The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz - Best of DLS: The Origin of the Upset Bird

Episode Date: December 23, 2025

We kick off this year's holiday episodes by stepping into the way way back machine for some vintage DLS clips. We're going back to the mid 2000s, to find some of Greg Cote's earliest and best bits including his lack of wrestling knowledge and the origins of the Upset Bird. Come for that, but stay for an interview with George St. Pierre where he describes how quickly he could kill Stugotz, a story of Pat Riley crying, Dan's interaction in a steam room, and Detlef Schremf. Plus, Dan and Stugotz dissect the Crossfit scam. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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See official rules at program website. Coming off a losing fantasy week, that means you're one week closer to losing your league. That's stressful, which can lead to nighttime teeth grinding. Dentech wants to prevent teeth grinding and has raised the fantasy stakes with a once-in-a-lifetime punishment. Keep an eye out for the ultimate fantasy football punishment reveal

at the NFL Pro Bowl or on Dentec.com slash ultimate punishment. If you're still feeling fantasy stress, try a Dentech nighttime dental guard to protect your teeth. Available at all major retailers. Mike, you know I have one rule to live by, right? Don't place parleyes on multiple long shots. Don't say a game is one when it hasn't hit triple zero.

Always drink your Yeagermeister ice cold. That's the rule. Everything else is merely a suggestion. Everything else? Everything else. Wearing clean underwear every day. Well, that's just a personal decision. Brushing your teeth.

Obviously smart, but not a rule. Never pee pee on an electric fence. Okay, maybe there are two rules. But the one that is 100% that I insist on completely, Yeagermeister must be drank ice cold. Or don't drink it at all. Damn, that's cold. Exactly.

You're finally starting to get it. Drink responsibly. Yeagermeister liqueur, 35% alcohol by volume, imported by mass Yeagermeister U.S., White Plains, New York. This is the Dan Levator show with the Stucats podcast. Jeremy, who says we don't do any fresh content during the holidays? This right here, you and I, speaking words. This is as fresh as it gets.

as fresh as it gets particularly because we're going to be airing interviews as far back as 2006 this week yes fresh hey Chris happy holidays happy holidays Jeremy what a time what a time for our audience what a time to just celebrate our show and I know some people get a little up in arms about repurpose content but I'm telling you we have found the good stuff no this is good this is good stuff and and and for that matter we're actually recording this week like this isn't fresh As fresh as it can hear it. This is Zoom, but like we are actually taking the time to do this. But basically what we're going to do over the next four days or so is we went back in like

the way, way back machine, not like in the last couple of years or, you know, since, since COVID. We are going back to 2006, 2009, 2012, like some really good stuff here. I feel like I'm Steve Urkel getting in a time machine. Is that, is that, do you get that reference? I kind of Steve Urkel he would like get into a well I don't think I knew that Steve Virkle yeah I knew Stefan or Kel yeah why did I make it a time machine I don't think it's a time machine he stepped into a machine it's just a transformation you know what we're becoming Stefan that's what we're doing you're becoming Chris Cote yeah as opposed to Stefan or Kel is that

right anyway we're we're stepping into a time machine and we're we're going to start Chris doesn't know I'm about to intro to him what's going to go in each one of these hours. So we'll have a couple of hours a day over the next several days. Just going back to some truly bizarre stuff. If I'm being most honest with you. All right. So the very first thing you're going to hear here, uh, here is Dan telling the story of Pat Riley crying and we're going to learn the origins of the upset bird. Oh, which is pretty cool. I know it exists, but the origins of it i'm excited to hear this it's exciting um well also something that happened this past week but also happened in 2012 is talking about how much your dad doesn't know anything about wrestling so

who says we're we're not doing the same show all over again also uh dan and stugats discuss what a scam crossfit is we have an interview with george st pierre from 2012 i think this is where he tells stu gotz how quickly he could kill him yeah i think i think you're right I think that is right and then an experience that Dan had in the steam room of his building

