The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz - As Good a Name As Anyone in the NFL | Hour 1

Episode Date: September 21, 2026

"CAN! CAN!" Dan leads us through either 15 or 17 football observations, taking us from Ross Tucker's rise to excellence to Jeremy's lack of QB prowess, Baker Mayfield's struggles to Kyle Lowry's Raptors statue, Jacksonville Jacksonvilling to Jared Goff making a throw. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

My favorite part of the football season is the confidence everybody has before it kickoff. Zaslo already knows how the game is going to end. Tony has studied every possible matchup and Chris Cody is convinced his fantasy team is unbeatable. Then the game starts, everything immediately goes off the rails, and suddenly nobody remembers making any of those predictions. That's why a legendary game day starts with an ice cold Miller light, whether I'm at a tailgate, watching with friends, or settling in for a full Saturday of college football.

Miller Light is the beer I can depend on. It's crisp, refreshing, and has a clean finish that hits perfectly during a hot South Florida game day. Miller Light is the original light beer with great taste, and beer lovers have trusted it for more than 50 years. Make game day legendary. Go to Miller Lite.com slash Dan to find delivery options near you, or you can pick up some Miller Lite pretty much anywhere they sell beer. Game time is Miller Time. Celebrate responsibly. Miller Brewing Company, Milwaukee, Wisconsin, 96 caps.

calories in 3.2 carbs per 12 ounces. Where some see heroes and others see egos. Bloomberg sees the era of billionaire athletes. While others follow the noise, we follow the money. Learn more at Bloomberg.com. David, why are you breathless? Because I ran here from nothing personal just ended 60 seconds ago, and the studio is 12 feet away.

And I've got stuff. I'm a stuff guy. So my glasses, computer, phone. mouse and I had water and I grabbed it all because you wanted to start within 30 seconds of me finishing the two hours faster than that actually so I thought we were doing that I wanted well you remember how you closed nothing personal yesterday was with an awkward tease where you said coming up right now we're doing more show with the lebitard show and then we went blank for 17 minutes and so you wanted to do something less clunky than that I thought immediately after your show we were going to start which is what I want to it's why I ran here from

your other studio because you have two studios here, but I couldn't even bring my water because I tried to carry the water and it spilled and my mouse dropped and I was out of breath because I'm out of shape. Chris, how did it go? You run marathons. You're training for a marathon. What do you mean you're out of shape? You ran Wednesday?

Didn't you just run 20 miles? Yeah, but it's so different after when you're carrying water and balancing a computer. Like, it's just different. I don't lose my breath when I'm running 20 miles, but running between studios carrying and schlepping, I lost my breath. Chris, how did it go on nothing personal? Fantastic. I just saw the numbers. They like tripled when I was sitting there. And how good was he? Was he good? What did you guys talk just about his Marlins fandom? Because Chris came out of the studio shaking his head and he's like, I'm better as a third voice. And it was just the third, more like six. So we had some issues. The number one issue was coca in my ear during the show. You can't talk about that with Chris. I was going to talk about the LSU and the SEC lawsuit.

Don't give Koka credit for that. You brought it up and I'm like with me? I wanted to start talking about it because I thought. that he'd be able to add something to this conversation, because Dan, you've told me it's okay to get to serious. It's okay to treat people as though they can discuss it. And Coke is in my ear. Chris is like, no, no, let's talk about the dolphins. Coca waved me off. I came in and was saying to Coca, hey, I'll go in there after Chris

and help Dave finish up the hour. And he's like, no, we don't need you. Hell yeah, stiff arm. So were you ready to talk about the SEC and LSU? I was ready. And Victory Plus? I was ready. That would have been great, actually.

I was ready to help, yes. But, Coker, I got the catcher shook me off. And I was, you know, I was like, okay. And I just wandered away with my tail between my legs. Greg Cody's here, incidentally. What? Hey, Greg. Fresh off of a cruise.

Oh, boy. There it is. Are you okay, Greg? I'm great. Yeah. Are you sick? No. Do I sound sick?

Yes. I don't think he sounds sick. Is this normal sound? No, I listen to him each day. All right. I just worry because I see when, you know, you're touching stuff and you're a little nasally. Yeah. Okay.

How was the cruise? It was wonderful. What do you do on a cruise? Do you gamble? Oh, yeah, yeah. We did very well. Nobody likes to hear about somebody else's gambling winnings. Nobody says they losing gambling.

Isn't that funny? Well, he says no one wants to hear about anyone's gambling winnings, but he betrayed Boog Shambi one time by reporting on his blog all of Boog's gambling winnings. Nobody wants to hear about it, but he reported it exclusively. Boog still has it forgiven. You know what? When you walk around flaunting your $500 chips, I'm going to report it. You know what I'm saying?

I took a $500 chip from Boog and started running in the casino, and he thought he was seriously like I'm going to steal it. That's why he's mad at me. Well, he had reason not to trust you, as we would all soon learn. Like you reported it immediately after he won a lot of money. Okay. Hey, Greg. If you're going to ask, on the same day on the cruise ship,

I won $800 in the casino, mostly on roulette, and then that same day I won $650 on bingo. It's the first time I've ever played bingo. Weren't you getting booed at bingo because you won bingo and then you won some other raffle like right after so people were just like hating you? Yeah, they were hating me. I want a raffle to get a close up of my iris taken and they turn it into art. Where is that photo? I left it at home. You have to check out the Greg Cody show if you want to see it.

Yeah, it's an artful photo of my iris. It looks like a donut. It's bloodshot. He's hammered in that photo. No, it's not bloodshot. Do you worry about falling off with all the drinking you do? Do you worry about falling off the ship? No, because you know why?

