The Daily Zeitgeist - Weekly Zeitgeist 439 (Best of 7/13/26-7/17/26)

Episode Date: July 19, 2026

The weekly round-up of the best moments from DZ's season 447 (Best of 7/13/26-7/17/26)See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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nonstop infotainment, laugh stravaganza. Uh, yeah. So without further ado, here is the weekly zeitgeist. What is something from your search history that's revealing about who? who you are. Literally yesterday, I Googled, does Jody Sweden have ghost stories? Oh.

Because I... From full house. From full house. Because I was like, I want her to come on my ghost podcast. Yeah, yeah. And so I had to search if she had them. And then that AI thing that comes up in a summary.

You're on to something, Roz. No, it was like, Jody Sweden is not known to be haunted by ghosts. However. However. I mean, what do you, what do you thinking? So it turns out she's got a little bit.

Yeah, I feel like anyone who was a child actor in the 80s and 90s is haunted. There's some haunted there's no way you're like, yeah, no, that's spooky. Yeah, totally. Like even if it relates to like the dark part, I feel like there had to have been like, we were on the sound stage where they did full house. There was a back corner of the soundstage that we swore with, you know what I mean? Like there's always something. There's never go into Uncle Joey's apartment.

Yeah. You know who doesn't have a ghost story from that show? Candice Cameron Bray, probably. Because that's against God. Don't get me started. She's got ghost stories about just seeing a horror movie at her house. And how she was like under attack by Satan. She did say that, didn't she?

Maybe have Candace Cameron Barrette. Actually, not a bad idea. There you go. Anyway, yeah. She's like, I, you know, I recognize that it's fake and like that there are people making these movies. But when I watch a horror movie in my house, I'm inviting Satan directly. It's a portal to Satan.

Sure. So really some interesting theories. I agree, but what's wrong with that? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And that's kind of fun, maybe. There's a little bit of fun to it. Who couldn't use a little direct portal to Satan? Recently, there was a clip of her in March where she said she attended a, quote,

dark and demonic SNM party. Yeah. She did. My eyeballs were popping out of my head. Oh. The crowd Christian admits this moment is one of her most shameful. Oh. Getting so hot and horny at the SNM party.

But your eyeballs popping out of your head. That's a major compliment. Yeah, I know. That's a skull boner. Yeah. That's not because you're like, I'm so ashamed. Yeah, yeah. Your eyes go like this.

Oh, no. Yeah. My tongue unrolled out of my mouth. Like a roll of a bubble tape. I turned to a wolf somehow salivating like the cartoon. Yeah. Yeah, that story's really funny because she was like, Yeah, you know, I live in Hollywood and like, so my husband and I, we accidentally went to this party.

I was like, I don't know how accidental that shit was. I've never accidentally gone to an S&M party. No, when I go to those parties and the big goblet of toddler blood comes around for us to sit from, I'm doing it. Yeah, that's what I fucking came. That's what you're there for. Stop acting new, Candace. What, uh, what's something you think is underrated? Man, you know what?

I think something that I honestly, I just got back from the gym. And you know what I think is underrated is like just let yourself struggle. Yeah. Let yourself struggle at the gym. You're not fooling nobody. Like, you know, now that I'm, you know, I've been pretty consistent, you know, for the past maybe three, four years. I've always felt like I didn't have a, like, I'm not going to get buff.

That's not my body. You know, I got East African origins. I'm a B railed in my whole life. Then you start seeing gangs once you. like somebody actually teaches you how to work out, right? You know, the trainer we got out there, she's a, she's a Latina for, I think she's from Honduras and she, she, she, I still hear her voice. Control, control, control, nope, lower, no, no, one, one, one.

Wow, you know, give you that multiple ones. No, that was more. No, that was one good one. One. Yeah. Yeah. She's like, nope, nope. Lower.

Yeah. Yeah. So she's very much like, born, right? So now you can't unsee it. And I think a lot of times people break form because they're trying to lift big. And I'm like, bro, lower the weight, do less sets and do them right. Now I'm just like, I used to be so embarrassed. I'd go to the gym and immediately I was in my heart freshman in high school in the weight room with the seniors.

You know what I'm saying on the football team? Bro, you can't lift that? No, I could lift your mom. The bar. Oh my God. No, I can't. Yeah. No, I remember that.

I haven't hit puberty yet. Yeah, that was me 14 freshman year and we're like, uh, yeah. Yeah. And I'm like, I'm never doing this again. Exactly. I stayed away for the gym. I was like, I don't know if you know this. You see how there's no hair under my chin or armpit?

I haven't hit puberty. I am a child. I haven't grown my strength strings yet from my body. Yes, right. Exactly. Well, we call them pubic. Exactly. But yeah.

That's what those are. That's hilarious. Strings. But yeah, but I'm just like, bro, like, man, like, then you go to the gym enough and you're like, no one cares. Like, no one's watching you. Yeah. Not in high school.

