've seen this clip but he's like well that easy as

way to make money. The first, the most important thing is, you know, everyone tells you that the first million is the hardest to make. So start with the second million. Right. Uh-huh. Wow. Hello.

It was supposed to be funny, guys. Wake up. Wake up. I thought we have a breakfast show here. You need to get pumped up. Any time the joke falls. Get pumped up off the lives of your government. Wow.

Okay. So, anyway, that makes, that's. because that's such rich guy humor too when you're like it's not an awful joke I would say if you're hosting Arnold on your show you got to laugh at his jokes

I'm sorry I think the job I bet you Arnold never does that show again I think they probably just couldn't connect like his delivery they're like oh humor joke yes thank you

Miles didn't pause that in the middle that silence was him just looking at them waiting for them and you're like oh it must the video must be over Then he goes, hello? And you're like, oh, my God. This is a breakfast show?

You got, he's wake up. Have you ever listened to those true crime shows and found yourself with more questions than answers? And what is this? How is that not a story we all know? What's this? Where is that? Why is it wet? Boy, do we have a show for you?

From Smartless Media, Campside Media, and Big Money Players, comes crimeless. Join me, Josh Dean, investigative journalists. And me, Roy Scoville, comedian, as we celebrate the amazing creativity of the world's dumbest criminals. We'll look into some of the silliest ways folks have broken the laws.

Honestly, it feels more like a high-level prank than a crime. Who catfishes a city? And meets some memorable anti-heroes. There are thousands of angry, horny monkeys. Clap, if you think, she's a witch. And it freaks you out. X-ray vision. How could I not follow it? Honestly, I got to follow me. He can see right

through me. Listen to Crimless on the IHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. I'm Stefan Curry, and this is Gentleman's Cut. I think what makes Gentleman's Cut different is me being a part of developing the profile of this beautiful finished product. With every sip, you get a little something different. Visit Gentleman'scuttuburn.com or your nearest total wines or Bevmo. This message is intended for audiences 21 and older. Gentleman's Cut Bourbon, Boone County, Kentucky. For more on Gentleman's Cut Bourbon, please visit

gendelmanscut bourbon.com. Please enjoy responsibly. Dad had the strong belief that the devil was attacking us. Two brothers, one devout household, two radically different paths. Gabe Ortiz became one of the highest-ranking law enforcement officers in Texas. 32 years, total law enforcement experience. But his brother Larry, he stayed behind and built an entirely different legacy.

He was the head of this gang, and nobody was going to tell him what to do. You're going to push that line for the calls. Took us under his wing and showed us the game, as they call it. When Larry is murdered, Gabe is forced to confront the past he tried to leave behind and uncover secrets he never saw coming. My dad had a whole other life that we never knew about. Like, my mom started screaming my dad's name, and I just heard, One gunshot.

The Brothers Ortiz is a gripping true story about faith, family, and how two lives can drift so far apart and collide in the most devastating way. Listen to the Brothers Ortiz on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Who would you call if the unthinkable happened? I just fell and started screaming. If you lost someone you loved in the most horrific way. I sit through y'all 22 times. The police, right?

But what if the person you're supposed to go to for help is the one you're the most afraid of? This dude is the devil. He's a snake. He'll hurt you. I got you. I got you. I got you. I got you. And this is The Girlfriends, Untouchable.

Detective Roger Golubski spent decades intimidating and sexually abusing black women across Kansas City, using his police badge to scare them into silence. This is the story of a detective who seemed above the law until we came together to take him down. I told Roger Galoopsky, I said, you're going to see my face till the day that you die. Listen to the girlfriends, untouchable,

on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. but just overall like the thing about him investing the money smartly like according to everyone he is a sponge who's like constantly focused on learning like mchteran in predator like cast carl weathers because he's like that's the best action movie actor that i've seen and he's like i'm going to put him in arnold's way and arnold will just like drink up and learn from him him. And so he is essentially, like the, he is a Terminator. He's just this like super processing

computer. I'm a little. You asshole. Dylan, you son of a bitch. What do you got to put your pencils down in the CIA? And thank you for teaching me how to act. All of that, all of the early work, though, from Hercules in New York and his background work was overshadowed by the massive success of a weightlifting documentary called Pumping Iron. God. Damn. Which is, it's easy to see why those movies weren't quite as successful because at no point in those movies does he get to say that weightlifting is like coming. And then Miles would like to read, uh, put this. Oh, wow.

It's a satisfying to me as coming is, you know, as having sex with a woman then coming. I love that he follows up the first sentence by clarifying what he's not even. I refuse to say it's jerking off. Yeah, I don't, it's gay to jerk off. I'm a, I'm a human woman and you're coming. And so can you believe how much I'm in heaven? I am like getting the feeling of coming in the gym. I'm getting the feeling of coming at home.

I'm getting the feeling of coming backstage when I pump up. When I pose in front of 5,000 people, I get the same feeling. So I'm coming day and night. I mean, it's, it's terrific, right? So, you know, I'm in heaven. So awesome. and he will later retract that and say like I was joking I knew I and I will I think he maybe actually believes this or believed it at the time but he also does know how to get sound bites

and how to fucking when you watch pumping iron it's a rosetta stone to like why anyone like why he's you just see he's so and he didn't play a villain a lot in his career but he is fucking nearly evil in pumping iron. He's like mustache twirling bad guy in a way. Like manipulating the people around him who are like his best friend, like lifelong best friends who are going to continue

working and like being his friend for the rest of his career. And he's like yeah, kind of fucked with his head to him into being worse than me. Right. There's the famous if it bleeds, they're making of Predator. It's like an hour long featureette. You can find it on YouTube. He had some crazy

ongoing prank or a competition with Jesse the body Ventura who could have bigger biceps and he had the wardrobe department keep taking in the biceps on the sleeves on Ventura's shirt so he thought he was getting pumped up but he wasn't

Oh to make him complacent basically? Yes and then they were doing they were doing a thing where they were competing so much who could work out more and earlier that eventually like they were like secretly opening the gym that they had shipped to South America to film like or to Mexico

wherever they I forget where they film. And they're like fucking like going in at 3.30 in the morning, 3 in the morning, 2.30, like racing to see who when you go to the gym who's already there working out. It's like that's so fucking funny. That's like childish behavior over like, and these are all people who are like making millions. It's so awesome. Right. Right. That's so funny. Yeah. That set. And I mean, that movie is both like when I first saw it, this did not hit me. But it is like a satire of masculinity and like they're you know shooting at this alien and like completely you know unloading

clips into the jungle and like just impotently you know yeah and they're all like they're all like dry shaving their face uh taking their shirts off knives um their uh limped dick f slurs before and then like you know like everything everything about that movie and also arguably like sort of anti-American interventionism too. It's like when we arrive there, they end up, like, they're like hunting with an alien, but they, the CIA does get them to like blow up a fucking full base full of locals. Like there's no explanation as to like what the local dynamics are or whatever. And it's like, it's such a, it's a more, there's so much more going on in that movie than

you think. And then the idea that like, this is the second team that they send in and the first team just got fucking murked and none of them know about that. like the most fucking disposable American soldier shit ever. Yeah, yeah. It was almost like they were making a commentary that going in and intervening in a jungle could go badly for America. Yeah.