You've got to make an effort to fall off a ship. I mean, the things are chest high. The railing. The railing is the word I was looking for. You're struggling so far. I feel the drink package. Like, you're really, you came in slow today, and you're really struggling. You're fighting.

through some things. You said you won bingo playing for the very first time ever playing bingo? No, I play bingo all the time because my wife loves bingo. My mom's annoying with the bingo on Creesies. And so I sit by her side, you know, looking through, flapping through

cards and never winning anything. But this time, there's all kind of different bingo games. This was the four corners, which is the quickest game. The four corners. And it only took eight numbers, eight numbers called for me to get the four corners. $650 I won in about a minute and a half.

I've never laughed so hard or had more fun in a studio than when we were together. I don't remember what the scenario was. We were playing bingo here at your show, and everyone had the same bingo card. Yeah, it was. Oh, it was Oscars. That was Oscars. We poorly made a bunch of bingo cards. Oh, we did it well.

Just only did one. I liked it. Everyone lost because we made the bingo car. I like being part of a team. We ride together, we die together. You know the point of bingo, right? All the cards are different. That's the beauty of bingo.

Not at metal lark. We made it all the same. Reinventing bingo. Zaslow, just when you think of bingo and an assortment of people playing bingo, don't you always think of ancient people doing that? Because as Greg Cody describes this, I have, I've just, just learned that that setting that he just painted the picture for makes me sad. Yeah, bingo happens like nightly in retirement homes.

That's where that's where bingo takes place. No, they're grandchildren who play with their grandparents on cruise ships. My first time bingo is with my grandma rose. Yeah, that makes sense. And she had, she had the shakes. And she taught me how to put the dots when you get a number on bingo. I learned how to play bingo with her. I was very, very young.

So there are young people who play bingo, but they learn from the old people. The next generation of vingoists. Did you learn that the dots were smeared because you volunteered that she had the shake? So was she making dots that didn't appear as dots that appeared more as like lines? No.

It's not a crann. It's an actual thing you put on the number. I know, but you said she had the... You volunteered that she had the shakes. Right, I wanted to because it was the reason I... He's just painting a picture. I'm painting a picture of... She also taught me how to play blackjack and the way she put the chips in the circle is she pushed

them into the circle. Because she was shaky. Because she was shaky. I don't know what she had as I look back, whether it was Parkinson's or a stroke or I'm not sure what it was, my grandma Rose. One of those old things. She taught her whole family how to gamble. You don't imagine Grandma Rose or any grandma playing Blackjack. Biggo I get. My grandma sat there for hours at the Blackjack. Is that right? Crap's table as well? My grandpa played craps.

Did he really? The last thing before my grandpa died was his best craps roll. He held the dice for 82 minutes. at Caesar's Palace and he died two days later. Wow. That is the way. Went out the way he wanted. Wild Bill had the shakes at the end as well. Yo, chicken died.

There's never been a rule of 82 minutes of clubs. Of course there has. It's never having a history. Who's keep of time? I went 90 minutes at Harrah's one time. Come on a good. Greatest day of my life. Mike, me and Lewis.

I remember that day. Oh, and Tao too. Tau. We went on a freaking heater, bro. Yeah, that's how I want to die. It's the best way. On a heater. If you're doing the cum line, a 90-minute roll,

always coming, always working. Respectfully. Respectfully. You can make a fortune on an 80-minute roll. I don't believe that you're just doing like 10 bucks a hand. I don't believe that your grandfather had an 82-minute roll. I don't believe that. There's 20 people you can ask, including dealers.

But Mike, getting back to you just quickly, you never upped your bet and you held the dice for 90 minutes. The 90-minute time that I was in Harris in Vegas, it was my first time playing craps. So I didn't know about all the side bets. I didn't know about bagging up the bet. Yeah. So I made everybody else a ton of money. I walked away with like $350.

I was like, I'm a man. Today, Mike, it would have been $30,000. Is there anywhere else other than sports and a craps table where you celebrate with strangers like that about anything? Are those the only two places where you experience joy that's exuberant with strangers a craps table and sports. Pick up sports, too. I feel that way every time I'm meeting glass.

I feel like that's under the umbrella of sports, though. Pick up sports. It's all. Well, like, I thought like spectators, yeah, because I love giving a high five to a stranger behind me. CJ Daniels, I told you'd catch five. Oh, I hate that. I hate when I'm at a sporting event.

Oh, the group high fives? Love it. With people I don't know, like the people in the row in front of me will turn around. Like, they'll give all kinds of people high fives. I'm literally, I'm trying. not to look at them. I don't want to make eye contact. And I'm saying to myself, please don't try and give me

high five. I hate that. At Panthers, at Panthers games, I have my group of season ticket holders around. It's like the routine. We score a goal. I go to the kid to my right in the front of me. I go to the lady and the couple. In front of me here, I turn around. I go to the couple. Come here, Ron. Come here, Stacy. I don't like that. It's the only time I like people. I don't like that.

No, let me cheer as an individual. Shut up. You know, you didn't score a touchdown. Why am I high-fiving you? You don't believe what you're saying. You're just talking. I do. Give me a third example. Give me what finishes as the bronze medalist, if I say to you, celebrating with strangers joyously, jumping up and down, yelling, yelling, screaming. If you go sports number one, craps table number two, is there anything that knocks out concert from number three?

When a plane lands. Only after some issue. I've never high-fived at a concert. Why would you high-five at a concert? No, but you sing and you hug and you touch. Yeah, but the people you know, and I've seen people high-five at a concert. How about this song? Come here, buddy.

No, like all those, like dead-and-companied people, they're all high on whip. It's like, oh, shake down the street. We're white. That's true. Probably when you're on drugs. You sing and you hug is not something that I was doing with Zaz at Pearl Jam. I think that's the last time I went to see any music with any of the people here.

