The Daily - Marriage and Sex in the Age of Ozempic: An Update

Episode Date: December 26, 2025

This week, The Daily is revisiting some of our favorite episodes of the year and checking in on what has happened in the time since.In the past few years, GLP-1 weight-loss drugs like Ozempic and Zepbound have been radically reshaping the people’s lives, changing appetites and health.But the drugs also have the power to affect other parts of consumers’ lives, including their romantic relationships.Lisa Miller, who writes about health for The New York Times, tells the story of how these drugs upended one couple’s marriage.Guest: Lisa Miller, a domestic correspondent for the Well section who writes about personal and cultural approaches to physical and mental health.Background reading: Listen to the original version of the episode here.Weight-loss drugs have lesser-known side effects on relationships.Photo: Katherine Wolkoff for The New York TimesFor more information on today’s episode, visit nytimes.com/thedaily. Transcripts of each episode will be made available by the next workday.  Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

Hey, it's Rachel. This week, we were visiting some of our favorite shows from the year, listening back and hearing what's happened in the time since then. Today, we return to the story of one married couple's experience with GLP1 drugs and how the use of weight loss medications like Ozempic can impact how people see themselves and their closest relationships. It's Friday, December 26th. Lisa, I don't think it's an understatement to say that we, in 2020, 25 are in the middle of this, what feels like kind of a weight loss revolution in the United States. And of course, we're talking about these drugs that everybody's probably heard of, Ozympic, Ugovi, Monjaro. I think most people know somebody who's been transformed

by them. Maybe a lot of people themselves have actually had some experience with them. Yeah, it's a revolution in how we look. It's a revolution in our health. It's got gigantic potential to help people who have not been able to be helped before. The data show that one in eight Americans has tried one of these drugs. Like, I have a friend who takes the medicine, and he says, you know, if you are able to eat just five French fries, and you used to not be able to eat just five French fries, it gives you grounding in the idea that you can control things in your life that you didn't think you could control. So what else can you control?

Can you control the way you relate to your children, the way you talk to your boss? And what really interested me was this question of how the GLP1 drugs affected a marriage, especially when one partner is on the drugs and the other partner isn't. How did you go about trying to find the right people to talk to, to satisfy that question? Right. Well, we at the times have a thing called a call-out

where you ask the public a question and then we get responses to that question. And the question was this. Has a GLP1 drug like OZempic and subsequent weight loss, changed your relationship. And I was getting all of these responses, and one jumped out at me.

He wrote, I believe it has changed a few things. Less alcohol consumption, smaller meal portions, improved health outcomes. But I believe GLP1 has affected my wife's libido, no interest in sex.

Perhaps due in part to image issues? Also increased mood swings on her part. And I thought, There's a lot between the lines here. And so I called them up, and they agreed to participate in the story as long as I used their middle names. Javier. Javier. So he is Javier and she is Jean.

J-E-A-N-N-E. They live in New England in sort of a nice suburb. We celebrated our anniversary a few days ago. They had been married for 15 years. And I think maybe it's helpful to talk first about what their relationship. was like before the drugs. And it goes back to high school. Junior year is when I met her.

So it takes us to 1987. They both grew up in Sacramento. What did you notice about her? Like what made you like her? Her personality. Very outgoing. Great smile. Well, I thought he was cute.

But she was like in a bigger body and excruciatingly self-conscious about that. So always felt. awful, never felt attractive. And he had a crush on her. There have been times in my life where, you know, someone was actually flirting with me or trying to come on to me, and I just don't register the signs because I feel so uncomfortable in my own body. So even though she had a crush on him, too, she wouldn't believe it.

They were unrequited high school sweetheart. And they each married other people. What happened was that my first marriage was coming to an end. My first marriage had just ended. And then our 20-year reunion was coming up that fall. And I told her that it'd be great to connect and have a cup of coffee. They told me about their first date. The cup of coffee ended up being a dinner and some beers.

And they both told me about the first time that they, they had sex. The way he talked about it was just as this unbelievably magical, uninhibited interaction. She didn't say, don't look at me, or I'm ashamed at this, or the other, or my boots are too big, or my butt's too big. There was never any talk of that. So I kind of thought that she was happy in her body. Mm-hmm. And other women that you had been like that.

