The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz - #BecauseMiami: Wasting Away Again in DeSantistan

Episode Date: September 8, 2023

Comic Dave Williamson joins Billy Corben in the co-host chair this week. You can find his info at davewilliamsoncomedy.com. Ron Magill has beef with his bosses due to a proposed waterpark to be built in a section of ZooMiami that has endangered native animals. Ron risks his job to tell us why this proposal is a terrible idea. Plus, county animal shelters are overfilled due to the overpopulation of strays. Rita Schwartz of Pet Trust Miami tells us how this is Miami Dade County mayor Daniella Levine-Cava's fault. And we pay tribute to a true Florida legend...the late Jimmy Buffett. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

You're listening to Giraffe King's Network. Cats, dogs, bats, butterflies, nobody is safe. In Miami, Dade County, and let me tell you, no animal is safe around this guy. Dave Williamson, he loves animals, medium rare. Well, I wasn't sure where you were going with that. Well, this guy, you know, when you talk to most comedians and they're talking about, you know, smoking, they mean pot. But when Dave Williamson's talking about smoking,

talking about a brisket. Yeah, he's talking about a beautiful, beautiful, glorious, man mixes blends, barbecue and comedy. It's two of my favorite things in the whole world, and somehow I figured out a way to over and over again, bring them together. Nothing makes me happier when I can do something that involves both barbecue and comedy.

Dave Williamsoncomedy.com, he is our guest co-host for today. And now we're going to talk about animals that we don't eat, Dave. If you don't mind. No such thing. A man who needs no introduction, Miami legend, Miami-Dade treasure. For 43 years, he has worked at Zoo Miami formerly Metro Zoo. He is the face of the zoo But he is joining us today not in that capacity as a cat Miami-Dade County employee But as a private citizen and I say is a private citizen because he's probably gonna get shit canned

They're probably going to fire him because he is risking it all Doing exactly what they told him not to do, which is to be wrong. Like, don't be wrong. Suppress your inner and outer run. Run, you're risking your job, literally. I mean, you were told not to speak up about this issue. What is the issue and why are you willing to lose your job a 43 years over it? They want to build a water park and this property on Zuma Army property on the Zuma Army Park

and La Propriety adjacent to Pine Rockland Forest, which is the single most critically endangered habitat in South Florida. Environmentalist researchers have gone in there and gotten the data to prove that that parking lot area is critical to the survival of endangered species. They use it as a faraging area. Right now there are no lights in that parking lot. It's dark at night. That's when the animals go out there and

Farge and feed. They use it as a conduit to get from one patch of the Pine Rockland to the other patch of the Pine Rockland. The bottom line is to build a water park there would totally remove their ability to Farge. It would be removing their ability to move from Pine Rockland to Pine Rockland. Basically, it would be helping to wipe out the single most endangered bat in the entire country, not to mention other animals. You know, I'm a conservationist, Billy. I worked over 40 years trying to build up credibility

and a reputation as someone who cares about wildlife and protecting wildlife. Those of us who know about the property there, know adjacent to that property, they built a Walmart, they built an LA fitness, they built hundreds of apartment buildings. We were told when they were knocking down Pine Rockland to build that area,

which is called the Coral Weave Commons, that we were forbidden from speaking on that. And nothing to do with us. And now we're all told, we can't, even though we're saying, God, this is just affecting the forest, it's affecting the health of everything around it. Can't comment it. And you know what?

I'm embarrassed and ashamed to say I listened, so I kept my mouth shut, and I really profoundly regret that. I'm not gonna do it again, listen, so I kept my mouth shut and I really profoundly regret that. I'm not going to do it again, especially in something in our own backyard. They originally wanted to put a hotel there. I wrote the developer in no uncertain terms and say, I will go ballistic on you if you think you're keeping a hotel there.

But they removed a hotel. But then all this new data came in showing how these animals are using that parking lot, that area. And when I say parking, like, it's not just paved over nothing parking lot. There are tree islands throughout that parking lot. There are grasses growing in different areas throughout that parking lot. And what I want to tell you, Billy, is they're trying to hang their hat on saying, well, we're not cutting down any pylons when I'm building on the pylons themselves.

No, you're not. You're building on areas that are crucial for foraging to feed the animals that live in those pylons. It's analogous to saying, you know what, I can protect my house. If you want to protect my house, you say you can't build anything on my property on my house. But if you destroy the roads and you destroy my access to the grocery store and my access to go to work to make a living, then I'm eventually going to eat a starboard die or be forced to move out. The problem with the animals that live in that pine rockland There's nowhere to move to they're just going to die an extinction is forever and I hear this backlash saying well You know, we're gonna produce millions of dollars for the zoo. Listen, let me be really really blunt here

Let's remember parachungal the promises made with parachungal and they moved it from Pynchrist to Watson Island. The zoo was promised $2 million in revenue from the parachungal that turned into jungle island. To this day, zoo has gotten now one penny, now one penny. All kinds of promises were made with projections about how many people were to know to go. It was going to be all this huge attendance. Nothing of that came for fruition. It was all basically pying the sky numbers so they could get the commission to approve that entire transfer over. The city of Miami lost tons of money on that. As we speak, Jungalan is trying to rebuild itself, rebuild a brand, still hasn't

made money to this day and has cost the Miami citizens a ton of money. I see the same thing happening for this water park at Zumaiam. I don't know if any water park really south of Palm Beach has ever been successful for any length of time. Plus, you know, listen, there are other places that this thing can be built. There are people in homestead people saying we got great property on here. This is not environmentally sensitive. And that's another thing. I know I'm rambling on here. But listen, when the voters voted for this back in 2006, 15 years ago, a whole lot has changed since then. We've learned a lot, Billy, I voted for it in 2006. I voted for it. We've now learned how critical this habitat is

for these endangered species and the health of the Pine Rockland. I changed my decision because we've learned this. Okay, it's like people who've done, then I climate change for how long will we, then I climate change, it doesn't exist, it doesn't exist. Are we still saying that now? Really? long will we deny climate change? It doesn't exist. It doesn't exist.