That was when you lost your ticket and David had to get you in. That's correct. I didn't sing or hug David or Zaz. It's not that kind of concert. Well, but what, so what kind of concert? An emo concert. There's hugging that goes on a dance concert. Sure, if everyone's on ecstasy, sure.

Well, you don't have to be on ecstasy to hug, Dan. No, but to touch people on ecstasy is like that's what people are doing. The feelings are a little bit larger when you're, you know, when you're on X. You would know. I wouldn't, actually, but I've heard. I've never done ecstasy. Speaking like an expert. Well, but am I wrong?

Am I wrong? Am I wrong? Am I wrong? Am I wrong? I wouldn't. That's a setup. Please do not answer that question any of you in the room. Well, no, but Mike does, Mike likes that kind of music.

I don't do drugs now. Wait, exactly. No, but you're surrounded by people who are doing drugs. Stay quiet, Mike. I don't do, I did get roofied one time. I had an amazing time. By himself. How do you remember it?

I was told I had an amazing time. I've always wanted to get roofie. It's cut copy. I feel like I'd be. You've always wanted to get roofied. I'd be in the cool person. I'd be the cool guy. Shout out to whoever did that to the domestic beer of choice because, like, at least it wasn't a bad one.

It could have been a bad one, but I was on an upper. That did happen to me. That did happen to me once. You got roofied? Yeah, I did get, yes, I lost eight hours of my evening and woke up not remembering in any way how it is I'd gotten to where it is that I had gotten. Where did you get? Ricky Williams' house. Oh, there you go.

I think somebody was trying to do it to him, I think, is what happened. happened. They mistook you. No, I'm sure. No, I saved his life. No, I was just with him. Plastic case of mistaken identity. My favorite part of the football season is the confidence everybody has before

a kickoff. Zazzo already knows how the game is going to end. Tony has studied every possible matchup and Chris Cody is convinced his fantasy team is unbeatable. Then the game starts. Everything immediately goes off the rails and suddenly nobody remembers making any of those predictions. That's why a legendary game day starts with an ice cold Miller Light, whether I'm at a tailgate, watching with friends, or settling in for a full Saturday of college football.

Miller Light is the beer I can depend on. It's crisp, refreshing, and has a clean finish that hits perfectly during a hot South Florida game day. Miller Light is the original light beer with great taste and beer lovers have trusted it for more than 50 years. Make game day legendary. Go to Millerlight.com slash Dan to find a live. options near you, or you can pick up some Miller light pretty much anywhere they sell beer. Game time is Miller time. Celebrate responsibly, Miller Brewing Company, Milwaukee, Wisconsin, and 96 calories and 3.2 carbs per 12 ounces. Hey, it's Roy, and I want to talk to you about blinds. I had one set of blinds that drove me

crazy. Every single morning, one little gap would let in a laser beam of sunlight that hit me right in the face. And when I tried to roll them up, one side would always go higher than the other. I live with it that way longer than I should have because replacing blinds felt like a whole project. Blinds.com makes it easy. You can customize window coverings for any room or the free samples delivered right to your door and even add professional installation at checkout.

Whether you want to handle everything yourself or have licensed and vetted professionals measure and install them, you decide how much help you need. And if you're not sure what style works for you, you can book a free consultation with one of the award-winning design experts without pushy salespeople or awkward in-home visits. Everything is backed by blinds.com's 100% satisfaction guarantee. Right now, blinds.com is giving Dan Levitantor show listeners an exclusive $50 off when you spend $500 or more.

Just use code Dan at checkout. Limitime offer. Rules and restrictions apply. See blinds.com for details. You are listening to the Dan Levatar show in partnership with the Drafkin Sports app. Now live in all 50 states. Football is indeed back. I can't believe that David's.

Samson just uttered the sentence. I've always wanted to get roofied, not something that I was expecting to hear today before 9 a.m. I've got a couple of sounds for you guys to play. I think Mike Tomlin is going to be exceptional at broadcasting. I think he's going to be relaxed and funny and interesting. But I've got two coaching sounds to play for you guys, and I want to ask you guys, which one you'd prefer to talk about. The first sound I want to play is Dabo at Clemson. I think he's in real trouble. He simply refuses to change. He refuses to transition. I believe he's been left behind and he's already ornery after one game because they got smoked by Johnny Freshwater. So look at what it is that Dabo does after starting O and one.

Do you regret anything about your off-season roster construction record? Chappell, you come with all these questions. I'll tell you, you're the gotcha guy. No, I don't. I don't, man. I regret being O'1-1 right. now I regret that. Can you ask me that at the end of the season? The season and over. I mean we got one game. We got 11 more. What if we go 11 and 1? You promised me you asked me that then? Okay good. I'll answer it. All right but I'll answer that in the end of the season. We played one game. One game. All right. If you did you play football? Okay. Well they give you 12 games and at the end

of the year you count them up. All right and and you know That's when those type of questions are fair to me. You know, not after one game to maybe the best team in the country. What are you shaking your head about Greg Cody? What's that? Whoa boy. That'll do it. Let's play the sound of Mike Tomlin, please.

I'm a big Minecrafter. I didn't know you were a gamer either. because my kids were. Got it. And so how do I connect with them? How do I meet them where they are and spend time with them? I started playing Minecraft, man, when my kids were young. I have a Minecraft city.

I'm creative, man, that I've been working on for like 12 years. Still? 12 years. And the kids have long gone. Do they still play too? No. But when they come home, they're like, hey, Dad, put your city up, man. Let me see what's up.

What is more worthy of your analysis, Greg Cody? Did you hear the question this time? No, I did. I like the dabble-swweeney thing because it's, he has to say that, right? He has, the reporter. No, he does not. Yes, he does not. No, I mean, no, he doesn't.

He doesn't have to be an asshole after game one. You're the gotcha guy. You're the gotcha guy. Did you play football? You're the gotcha guy. You got those questions. You're the gotcha. Did you play football?