And I'm running the story by the both of them. And she was like, I don't exactly remember it that way. Now, we know that they eventually get together, right? They get married. Yeah, they move to the East Coast where she gets big jobs in corporations. She's the earner. You get the sense that they fit each other's romantic fantasies. And they're extremely sexually attractive.

to each other. It's a big part of their identity as a couple. They have a child. They settle into a life where they both love food. They love wine and they get a big wine fridge in their dining room. Living the dream. Totally. They're doers, you know. They like to imbibe in life. But throughout this, you know, Jean struggled with her weight. I was obese from a BMI. perspective. After she had her baby, she was heavy. She hated it. She had postpartum depression. She could not lose the weight. And she would say she's gained and lost 70 pounds multiple times in her life. And it just felt like an endless struggle to her. Did she tell you why she was having so much trouble keeping the weight off? She talked about food noise.

Food noise, to me, feels like a constant need to eat. I don't feel hungry. I don't feel full. So I don't have those physiological triggers to know when to eat. And the feeling of self-loathing that she describes of not being able to control that, like it's a failure of will. And then being embarrassed about the food, that I was eating

so sneaking food when I was home by myself having a pint of ice cream because I could and I could hide it. Eventually this leads to health issues. I do have other chronic conditions that it developed over time.

I had non-alcoholic fatty liver disease. And she says to her doctor, how about one of these GLP1 drugs? And he wrote the script. And can you just remind us, Lisa, how do these drugs actually work? Well, they work by reducing your feeling of being hungry. And because of that, people lose a ton of weight really fast. And people who have been dieting their whole lives and struggling with their weight

are able to keep their weight off as long as they're on the drugs. And, you know, she starts losing a lot of weight really fast. You know, 10 pounds, 20 pounds. I mean, she lost 60 pounds inside of eight months. And then, you know, she notices that, like, people start treating her differently. Well, and even at work. You know, she's a successful professional. She's always been a successful professional.

But I feel like the marketing team is putting me out there more. Now, suddenly at work, she's getting these outward-facing opportunities. where she's being put forward as a talking head to talk to the media, for example, in a way that she hadn't been before. But I feel like there's this different perception of me. I'm the same person. I'm just 60 pounds lighter. Now, this is a thing that others have said, too, about these drugs, that doors open.

And a lot of the people I talk to for this story talk about the opportunities that get presented to them, promotions and dates. And if you're married, it presents a whole world of things that you have to suddenly start figuring out that you didn't anticipate at all. And that was definitely true for Jean and Javier. We'll be right back. Lisa, I'm so curious how these huge changes the gene is going through, both physically and emotionally, are affecting her relationship with Javier. I mean, one of the first things that happened was that she totally lost her appetite for alcohol.

And for Jean, the loss of appetite just changed her whole approach to having her. fun with her husband. I mean, no longer could they sit on the couch and uncork a bottle of wine at the end of the day or go to the local brew pub and try out the new beer. None of it felt good to her anymore. We go over to a friend's house and we'll have a game night or something like that. I mean, we'll still go. I just won't drink. And that's fine. Yeah. In fact, she had an introverted side that hadn't been able to express herself because she was so busy being a pleaser extrovert because she was in a bigger body and she wanted people to like her.

I am not as much of a night owl as my husband is and I like to read my Kindle a little bit before I go to sleep at night. Once she was in a smaller body, she could assert herself and say, like, actually, I like being at home. But she's also telling Javier, or she doesn't want to do the things that he thought that she loved. And that they love together. They love together, right.

How does he respond to all this? He does not like it. No. No, I like going with the flow. I mean, living in a moment and enjoying, you know, whatever's going on in social aspects or social events. Yeah. He was like, no, this is not how we are. We are the people who do these things.

I think he misses his drinking buddy, the person who is going to stay out late. It sounds like the lifestyle stuff led to a lot of tension, more than tension. I mean, I think they had a really, really, really hard time. And when I met them, they were fighting a lot. Before it was a conversation and, you know, and now it's a fight, and one of us is going to walk away angry because we're not seeing eye to eye on something. And their fights could be loud and ugly. So I started really wondering who I was with.

