The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz - Best of DLS: 15 Minutes of Miami Inventions (feat. Jim Rome)

Episode Date: December 26, 2025

If you thought that last hour was weird, just wait. This one starts with 15 minutes of taking calls about Miami inventions. Did you know that sun tan lotion and sunscreen are two different things? Then, we have a classic interview with Frank Caliendo as Jim Rome answering 10 questions and taking the bow to the wow. Then we spend some time with our dear friend Stan Van Gundy, where he makes an admission about Bernie Bickerstaff and tells us his All-Star Game hot dog story. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Mike, you know I have one rule to live by, right? Don't place parlays on multiple long shots. Don't say a game is one when it hasn't hit triple zero. Always drink your Yeagermeister ice cold. That's the rule. Everything else is merely a suggestion. Everything else? Everything else.

Wearing clean underwear every day? Well, that's just a personal decision. Brushing your teeth? Obviously smart, but not a rule. Never pee-pee on an electric fence. Okay, maybe there are two rules. But the one that is 100% that I insist on completely, Yeagermeister must be drank ice cold.

Or don't drink it at all. Damn, that's cold. Exactly. You're finally starting to get it. Drink responsibly. Yeagermeister liqueur 35% alcohol by volume imported by mass Yeagermeister U.S. White Plains, New York. the Dan Levatore show with the Stucats podcast.

All right, Chris, if you thought that hour was strange. Wow, it's going to get weirder. So we're about to listen to Dan, Stu, and Hawk take 15 minutes of calls live on the radio, asking people for things that were invented in Miami. I like them. it yeah it's it's it's bizarre um and what's really fun is to show you how long ago this was someone mentions that a guy from miami invented amazon nobody knew that jeff bezos his name that's how long ago this is before everyone started their business in miami yes exactly

yeah that's exactly right um and then uh we have uh you'll hear dan interviewing a fake Jim Rome. Frank Calliendo is fake Jim Rome asking what's supposed to be 10 questions. Again, some editing we had to do. Then a couple of moments with Stan Van Gundy that include him telling a story about almost eating the hot dog in the middle of an all-star game he was supposed to be coaching. And Dan making an admission about Bernie Bickerstaff that is, embarrassing that well i'll just tell you it's embarrassing so you guys can enjoy uh the final hour

of this week next week we got something kind of different and special coming at you not quite the same as this but we are going in a bit of a way back machine so we'll have some stuff coming for you next week but hey enjoy um your day after christmas i hope you're getting to spend it with family and not working and uh yeah we'll see you next week guys i think burger king started in Miami. I'm having a difficult time believing that we don't have a single great inventor or invention of Miami.

The many texters are pointing out that Pitbull's mother invented Pitbull. Valid point. I mean, that's a valid point. He is certainly a source of civic pride. They're also pointing out we invented cocaine. We didn't invent it. Our downtown is built atop a foundation of it, but we did not invent cocaine.

buildings built out of cocaine. Made out of cocaine. It's not concrete. A lot of people think it's poured concrete. It's actually poured cocaine. Not so. That is true. We don't have a single great adventure. It's shocking. We have nothing. We're a major city. Like nothing? Well, I think somebody's going to come up with something.

786-360-0790. Just because we don't know, does it make it? So remember, we're dumb. But what's based down here? You've got Burger King is based down here. We didn't invent Burger King. Carnival Cruise line is based down here. Do we event the cruise industry? I don't think so. Did we? Do we

met the crews? Did Mickey invent it? Spirit Airlines is based down here. We invented little tickey tech fees. Al, you're on 790. Yes, the inventor and founder of Amazon went to Palmetto Senior High in Miami, Florida. So there's one. See that? Yeah. See that? Getting smarter. I've heard that before, actually. But that's not really an invention. The guy made a store.

He just opened a successful store. I'm talking about like inventing a computer chip. Right. The guy opened a successful bookstore. You're talking like Bill Gates. Like somebody who invented something. I mean, would you, the guy that invented Barnes & Noble, like, okay, you invented a bookstore. So what?