Are we still saying that now? Really? Why do we have to wait? Why do we have to take the test to get the grade? Why can't we listen to science, listen to research, and understand this is critical habitat? The zoo uses as its mantra conservation, connecting, caring. Really? So we're going to sell this out now for a water park and then the the

answer is yeah, but it could provide millions of dollars for the zoo. So what you're in effect telling me is that conservation is for sale for the right price. We'll sell it. Yeah, Ron, I read I read the op-ed and I got to say it was super inspiring first of all and just to clarify for people that don't you know get it or follow. You're talking about the animals in the environment around the zoo, like on the zoo property, not specifically just the animals that live within the zoo and close your cells.

Well, no, we're talking about the native animals, the native wildlife of Florida. Understand that the pine rockland on a zoo-mime property, zoo-mime is located on a 740 acres of property, of which a significant portion of that is Pine Rockland Habitat, the single most critically endangered habitat in the United States, and the largest piece of Pine Rockland outside

of Everglades National Park. Within that Pine Rockland are several endangered species that bonded it back, several butterflies, you know, so plants, they're several insects. All these animals are endangered species, don't occur anywhere else on Earth, so plants, there's several insects. All these animals are in danger species. Don't occur anywhere else on earth, on earth. And keep in mind, every year we're discovering new species in that pylon. It is the most biodeiverse natural habitat in South Florida. So this is something that needs to be protected. It is a treasure. If we lose that, you know, that I hate to sound cliche-ish,

but that term extinction is forever is real. Because if we lose these species, all the money in the world is going to buy them back. And honestly, do we need a water park? I had an ex-girlfriend who loved to go to water parks and I said, can't we just stay home and pee on each other? At least we know where it comes from. You're not sure. Don't go down. Let's just swim in a bunch of urine.

I don't understand about that. I don't understand about that. I'm a little tangent here. So let me, let me. A Walmart and a water park. What are they trying to do to that part of that? Let's talk about this one. So, we've already slashed and burned some of these

Pine Rocklands to build a Walmart, a car wash, a law fitness, as we call it in Miami. But let me ask you this, you wrote something really compelling that I found there, which is, to go to your point about the Mime Wilds developers arguing that, oh, this is just a parking lot. It's already paved, What's the big deal? You said something really interesting about the protections that were supposed to be in

place for the development that is already there, and it has disrupted, in fact, the climate and the environment for these animals, right? Absolutely. They have what they call these HCPs habitat conservation plans that the developer agrees to, that has to be accepted by the US Fish and Wildlife Department to get them to give them the permits to build there. So of course, they're all saying, yeah, we'll do it, we'll do it, we'll do it. It's not the plan, but they haven't done it. They've already been in non-compliance for several things.

The lighting is wrong. There are things that are already wrong in the building that they've done there, and it's changed the climate at the zoo itself. Billy, I've been going there, you know, for over 40 years. It used to be before that, that core weave commons was built. I drive down that drive to the zoo, and every morning you had this beautiful fog bank that was there. And that fog bank creates condensation and moisture that's important for the health and species of that forest. It also helps protect it against crazy fire, okay? That's all gone. I have not seen a single fog bank since that car weave commons is constructed. That's one thing. You have not seen a single fog bank since that car we've comments is constructed That's one thing you know these developers will promise you the world because they know at the end Nobody's gonna enforce it nobody's gonna make them comply to it

I'm tired of it. Fill me one shame on you. Fill me twice shame on me. It's not gonna happen It's not even shame on you Ron because you had faith that they were gonna Compromise and live up to what they said to allow both the thrive. And if they keep getting greedy and whittle away what the zoo is, which is one of the last great throwbacks when we grew up here and were kids. And you already mentioned the monkey jungle and the parrot jungle. And I won't even bring up the Sea of Crayon. But all these cool things that made Miami Miami because of greed or negligence are now

a waterpark. Might as or now all water part. Might as well be Wal-Mart water part. And this water part. That's not even bring up the traffic. The traffic which is beyond ridiculous. Sometimes it takes me 25 minutes to drive one mile from the zoo into the term pike entrance. And anybody who lives a long coral reef or in that neighborhood, in that area will tell you it is a disaster. We were promised traffic studies, which were never delivered, and we were told, oh, no,

we're going to leave you with the traffic. And now this developer is saying, if you open a water park, the traffic is already so bad, how are employees going to get to work? How are they going to leave work? And I said, we're going to make roads, special access roads for the employees. And they're going to build those roads over the critical habitat, over the filings, to do it again. That's what this is really about.