Yeah, right. Like, it's fine. You know what I'm saying? So, and I'm like, and once you do that, now you start, you start breaking your record. You start actually breaking through plateaus. And now I could, and now I see the dude, I'm doing the dips. And I'm like, my boy, you haven't done anything. And it's all because...

And now I'm that person, but it's all because we're afraid to struggle. One. One. No. Oh, that's cool. Actually, zero. You're at zero. That's the wrong muscle.

Oh, that's crazy. Every workout... You like doing three sets of two? Okay, that's cool. Yeah, yeah. That's dope, man. My wife says every workout, a back workout if you do them wrong. Sure.

So like, that's what I'm looking at. I'm just like, now I can't unsee it. And I'm like, you know what it is? I feel you, bro. You're afraid to struggle in front of it. Yeah, yeah. Frontier. That's the thing, man. The struggling is truly like the edge. It's like the frontier of new experiences and improvement. Yes. Because if you don't go there, you will not see anything new. Like, you know what I mean? Like, if you don't struggle, then you're just going to, you'll just do the same shit and not continue to improve. If you don't get, if you don't get to that point, yeah, like you're not going to see anything different. Yeah. My nickname is a bar, bar, bar, help, bar. Help, help bar here. Help bar here. Help bar just came in.

Yeah. What's something you think is overrated? Oh, buying new furniture and assembling it yourself. I think there's so much great furniture in like thrift stores that are like solid wood. Yeah. Actual wood. We're like a lot of, a lot of people who's like like our parents' generation, you know, they're. dying and nobody wants this furniture.

And it goes in landfills and we're just buying like shitty boards. Like all of my hardwood furniture I have gotten for free or incredibly cheap. This is such a Scandinavian take right here. And I hate IKEA. Yeah. No, but proper wood, but proper wood. Proper wood. And just because and it people just give it away for free like on Craigslist, if you search hutch,

you will find the most gorgeous solid wood hutch that they're like, Please just take it out. It's heavy. From like the Gilded age or something. I don't know. I think the DuPonts owned it. I can't. It's too heavy.

Literally. So I'm like there's so much actual furniture that already exists. Don't spend $100 do labor and have a shitty product. Makes no sense. Right. Yeah. I've definitely learned. I have a lot of IT furniture and they always have to throw it away.

Yeah. No, I've learned. And the wood stuff lasts eternal. Exactly. Like when you see something, like when you start interacting. with things that are wood and then you see like, you're like, oh, this is like pressed board bullshit. Like that has like a nice laminate over it that gives the feeling of it.

Fucking drill through very easily. Yeah, yeah. The real shit lasts forever. Like it's the same thing like that, it's like even when I find old t-shirts at my mom's house that I had from like the 90s and 2000s that are still so much better made than shit you can buy at the store now. It's always like a reminder that like everything is getting shittier and shittier and shittier and shittier. So why pay more for shitty when you can just do a little digging and find the thing

that's made properly? And not have to make it yourself. Also, I found this out. The older furniture is so much better because the wood quality is so much better because the trees were older. And so their rings are really close together and it's really compact where now Newwood is lighter and has only a couple rings because they're just farming and like. So we got to cut trees today or low tea. They're low tea trees. Yeah. Yeah. Look at the ring set. Look at the ring separation on this trunk, dude.

I'm becoming that girl, man. Yeah. So. Has inflation hit the yard sale, the world of yard sale? We were talking on yesterday's trending episode about this new trend of people being like, I found a receipt from four years ago and everything, everything costs like, you know, three times as much as it did. Like, just putting the same items into the cart.

at Target or whatever. I'm just wondering, like, I bet yard sales are still pretty cheap. Well, yes, and now people are so desperate for money that they are selling more of their stuff. So now they're competing with everyone else trying to sell their shit. So, no, I wouldn't say that the prices have changed.

I'd say it's, like, gotten better for the consumer of yard sales. That's funny. Catherine in the chat put that, like, estate sales have been ruined. because I remember I had like friends who like 10 years ago, 15 years ago were cleaning up at estate sales. I was like finding the coolest shit. Yeah.

I know you smoke. I found this like like mid century ashtray I got for like three bucks. And then in the recent years, uh, you know, her majesty likes to go. My partner, she likes to go to estate sales too. And she's like, she's like, damn, bro, like they're pricing shit. It's so stupid. It really depends on if people know, like some people are just trying to get rid of their shit because they don't want to have it anymore.

And other people are like, I can make money off of selling my shit. And it just depends on if you're at one of those places or somebody who's like, no, no, no, this is actually worth $300. But I must get rid of it today. And you're like, well, then it needs to be like 50. Yes. Yes. For this gigantic table.

There are definitely businesses that have profited from inflation and are charging exorbitant because it's brought from an antique shop and it's not a fucking antique. But it's in the antique shop. Hey, if you're smart, get ahead of it. you got elderly neighbors start saying, hey, can I put some tags on some stuff in here when you go? Or like, maybe let's work out of price right now. Because I don't want to deal with your kids. They're probably going to fucking rinse me over this.