All right, because they give you 12 games. I'm sorry. I had to put a hand in the dirt to know the schedule. You've gotcha guy. Wasn't Davo a walk-on? Like, did he play? He played as a walk-on, right?

As a walk-on? At Bama. Still counts. Yeah, but, okay, but did you play football as a walk-on when I think of him is notoriously undersized? And I think, if I've got my information right, he might have been rooming with his mother when he was in college because he made his way up the hardest possible way from great poverty. Dabo's one of the coolest stories in the history of college football.

and people he's going to need some separation from this time will eventually have him be remembered as a two-time champion and as a guy that wasn't supposed to be in the spot that he got and it is been wholly embarrassing and the guy made the playoffs like two seasons ago won the ACC and puffed his chest out

because he had his detractors then but and they got murdered the first game of that season too by Georgia yeah he he just he doesn't have the right skill set for this day and age in college football, and he doesn't have the right temperament for this day and age, and that's a bad mix when you're constantly in front of microphones, and this is ending poorly. Well, temperament is the key issue here, because I would be like that. I don't know about the rest of you. I admit it.

If I were a head coach, I would be very thin-skinned about that question one game into a season. I would probably respond just like that. About what question? How do you feel about your roster? Right. Your roster, at 0-1, they're asking. But the way they lost, like, it's not just 0-1-1, okay? They were outgained by 499 total yards.

A team that couldn't run last year ran for 300 yards on them, and they had like 40 yards rushing. They had six plays in LSU territory. LSU had 47 plays in their territory. That might be the best team in the country, as you told us. You're the gotcha guy. I think his point is that you don't reevaluate your roster based on one game. Exactly.

They went through, they recruited, they put their, team together and now because of what you're saying that all the yards and the big play, whatever. He's simply saying his team, he views it today the same as he viewed it yesterday. Except the question is completely fair and relevant because it's been a story for years now the way that coach in particular builds his roster compared to the rest of the country. And in that first game, they didn't belong on the field with LSU. He got blown off the field, on the field and off the field because he doesn't believe.

even the transfer portal doesn't believe in NIL and gets left behind. Things change very quickly in the sport. Michigan had the best season ever. Now they're storming the field after that victory against that team. They had an undefeated season for Jim Harbaugh. It was a couple of seasons ago where they won the national championship. And now look at where they are. Things are changing very quickly because of the money involved in that sport.

Speaking of Michigan, has a team ever stormed the field? They were ranked. storm the field and then were unranked. That has to be the first. I'm glad the AP got that one right. The AP on my shit list. That's definitely never happened, right? Well, what happened, probably not.

What happened with UM? A voter simply forgot to rank them and instead of six, they're ranked seventh because a voter simply forgot to put, had them as sixth last week, but just forgot this week? Well, I mean, Miami was fortunate in that game. That was the early drop and maybe a favorable whistle. What I think happened, though, was the dude was looking at the results from Saturday.

And he just forgot that Miami had played on Friday. What? Such a ridiculous thing, the AP. I don't get it. So, like, Louisville doesn't move from 24, rightfully so. Ole Miss moves up. But you watch that game. What's the difference between these two teams?

There was one 14-point swing where Kyn Olds misses a wide-open throw, and then a high snap. It was 14 points. Like, you could watch that game and say, ah, I think Louisville's better, but you still have this huge gulf between them and Ole Miss gets to go up a little bit. Like the whole AP thing is bizarre to me, and you have these random events where someone can completely forget a team. And yeah, sure, it's early season. Doesn't matter right now. But that can totally happen at the end of the season, where someone just totally forgets a team.

And it's part of the equation that the CFP uses. Because he forgot Miami, Miami missed out on 20 points in the AP 25. That would put them three points ahead of Oregon. So that's a vital mess right there. I should have mentioned and didn't that a U.S. Open match just ended a few seconds ago. Like, I don't know if any of you were watching this at 3.30 in the morning. I can't imagine that anybody in America, like, what was the, I can't imagine that there were many people still in attendance there at 3.30. There were.

It was a packed house and the energy was incredible. And diehard tennis fans in my tennis chat were. positively dialed. That match ended at 336. I couldn't watch it. It's utterly absurd that the U.S. American gentleman that has the best chance to finally win a grand slam for the U.S. is starting its match against the world number one at 1036 p.m. It's just insane. Eastern. That's in New York. So you have an all-American semi now and Ben Shelton ends up winning. It's an upset. It's an all-black American. There'll be a black American finalist in the U.S. Open for the first time since Arthur Ash in 1972.

How about if you went to the match? You know, Arthur Ash Stadium, it's in flushing, right? So it's in New York. The match ends at 3.30 in the morning. You're getting home at like 5 a.m. You got work today. Yeah, there's all sorts of issues with public transportation at that time, too. So there were some people that maybe still haven't gotten home.

So stupid. So at 333, I was trying to watch the entire match, and I was telling Chris, I'm nothing personal today. I fell asleep during the match tie break. I didn't. You got to the tie break. You got more than four hours in? I was intermittent, so I would, my eyes would open.

Oh, my God, I just missed the third set. So there were periods where my eyes were open and closed, but I was dialed in at 6'6, and then it was over, and I couldn't believe it. Did you catch the Battle of the Billionaires beforehand? Pagula versus Navarra? I waited up for that one. I hate that you say that. What?

It was a battle of the billionaires. That's how it's being billed, because the fathers of the titular. tennis players are billionaires. One is the owner of the Buffalo Sabres and the Buffalo Bills. And one is a hedge fund guy. Capital One, right? Great match. But they're on their own.

They're good tennis players. They're top-ranked tennis players. Well, Jessica's pretty damn good. I mean, she's really good. She's like third, right? Yeah, that's a nice comeback story for Navarro. But yes, I don't think I can ever remember a quarterfinal being played between two billionaires. But how about American tennis?