Rod's been like to work a lot lately. Yeah, this is it. This is a nimbi shit That's what this is really about. Rod's been like the word of law lately. Yeah, this is it. This is a nimbus shit here is what this is. Guys, you know, I'm going to say is I'm not going to quit. If they want to try to fire me, I can't believe that they would try to fire me. I think they could try to make my life miserable. But to try to fire me, I think would just expose them to so much more. It's like the old corporate seatings, you know, when a lawyer puts on a certain witness on the stand,

all of a sudden, he gives the other lawyer permission to cross examine. And trust me, there will be some serious cross examine. I'm tired of just tolling the line because someone told me so. You know, I only did that with my mom and my dad when I was a little kid. When I said, why? And they said, because I said, so that was good enough because they were my mom and my dad. And you should because you're literally an expert in this. And politicians, specifically all the time,

go in hard on certain things and causes, and they don't know anything about it. And you are somebody who has an expert in that category, in our community, and for them to not listen to you, or at least live up to their compromise is assamine to me. Well, for me, you should not be quite wrong. I don't want to profess to be the expert in everything, but I have been talking to the

experts that have not been questioned. I don't know why the commissioners have been spoken, for instance, to our conservation manager at the zoo. He's the guy who runs these conservation brothers. Been working so hard on this. You know why, Ron? You don't ask the questions if you don't want to know the answers. That's why, and as expected, I expected anyway, the county commission did defer the vote this week because you know, I'm having a dead, oh bullshit. Well, no, no, no,

because, to be honest with you, Billy, I really fully expected them just, they were going to ram it through. They were going to say, this is, this is, we're're going to ram it through but I am so profoundly appreciative to all those people who showed up when I couldn't because I had to be here in New York doing this but it was just an overwhelming number of people that showed up there and I'm sure they went oh we need to just do something quickly about this because we just can't accept this now and my understanding I think only three people spoke for the thing and there are hundreds there speaking against it. And one of the three people speaking against it didn't even speak against the water park. They spoke against me. This is the M.O. Ron. You were such a powerful voice. You made such a stink about it. They

realized with all the bad publicity, they're going to defer it because they don't want to pass this in the sunlight. They want to do it in the darkness, you know, while people aren't paying attention looking, but they screwed up. They screwed up because what they didn't realize was you were going to be at a town this week during the meeting and now that they've deferred it you will be in town and you will be at the me as a private citizen mind you right as a well see what happens they might say i want to give you the day off i'm serious they might say we're not going to give you the day off but i'll make it clear when they do that

ronne gill save travels thank you so much for everything appreciate you guys run run run run hey if ron does need a career pivot we did do a comedy show together the monster dogs of comedy so i'll get your substantiate time run i love you for the take care uh... to say it's been a rough week for florida Ron D. Santis is a massive understatement.

The Florida Governor's own presidential campaign is floundering and he's trailing the indicted ex-president by double digits in every poll. Congressional maps drawn by Governor Ron D. Santis must be redrawn. The state judge ruled the maps unconstitutional. Miblin' on pudding Who's in my footing? Who said that? Every single dagum pole Do you honestly believe that's credible? Garden to find

I deny climate science Oh, while the oceans begin in the boat all that's BS, totally BS Normal human smile If the Florida of today's tomorrow's USA Odeer Lord You got no chance at all America you are in danger girl Burn through campaign bucks Now a judge thinks my map sucks, apparently voting should be totally fair. But proud boys and notsees, they all still love me.

The country they want is a vision we share No truth, no blacks, no case Waste and away again, here in Descentistan Worlds free is state, if you're straight and white So white, so why, so why? I get annoyed by 15 year old boys Like women, they don't deserve to have rights It's the floor of today's tomorrow's USA The last thing we need to do is to monkey this up

all that's bs now totally totally bs no it's bs that as of this recording governor florida has not tweeted or honored or said anything about the passing of Florida's unofficial poet laureate the bard of Florida Jimmy Buffett. Unacceptable. I can put up with a lot of things in politics, but you better pay homage

to Mr. Florida himself, Jimmy Buffett, when he passes away and wants one of the best things about your state. I think Marjorie Taylor Greene even tweeted about him. I mean, this is a layup, this is a gimme. And by the way, if you really know anything about Florida, or if you have any soul at all, or understand the state that you are the governor of, you would fly the flags at half mass, seriously. You know what brings people together

from both sides of the aisle? Cheeseburger and paradise. You know, everyone likes a pickle, french fried potatoes, food. That's what brings people together. Margaritas. Do you always bring things back to food? Always.

Must you always say it's all I think about Billy. And also you as soon as he has a soul. I assume you, well, that, listen, when Rush Limbaugh died, he was the first person to honor him. And as far as I know, Rush Limbaugh, the only thing he contributed to the Florida economy was keeping the pill mills open with his

oxy buying but i will say this right now and this is really pissed off the governor eyes not listening it's not sure chris in a pasha chris in a pasha listen every week i bet pasha you don't think the santa's eight listens to this i'm sure it does and i will i will say this

that i uh... I'm sure he does. I will say this, that I... Oh, I noticed. There he is. I'm gonna do a spit take. I really wanna do a spit take. Oh, no, not Mike. Oh, I said, no. No.

Here's what I wanna say. Second only to Walt Disney. Jimmy Buffett has done more for this economy, for this state to bring more people here than anybody else. Jimmy Buffett personified and actually taught all of us what it means to be Floridians. And to your point, Dave, transcends politics.