So needy. Oh, my gosh, this is a Haywood Wakefield? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm taking this. Yeah, this is beautiful. And you have the leaves for this dining table? Okay, yes, yes. All right.

Let's take a quick break. We'll come back. We'll talk about some news. We'll be right back. You've heard the chaos. Now you can see it. Hello. My gosh.

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You know us, or rather you know them. Tony and Candice, Nina and Lance, Spike, and yes, the chicken. We've played a lot of iconic characters over the years, but today we're showing up as ourselves to tell you about Podlandia, AEO rewatch, our brand new podcast. Each week, we'll revisit an episode of Portlandia from the very beginning, breaking down the sketches, exploring the backstories of our most iconic characters, revisiting the Portland locations you know and love,

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as part of my My Cultura Podcast Network on the IHartRadio app Apple Podcast or wherever you get your podcasts. And we're back. We're back. And the story that won't die about the Sith Lord that won't die. Yep.

Mitch McConnell. Yep. Yeah, man. I mean, his corpse puppeteers posted a picture of the senator sitting upright while awkwardly touching the Sunday Washington Post sports section. It is weird. Like, yeah, because they didn't want to make it obvious that it was a proof of life thing. So he's just, yeah.

just pause his hand on it. Yeah. So, like they should have had him holding it like a person. At least it is with a boomerang, you know? It does suggest life. You know,

how they say like, yeah, the sign that you're like not, you don't have much time left is like grip strength. That can be like a bad sign if you can't like hold things. Yeah. He's not, he's not showing us an ability to hold things.

My, my ability to have somebody place his hand on things. One of my best friends who's a trauma nurse said she goes, she goes, my thing is I know when someone's getting really old is like when the weight of gravity pulls their eyelids. So you see like the inside of their eyelids. She's like,

to me, that's the sign. She's like, and I'm around a lot of old people. And I'm like, is that a medical thing? She's like, no,

it's more a vibe thing. When I see that goes, Oh, you're a strong vibe. Yeah, I'm like, you're old. I'm like,

that's what my grandma looked like in her late 90s. Everything's good. My health is fine. I just keep getting shit in my, like, lint and dust under my eyes. I don't know, man. I don't know what it is. You guys see my tendon? Yeah.

Did I just see your eye ball, your optic nerve right now? But, yeah, unfortunately. All the way to the bottom of your brain. You got something stuck in your throat back there. Let me get it. You good? You good? You want to figure your throat?

But that picture that was posted has done really nothing to slow down conspiracy theories from the right. It's all coming from the right. Dumbest Senator ever, Ron Johnson, I guess, did a, like, a vibes-based forensic analysis of the image and determined that it's fake and said, he was on a Real America's voice on Monday, said, quote, I've just heard from some other sources. That was an older photo, so I really don't know. I haven't talked to Mitch. I certainly wish, you know, him and his family well, and I hope he can recover. Listen, it's sad to watch people age, no matter who the person is. Wow. Brave. Brave. I just feel like you can, with that scenario, like, close your eyes metaphorically and throw a dart at it,

and you are going to find the most profound cautionary tale. Like, in every part of this story, like, just the first cautionary tale is, see, there, you shouldn't have, you shouldn't, you shouldn't have recruited all these conspiracy theorists into your world. Right? Because now when you're actually dying, all they got is conspiracies. So you go, nope, no, you should. Try again. You can't tell them.

Exactly. Exactly. There's that. There's the idea of holding on the power. This is what happened when you hold on the power. Paul Paul should have retired 10 years ago. You should have been retired. You and your lady right now.

You should have been fired. What's another one is, it's just so many cautionary tales. It's like, listen, guys, this is what happens when all you care about is power. Because you know what they did over there in Kentucky with all the the like putting together like electing a new senator and saying like nigger you can't die until august 3rd like you just gave me a date i'm not allowed to die no no like and at the end of the day sir my friend yeah my friend you worked until death yeah you worked until death who wants to work till they die yeah like i mean i just

Look, when you got a lot of lead coursing through your veins, you probably get weird ideas about power and your own potency and what all that means. And they've been telling themselves the lie that like the only thing that matters is power. Obviously, like, that's how they've lived their lives is the only thing that matters is power. So they can't just like, as they're coming to the end of their life, they can't just like, be like, oh, I was wrong about that, it turns out,

even though I'm sure there are massive, you know, parts of their body and soul that are being like, Go to a lake with your grandkids, you fucking weird. Yeah. Yeah. And everybody that talked to you apparently, look, look, this your legacy. Everybody that was told the public they talk to you has put words in your mouth and said that you agree with everything that they want you to agree to. And you know who ain't said shit, your family. My nigga, like, where like?

Yeah, I mean, like, hey, they got to keep this thing alive, bro. Right. We need this. I mean, the wild thing, though, too, is, like, just as easy as these people spit out conspiracies, they take them back. Because Ron Johnson, after saying, he's like, I heard this shit was old. Just someone asked a follow-up question. Like, hey, man, like, what do you mean? And he just folded immediately.

