The Daily Zeitgeist - Woodbridge Lore

Episode Date: March 10, 2026

The guys consider buying a 10th-tier club, explore some Woodbridge, VA lore, enjoy some classic nasheeds and check in on match week 29!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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My favorite murder turns 10 this month. Join us for new episodes every Thursday on the Exactly Right Network. Listen to my favorite murder on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Goodbye. Hello and welcome back to the number one unhinged comedy football podcast, Ain't It Footy, where we're discussing the Premier League and everything that's happening, and especially everything that's happening with Arsenal. But first, before we get into the week's action, you know how we started off.

Jamel Johnson, give me three to 17 words or phrases to describe your feelings on the past week of football. I have 12.5 words for you. Okay. God forbid the red side of the red side of. of North London have a little motion. Yeah. What the fuck is everybody's problem? Yeah. 20 years of us

playing sexy and losing games like idiots wasn't enough for you? We're dragging you to hell and no one cares. I love it. All right? I love everything about how we play. Yeah. Oh man, it's over for y'all. It's over for y'all. I'm just, oh, you think

it's bad now. A ron ball for life. Yeah, that fucking meme is so funny. What's that one Arabic song that they always play under it. Yeah. Just be a little it's like so it's the axis of evil

music. Yes. Chris Martin straight from the UK in it, brov. Yeah. Boots on the ground.

Yeah. Give it to a straight. I lick my finger. I lit my finger and put it up in the air and I sense what's happening and out here. Good stuff's happening. I mean,

to describe last, we've got FA Cup and Premier League, but I will just go back to Wednesday night, and I will call it the greatest night of my life. I literally, even if I asked them, I literally was like at my mother-in-laws

watching the game and then the Man City result happened, and then I realized what Forrest doing and then Wes Ham did, and I literally was like, I think it was texting you guys going, I don't know, I'm just so happy and I don't know what to do.

I'm just like, I'm just in a Scottish bedroom that my wife grew up in and I was just like she went to bed and I just stayed up what she matched in the day. There was big ass broad swords all over the room. And I was like, Tottenham lose tomorrow. And then like I already knew Tottenham

were going to lose the next day. I was just like, oh, mate. I was just like, whatever happens to the rest of the season, I was just like, I was just like, just didn't know what to do with myself. Yeah, yeah. Potentially the greatest day of my life is my words to describe. Bursting at the seams he was.

Yeah. For me, it's really just a song and it's, Spurs go. down Spurs going down because you ain't around the Premier League, baby.

Um, God, bro. That was such a fucking cherry on top for this week for me. It was crazy because in our match against Brighton and with the forest result, the thing happened we needed, which was they dropped points and we gained points. And the belief was there.

You could see in the fucking away crowd. Everyone was pointing. Who's like that? one fan wasn't like in 2001 after we beat Manchester United there's like that one guy in the crowd going like you know it's like a famous clip of this like supporter like

in the heyday of the Venger era like it felt like that was a moment too where everyone was like bro it might be on and on the other side of that Tottenham Palace the fucking faces on those people at the end it was also the match where they also began to believe

yeah we might be going down we might be going down all the memes have been so good. So fucking good. Man, shout it to that guy, Sean Archibald, the best video I've ever watched.

I've watched it a hundred times. Then when I sent you with a guy, Lincoln City away at time, with the glamorous life in the background. I've watched it every morning since. I'm going first class. Just like looking around. God damn.

What a fucking nice stadium. When he pulls the camera out in the tunnel, I start, I'm crying. I'm crying. All right. Well, we're covering the FAA Cup, fifth round, and then we'll get into match week 29. The FA Cup, some fun shit.

I remember the, so the Chelsea-Rexam match, that was like a fun draw on paper. Actually pretty close game, it turned out. Just that goal at that. Wait, so they had VAR. How come they had VAR at this match? And they didn't have it at ours. Because Rexum, like, did they, I heard they brought the infrastructure in to have VAR for this match. But I understand what.

Pulling them. Deadpooling them, brought the cameras in. They got Hulu on the phone. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But, because, I mean, I'm saying, like, without it, this match may have been a little bit more interesting. Yeah, that was, I was telling you guys, I was staying in a castle, which I decided to stay in Warwick,

Warwick Castle. Like, I was, you know with a toddler, you're like, they're kind of excited by any sort of hotel. That's, yeah, yeah. But I was like, a castle, I was like, this is, and then I didn't quite know what to expect. And turns out it's just, it's just a place full of children, obviously.

Some of the worst, some of the worst food ever. Like, the food that they served, I honestly think if they'd served it from the 15th. They'd got, there'd been some food from the 15th century. Right. There that hadn't been touched for 600 years, and they gave that to me. It would taste nicer than the Schwab,

the vegan Schwama super salad, they tried to make me, where they had some fake meat in it. But like, it was honestly like, the people making it loved meat, and they wanted to show you how bad fake meat was. And they were like, it was just shaved. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Make that work. Seeing you, it was just shaved. I don't know what it was. I'm sorry. Imagine an ACL. I'm sorry. They called it a super salad? It was like a super.

It was like, why add those weird modifiers? Like, because you could. It's a super salad. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Any adjective about it, I know it's going to be bad. But I was watching the game. There was a reason why I started on this in a host of, hotel room. And when

Rexham scored that third goal, I did the thing I often do in Arsenal school. I just start running. I just start running. I just get off the line. I started running. I ran towards the door. I didn't know if I was going to just run out into the, get attacked by a night in the field.

And then I was so happy. And then obviously the VAR ruined all the fun. But it shows you, though, how much I hate Chelsea it turns out. You don't know how much you hate Chelsea until you celebrate them conceding. Right. Exactly. Exactly. Oh, man, Liam, he's doing it still.

He's doing it still. Jamel, those men are perfectly aged. Were you, did you think Wrexham was going to maybe do it? Because, I mean, the way it was playing out, you're like, oh, shit, they're fucking hanging in there right now. Like, they felt, you know, the magic of the F.A. Cup and all that was in full, full swing. Yeah, I mean, listen, of course I thought they had a chance.

And my girl asked me who I wanted to win. And I was actually, I was like, I think I want. Chelsea to win because if we drew Rexham and lost, that would be more embarrassing. You've been so, you've been so, you've been so worn down by Arsenal fandom for the last 27 years. Yeah, it was like, is that strange to me?

You know Arsenal are going to draw Chelsea for the fifth time this season. You know that's happening. Oh, yeah, yeah. The beast you know. And I love seeing Cougarillo on the ground. It was like a real game. Yeah, yeah. Love seeing them on the ground.

Just keep him down there. Yeah, just stay down, bro. Stay fucking down. Don't get up. He's like, what position do you want me into that? She's on the ground. Corpse on the ground. We're doing a corpse style.

Clipped by Kiefermore position. Yes, thank you. What do we call this position? The desecration of the corpse. Yes, yes. Anything else about that one before we move on? I mean, Rob McElaney's cheekbones was looking the strangest hell up there,

They were there together. They were hanging out. And it's like, to me, the vibe is Ryan Reynolds actually might love this shit. And Rob's kind of along for the ride. That's kind of the read I have. But, you know, hey, I'm watching from my extreme distance. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I get that.

I mean, look, everybody's getting in on the ownership thing. Because what, you know, Mike will be born. Does he always part of Borden myth? Yeah. For like a few years. KSI, my favorite YouTuber. Who I know. Who is he bought into?

He's just bought Dagenham and Redbridge. Oh, sixth tier. He's bought 20% of that Dagenham, I mean, that's just, it's depressing how much money he's got in a way, but no, fair play to the guy. He's a content creator. Who can we buy us three is why I keep me.