I don't know where they were getting that from. I don't know where they were pulling that from. All right. So his first truly iconic role is Conan. Like, he's the titular role in Conan. I love this fucking movie so much. Came about thanks to pumping iron. The director, John Milius, says that Arnold said,

treat me like a trained dog, which again, going back to it, he's just like, I don't give a phone, just tell me anything and I'll do it. He would like get cut and like there would be like, he'd be bleeding and he'd be like, does it look good? How am I posing? And then they would just like keep rolling with it. Moving along with the like fascist stuff, it's about an alpha male who battles hippies essentially. The script was by Oliver Stone, but then it was like whittled way down and directed by Millius who calls himself

a Zen fascist. Zen fascist. And Arnold said he's so far to the right that he wasn't even a Republican a.

A.k. ahead of his time, I guess. So this becomes like one of his first roles that's so iconic that people just start calling him that.

Like when you read about when Cameron's trying to cast him in Terminator, people are like, you're going to cast Conan in Terminator. And then like

after, after Terminator, people are like, you can't put Terminator in the, you know, but like he's, he's choosing his roles pretty wisely. If you zoom out, yeah, if you zoom out and see that this guy who is this physical specimen, but is not quite there English wise or acting wise. Yeah. You cast him as a nearly silent tribal warrior who fucking kills a bunch of people with swords. And then you're like, okay, what else can he do? He's like, how about a robot? Robot. You're like, oh, okay, yeah, fuck it, great. Like, just the idea of, like, like, what a way to, like, fucking make your way into the huge movies that were huge because of him, too.

And, but he gets to just, they're like, okay, and this, like, that'd be like, all right, in this, you're playing a fat New York podcaster, Gabor's. This is your first job. Like, I hope you can pull it off. You're like, fuck, yeah. You're from Long Island. Uh, huh, huh, huh, okay, I think I can do this. Which exit off the L-I-E, though. 25 South?

Perfect. it's actually two away from mine so we're going to need a rewrite but so Cameron didn't originally have Arnold in mind for the Terminator as we were saying he wanted Lance Henrickson for the role who played Bishop which is like it's such a profoundly different movie but like it makes more sense on paper because yeah why would the robot need to be shredded and have an Austrian accent if it be enormous and like he would not blend at all he can all and like it makes no sense, yeah. But it fucking works. I know. I was going to say, like, it, that version probably works because James Cameron, like, knows what he's doing. But there's no arguing that it would

have worked as well as it does with Arnold. No, and he got his Lance Hendrickson type with the T-1000. Right. That guy, uh, Robert Patrick. Robert Patrick and Lance Harrison are constantly being confused in my head. So it's like, it's good casting. Right. Like, think, but also just like going back to the initial point, like, think about if, uh, brand editors, you know, like, think about if the T1, Thousand was yoked. Like, very sharp. Again. Right.

Another like a liquid body builder. Which is ripped. Because that juxtaposition made the T1,000 more terrifying. Yeah. Right. I mean. I love in interviews, it's going around again when Cameron said the reason he made a T1,000, a cop was because they kill indiscriminately. Don't give a fuck about humans and like all this stuff.

And he's like, what better disguise for a person to be able to do whatever they want to whoever they want and be awful? Like, hell yeah, can't. Yeah, yeah. So that's what, like, he, in Terminator 1, he was like, he, it's kind of good that he's foreign seeming because everybody's afraid of Russia. And Russia is like always the one that starts the nuclear war in both movies. They're just like, yeah, fucking Russia. But he didn't want to even meet with Schwarzenegger.

They made him. He was like, I'm going to like pick a fight with him, I guess, during lunch. And before he left, he told his friend, if it doesn't go well, you can have the chair and stereo, um, which I think is just a funny window into how big a deal stereos were for that generation. Yeah, it's like the highest or the most expensive thing in anyone's house. Yeah. Wait, I can take your Macintosh amplifier. Yeah. But Linda Hamilton was like, I'm a trained to Juilliard actor and this guy is Conan. Well, like this is a bad idea. Like this

will just be a blip on my career. And then she went and they weren't on camera a lot together and so she went and like watched one of the scenes where Arnold was like doing his thing in a parking garage and she was just like oh shit like he just like he knows how to like his physicality and like how he moves in that movie she was like this is actually going to work really well yeah and like his like lack of mobility right he moves very well in Conan like he's he's wheel you know he's leaping around wheel and stuff but he's a little stiff because he's a giant he's the Austrian oak, oak chest. And Terminator, it totally benefits him.

Quick aside about Terminator. Something we learned, figured out on Action Boys, or noticed on Action Boys, is that the entire premise of the Terminator movies require Linda Hamilton to let a time-traveling dirtbag, raw dogger. Like, she has to let Michael Bean fuck her wrong. Kyle Reese has to finish in her

in order for the Terminator movies to happen. And that's such a crazy. Thank God this guy who I think is a homeless lunatic. I'm going to let him fucking finish it. Or the world ends. Yeah. A cream pie saves the world. Sarah,

this guy Kyle kind of stinks. No, he's from the future. And I got to bang him to save the world, he said. Does she even know that at the part where they have, like, is she on board at that point?

No, I don't, she's on board with like maybe the reality of it. But she doesn't know, like, it's like they're a. about to make John Connor, which is such a funny specific because John Connor sent him

back. Did John Connor say like, hey, this is my mom. You have to be my dad. Yeah, you have to go fuck my mom. Yeah. Right. It's the opposite of Back to the Future. You have to go back and fuck my mom. I mean, it's a romantic scene. They're making pipe bombs.

He's like, I fell in love with you the second I saw that shitty photo of you from our son from the future. And then they have sex. It's fucking wild. But yeah, Cameron has said that for Terminator 2, you know,

obviously Arnold's character suddenly becomes the hero. But he was initially meeting with Cameron to play the Michael Bean role, which does make more sense because like if it's a human, they have to be strong. Yeah, they're sending back to the human you would send back. Yeah. You'd send back a human that looks like Arnold

to fight a Terminator that looks like Michael Bean. But I think Arnold just inherently understood like this is what I would be. good at. And then at a deep animalistic level, my name will be the name of the movie. I'll be playing the titular character. And I'll

get to kill a lot of people, which we're about to get into, was important to him. I feel like there's like some part of his brain that is, like the same part of the people's brains that were like, when you take a picture of someone, you capture their soul like when photography.