Oh what an episode Let's get to it And debt left shrimp We were talking earlier in the show About that Alan Houston game There is a great story That Pat Riley volunteered after that game

that had to me some echoing endurance. Pat Riley volunteered after that game. The ball's bouncing on the rim. Bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, goes in, ends Miami season, that he was at his desk in the bowels of the stadium,

weeping. And Alonzo Morning comes in in uniform and points to the locker room where everyone's broken and silent and says to Pat Riley, do your bleepin job. Get up and do your bleepin job. You have a team in the locker room that needs to hear from you, that he was walking in on Pat Riley crying at his desk. I thought it was unusual that Pat Riley would volunteer that story. I thought it was, I mean, it speaks to his admiration for Alonzo morning, but he was broken. Did he volunteer that story around the time where they were retiring Morning's Jersey, or has that been out there for a while? No, no, he told me

that story, you know, a few weeks after that had happened after he had. It's an interesting admission from Riley. It's an interesting story to share, no doubt. I mean, he just said he was at his desk crying and that Alonzo and he and he just sort of felt he had his head down and he sort of felt as you would a giant shadow in his room in his room and and through tears he looks up I just like A I have a hard time imagining Pat Riley that kind of vulnerable but B I'm surprised that bad nobody would know that story unless Alonzo morning or Pat Riley told it and I I still don't know to this day why Pat Riley chose to tell it Wasn't the pain for Riley accentuated because it was the Knicks?

And he was losing to the fans who did the whole Pat the Rat. Well, I'll tell you what accentuated it, I think, even more than that, that he knew then, I've got to blow this up. This doesn't work. I keep getting beaten by this team that's a lower seed. We're maxing out on everything that we have here, getting 60 wins a season. Keep in mind, those morning Hardaway teams, one at a greater rate than that. this one does. This heat team in three years hasn't won at the rate that those Alonzo

Morning Hardaway teams won at that year. And he sort of realized after adding Jamal Mashburn, he's like, this doesn't work. I keep getting beaten by Latrell Spreewell and Alan Houston and Patrick Ewing. So on top of the pain of having your season that way and that way, with a ball bouncing on the rim, on top of that, you come to the realization that your blueprint is flawed and that you have to that you have to blow the thing up when uh when riley was weeping at his desk before zo metaphorically slapped him and said do your job i wonder if at that moment riley was in his mind coining the phrase there's winning and there's misery because it was right around that time when that became his phrase are you joking no that that phrase was a

showtime phrase is that right yeah that phrase you're like 15 years late to that phrase see nobody told me then yeah i was not informed a couple of decades there, Greg. Wasn't informed of that. It was like 85, 4, something like that, where he created that. That phrase actually was coined the first time I heard it. Our thanks to Maurice Claret for joining us earlier. Our thanks to Greg Cody for providing the kind of historical perspective that only he can.

A texture is pelting us with imaginary bird. Imaginary bird. Can you guys please explain to me what you mean by an imaginary bird that Greg Cody consults an imaginary bird to make his picks in the newspaper. Somebody, that does have to be funny to somebody who doesn't know what we're talking about. So go ahead and explain it, Greg, go ahead.

Greg Cody, for those of you don't know, he's over 50 years old, although he's like a woman and he won't reveal his actual age. He is over 50 years old, and for 20 years, he has kind of been the national football writer for the Miami Herald while not wanting to be identified as the national football writer for the Miami Herald. And in that duty, as

the national football writer for the Miami Herald, he has consulted an imaginary bird while making his Friday predictions. And it's just that. It's the upset bird. It's a crow. It has sort of an iridescent sheen. Think in terms of the Raven in Poe's famous poem. And you'll have an idea visually what he looks like. He speaks only in italics, by the way. Yeah, Paul, one of my favorite poets. Do you speak to the bird ever, Greg?

Is there an actual conversation that happens there? There is a consultation going on, yes. You share any of that with us, or...? I cannot. And how does a sentence go from the upset bird? Like, he makes picks. How does that show up in print? Only in italics.

Yeah, but, like, give me an example. If he likes the Bengals and he thinks that Chad Ochosinko is going to have a big game in that playoff game, how would you write it? Well, you understand, I can't speak for the upset bird. And I would forward all of these related questions to his agent, Drew. Rosenhock.

I thought that one was kind of good. I think you wouldn't have gotten the game show sound if you had said Drew Rosenhoff! Which is all Mike Ryan was fishing for there. That's all my crime was fishing for. I am not an impersonator. I don't imitate the bird. Were you holding back any laughter at all there, Dan? Honestly, because I was.

Well, the laughter I'm holding back, though, isn't because it's good. It's because it's bad. But that was the best of his bad jokes, you would agree, right? It wasn't bad. I've also heard it before. About 12 to 13 times. A texter writes in, Hey, I love this story about Pat Riley weeping.