What's our level? Okay. Surely Dullage or something, like Dullage, how much do you need, how much do you reckon we need to, let's get a 10th tier team, surely? It would be, surely I would have to see someone in like 10 Gs between us.

I'm thinking, yeah. Are you think we can even get a league two team? It's probably the national league. Oh, mate, no, it's below the national league. Yeah, it's going to be like, yeah. No, I mean the 10th tier. I mean, like you can go regional. Southern League.

Oh, we're regional. Jesus. No, we're going to, we're going to buy a team that plays on a boat. All right, so maybe some Westix, Westix League Division 1. We play a team that have the wrong type of studs for the surface. They've got moldy. when it's Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, that's us for sure.

Or they have like the kind of the pitch looks like the shit they have like a mini golf place, which is just that like plastic shit. That's all. Easter basket grass. It's old school. It's the Easter basket grass.

Alarious. We're like, yeah, man. We can do it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. If you play us in April, the Easter egg hunt. Yeah. Bro.

It's shocked. Also like all of our opposition like tears their ACLs on this thing because you're slipping and sliding bro there's no grip on this fucking thing. And it's designed that way. Our players, our players don't have ACLs. No, they're gone. They've been shaved and eaten by Chris.

They've been served at Warren Castle. They're quadrupeds. They're quadrupeds. They're more stable. Okay? Because To play crab, crab football where you do some bomb and you're like trying to shuffle. It's got to be cheap to get into the Crab Soccer League. Yeah.

Okay. Like, what can you? You could probably be able. I've been for like a thousand bucks, you can get your name on the, like, on the side of the stadium in most places. That's probably the most I can get to right now. I'm sorry I said crab soccer. Do they play, do little kids play crab football in the UK? Do they put on

like, do they get on the carts? We did a, wait, what do you mean on the carts? What's that? Okay, so you had me so you start talking about vehicles. You never seen these little, we used to play on like little vehicles, bro. This was like 93. What are you talking about? We were in like kindergarten.

That's a big plastic like. That's America's love. Like the, like the shit. that a trash can move the trash can't. So the janitor can move the trash can like the thing with the wheels. Yes. They used to have us sliding around. Making a football around on little

trash can cart. You know what that is? That's the car industry. Getting grips on kids from a young age just to let them know that you need to be in some form of car from even when you're playing football, you should be driving on a freeway. Screw public transport. Screw the planet.

Individual, yeah. Your individual cart. Go. Be free on our highways and byways. Moving on, Newcastle 1, City 3. Newcastle played all right, actually. And then, you know, Citt at Marmush, though, bro.

It's so funny. Like, he just comes out of notes. He's quiet and doesn't play for a long time. And then, boom, had some fucking that last goal he had was hit. So nice. He looks decent when he plays, doesn't he? But then he sort of one of those, I read he scored 14 goals, but seven of them against Newcast.

Yeah, right. Yeah, he's like, he's like what Eza is for us. Like, he's like, oh, yeah, like, I'm going to fuck this one team up real bad when I'm playing him for whatever reason. Was this the first game in a wild city didn't concede in the second half? Forget scoring. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. They actually, like, put together a full defensive second half.

That's pretty annoying. Mm-hmm. Yep, yep. But I don't know if you can read. When these results, I do think, I think the players, I might be. wrong. I'm not a professional footballer. Spoiler alert. But I do think when they play in these games, it's like

it must be quite nice. It's mentally a different thing to the league. It must be a nice break. When you're chasing a team, we're trying to keep the lead or trying to get in Europe or avoid relegation. It's a bit of fun. Obviously, we'd love to win it, but it's like the third most important competition. But yeah,

I mean, they started, the city started Savino, so, you know. Yeah. His finish. His finish was very funny. It was truly like the definition of right place, right time. But it's like, I don't even know, man. My foot was just fucking there. Literally my foot was there and it hit it.

Like, it's so funny to watch that replay in slow motion because like there's a little bit of movement in his heel where he's like, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Because he's Brazilian though, a bit of he's like, maybe he meant to do the most like casual finishable time. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just all backspin. So it just goes, just crosses the line and then comes back. Then just starts my son. Listen, every goal that Ramsdale gives up to is just like

gut-wrenching, heartbreaking, silly, stupid. Yeah. The way I watch Ramsdale is like I'm related to him. Like, I don't know if I would say he's my son, but it's like, it's like I'm watching my brother. Like you have his jersey on. Yeah, and I'm like, Lord, please just make it through this one match, Lord. With Ramsdale, though, I'm like,

I have this sort of thought as a, you know, I used to love him. And then he's that kind of mate. I love that guy. He's so good. He's such a good laugh. And then the more and more distant you get from him, you're like, he did say a few racist things actually. Right.

And he didn't pay for a, he never paid for a drink. And yeah, he did, you know, he's said some pretty inappropriate things about my wife's the back. Back side. Actually, just screw that guy. I'm glad he plays the Newcastle and he's stinking up the place. Oh, wow. Why did you get so angry at him with the distance? What is it?

Because he said stuff about my wife's backside in my high and fair collardium. And I called it a backside. I don't know why I called it a backside. Her backside. Lord. Yeah, when you say it like that,

I'm like, what's wrong with it? The only other time you use the phrase Is it like square shape? Yeah, yeah. What's up with it? A bit of mumbo. Do you guys use that phrase in America,

backside for bum? No, we do. We do. But it's more like a, like a threat. Like if you say, like, oh, I don't know. Like, if you're referred to the backside,

I'm going to hit you in your backside. I'm going to kick you all in your backside. That's more how I heard. It's more about it. It's more about child abuse. Yeah. Hind parts. Honorable mentioned a hind part.

Yeah, yeah. Or you're just behind. You're behind. Now I think about it. Ramsdale did threaten to, to hit my wife's backside if she continued her behavior. I've actually had a friend do that. It was like a mom.

My, listen, I, one of my guys that I went to high school with, okay. It's like this legendary Woodbridge Virginia story. He's hanging out with another girl from our high school and her mom. Another legendary Woodbridge Virginia story from Jim Bell Johnson. Yeah, put the graphic on this. Trademark. Yeah.

Put the shit. Put the Jim shot. All the listeners are like, they're listening this week. I hope there's another legendary Woodbridge. Oh, you know there is. Here's the theme music. It's time for another legendary Woodbridge. It's Virginia lore story.

Okay. Long story short, he's hanging out with this girl. We also went to school with and her mom. And the mom is hot. This is like a hot mom. She's got a fat butt. And I guess she was asking my guy like, hey, what do you think about, what do you think about this outfit I have on?

And my boy goes, you really want me to like talk about how fat your asses? You want me to start? Like, what do you want me to do? You want me to tell you how fat your butt is, ma'am? gets kicked out gets kicked out of where the school? This house

They're just hanging at the house Okay He was hanging at the house Yeah yeah yeah He just won't stop The mom kicks him out Yes the mom removes him And it's like well you did ask

How your ass looked in the jeans She freaked out Yeah he's short-circuited He's short-circuited And it just It went sideways I don't think they've spoken since Yeah that's probably how

In his mind He saw a lot of pornoes That started like that So he was like, fuck, what do I do? Yeah, he was like, what do you want me to do? You want me to like, grab your buck right now? Like, what's up? He said it just like that?

Yes. That's crazy, bro. Yeah. It was nuts. Fuck you mean how you look. What you want me to do? What do you want me to do? You just grip it from behind?