Like he really like placed a lot of weight on like how many people he got to kill in movies. And you know, can't beat that with regards of the Terminator. But yeah, Cameron has come out and said, like, the reason a cop is a cop is a bad guy in T2 is cops think all non-cops

are less than they are stupid, weak, and evil. They dehumanize the people. They are sworn to protect and desensitize themselves in order to do that job, which fucking rules. Okay. So Schwarzenegger came away from reading the script for Terminator 2 with like a worried look on his face

and Cameron's like, well, what? This is fucking perfect. And he was like, I just like, don't get to kill anyone in the script. That was his, he was like bummed that he didn't get to kill anyone. Oh, man. Like, this is, this was a big deal to him because I, like, it was one of the pieces, like, one of the pieces of data that was like, kept track of in his rivalry with Stallone. Back at Cracked, we like once made a video counting all the kills in Commando.

And that was by design, you know, the scene where he's just like going into the, into Valverde, yeah. Valverde and just like mowing people down. Yeah, but then like there are parts where it's just like five seconds of just like him shooting like waves and waves of like indiscriminate bad guys. They do the ultimate cut,

the ultimate like 80s action movie cut where you see Arnold spray in M60 like 50 times. Then it cuts to 50 guys just leaping out of different cover like oh we all got hit in that one. It's awesome. They added that scene because I think it's one or the other. He had just seen Rambo

too, and I think that's what it was. He had seen Rambo 2 and was like, he got like a lot of, he killed a lot of people in that movie. And so they like added scenes. They were literally taking extras who had just been shot and like spirit gumming a mustache onto their face to like differentiate

them from, and then just being like, get back out there to be killed again. Oh, that's so awesome. Oh man. For all the hating, so Stallone should have taken the role of Terminator because wasn't he offered the role? Like didn't Stallone turned down the Terminator role?

Yeah. So the Stallone episode is going to be crazy. Like, they're, their rivalry. So let's get into their rivalry. Are you guys doing a Stalin episode? Allow me to say, I'll be back. Hey, don't I got rights. Hey, listen to not, don't I got rights. Hey, good. Hey, I'll be back.

Three C-Shows. Three podcast shows. I assume that like the rivalry between the two of them was like made up in my child mind, you know, because they were like the two big strong guys. But it was not. I want to tell the stopper, my mom will shoot. Yes. We're going to go? Hell, yeah.

Yes. But this is a quote from Arnold, Miles, that just appeared in the... Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is from Arnold. Yes. We were movie rivals, but we took the competitiveness to the extreme. We tried to have the best body. We had to kill more people in our films.

And we had to have the biggest guns. Yeah. Wow. They were counting. and like literal dick measuring cutts and truly they were just keeping tabs on how many people they killed and like Stallone was on Letterman's

and after a while I started to like competition this one-upsmanship he'd get a bigger gun I'd shoot more people he'd shoot more people and so I think probably definitively and Gaboris I want to get your official scholar's opinion on this but I feel like Schwarzenegger won right like his movies did better

than Stallone's and it's all there's just the Rocky one in Oscar that's true so there's like this one thing that that Schwarzenegger doesn't have that Rocky had that Stallone had Schwarzenegger probably doesn't give a shit about that right doesn't matter because he was like governor like you know what I mean like he he won like a million times over yeah and I think history will be kinder to Schwarzenegger than Stallone to Stallone has maybe more duds in his but Stallone has always been a little bit more of an artist than Arnold, too.

Like Stallone wants to be Robert De Niro. Right. Arnold wants to be Superman, not the actor. Right. Literally be Superman. But I think you're right. I think the competition, I also think we're talking about two guys who come across is really dumb, but are probably a little more savvy than they.

Yes, for sure. And I think they understand K-Fabe and a rivalry between two big guys. will benefit both of them kind of you know what I mean and so then they get to make the escape plan and we all go and it's like it's like heat it's like dumb heat

you know what you're like 15 years too late I do like the dream casting in my mind and I don't know if I would want to change a perfect film but it does seem like

if they had been able to get over the rivalry and make Schwarzenegger Ivan Drago like that it would have broken the world like that that movie already did incredibly well

for a movie that is like I think 40% montage yeah right but you know like that that would have fucking destroyed people's brains yeah Arnold's like and you see it with some of the big actors now where their ego gets in their way of like interesting choices

like where it's just like I can't have sly beat me up and it's like but right okay it would have been cool yeah literally everyone in the world would have seen it but yeah and you would have gotten one more kill than him in that movie. Yeah, you got to kill your boy fucking Carl Weathers.

That's right. It just wasn't properly pitched to him. Do you think there's any backstory to like, I feel like the movie posters for Cobra and Terminator are very similar? You know, like where Terminator is like he's got like a gun like this. Cobra Stallone is also doing it with like a red background. He's got a bigger gun though. He doesn't have a pistol. He has like a little MP5.

Yeah. Exactly. And I'm like, hold on, bro. Are you really going for the exact same? composition of a movie poster and Cullen, it's like, no, it also has those weird like techno vibe, like the, aren't there like those music video

shoots in there that kind of look like a poor man version of? Christine Nielsen is like shooting music videos with robot. Right. So I want to talk about Brigitte Nielsen in a second because she started out working with Arnold and I

feel like this is a good kind of summation of who they were. So Arnold and Brigitte Nielsen co-starred in one of the Conan films and like her quote on it is like the set lights wouldn't be out and we'd be off fucking each other we like the way we did

every single thing to each other's body that reads like a romance novel and then Stallone goes on to marry her and like tightly control her career and like she couldn't be in anything that he wasn't involved with and then when she was finally in Beverly Hills cop two he called Eddie Murphy and accused him

of sleeping with her. Like, it just seems like he's, like, fueled by insecurity. And Arnold is just this, like, bounding, confident puppy. Fucking, yeah, he's like a giant golden retriever with his lipstick out. Yeah.

Right. Yeah. Oh, that's actually, Arnold and Brigitte hit it off in Red Sonia, which is not a Conan movie. Red Sonia is Red Sonia. And then Arnold plays exactly a character like Conan, but named like a name's something different. Yeah. And it's just like,

yes we can't legally call him conan but he's a barbarian who fucks a chick with a sword in this movie yes and he also they he said that they shot him from like three different angles in every shot that he was on so like they could just like stretch the footage as much as possible he was just like i don't really want to do this and they're like yeah no you're just here for a couple days and then they're like he's actually the star of the movie but yeah so the one thing that arnold always had the ability to do which is weird because he doesn't like seem like that funny of a person necessarily but he could always do comedy and that drove Stallone crazy and so in 1992 he decided to fuck with Stallone this is and tell him that uh the movie

stopper my mom will shoot that script was going around and he said that uh he read the script it was a piece of shit let's be honest i say to myself i'm not going to do this movie then they went to Sly and Sly called me. Have they ever talked to you about doing this movie? And here I'm going to give you the quote, Miles, so you can read it. And I said, yes, I was thinking about doing it. This is a really brilliant

idea of the movie. When they heard that because he was in the competition, he said, whatever it takes, I'll do the movie. And of course, the movie went major into the toilet. Went major into the toilet. Went major into the toilet. So awesome.