Fairport. Copycote. Well, how many great, I mean, is it the iPhone, like, how many great inventions have been in the last two years? I'm looking in the studio you guys are sitting in. The microphone is a great invention. The headphones are beats by Dre. Are you wearing those?

Are you wearing Beats by Dre right now, those headphones? Dr. Dre, Dr. Dre from NWA, invented something great. He's from California. Wait a minute. That's all he did. He didn't invent. The headphones were already invented, and he created something else off of them. He made it better.

You can't say that Dr. Dre beats by Dre is a better invention than Amazon. I think it's more of an invention than Amazon. I'm sticking with that Burger King invented really good fast food onion rings. Are they based down here or they have an office down? I think Burger King is based down here. Tracy, you're on, yeah, they were headquartered. Aren't they moving? I think they're moving.

Tracy, you're on $790, Tracy. Guys, two major inventions from Miami, Fire Rescue Department, invented fire rescue here. And the thing that lets doctors and paramedics share EKGs to limit me, also invented here. There you go. Wait a second, wait a second. We didn't invent rescuing people from fires, cavemen invent.

I mean, anyone who saw someone in a fire said, I got to get that guy out of the fire. Now, now, now, don't be a hater. The whole concept was invented here. Go fat check me. No, don't take credit for that. That's ridiculous. We'll give you credit for your second one, but I mean, we invented in fire rescue.

Like, what the hell does that mean? I think we have it here. The co-founder of Facebook, many people are saying what, the Gulliver Prep. Co-founder of Facebook. Oh, I mean, what is it? It's an electronic yearbook. Yearbooks have been around forever. You're dismissing Facebook.

Tony, you're on 790 the ticket, Tony. Go ahead, Tony. Frank, you're on 790, Frank. We, the people of Miami, are the inventions of Churros. Churros. No, that's from Mexico. Mike, you're on 790, the ticket, Mike. What about Alienware?

What? Huh? Goulet, you're on 790, the ticket, Goulet. Yes, a Miami Beach woman invented It's sunscreen, sunscreen. Now, if that's the case, if that's the case, that's a great invention. Is that so?

No, I'm on it, then. We continue with this. I want to continue with this throughout the weekend. Pretty interesting, no. Not really. We need to know more about the city that we work in. 360-0-790. We would, but we're dumb.

Email her rights in, we invented Medicare fraud. I would say we perfected that. That in foreclosures. We didn't invent them. Somebody else invented them, but we mastered it. About Miami's subs. A brand, Stugats. Polio tropical.

What? Well, if we invented tropical polio, that would be something. Stucgans. Are you getting the difference between inventions and brand? What we're getting it. It's just you feel like other cities. Like, didn't Seattle, don't they have Boeing? Like, didn't they invent modern jet airplanes?

Right? Like, didn't that come out of Seattle? Well, that's not fair what you're doing there. What do you mean? What you called Amazon just a store? Like, there was an airplane invented before they invented their bubble. Didn't Amazon essentially invent e-commerce? Yeah, but then, I mean, commerce was already around.

E-commerce. Textor writes in, the first suntan lotion was invented by a Miami Beach pharmacist, Benjamin Green in 1944. Does that count? No, I have an Austrian guy doing it in 1936. Sunscreen and sun lotion are two different things. Are you looking at like sun tanning lotion? That makes you get a better tan? Because we're talking about sunscreen, which actually prevents the UV rays. I'm talking sunscreen. Milton Blake.

This person is writing that sun tanning. lotion was invented by a Miami Beach pharmacist. Well, I'm just telling you, sun protection and products guide.com is telling me that Milton Blake invented it. Stugat. Sun tan lotion and sunscreen are two different things. We didn't invent the suntan lotion either. This is such cliched sports radio. It's not cliched, but man, is it bad?