It even transcends that Margaritaville lifestyle he was selling, and what it meant was, because the man's sung about the beach, he's sung about tourists, often derisively, he's sang about sailing, he's sang about the water, he's sang about hurricanes, he's getting drunk and screwing. Everything we love to do here in Florida,

but the point is that to be a Floridian is to be concerned about the environment, because the environment is our economy. That's what it is. The water makes us money, the beach makes us money. The beach makes us money. The drugs make us money. The drugs make the booze makes us money. Jimmy Buffett even got young Dave Williamson in middle school to read books. I was so enamored with Jimmy's story and I found out he was an author and I liked reading when I was little,

little, but when I got into high school, you know, you have to read the Odyssey and Dante's Inferno and it gets real like, you know, and when I heard that Jimmy Buffett was an author, I started reading fiction. And was there as Joe Merchant, Tales from Marker Reade, a bill bestselling author? No, unless.

Yeah, I like such captivating stuff for a kid who grew up here. And there's some more ties too because I went to Auburn University up in Alabama and he has some ties with that area. I've been in New Orleans a bunch of times. He dropped out of Auburn. He did.

Jimmy did. When I was at Auburn, there was a rumor that his daughter was there at the time and I was like, I just want to be friends with her. Savannah. Yeah. So they wrote a children's book together, Jimmy and Savannah. Yeah. That's the thing too is like he's an extraordinarily accomplished.

He's an economy in himself with all these different ways. I always love this, because I get in my own head when someone's 27 years old and they Amy Winehouse dies, and it makes me feel so unaccomplished when I'm like, what amazing art that person made at the time I was still going to the frat parties at UM. That person's already accomplished all this art. And now I'm in my 40s and you know, I've dedicated my life to, you know, putting art out there. Jimmy, his seventh album was his first hit, you know? He pumped out seven albums and then went mainstream and then still did all these things

we're talking about. Margarita machines and there's an old folks community up in central Florida where they all wear Hawaiian shirts and throw interesting parties. And I mean, it's just so, so interesting that he's done so much. Like, what a guy, dude. And if you're a Florida dad, who had a Florida dad, like this, this hurt, like it really did. And I was like profoundly, so we've been talking for like 12 years about making a documentary about Jimmy Will Jimmy. And I think we should still do it.

Well, I'll tell you what, I've seen Jimmy in concert more than I've seen any other artist. And I think it's, I was thinking about it. The first time I ever saw him was at Marine Stadium. You know, people don't know, yeah, it was probably like early 80s. Yeah. You were at that show? Now my parents' boat, I don't know how old I was, but I was very young and got to see Jimmy perform

a marine stadium. And then the last time I saw him was September 2021 at Red Rocks, where I got to open for Burt Cresher at Red Rocks, and then we stuck around a night because Jimmy was performing the night, well, I'll do you one better than that. How cool is this? It's a guy, a lifelong Jimmy Buffett fan. Jimmy was performing the night before us and the night. Well, I'll do you one better than that. How cool is this? Is it got a lifelong Jimmy Buffett fan?

Jimmy was performing the night before us and the night after us. And Bert's from Florida too, so he's a big Jimmy fan. So Bert told them you can leave Jimmy's stuff on stage for our show. So when we went out to do our comedy show, Carl Redrock's set up. The bond goes just behind me fake seagulls

Pelicans sand on the ground beach balls. I'm like I'm performing at Red Rocks in front of Jimmy Buffett's stuff I mean how cool is that dude? That's amazing He has the greatest last line of any song. Here's the thing people know like the songs you know by heart There's like 12 13 songs that most people know of his. The man did an album a year for over 20, 30 years. His output and his song book is ridiculously extensive. And 1978, Manana, it's, I think, one of the greatest last lines of any song ever.

And he says, I hope Anita Bryant never, ever does one of my songs. It was like, it was funny, it was political, it was subversive, maybe, you know, maybe a little too woke. In Miami, we are definitely not woke. But this is a guy that came to Miami from Nashville to Key West and then to Coconut Grove and recorded a criteria studios and invented

first a genre of music, and then a lifestyle, and then he was the OG Florida man. Before Florida man had any of those negative connotations, it was like he was the Florida. And he was a pilot too. I always connected on that too. I got my pilot's license when I was in a college reading in the books where he would fly his big C plane around.

And my dad, when I was growing up, flew a ultra lights down here with the floats on it we'd land in the Piscayne Bay or on a lake somewhere and there's just so many connection points I have a Jimmy Buffett where I felt like when I heard his songs or read his books like he was talking to me and I think a lot of people felt that way. His song everybody got their pilot's license right? And they're talking about and I hope they do it. They're talking about it. I hope they do it naming the Key West Airport. Oh, Jimmy Buffett Airport. And they should ask for it.

By the way, I was in Key West two weeks ago, and I'm gonna be in Key West doing a show in two weeks. I was just a few weeks off, either direction of being in Key West during all this celebration of Jimmy Buffett. Amazing. What have been such a cool thing to experience there? I know you're gonna have something to complain about.

So you should call the because Miami complaint line, 786-505-9842. Complain about date. I thought you were specifically talking to me. I go, I never complained about it. I'm a pretty positive person. 786-505-9842. And I just want to say that Jimmy Buffett's song book

is just boundless with just anthems and overflowing with love letters to my home state and pirates, dreamers, fruit cakes, and honestly just when I feel like sailing off this God for Saken peninsula, Jimmy calls me back like a siren song. Just get a cold drink, a boat drink, and put on some good tunes, and remind you of all the awesome stuff in this world. Raisa Margarita de Jimmy, it's 5 o'clock everywhere. Dave, Miami-Dade Mayor Daniela Levine KKava has gotten the nickname Cruella Levine-Kava.