That movie is fucking bad. and weird. You don't just cover the good ones on action boys. We haven't done Oscar yet, which is Sly's other attempt at comedy that fucking failed hard. Yeah, Arnold just has a better sense of humor, even about himself,

which I think is like the thing that makes him better. The rock doesn't have that. Like none of our modern, maybe Sina does, but none of our modern people have that about themselves. Like everyone's too self-serious or like worried that, you know, like that 90s toxic mess.

masculinity mentality of like, well, if I made fun of myself, then everyone knows I'm a bitch. Well, okay. Then I might become gay or something. Yeah, someone will think I'm gay if Kevin Hart mocks me in a movie. No, I should rip Kevin Hart in half in this movie. Predator, I think arguably his best movie, I don't know, T2 is probably my favorite of his movies, but it's a really great movie. His muscles are used for comedy.

and like that that also gets to the question of like does how much is he aware of it and how much is he just willing to let himself be used by directors in the way that like he like kind of finds the right people to work with and then lets him do their job whereas that seems to be the exact opposite of Celeste Stallone gets like guys that he can bully and be in charge of and stuff like that he fires the initial director and then gets like some guy who he can just like put him more or less yeah and yeah Arnold's strong suit is like a trust in directors and like a ability to go like, I don't fully understand what I'm saying in this scene, but you just tell me how to say phonetically and I'll get it out. Yes. And then you watch sly movies and realize like English what was Sylvester Sloan's first language. I mean, he sounds like that. He sounds like that and English is the only language they spoke in his life. The only other detail I learned about Predator in this from J.M. is that they had a problem with their water filtration system. The cast got sick.

And as far as I know, this is the only Arnold Schwarzenegger movie in which he shit his pants during the filming. And I bring that up only because I have a loose theory because that's also true of Harrison Ford and Raiders of the Lost Ark. All the all the desert films are filmed while he's like running off to shit his brains out because he was like incredibly sick. also true of the most iconic moment of Michael Jordan's career. I'm just saying like when you have to when you have to like focus your mind on not

shitting your pants. I'm keeping your butt hole tight and not leaking. Yeah, yeah. You do some pretty iconic work. We don't know like it's not it's also not something that like Einstein would have said like you know when I came up with the equals MC squared I was shitting my. Oh my God. Shitting the back out of my butt and up pants.

It wasn't just a loose theory is a loose stool that led to it all. It's a really, yeah, I mean, that's inspired me, Jack. I think next week I'm going to do, we'll do the diarrhea episodes to see if that changes my performance here on the pod. Theory of diureativity. Yeah. Sorry. Dyerrelativity.

Kindergarten cop gave us the soundboard, which I do think is like one of the most iconic things about his career. I think it reinvigorated him in a weird way. Yes. And it really made him in, like, crystallized, like a joke version. of Arnold that then he got to like push against by becoming a politician

like it was like there's like this weird thing where this is like he's a household joke with the fucking soundboard which we were all obsessed with shout out ebaum's world for giving me like fucking six years of fucking joy and Howard Stern is where I first heard it too but then

he survives becoming like that much of a fucking joke somehow which is just crazy that's impossible. This soundboard still exists, dude. Who is your daddy and what does he do? Who is your daddy? I want to ask you a bunch of questions.

Uh-huh. I have them answered immediately. Who is your daddy and what does he do? For people who don't know what this is, are yoga listeners? Like, it was just, it's like a pool string toy, but like, you know, you can, like, hit everything and it, like, gives you all these different lines

from Schwarzenegger, and it was used for a great, like, prank call effect on many a radio show. and um but i i also think like something uh i think it was rogers set on action boys that i thought was really smart is that both as a movie star and like just how we thought of him he's just an action figure that you like dress up in different things and like make do different things and like that's why i think the soundboard works so well is because it's basically the pool string toy for like pre-internet shit posters where you can just like use arnold quotes to just like do whatever like use it as many times as you want and there's no scene where he's uh a child

opening up a package making the audience cry watching the movie like everything he says is like weirdly ah ah you know and it's like right right right dude my favorite one was he called the gator lodge was one where he's like confuses this old woman Those are the best videos, or I guess they were just, you know, audio clips at the time. But I think like to your point, it really was sonically Arnold Schwarzenegger's just in your subconscious on this in this way that you also got excited at the idea that someone was just laughing in your face playing blatantly Arnold Schwarzenegger's talent bites. And they're like, who is this? And they're like, Detective John Kimball, you fucking idiot. It's Detective John Kimball, you idiot.

You idiot. You idiot. okay hey Bennett let off some steam yeah number when I told you I'd kill you last I lied my friend is dead tired

commando commando is the most full of those like if you're like commando and kindergarten cop yeah yeah kindergarten cop is the one that like has so many of my favorite kindergarten cop like weirdly

is one of the ones that kind of looms the largest in my memory other than Terminator 2 like Terminator 2 is the most burnt on my brain movie of my life but kindergarten cop just really like every review when you go back and look

is like this really shouldn't work why does this work but it like really fucking does. The bad guy is like too scary for like a movie that also features children and Arnold like it's like also it's like our first time we see Arnold in a beard right

like I'm a big fan of Arnold with facial hair and he has a fake beard in the beginning of that movie and those weird little like fucking shooter glasses. It's like very it's that is that was Jack, I kind of get what you're saying because we were young when we saw it. Exactly. It was kind of like, you know, the other movies were like grown up movies, but this felt like a movie that we were like allowed to see. And so then. Oh yeah. And then all of a sudden you feel like, wow, imagine if your fucking teacher like had a gun. Like it's hard not to think about. Yeah. It would be. sick. My dad, he's a gynecologist, and he looks at vaginas all day long.

It was a time before that was actually a political talking point that all teachers should have guns. Yeah, right. It's crazy. But yeah, like, I haven't really been able to get Arnold much in front of my kids because, like, I don't want their first experience to be jingle all the way because I don't think that's like that good of a movie. And so I was going to show them, I was going to show them kindergarten cop and then I listened back to the action boys. lately you're like there's like a drug overdose in this yeah and like i don't want to give them the wrong idea about drugs you know like yeah i know yeah if we'll be using them wisely in our house and both of my kids know where the narcan is yeah that's right you got test strips man

you're not a test for fentanyl yeah yeah exactly wait it says we have an appointment to learn to use those yeah we're going to go get our fentanyl vaccines today Have you ever listened to those true crime shows and found yourself with more questions than answers? And what is this? How is that not a story we all know? What's this? Where is that? Why is it wet?

Boy, do we have a show for you? From Smartless Media, Campside Media, and Big Money Players comes Crimeless. Join me, Josh Dean, investigative journalists. And me, Rory Scoville, comedian. as we celebrate the amazing creativity of the world's dumbest criminals. We'll look into some of the silliest ways folks have broken the laws. Honestly, it feels more like a high-level prank than a crime. Who catfishes a city?