It's Montana or Marino all over again. Some tan or sunscreen. Some textures did write in. Ah, Benjamin Green, 1940s, Miami, Florida physician. Coppertoe. Okay, that's a good invention, sunscreen. Yeah, that's solid. That's suntan lotion.

That's a bad invention, then. Bad invention. It's green or lotion, though? Oh, for the love of God, you guys, I'm going to wrestle you in the hallway. I mean... Well, we would agree, though, that suntan lotion was actually bad. We didn't know at the time. I mean, it's like...

He invented something cancer. Right. It's like inventing the cigarette. Right. It was great back then. they thought it cured everything, and now we know, maybe not the greatest invention. Danny, you're on $790, the ticket, Danny. Incidentally, we've got 20 commercial free minutes here, and I'm regretting every last one of them.

Danny, you're on $7.90. Mike, you're on $7.90. Cortis Corporation invented drug-eluding stents, and before Swamp thing, shoots it down and says, who needs the heart and who needs arteries. Van Swagger. Ah. I have an excellent take. Very good call.

Am I swamped? Were you swamping or were you or was too got swamping? No, Hoth was definitely swamping. Why are you swamping? I get that a lot. I get gargoyle a lot. I don't know why.

Who needs hearts and arteries? I mean, he neutered you. That was a perfect call. I mean, I can't argue that call. Irene, you're on 7. We invented the Spanglish language. Oh, Spanglish. That's ours. Spanglish is ours. Yes, that's ours.

Um, sandwiche. Run out there and get me, um, sandwich. When I first came down to University of Miami, I, you know, was hanging out with a couple Cuban girls, and they said, let's go get a sandwich. And I was like, what? A what? A sandwich. And we're saying it seriously. Edison, you're on 790. The ticket, I don't believe your name is Edison. Why? We're talking about inventions. Go ahead, Edison.

Cayaocho and Chunga. Ramon, you're on 790. All right. I'm shining up to my people out. I think a Haitian guy created and designed the Chrysler 300. A car? Again, different between brands and invention. Just a design.

And the Chrysler 300 is a good-looking car, but not really an invention. Someone pointed out, we invented bad radio. Rick, you're on $7.90 the ticket. Hey, you cough at it, but we actually invented the base and mango salad. Yeah, yeah. Mango salad? I'm talking about. Mango salad.

No, I think he's right on that, then. What? I think we did. I read that somewhere. What do you mean? Mango salad? What is that? Who's invented down here?

It's just throwing mangoes on lettuce. Actually, you know, there's that whole argument about the anchor bar in Buffalo. Like, they actually invented buffalo wings. The chicken wing? Like, we haven't invented a real food item like that unless we really did invent the mango salad. No, although the mango salad doesn't have the national cachet of a buffalo wing. Dave, you're on $7.90, the ticket, Dave. Dan, we invented that cajuna.

I don't know that we invented that. The roasted pork, the pork on Noche Juana? I don't know. The mango salad, by the way, invented in Southeast Asia. Raul, you're on 790. Hey, the most innovative and energy-efficient cooling product right now in the market was invented, developed, and is manufactured in North Miami, and the name of the company is Advantic Systems.

They figured out how to decompress and deshumidify air without use. using direct expansion refrigerant. Instead, they use a salt brine, which basically eliminates about 75% of the energy use. And also Citrix, who developed the software for GoToMeeting and Go to My PC is based on, I think it's Cypress Creek and I-95. They've got about four high rises there, and they're a Fortune 100 company. I feel like when the smart callers call the show, it's like a rose growing from a sewer. Like that guy's the smartest guy in Miami. But there have been a handful of callers when they're talking about stuff.

They're clearly smarter, and this is not to derail our mango salad friend. But, I mean, there's some people coming with some information that is legitimate. I mean, that guy obviously flipped to the wrong station. The guy who called you Swamp Thing. Right. He's our caller. He belongs. No, he's smart. You talked about hard?

No, but he belongs. He gets it. Like, that guy's on the wrong. wrong station. He's like, why is schnit not on today? Peter, you're on 790. Yeah, Nio Kavarato was invented in Miami-Dade County. Yeah, that's true. Nionkevarato, that's right. It's a store.