He said, quote, it was a rumor. Just discount it. I have no idea. I just heard that. I just heard it. So just assume it's false. Just as a quick quote. Direct quote from Ron Johnson when asked.

That is so hilarious. you mean, bro. What do you mean? From who? Where'd you hear that? I don't know. I don't know. It's me. It's wrong. I'm an idiot. Hey, man. You know what, guys? Don't listen to me. Yeah. Don't listen to me. About anything, man. And then he then posted on X, like later, he said, warning people to quote, beware of clickbait. Wow. Okay, Boomer. Then Laura Lumer, the originator of Brain Dead Gate is doubling down. She said in regards to that image, quote, why does the text on the newspaper, McConnell's staff claim he's holding,

look AI generated. I have seen this image. Yeah, I did for a moment. I was like, I thought it was AI too. That seems a little bit transparently. Like, why wouldn't they just prop them up with a real newspaper?

But yeah, there is an image where they zoom in and it does look like AI generated text. Which everyone, and then forensic fucking digital analysts were like, look, it looks like that because it's a low-res image and you can't get into it.

And also like some of these apps have like, AI like sort of enhancing options that will make something look a little clearer than it is. Also, they looked at them. Like, I think the Washington Post asked McConnell's, like, people are like, can you send us the actual image file? And then they looked at the metadata and they're like, yeah, this was taken, like the metadata is on the up. Now, we don't know what state Mitch McConnell's in. But anyway, that's him. Yeah, I don't know. I thought, I looked at that. The first one I saw had Lindsey Graham in it too. And I was like, okay, is this the joke? Like, is this the joke?

And I was like, okay, this one's obviously a joke. Right, right, right. Right. But either way, I was just like, like, I think y'all said this before. I'm like, this was a solvable issue immediately. You could have, you really, it's really an own goal out this mug. Like, y'all really could have deaded this early. Yeah.

Yeah. If he does, if he's fine. If he's alive. If he's, if he's like awake and able to speak, yeah, they could have just put a video together of him speaking. Like the fact that they haven't done that suggests to me that they know exactly what they're doing. And yeah.

Or just be a regular ass, just be a regular ass human and be like, yo, yeah, don't look good, man. You know, hashtag pray for Mitch. I don't know. Yeah, yeah. You could just be regular like, hey, dude, I know you got your feelings about him, you know, and his power and stuff like that. Right. He is a father.

You know, he is a grandfather. Look. His most famous. He's not doing well. The most famous thing he ever did is the Merrick Garland Scalia thing. thing and like that was around the strategic you know strategically

responding to someone dying too soon for his tastes essentially yeah so like this is so on just like perfectly on brand yeah yeah for like nailed it 100%. They're soldiers to the, they're committed to the cause bro, use my body for whatever you choose, Dark Lord. Like they

have to know that just a single sentence uttered on video is would put all this away and the fact that this is like they went to them with that and they were like best i can do here he is sitting up touching a newspaper it was pretty pretty they're like really like hilarious where we're at they're like if you zoom in he's got toothpicks holding his eyes open actually oh my god everyone who kept talking about the ai it's right in front of you really bad

practical effects there's like his practical it's practical i think those are matchsticks for sure Hey, homie, is that? Is that tape? That tape on your eyebrow right there? I think this one is definitely AI because he is, he's doing, he's juke in like he's from Memphis to 36 mafia in this one clip. The other thing, though, I will say, Laura Lumer then, just because in her infinite medical knowledge, she also said she's like, quote, the text is blurry on the name tag and the tag on his shirt is blurred. Also, if he's in the hospital, why is there no IV connected to him to monitor his health? That's, and I'm like, yep, that's right.

That is troubling. I need an IV. I'm a doctor. Yeah. And that's tough to hear. This patient needs an IV heart monitor, stat. An IV to monitor is healthy. Intravenous.

Okay, sure. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So anyway, it's just the dumb leading, the even dumber. And you get this. And that means no Republican lover die in peace. Yeah, I hate that I have to consider the possibility that Laura Lumer is the only. one telling the truth. Even with that, being like, the IV won't even tell you what his heart's doing.

Yeah. But they're also like, ma'am, I tried. I really tried to give you the benefit of the doubt. Because the brain dead thing is the thing that makes the most sense. But I'm like, but you said it, though. I think he's probably very, very unwell. They could probably be like, we can get them off of these machines for like 10 minutes. Right.

the picture. And he's having it. His blood oxygen is shrugling. Okay. He's going to have to hit, he's going to have to start hitting that mask like fucking Dennis Hopper and Blue Velvet, honey. Yeah.

Mommy, Mommy. Unfortunately, so we did get a sentence from him. Unfortunately, that sentence was Mommy, Mommy, Mommy, baby you want to fuck. Blue Velvet reference. Uh-huh.