What do you want to do? You're doing a perfect impression as usual, bro. That's exactly what happened. Just so like inconvenient? Yeah, he was like this. What the fuck you're trying to do? You just want me to grab for your ass? Was he that?

her daughter or was he just hanging out of her? I think he was just hanging out. He might have been in the car. He said? Yeah, yeah. Wow. That's fucking how do I look. Saw the hot mom. Hot mom said, how do I look? And he spas. Anyway, that's it for

Woodbridge Corner. Wow, wow. Yeah, yeah. Okay, thank you. And that has been another moment. Next week. Next week, We'll be Woodbridge Virginia lore with Jamel Johnson. Next week we'll hear a story about when a dad asked his son's daughter how his chinos looked. Yeah. Yeah.

You know what happens. Oh, you want me to start beating your meat right here? Yeah. A giant dong. What was the time for? Yeah. You want to, what was it, a Yankee doodle time? What did you think it is?

So what? So what, then? So what then, Mr. Roberts? You want me tell you what the outline looked like? I can see the head. Anyway, we're just trying to watch Gilmore girls. Please keep it moving. Mansfield won Arsenal 2.

Wow. See, those are brilliant segues. We should get awards for that. That was a great match. Mansville, where they were saying, the oldest football ground in the world or some shit? Excuse me? Yeah.

Damn. The pitch looked as old as the castle grounds I was staying on. I will say that. Yeah, what the fuck? All this. They got a moat around us outside? But don't the fucking a lot? Oh, it's been the players got hit by an archer at any point during this.

Yeah. I like that the narrative on this game was that it was just a well-played, tough game. Like, truthfully, I felt like we could have had four. And everybody's like, hey, Dalman played great. I'm like, yeah, Dalman should have scored. What the hell? Yeah, yeah, he could have scored. I mean, he got me out of the match.

Him not scoring is the only thing. he's like every time he plays he looks insane like he i am like it's very hard to not be overly excited by a 16 year old but he genuinely looks like whoa can you say that again can you just say that run that back one more time you what hang on let me go virginia hey listen as your lawyer yeah don't you know what you're talking about how about like a 16 year old what oh shit he's so stupid so sorry i'm so sorry to everybody listening why do we do this what am i trying to Oh, yeah, Dalman not scoring is like, remember when Dembele never scored for Barcelona? Remember that stretch when he was at Barstin?

Like, everybody kind of hated him. A lot of dribbling highlights. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, sure. I'm like, what's the difference? Yeah, yeah, yeah, for real. No, but I mean, to Chris's point, it's very difficult not to be excited about this 16-year-old in terms of their footballing ability. He is good.

He gets to the spot soon. Yeah. He plays so, he moves so casually. that's what kind of freaks me out about him. He's so calm on the ball, and he has every single movement down. Like, there's no weakness in his touches. He's in total control.

When he had, there was one nutmeg he did on somebody, closing him down so quick. I'm like, bro, this guy, Max Dalman feels you coming in hot and you're going to get fucking skinned right now. And boom, he did. And then the guy took him down. But the way he dribbles, I'm like, God, bro. He dribbles like a, he looks like a swan, doesn't he?

He looks like a swan. swan. No, he's got it. You don't see any effort. He just moves across. He looks like he's protected. He looks like he's protected by the royal family. Or Christ or Jesus Christ.

You do not know that? If you kill a swan, you can be killed for treason or something. There's like, there's vaguely a rule of all about that. Swan is, was the queens. I mean, she's now dead. But there's the king now. But I think the swan is the, is a protected animal because they belong to the royal family.

Oh, wow. All of them, huh? So you just get to own all the swans? They just took all the swans, huh? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Not a surprise, they're all white. And if we know about the royal families.

All swans owned by car for the course, you know. What is swan upping? That's what the fuck is that? But it says, no, they do not own all the swans. Okay. Well, why would you ruin my made-up thing that someone told me by doing a simple fact check. Sorry, I just

the idea. I didn't mean to ruin it. I think it's what I'll believe. I didn't ruin it myself by saying the royal family own all the swans in the UK. And I love how not helpful I've been throughout the whole

story. Oh, shit. What else? Is there something to do with the royal family and swans? Is there any relation to swans and the royal family, have I got that wrong? Or is it geese? Is it geese?

different type of foul. No, apparently would be hilarious it is like, no, there's like a ton of people. It sounds like this is a commonly held belief.

Okay. But there is a, it says, no, they don't. If you stand outside Buckingham Palace and you cut a swan's head off,

they, the questions will be asked. They don't have a problem. They're going to, they might move. They might speak to you. You know the royal guards there who,

have you ever seen in the footage, they're not allowed to smile or laugh. They have to just get in their face and do stuff. Yeah, if you stood in front of one of them

and cut us, one's neck off. That man, he will take off his hat and punch him in place. I mean, that's, then that is a fact. I bet we could, I bet we could get one of them to laugh. I've seen videos where dudes have gotten them to laugh, like over really tough shit.

And I'm like, bro, that's it. You're coming with that. And you got to do it. Jamel just tells them a story from Woodbridge, Woodbridge. Yeah, you bring. I got something for him. You pull up with a fucking Bluetooth speaker, like, all right, man. Let me tell you if you heard this one before, okay? Let me paint the, let me, let me fucking.

and set the scene really quick. It's 1999. All right, this is at the height of the D.C. Sniper era, okay? Everybody's walking crazy to class and zigzags. A lot of zigzagging. This is how we walk, bro. You play the music,

you're walking like, this is how we walk. Let's start. Heel towing. Uh-oh. Yeah. All right. Let's take a break. Well, anything else before we go, we take a break.

I mean, great goes by the, Christ boys. A couple of great goals. Yeah, yeah, FC. Yeah, they did they think for the Lord. Yeah, great work. And also was nice for let's, you know, not to be too patronizing, but Mansfield is a difficult ground to go to.

They got, I think their chairman was trying to like fleece loads of Arsenal fans by charging them like 200 quid to get some exclusive seats where they got like a free pie or something like that I saw online. Wow. But no, they had their moment. They had their moment. The one all is exciting. Yeah, yeah, totally.

It was funny to see, like, in the crowd, they were showing, like, the chairman and his wife, and, like, they're so fucking posh. But, like, the ground is, like, just straight up old wooden bleacher type shit. So it was, like, for how glamorous they were given the state of the ground, it felt like maybe they put their Sunday best on for that one. It looked. They were like, oh, baby, we're here at the F.A. Cup. But I got splinters in my ass. They did have a look. They looked like they was about to, like, adopt, like, a fictional child or, like, you know what I'm saying?

Like, yeah. That family might adopt you if you score today. Yeah. I don't want to judge them, but they do look like they go to all-inclusive resorts, look for freshly married couples and then try and have sex with them. That's what they look like. Yeah. They're for sure looking for a third.

Have I been on an all-inclusive holiday of my wife? Where are some old people who look at that try to have sex with me and my wife? Maybe, yeah. Oh, man. Maybe I have. And who approached? Is it usually the woman coming at the woman? It's women coming at the woman usually, right?

Yeah, there was a funny one where we noticed there were swingers, and on the final day we're at the bar, it's a really nice Canadian couple who looked very much like that from Newfoundland, sort of remote part of Canada. Really nice. Newfis. We called them Newfis. We called them Newfis.

And they said, what? And I said, Dunnallamatta, something at Miles or something in the future, and we're drinking at the bar. And then I say, Sir Hannah, go, they're swingers. And she went, don't be so judgmental. Not everyone who's nice to us. And then 12 minutes later,

she came back from the piano where the wife was rubbing her bum and was like, yeah, they're sweet. Yeah. Wasn't subtle at all. How do you know? She was rubbing on my booty. She's rubbing my backside, mate. Wow.