Bottom line is it became very confusing to me as far as how to manage our relationship. I would even comment to her and say, you know, I don't recognize you. I need a roadmap. And one of the biggest things that changed is that they completely stopped having sex. I used to love feeling her body, her big body, next to me in bed, the softness of her body. you know the extra tummy and the extra booty you know next they both talk about the loss of her but are there things you miss about your previous body my butt they both loved her butt so i i miss that that voluptuousness uh being able to lean up next to her and feel her for lack of a better word

draping over me, that's no longer an option. Now it's cuddling and it's cuddling as tight and closely as we can, or as I can. And that's the extent of the intimacy. I'm at a loss for why there's no physical intimacy or hasn't been any. This like physical connection that they had has completely changed. into something else. And neither one of them knows exactly how to find it again. And this new body, I haven't really been able to touch or explore or anything like that.

It's not as accessible to you. It's not, no. Why haven't they had sex? Was that just another appetite that the drugs, reduced? I mean, that's what Javier's theory was, is maybe. Gene has different theories of the case. She's gone through menopause. She's been on antidepressants for a really long time, and both of those things are known to suppress sex drive. But I think there's actually something bigger at work here. I haven't said this to him.

I just didn't say no before. She started to be able to draw boundaries between doing things for other people because they want them and being able to articulate what she wants. I'm setting the boundaries. I don't want to have sex, but before I would. But he very much wants to be her loving partner. It sounds like the drugs kind of unearthed something. They unearthed some kind of dynamic in their sex life that Gene had only been maybe very vague,

vaguely aware of, but certainly had not been in a position to act on before she felt differently about herself. Yes, I think that's true. I think they're both completely blindsided by that. I felt that we were always on the same page and going on, you know, we were on the same. We weren't two ships in the night crossing paths. We were one ship. So you're empowered in a way to take up space to say what you want. And that forces you to have to figure out what you want.

Yeah. Yeah. Beyond just like I want to leave the party at 10. You know, that's, in a way, that's easy. Like, do I want to have a sexual relationship with my husband? Do I want to leave my corporate job? Do I want to, like, these are much bigger questions. Yeah.

Yeah. Well, and kind of sad that at 53 that I'm starting to have those thoughts. Aren't those the kinds of things that most people think about when they've graduated from school, right? I just, I'm the good girl and I do what's expected. In a certain body. And now you have a different body. Yeah. I still feel very strongly that this.

is one of the best things that I've done for myself, this is it. You know, I have lost the weight and I will maintain this for life. And I'm just so grateful. After the break, Lisa calls Jean and Javier back to see how they've handled the changes in their relationship since the episode originally aired. Hey, how's it going? Can you hear me? I can hear you. So we met approximately a year ago. Yeah.

Tell me what's changed between you since then. I'm not a virgin anymore. What do you mean by that? Are you having sex? Yeah. Not often, but yes. It's no longer a dry spell. Let's just say that.

That's amazing. Gene, what? prompted you? What was the change in you? I'd had a mommy makeover. I had a tummy tuck. I had a breast reduction and lift. I had the arms done. So removing loose skin. So I was just feeling affectionate and appreciative. Yeah, out of the blue a few weeks ago, Gene said, hey, I just want to thank you for being so supportive through my adventure with my body image issues and fears and I'm thinking, well, okay, well, you're welcome. I love you, baby, you know, and that's, and that was the end of it.

So break it down for me. Like, where were you? What happened? What made you in the mood? Hmm. Okay. Now, I mean, in the morning and at home, Jean said, hey, you know, we would certainly affect that we have some time and I'm feeling, I'm feeling amorous.

Do you want to? Yeah. Yeah. I think I'm open. I think she said when I'm open to it. And I'm like, okay, no clothes are coming off. I don't even think he said that. They've just gone.

Boom. Got out of bed, locked the door. Close came off. And it was, you know, it was wonderful. Amazing. Amazing. I feel that I've been on this long journey with you guys. It has.

It's been a journey. All right. All right. Well, I'm so happy to see you. We'll keep in touch. Thank you so much. Thank you. All right. Take care. Bye. Bye. Bye, by Lisa. Today's episode was produced by Nina Feldman with help from Anna Foley. It was edited by Ben Calhoun, Jody Becker, and Lindsay Garrison, with help from Patricia Willens and Lexi Dio. Contains music by Marion Lazzano, Dan Powell, Pat McCusker, Diane Wong, and Leah Shaw-Demeron,

and was engineered by Chris Wood and Rowan Neimistow. That's it for the Daily. Abrams. See you on Monday.