It is, it is wild that, like, just try and picture what the preparation for this picture. So assuming they couldn't get a video, like what was the preparation for the, like you said, is there a team of people just off camera

getting ready to like put the in, put the tube back down his throat? And like, had they just like pulled the hypodermic needle out of his heart after giving him the pulp fiction? Oh, adrenaline shot. Yeah, yeah.

Just be like, all right, his eyes are open. Great. Get in here. Did I say bring a dead OD Mitch to my house, dude? There's an OD Mitch in my house, dude. And now I got to hit this OD. You hit her. You brought the OD Mitch to my house, dude.

Hilarious. Wow, it all works. It all works. You know, like, I hate to, and by hate to, I mean, I love to bring it back to Bell Hooks. But did I say something in that Bjork episode? Yeah. But was I like, yeah. Too much.

There's in your negotiations of power, like, okay, one critique about Bell Hooks is she's very binary and our understanding of just male and female roles. Like, I get it. You know, there's that. I just happen to be a cisgendered relationship. And in that situation, one thing she kind of talked about is like when in your attempt to protect yourself from shame, you tell. truth but not the whole story.

So like, and it's, and it's, and in some ways, it's, it's, it's an attempt to hold on to the control of the narrative. Like, hey, you know, what was you doing last night? Oh, I was out with the hummies. Right. Okay. You know, how's the money looking? Yeah, exactly. Like, or just, and it's like some stuff, yeah, it doesn't matter, you know what I'm saying,

but those things don't communicate trust. And when there's a vacuum of information, you know, where there's a whole, I'm going to fill it in with something. Right. Like, you know, I'm in a situation with, with a friend of mine over some, like, business stuff. And I'm just trying to, I'm just like, yo, homie, like, what's the play? Just tell me what the play is. You know what I mean?

Like, are we going to run these people for some bread? Like, if that's the play, just let me know the play. You know what I'm saying? He's like, hey, man, I'll get back to ASAP. I'm like, okay, word, but what's the play? Yeah, you know what I'm saying? And I'm like, he's like, all you need to know. Yeah, he's like, hey, don't worry about it.

And I'm like, well, my nigger now I'm worried about it. Because you can't tell me to play. You know what I'm saying? So I'm just like, I just, I've learned so much about that in my own relationship that when I watch politicians do this shit, I just be like, do y'all know any other humans? Do you have any healthy relationships with anybody? No, no. Nope.

And back to your point, too, about people not wanting to struggle. I mean, like, that's such a huge thing, especially with men, is the ability, like, inability to appear that you're struggling in any capacity in a public situation like that. So yeah, and for this. To the point that you're literally dead and pretending to be sitting up comfortably holding a newspaper. That you become a scarecrow to democracy. Yes. Democracy scarecrow.

Democracy scarecrow. Hey, don't get any ideas now. I'm alive. I'm alive. I only had a brain. All right. Well, speaking of democracy. There's been a lot of speculation about Trump giving a national address on Thursday.

To, you know, he's doing like what one of the things he, you know, in the past, he's done this with regards to COVID. He's done it with regards to the war in Iran. And people are like, what, what is this going to be? And there's early reporting that it's, he's going to announce that senators Warnock and Ossoff were illegally elected due to Chinese Venezuelan Interest. fear. So he's going to do like a rough thing? Depends on what we got, man. It depends on what we got. Yes. So that was like the rumor floating

around from like right wing news sources. And then like that same account that shared that was like, update the White House tells this president's, the president's speech will not focus on Georgia's 2020 election. And then it says Georgia Republican source adds to us that they were notified of speech and the upcoming

reports initial Georgia election focus in advance. So that, yeah, there are, look, there are also reports, this goes along hand in hand with reports that the White House is in the process of like readying classified documents for public release about the 2020 elections so that they're hoping to be like, oh, so we have no other option except to believe that Trump won in 2020 or some shit. This is from MS now quote. A new White House task force reviewing thousands of pages of classified intelligence and law enforcement documents for evidence of irregularities in U.S.

elections is expected to begin releasing documents within weeks. The Office of a of the director of national intelligence, whose acting chief, Bill Pulte, has been accused by Democrats of politically weaponizing federal government information will be part of the effort. Democrats say that Trump has placed Pulte in the position so that he can aid Republicans in the midterm elections

and potentially limit voting by Democrats. So this sort of like goes hand in hand with like, when we're like, what is Tulsi Gabbard, the director of national intelligence at the time, doing in Georgia at this election facility? And the FBI, what are they doing? doing. It seems like this is all part of like, can we find little scraps of paper that we can

completely misconstrue and misrepresent to make it be like, oh, look what we found, guys. Look at all these votes that we found that were hidden that weren't counted. Actually, this is, this is bad. So, yeah, I don't know. Again, this isn't about swaying the public because it's not going to. No. Like, it will get the, it will activate the freaks who watch like, you know, one American news and all that shit. But I think overall, the meta goal is just to continue to so doubt over election system.

So people who just read headlines, go, oh, man, elections are a mess, huh? You read that thing about it. What's going on in Georgia? Who might as well not do them. Better hand over the voter rolls and, like, keep non-Maga people from voting, right? It's going to be, yeah.