Rubbing up on my backside. I asked her what I looked like in this dress and she said, do you want me to talk about how bad you? You want me to do? What the fuck you want me to say, bro? That that cake is busting out? The fuck you want me to do? Fucking crazy, man.

I'm sorry, guys. Fuck out of here, man. It's like y'all was in the room. Fuck you want me to do. How do you look in those jeans? Let me just say, you're fucking dumb thick, ma'am. I'm sorry, mother. All right, let's take a quick break.

We'll be right back. I'm Luke Wilson. Join me each week for Film Never Lies. Since retiring from the NFL, I've had a lot of my mind, and now I've got my own show. So if you're tired of lazy takes, if you want honest conversations, join us each week. Film Never Lies available on all TSN platforms. in the IHeart Radio app. Next Monday, our 2026 IHeart Podcast Awards are happening live at South by Southwest.

This is the biggest night in podcasting. We'll honor the very best in podcasting from the past year and celebrate the most innovative talent and creators in the industry. And the winner is... Creativity, knowledge, and passion will all be on full display. Thank you so much. IHeart Radio. Thank you to all the other nominees. You guys are awesome.

Watch live next Monday at 8 p.m. Eastern, 5 p.m. Pacific, free at Veeps. or the Veeps app. The more you listen to your kids, the closer you'll be. So we asked kids, what do you want your parents to hear? I feel sometimes that I'm not listened to. I would just want you to listen to me more often

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Brought to you by the Ad Council and Pivotal. I went and sat on the little ottoman in front of him. I said, hi, dad. And just when I said that, my mom comes out of the kitchen. She says, I have some cookies and milk. This is a badass convict. Right. Just finished five years.

I'm going to have cookies and milk at a mom. Yeah. On the Ceno Show podcast, each episode invites you into a raw, unfiltered conversations. about recovery, resilience, and redemption. On a recent episode, I sit down with actor, cultural icon Danny Trail, talk about addiction, transformation, and the power of second chances. The entire season two is now available to binge,

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The games may be over, but the NFL never stopped. This is my favorite part of the calendar. Yeah, mine too, Greg. Free agency, the combine. The NFL draft, Pro Days, trades. This is where teams reshape their future. This is where Daniel Jeremiah makes his money. On 40s and free agents, we break down every move that actually matters.

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And the Premier League is continuing to fry the circuits of Arsenal haters across the globe. It's funny now that we are seeing takes where the hate is so bad that now like the contrarian pundits are now being like, I don't know, something's going on with all this Arsenal hate. It's kind of crazy now. And this will be the same motherfuckers that were shitting on us at the beginning of the year saying like set piece FC things. I don't know. He was seen to step their game up. But anyway, Brighton-Nill, Arsenal won.

In the buildup, a lot of shit talking. from old Hursler saying, oh, you know, these guys, they take so much time and they're in brown, the set pieces, and we, ble, ble, ble, ble, ble, well, we go in there, Bucayosaka gets in there

the ninth minute, and we hold on, and we get the fuck out of there, we got our three points. I just want to say, before we get into the post match, how did the match look and feel? It wasn't a great,

it wasn't a great one to watch, you know what I mean? But at the end of the day, We did what the fuck we had to do. Yeah, I mean, the second half literally hurt to watch. I definitely almost had like a hernia. Just like watching like the last 10 minutes, it was so fucking stressful. But it's like, listen, bro, this is this is where we're at.

We're still dealing with injuries all over the field. Right. It's a tough win. Yeah. That's good. And I don't know what I was to say. A tough ground too. Yeah, no, I think I said on the last pod, right, I said if we win that one,

I'll start believing it's looking good for Arsenal. and I kind of had a sneaky hope Forrest would like do something against City but I didn't really believe it but I knew they had weapons to do something to City but um the Arsenal game it was a weird one because like I honestly think in the first off

we were really quite after we scored we were really quite awesome pretty bad they just couldn't string passes and it's been a common theme but then you look at all the games that Tuesday and Wednesday a lot of teams served up just eggy games because yeah at that point in season players tired they like it's like it's just trying to

get out of Dodge. And so, but weirdly in the second half, especially when Kai Humph- Yeah, true. Kai coming on did settle things. I can't act like that. And it just meant a ball,

like even stuff like Arsenal playing long, but he like wins, again, like, Gokores doesn't really win. No, no. And he's not going to hold it up. He's that great a hold-up. No.

So, and so even though we were Arsenal down 1-0, I never, in the first half, I did think I was like, Brian, I mean, they had a chance to lift the line

in the first two minutes. by Gabrielle. And then after Arsenal scored, they looked really confident. But in the second half, I didn't, they had the ball and they didn't have any.

I wasn't like, they had that one cutback when Minte got past Mascara who nearly on a yellow gave a penalty and got, but when that one, that went wide. And then apart from that,

they didn't really, no. I think Arsenal just at a point in the season where they're tired, they just wanted to get that win. And it's like they back themselves to contain and not concedes. It gets dangerous, you know, I hate doing that.

You know what I mean? Like, I hate when it ends up like that. But sometimes, you know what I mean? You just got to fucking do what you got to do. You know what I mean? I pray five times a day, bro. You know what I mean? That's the way you're going to get the three points, okay?

This is how we get the three points. McKellar did I think it said? That track is so crazy that they play that so much under the arsenal. Have you seen the memes with him looking like bin Laden and this shit? I'm going to be honest, dog. We win. I'm converting to Islam, dog.

I'm out, right? Oh, wait, hold on. There's two conditions. You said if we win, you're moving to Uganda. So you're going to Uganda.

I'm moving to Uganda. And you're converting. Yeah, I'm riding with Allah to the end. There you go. That's what's going to happen. Hey, look,

I'm famously unaffiliated. And I'm getting that freaky tattoo. I'm getting a Chicago PD. Chicago man tattoo on my, on my ribs. Now that, my sort of crystals, I've sort of put them on the backburn. I am in the market for a new religion.

Yeah, this is going to go. Crystals is a religion. This is going to go well. I think, like I said, from the beginning, us desecrating religious items is going to be. It's going to go well. It's going to go well. I think we should just invent our own religion. You know what I mean?

Then there is no, there is no offense that we can. I mean, Arsenalism is, it's almost at that level. Oh, hell you. It is. It is. Yeah, it makes. insane. Definitely.

The fundamentalists. I think, yeah, right? Yeah, look, people know. When we go up 1-0, get the prayer rugs out, I'm not playing. Fucking riding shit to the top. So, Hursler after sounded very, very salty. You guys want to play his post-match comments

because this was like the beginnings. Everyone would be like, yeah, exactly, dude. These guys are fucking wasted time. There was only one team who tried to play football today and therefore I'm proud how they did it. I asked one question, did you see in the Premier League game a goalkeeper going down three times? No? No. So I think we shouldn't waste too much words about that tonight.

We should focus on us. We should focus on our performance. We can't control these kind of things. I think therefore the Premier League has to find the rule. Where will this go in the future? That's my question. Where will this go? Like at one game we play 60 minute

And then when you play against Arsenal only 50 minutes Then it's 10 minutes different So is this Yeah okay You don't want to pull up the stats on the ball being play Tell you what mate You know what Artetta should have done Throw him over his left shoulder

Because that is some salty shit And then that's the luck we need to win the league Yeah He sounds like he's apparently quite unpopular anyway And he's just a whiny whiny windback Your team is like 15th. He's won what, like twice in 10 games. Get your mother fucking house in order.