For the people who say, oh, Billy, you never talk shit about Democrats. Pay attention. Look closer. Listen closely. I actually listen to the guy that showed... I talk shit about everybody. What are you talking about? I both hate everything and don't talk shit about Democrats.

Come on now. Daniel Levine-Kava, and I have to, here's the thing, it's my obligation because I told people to vote for her, and I will tell you that she is not just stabbed us in the back, the people who supported her. She is stabbed us directly between the eye. She doesn't even care enough to sneak around my height. She's just gonna have the respect to say,

thank you. Oh, sorry, Roy. So much editing. So much editing. So much editing. So much editing. So I tried to do a top five. Dave, I tried to do a top five, Daniella disasters since she took office three years ago.

I couldn't do it because we always go over time. I couldn't get any fewer than 10. So it is a top 10, Daniella disasters. Starting with number 10, the environment. We just talked about this with Ron McGill, so I don't really need to go into it, but it's a disaster. Number nine, her administration can't even do payroll correctly. People aren't getting paid.

People are getting paid too much. People aren't getting paid, and now don't worry, rest assured, they're doing an internal audit by the very same people who screwed up the payroll are now going to investigate the payroll. That'll be square. Number eight, she took a creepy free trip to Qatar. This is she is a big soccer fan and her lobbyist set it up. He works for her and for Qatar. And so here's this misogynist anti-Semitic racist government who built soccer stadiums with slave labor,

who killed my slave, migrant slave labor, who died building a soccer, and she went there to learn how to do it for World Cup, coming up in my, I'm laughing, it's not funny. I'm sure she had good intentions. It's not funny and she lied about how much it cost and they do business. This is the worst thing you can say in Miami.

Qatar does business with the communist regime of Cuba. Come on in, come on in, come on in. Number seven, solid waste management is a shit show. Buzzer. I don't even know where to say this is like the basic stuff you want from your government, right? Make the lights go green and red. Yeah, trash. And collect my trash, right?

Well, the director of Miami-Dade Public Works and Wasteman quit. He said, we're gonna need, he goes, there's too much trash. We're gonna need a construction moratorium, which is like half the economy, by next year because our incinerator burnt down in Dural. And- With the incinerator itself burnt down? It's a literal dumpster, fine case. The incinerator got incinerated.

The incinerator incinerated itself, and we're doubling our trash fees and the environmentalist mayor, it looks like on her watch, they may end the recycling program because it's too expensive. Number six. I'm not the cute it's too expensive. Number six. I'm not the cute tar.

Cute tar. Cute tar. I'm not the cute tar. I'm not the cute tar. I'm not the cute tar. I'm not the cute tar. Number six, you down with UDB? Yeah, you know me.

The UDB is the urban development boundary. It's where we say... I knew that. Yeah, it's where we say, hey, we're going to stop slashing and burning the Everglades and allow the natural habitat here to exist and the clean water to exist. I remember my parents tell me like, oh, yeah, when I was a kid, we used to ride horses right here. And now they're all the way out to the, that far west and they can't go any further because the Everglades are. And now it's like twice

as far. And, and now we get Chick-fil-A here. Where we used to ride horses because hate tastes great. And by the way, we keep moving the UDB line while the environmentalist mayor is sitting there at the wheel, we just keep slashing and burning, building warehouses and bullshit in the most extraordinary natural habitat on the earth. Hmm. Number five, Daniela Vinkava, our progressive democratic mayor, appointed

a proud boy to a county office. This is a man who along with Enrique Tariot, who just got the main dude, right? Number one, number one, Miami's number one, the longest sentence 22 years. We have leaders out here for January 6, defendant. He got sentenced. He was protesting with this guy Kevin Cabrera who is now elected to the Miami-Dade County Commission because Miami and Janiel Levine Kava thought it would be a good idea to put him on a board for international trade. So he is the proudest boy of the mall and so far unindicted number four. MCM is still getting county contracts. What is MCM you may ask?

You're sticking that, yeah. MCM is the company that is co-owned by cousins of the former Miami-Dade Mayor, Carlos Jimenez, and they built the FIU bridge. That collapsed and killed six people. I heard the heard about that, yeah. They built it and they now have a $70 million contract for the airport one of our most important pieces of infrastructure well you know they learn from their mistakes believe in my gosh and they continue to work on water and sewer projects crucial infrastructure in the county thanks to deniel living coven administration

number three bum uh... affordable housing uh... she cannot even hurt administration cannot manage her facilitated affordable housing. She cannot even, her administration cannot manage her facilitate an affordable housing program in the least affordable housing market in the entire country. They have millions of dollars to give away to landlords, of course, in a pretty misguided program, but they've only paid out about 3% of the entire program.

They can't even, like, they don't even know what they're doing with the applications. It's a mess. I can't even imagine what the final ones are here. Number two, Miami-Dade County jail conditions. There's your affordable housing. For 10 years. No, we got to pay for that. Yes, and we have to pay for this.

A record number of inmates over the last three years since Daniela Vincolbeett became mayor are dying and committing suicide in the Miami-Dade corrections. And this is a problem that the feds had been overseeing for 10 years going, you guys need to get your act together. And come October, the deadline is up and the feds could conceivably take over the Miami-Dade corrections.