I think anybody who's like, yeah, but he can't really do it. Like, he can't, like, he doesn't have the, there's not the political will to do. I just think what he tries is going to be more absurd and dramatic than what anybody is currently prepared for. Yeah, famous predator with a gift for reading what people's desires are. Right, right. You're going to just flawlessly unroll this, like, obscene misinformation campaign.

Yeah, definitely it was called the crazy one in the group text that I was like, he's going to try to cancel the elections. Yeah. I'm like he's going to figure out. Or just some other thing to because maybe he doesn't fall short of that introduces like, he's like, well, we have no other choice but to now push through this emergency election powers out of whatever the thing. Yeah. To make it seem like we got to do this.

Because he's all in on this solution. He's not all in on even signing an affordable housing bill that his own party could be like, yeah, and we got an affordable housing bill that we signed that could hopefully help people. No, I need my voter suppression bullshit. Cause. Wow. Listen. I had a mentor tell me a long time ago, just wanted a big on me as mentor.

That's a nice way to say it. But he was just like, yo, how you do anything is how you do everything. And at first I was like, come on, fam, that's a little reductive, don't you think? Come on. You have that fortune cookie ass take, bro. Yeah. But then I was like, but then I started thinking about more in my life. And I was like, God damn.

Right. So when I think about like this full refusing. to admit that he meant to say Zelensky when he said Putin and then just tried to change the moment to be like, nah, that's what I meant. Rather than just being like, trying to say. Yeah, that's what I was trying to say. Rather to be like, nah, my bad. Like, bro, you can just, there's still like, even later on it, it's like, yo, there's still time.

You could still, if you miss the original like, yo, my bad. Oh, wait, wait, I apologize. Right. Putin. Ha, ha, ha. Anyway, right. Just, and then you let time go. They never misspoken.

I've never said the wrong thing. Yeah. Even if you double down. Right. You could even lie and be like, I'm just messing with y'all. Even if you say, I was just kidding like our kids. Dad, I was just kidding. Right.

You could do that one. Yeah. You could have done that, but I'm just like, bro, like there's just the, rather than just being like, look, I thought y'all cheated. Mm-hmm. I still feel like you did. But, I mean, I guess I can't prove it. So let's just move on.

Rather than the inability to do that is the same thing that won't let him say the Islamic Republic of Japan. Wait, my bad. They are. They are actually. Yeah. And I'm right here. I'm right here. I'm right here, bro.

The Flyetola, right here, bro. The Flyatola. Yeah, if you think about it. I mean, he's also just so obsessed with Georgia, too, because, like, that really was the state that did him in with, like, the blue shift. and also like shout out to all the black voters that he also activated his crazy white supremacy to be like, and they did that to me. Because they also, if you remember,

like it was announced that like both senators were going to be coming from Georgia like while January. Yeah. Like on January 6th. It was just a very. Yeah. And then boy boy, boy that was on the phone call, that was just like, Mr. President.

Because you just need to find me like 30,000, 40,000. Brad Razzard. I just need 11. I just need 11,000. 11,7.80. Getting it from someone else. Yeah, yeah. Yeah.

One more. You can go a little bit over that. But at minimum, those. Find them, please. I shouldn't win by like one vote, but maybe if I went by like four or five, $4,000 might be good. Yeah.

Mr. President, what the hell you mean find you votes? Yeah. So, yeah. Like, I'm a, what you mean, find them? Like, what is you? Make them up, is what I mean? Oh, got it. Yeah.

I mean, so, yeah, this latest, uh, democracy distraction brought to you by dementia. Good. It's going to be, yeah, I think we're headed for some crazy shit. Believe it or not in this Trump. Because now it's just really like, it's trying to give a cat a bath. And it's just going to be thrashing. And you're like, what the fuck is?

Oh, boy, you've really, your back's really to the fucking wall. And now we're all suffering. Try to give a cat a bat. Let's take a quick break. We'll come back and talk. talk about the pervert glasses. We'll be right back. You've heard the chaos. Now you can see it. Hello.

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Carrie Brownstein and Fred Armisen here. You know us, or rather you know them. Tony and Candace, Nina and Lance, Spike, and yes, the chicken. We've played a lot of iconic characters over the years, but today we're showing up as ourselves to tell you about Podlandia, AEO rewatch, our brand new podcast. Each week, we'll revisit an episode of Portlandia from the very beginning, breaking down the sketches, exploring the backstories of our most iconic characters,

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And we're back. We're back. We're back. Cyclo-pariasis. What? Cyclosporiasis. And I did say it wrong on purpose of the first time to see if you caught me. You did.

Congratulations, Miles. Well, as somebody who eats a lot of Taco Bell, if someone eats a lot of Taco Bell, this one's near and dear to my fart. It's a very funny story. It's sad, obviously. No, wait, sad. Sad. Sad.