Don't worry. Why are you worried about us? We're at the top. Focus on your shit, man. Speaking at our house, these fools are sponsored by Casimi St. Cloud, Florida. I know, on their sleeve. That's the funny issue to be.

Bomb-ass vacation. Sponsorship ads. Is that time shares? Is it timeshares? Basically, is time share area? It's Florida. It's a good place for swingers. It's one of those places in America that you will always see random ads for,

but have never thought of going to. But it's always kind of ambiently around. People are like, come to Kissimmee. And the ads always, you know the ads is not accurate. Like it's a guy wind sailing. And it's like, I'm going to go to Kissimmee St. Cloud. And a guy on Bath salts is going to swing a knife at me. Exactly.

It's not going to go like this. Yeah, a doorless Jeep flying a Confederate flag is going to say. something at an interracial couple trying to ask me if I'm lost yeah yeah yeah saying you know you know where you're at boy oh what the fuck is this anyway um so the whole like idea there's a lot of people came on this thing it's like yeah there's something has to be done a time wasting is crazy a lot of places have you know like the athletic shout out to them they put a lot of data together a lot of places I put data together to be like guys this is this is completely fabricated like this narrative of like this is arsenal just does this thing I think because

Herscheler said before, he's like, watch what happens when they go up 1-0. They'll hold on to the ball forever. They do this all the time. They do this all the time. And Biden had the ball. I don't know. I thought Biden had more possession in the second half after we scored. They did.

But I mean, I think aside from that, right, like if you look at the entire scene, like goalkeepers, right? And you're talking about how long, like if you want to talk about time wasting, right? A lot of that people are talking about, well, how long the goalkeepers have the ball for you got to blow the whistle. For Brugan is second most in the league. after lemons at United. David Raya is third from the bottom in terms of time taken because that's, we play differently.

I don't know. And like with the corner kick thing is we take long for corners if it's nil, nil, if we're down one nil, if we're up three nil. You know, that's just how it is because we're running the fucking set play for our set pieces. So it's not really this idea that it's a tactic to somehow make up for our lack of true footballing ability because that's really what they're trying to get at is to say that like you're only winning because you do this rather than you're dominating nearly every fucking phase of play and making it possible for teams to operate. I think I think that Brighton actually played really

well. He could have just been if he wasn't such a little whiny McWinerson then he could have been like my team played well we just didn't we lacked a bit of cutting edge because that's kind of true but they they really did like a kind of a number on us in retainer. in the ball and they made us play not ideally how I don't think I don't think Arta's set a team up to play like that I just think a lot of Thai players and they just resort into what they thought they could do but he just he just he just sounds like an a hole so yeah that guy well just I gotta go back and check the old clips I got it because remember when Artetta was like go back and listen to what this motherfucker says after we beat

them every damn time I haven't gone back and check the old Hertzler clips I'll check that later check yeah tune in next week for the Hertz's update thanks for the six thanks for the six points and thanks for taking five off City. Appreciate it. That's nice. Hey, salute, man. Salute to you. And shout out Danny Wellback. I like that he came and applauded the away fans, you know, got his love too, because we'll always

love Danny Welb. We like Danny Welbett. That 2016 season, when we came close, like, with Lester, I still remember that fucking Valentine's Day. On Valentine's Day? Yeah, I mean, and also under the guise of, I have a surprise for you, and she did not think it was going to be going to watch Arsenal that day. Let's just say that. The Arsenal,

a match is the one you went to. Oh my God, where Danny fucking bra. Oh, that was like, I'll never forget that match. That was such a fucking beautiful feeling and that, that was a moment. I was like, maybe, guys, maybe. They in fact did not.

It was, but anyway, Arsenal for years, as we've said, have been called soft and not gritty and not grinding it out. And now that Arsenal do that, everyone hates it and they can't deal with it. Yeah. And screw them. It's just, I don't know, it's so transparent when you have no logical criticism.

You know what I mean? Because all of the emphasis being like, well, they did this. Nobody's fucking talking about all the other like fucking bum-ass clubs around us that are dropping dumb fucking points too. Like why are you worried about how long we're taking, like supposedly, you know, the narrative that you're pushing about that. And you're not talking about fucking city falling apart against the team that's in a relegation scrap. I know. Fucking worry it. Like, what the fuck? Again, because I think it just, I think it just shows how, like, on a cellular level,

people just do not want to see Arsenal win. And I think they prefer Arsenal to be this, like, banter club that always gets close enough. And then they can always say ha, ha, ha, about them. Like, whatever. Yeah, man. People like us better when we was fucked up in Ashy, man. Yeah. That's what they want.

They want to see us down bad doing clown shit. Exactly. Exactly. Arsenal, we're the school nerd who now owns a massive corporation and won't hire you. Yeah. And now we're doing surveillance capitalism on everybody. And now we control everything. Welcome to hell, motherfucker. Yeah.

Exactly. And we're drinking your blood. Sorry. Yeah. It is what it is. And we're having massive parties with loads of attractive swingers and you're not invited. And you're not invited. But for you, you have a different set of laws that you will abide by.

We will live in our personal. freedom lifting silverware at every possible moment. Okay, to be critical of us, I will say this. Mascara on the road is an issue. That's where he, he's great. He's great. And this is his first year in the prim. So it's like, the expectation should already be like limited,

but his bad games are all on the road. I don't think he likes English criticism. Something about English yelling is, it's spooky. It throws them off. It's spooky. Because you go from like the comfort of the Emirates to any, you know, any club that doesn't have full-blown, you know, wonderful facility. The texture's different.

The vibe is definitely different. He does not like it. I know that. To your point note, I was worried about Arsenal even being able to win the game without Saliba. Because Saliba, every is hyped Gabriol. But Saliba is just quietly the best center back in the league. The way he progresses the ball, where he never looks phased. when he doesn't play for Arsenal,

I think the win percentage is like just dips massively. We lost the league two years ago because he was gone. Yeah, yeah, exactly. So he's one of our main ball progressors. You lose him, but still gritted out the result. And that's what it's about at this point in the season. And yeah, Muscaro maybe he's just showing his youth a little bit.

It's kind of business end and he's in Capier, though. That dog, that dog is driving the car. He's doing well right now. Yeah, you know what? I fuck with this dog. Yeah. That dog is like a human. That dog's driving Uber.

That dog deserves right. Yeah. I'm going to ask him for a ride. Yeah. You might give me a ride? Yeah, I'm fine. Yeah, you're drunk. That's okay.

I trust you. Great. He's quietly become one of the best, like, left backs in the league. His duels, like, duels one percentage. You know, you know, Artetta's loving that. He's first in the league. Yes. Completion first.

Forward pass completion first. Short pass completion first. Possession first. Possession first. Possessions one versus lost. Second. Okay. Progressive pass accuracy, third.

Pass completion to the final third. He's... Ain't a few goals in there, too? Yeah, he's in there. He's in there. He's... God bless him. But to the set piece thing, apparently, like, the Premier League is they're having meetings about set piece goals and holding in the penalty area is something that's happened. I get the holding in the penalty area because, like, yeah, there's some cynical shit going on.

We do it while other teams do it. If you're going to call it, then like start really calling that shit. but like the ubiquity of set piece goals is such a weird way to be like they're scoring to I don't understand like this is the other agenda is like are there too many set pieces this feels like anything when the game evolves any sport when a team starts to do something differently people always shit on it or be like this the game's gone like this is like when people started like shooting threes like the emphasis on three pointers in the NBA and people like this is fucking dumb it's a trick.