Number one's gonna be juicy. Number one is the juiciest of all. It's animal services, Dave. Oh! That is, you like little, little, you like, I got a juicy. I got a, oh yeah, I thought you were saying to my dog, so I was like, yeah, we've been going over this.

We smoked dogs before, yeah. We had animal services. Hot dogs. Animal services, this was to be the animal rights mayor, the environmentalist mayor. We have pollution in the bay destroying manatees Habitat we have marine life suffering. We have Lolita the whale the orca from Miami-C aquarium dying in captivity After over 50 years in the smallest tank for an orca in the world

Well all those dogs with the overpopulation they did just bring them to the prison system and give them to the prisoners and then they'll be, it's like a surface animal. Or we bring them to one of your shows. Reed is not gonna like this, because I was gonna say, that's a good segue. So bring it to my shows. September 24th at the day you'll be a gympirov. I'll be there with Fora Shaw, who's a big manatee advocate.

I love Fora Shaw. We have the Merman podcast and all we do is talk about Lolita and Manatees and it seems like he steers everything in that direction. I'm so excited for you guys because I used to go to your gigs like in the shittiest venues in Miami. You're a huge supporter man in the early days. And I love you guys are like local guys made good and I see you traveling the world with Burke Christchurch who's hilarious and amazing.

It's been a wild ride man, it's been so cool. And then, so it's cool because Forrest and I've gone different directions and then, because he went and opened with like Jim Jeffries and Bill Byrne, I've been open with Byrne and we've been headlining our own shows. And I don't get to see him that much anymore. So we're not in, you know, it's like here

where we do shows together. So now we're gonna go do this tour together and promote our podcast, The Mermaid, Key West Miami, Daniel. And speaking of barbecue, yeah. Rita Schwartz is the co-founder of Pet's Trust Miami. It's a nonprofit volunteer group focused primarily on reducing the stray animal population in Miami, Dave County.

Rita, my understanding is that mission is not going so well. What is the problem? It's horrible. Well, in 2012, it was on the ballot and 500,000 people voted for the Pets Trust, which was to stop the killing of 20,000 animals that come into animal services every year, historically, and 65% of the people voted for it. And our elected officials never implemented it. So, since Mayor Cava has been in office for the last three years, she has not increased spaying and neutering.

It stayed flat at 25,000 a year. The pet stress would be doing 120,000 spaying and neutering. It stayed flat at 25,000 a year. The pet stress would be doing 120,000 spaying and neutering a year. The only way to get ahead of the overpopulation crisis. So we are falling farther and farther behind. And my understanding is right now we have this new 15 new-ish 15 million dollar animal services building for the county in Deral that is now at least twice if not more so, twice overcrowded, that they've now had to open or reopen the closed facility in another part of town,

which looks like some sort of, like only described as like an animal concentration camp or something out there. It's a house of horrors, it's a dungeon. It looks like a jail cell. If you go there, you'll see it's surrounded by fences, engage and sign saying, you know, if you enter, you'll be put in jail.

So yes, seven years ago, when they built the new shelter, that was there. Oh, that's how they're going to correct this. But as we can see, since they're not addressing the root of the problem, which is overpopulation, more and more animals come in. So now the new facility in Dral, we're up to $37 million. It's double capacity. These poor animals are even though it's air condition. These animals are in small cages. They're not being walked. No human interaction. This is animal abuse

no human interaction. This is animal abuse to the highest degree. And now, you know, they're putting the animals in the old dilapidated shelter that was deemed, you know, deplorable seven years ago. And these animals with no air conditioning in this record heat, no water. I was there, you know, before we had a protest, animals outside with no water in this horrible heat for days. This is, like I said, animal abuse to the highest degree. Read it. Let's put numbers, you know, to these facts here, the new Miami-Dade pet adoption and protection center can comfortably house up to 300 dogs currently caring for over 650. It remains a no-kill shelter, but the conditions, I mean, seem beyond unacceptable there.

Let me ask you this. What happened here? It reminds me a little bit of the invasive iguana and the Python crisis, like people took on pets and then didn't want pets anymore where people looking for comfort during the pandemic and then want to want to give them up. Why is this problem so out of control? No, this has been going on for the last 10 years and that's why in 2012, we came up with a solution. This has been going on for over 10 years. This is just an excuse with the

pandemic. We actually had less adoptions during the pandemic. So This is just an excuse with the pandemic. We actually had less adoptions during the pandemic. So this is just another excuse. Oh, why? We have so many animals has nothing to do with a pandemic. If you look it up, you will see that there were less adoptions. The reason why it looks, you know, better is because it was closed the whole time during the pandemic, so no animals were coming in. So let me ask you this, though.

People go with animals, unwanted animals, animals they find on the street, animals that need food, shelter, animals that need to be spayed, or neutered, rest in peace, Bob Barker. That's what we like, is to skip school to hear Bob Barker. Remind us that at the end of every

price is right episode. But Rita, people go with these animals and the place is closed for $37 million. All this money we're spending. There's no right. They're turned away. Our tax dollars are spent on a closed shelter. If you go there with an animal, whether it's a stray, you found on the street or for whatever reason, you need to surrender your dog or cat. They are closed intake. Right now, like you said, it's supposed to hold 300 animals. It's double capacity.