And meets some memorable anti-heroes. There are thousands of angry, horny monkeys. Clap if you think, she's a witch, and it freaks you out. He has X-ray vision. How could I not follow him? Honestly, I got to follow him. He can see right through me. Listen to Crimless on the IHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Stefan Curry, and this is Gentleman's Cut. I think what makes Gentleman's Cut different is me being a part of developing the profile of this beautiful finished product.

With every sip, you get a little something different. Visit Gentleman's Cut Bourbon.com or your nearest Total Wines or Bevmo. This message is intended for audiences 21 and older. Gentleman's Cut Bourbon, Boone County, Kentucky. For more on Gentleman's Cut Bourbon, please visit gentlemen's cutbuburn.com. Please enjoy responsibly. Dad had the strong belief that the devil was attacking us.

Two brothers, one devout household, two radically different paths. Gabe Ortiz became one of the highest-ranking law enforcement officers in Texas. 32 years, total law enforcement experience. But his brother Larry, he stayed behind and built an entirely different legacy. He was the head of this gang, and nobody was going to tell him what to do. You're going to push that line for the calls. Took us under his wing and showed us the game, as they call it. When Larry is murdered, Gabe is forced to confront the past he tried to leave behind

and uncover secrets he never saw coming. My dad had a whole other life that we never knew about. My mom started screaming my dad's name, and I just heard one gunshot. The brothers Ortiz is a gripping true story. about faith, family, and how two lives can drift so far apart and collide in the most devastating way. Listen to the Brothers Ortiz on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Who would you call if the unthinkable happened? I just fell and started screaming.

If you lost someone you loved in the most horrific way. I said through your 22 times. The police, right? But what if the person you're supposed to go to for help is the one you're the most afraid of? This dude is the devil. He's a snake. He'll hurt you.

I'm Nikki Richardson, and this is The Girlfriends, Untouchable. Detective Roger Golubski spent decades intimidating and sexually abusing black women across Kansas City, using his police badge to scare them into silence. This is the story of a detective. who seemed above the law until we came together to take him down.

I told Roger Galuski, I said, you're going to see my face till the day that you die. Listen to the girlfriends, Untouchable, on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts,

or wherever you get your podcast. his comedies are like on paper again all of the shit like he doesn't make any sense on paper like twins is a deeply fucked up eugenics story like it begins in a top secret government lab where scientists are attempting to create a physically mentally and spiritually advanced human being and the narrator has like a thick Austrian accent so it's like doesn't make it seem like it wasn't about ex-nazi doctors trying to create a master race and then kindergarten cop is like gun-toting policemen, again, goes

undercover the most conspicuous human being on the plant. Like if that guy was just a cop, he would be famous. Right. How fucking cool he looks. And then junior. Yeah. Yeah. Twins is like maybe your best bet to show kids, but it's

like all adult themed. It's not like, it's not like really fucked up, but it is like too, like I couldn't imagine kids holding their interest. Like, It's almost like if Conan wasn't so scary, that would be the one that makes the most sense. But it's a touch spooky with like snake worshippers and shit like that. Yeah.

I am very interested to see like if his appeal still holds, you know? I'm sure it does, right? It's still like these movies are good. But then I thought that about Jaws and my son was like, it's almost as good as the Meg too. So, um, yeah. Yeah, you know, it's hard. You're like fucking with the modern attention span, which is just like, on it, it's like modern consumption is on just a different frequency than we had growing up.

Yeah, you know? Yeah, yeah, of course. We kind of had no choice but to be like, well, Jaws is what's on. I have to like set my brain to be able to sit here for this, which we'd barely ever see a shark. And then you're a kid and you just get baby shark. And then all of a sudden you're like, who cares about Jaws when there's baby shark? Why is the shark singing? Why does Chief Brody not open the video by being like, hey guys, you know, talking directly to me.

We're at the kind of part where his career starts to go away a little bit. It starts to go downhill for the first time. He's like kind of invincible for a long time. Two things that happened in the early 90s. One is playing at Hollywood, which was like a massive deal at the time. But it just, it fell apart pretty quickly.

The food sucked. Schwarzenegger pulled out in 2000. He was notoriously bad at pulling out early enough. That's the one time he pulled out. The one time I actually pulled out on time. And then last action hero was like the big, the big one. It was everybody was like focused on it. So it got like watered down by studio notes.

It doesn't like totally cohere. There's some like really good stuff in it. But like it's an insanely good concept that they just fall a little short on. And like I remember loving it as a kid and or at least wanting to love it. And then rewatching it as a grown up. You're like, man, this could be. so much better. Yeah.

They also, movie to remake. Everyone, all these remakes movies that everyone loves. Remake a movie that kind of sucked. Yeah, because it had like,

kind of fucked up pasting. Yeah. And he was also listening to mini-discs, I think. Like in his stereo and his car stereo had mini-discs. I was like, some bygone technology.

It's like a satire of action movies that like doesn't really get a lot of action movie like tropes or like there's a cartoon character walking through the police station. He's like always throwing dynamite around us. What the fuck is that?

He keeps calling F. Murray Abraham Salieri, too. He's like, that's Salieri. He's like, that's Amadeus. What are we talking about now? They also made a pretty confident decision by deciding to release it the same day as Jurassic Park, which didn't go well. Oh, wow. Same day. June 93.

What a time. Erected a gigantic inflatable Schwarzenegger in the middle of Times Square, but it was like, Kaiju sized and holding a bundle of dynamite, and it was three days after the World Trade Center bombing. So they had to immediately move it out. They also put the title of the movie on a NASA Space Shuttle, spent $500,000 to have it on the space shuttle launch, and then it got delayed until like five months after its release date. And it was like, oh, man, that is a, like, it would almost be at that point, like, terrible luck

for the NASA mission to like have that movie's name on it but it was also just like in terms of action heroes this is like diehard has come out Batman has come out like lethal weapon and you're starting to see people kind of trend towards more

normal sized action heroes it's just like people are like I don't know it's kind of weird that that guy's as fucking massive as he is right because much like the Brad Pitt paradox or you know like if Arnold's movies were any more realistic, like every scene would just have people

stopping him on the street going like, what the fuck? Or like, holy shit. Can I take a picture with your arm? What are steroids? The Brad Pitt one is like, dude, you are fucking hot. Like every situation would just be absolutely ruined by like, wait a minute, dude. You're fucking gorgeous.

