The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz - Hour 1: An Earie Feeling

Episode Date: January 24, 2024

Analytics! Who needs 'em?! Dan also describes a new pet peeve involving Uber drivers. Then, Stavros Halkias proves Dan might be capable of interviewing a comedian somewhat well as he stops by to discuss his Ravens superfandom, why Americans should be anti-Kansas City Chiefs and Taylor Swift, how Colin Cowherd joined the dog whistle Mount Rushmore, and what the name of his original podcast was. Plus, we use Mike Ryan's Earify to take a look through Greg Cote and Papi's ears, and it's...horrible. Just horrible. Like, truly horrible. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

You're listening to Giraffe Kings Network. This is the Don Lebatore Show with the Stugots Podcast. Greg Cody is famously anti-information, anti-analytics. He and Stugots don't want any extra data. They are tired of sports being soaked in all sorts of math, advanced metrics. Just play the game. Greg Cody is anti-new information, new measurements. Correct?

Greg Cody Correct to a point. An example I would use is the idea that this runner is going 17.2 miles an hour in the middle of a touchdown run. I don't need to know that. You don't care that the Dolphins had the three fastest speeds in the open field measured this year. That's not interesting to you in any way. My eye test tells me that the Dolphins are a really fast team.

Every NFL player looks fast to you. No, that's not true. When I see Tyree kill run I know that that's an extremely fast player CD lamb is he a fastest he known for his speed or is he more just like a Skilled route runner. I know he's not as fast as as Tyree kill that's what I know about DK Metcalf He's pretty good. Yeah, he's not but he is fast as Tyree kill. No, I don't think he is because you are chase Is he a speed guy or a route guy?

I don't care. Yeah, but then that's over. We can these things are all you can I can give you all this information now Okay, if I'm a general manager scouting players I have to know that if I'm a fan or I'm writing about a game I don't need to know that Tyree kill was running 19.1 miles an hour. I just don't need to know that. Okay. Anyway, so yesterday it was a fight between Mike Wilbon and Greg Olson. Greg Olson, I think, is new media. Greg Olson has become a star very quickly, and I think at least in part because people

see that he does what Collinsworth was the pioneer at, right? Collinsworth bought into pro football focus. Collinsworth, before Roma, before any of them, Collinsworth was the pioneer at, right? Collinsworth bought into pro football focus, Collinsworth before Roma, before any of them. Collinsworth was talking about football smarter on television than most. Now people have turned on Collinsworth. They don't like him, he's polarizing. He's somebody they don't like his attitude, his condescension, whatever it is.

Greg Olson is very popular. And he reprimanded Wilbonn for sounding really old. Yeah which I actually thought was funny because you categorized it as a fight. It wasn't a back-and-forth or anything like that. It was this Michael Will Bonn rant on PTI. The two-point conversion attempt that left him eight down. Don't start me with the two-point converges and the analytics say go for it. Do the analytics say go for it? No matter who's going for it. So if you and I were on the field, the analytics say go for it.

It's the stupidest, laziest, lamest thing I've ever heard for reasoning in competition. And I hate when announcers just buy it without questioning it. The analytics say go for it. So then Greg Olson retweeted that viral clip and he gave a pretty keen observation on why it's important to educate the viewers on this. What I found funny about all of that was Greg Olson was on the call of that game for this play in question. It is a lot of information to try to convey in 35 seconds. And that's what the disconnect is. There is a logical explanation.

We did it yesterday and we did our best to maybe make it fit inside of 40 seconds. But explaining to the audience that an extra point, the traditional way with a kick, is in 100% proposition and two point conversions are over 50%. And if you're chasing, like you see how that gets bogged down and boring? Uh, yes. And one of the reasons that I believe people are conflicted about this is that there are two types of people in the world on how they enjoy sports. Some people just want to enjoy it.

Other people want to learn more about, get more information, be more informed about, more educated about their, what they're watching. We are trying to make it easy for them, those, and I say we in terms of people in the media that are trying to simplify the messaging, but then you don't trust it because there is a button that comes up on the bottom of the screen that says, analytics say go, and without context,

you're to believe that just some amorphous thing is telling you you should go. But to simplify it, best I can is, and these coaches are now doing it, after John Gruden says, I go with my gut on fourth and short, and they drowned him in paperwork on why it was better to go for it more often on fourth and short.

Now everyone in the league does it. You could have 10 years ago exploited this mathematical inefficiency by winning in the margins, by being ahead of everybody, but everybody was doing it the Gruden way. McCarthy was always punting on fourth and short. Whatever. All of this is to say, sometimes all you want with your analytics is entertainment, and for that we have Patrick Waugh.

We don't like analytics when you're in the bottom of the league and we like it when we're in the top of the league. So so that's pretty simple. Analytics. I believe we can all agree with that. Let's hear it again. We don't like analytics when you're in the bottom of the league and we like it when we're in the top of the league. And so that's pretty simple. I'll one up him.

We don't like anal tics. I actually didn't really know how advanced metrics worked in that sport all that well. That was one of those sports that I just kind of watched and I thought I could tell who's good. And then I had someone in the analytics community that works with hockey explained to me all the diamonds that they can find based off of this. For example, Sam Reinhardt having a career year. We know that he came into the league as a reputed goal scorer.