People are in distress, and I don't like that. But the way it's being covered in the news is that they always mention explosive diarrhea. Every time, like they just keep. There's like not an article that doesn't have explosive. It doesn't sound like this is from futurism. It doesn't sound like any cases of cyclosporiasis related explosive diarrhea have been linked to Taco Bellia. So the fast food chain is probably just trying to err on the side of caution with regards to explosive diarrhea being linked to. So is this something they're putting in.

So cyclosporiasis is like an ingredient in all of Taco Bells? So this is another one of these parasites that it seems like we used to be a, we used to have the luxury of not having to pay that much attention. You know, there would be a food recall. And we would be like, okay, let me check. the food that I just bought at the grocery store is on there. It is not. Okay, and we can assume that they will be getting this under control. However, our country has since that time put in charge of health,

a person who has only been responsible for causing illness outbreaks and not containing them. Not so much an expert on containing and stopping them as much as causing them. Yeah. So we've kind of locked ourselves into a fate where we kind of have to pay a little bit more attention to these things. And this one in particular is one of the hardest foodborne pathogens to trace to its source. Oh, great. Yeah. So they can't, they can't put a finger on it. So they're going just scorched earth. Scorced earth. No vegetables at Taco Bell. Taco Bell is temporarily pulling some of its staple ingredients in Michigan. locations, including lettuce, cilantro, onion, pico de gallo, and guacamole. And their whackamole, too? And their wacamole.

Oh, my God. So you're telling me that Taco Bell, Pico de Gaio has real vegetables in it? I know. Hey, sorry, we hate it for you to find out like this. This is kind of them just being like, yeah, guys, guess what? I thought that was 3D printed. Yeah, no, no, turns out. For lettuce, I did hear that they use the Easter grass, like Easter basket grass.

Exactly. And something said it's, so you can't really tell the different. Construction paper that they died. I think it's why the news has decided to go full in, like, you know, full on explosive diarrhea.

Like they're like, because they're like, well, listen, if the president's swearing. Right. Exactly. We're going to say explosive diarrhea

whatever the fuck we want. What is wrong with everyone saying? Did you say, in that, uh, that, that, that futurism article,

uh, it started off saying, as an explosive diarrhea outbreak, outbreak splatters across the country is how futurism might not be the Wall Street Journal of Internet. They can't help themselves. And I love you for that futurism. They're so mad.

The people like at CBS News, for example, are the real journalists who are having to have their boss be Barry Weiss, like a whatever she is, some evil Muppet. Hey, also a famous person from Pittsburgh who might be on a stamp soon. Is that Barry Weiss? Yeah. God, man, Pittsburgh contains multitudes. So Barry Weiss, yeah, she's like, you know, they're like, can we talk about antitrust laws? And she's like, no.

And they're like, can we talk about, you know, can we talk about, you know, ice? No. But like they're so mad, they're like just leaning into explosive. Well, we're going to type explosive diarrhea so many fucking times. And good. That's part of the style guide now that I'm read of CBS news. We've got to blow off some steam somewhere. Just so you know if you're ever talking about diarrhea, you need to vet that it wasn't explosive diarrhea.

We are not pulling any punch. on this one. Barry Weiss, we are not pulling any punches. The assumption is that it is explosive. Explosive diarrhea. Good, good, more, more, more. Feels good.

Anyways, it's a nice release. Hello, Barry Weiss. Have you heard about the explosive diarrhea? Oh, that's good. That's good. That keeps us talking from put that up top. I eat almost exclusively bags of lettuce from Trader Joe's with fucking cans of salmon dumped on them.

And so, like, I'm in big trouble. Your canned Sam salad? Yeah, my friend, my friend, Larissa, got in touch with me and said, you better ease up on that? You better watch out, yeah. You better watch out. You eat a lot of lettuce. And in the text or in the warning, did she say anything with regards to explosive diarrhea?

I don't think she was excited about being able to say that. Anything kind of goes in my texts. Yeah. So like, you know, explosive diarrhea just be another day at the office in my texts. She probably linked off to an article. in Time magazine with the headline Explosive Diaries. So she was like,

this would be redundant. Yeah, and the kind of text chains where people say that fireworks are Satan's cum shots. Yeah. I'm talking about real shit. Come on, man.

And explosive diarrhea is Satan's buckshot. You know? But yeah, that's dull. A ass buckshot? Yeah. Dear God. Did she just make that up? I think that's a line

from a very early cracked article by a guy named Ian Forte about those those pills that, or that, uh, Alestra. I'm ready to go, by the way. Those chips. They would make oily, give you oily shits. And I'm pretty sure he, uh, described it as ass buckshot and it's never left my mind once.

So shout out to EM 5. I'm glad. I'm glad to go. So yeah, come get me, explosive diarrhea. I'm tired of paying my car on shirt. Might as well go out in a blaze of glory. Ah, I cannot get any more debt collector phone calls. So please.