Hold on. You're a carpenter, dude? No, no fucking way. I'm wearing glasses and I have a bucket hat on. So nobody's going to even pay attention to me. But just a quick anecdote from that time, Bruce Willis says that after diehard. He walked into a restaurant and Arnold was already there and he like called across the dining room. Do you know why he'll never be an action hero? And then he flexed and he goes,

toothpick arms. Jesus Christ. That's awesome. True lies, I will say, is a incredibly Islamophobic, but very watchable high point of this late career part of there with you don't mess with the Zohan. Yeah. It's a fun fucking movie, but you can't believe. you know they're like wild it's like really kind of oh yeah yeah it's fucking crazy crimson jihad i i'll do anything for the jamie lee curtis uh striptee sequence yeah oh yeah do it sexy do it slowly do it some more and even there he's doing he's kind of using a soundboard yeah well yeah and like in running man when he's

picking out his woman sleazy like that's a great running board line to sleazy Sleazy. Athletic. Sleazy. His, you know, we can offer all the cultural commentary we want on why we think his movie career faded down the stretch of like the 90s here. His theory is that it was when he fixed the gap in his teeth. He recently told Glenn Powell during like the Running Man movie run up that he thought it was he should have never fixed the gap in his teeth. He might be right, but that's definitely not what it was. some people just start making bad choices like money and teen like shit gets in the way and you just start choosing stuff like Arnold had like accidentally great taste for what he would pick you know

what I mean like like it just made like he would he was in things that were so perfect for him and he never like stretched too far but then he would do like a racer and stuff and you would be like these are bad versions of stuff he's already done yeah because when you look at it if you think like okay true lies 94 your hairy tasker great next movie is junior yeah you know then eraser then jingle all the way you're like oh yeah it's cresting

now right yeah yeah yeah yeah and jiggle all the way would be a fun like career like aside if he kept the other shit going on but jingle all the way became then he was just like oh this is who I am yeah yeah and I think also like as you lose the heat like no you're no longer working with James Cameron now you're working with whoever directed like you know

some of these movies and then it's like you you don't have Danny DeVito reteaming with you and Jingle all the way as he was supposed to it's like although Simbats great but you know it's just like he stops having it's hard to like sustain a thing like that and I always remember like Batman and Robin him coming into that world felt like an admission of like being a failure like he had given up because it's just like no this is like the thing where they have to paint on your muscles like you don't you don't have to do that you're fucking the guy in a suit dude yeah the fuck is this so he's like all right my career slowed down i'm going to become the governor of california he does there's like a recall election a bunch of celebrities gary coleman runs

he runs everybody treats it as a joke at first he's doing like just terminator puns the whole time but then he wins and becomes like an actual politician uh and this is where we come to uh you he was bad. He had like, you know, he fought gay marriage and by saying that gay marriage should be between a man and a woman, you know, the sorts of malapropisms that, you know, you can edit out of a movie, but then it becomes like a thing that everybody. Yeah, when you're a lawmaker, it hits a little different. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But there, there was this moment where, I don't know if you guys remember Barbara Bush, like, showed up with a cast and they said that she like slid down an icy hill on a saucer sled

and that's how she broke her leg Arnold recently told the true story which I'm going to put in the chat for you mouth it was snowing up there and we had this toboggan and Bush was trying to teach me how to slide that because I was only used to sledding

down with Austrian sleds which you direct kind of with your feet and so we went down totally out of control and of course we crashed into Barbara Bush who broke her leg then after that Jesus He just trucked

Poor Barbara And of course We crashed into And of course we crashed When he says shit like And of course And of course we are crashing And like because we talk about it

Like he has like these like Rolling dialogue things And of course we are And then I am here I am on the deli side guys I am talking to Miles and Jack And I'm here with Jack and Miles And we are having fun

And we are talking about the sled And of course I'm sledding And I'm sledding with Miles and Jack like he's kind of you know he's like I am here on the tonight show to talk about collateral and it's collateral is the film I am coming out as collateral yeah yeah it just keeps going

yeah that's I think the coolest thing he ever did as a politician was well it's so funny because I remember being I was not very politically minded uh for a long time in my life and I remember being like oh that's cool Arnold's the governor and then like some people whose opinions I liked as a young

kid were like he's like not he's not that like cool like he's got he's got like bad politics and you're like oh okay and now as like a grown up i'm like fuck like imagine arnold was like what the right was like that be a dream come true and they're just actually are only about taxes somehow and not about like policing every fucking my choice every person makes uh yeah right he's like uh pro choice but no health care yeah i go all right i mean that's kind of the status quo warmer warmer we'll make a progress

he said on nerdist Chris Hardwick asked him is there any law you would change if you could as a lawmaker and he said it's obvious

but I would change the president has to be natural born like I was like of course he would change the rules so he could run for president yeah

at the time you're going like yeah right but a celebrity winning president like I don't no man I would kill that have you

that is like one of the reasons we wanted to do this show is like uh to like have more fun but also like you know icons are powerful and like they become they take on a life of their own and like Donald Trump was just a cartoon rich guy yeah he you know like we just I think we have a tendency to like misunderstand what they become icon how people became iconic and also like the power that they have over us and like I feel like he kind of he's been a critic of Trump, but it's hard not to see that his political career is like a template for Trump's

rise where he's like a wealthy megastar who was just like presented himself as an outsider underdog who could fix the problems. But for the 20 years before he was a politician with bad politics, you liked him. So like, you know, it's hard to shake that. Like, Trump, no one liked Trump, but no one hated him either. He was like this rich douchebag. And then he got like a TV show and he was like kind of weird and kind of funny and gaudy and you were like oh it's fucking crazy and then you're like he's in my life he's someone i recognize and then when he's like oh i'm running for uh office a lot of us went like well that makes no sense and a lot of us were like i know him yeah they're like oh no i vote for him i know his name he's not actually

the terminator yeah he's actually he's very rich so he doesn't he knows how to get rich for everybody so i'm going to be rich i'm quoting like six of my family members in one when I say that. Right, right, right, exactly. Yeah, I mean, there were lots of scandals in line with his run for governor shortly before the 2003 election. L.A. Times published a story documenting a long history of sexual misconduct with at least 15 women claiming they were groped or harassed by Schwarzenegger. And then in 2011, his marriage, he married into the Kennedy family, Maria Schreiber. And it was revealed that he had fathered a child with their housekeeper. which came to light because the kid

no one has ever looked more like Arnold Schwarzenegher before. It's funny because Christopher looks more like him than Patrick does. Patrick has, Patrick has Kennedy jeans, which of course are beneficial. Christopher is like big square jawed,

handsome, like it's very, but I look, it's fucking, you know, wear a rubber when you have affairs with employees. But it's a little lesson that we're taking away. That's the main thing to take away.

But I would also say, It's bad. It's fucked up. But the fact that he's like loves and accepts Christopher is so fucking real. Like it's so cute. Or Joseph. Is that the one? Joseph Joseph Joseph.

Yeah, Joseph. Joseph. Patrick is the one from White Lotus. Joseph is the, yeah, yeah. He's the one who we bought a Jeep. Yeah. It's just so like it's funny. Like it's, he's just like, yes, I had a affair with it.