How about American tennis? Has to be said. Six Americans. Let's go states. Six Americans made the quarterfinals for the first time in 24 years. That's pretty good. That's pretty good. Now let's see him win a major.

Then we'll talk about it. This is the time. Yeah. I mean, no sinner, no Alcaraz. Right. This would be the time. Now, you got Zav. Who is right now a...

Stop. Don't. Don't. Don't. Zeverev. Zverav. I've always had issues with that one. Don't.

That's a weird name. Yeah. He should change his name. He's just... I really said. The last American male to win a Grand Slam, I think, was 03. Was it Rodic? Roddick.

Roddick, U.S. Open. Fritz made the final, again, Sinner, didn't really have a chance, went down in straight sets two years ago. But this is a really exciting time. You're guaranteed a male, a U.S., a black, African-American dude playing for what is history. For this, for this, U.S. men, you said, Dominique this sport. and we've went through the greatest generation of tennis, and the U.S. couldn't get a word in edgewise. So it's really great to see.

And these guys have traded places. Is it going to be Tiafo? Is it going to be Fritz? Is it going to be Shelton? And for Shelton, who's playing incredible tennis right now, to be the guy, and to go through Alcaraz. Because it's one thing, the sinner thing, it's not like Zverev, went in the French Open

without having to go through Ciner or Alcaraz. This guy went through the best, and Alcaraz was playing really, really well. He's serving 140 miles an hour. what struck me. If you want the scouted report on that match, in the old days, it was Roscoe Tanner who had the fast serve. Like, if he got to a buck 10, everyone was like, are you kidding me? How is he doing that with his wooden racket? When I'm seeing Shelton blow 140, I just, if you've never faced, it's like going in the batters box facing 100, you can't put a bat on it. If you

tried to return a serve at 140, anyone in this room or any normal person. Well, you say that, except we did that with Stugats, who was smoking a cigarette against John Isner, and he was able to make contact on a serve. I'm sorry, it wasn't Isner. Was it Isner? Oh, no, it was Opelka. Iznor. Forgive me. It wasn't Eisner. Eisner is somebody entirely different. Was it a kick

serve or a flat serve? Isner. It was a serve from on high. That guy's like 6.9. No, that guy's like a 7 footer. But if it's a kicker, Steve and be able to touch it, no one could touch a kick serve. He touched the serve. He touched the serve. He had a little rally. It wasn't. He returned it?

He had a little rally. He returned. One of the serves. He won a point. I think he did it with a cigarette in his mouth. He did do it with a cigarette in his mouth. Mike, you weren't here yesterday. So we have our first stutter that rivals me trying to say matriculate.

Rout, rawhis. It's not nice. Ratt, rawhis. What are you trying to say? Rockis. Raucus. What? I had an issue.

That's a two-syllable word. I got it wrong, but Dan has this thing where he just, wants to keep making fun of if you misspeak. Tell me about it. Been a little further back, Daddy. It's a little further back. Greg, you're struggling. You've come in off of this.

You've come in off of this cruise. You've been, it's the drink package. This happens every time. It's struggling. It's four straight days of drinking. It's 10 a.m. somewhere. And he, uh, he turns, I don't know what age he turns, but tomorrow's his birthday. Happy birthday to him.

I don't care. Good luck What birthday is this for you, Greg? Do I have to tell you? I mean, no, but you could... We could Google it. 86. I look pretty good for my age.

I don't care what anybody says. I'm checking that. Are you... He's not 86, but he is in his 70s. 72, if he must know. He's a little insecure right now because we put out... On the Greg Cody show, we put out a video from the pig roast that he did at his house this past weekend,

and Uncle Dick was in it. And a lot of comments were talking about how good Uncle Dick looks for 81. That's true. My brother is 81. There weren't a lot of Greg Cody looks good for his age coming. That kind of thing. Tony, you know that moment at a party or at a tailgate where everything just sort of clicks? I know it well. It's usually when I show up. Everybody goes crazy. Yeah, you usually take all the credit for it, but it's because Tony usually walks in with Querebo.

I'm walking like this. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Quervo is a thing that turns hanging out into this is the night. It has that effect on people. It does. You usually take the credit for it. But again, it's the quarevo. Cuervo effect. It's like that moment in a big game where everyone in the crowd just starts standing up, hooting and hollering. Keep it quervo. Keep it quervo, baby. Ah, folks, listen up. You wouldn't want an offense alignment to play wide receiver, would you? No, you wouldn't. You need the right person. You need the right equipment for the job. That applies to football, and it definitely applies below the waist. That's where the lawnmower lineup from Manscape comes in. Trusted by over 14 million men worldwide, the lawnmower go is slim, sporty, and straightforward.

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I'm not going to apologize. I wouldn't expect you to apologize. You're a giant infant. Okay. You have no control over your emotions. You have no control over your emotions. When you're calling someone you know an idiot, I don't deserve it. I don't deserve it.

And you're a fool for saying it. Okay. Great, Cody. You're a fool. I was kind of following. Oh, you're locking in right now? You're locking in on eyes? Yeah, all right.

Let's drop the gloves, pal. Let's rock. You should be thanking me. For what? Every day. For what? For what I've done around this character, and the second shit gets real for you, you want to come at me and call me a fool? Huh?

Yeah, no, no, no. Seriously. Seriously, pal. I've added 10 years to your career. This is the De Laibata show. I should let everyone know that Pablo Torre has another episode out today on Pablo Tori finds out, and the headline on it is simply, there is, in fact, more. Wow. So, Pablo, this...

Episode 2 of 23. The story's not going to end. And I got aggregated yesterday, again, incorrectly, where people are saying Dan Lebitard lights up NBA media. It wasn't NBA media I was lighting up. NBA media was following Pablo's episodes. It was higher up than NBA media. It was your prime opinion givers in American sports.