The title is, damn how cheap, or holy bleep, how cheap. Junior, you're on 790. Listen, man, the slang word, Doe, like, hey, Doe, what's on, though? That originated down here. I'm 35 years old. I've been saying it since I was

pin all right that word started here baby you invented it dog is that true i mean that's something that we should probably publicize a little more no i mean everyone uses that i do da wg dog did we invent highline no spaniards i believe back um air conditionings units no air conditioning i mean you would think that we would uh that miami perhaps someone down here It's hot. Yeah, right, because we're the only hot place in the world. That's true. That's true. You're right. We're the only hot place anywhere that would need.

You would agree. If someone asked you, where was the air conditioner invented? Like, one of your choices would be Miami. It's the same reason we invented the mango salad because it's refreshing. But if it was a multiple choice question, you would agree that Miami would certainly be on there, A, B, C, D, or E, right? I would agree that you would fail whatever multiple choice test is being put in front of you. You had no direct advantage when a test was multiple. Multiple choice, did you?

None, dog. Coop, you're on 790. We invented a dunk. Not in the dunk as LeBron James embarrassing people every night. The dunk as in the antique car, D-O-N-K. That phrase was coined in Miami.

Don't. As in the badonka-dunk? No, as in the car. A son of Apollo. Yeah. A dunk, yeah. Okay, but that's, again, that's a brand. Like Seattle invented the hoopty,

we invented the dunk. I think we invented Gatorade. That's Gainesville, isn't it? Yeah, North Florida. We're talking about Miami. How does Gainesville count? I'm reaching, Dan, but it doesn't count? That's like saying we invented Disney World.

I think we invented Gatorade. It might have been invented in Gainesville, but the guy who invented it was from down here. Loophole. Fake Ed Kaplan. You're on 790, the ticket. Fake Ed Kaplan. Being able to talk and watch sports with your favorite shots and lay in your lap was invented at the Cheetah. Call from a landline next time, fake Ed Kaplan.

Frank, you're on 790. Hey, Dan. We invented the roastful mango in Miami. Again, rice and mango. Is that very prevalent down here, the mango? Because I've never had one. We didn't invent anything that uses the mango. How about a hurricane shutter?

We had to invent that. Right. is we're the only place that has hurricane. I think so, yeah. Larry, you're on 790. That was very apropos, too, guys. I have the trifecta. My great-uncle in the 50s invented storm-resistant windows for the hotels,

Superior Window, Miami Lakes, Florida, the Ollie Burger on South Beach that he sold for millions to lungs. And we invented and perfected the undefeated season, 1972, never duplicated. Yeah, there you go. Textor writes in, we invented the venom unit. That's true. The venom unit for serpents. Miami-Dade Fire is the only one in the nation to use that.

That's true. And then somebody else follows with Miami invented the ass clap. It's a holiday season and the 50th anniversary of Miller Light. The holiday is all about spending time with friends and family, want you sit back and toast a few Miller Lights. Make your holiday time, Tis Miller Time. And with the 50th anniversary, of Miller Light, you get to remember and reflect on all the good times that you had with your trusty buddy by your side, Miller Light.

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Don Liebertard. While there's nothing official and conversations are still ongoing. Was that a fake chefter? It was pretty good. It was excellent. I feel like there's legs. I tried at the beginning and then I lost confidence in it. Why?

It was good. Yeah. You got this. There's nothing official. Yeah, it's so good. Conversations are still ongoing. Stugats. It is trending towards Nick Siriani, remaining the head coach of the Eagles.

This is the Dan Lebatar show with the Stoogads. I'd like to play 10 questions with Jim Rome. Is Jim Rome available, Frank? Definitely here. Would you like some musical accompaniment? I would like some. I would like you break me off some instrumental Snoop Dog. That would be phenomenal.

