The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz - Best of DLS: It's Beginning To Look A Lot Like Fishmas
Episode Date: December 25, 2025Merry Christmas! What better way to celebrate the holiday than with some of our favorite Christmas-themed moments from over the years? We kick it off with a pair of Back in My Days, and you know these... are from long ago because Greg Cote was still doing them. After that, we've got a plethora of gifts under the tree, including a Roy's Top 10, Dan welcoming LeBron back to Miami, Tom Izzo playing the accordion, and a song honoring the 1-15 Dolphins. So put on your favorite pair of Christmas pajamas and grab a glass of eggnog; it's time to celebrate the holiday the Le Batard Show way. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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Mike, you know I have one rule to live by, right?
Don't place parleyes on multiple long shots.
Don't say a game is one when it hasn't hit triple zero.
Always drink your Yeagermeister ice cold.
That's the rule.
Everything else is merely a suggestion.
Everything else?
Everything else.
Wearing clean underwear every day.
Well, that's just a personal decision.
Brushing your teeth.
Obviously smart, but not a rule.
Never pee pee on an electric fence.
Okay, maybe there are two rules.
But the one that is 100% that I insist on completely,
Yeagermeister must be drank ice cold.
Or don't drink it at all.
Damn, that's cold.
Exactly.
You're finally starting to get it.
Drink responsibly.
Yeagermeister liqueur, 35% alcohol by volume, imported by mass Yeagermeister U.S., White Plains, New York.
This is the Dan Levator show with the Stugats podcast.
Merry Christmas.
Merry Cremmer.
Merry Chrysler.
You haven't seen that video, the viral video, that girl.
in like Merry Christmas in different ways.
It's hilarious.
It sounds like one of those videos where someone has just gotten their wisdom teeth out.
Merry Crabma.
Based off the way that you just were saying all that.
Okay, so this is the first time that we're like in theme a little bit here.
We have actual like Christmas stuff for this Christmas episode.
We have two different Greg Cody Christmas themed back in my days.
Remember when he used to do back in my days?
That's wild.
No, I don't actually.
They're really good.
That's the big thing.
That's my big thing.
takeaway from going back through all this stuff.
Dad's a good writer.
Yeah, he has one planned actually for the new year.
I'll spoiler alert.
Like, actually, I've got one in his craw that he's actually going to write.
He told me he's going to write it, so we'll see.
I'm beyond excited to hear that, actually.
Then we have a Christmas song from him.
Roy's top 10.
We have a Roy's top 12 days of Christmas.
Oh, I love this.
For those of you who are like newer listeners that don't know Roy's top 10,
Enjoy.
Also, quick plug for the Greg Cody show.
Go check out our holiday episode that came out earlier this week.
Stu Gautz makes it appearance.
The Greg Cody Show featuring Greg Cody.
With.
Bubble Watson released a Christmas song.
So that's in here.
Why wouldn't he?
Because why wouldn't he?
It's a rap.
Yeah.
Bubble Watson wrapped on Christmas.
And then these final few are really good things that the fans can get to enjoy here.
I included Dan's Christmas welcome essay to LeBron in 2014 when the Cavs were coming back to face the heat for the first time since LeBron had left.
This is when Dan describes Miami as a mistress to LeBron.
It's classic Dan writing in here.
Actually, I remember being in college and hearing this and being like, this guy's a genius.
I really did.
I really loved it.
Then we've got Tom Izzo playing the accordion.
and you guys singing Christmas carols along with that.
Oh, one of my all-time favorite bits and moments.
It's great.
And then finally, he's like, I'm not singing?
Yeah, it's, dude, try to get him to sing.
It's gold.
I'm listening back to it, it is, it's a lot of fun.
It's a lot of fun.
And, I mean, surprisingly great at the accordion.
And, you know, Dan's like jukebox nature.
Hey, play another one.
And you just, you know, he does.
And finally, there is a Dolphins fan.
who wrote a, like, 12 days of Christmas on the first day of Christmas,
about the Dolphins 1 in 15 season.
It is long.
It is what Dan would now describe as too fat,
and all of it is there.
Yes.
So, enjoy.
Let's get fat.
And now it is time to take a trip down memory lane.
Here's your guide.
Greg Cody, we're back in my day.
Christmas trends.
They're all bad, folks.