Wambulence! Wambulence! That was a great story. Well told. Even though I might have gotten the year wrong on when that actually happened. Greg Cody, you have 30 seconds. name wrestlers uh

haystack calhoun uh oh god what's that other guy's name the other guy i don't know any wrestlers really you're going to get haystack calhoun and that's all you're going to give me that's all you're giving me in 30 seconds you got 10 seconds all right keep going

Keep going. The giant? Moms Mabley. What? Yes. Time's up. Wasn't there a wrestler name Moms Mabel? Are you talking about Mabel? I don't know who I'm talking.

The big black guy with purple hair? Who's Moms Mabley? That's a name that's familiar to me. What are you talking about? When did you become my grandfather? I just don't know wrestling. I can't believe what just happened here. Let me try another game here.

Ready? Let's see if you can top two. It's a source of pride that I don't know wrestling, by the way. I'm going to give you another 30 seconds. You've got to tell you. Top two here. Are you ready? Name billiards players.

The Black Widow, Minnesota Fats, Paul Newman in the color of money. I get that on a technicality. Right? So I've already won. Three to two. Keep going. You got 15 seconds left. I forfeit the rest of my time because I've already won.

I'm saving my energy. I can't believe what just happened. happened on our air. Moms Mabley is a vaudevillian African-American actress. Wait a minute. A vaudevillian actor. Really, Cody, Cody, Cody, you have somewhere in the recesses of your mind, you are so fossilized and ancient that you just made a vaudevillian reference. You just, that just happened. That just happened. Isn't there a professional wrestler named Mabley or Moms or 30 seconds? Ready? New contest. 30 seconds. Name vaudevillian characters. Go.

Mom's Mabley. That's one. Go. Jimmy Durrante. He's going to name more. Was Jimmy Durrani and Vaughville? Go. Ruth Buzzy. I don't know. Ruth Buzzy? It's a holiday season and the 50th anniversary of Miller Light. The holiday is all about spending time with friends and family,

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and 3.2 carbs per 12 ounces. Marty Supreme, Christmas Day. Marty Supreme, Christmas Day, Marty Supreme, Christmas Day, Marty Supreme, Christmas Day. You know what I'm going to be doing on Christmas Day, and it's going to be watching Marty Supreme. Because I didn't even need to know that critics were calling Marty Supreme a full-throttle masterpiece and the best movie of the year. I already knew that was going to be the case. From A-24 and starring Timothy Shalamey, alongside Powerhouse cast, Gwyneth Paltrow, Odessa Ozion, and Tyler Akoma, Marty Supreme, Christmas Day, only in theaters.

Don Lebertard! I got somebody here making fun of me. How old do you have to be to reference Shecky Green? Man, I went comedically there with the funny name of a comedian. That's on you for not knowing who Shecky Green is. You don't have to know who Shecky Green is. You don't have to know who Shecky Green is, but I... You're your ally.

No, no, yeah, I don't like my allies here. The King of a Borsh Belt. Stugats. I have the soul of a borsh belt comedian. I should be in the Catskills in 1945 opening for Shecky Green. That's why I was destined to be. This is the Dan Lebatar show with a Stugats. I'm watching a CrossFit commercial.

television right now, Stugats? Yeah. And this is becoming hugely popular CrossFit. It is. I'm about to join a program, believe it or not. It seems like a horrible idea. It seems like a really easy way to get injured. This thing is getting popular, more and more popular, and it seems really unhealthy.

The things that they ask people to do, people like you. Like, it's one thing to do them at 24, 25 years old. You are going to, you are almost sure to get into CrossFit. do 18 minutes of insanity, and you are going to be injured inside of 10 days. Are you saying I should abort, Dan? What I'm telling you is that CrossFit seems like it's getting more and more popular, and is anyone checking on injuries because I assure you, at the risk of sounding like your grandfather,

that what those people are doing is not healthy, and if you're any kind of brittle or if you're older, or if you have any kind of age on you, you are going to tear a hamstring, a quad, joints are going to be a problem. What those people are doing doesn't seem any kind of safe. And furthermore, you can become a CrossFit trainer if you pay $1,000 for a weekend. That guy's training you, and he's going to hurt you because he doesn't know what he's doing. But it's so convincing.

Like they're promoting health. Are you saying it's unhealthy? Right. They're putting everyone on there who's not going to get hurt because they've got six-packs and they look great. But the people who go to them and go, again, the trainer for CrossFit in a weekend gets expertise and pays $1,000 for it. Let me explain something to you. CrossFit is running an enormous scam that will injure you. So not shocking that Sugat says, oh, yeah, I think I'm going to do that because he goes with all the fans.