All right. I didn't think of Jim Rome as a snoop dog guy, but Jim... Listen, I take the bow to the... Wow. Jim Rome drops it like it's hot. Are you ready to play ten questions, Jim Rome? Bow, wow, wow, yippy, yo, yippe, a Jim Rome in the house. Question number one, Jim Rome.

Are you evil? I am definitely not full-fledged evil. More like the Anakin Skywalker of Broadcasting. Romican Skywalker. There's potential to be bad or potential to be great. Phenomenal. My verbiage is my lightsaber.

Hey, Levitart, look out. I may cut off your hand with my verbiage. Question number two for a verbose Jim Rome. A word you use too often. It's pretty difficult. How about great? I'm going to go with great.

Great, because I describe myself so often. I am great. How do you feel about Dick Vermeal always crying, Jim Rome? I'm a little bit tired of it. I think the only time you should cry is when you hear a really sweet poem, which I love to hear. Not any of that roses are red, violets are blue. I'm talking about something that doesn't even rhyme that makes you feel warm inside

and keeps you from going to the dark side. Furomicon is back. Question number. Number six for Jim Rome. What is your take on T.O. T.O. Dude should have a permanent T.O. Take some timeout.

I'm going to go O.T. on T.O. Say, dude should not be playing football. Dude needs to get another job. Start rapping. Start doing something else. Football's not for you. Okay. Excellent pause.

Question numbers. That was actually a pause where I couldn't think of something. Not a pause because of, Coolness. Right. Question number. I'm trying to think of the name Ron Artec, but it wasn't coming to me.

Wanted to compare Tio with Ron Artec. Tio, the Amorosa of the NFL. Guess what? You're fired. Question number seven for Romican. Give us a take that sucks.

Levittart is cool. Question number eight. That was simple and you moved on. Saying that Dan Levittart is cool was not a best. Bad take. It's a great take. I was trying to get you. You overthrown me. That's not cool. I want to say thwarted at the same time as overthrown. Who cares if I mash two words together? Do whatever I want. Great. I have Roebuck and Sky Thunder. Question number eight. Hold on a second. Yes. Let me go to the dark side for a second. Dude, I'm going to start the heavy breathing between pauses. Have it taken.

Go suck Your turn Wait a minute That sounded like John Menn Being woken from a deep slumber He presses a button And I do now Question number

Question number eight for Jim Rome John Madden sings Much better than you I'd like to play a little something From John Madden For you And see if you can top this real quick Now I allege

You've already brought Love Boat the equation and I'm sorry I'm boring you hawks scurrying back there he had no idea I was going to ask this ask for john madden singing so you brought love boat to the equation and we had a different stroke song from john madden that you gave us last week can you help me stall here jim rome somebody help me stall no i'm having a lot of fun just listening to you now you see how hard it is man you need to develop a pause with asthmatic symptoms in the middle of it. That John Man sleeping, no.

That's just my pause. Dude, if I was a bear and I had pause, I would pause with my pause. This is almost as great at the time I was in the Vatican. I called my cell phone. I was Roman, Rome and Rome and Rome.

I'm real cute. Phenomenal. We will get to John Madden in a second. Question number eight, what's your opinion of Drew Rosenhaus? Drew. Do me a favor. Try to save the game. I mean, you start on the other side.

Start negotiating for the teams. Then maybe we'll see some of the best players play. Dude, I'm going for meal. Question number nine, who would you rather have negotiating on your behalf if you are T.O.? Ralph. It's Jesse Jackson. Because half the time you have no idea what dude is saying. But you know it's eloquent.

In normal. Jesse Jackson rhymes things. brings of Bermil Do my eyes Wait a minute What was that? That was Romican waking up, John Madden? Question number ten Knocked him out like

Knocked him out like an E-Walk Extra You want to hear John Madden saying We finally got that for you Definitely This is from different strokes Now the world don't move to the feet of just one drug. What might be right for you may not be right for job?