We've let this time of year get away from us.
I mean the entire holiday season,
although here I'll focus on Christmas and Santa Claus,
still the Mac Daddy of Winter.
He knows you when you're sleeping.
He also knows who you've been sleeping with, by the way.
Whoa.
Where was I?
Oh, yeah.
Baby.
Baby.
baby. Why Christmas has gradually gotten worse? I won't repeat my rail against artificial trees
except to say if your Christmas tree is not a living thing that you need to water every few days,
guess what? You don't have a Christmas tree. I also won't repeat my rail about how present
giving has devolved into an unimaginative exchange of gift cards. When was the last time you
hand-carved somebody's gift out of a block of wood? Exactly. But I want to concentrate to
today on two new beefs about why Christmas is sledding breakless down a hill headed for
hell. First, outdoor lighting. Greg Cody earns the outside look on his house. He's up on a
ladder, claw, hammer, and his right mitt, pocket full of sharp tacks, inching along the roof
lines, stringing lights. Stringing them old school, just like Norm Rockwell would have painted it.
You know what short cutters are doing now? Sticking a single laser light in the
ground, flipping a switch and watching a shower of thousands of lights bathe their house.
These folks have not earned their outside look, and you know who knows it?
Santa.
You ever stop to consider how your laser light could blind Santa or as reindeer as they flew
overhead?
You didn't, did you?
Because it's all about you, isn't it?
Does not the very phrase, Merry Christmas begin with me?
Even worse than the laser light trend is the sad state of Christmas.
Christmas songs.
Christmas songs used to mean jingle bells and Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer,
or maybe White Christmas by Derbinger or Nat Cole crooning my nuts roasting on an open fire.
Now, the old classics, the traditional songs the carolers would sing in harmony under wintry street lamps.
Wait a minute.
You can barely find those songs.
Wait, wait a minute.
I don't think the lyric is mine nuts.
Is that what I said?
Roasting on an open night.
That's a totally different song.
Yeah, I misheard Nat King Cole's lyric on that.
Mine nuts roasting on an open fire.
Nuts roasting on an open fire.
It seems horrible.
It seems the opposite of Christmas.
Well, you know, but again, it was a classic.
Now, the old classics, the traditional songs, the carolers would sing in harmony under
wintry street lamps, you can barely find those songs played anymore.
They've been elbowed off the air.
by the awful and unwelcome oxymoron of modern Christmas songs by Mariah Carey in One Direction and every other artist trying to glom a fast buck with a bad holiday album.
You come to my house this time of year, you'll see a real Christmas tree.
Underneath it, you'll see gifts utterly unidentifiable because they've been poorly hand-carved from blocks of wood.
And you'll see me splayed on the ground outside, writhing and screaming for help beside a fallen ladder, but unheard over the ear-splitting decibels of
Perry Cobol's little drummer boy.
I'm Greg Cody.
And that's how it does.
Back in my day.
Oh, happy holidays from the Dan Levatar show.
And now it is time to take a trip down memory lane.
Here's your guide, Greg Cody, with Back in My Day.
The 262 is Milwaukee, Dan.
Yeah, not a surprise.
As good as simple as any for what's wrong with us as a nation,
is probably the artificial Christmas tree.
These abominations are shipped and stored in large rectangular boxes,
and inside these tree coffins has contained the death of the American spirit.
Back in my day, we had artificial stuff, but we didn't flaunt it quite as much.
I know that many of you listening may be a part of the fake tree cult.
Please don't take this personally, but you put your friends and relatives in an awkward position
by having people over for the holidays and unabashedly inviting your guests to fawn over your towering non-tree.
Of course, you think it looks great because you paid over 300 bucks for it.
Guests will nod benignly at your gorgeous monstrosity,
all the while privately mourning the laziness and self-delusion embodied in your decision to go fake.
Would you serve a large plastic turkey and pretend eating it?
So why would you present an artificial tree?
It's an insult to Santa Claus and a pox on Jesus Christ.
Don't get me wrong.
I'm not against everything artificial.
I use artificial sweetener in my coffee.
Also, I have no problem with people of need getting an artificial limb.
We almost draw our line, though.
The fake tree crowd are the same corner cutting people who buy machine-carved fake Halloween pumpkins
because they can't be bothered getting a little creative with a knife and an actual pumpkin.