Yeah. Come get me. Come knock. come my door. I got something waiting for you. Well, speaking of Satan's cum shots, if you've seen the movie The Devil's Advocate, you know that Al Pacino has played Satan

and this man is still firing, still shooting up that club. He is on pace to become one of the ten oldest fathers of all time. We've before mentioned that when he had a child

at he was 82. he became like top 25 oldest fathers of all time. I think it was like 83. That was like three years ago or something when he had that. Yeah, those three years ago. June, 2023, he's expecting another baby,

which should put him. I'm going to say, so some of these people who are on this list are like, the number one on the Wikipedia page is like 101 years old. This guy's age was disputed because his, He was born in 1849. Yeah, yeah, no, no. I was like, come on, man.

Civil war shit. Nah, bro. This back when, like, P.T. Barnum was just, like, finding a 70-year-old person and being like, you're George Washington. Right. He's like, or I can tell people you're the oldest 14-year-old in the country. What are you feeling today? Yeah.

You're right about that. Yeah. That was what everybody was doing back then. Yeah. And then they asked that person what their secret to how they got old was. And they'd say, I ate twine. stuff like that. Had to die from something.

And yeah, so he will surpass Saul Bello, the Canadian-American writer, who became a father in 1999 at the age of 84. Okay. And will really put some distance between him and Robert De Niro, who is also competitively having children in his dotage. That's like some kind of disoform. I wonder if that's ever happened before.

Like celebrity, we're like celebrities, speaking of ancient celebrities that may not have even been really the, you know, the person who, the last surviving witness that saw George Washington chop down the cherry tree, back to cherry trees. You know what I mean? Like that guy, like, was there a disease where the celebrities had babies right before they died always? You mean just the general fear of death? No, just like celebrities, were they always getting people pregnant, like four seconds before they died? I guess they, is that, is that a more recent phenomenon? Yeah. I mean, Anthony Quinn.

Remember, Julio Iglesias, senior, 2006. Yeah. became the, I think, according to he was 91. Yeah, 91. So he's still got it in terms of celebrities, but his child was born posthumous after he had. That's crazy that Enrique and Glacius would have had a uncle or aunt. Or no, an aunt, basically, a newborn aunt at that time, which because, yeah, crazy. Here's your new aunt.

This is sister, right? No, because it's his grandfather. Oh, shit. Julio Iglesias is, senior is the father. A grandfather. Yeah. Oh, yeah. So Enrique, Baile Mosas' grandfather had this kid, which is crazy.

It's like, yeah, meet your aunt. Respect her. In 2006. Yeah. He had had a whole career. and his career was over by then. Over. My man was 31 at the time.

Oh, Enrique. Well, look at you. Julio Iglesias singer. Yeah, I don't know. I mean, is this having kids that old is it's got it like I'm already exhausted as a parent at like 41. But I guess also when you're that old, you're not parenting. That's not the expectation. Yeah.

Yeah. For Pacino, he's like, I nutted. I did my part. That's it. I got to go. We heard how excited he got about that woman's great ass. Not in the same room with his partner. There was a go-between.

He doesn't even know. He's like, I did what? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You fathered another child. Oh, God, no. And they're like, we need him to have, like, maybe this kid will be a great, you know, like, I guess they think they're going to get another great actor or something. Yeah, all the other ones are like, no, try again.

We need a new one. I just think it's weird that, yeah, like, I don't know what we need. Like, what do we need? I don't know. We don't need anything. We're doing. Where do we need a Pacino now? We got a, what's the name of that AI actress, Tilda, Tilly.

Oh, Tilly Norwood? Yeah, we got Tilly Norwood. We don't need any goddamn, we don't need to get geriatric actors to nut anymore. Yep, yep. Wow. We don't need any Pacino's running around, little Pacino's. All they're going to do is make folk music. It's going to ruin my life.

Folk music about a breakup. Next thing you know, you know, Al Pacino's daughter's going to be on the radio, and I'm going to be ranting and raving about it in a wheelchair. She might be. She might be. All right. That's going to do it for this week's weekly zeitgeist. Please like and review the show if you like the show.

It means the world to miles. He needs your validation, folks. I hope you're having a great weekend, and I will talk to you Monday. Bye. On Raiders of the Lost Podcast, we explore cinema like no one else, including huge interviews with stars like Ryan Gosling on Project Hail Mary. It was like the Jaws Shark. Didn't always work, came with its own problems.

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Pick aside, we already did. Listen to the 1021 podcast on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, Portlandia fans. Carrie Brownstein and Fred Armisen here. The Dream of the 90s is alive in podcast form. We're launching Podlandia, AEO, rewatch, our brand new podcast where we revisit every episode of Portlandia together. Raking down sketches, going deep on our iconic characters,

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Listen to Podlandia. A.O. Rewatch on the IHeart Radio. app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. What's up, fam, it's sports journalist Ari Chambers. Hey, what's up, y'all? It's your girl, Sam J. And we're the hosts of everyone watches women's sports, a new podcast from Together. We're breaking down the biggest headlines, the viral moments, and the stories everyone's talking about across women's sports.

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