Weren't listening to the Pablo episodes. And so their reaction made it seem obvious that they weren't listening or bothering to get informed on this. I wasn't saying this of the wind horse of the world. They were eating it up as, you know, all of those guys are now saying now that the clippers were lying to their face. And adamantly for a while now. But when have you, I have not yet heard the episode that dropped today. What is, what can you tell us, if anything, David, about there is, in fact more? The strategy that we have employed from the beginning is we are never going to not have something on deck.

So we're not going to blow the whole wad in any particular episode because, A, it keeps everyone on their toes. It keeps everyone wanting more. And it keeps the leagues and the people we're talking about, whether it's Mark Walter or Steve Balmer, it keeps their PR people and their lawyers frantic. And so it's gotten to the point now where Pablo can just say, hey, there's more. We did it on the live episode, the reaction episode, and we heard from the other side, like, their angst in that. I like the reports now coming out of L.A. that the clippers are resentful and they're mad and they're frustrated at Kauai Leonard over the whole thing. Do you think you'll get a tribute video when they come back? He's not gone.

There's another misconception out there. Guy Lennard is a clipper. And a victim in all of this. Not a victim. He lost 700 grand. According to its own statement. Yeah. Did you not see the results of the investigation?

He was a victim in all of this. His team. When you turn states evidence, you can get some good things written about you. You can get a nice witness protection. You can be Ray Leota in Goodfellas. You're going to get me an Uncle Dennis, man. That guy seems like the man. Not anymore.

Yeah. Like, here's the big takeaway from Pablo's reporting. Uncle Dennis is awesome. You need an Uncle Dennis. I want to get with Mike Ryan and Greg Cody to get their University of Miami Thoughts. But before I do that, I want to talk about everything that's happening with the SEC because of how fascinating I find in general what has happened the last five years in this sport

as money has poured into it. And everyone in college sports who is in power is trying to hang on to that power and trying to keep some semblance of this is still amateurism and these are still students. Okay. Do you know what the highest salary is for a player in college football? I'm asking the question because I don't know the answer to that. I think it's Bryce Underwood for Michigan. I think the initial deal that was reported was north of 10 mil.

I've seen online 12 mil. I don't know how real those numbers are. For one year? Per year? Per. I would have had the under by so many millions. I can't believe. Again, no one knows what these numbers are unless you're looking at tax.

filings, which we haven't seen individual player tax filings. Unless you're the player or the agent themselves, these numbers are open to skepticism. I've seen wild numbers reported about Miami players that have been well off. The reason that I asked the question, okay, because I did think that that number would be closer to half that. I thought that the highest salary in that sport would be about $5 million. And the grand majority of people listening to this will not make that in their lifetime. If you make $100,000 for 50 years, you will have made $5 million in your lifetime.

And that's when these guys stop becoming students. And that's when these fights become about Lane Kiffin and the SEC and the SEC threatening if Lane Kiffin uses guys who have been cut by the pros to basically exile LSU from the SEC. One of the emptiest threats you will ever see in the history of threat making, the idea that they would turn LSU. something as valuable as LSU lose to all of these other conferences so they could give Lane all of the money and all of the players and all of the power because Lane Kiffin is the perfect coach for this time in terms of not giving a bleep and being okay, making a mess

and bending the rules and breaking the rules because all of the rules right now are in danger. All of the rules on what it is that you remember college football being have changed so much in the last five years that it is staggering. like legitimately breathtaking to see what is happening at just LSU where the SEC is trying to remain some semblance of power. And when Lane Kiffin has this, when someone like Joey Freshwater has this much power, of course he's going to flaunt it.

Of course he's going to be a dick with it. This guy got to the pros in his early 30s. This guy comes from football royalty in Monte Kiffin, like in terms of whatever it is you think nepotism in football is. This guy was a professional. NFL coach in his early 30s made all the mistakes and has gotten right back to the top of the mountaintop. And so of course he's going to want to get guys who are pros or closest thing that he can get to pros. And of course he's going to be right on the line of all the rules. But David,

as a law expert here, what do you make of the recent things that are happening? Because these players that were cut by the Browns and didn't make the roster, for the moment, Lane Kiffin has put down his sword and said, I'm going to go in with a roster of 105. The 10th. doesn't have any guys who are on practice squads or trying out for teams. I'm going to get guys who weren't in the NFL or that close to the NFL. He's put down his sword on that one. But what do you think is going to happen next here? Yeah, there's a lawsuit.

And what we talked about are nothing personal then, I couldn't disagree with you possibly any more than I do. The SEC is not only not scared of Lane Kiffin. There's a very good chance that there will be a vote this week, that two-thirds of the presidents in the SEC will vote to get rid of LSU. No way. Unless and until LSU guarantees and says to the SEC, you've got the power to govern this conference. Well, then submitting 105 names omitting the two former pros kind of solidify that.

That seemed like a capitulation. Yeah, but it's not enough. And the reason why they went forward with the lawsuit and they alleged the lawsuit on a violation of First Amendment is they're trying to show that they've got the right as a conference to tell every single member what to do on all levels. And what they're really doing and what I'd love to hear your view on is I think they're trying to show that they can be apart from the NCAA. This is their legal way of basically saying we're going to govern. There's nothing any member can do. And if you're not on the boat, you're out of the boat.

The inmates are running the asylum. And typically that's reserved for the players, right? That's usually a description that we have for the players. No, the inmates are the actual schools. Think about the two biggest scandals of this college football off season. It's this and the Brendan Sorsby stuff. How did that go for the NCAA? L after L after L after L in court. The schools themselves and the conferences got together and said, this will not stand. And that's how Brendan Sorsby is not playing college football right now. And that's how LSU finds itself in the predicament that it is in right now.