It's 650 animals. These poor animals are cage. They're not rocked. There's no human contact. And this is animal abuse because animals that are potty trained, they hold it. And for these animals that are not being let out and walked, it's animal abuse because they're stuck in these cages. because they're stuck in these cages. And for Mayor Daniela Levine, Cava to say, oh, this is a safe place for animals, it couldn't be farther from the truth. These animals are suffering,

whether it be the new shelter, or the old shelter, and the proof is in the numbers. For the last 10 years, 30,000 animals come in every single year. Adoptions have stayed the same and Span Newter has been flat when it should be increasing desperately. Rita Miami, Dave Mayor Daniela Levine, Kava ran as the wildlife mayor, the animal lover, the environmentalist. What message do you have to send to her? So I'd like to say Mayor Cava and her lack of actions have created terrible

situation for the animals. The buck stops at the top. This is animal abuse to the highest degree and mayor living Cava is responsible for this. Rita Schwartz, pets,ets Trust Miami.com. Please go to the website, find out what you can do. Thanks so much, Rita, for being here. Thank you. The because Miami version of the Wheel of Issues is the Wheel of Despair.

It's always good news. I normally go on shows and we talk about comedy, and barbecue, and sometimes water polo even, and then water purers. It's the Wheel of Despair. Water polo. Let's add water polo to that. I'm a bit of a water polo guy, but we're a wheel of despair. We should do it. We're pickle polo.

Water polo. See, I coach water polo so that I can raise young men and women up into leaders of our community through high school sports so that we don't have to talk about these despair issues. I try to keep kids from becoming proud boys. That's the point. You're a regular urban myer.

A molder of men. A molder of men you are. He has a motor on my shirt. Swap kings on their way. The original swaps. More like speedo swaps about. But it's true, man. The proud boy stuff that you're getting into it.

It's like, why don't we don't know if we're getting into it? Well, I think you've already mentioned it several times. Yeah, well, we were talking before. You're getting into it. Well, I think you've already mentioned it several times. Yeah, well, we were talking before, you're gonna talk about it again, trust me. I read the show sheet. All right. In fact, it's on the world three times. I remember being a kid, and they always said,

like, join a team, not a gang. And I was like, wait, who's making the decision? But it's really true. When you have something that you're a part of, that's why these guys do all these political problems and it says the well-formed militia and your kid and you're like,

there's never gonna be a militia again. We don't know those times, and now there's lots of militias. It's because people wanna be a part of something. It's a different trend. Yeah, no, I think you're right. I think sports are usually like the outlet for men to like express their emotions in ways that they're told to otherwise suppress.

Politics had become sports in that way. So you have the camaraderie of a team and something to root for. And 100%. And when we were younger, I don't remember you like, you might have been into politics, Shrolyte, but when I first met you and we'd have a beer, the improv or whatever,

it's not like it was everything we talked about, right? And now you're very heavy into politics because it's a very polarizing thing. It feels necessary that we're involved. We had the luxury when we were younger to just be like, ah, politics is for nerds. Like we didn't have to think about it every minute. Now you feel like you have to think about it every minute

because it affects so much of our life. And that is why we call it the wheel of despair. What is there? You're right. What are the topics for this week? All right, we have Nathies. Told you. Proud boys. Wait, there are two separate categories.

Two separate categories. One A, one B. Flahra. Shit man. School vouchers. Oh, shake down street. That's about Miami. Water polo.

Ha ha ha. And the measurement of black voters. Ah. Which way? Ah ha ha ha. Ah ha ha ha. It did not land on water polo. It's not this.

Not this. Hold the roof, Ben. Here. Oh, it's Nazis. For this, at least the second, if not the third time this year, real life neo-Nazis, not BLM, not Antifa, not the FBI, not Democrat, undercover spies, real Nazis popped up in Central Florida in Orlando, right outside Disney World, that big overpass over I-4, there they are, and the ones outside of Disney World, of course, were in addition to the swastika and the peto world

signs. They also had their proudly waving their DeSantis 20-24 flag as well, so this is what's happening. It's a joke, I don't, I don't got jokes for this. I mean, there's f***ing Nazis on the streets of Disney World. Even in your heart, if you don't think you're a bad guy and you believe in the things you're saying and doing politically, if those people have your back

and are cheering for you, you might want a second guess who's connecting with your viewpoints. And he also hasn't said anything about it, like Jimmy Buffett. He's just like, he just nothing to say about this. It's just, and that's the thing too. They picked Disney for a reason. They picked Disney because DeSantis. And these are the folks that he appeals to.

There's a direct straight line here from Ron DeSantis, his Say and rolling out a red carpet for Nazis in central florida Well rest assured if I know one thing is a Jimmy Buffett hated Nazis What's next It did not land a waterpeller the the measurement of black voters. That's what we are The, the measurement of black voters. That's what we are. So finally, some good news this week, although I'm sure it won't last once it gets to the Florida Supreme Court, but a Florida judge found that Rhonda Santis' racially Jerry mandored congressional map is in fact unconstitutional.