A man is born. He's a man with knees. And along comes to, they got nothing but their genes you take. Different strokes it takes, different strokes it takes, different strokes to move the world. Hold on, everybody's got a different kind of story. Everybody finds a way to shut their head. Don't matter what you got. Not a lot.

They got theirs. You got yours and I got mine. And again, we'll be fine. Takes, dimly strokes, takes, different strokes, makes different strokes the world of the world. Boom. Top that, Rome. I can't. I thought I could.

But did I heard that and had no idea how ridiculous it sounded. And I can't believe you let him get the whole way through. When I say him, I mean me, and you don't get it. Think about it. All right. We're going to take your calls. Now that's it. Ten questions for Jim Rome.

If you want on with Pacino, if you want on with George Bush, John Mann, Jim Rome. We've got a couple of minutes left. We've been hogging him throughout this segment. 1-88-7-9-3-7-6. If you have questions for any of those characters or Frank Caliando, let's go out to Omar on his cell phone. Omar, you're on 790. I would love to hear a carpool between President Bush and Al Pacino. breakfast at McDonald's, that would be great.

Well, you're lucky that because we just did that today and we recorded it. Yes, I'd like a, I like one of those, just get the eggs. Get the deluxe breakfast. Come on, you're tying me out. I want, uh, want those, uh, well those McMuffin things with the egg. It's an Egg McMuffin, Jackass. Think about it. Uh, egg, uh, what's it called?

Egg McMuffin, I said. An egg McMuffin with, uh, with, uh, sausage. Good job. Now on the meat. No, I'm not done yet. Uh, I would also, uh, like an OJ. Dude, guess what? I'm in the car, too.

Nice or a saw reference. Oh. Mike, you know I have one rule to live by, right? Don't place parlays on multiple long shots. Don't say a game is one when it hasn't hitched. triple zero. Mm-hmm. Always drink your Yeagermeister ice cold.

That's the rule. Everything else is merely a suggestion. Everything else? Everything else. Wearing clean underwear every day? Well, that's just a personal decision. Brushing your teeth. Obviously smart, but not a rule.

Never pee-pee on an electric fence. Okay, maybe there are two rules. But the one that is 100% that I insist on completely, Yeagermeister must be drank ice cold. Or don't drink it at all. Damn, that's cold. Exactly. You're finally starting to get it.

Drink responsibly. Yeagermeister liqueur 35% alcohol by volume imported by Mass Yeagermeister U.S. White Plains, New York. Get you and your crew to the big shows with Go Transit. Go connects to all the main concert venues like TD Coliseum in Hamilton and Scotia Bank Arena in Toronto. And Go makes it affordable with special e-ticket fairs.

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You know how these late season games are? We don't know. It's a big game for the Knicks. We have absolutely no idea how Boston will play. I don't know who they'll play, who they won't play. Stugats. Okay. All right.

That's fine. That's an excellent promotion. You know, I love that. That's great. Sol! That's it. That's perfect advertising for the game of the next. National game on TV tonight.

Holy shit, that was a shitty sales job. This is the Dan Levitar show with the Stugats. Let's get to my shameful admission. I can't believe I'm saying this. This makes me really uncomfortable. I mean, I'd like to under, under promise and over-deliver. And I'm telling you that you guys in here in the studio are going to look at me funny. And if we could see Stan right now, if he weren't in Orlando, he's going to look at me funny

because the admission I'm about to make about what happened to me last night. Now, I was proud of myself. You know, one of these things you do, Stugats, is you'll throw in your sports knowledge to prove to people that you have sports knowledge. I was proud of myself earlier in the show as Stan Van Gundy, basketball savant, a guy who knew Kenny Smith remembered a game from 1983 and the players playing in it. He blurted Fred Hoyberg, and I got in there, and I corrected him with a name I've since forgotten. Floyd. Tim Floyd.

It was Floyd. Floyd, Floyd, Ted Floyd. Right, but wait a minute. But wait a minute. The admission I'm about to make right now. I can't believe I'm going to admit this. Oh, just go ahead. I can't believe it.