He probably has an outfit already picked down for. Anything that's popular. I have friends that are like workout monsters that started doing that. and they're always complaining about their shoulder being thrown out. I'm doomed. Oh, really? You blew out your shoulder like doing the dumbbells on the tire swing. That's surprising.

So let me see here. So you hurt yourself because you were doing that toes-to-bar thing and they only asked you to do a thousand of them. The trainer who wasn't watching after paying for $1,000 for his certification. Now, my trainer who did pay $1,000 and got his certificate within a weekend, within 48 hours, he wants to videotape my entire experience. Is that something you'd be interested in seeing, Dan? Yes, including the injury.

Because we start next week, and he is going to videotape Session 1. 15 sessions. I've signed up for him. He will videotape all of that. This is going to be great. A, you're not going to make it through 15. And B, you are going to come in limping within four days. Textor writes in, I've hurt myself 10 times in four years doing CrossFit.

But like crack, I can't quit it. So, guys, I guarantee you, like, you're going to break a bone, It's going to break the skin, and you're going to show up to work with a bone protruding out of your skin. And that's only going to be the first 15 minutes. Another text or writes out, hold on. I want to expose this scam. Dan, I'm a massage therapist, and I have a clinic in Weston. I work on at least three people a day from CrossFit injuries.

CrossFit is single-handedly keeping our health industry alive in America. I mean, you people are idiots. All you got to do is watch what these people are doing. It's not normal human behavior. My chiropractor, swear to you, Dan. I mean, it's crazy. Ryan said, you just sent me a text. You start cross-fitting next week.

I'll see you in two weeks. Everybody has that friend that's been a bartender like three times in the service industry. That friend is trying to become a CrossFit trainer. Like, that's his next big get-rich quick scheme. Cross-fit. Never. You're like on a treadmill, but you're also on sand. But we have just tapped into something because the text are just pouring in.

I have my certification from the National Academy of Sports Medicine, the same people who train the heat, and we frown upon CrossFit, is one of the worst things for the unconditioned athlete in the world. Wow. It's so stugats, though, who bought 15 sessions. I purchased 15 sessions. Did you do it because you saw it on TV, and there were a bunch of six-packs jumping on a box?

That's exactly why I did it. Now, I did this, Dan, I purchased 15 sessions. I believe they're 45 minutes apiece. How far into the over-under on how far into the first. first 45 minute session before it canceled well it's really hard I know it's hard and and 45 minutes that maybe they're going to throw in a lot of stretching maybe you have one of the few the world's few responsible crossfit trainers there is a 10 minute stretch beforehand there is right it's 10 minutes and then you get shot out of a cannon and they tell you touch a hundred times your toes to this bar

that you're hanging, bro. And then compete in a bull fight. It's very dangerous with it becoming a fad because a lot of people, like the people that I know do it were like workout guys beforehand. But it becoming a fad, everybody's like, oh, I got to get off the couch and CrossFit. No, you're going to kill yourself. No, he is so right on this, though. This is what it is.

You're going to go for your first session. And the first 10 minutes is going to be stretching. And then it's going to be 100 toes to bar. And then it's going to be a bull fight. And then you're going to be lost at sea. And then it's going to be over. That'll be your first session That's right

That's how it works Session one over You know what else I tend to do with things like this Dan After the first session Like I'll check myself out in the mirror And I'll be like Why aren't I ripped yet?

Like I do that all the time I bought the air roller I have every single ab roller That's ever been put out there in the morning Like I have like seriously If you come up with a clever Jake body by Jake If you do an infomercial I'm there

Yeah like I'm there one that if he just sits on his couch, like it makes abs for him, that it just vibrates his stomach. It just takes your fat and makes it. I do have that one. I do have that one. I do have that one. Let me see here.

You're going to go in there. I do the same thing with the air roller. And then I'll complain about it. Like, I'll do one session on the air roller. Look in the mirror. Wonder why I don't have a six-pack yet. And then I'll call him complaining. I'll bitch.

Please videotape this because it's going to be, the first 10 minutes are going to be Stug God stretching like Jim Carrey and Cable guy. Like he's going to put the mouthpiece in and he's going to do some sprint. and then they're going to ask him to do some Olympic lifts and then no they're Olympic lifts I'm not making that out there Olympic lifts they're going to ask you to do some Olympic lifts and I believe stage three or four of Stugats's CrossFit session will be one rep of quitting

he will do one rep of quitting forever let's just close out with the quitting let's just close out strong let's just skip to the quitting I know you're breathing hard after the Olympic lifts Stugats let's do give me one One rep of quitting forever and we keep your money. Oh, man, I'm winded. Yeah, you finish stretching. When's the quitting?