And we talked about this actually, Roy, you might remember with state rep Angie Nixon. Last week, she talked about that district, which was traditionally right across the Panhandle majority black district that Rondasand is deliberately Jerry mandered to not only disenfranchised black voters but to increase Republican representation in a traditionally black part of the state of Florida. If you're not eating you're not trying That's another one of those things that when I learned about it as a kid I was like man

I can't believe people used to do that. Well thank goodness. I live in a world where we're or pass that and no one would ever do that now And then here we are come from my forties and it's happened Roy, what's next it did not land on school vouchers it landed on shakedown street so can we just appreciate for a moment that there was good news on the wheel of despair this week can we have a moment yeah water polo's good news yeah I mean of course in the next several weeks we will we it did not land on water, Paulo. You know, Madam, maybe if it lands on water, Paulo, when I'm not here.

Molder, if men. Oh, I'll let you know. So, Miami City Commissioner Diaz Laportia, Alex Diaz Laportia, has been sued for a shakedown. And this is exactly the kind of corruption we've been talking about going on here in the city of Miami. They are calling it attempted bribery of an elected official and an unlawful bribery

scheme. He tried to shake down because of Miami, this guy that operates the Rick and Bacchard Marina. So of course it's a Marina hustle and this contract is up for grabs. And Diaz Laportea sent sent his bag man a former city commissioner who was twice removed from office who is disbarred and who and who was arrested twice once by the feds for mortgage fraud and money laundering and once by

the state for election fraud how do you find the stuff out the movie ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha in like just a notorious scumbag and corrupt. He's now the commissioners bag man. And all the commissioners now in the mayor, of course, they all have bag men or women. There's also bag women, let's, because this is an equal opportunity corrupt place. Yeah, as we, what, in Miami we are definitely not woke.

Well, we're a little woke when it comes to our bag men, because we also have bag women. We're a little sleepy, we're a little sleepy. We're woke when it's convenient to what we want to be. I don't know all the pronouns of all the bag men and women, but there are bag men and there are bag women. And you literally, I think there is one particular commissioner who I was told, if you pay $100,000 to the Hartiman family, you will have Christine King's vote on the Miami City Commission.

Oh, did I say those names out loud? I said those names out loud. That is, all the commissioners have a price and they all have gatekeepers. And you can't even get a meeting with them now, unless you hit up Humberto Hernandez and he says, this is how much money I need here. Here what they were doing with this marina operator

who has operated the Rick and Backer for 40 years. They went to him and they said, allegedly, in this lawsuit, you need to put this guy, our associate, into your deal, and then you'll get Commissioner Diazlo Portia's vote, and you'll get the contract, but we need our guy in on this thing. I mean, water polo, let's talk water polo. I don't know.

I don't know. I don't know. I like, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're the comedian's thesis. Here's the thing, but this is, this is par, to use a water polo reference.

This is par for the course. Is that water polo? I don't know water polo. Oh, it's sports terms. Yeah, I'll just get a, sports. So, so this is,

It's a birdie. Do it, do it, do it, do it, wait Roy, do we have time for, do we have time for water polo? Let's, let's roll the wheel again, see where it lands.

I can't believe it. Do proud boys play water polo? I mean everybody loves water polo. Yeah, no one has screws. Not ones that I've coached. I'll tell you that because I coach them up to be men of character. Well, to be fair, these men are nearly derailed to 220 plus your tradition of the peaceful transition of power in this country. That's pretty impressive.

If they had just been a little more organized. If they had just learned teamwork. I'm more in speedos. I don't know, man. If they had just learned teamwork. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Watch, watch me work. So I just saw a not too long ago on Instagram that where I played water polo in Miami at Miami Palmetto High School, where I'm also a notable alum with Mr. Ron McGill and one of the current, Jeff Bezos. And Jeff Bezos and Kibos Lice and one of the current Supreme Court justices.

My girlfriend that I dated while I was at Palmetto High School was running for commission on Miami Beach, so Marcella,lla and metal art so in my point is uh... paul metal esteemed more people like that are just regularly committed in the community need to get involved in politics that have good hearts and are willing to do the right job for the people dav williamson comedy dot com check him out the merman

merman podcast with a podcast for a shot who i, and I love you. And thank you so much for coming, and but thank you for not bringing meat. I understand. I brought some of my rubs. I sell in all purposes in a row, but brought you guys a box.

You guys can buy them at Dave Williamsoncomedy.com. I'm coming back to South Florida. We're doing a whole tour, Key West Miami, Dania Improv, tickets at Dave Williamson.com. Comedy and a rub. It's a full service operation. Every show's got a happy ending at Dave Williamson.com. Comedy Anna rub, it's a full service operation. Every show's got a happy ending with Dave Williamson. Speaking of which, our Miami Moment this week

brings back Alberto Hernandez, Alex Diaz-Lipertia's bag man and classic scumbag. This is a clip from Steve Croft's 60 Minutes piece from 1998 called Welcome to Miami. And if you wanna know what's plaguing the Miami of today you need to look at the Miami of like 1997 to 2001. That's something I want to talk about in the future on this podcast. In the meantime, your Miami moment, Cocaine's.

In 1994 Hernandez was fired from his job as assistant city attorney because he was running a private legal practice out of the city office. He was also accused of ambulance chasing after the value jet plane crash in the Everglades. His associates allegedly were found passing out his law firms' business cards on a bus carrying families of the crash victims. After Hernandez was indicted last summer on the bank fraud and money laundering charges, Governor Charles removed him from the city commission. Hernandez ran for re-election anyway, and Miami voters who don't seem to mind

electing suspected criminals, returned him to office with 65% of the vote. Mayor Suarez then elevated him to chairman of the city commission. This is almost a definition of a third world banana republic. definition of a third world banana republic.