Now you have a league that has so much parity that it's actually, it makes it very competitive. I think the real thing with the set pieces and stuff for like the idea about the game becoming stale, I think also just speaks to how much money is in the Premier League that to go down is absolutely, it can be fucking life or death, like losing out on that money. So you're going to, you're going to play in a different way because so much fucking money, is riding on. I think that's the other really underrated aspect of what the mindset is for a lot of teams too, just surviving and what that looks like when they play better teams. Because sometimes the games are open depending on the opposition. And other times, you know, people are like,

we're fighting for our fucking life. And yeah, some people are going to play a little bit more desperate and it might not be as open. Yeah, man, they fucking, they had to lock shit down. It is, what is this, a billion dollar, two billion dollar, ten billion dollar league? Right. It's nuts. Yeah, they're saying 27% of Premier League goals have come from set pieces, excluding penalties. And I bet, and I, listen, I hope that they change the rules. I bet it'll make it easier for us to play, honestly. Yeah, yeah. You know, but Artetta, like, he, like, predicted this a few years ago.

He, like, he's, that's again why people sort of think he's, he doesn't, he just under, do you see him in an interview? Is it long? After the Chelsea game and he was like, yeah, you used to just like invert a full. back or you'd have a false nine and then you have an extra man, the overload, but then teams are too clever and they worked out. It's like everyone is good. They all have

the analysis, so you can't just do that now. You have to find margins everywhere. Yeah. Yeah, he's my lord and savior is all I'm saying. Right. And I'll do anything he says to me. He's out here. You know what I mean? He's got it figured out, dude. He's got it figured out. He's got it figured out.

Those memes still fucking kidding. Happy Ramadan. Happy there, everybody. Hell yeah. I'm Luke Wilson. Join me each week for Film Never Lies. Since retiring from the NFL, I've had a lot of my mind, and now I've got my own show.

So if you're tired of lazy takes, if you want honest conversations, join us each week. Film Never Lies, available on all TSN platforms in the IHeart Radio app. Next Monday, our 2026 IHart podcast awards are happening live at South by Southwest. This is the biggest night in podcasting.

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IHeartRadio. Thank you to all the other nominees. You guys are awesome. Watch live next Monday at 8 p.m. Eastern, 5 p.m. Pacific, free at Veeps.com or the Veeps app. 14 years in prison for killing a young woman. A 15-year sentence for a crash that caused three deaths. 12 and a half years for killing a child

and critically injuring her mother. All true stories, all caused by marijuana impaired drivers. No matter what you tell yourself, if you feel different, you drive different. So, if you're high, just don't drive. Brought to you by NHTSA and the Ad Council. I went and sat on the little ottoman in front of him. I was, hi, Dad.

And just when I said that, my mom comes out of the kitchen, And she says, I have some cookies and milk. This is a badass convict. Right. Just finished five years. I'm going to have cookies and milk at mom. Yeah. On the Ceno Show podcast, each episode invites you into a raw, unfiltered conversations about recovery, resilience, and redemption.

On a recent episode, I sit down with actor, cultural icon, Danny Trail, talk about addiction, transformation, and the power of second chances. The entire season two is now. available to bench featuring powerful conversation with the guests like Tiffany Addish, Johnny Knoxville, and more. I'm an alcoholic. And without this trouble, I'm going to die.

Open your free I-Heart radio app. Search the Cito Show. And listen now. I'm Daniel Jeremiah. And I'm Greg Rosenthal. And this is 40s and free agents. The games may be over, but the NFL never stopped.

This is my favorite part of the calendar. Yeah, mine too, Greg. free agency, the combine, the NFL draft pro days, trades. This is where teams reshape their future. This is where Daniel Jeremiah makes his money. On 40s and free agents, we break down every move that actually matters. From my draft evaluations, mock drafts, and team fits. To my top 101 free agents and how real rosters are built,

cap space, contracts, and all the tough decisions included. You got quarterbacks on the move? We got teams rebuilding. It's hope season. Yeah, absolutely. It's hope season. you what's real, what's noise, and what it means for your favorite team. Smart analysis, real conversations every week.

I don't know about the smart, but definitely analysis. Listen to 40s and free agents on the IHeart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Speaking of, right, sure, you can talk about is the game gone or whatever. The Arsenal is winning because it's Man City to Forest Two. You're at the fucking Etty had and you're playing a team that's fucking fighting for their lives and you get pieced up at your own house. Yeah, this is what happens when you try to play nice free flower. You cannot, there cannot be a flow anymore, man.

The Premier League. That Elliot Anderson goal was so fucking beautiful. Oh, my God. But also showed City, right? Rodry, he's not quite look the same as he since his ACL, since his knee got served up in in Warren Castle. He's still passing really well. He still passes the bar really well, but his, yeah.

But that space that Elliot Anderson gets off the one, too, and then, I mean, what a great goal. But yeah, that kind of goal, and then the goal they concede is like, they kind of had the numbers back for the, um, Gibbs White. Yeah, Gibbs White. Yeah. What a finish that was, by the way. Yeah.

I was going to ask how you rate with that one, Chris. What do you think of that one? Oh, I love that. I love a little, as is an improvised finish. Yeah. It's not the only way he could score, really. I mean, I don't know. I just, I love a goal like that.

It's like, it doesn't look. It's like bounces off someone's, It's a nutmeg. It's a backheeled nutmeg. It's a goal, but it kind of looks a bit janky, so he doesn't get a lot of as much hype as like a scream from outside the box. But what a clever,

clever boy. Yeah. Well, especially like cross your leg, like the way he's backkeling it like that. He's literate with the ball, like most of these players. Phil Foden, though, bro.

He's, I don't know what the fuck happened. He is not looking what he needs to look like, especially for the responsibility that was supposed to be on his shoulders with DeBreino leaving too. He's not. I just don't think he's like, now and then Prem, you need to be, you need to, what can, Phil Fodenon can hit a ball from outside of the books

nicely right now and again. He doesn't, he's not big enough. He's not a great passer. He can beat, he can, well, hold on. Remember that one, that one for Eza on the absolute team. Oh, come on now. That one pass, that Phil Foden has the greatest pass ever delivered. The one pass.

Yeah, where everyone was like, well, yeah, no emphasis on the black player who finished it beautifully. Everything on Phil. Oh, what, that passed, though. He just laid it all. England's. Phil Foden's also protected by the royal family. He's like, he's the swan of the entity. Every Phil Foden. Every Phil Foden is owned by the,

the royal families that I have heard that. And actually, I think we may end up in the stockades if we keep this up, uh, talking about him. I think that might also be a crime. But yeah, no, he doesn't, he doesn't look at, he doesn't look. He's not going to, he's not, he's not, he's not, he's not, he's not,

Semenio is the reason if they're going to they're going to like win it is going to be why I mean that guy is yeah he's already like their most important player as well as Roderie and and Harland he's so he scores it Ah Semenio Yeah

I can't do it with the Lion King song Every game the guy scores every game Every fucking time Um Anything else or should we look downward Just to go into Just before we do that That last few minutes when I saw

the clearance off the line. Oh my God. The clearance of the line, firstly the penalty on Harlan. That should be a penalty, right? That should be a penalty. Yeah. That was a funny, like,

I mean, I don't want to be on Bernardo Silver's side when he was like, I was like, that's very surprising that wasn't a penalty. But I think, Harland did kind of,

a lot of strikers do that. They kind of leave their leg near the goalie. They kind of know what they're doing. Yeah, yeah. Maybe he didn't do it quite stylishly enough. But yeah, the clearance off the line,

I'm so glad I wasn't watching that game because I'm still watching Arsenal Brighton game, but I would have, uh, I would have, what I did was I switched, right? Because our match ended, then the away end erupted because the, the final whistle had just gone in the city match. But by the time I was able to like switch it over, you know, like it was on peacock or some shit. By the time it loaded, it was like the last I was, it was watching the last 20, 40 seconds of it. And I was like, what do? It still felt like they almost could have done it. But it, that was so fucking stressful just off the goal line.

everything fucking mattered. Again, that match with that result, it really felt like now I'm getting, I'm getting excited. I'm getting really excited. I'm getting seven points now. Seven is good. I'm excited just from the fact that we don't have to win

at the Eddie hat now. I don't think it's over. I actually like, every time we get a big result, I look ahead like four or five weeks. And I'm like, fuck, man. Every team we play is like in form all of a sudden. Everton is won like their last three legs.