So much is artificial.
now. The guy in the store is wearing
a bizarre toupee and everybody has to
pretend they don't notice. Same with
a woman whose obvious fake breasts look like
giant flotation devices.
Did you know you can now drive a
3D printed car?
This isn't even the sound of my real voice.
It's computer generated.
My war against fake Christmas
trees is deep seated.
Way back in the day, one of my earliest
childhood memories is my folks having a
silver Christmas tree that
had an oscillating color wheel at the
base of it, affecting an insane psychedelic rainbow.
I imagined other people having a nice Norman Rockwell Christmas while I was being mind-blown
by a hallucinogenic dripping tree out of a Salvador dolly painting.
I vowed then to never, ever have an artificial Christmas tree and invite you to make the same
pledge.
Wow.
I'd further suggest setting on fire any artificial tree you come across, but I've learned from
sad experience that most of those damn things are flame retardant, not for safety.
reasons, but because the manufacturers
rightly anticipated my leading
an angry public backlash.
I'm Greg Cody, and
that's how it was back
in my day. Wow.
She saved us, man.
I mean, I've never heard the phrase of
Pox on Jesus Christ. I have
never heard that phrase ever uttered.
Got a patent on it.
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I couldn't be more excited to see this one.
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today. Don Lebertard.
Stugat him 25 and 2
Oh, there's a brand new kid in town
Out of BYU
Stugats
They call him Puka
Pooka Nakuwa
His quarterback is not named Tua
Yeah
And he is Pooka
Puka Naku
This is the Dan Levitar
Show with the Stugats
It's beginning to look a lot like Fishmas.
Everywhere you go.
Take a look at five winds in a row.
Fins are glistening once again with big defense and two of stats all the glow.
Yes, it's beginning to look a lot like Fishmas.
another TD for you
But the prettiest sight to see
Is the merriment that will be
As we party like it's
Nineteen72
A pair of quarterback sacks and a diving pick
The wish of girlfriends and boys
And to a don't god'll just throw it to wattle
We'll all be dancing with joy
Oh, it's beginning
to look a lot like fishmess.
Everywhere you go, we're making angels in the snow.
There's my columns on the great Cody show.
It's a fest of John of nonstop, ho, ho, ho.
So it's beginning to look a lot like fishmas.
But sitting on Santa's lap, I don't need a new set of gloves.
or anything with a bow.
Hey, fat man, just bring me four more wins in a row.
That kind of thing.
Time now for Roy's top ten list.
It's been a while.
It's been a while, yeah.
It's been a while.
Roy's top ten list.
Rusty at this day.
These are Roy's top ten holiday season.
Songs and Stories.
Okay.
Top 10 holiday songs and holiday stories.
You got nothing on your list over there.
I have number four.
Number 10, Roy.
I'm dreaming of a white woman.
If that is number 10, this is going to be a dizzy.
Holy believe how good is this list?
There can't be nine better.
There can't be nine better than that.
He sang it.
He sang it.
And this is the first time you've had commentary.
And well, he sang it.
I think we need to just end right there.
Let's stop right there.
Is it possible?
This is unprecedented in the history of Roy's top ten.
Can I hear number 10 again?
It can't go up.
It can't go up from there.
It cannot possibly go up from there.
That is the best you can do, Roy.
Number nine, Roy.
and around the Christmas tree,
Rollins.
I'll be stuck on 10
for the remainder of the list.
Number eight.
Rudolph, the black nose reindeer.
Oh, I had it.
You had that,
you had that?
I thought I had that number four.
Yeah, you had it.
You had it number four.
I pushed it up a little bit,
but I wanted to...
Do you know how lame number eight is
compared to number 10?
But I had him.
Well, I'm lame.
Number seven.
The grins that stole my tires.
You can get that one right there.
Do I get it?
Just making sure you're in the loop on this.
Number six.
Chocolate frosty, the snowman.
Number five.
Ten needed to be two.
Jinglebone rock rains.
You leave a rock range.
A rock range reference.
Tim rains.
reference.
Why am I writing them down?
I don't know why you're writing them down.
Number four, Roy.
Santa Claus is coming to Overtown.
Okay.
Yeah, that's pretty good right there.
There was one better than ten.
No, I don't know.
It wasn't better than ten.
It was pretty good, though.