But he's my son. And yeah, I was the governor. Like, he's just like, that's the power. he has where we're just like come on Arnie what's 20 women reporting sexual assault you're Conan you're like yeah what did I just say

he's not even because he's not a person in a weird way either right right like an idea yeah like I'm like I don't know I don't think Arnold Arnold Schwarzenger's a person to be honest he's like he's a fucking GI Joe toy that you just fucking pose in different things the allegations were not shocking to anybody

who's seen that Brazil video there's a video from early very early in his career where they sent him down to Brazil and it's one of the wildest things that it's like the most overtly horny anyone's ever been on camera like and yeah I mean he's like grabbing women's asses who are like you can see somebody dancing yeah somba dancers who are like pushing his hands off of because they're like dancing around him like doing like carnival dancing and he thinks it's a strip club and he's like yeah yeah let's get let me let me grab you by the waist show thee and it was yeah it's it's pretty just everything even his

interactions like with like that one woman like he's like feeding her carrots and shit these are carrots no no no no it's wild but overall like a very weird a very weird career that just like i i do wonder how much it's going to fade over time like do you guys think those movies are going to make sense to people in like even like 30 more years is it going to be like Polly Shore movies, you know, where it's just like, this was a thing that people were obsessed with and like studied more

sociologically. Some of the movies are just like too good and undeniable. But it does also feel like 30 years from now people will look back and be like, it's so weird that he's like this giant fucking monster. Oh, right. Like, is it more of a thing that people are like,

oh, okay, I get it. Or it's like one of those things and you're like, what the fuck were people back then fucking think? We were anti-seater. belt you know like that shit when you're just like we smoked on planes yeah this guy clear no one's asking why he's talking like this in the reality of the film right yeah oh all right guys sure i mean if if film still exists uh i'm sure there'll be a very interesting ways to discuss what what the trans war and stuff but who fucking know like it's true it is funny jack like you just casually say something like in 30 years how will we look at that and then my brain just goes to be like what

the fuck is going to be happening in 30 years. I mean, I'm talking to two dads, so I feel I always lessen my nihilism in those moments. Oh, God. What am I? Jesus Christ. I know. But I feel like, based on your job, over a glass of water. Based on your day job here at TDZ, I'm assuming you guys are a little plugged into that one.

I'm always envisioning The Road by Cormick McCarthy. Right. That's a beautiful. A kid when we're doing the road is going to appreciate Arnold Schwarzenegger. movies. All we have is this iPad preloaded with Last Action here. Sorry, I really wish it had Conan or Terminator on it. You should have seen him. I was a big Bridget Wilson fan. This is a big break in it.

Well, John Gavris, such a pleasure. Thank you so much for coming on. Always such a good time talking to you, too. I appreciate you have me on, especially I don't have to deal with today's awful news stories, and we can just talk about how awesome Arnold is. It's like even more of a treat to do TDZ with you guys when it's not about the state of the universe it feels good. It's about Mr.

Universe instead of the Steelers. Where can people find you, follow, you, hear you, all that good stuff? I'm at Gabris on social media. I got the free podcast with Adam Pally called Staying Alive, wherever you get podcasts or YouTube. I got Action Boys, which is a Patreon

podcast where if you remotely like what this episode's about, it's unfortunately that for three hours every week. That's at actionboys.biz. We have some free episodes that you can get addicted, you know, get you hooked and then you come back for more. And then lastly, I made this physical media, 30 episodes of the Gino Lombardo show. It's like three, 10 episode seasons. I turned it into a USB drive with like original art that comes in like a cassette form.

And you can get that at gino.gabris.com if that's something that appeals to. Amazing. Any comedy bang bang fans out there. Yeah. Yeah. Go get that. Well, that's where I first first heard you. I still remember. sound speeds. I still remember writing Gino Lombardo and then John Gabris down in my notes app

I think it was like his first appearance and I was just like who the fuck is this guy? That was like my second podcast appearance ever. I didn't even know what podcasts were I had moved out here

and I did Gino for Scott and I had such a good time and then I didn't know I would be doing exclusively that character for the next 15 years on his job. One day we'll be doing

an icon episode about Gino Lombo Oh, no, no, yeah, yeah, sure. Well, don't worry, his sexual assault scandals are coming in hot. He groped the bagel boss guy. Hiss them on the back of the neck. All right, that was a fun one. This is the notebook dump.

You may have noticed, first of all, that we didn't hit our standard question. If this person or character existed in the present tense or in our reality, would they have been on the Epstein flight logs. We didn't hit it because this is our first icon who did exist in our moment. And he wasn't on them. Dinging Casino Jackpot Sound Effect. He was not on them. I think we decided Miss Piggy wasn't probably on them also in that alternate reality.

And people were pissed. People were like, yes, she definitely would have been. With Arnold, I'll say the internet actually couldn't believe he wasn't on it and made a fake list of names that went viral on Twitter, claiming these people were on the flight logs. I mean, it's still early. It's still early, folks. We still don't know every. We still haven't seen every file yet. One thing that's becoming a recurring theme also, as we look at these icons, for me is the question of, I guess it's like kind of a nature, nurture question more of a was it them or was it us? Of the icons we've covered so far, like Einstein is one extreme because he's this super singular genius who was going to be famous no matter where and when he existed. And then Erkel's kind of the other side probably doesn't become an icon in most other moments historically

or places in time, but catches something peculiar about the cultural moment. And I'd say Arnold is kind of somewhere in the middle there, kind of an enigma. I feel like he was going to be famous no matter what, everyone who meets him, like even the people who go and being like, this guy seems like an idiot. Like James Cameron, for instance.

They come away from like a single meal with him being like, this is the face of and titular character of my next movie. But the specifics and the level of his dominance feel very peculiar to the 80s 90s like it'll be one of the weirdest sections of the future museum about the late 20th century

like people will just be like why is this guy everywhere and why does he look like that i also wanted to note that you can kind of see the specificity and the suddenness and massive impact of his influence in movies he never appeared in like the same way that you can see certain cataclysmic volcanic eruptions in tree rings on like other continents like the example i was thinking about is the rocky franchise in the first rocky movie stilones trying to play by the rules of the 70s he's a schlubby every man who isn't as ripped as his opponent that was kind of the point it's an underdog tale like all our movies are generally underdog tails so it doesn't make sense that he'd be the superman But then Arnold hits, and by Rocky 3, Stallone looks actually like too muscular to make sense as a boxer.

But by that time, the point was no longer to make sense. The point was suddenly to always look as conspicuously awesome as possible, no matter the role. And then Arnold's influence fades and, you know, he and Van Dam are replaced by action heroes with toothpick arms. And Stallone goes back to playing a schlobby guy in Copland. I think Copland came out the year after Eraser, I think, which was the first of Arnold's big swing action movies that like doesn't really exist. It's not like a flop or a bomb like Last Action Hero.