When do we get to the quitting? Sir, you just completed the stretching. That's all that you've done. Are you maintaining? He'll keep my deposit. I love the text we're getting. I'm a cop and my CrossFit instructor is a guy of arrested. What a scam, Crosfit is.

I got a total scam. It's on all your televisions. Quick break to talk to you about the official ticketing partner of the Dan Levitard show, Game Time. The NFL regular season is already winding down. And this is when the games get really good. And tickets are in high demand. Some of them really difficult to find. So why don't you take the guesswork out of buying NFL tickets with the GameTime app?

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cold. That's the rule. Everything else is merely a suggestion. Everything else? Everything else. Wearing clean underwear every day? Well, that's just a personal decision. Brushing your teeth? Obviously smart, but not a rule. Never pee-pee on an electric fence. Okay, maybe there are two rules. But the

one that is 100% that I insist on completely, Yeagermeister must be drank ice cold. Or don't drink it at all. Damn, that's cold. Exactly. You're finally starting to get it. Drink responsibly. Yagermeister liqueur, 35% alcohol by volume imported by Mass Yeager Meister U.S. White Plains, New York.

Don Lebatard. He, for some reason, would do a Gary Stevens impersonation of the offensive coordinator of the Miami Dolphins and the University of Miami. Go ahead. Do you want to do that for the people? Your Gary Stevens impersonation? You want to give people some of that 30 years in the making? Stugats.

What? Who needs me? Oh, that? What? Give that my whole life. You're going to go to Buffalo and win with Bernie Pommily? Who needs me? This is the Dan Levitar show with the Stucats.

You are widely regarded as one of the best pound-per-pound fighters in the history of this sport. George, is there anyone you look at who's got a skill in your sport anyway? weight class that you say to yourself, I wish I had that skill. That guy has a skill that's better than my skill. There are many guys who have skill better than mine in different departments. But mixed martial art has the beauty of it. You need to be well-rounded. There is a guy and a lot of guys that are better than me, a lot of different things. But I believe in terms of pound-for-pound, the best pound-for-pound, I believe right now it's Frankie Edgar. That's my personal belief. That's why I believe.

Well, wait a minute. It's you, George. It's you or Silva. Everybody thinks that you are Silva. You're doing Edgar, why? You're being humble. You're being modest George St. Pierre again, aren't you? No, no, no. I truly believe he's the best pound for a... He was fighting for in a way class above his and he was world champion.

And even though he lost his two last fight, I believe that judges made a mistake. I believe I gave him these two fights, you know? That's my personal opinion. This Saturday, you can also check out UFC, Macau, China, 9 a.m. Fuel TV, and then November 17th Saturday at St. Pierre Conn, everybody loves fighting this guy, loves watching his fight. He is an artist. He is a tactician. I guess the way that I should have asked the question, George, because I do understand that

some guys are better at certain skills than other guys. I'm just wondering if you could point to one guy, George, that you look at and say, I wish I did X as well as he does. You know, it's a lot of guys, you know, like I look at boxing, the quickness of Floyd Mayweather. I wish I could have the quick hands as quick as Floyd Mayweather, you know. It's a lot of guys that I couldn't take what they do well, and I would like to add it to my fight game. Like a guy came train with me, his name is Brawl U.S. Tima, his jiu-jitsu world champion. I wish I could be as good as him on the floor with submission old, you know, but I'm not. And I can say that about tons of guys.

But, you know, you need to put it all together. But you would feel, right, George, given your multifaceted skill set, you feel if I put you in the octagon with any boxer, any time in history, anyone from the heavyweights Tyson to Floyd Mayweather, you feel like you would beat any one-dimensional fighter, correct? Yeah, of course, in a mixed martial arts fight. You put me in a ring with, for example, Mike Tyson, in a boxing fight. I'm going to have a bad night, you know.

But in a mixed martial art fight, it's a different game, of course, because I'm allowed to kick, punch, knee, elbow, throws on the floor, submission old. This is a different sport, and I'm suited for my sport. And they're suited for their sport. For their sport are more specific to what they do. Our sport is more like general. It's a general fighting. It includes different sports, you know. So, of course, it's like a triathletal.

triathlete, you know? A triathlete, he's good at running, long distance, swimming, long distance, and biking. But if you take only a runner, a guy that does only running, is going to be better than the triathlete and running. The bikers, same thing, and the swimmers, the same thing. But if you put it all together, the triathlete will be, triathlon guy will be the best. Who are your top three pound-for-pound UFC fighters right now? You said Frankie Edgar is number one, who's two and three for you? Frank Edgior, Anderson's voice, very good, too. John Jones right now, Jose Aldo is very good.