He sang number ten.
Number three.
Morris chestnut roasting over an open fire.
Whatever.
An open friar?
Irvin Friar.
Irvin Friar.
I'm sorry.
Okay.
Well, now it's one.
Okay.
Get the marbles out of your mouth.
Number two.
Jingle bells, Bev de Beau.
And Roy's number one, top ten holiday song or story.
Let us know.
Let a J.T. snow.
Roy.
Roy.
I don't want to ever tell Roy how to do this list, ever,
because I think they're really, it's, whenever he does it,
we get this amazing reaction to it.
But do you agree with me on this?
I don't want to ever tell him how to do it.
But 10 should have been two, right?
I don't know.
I'm sure there's a reason that he went there.
They probably wanted him to come out of the box.
That's the most difficult.
That was the degree of difficulty, one.
Give him some confidence going down the list.
I just touched down on my hug grab
I bet you want to know what's in my bag
Is it golf clubs or a bag of toys
It's a bird, it's the plane, it's a bug car
I remember Christmas growing up in Baghdad
Chill in the living room with my dad
Mama in the kitchen got food in the stove
Sister in the living room playing on the floor
I used to hit the golf course, take me a swing.
Got my first club since boy was a team.
Kids in their room, they can't even go to sleep.
Because they know I'm coming through putting gifts or the tree.
No, no splight, no beard, no reindeer.
I might come deliver gifts on a John Dirk.
Katie asked me to bring him a new bar.
I drank him a new ball, but I'm checking my list it's Bubba Claw.
I just touched down on my hub craft.
I bet you want to know what's in my bag.
Is it golf clubs got a bag of toy?
This bird is playing this bunk called.
I got to thank God he's the reason I made it.
I thank him every day for the moves that I make.
Thank you, baby Jesus.
He was born in the main.
Because he knew when I was born I was going to need to save it.
Thank you for my clothes and the shoes on my feet.
Thank you for my kids and the food that they eat.
Thank you for my wife in the house that we sleep.
I wake up every day and I'll put it on repeat.
I just touched down on my hub graph.
I bet you want to know what's in my bag
is in golf clubs right bag of toys
this bird is the bird is to playing this bug call
I just touched down on my hub crab
I bet you want to know what's in my bag
is in golf clubs my bag of toys
this bird is the plane this bug call
Miami was the mistress, and the four-year-year-finging came with sparks and emotion and jewelry.
But then LeBron James went back home to his original love,
and that'll leave even a city of tourists and transport.
plans feeling cheap and rented.
Rationally, this is silly, of course.
Rationally, Miami knows it lost LeBron exactly the same way it got him.
Rationally, he fulfilled the terms of his Miami contract.
But the best parts of sports don't reside in the rational.
There are no good and happy endings in transactions like this.
There are only endings.
And so Miami is allowed to feel conflicted, jilted but grateful, bejeweled, but befuddled,
fulfilled, yet somehow empty.
And, of course, longing, because you could see.
how anyone can confuse four years of crazy, crazy passion with true love.
You can't help but miss something that intense, but there is not a consensus about how to
feel about him now, not on the team and not in the city.
Dwayne Wade still loves LeBron.
Pat Riley does not.
So it'll be interesting to see how Miami fans react to his return.
Will it be appreciative applause or hurt hissing?
Both probably.
And those fans will be taking a cue from the team.
will an organization run by a blindsided Riley even celebrate LeBron's return
given that Riley expected the courtesy of a warning after championships plural
you'll have to tune in to tell the rest of the country will think anything other than
gratitude is very small but the rest of the country is applauding his return to Cleveland
and all those syrupy going home commercials it has spawned a storyline that makes LeBron's
basketball mistress feel kind of sick and kind of used that same rest of the country was
shredding LeBron for four straight years at a time that only Miami had his back as the waves of
hate he brought lapped incessantly upon its shores. There was only one place that embraced him
consistently those last four years, and it isn't the place that burned his jerseys when he left.
There's never been a team in South Florida history that felt quite that us against the world,
not even those renegade football hurricanes, and that created an instant and intense bond
replaced now by nostalgia and longing.
LeBron chose to break that bond
built over four insane years
by going back to that original love.
He got what he wanted in Miami.
You'll forgive his basketball mistress
if she feels a bit used
and reminds him of it when she sees him again.