It's the other schools that made the rules and said, I don't care what the courts say. These are the rules that you play by. I don't know if I've ever taken a threat less serious than the SEC threatening to kick out. out LSU. Yeah, I took it very seriously. I mean, Lane Kiffin seems to be taking it seriously. I see him capitulating and cowering by not putting these two guys on the roster. It's just not worth

it. The juice isn't worth the squeeze. They just won 51 to 10. Like, those players would be backup players. It's just not worth it. I know, but if he wanted to be ultimate Lane Kiffin and put up a finger to the SAC. Give him time. It's one game. Give him time. Have you played football before? 12 games. 12 games

in season. Yeah, got you guy. Yeah, I don't think the story's over because every time these issues get taken to court, the court sides with the players. So maybe there's more litigation. I don't see a world in which the SEC, which is trying to hog all the CFP power for itself and actually run the sport of college football, you say it like, well, I think they're trying to prove it. No, the SEC thinks it runs college football. Let me pin down David, though, on this, on what he thinks when he says he never has disagreed with anything more. you believe, just to be clear, that the vote is going to come down and they're going to get kicked out of the SEC later this week. Those are two very different things. There will be a vote taken and there will be enough votes to kick them out of the SEC.

Do you believe, yes or no? Do you believe they will be kicked out yes or no? No. Then what are you disagreeing with? That you think that this is something. It's an empty threat. They're not going to kick them out. If you get the vote and you have the right to and you have proven that you have the power within the other teams,

then Lane Kiffin, LSU, they have to acquiesce to exactly what you want them to acquiesce. David, though, you're ignoring how valuable Lane Kiffin and LSU and all of this noise is to the SEC. Their value is what they represent to other conferences that are trying to get in the game. As a Big Ten, an SEC try to hog all the CFP power for themselves and get all these guaranteed spots, LSU all of a sudden gets removed for the SEC and gets added to, say, like, let's say, a conference, though they have zero leadership. The ACC, now all of a sudden you have LSU, you approach Notre Dame, then you approach ESPN, say, hey, we want our fair share. Let me approach this another way. Actually, in all sincerity, given the general chaos that's here, just entertain this as a hypothetical,

because I actually think that what I'm about to say is possible, given the dilapidation of the SEC combined with how much things are changing quickly. I'm not sure if I gave LSU free agency right, now they wouldn't want it. Like to just go out there and shop to all the conference. Who wants to be the highest bidder to take on LSU? You get Lane Kiffin and LSU and you can be something like No. I mean, Miami would like to be out of the ACC right now. I would imagine if they could go out as a free agent and be just something like Notre Dame where they don't have to abide by any conference. Everybody would love to be Notre Dame because they have football independence, but they have, you know, the ACC handle schedule making and some logistics on on the, on the.

non-revenue sports. And I think that that's a major hurdle. If you're LSU, I'm sure there's a lot of Bayou fans that are like, well, give us independence. We'll go to a streamer. But they wouldn't be able to get the kind of TV deal Notre Dame has? They'd be able to pull down a lot, dude. They'd be able to pull down a ton. But the problem there goes, well, which conference are we going to be able to align with to take all these non-revenue sports? Can they get a sweetheart deal? Like, one of the biggest missteps that Jim Phillips had in the ACC was when Notre Dame during the COVID year, They had no leg to stand on. They were not going to play football that season.

They became a temporary member of the ACC. Remember, they made it to an ACC championship game. And the ACC let them just have that for a year. Yeah, we'll let you play football, and they didn't leverage it to get them in as a full-time member. If LSU tries to get that deal, maybe Brett Yormark is desperate enough that you'll give them a sweetheart deal

in the hopes that LSU football comes in there, but no one wants LSU without the football. You like the odds of LSU becoming the next. and only other Notre Dame. No, I don't. I think they're going to stay in the SEC because I think they want the power with Greg Sanky. No, but entertain my hypothetical for a second. I tell LSU and Lane Kiffin right now that they can have blanket-free agency,

that this threat gets carried out to wherever it is that it gets carried out to. You think they're that bothered by that? You think even if the consequence is so when Dave is right and Zaslo and I are wrong, that it's an empty threat, do you think that that would be something? Like there'd be logistical and paperwork issues and it'd be messy as hell, but I think that they would want a bidding war for their football team. I think if their football came up right now, let's just entertain this hypothetical that they were a football-free age,

and I do think that they pulled down a sweetheart deal and a better deal than Notre Dame. But if Notre Dame were up right now, Notre Dame would then top that. But it's not just what LSU represents, which is plenty in its own right. You know, a stadium that seats over $100,000, a huge brand, great athletics department, big market, huge. fan base, revenue driver, one of the crown jewels of that conference, but it's what they signify in terms of power. If LSU goes to the Big 12 or the ACC instantly legitimized in the eyes

of a nation. Greg Cody, your thoughts, even though they're a day late, actually several days late, we were all days late because the game was last week, but your thoughts on the University of Miami's opener against Stanford? I couldn't have been more impressed. Now granted, Stanford was just awful, much worse than I thought. I don't know how many penalties they had, but they were killing themselves. They must have dropped six or seven passes. They, and Chris Ball said this after the game. They were stacking the box and not going deep to stop Malachi Tony. He said your choice. He said your choice. He was pretty much saying, boy, did Stanford blow their defensive coverage. And what I wrote in my column is that on Malachi Tony, this is what it looks like when

great gets better. I mean, there's nobody in the country who can do what he's doing. Darien Mesa is better than, I think you said it as well, better than Beck. There's no question about that. They have two Heisman trophy winners, which are Heisman Trophy candidates, which may not be a good thing, because they're going to take votes from each other, but that's way down the road. I couldn't be more impressed. You know, what Davos-Swinney has failed to do, Mario Cristobal is kicking the ass doing. success. Winning the portal, recruiting great. I mean, I, you know, I sound like a homer now, but I'm all in on Mario Cristoball. He's the right guy at the right time for this program, and

they were great in the opener. I have nothing bad to say. Yeah, he's a good coach. You like Mario now? I always have. Always have. One game. Well, it was last season as well. I mean, it was four years That Stanford performance really put it over the line for him. Not for one AP vote, but. No, I didn't say that. I started off by saying how terrible Stanford was, and their schedule is one of the softest in the country. I do think Miami was a little fortunate in that game

because I think Stanford's plan was, let's just get this to the second half. You knew that Miami would eventually pull away at some point because of their depth, and Sanford had the opportunities to make that more of a contested game, and like you said, the drops, one in the end zone, one on a big third down. Miami kind of got a friendly whistle too.