I'm uncomfortable admitting it. You're in too deep. Go. I know I am. Stan. Yes, sir. Yesterday. I'm not, I can't believe I'm going to admit this.

Yesterday, I'm watching a press conference. and my honest reaction to it I can't believe I'm saying that my honest reaction was wait a minute Bernie Bickerstaff is black I had no I don't know what happened there

how is that possible I assumed he was white because it was Bernie I don't know what I did there look at Mike Ryan's face shock on his face Bernie's only coached in the league for about 35 years Mortifying.

Are you saying? And he's been a head coach in the league. Mortifying. Stan, don't make it worse. No, make it worse, Stan. Make it worse, please. Well, I'll tell you what. Now, Dan, I'll go back to Oscar Robertson on this,

and I don't want to hurt anybody's feelings. But when we won the Eastern Conference in 2008, no, 2009, and we're out for, you know, they do that ceremony at half-court and the whole thing with the trophy. And Oscar was one of the guys. presenting the trophy, and our owner, Rich DeVos, said to his son-in-law, who was our CEO, he said, who's this guy standing next to me? The guy owns a team in the NBA.

He had no idea, like, who is this guy standing next to me? And, you know, they're contemporaries, basically. I mean, Mr. DeVos is even older than Oscar Robertson, so he had to watch him as an adult, and he had no idea who he was. I'm wondering what happened here, Stan, because as you're playing. pointed out he's been in the NBA Bernie Bickerstaff has for 35 years. Dan did that base just on name alone. I'm feeling, but here's the thing, though.

But here's the thing, though. Like, I don't know what happened. And I don't know whether this is a product of age or what. Like, I know the Bickerstaff resume. Like, I know where he coached. I just can't believe. Clearly, Charlotte, what I can't believe is that I didn't know that. Like, I don't know what happened there.

I don't. Stan, have you had any senior moment? Uh, not that bad. Yeah, that's bad. I can't chalk that up to us. Are you trying to chalk up to a senior moment? What I'm saying is, what I don't understand how, the inconsistency here, you would admit, like this doesn't make any sense whatsoever.

The ability to tell Tom Izzo that he was thinking of Tim Floyd when Stan Van Gundy couldn't remember that name, that doesn't make sense paired against what I just volunteered to you, that I didn't know that Bernie Bickerstaff was black. Those two things don't fit together. Now, his real name, he's shortened it. It's not Bernie. It's Bernard Bickerstaff. Would that have helped if it was Bernard Bickerstaff?

You know what I was doing there. You know what I was doing there. Well, how about this? His middle name, his full name, Dan, is Bernard Tyrone Bickerstaff. I'm not even getting into this. I know. I understand. Stan's learning. Stan is learning.

Excellent, Stan. and Stan, because I really don't want to get you in trouble. I would be mortified if you blurted out something. And under the guise of, hey, we're just having wacky fun here. Nobody's listening. And next thing that happens, that's a very wise decision by Stan Van Gutty. Just sort of back away from the microphone. I'm a basketball elitist and I never watched the All-Star game except that one time.

I had to coach it. Oh, that two times. Those two times I had to coach it. Had to coach it. can't put my finger on it, Dan. Two times I was forced at gunpoint to coach because I had the best record in the East. I'm wondering if Stan tried to avoid having the best record in the East. I told Eric this year he should have avoided it.

There were a couple games there. He could have thrown and possibly gotten out of that and then still been the top seat at the All-Star break. I mean, it's really hard for a coach. It really is. I mean, you want to make sure you're fair to everybody with the minutes. You don't do any coaching. It's just, I don't know. It's very hard.