It's hard to say, you know. It's very hard to say. But, you know, sooner or later, at one point I remember it was Fidor Maniolenko, and he lost. So every, and he lost. And also, these things can change in a blink of an eye. And there is some weight class that I believe that they are more competitive than others, you know. And this we can argue, you know, all day of that. It's like in boxing.

They used to say, oh, back in a day, we used to have better every weight than we have now. And, you know, it's an argument that everybody can argue about. So it's the same thing in UFC. You know, there's some weight class that have more competition than other than I believe. and you know so it is what it is you know

George how quickly could you kill me if you wanted to I don't know the friend of you do you have a weapon on you're on your so maybe you can't kill me faster you know no no I have no weapon

and you just nobody is faster than a bullet my friend okay but take the gun and the weapon out of it I have no weapon you just decide you don't like me and you want to kill me he's got a pool cue he's got let's give him a pool cue How quickly can you, how quickly can you kill him?

Do you have any, do you have any sharps object, may or you? No, no, just a billiard cue. All he's got is one. I'm sure you have a pen. I'm sure you have a pen. No pen. No pen. A pen.

Okay. Okay, we've got a billiards kill. We've got a pool stick and we've got a pen. How quickly could you kill him? Hard to say. They depend who get the pen first, you know? Maybe he can hurt me, you know? George.

But I believe it could take me less than 30 seconds. Thank you, George. I could have a family in his life. But are you killing me with the pool of the pool to you and my pen? Very methodical. You're asking a lot of questions. I'm interested in here. You know, we talk about it, but you know, for example, a chokehold, you know,

some people, sometimes they get choked and they pass out. I believe it takes 30 seconds before it starts the brain. You have to keep the choke after the person passed out, like, 30 seconds before it starts to have, like, brain, like, damage. Okay, so a little more than 30 seconds. Wow. Yeah. Okay. Because you go for the choke.

Right. Okay. It takes more time. Maybe that choke does, right? It's hard to say. You know, it will be, it's not like in a movie, movie. You know, you see, the guy, he gives a punishment. It's hard to kill someone.

It's much harder than people. Dad, I'm confused, though. I mean, this guy can choke me out unless the 30 seconds. He's concerned about a bit. He is a pen. George Sapier, again. Condon. To not you out, it's one thing, but to put you technically dead like dead,

this is another thing, you know? Just take more fiber. Last thing before we let you go, when George St. Pierre decides to really eat poorly, and I don't believe that you've had a bad calorie in the last 10 years, you probably haven't had a carbohydrate in about a decade. But when you decide that you're... That's not true. I just ate a chocolate cake in my last meal.

It was actually pretty good, you know? You're a jerk. I'm not kidding you I don't watch what I eat I try to eat as healthy but I don't have I'm not one of these guys that watch what I eat

I'm lucky I don't get fat I can Even when I go in vacation And I drink and I get completely drunk I never get fat You know So I'm lucky My family is like that

My cousins like that My sister's like that My mom dad's like that So I don't need really much To watch what I eat I think what Dan's upset about Is that you ruined his sight I mean, I just hate this about this guy, as if he's not better than me at everything.

I'm sorry, I'm sorry, but there's a truth. It's like that. My family, let me tell you something. Nobody does sport in my family. They all smoke cigarettes. And my sister, my both sister, they have two babies, and they have abs. You can see the abs and they contract, you know? Oh, come on.

They're like that. How fast could your... They don't do sport, you know? How fast could your sister kill two guts? Well, they did this. I don't know. I don't know. You asked me, you ask me

it will take me to kill you, listen, I don't know how long it will take me to kill you, probably, but to put you out, out of order that, like, put you unconscious to take me maybe like 10 seconds, maybe I can do five 10 seconds, but killing technically dead is hard to kill someone.

Maybe it will take more you guys. I think he's so meticulous about how he would kill you and how long it would take. And he keeps, he loves to point out. I've been doing, I've been doing the promotion of this fight, you know, for a week. This is a crazy interview I have in there. Don Lebatard.