Those jingle bells remind me that holiday basketball is here.
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Mike, you know I have one rule to live by, right? Don't place parlayes on multiple long shots.
Don't say a game is one when it hasn't hit triple zero.
Always drink your Yeagermeister ice cold. That's the rule. Everything else is merely a suggestion.
Everything else?
Everything else.
Wearing clean underwear every day.
Well, that's just a personal decision.
Brushing your teeth?
Obviously smart, but not a rule.
Never pee-pee on an electric fence.
Okay, maybe there are two rules.
But the one that is 100% that I insist on completely,
Yeagermeister must be drank ice cold.
Or don't drink it at all.
Damn, that's cold.
Exactly.
You're finally starting to get it.
Drink responsibly.
Yagermeister liqueur 35% alcohol by volume,
imported by Mass Yeager Meister U.S. White Plains, New York.
Don Lebatard.
Is there back in my day?
There is, actually.
Are you not going to tell anyone?
Wait a minute.
You guys.
Guys, it's a Tuesday.
Stugats.
Here's your guide.
Greg Cody, with Back in My Day.
I hope I heard.
Okay, here it is.
Sorry.
The Beltery.
We are back.
We're waiting for this one.
This is the Dan Lebatar show with the Stugats.
We're here for one thing, and it's not to hear you talk, okay?
I thought I got my SID going to hold the phone here while I'm trying to get ready.
Judgment free, just do it, Coach.
Judgment free.
Jingle Bells is the beginning of the concert.
Let's go.
All right, you ready?
Yeah, yeah.
Wait a second now
I'm the wrong key
That's all right, judgment free, coach, judgment free.
I ain't singing.
You're the one singing.
We want us to sing?
Over the field we go
Laughing all the way
Oh, jingo bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way
Oh, what fun it is to ride and a one horse is to ride and a one horse is to ride and a one horse
soap and sleigh.
Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle
all the way.
Oh, what fun
it is to ride in a one
horse open sleigh.
Yeah.
I couldn't hear that you guys
sound. Excellent. Yes, we were singing
along and we want more. We want more. Let's go.
Listen and hear you sing, man.
I can't wait for that quit filibustering let's go give me some silent night I'll go up on a
rooftop no no no no no no no Christmas carol's not up in the rooftop not running that scam
that you marry uci ran silent night please give us some silent night wait now do I have oh yeah I got
silent night here I'll try I'm not as good at that so hold on all right that's okay it's okay
that you're not good at it's okay it's holidays yeah
An island, lovely night, all is calm, all is bright,
round the virgin's mother and child,
Horny it's been so tender and mild
Sleep in heavenly peace
Sleep in heavenly peace
Sleep in heaven
Yeah
Legendary coach Tom Inzo of Michigan State
Are you getting confidence?
We're all with you here.
Joy to the world.
Joy to the world.
What do you got, Coach?
You got some joy to the world in you.
You're brutal, man.
I'm going to get you something.
Let's go.
Coach, you're crushing it.
You're crushing it.
You're killing it, coach.
Let's go.
She's going to be calling me.
Tell me how bad I am.
No, you're great on it.
Let's go.
Joy to the world.
All right.
Yeah!
Yeah!
The earth receive her knee.
Every heart repair him room.
And heaven and nature sing.
And heaven and nature sing.
And heaven and nature sing.
shirt.
Yeah!
Yeah!
Legendary, Coach.
Tom Azo.
Let's go.
Let's keep it going.
Deck the halls.
Let's go.
Coach, what do you got?
I didn't already give you deck the halls.
Did you?
No, you didn't do deck the halls.
You did Silent Night, Jingle Bells, and Joy to the World.
You don't want to pick those holes.
Deck those halls.
Yes.
Let's go.
Deck them.
We go.
All right, I'm going to try it.
All right, we'll get up top on a rooftop in a second.
The malls with house of holly.
La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La.
It's the season to be jolly.
La La La La La La La La La La.
Dawn, we now are gay apparel.
La La La La La La La La La La La.
Roll the ancient
Yule Tide Carol
La la la la la la la
La la
Big finish
Big finish coach
Let's go
Send them out wanting more
Let's go up on a rooftop
Let's go coach
Send him out with your big finish
Now
This is the closer
Let's go
Without Maryucci on my shoulder
This is the closer
This is the closer
Very excited
I love this coach
This coach is the best
This is such good recruiting right here.