It's a very hard thing to do. I haven't talked to Eric since Sunday. I'd love to see what he thought of it. But it's a hard game to coach, and it's a hard game to enjoy. Dan, think about that, because I'm not certain if I were a coach, I wouldn't throw games to avoid it. You could have five or six days off. They've been to see a movie for the first time in two years,

as opposed to going to coach a bunch of guys who always. or going to listen to you. You know what I really would have enjoyed, and I thought Popovich was going to do this, Stan, and he's exactly the coach who would have done this, and I feel like he's got the players who would have signed off on him doing it. I thought that Popovich was going to put Parker and Duncan out there

for, like, one possession, to just actually put them out there and then pull them right out and then just play all the Thunder players. Like, just as a joke, Duncan didn't play much more than one possession. I looked at the box score. He played, what, six minutes? He should have set up like cots on the bench.

But I'm saying like made a show of what he was doing. Popovich has got that sneaky sense of humor, made a show of what he was doing, one possession and then yank them. Or even just, I don't even know, are you allowed to do this? Insert them in the game and then just immediately call time out and pull them out without them taking a step

on the All-Star basketball court during play. Yeah, there's actually no rules governing like how much you have to play anybody or anything else. I mean, your starters are selected. You have to start them. But other than that, there's no rules to it. You know, what you do is you get an idea, first of all, like I'm sure that what happened with Garnett,

I looked, he only played like eight minutes. I'll bet he told Eric like, hey, you know, I don't want to play a whole lot. And so Eric went ahead and did that. You'll occasionally have players do that. Or some guys will say, look, I know minutes are tough. you know don't worry about me i had grand hill do that you know with me like hey you know don't worry about me um and so that helps you out a little bit other than that you try to balance a minute the game's not bad

it's the practice you know they have this public practice and the NBA's got all this stuff oh stop you stop you don't stop you're bitching no really what they should do and I mean this sincerely I think it would be great there's no coaching going on I really honest I honestly believe what they should do is get some of the great ex-players and let them coach it. I think it would be great for the game. Like that. Let Oscar Robertson and Bill Russell coach a team. You know, let, you know, Jerry West and Magic Johnson coach against each other.

I honestly think it would be part of the show. It would be good for the fans. I think it would be a lot better. And maybe, you know, put an assistant coach from one of the teams there like. they do in the tremendous rookie sophomore rising, you know, halfway decent young player game to help them and, you know, manage the minutes or something. But I think that would be great. I mean, why would that not be a great idea? The head coaches don't want to do it. This suffering. I mean, Jesus had his cross to bear and Stan had to him. Just trying to help

the All-Star game. Look, I've always tried to step forward with ideas. to help the league. I've been forthcoming with those ideas to Commissioner Stern. And if he would just listen, we could overcome a lot of problems. Those sound like ideas that keep you home during the All-Star break. That's all they sound like. Still, I mean, but honestly, wouldn't that be better? Wouldn't it be part of the whole All-Star atmosphere?

No one wants to watch the coaches. I mean, Stan, did you have to come out on stage and everything when they were introduced? Yes. Oh, my God. How uncomfortable is that? Yes, but no, why wouldn't that be? be better. Did you run through smoke and stop?

Why wouldn't that be better if that were Oscar Robertson or Bill Russell or somebody who had accomplished a whole hell of a lot more than I was ever going to accomplish in that league? Did you smile? Like, how did that work? I want to hear the introduction of Stan Van Gundy at both All-Star Game. Look, I don't remember. I'm sure I danced, you know?

I mean, what's like with the Jabberwockies? He was like putting a hand over his heart, making it beat like Shikil O'Neill. All I know is the last time I did it. gotten a conversation with my assistant coach, Brendan Malone, because in Dallas, you know, we played in the football stadium and the thing was huge. You can actually see the game better watching it on the monitor. But we sat in these really comfortable chairs. I mean, literally we were almost falling asleep. And Bill Russell was right next to us. And he ordered one of those footlong hot dogs. And it just looked great. And so my assistant coach, Brendan Malone,

wanted to order a hot dog. And I got in this argument telling you. him he could not order a hot dog on the bench and he was going to do it. I thought he was going to grab, you know, they have the waitress service and order a hot dog sitting on our bench. That was the highlight of my All-Star game in Dallas.