Oh, holly is Captain Sloppy. Stugats. Is this Chum Bucket? This is the Dan Lebatar show with the Stugats. I was in the steam room with a German or an Italian man. I did not recognize the accent who, now keep in mind, I want, you know how these steam rooms work. Usually there are, you know, it's double-decker seats. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, and there's steam.

They're steam, correct. And I'm sitting there, I'm sitting there with my elbows on my knees, okay? Yep. And I'm sitting uncomfortably close to the front door, but it's a pretty small steam room. And this guy comes storming in there, and he's just way too comfortable with his nudity. And my head's in the wrong place. And so I think there should be some sort of steam room etiquette, right? Well, I feel like there is, but go ahead.

Move on with the story. Well, he starts, he's nude, totally nude. And I know this because he's searching. for something around me like something he thinks he's left in the steam room keys something right perhaps the key that goes on that little like rubber band thing that you put

around your wrist and somehow you misplaced it but what should be the etiquette there shouldn't he asked me I mean maybe he was asking me I didn't understand the language he was speaking but shouldn't he asked me to move or something instead of rummaging around near me and sort of searching you know what I mean like this is a very confined space and he was totally nude.

Like, he wasn't wearing a towel around his waist, nothing. And he's just, and I'm describing it as rummaging. Because he thinks it's either, that it's either behind me or around me. Well, where's he sitting in relation to you? He's not sitting. He's not sitting. He's standing. He's come in and he's standing and he's sort of facing me.

And I'm, but all I'm saying, like, I didn't understand his language and he didn't understand mine because my language was, oh, oh, oh, hey, whoa. My language was just, yeah, whoa. I mean, this guy must be thinking, does this guy say anything other than, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. But shouldn't that be universal in the steam room? Shouldn't everyone be fluent in, hey, whoa, whoa, whoa, hey. How old was this, gentleman?

I mean, come on now. It's not like a tree where you're testing rings around the waist to find out the age of a person. I don't know how old he was. I never saw much of his face. Are you telling me there was no, at no point, he said, hey, I think I lost something. Is it around you? Can you help me look for this particular thing? Well, it became evident soon after my, oh, whoa, hey.

That he was looking for something. Had to have been an older gentleman because they tend to really rock the nude look in the steam room. Like at a certain point, you just don't care anymore. Has Dong looked about 50? Oh, so it took care of it. Let me cross that question off. I was going to ask if you took a peek. I think when you're going to the steam bath, Dan, the etiquette is,

you actually, to be honest with you, you're in a steam bath, you should be naked. Like, let's start right there. Oh, as soon as that guy. I am that guy. I wasn't naked. I was wearing shorts. I was not naked. Shorts.

Yes. You see, I would say that everyone, at least you go with the towel with nothing underneath. Yeah, but I didn't, I just walked in. I mean, it's in my building. I was, yeah. See, I'm thinking that everyone else in there is thinking, You're the strange guy. If you were to steamback with shorts.

If you make me think about it now, I think I might have been in there with socks and shoes, too. Get out of here. So, you think I should have. I didn't have flip-flops is part of the problem. And I didn't want to walk around on those floors. On those floors, I didn't want to walk around. You didn't walk into a steam room with sneakers on. I did, yes.

There are places in Europe, well, they'll arrest you for that. Yeah, sneakers and socks and shorts. And then this guy comes in. Sneakers, socks, and shorts. That's correct. Well, I did feel overdressed, admittedly. Wait, hold on. Did you bring a cup of coffee? Admittedly, I felt overdressed.

You're kidding, right? You wore sneakers? No, I'm not kidding. I'm not kidding. You wore sneakers because people like you wore sneakers in there and you didn't want to walk around barefoot. No, there was, yeah, because people walk around their barefoot, not because this German guy or Italian, even though those accents are nothing alike. I don't know how you got those confused. They're very different. I don't think the German guy, now that you're giving us more details, was looking around for anything that he lost. I think he was just trying to get a closer look at the tournament. Is this man wearing sneakers?

These new balances? I wonder if those guys are doing like a show right now in Germany or Italy. You're on a hidden camera. Right. No, I know. I'm not a TV show that he's doing a sports radio show in Germany or Italy. He's talking about sneakers in the steam bath. I don't know what that accent was.

Can you do a German accent? He was wearing sneakers. vice. Yes, that's much better. So this guy, this guy is telling his version of the story. He's telling his version of the story. I lost my keys and I had to creep around this guy who was wearing shorts and sneakers and socks in the steam room. Those stocks. Those socks got moist.