If you buzz, out jumps good old Santa Claus,
down through the chimney with lots of toys,
all four little good girls and boys.
Oh, ho, ho, who wouldn't go?
Oh, who wouldn't go?
Up on the house, stop, click, click, click.
Down through the chimney with old St. Nick.
Now you know how he got Zach Randolph to go to school there!
That is how he got Traymond Green to go to Michigan State right there, the closers.
You know what? I did. I serenaded his mother. That's your good point.
On the first week of the season, Cam Cameron gave to me a loss to the skins by three.
On the second week of the season, Kim Cameron gave to me
Two Tio touchdowns and the Cowboys kicking our bleep
On the third week of the season, Kim Cameron gave to me
Onside kicks a flailing, Trent Green a flailing, and the loss to the Jets by three.
On the fourth week of the season, Cam Cameron gave to me,
Five Dante scores, four total fans, three passing yards, 23 and outs,
and a loss to a really crappy team.
On the fifth week of the season,
Kemp Cameron gave to me,
Trent Green is spearing, his brains a smearing,
Jason Taylor tearing,
one white D.B.
We might win.
We got them,
10, no, a 58-yard field goal again,
and a loss to another stinky team.
On the six week of the season,
Cameroon gave to me,
Cleo Lemon leading,
Marty Booker, bleeding all the fans of pleading,
Please start John Beck
Tedgin drops
No defensive stops
Someone called the cops
And a loss to another crappy team
On the seventh week of the season
Cam Cameron gave to me
Randy Mosso leaping
Cameron wore out weeping
Why are we so bleeping
Terrible
Six Brady scores
We celebrate like whores
Even though we're down by 44
And we're heading to London
Oh and 7
On the ninth week of the season, Kim Cameron gave to me
Thank God a bye
A break from the crap
We can watch the can't collapse
I'd rather take a nap
We are so gonna go and 16
On the 10th week of the season
Cam Cameron gave to me
Hope that isn't true
We're winning 10 to 2
Time to start playing like poo
J.P. Lossman crushes our dreams
Celebrating way too soon
Our team is full of loons
Joe Rose equals buffoon, and yep, you guessed it, a loss to another crappy team.
On the 11th week of the season, Camp Cameron gave to me 10, Ginnett, a scoring offense, that's a boring.
They look like they're a touring circus act.
Thanks for starting back, he didn't break his neck, a 14-yard loss, and fourth in goal, what the heck,
and a 10th loss before Thanksgiving.
On the 12th week of the season, Cam Cameron gave to me, Pittsburgh turf that's gooey,
Ricky tore his booby, going for it on fourth and long as fooey, please attempt a flapping field goal.
Everybody knows Derek Hagan blows. Big Ben made us look like hodes.
If we don't beat the jets, we are done.
On the 13th week of the season, Cam Cameron gave to me, touchdown dolphins against them,
touchdown dolphins against them, touchdown dolphins against them.
Touchdown Dolphins against them
Touchdown Dolphins against them
Touchdown Dolphins against them
Tack on a feely field goal
And we got killed but the Jets suck too
On the 14th week of the season
Cam Cameron gave to me
Backwards is soaring
Buffalo bills are scoring
Dick Geron is boring
Please bench John Beck
19 fumbles lost
We can't even run a toss
The ball is covered in frost
Dick Joron's boring even when tasered
on the 15th week of the season
Cam Cameron gave to me
Well, it really wasn't Cam, it was more like a gift
from Brian Billick
Sam Congato running Cleo, Lemon Gunning
Lots and lots of punting
fourth quarter comeback choice
Smith leaps them back Billick must be on crack
Bats over Mrs. Cam and Cleo kisses
Who the hell is Dennis Camarillo
The whole team
A leaping, Wayne Heising a weeping
Mandeach Encephalo sounded like they were bleeping
Once again, thank you, Frady Cat, Billick.
Between week 15 and week 16, Heisinga gave to me.
A fatty with fake blonde hair, his body looks like a pair.
He could double as a polar bear.
Leby hate parcels.
The big tune is his name.
He likes to hand out blame.
It's been a decade since he's won a playoff game.
Wayne had better stock his office with the bars.
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