It's just like people are like, I don't even remember what that movie was about. On the subject of bodybuilding's relationship to acting, there's this mystery at the heart of filmmaking I've always found interesting, which is why do actors like Robert De Niro and, like, John Turturro, who are these great actors, you know, they're actors, actors, but then when they direct movies, nobody really, like, they're not great directors. And then the actors who do make great directors are people like Ben Affleck and Clint Eastwood

and Robert Redford, who are kind of one-dimensional. I mean, they're movie stars. Like, you'd never want to go see them in a stage play, but they end up making great directors. And I think one of the reasons is that they understand a very simple thing, which is how to look on camera, like how to show up, you know, without the interiority of the acting process to rely on, they focus on everything outside of them, their relationship to the camera, what angles make them look best. If you're not a great actor, you're good at looking awesome on camera, you have to be sort of directing while you act and like sort of bending the movie around. your face, which requires a much broader understanding of how filmmaking works, because they don't have the tools inside, so they figure out how to work within the machine around them to look awesome. And that sets them up to be better directors than somebody who just like shows up and is

like, I'm the Jordan of this shit. I don't need to pay attention to these idiots with cameras. Obviously, Arnold didn't become a great director, but I was thinking about that when researching how his bodybuilding led into his acting career, because from a very early age, he's thinking about how to pose and, like, hit his angles and how to appear to people. He's just, like, pure exteriority. He's studying how to show up at the right angle to portray the right things, which for him, the right thing is always to just look awesome and strong. And that was the right thing for America in the 80s and 90s. I mentioned how he tried the Stanislavski method.

I talked about how his teacher thought it got great results. Arnold disagreed. Arnold eventually was like, I don't want to be that kind of actor. I want to be an action hero. And he quit the Stanislavski method and committed to weapons training. And he won all sorts of awards from Gunnut magazines and shit like that for being the best shooter of guns in movies? I don't know.

I don't subscribe to them. Next up, I think the question, we kind of talked about this, but the question of like, is Arnold hot is interesting? And like, why is he not? You know, Gabris mentioned that the women characters

in his movies are often like, oh, hoa, hobo, look at this guy. But he kind of gives off the same vibes as The Rock. He's sort of like too invulnerable to make sense. in that way. He's sort of a marble statue come to life, which I think does tie back into fascism. There's a really good article called Everyone is Beautiful and No One is Horny on the website Bloodknife

that talks about the sort of sexless, bloodless nature of our movies while everybody has suddenly become completely shredded, like the rock and the Marvel movies. And in that article, the writer, R.S. Benedict, connects it back to Paul Verhoeven's satire. of fascism and American action movie, Starship Troopers, and describes the co-ed shower scene as, quote, a room full of beautiful bare bodies and everyone is only horny for war. And I feel like that's a perfect summation of Arnold movies. Like, they had to cut a sex scene from Commando because the actress and the director were like, this doesn't make sense and like it feels weird, but they were willing to add an extra, like, 150 people being killed in the final

scene. In terms of Arnold's relationship to other action stars, as I was reading that book, The Last Action Heroes, I feel like John Claude Van Dam and Arnold Schwarzenegger are sort of spiritually linked. They're just these unquestioningly confident, like puppies who've never been told no. And then Stallone and Segal are these massively insecure. sort of sad boys who refuse to let their guard down. Their careers are like scar tissue that's like grown over their wounded ego. And then Schwarzenegger and Van Dam are like these ids that just sort of shed their super ego like needless shirts and are just running around flexing and waving their dicks in our faces. And finally, I talked in a past episode about this theory I was working on of like,

icons have to have like a contradiction at their core. Like there's too many famous people. We don't want to learn about another famous person. We're already holding all this shit. We don't want to have to pick up another famous person. But our brains are intrigued by contradiction. And so you have like Einstein is not just a super genius. He's a super genius who can't remember to put his shoes on before walking out the door.

Erkel's a dork, but he's a dork who's extremely. confident, Miss Piggy, a career-motivated diva, primarily driven by a romantic love of Kermit. And if I had to jam Arnold into the contradiction theory, I'd highlight some of the stuff we touched on. He's an American hero who spoke with a thick Austrian accent. He's constantly going undercover while being the most wildly conspicuous character in any movie. And it's interesting that he thinks that the thing that killed his career was fixing the gap in his teeth. You know, he's a subscriber to the contradiction theory apparently and uh you know stalone also had an imperfection uh with the way he talked and kind of slurred his words uh because like one side of

his face was lightly crushed by a forceps accident when he was being born but i'm going to shoot you guys straight i don't think there's a lot of contradiction here i think arnold is a pretty straightforward like cartoon of a jock he makes locker room blowjob jokes he smokes massive of cigars. He's just like the toxic masculinity of the 70s pumped up to the extreme to just like the physical embodiment of what a seven-year-old would design an action hero to look like. Yeah. So I'm not sure where we're at with this contradiction theory. I feel like I might need to replace it with our new theory that people do their most iconic work while shitting their pants. All right. That's going to do it for Arnold. We're back next Monday with possibly the most famous

and recognizable figure on the face of the planet, who, depending on the tradition that you follow, may have done their most iconic work while shitting their pants. I'm talking, of course, about our icon number five, Santa Claus. Talk to you then. Bye. I'm Stefan Curry, and this is Gentleman's Cut. I think what makes Gentleman's Cut different is me being a part of developing the profile of this beautiful finished product.

With every sip, you get a little something different. Visit gentlemen's cut bourbon.com or your nearest total wines or bevmo. This message is intended for audiences 21 and older. Gentleman's Cut Bourbon, Boone County, Kentucky. For more on Gentleman's Cut Bourbon, please visit gentleman's cut bourbon.com. Please enjoy responsibly.

Have you ever listened to those true crime shows and found yourself with more questions than answers? Who catfish is a city? Is it even safe to snort human, Remains? Is that the plot of Footloose? I'm comedian Rory Scoville, and I'm here to tell you, Josh Dean and I have a new podcast that celebrates the amazing creativity of the world's dumbest criminals. It's called Crimeless, a true crime comedy podcast.

Listen on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I know he has a reputation, but it's going to catch up to him. Gabe Ortiz is a cop. His brother, Larry, a mystery Gabe didn't want to solve until it was too. too late. He was the head of this gang. You're going to push that line for the cause. Took us under his wing and showed us the game, as they call it.

When Larry's killed, Game Must Untangle the Dangerous Past, one that could destroy everything he thought he knew. Listen to the brothers Ortiz on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Who would you call if the unthinkable happened? I said, it was y'all 22 times. A police officer, right? But what do you do when the monster is the man in blue? This dude is the devil. He'll hurt you. This is the story of a detective who thought he was above the law,

until we came together to take him down. I said, you're going to see my face till the day that you die. Listen to the girlfriends, untouchable, on the IHeart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. This is an I-Heart podcast, guaranteed human.