So did he find what he was looking for? It wasn't in there evidently. But I'm sure you found what you were looking for. That's how the story ends, my friend. And I found it forever. Now, by what I'm guessing, I may be wrong here. I'm doing this off the top of my head, is the second best basketball player in the history of that country. He now coaches for the Sonics. Detle of Shremf, are you, it's you and Dirk Novitsky. That's it, right?

Pretty much, yeah, assume. That's what you can call it. Okay, so Detle of Shremf, the second best basketball in the history of an entire country. It's amazing. Stu Gads. He joins us now on 790, the ticket. filled with rage right now because he's saying to himself, who the hell says

Dirk Novitsky was better than I was? I was really good. So we want to get to the bottom of this, Dett Leff, real quick. You hear that Dirk Novitsky loves to sing David Hasselhoff to himself at the free throw line, and you say to yourself,

I am ashamed of him on behalf of my countrymen, don't you? Not really. It's not the music that matters, but the process of it. I don't understand. Well, he does something to take his mind off what's actually happening on the game. That's what a lot of guys should do that struggle at the free throw line, and that's not focused on making or missing a free throw,

but basically just going through the motion and keeping your mind somewhere else. And he does a good job at that as good as anybody else in the league. Do you like David Hasselhoff? Frankly, I could not tell you, you know, if I heard him, if it was him. I don't think I've ever heard his music, so. He's pretty greasy and creepy, don't you think? Hold on a second. We're going to play some of it for you and see if you think it's okay on behalf of hip-hop

and a hip-hop league. If you think it's okay to be singing this to yourself, I can't stop this feeling, Detliff. It's bigger with the younger guys in Germany. Detliff a little bit older. Maybe he's not down with David Hasseloff. I've never heard this before, but it would definitely keep your mind of, you know, missing a free throw because you probably have to last.

Just laugh at yourself and are thinking of that. Those damn German kids. What are they doing in that country, shaming it with this crappy, crappy music? Hey, selling some records for him right now. Well, that's true, and he's an international superstar, right? He's huge in Germany.

If you and David Hasselhoff walked into the same bar in Germany, Detleft, are you getting any of the women? Probably not, no. Because he's hugely famous there, correct? I don't know. I don't go back. I mean, I go home every summer, but I don't spend much time in the bars to listening or seeing David Hasselhoff. Who would you say is the most popular person in Germany? The most popular person? Well, probably Andrea right now, the chancellor. The chancellor? Okay, sure. So if he walked into a bar with David Hasselhoff?

It's a she. Oh, she. I'm sorry. I didn't hear what you said. The chancellor. Okay. If she was, walked into a bar with David Hasselhoff, then we'd know that David Hasselhoff was dating the chancellor. If you say so. All right. Detleaf Shremt joins us on 790 the ticket. What else do Germans like that Americans don't understand?

Soccer. Yeah, that's true. Anything else? I think they understand beer, so I don't think that's an issue. Right, no, we've got that in common. It's what brings our countries together. we'd never let a woman run our country

no you have not but hey don't you worry sooner or later Germany's just a few centuries ahead in that regard yes in that regard it is all right debt left we salute you anything any final

Hasselhoff thoughts that you have no no hassleoff I thought we were talking basketball but no hassle hop Who's going to win the series debt left Who do you got? Dallas or Miami? Oh, it's pretty tough to go against Shaq and Wade, but I like to see Dirk have a good series. That would make it very interesting.

So I'm going to go with Miami and six. Break it down as a coach for us, if you would, Detleft. Why Miami and Six? Because they have Shaq and Wade? Well, you know, when Shaq is playing the way he has been the last couple series, he's very hard to contain. and, you know, getting into the lane, getting guys into foul trouble and with weight penetrating, and now everybody else playing off them, it's going to be pretty tough.

But on the other hand, they're going to have to contain Dirk and they're picking rolls, and that's going to be tough on Miami also. You played with Gary Payton. We kind of have some fun with him and his trash talking. You have any funny stories from your playing days with Gary Payton? Oh, there are lots of funny stories, but that's in the confines of the team. Okay. I'm not going to share those, huh?

He's the best trash talker you've ever heard in the sport, is he not? Well, you know, they're different trash talkers. They're pretty funny guys and guys that are pretty clean and make good comments, and then there are guys that talk about your mama and everything else, and Gary's probably one that falls into the latter category. The yo mama, can you give us some German trash talk before you leave? No, you'd have to ask Hasselhoff for that one. Okay. We were trying to contact him.

Thank you, Detloff. We appreciate it. All right. Take care. Thank you.