Everton are good away from home. Yeah, I mean, the one I keep looking at on City's fixtures is like, we've talked about our favorite manager, Rossini, a lot. But I think that Chelsea will beat City at home. And like Jal Pedro is on fire. Right. Yeah, he's flying.

He's done well. The only man and he can't beat is Artetta for some reason. But because it's like, he's just like the bigger. He's the original LinkedIn king. Yeah, when you're copying someone's homework, they got to go, watch this. I'm going to give you a couple of bum answers. And they're like, what? Yeah, because you copying me, bro.

I got you figured. I don't worry about it. Because, yeah, Everton at home, I mean, like, looking at how those fixtures played out last year, we won at home against Everton last season, not to say that that's what's going to happen now. But if we can continue, you know, with these results, we, who, like you said, every week, Chris, we're three points closer to knowing what's going to happen. We are getting closer each week. I can say that.

With confidence. With confidence. Should we now look past our gaze to the southern hemisphere of the table? Well, yeah, because forest drawing, I was like, well, that's a good. That's a good result at the bottom for forest. Oh, okay. So now you got a point. And then they got a point.

And then I saw West Ham. Mm-hmm. Was it Cresensio? Crescensio Somerville. Yep, with an assist from Jared Bowen. That's so funny, though. Fulham beating Tottenham. And then losing to West Ham is just, I think, should scare them.

Just by that metric. You know what I mean? They're like, yeah, okay, okay. Well, this is what it is. Yeah, so then with West Ham winning, that means now the fucking bottom of the table tightened up real, real nice, right before the Tottenham Palace match, meaning Spurs are on 29 points.

Forest with that draw got to 28. West Ham with that win got to 28. So now they are one point off West Ham. They are now. Of Tottenham. Yeah, yeah, sorry, sorry, yes. And then they're going into this match against Crystal Palace starts off like you would hope as a Spurs fan.

They fucking score first for the first time in a long time. And they're feeling good. Then within, this was probably the great. craziest, like, nine-minute stretch I've seen where you saw a team go from, okay, maybe we're going to turn this around to like, fuck it, I'm going to actually set my house on fire when I get home. Like, this is all fucked up. I don't want to see this anymore.

Because after the Solonki-Slanke goal, Mickey Vandevan gets sent off in a way that would, I was even a little bit like, bro, don't, you might have to just let this guy fucking have a shot. otherwise you're going to be sent off and that's going to be going to go. Going 10 men down and giving them a penalty isn't as bad as them equalizing and you still have 11 men on the pitch. But he just fucking lost it. So he's gone. Ismail a Sars scores a penalty.

And then before the half ends, they scored two more goals to make it 3-1. And the stadium fucking basically completely emptied. And it was very, very grim, very grim and delicious. How long until that stadium is a parking lot? 30 years, 40 years, maybe 50? They can't afford it, bro. There's too much capital going on there. There's absolutely.

That's crazy hate by me. Truth be told, I think all they have to do is actually win one game this year. Right. They'll come up with a couple draws, right? And they'll get the shit beat out of them a lot, right? But if they win one game, will this? There's something very funny about getting a new manager and it being like, This is way, well.

Yeah. No balance at all. I mean, like, this is fucked up. Jamie O'Hara, Jamie O'Hara is leaving the talk sports studio. There's, what was that thing? Was it, Jamel you sent about where someone on Reddit was like, was that you mind? Oh, my God. No, Jamel said that.

Bro, people are hoping. They're rooting for war on wars. The Iranian war is, um, slim chance of World War III starting this should happen and Premier League will be canceled, saving Johnnham from relegation, awesome running lake. They want Winston Churchill to come back? What's up with these guys? I don't know what the fuck.

This is such a crazy take. That post was called, this season is still salvageable. And you're like, okay, maybe they're talking about appointing some kind of other crisis, man. This motherfucker said, it earned it the last time a season in a top flight league in England was canceled was the 1939-40 season when England entered World War 2 on September 3rd. I bet this sounds like some shit.

Like a desperate fan. Half the league was in the army then. You fucking dummies. It feels like some shit you prompt AI to be like, what are some possibilities here? And like the AI is like, I mean, one time the league was canceled because of World War II. Okay, so guys,

we all need to pray for World War III. So we're not relegated. I like the idea of like the Tottenham team having to sort of control drones. Like, Sri Lanky and that is in charge. But they're so bad at it. Like it ends up. and shooting him. It ends up bombing their own stadium or something.

Solanke's Arsenal, like, fandom comes out. Oh, shit. He starts dropping bombs on the Tottenham training ground. Dominant, you just did a drone strike on Christian Romero's dog. Yeah. Sorry. My bad. I thought it was a start opportunity.

I've heard wild things. People are like, we got to bring a hairy red nap back now. And I'm like, from Cheltenham? How are you going to get him to leave that gig? Yeah. that guy loves his horses. I think he's turning. I think he's 80.

Yeah, he's so fucking old. Dude, and nobody even, none of those players remember the Harry Rednapp era of Spurs probably. They're like, I don't know, bro. I remember Potch and forward. Still people being like, we need Potch. We need Sam Allardyce. I don't know what the fuck y'all need.

The problem was you fucked up when you didn't build off of that team that got to the Champions League final. And then subsequently let every player leave and didn't replace them. And you're doing, this is what happened to us too. You had a team that fucking really did something. We had the invincibles. And then we just ended up not replacing any of those key positions in terms of how

those players contributed to our style of play. Like we were dying for a Vieira replacement for fucking 90 years, basically. Every summer we talk about some magical holding midfielder that we'd be obsessed about. And in the same way, they let all their goal scores go. And this is like, it's death by a thousand. and cuts. And that's where you're at now. Part of me did feel, I was like, damn, if they get relegated, we won't be able to, like, we won't have like a Darby where we can just rub this shit in their faces if we end up coming away with some silverware this year. But then I realized, too,

no, no, no, if they go down, you will never live that down. You will never live that down. You got to. You got to go down. You got to. The financial hit, though, that's what's crazy, I was just reading, like a lot of people were like, I think aside from the Arsenal thing and is there so much time wasting or they're holding onto the ball, they negative with the game? I think the most talked about thing was all the ways people are talking about how Tottenham could end up going down forever if they don't get their shit together. The biggest thing is the finances. The BBC said that they were standing, they could lose as much as $261 million if they go down. I'm going to ask you guys, this is a math question for sure. Now, Tottenham's still in the Champions League.

And they mathematically have a chance to win the Champions League. That's not impossible. So what the hell happens when they win the Champions League and get relegated? Have we dealt with this? Like, is the UN going to have to step in? I think what you're, I think, you said they have a mathematical possibility, but I actually think it's impossible because it is, it is Tottenham. And they're not going to do it.