So I think that there was plenty of stuff to improve on. The running game didn't get going. They stacked the box and it was a pretty terrible defensive game plan from Stanford. But I was listening to Brooks Austin the other day. And it seems as though college defenses, at least at the P4 level, are getting a little bit better at stopping what Miami did best in that CFP. So I think we're going to have a narrative that Miami's going to have to have some outside runs and some sweeps and some creativity there.

Or they can just throw to Malachi Tony for. 200 yards. I think that they're going to have defensive questions this year, and that can be some of their undoing. But when David Samson says, as he did yesterday, it's only one game. You guys are hyperventilating. You guys are overreacting. One of the things that he was reacting reacting to was me saying that I believe that Mensa to Tony is going to go in the pantheon of quarterback two receiver tandums that the University of Miami has ever had. Testa Verdi to Irvin, Dorsey to Andre Johnson. I believe that it's going to go in that conversation.

And I believe their offense, because of the schedule as well, I believe their offense is going to look a lot like that all season against everybody. And I believe they're going to be a double-digit favorite against everybody except Notre Dame. Yeah, they're a touchdown dog right now to Notre Dame. The magic number for Miami's offense with a defense that you think you can trust is score 30. a game, we go undefeated, and I firmly believe that. Unfortunately, they had that plan two seasons ago, and the defense was like, all right, we'll just give up 40 instead.

I do agree with Dan that they do have some questions to answer defensively, which is a little ridiculous because they only conceded six points. But the edge rushers, I mean, we know that we lost Mesedor and Bain. I don't, it's one game, right? But I don't think we generated enough off the edge. But the defensive line as a whole, especially the interior looks like they're going to feast. and the secondary, they've been already hit with a major injury in O.J. Frederique, I think that their depth is going to be tested there,

and they're going to have to rely on some really young guys, but their schedule should help them get through it. Still says Miami, minus seven at Clemson. How have I not bet a million dollars on that yet? Minus seven? What is that? They're giving away money. They're giving away money.

Yep. Okay. I'm going to lock it in. I mean, it does seem odd. You can't see. Clemson look like that. When you think that LSU, no matter how good you think LSU is, okay, I said

this yesterday and I will continue to say it, outside of Notre Dame, every time Miami takes the field against their scheduled opponent this year before the ACC game, they're going to be better than everyone they're playing against. They may lose to Virginia Tech, they may lose to Pittsburgh,

but they're simply going to be better. They're going to be the betting favorite to be better in every game they play except for the one against Notre Dame. So it is weird to me that Clemson would look like that in game one, that Miami would look like that in game one, and that anyone would think that Clemson is not an FSU kind of terrible this year.

Primetime Death Valley. I'm empty in my bank account. Dabo's got a literal hill to die on in that game. And we've done this with Clemson before, where they lose early on. We're asking all these questions, and then they rattle off three in a row in a rank 24, and everyone will get used for a ranked match at DeathVal.

Do you ever get worried that when he's going full speed down that hill that he's going to tumble? If he falls forward, that's a broken neck. It's the second most dangerous thing in college football behind Eastern Michigan's entrance. I don't know if you've seen this. That was crazy. They've done it for two straight weeks, and someone got hurt. Someone took a sledgehammer to the gut. I saw it.

Someone was limping out of it where they take literal concrete blocks and they take sledgehammers to it. They're real. They're not props. Watch number 42 in the back. He gets hurt. He gets hurt. He gets up limping. Yes, he's limping because a cinder block fell on his foot.

If you think it was bad. Like he's Wiley Coyote. If you think it was bad that Chief Osceola couldn't stick the landing with that spear, wait till Dabo is somersaulting down the hill. We have that too. We're just setting up everything here. Look at this. This is sad.

The crowd's ready for it. Gets to midfield. This is the big moment. I will throw this down now. And it falls instantly. Oh, that's great. Predictive analysis. Yeah.

Terrible waste of cinder blocks as well that I just saw. Those things are valuable. They build houses. What are you wasting them for? I got so many nude pictures sent to me yesterday, Dan. I just wanted you to know that. What? I've never gotten so many.

Sorry about that. No, not from you, Chris. It was from people with six packs. So many. And I thought that maybe being on your show or nothing personal of being bigger and better that I'd get a different type of picture. Instead, I got so many people who listen to your show and my show lifting their shirt and sending me that.

I owe Ricardo Montelban an apology. Evidently, Khan and Star Trek, that was not a chest prosthetic for Ricardo Montelban. That is his actual chest. And I always thought that that was a prosthetic. David Samson accused Michael Irvin of being on steroids or performance enhancers yesterday because he has that stomach. And so I mentioned that Khan from Star Trek had a prosthetic chest, but I evidently got it wrong. And my apologies, I don't know. Ricardo Montalban is no longer with us, correct?

I'm going to assume, no, but it would have been a $50 fine if he was still with us. I don't think he's still with us. But my humblest apologies to Ricardo Montelban. You're the gotcha guy.