They can't. that they defy mathematical equations. They can't even get the new manager bounce. And I know you're taking it serious, Chris. I can see you with an abacus out. I know you're running the number. Let me just,

I mean, let's see. Hold on, just got that. Carry the three. Run some numbers. And then, yeah,

yeah, they're not doing that. They're not going to do that. They're not going to do that. They're not doing that. They're not doing that. Because that just seems awkward. What are they going to do when they fucking pull up?

They got to play Athletico Madrid next. Okay? And you know Diego Semione. it's playing, bro. You're not able to handle them. You can't even, you can barely score. I ain't going to break down at Simeone team. Mate, I'll tell you this.

If Tottenham do do that, I'm going to get a tattoo of Grey's Anatomy season 23 on my face. Yeah. Just a full face tattoo of the... The cast or just the logo? Yeah. Just whatever the logo of Grey's Anatomy season, is it 23? How many seasons that show that?

of me at least. Yeah, why did you pull that knowledge out? Do you a big Shonda? Shonda head? He might be down. Yeah. The other thing, though, too, is they said that for Spurs going down, ticket revenue is going to get fucked up. The thing with the, you know, because you're going to be playing four more home matches in the championship,

that could cut down on availability for the stadium, which obviously the owners, they're really there to make money on the stadium. Because they're going to lose the NFL bag? Oh, no. It could fuck up the NFL bag, right? If they're like, whoa, we're trying to have this game on this. day and they're like, well, we have kind of a fucked up schedule on the championship. But at the end of the day, it

sounds like financially, it's the NFL games. It's something like one, the revenues from one NFL game at Tottenham Hotspur Stadium is like five home matches combined. You know where I'm going. This has been they playing the whole time. They saw the revenue from that first Jaguars

game and said, we are an American football team. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Get that shit here now. These bum-ass Spurs fans, bro, they're tripping. And they don't want to pay the sixth most expensive ticket prices in Europe for absolute garbage football weekend a week in a week. What the fuck is wrong with them?

And then the sponsorships would take a hit too because a lot of the sponsors have penalties for like being going like for relegation. Like Nike's going to be like, bro, we're not trying to fucking make no championship. It's fuck out of here. Or even AIA, their shirt sponsor, like the money gets cut up very quickly if they're relegated. I just keep thinking of, you know, have people stick in your mind. Beginning of the season I was playing in a game of football

that got stopped early because one guy was, I think I've mentioned this to you guys before, he just kept complaining and he made it not very fun. A different guy who wasn't that, but is a big Tottenham fan was just harping on, he goes, goes, hey, Cudus, Cudus, he's so strong, he is so strong. He goes, across the field, cross the park.

We've got, we are, honestly, we're going to be a match for Arsenal this year. And I kept like, you know, when you don't really know, someone was talking a lot. And I want to trip in and go, well, I don't, I don't know. You kind of, dumb. But I think that's, yeah. He then, he then in a half-time team talk said,

guys, just stop kicking the ball in the air. We want to just get, we want to use the, use the field as a canvas and just paint across it, paint brushes across it, paint brushes across it. Anyway, we lost by about four goals. But that was, that was, he's, sort of manifested us losing and he manifested our bad.

Code is so strong, so strong. He's so hard to get the ball off. Mate, he's injured every week. Yeah. He can't even get the ball on him, let alone off him. Yeah, baby. I don't know.

I just know the confidence is going down, down, down, down. It looks so bad. Like, the way they play, the other thing is, too, like you feel like Solanky. He's been in. in the trenches before.

So he knows what it's like to to be dangerously near the bottom of the table. We're Charleston with Everton also has some experience there. But I think a lot of like playing at Tottenham, there's probably the idea. It's like, well, that'll never happen to us. So even if we phone it in, we'll end up not, well, we can probably be mid table phoning it in.

But now they're phoning it in and they're in a relegation scrap. And then on top of it, I'm sure, because a lot of these players, I think they don't give a fuck enough about the club anyway. They're like, bro, why am I here? And now this is all this relegation shit. Y'all didn't sign anybody. Everyone's fucking hurt. No, like the managers y'all pick fucking suck.

Man, fuck this place. And like, it feels like, you know when you go to like a retail store that's about to shut down for bankruptcy, but like, you don't, like, it's not advertised yet. And you're like, this motherfucker about the blows. Like, bro, the employees in. Yeah. Yeah, the employees in here are help. They're giving you a shopping bag. Yeah, yeah, bro, take whatever the fucking want.

I don't give a fuck. Just steal it. That's what it. That's what these spurs players. the players feel like. Sounds like the Woodbridge Big Lots. Now wait,

what happened at the Woodbridge Big Lots? I'm just like you do just guys just stealing stuff. One time I went in there they had a crate of Seattle Seahawks nightlights and I did,

you know what I'm saying? I did what I had to do. Seattle Seahawks nightlights. What? It was just like the logo that you plug in and the helmet, yeah, light up helmet for little kids.

I'll tell you all that's so cute. Trying to flip those. It didn't go. well. It didn't go well. But hey, I didn't get caught. Yeah, I mean, completely wrong market. You're in fucking Virginia. Like, yeah, you know some Seahawks and nightlights. hilarious.

hilarious. Oh, shit. Well, look, Spurs, it's going to be tough. You're going to Anfield next. And then you're playing Nottingham Forest at home. That one is going to be fucking Game of the year. I will be tuned in.

Yeah, that's the Super Bowl right now. That's going to be, that's going to be, so many awesome fans watching it. Oh, my. Like, maybe we should go to a time. We should. You know what I mean? Tickets probably cheat.

Yeah, we could get in. It's easy. Honestly, I've, I've, I've messaged any person I've ever met in my life trying to get Arsenal tickets for the time I'm over here. Yeah. Trying to get us some tickets as well. And it's not as easy as when Arsenal were in their banterer. I'll tell you that.

No, it isn't. I don't know. The word is out. The prices for the Fulham match are fucking astronauts. That's on May 2nd because that's two matches after the city game and then Cossiti plays after us. They play Burn. There's a, there's potential, you know, right now that prices are being like, some shit might go down.

I don't know about that. We've all been burned by this before though, so we have to be much more measured. Exactly. Exactly. Hopefully it will happen. All right, y'all. Well, that's going to do it for us this week. Can I just do one shout out for that, a solar goal, the guy from Newcastle,

Oh, yeah. That was serious goal. That was such lazy defensive. Like, McGuire felt like, come on, bro, don't shoot. Oh, fuck. Is that what? Yeah. It felt like, come, ah, the game was almost over.

When you had to go and fucking try and try for real. Scoring a winner for 10 men. That looks like that. Good on it. He wouldn't have to buy a paint for himself, a new gasol for the rest of the year. There you go. Y.I. Chris Martin, anything to plug?

No. All right. Hell yeah. What about you, Jamel, aside from Seahawks Nightlight? Yeah, I still got a few of those left. Also, on the road, April 26th in San Francisco and Lost Church. Check that out. Okay. And some more dates, Broccoli House on Instagram. And salute to Port Vale in Southampton getting them upsets today. Yeah. Google search Shaggin, P. Dawson, Southampton. Just search those words as a phrase. And enjoy. Enjoy, y'all. That's true. And enjoy the rest of your week.

We'll be back where, again, we will be one step closer to the edge. And I'm about to break. All right. See y'all. Bye. Bye. Next Monday, our 2026 IHeard podcast awards are happening live at South by Southwest. This is the biggest night in podcasting.

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