But what makes Sam Reinhardt this year a heart finalist? He's playing on an exceptional line. Barkov is a perfect line made for him, but Sam Reinhardt also as a player does not make mistakes. And they value that almost as much as the goals. You know that if the puck meets his stick, he is not going to turn it over. He's going to dump it in maybe,

but it won't be going to the other team's Possession and he won't have a chance going the other way when Sam Reinhardt is on the ice Greg Cody when these sports do more and more to make their draft coverage three days four days Everyone follows the lead of football because people are starving for give me more information Don't you want this information to be? because people are starving for give me more information. Don't you want this information to be max research, that the people who are analyzing it aren't just hot take artists who are doing

what Will Bonn is doing, which is, hey, I know what I know, I know sports, I don't need any more information. Don't give me more data of how people are winning by exploiting value or how it is that they do measurements better than other people do measurements. Just a gas bag about whether you think Caleb Williams is better than Drake May, but don't put anything behind it when all of the studying of this is subjective. I don't mind five dollars. Now you pulled back, we didn't hear it i don't mind greg olson

telling me that the analytics say you go for it on fourth and one from the opponents forty eight to mike will bonds point and this is a shock i'm gonna stick up for will bond the way to mike will bonds point that doesn't mean every team in that situation needs to go to it what if your team what if your team happens to have a terrible track record of fourth, of third and two? Yes, but Greg, we're just playing probabilities. That's accounted for in the analytics that the team's run.

It's not like a one-size-fits-all thing. Right. People are aware of that. But let's say the analytics say that the probability is 51%. Are you beholden to that 1% action? It's how I would do it. I'd want every 1% advantage that I could get, and I understand if people would want to go with their guts,

but I would just follow the math. I'm going to stick up for Greg Cody, who's sticking up for Mike Wilbott, even though I'm a firm believer and have been for several years on analytics, there is something too, taking the temperature of a game, seeing the momentum of a game, seeing what a team is excelling at. And I know that the analytics take that into account, but also momentum swings is this big intangible that can't really be taken account for. And that's one of those things that your head coach in any sport, you give them all the data, they take the feel in the gut and they come out with the best

decision and that's why you hire these people that's why you interview them multiple times exactly and and what if for example the analytics say go for it on fourth and two but you don't have a great running back that you trust and your quarterback hasn't been particularly accurate that day and you just have a vibe that this might not be smart and if we don't get it it could really blow up on us. I think there's too much gut feeling that goes into any decision like that to be a slave to analytics. But we don't like analytics when you're in the bottom of the league and we like it when we're in the top of the league.

Exactly. Well said, Patrick. I had a frustration here. I don't know, Greg Cody was talking about the wide range of emotions that he's feeling where he gets angry about things that he used to or he gets weepier about things than he used to. I have now found a pet peeve that makes me consistently extremely angry in a way that I notice each time, wow, I shouldn't get this elevated by innovation. And it is Uber drivers using the center of my street as a parking lot.

And I now have to wait for somebody to, I too have to wait for somebody to come down from whatever fourth floor that they're on because someone has decided that they're not going to have the respect that taxi services used to have back in my day and you pulled to the side of the road instead of all over Miami Beach stopping right in the center of the road. I understand why you're lashing out at Uber drivers, but really the issue here is bad

infrastructure and people that are being rude because they're waiting for the Uber driver to arrive before they make their way down. And as we distribute guilt here, the Uber driver's doing whatever they can do because then they have to loop all the way back around because Miami Beach doesn't have a waiting lane for them. Your business flaw is not my problem if I'm not partaking in your business.

The middle of the street is not a parking lot. Well, your problem is that you're living in a place with bad infrastructure. And Miami drivers. Like you're dealing with Miami drivers to begin with, who are trying to avoid Miami-based Uber drivers, who are, I mean, come on, we have the most selfish drivers in America down here.

You think it's worse here than it is in New York? Because I think it's all over, I think it's all over the globe. I don't think it's just here. In New York you have the option to use other methods of transportation. Here everyone is driving for the most part. So you guys are of the feeling that this is worse here than it is in other places. I think it's why it's making you so upset because you are right to feel an irrationally

angry about how bad it is down here. I literally almost hit someone on my way in this morning because they stopped in the middle of a road waiting for an Uber. The only reason I bring it up is because it happens to me nine times a day. Like it's not, I'm looking around, we're already wildly overcrowded in Miami.

This is not happening once or twice. The reason I'm getting angry, I'm like, when did this become allowed that everyone's okay with the idea that this should be ticketed at any point in my life by a police officer? They gotta close Ocean Drive and make it pedestrian traffic again. It is such an antiquated street for this. It's not Ocean Drive that I'm talking about. I'm talking about all over Miami. I'm not talking about just Miami Beach. This is happening to me anywhere I drive in Miami. Like, I understand what you guys are saying

about my infrastructure. I'm telling you, it happens to me nine times a day. I mean, Brickle is a series of one-way roads. I gotta go three miles out of my way though. With a random drawbridge in the middle, that sometimes is up. Oh, the worst. I grant that your anger is justified. You is a new and unimproved Dan Lebatard show with the Stugatz.

Gampalom by DraftKings. Dan Lebatard. Well, Charlie sent Charlie had this Charlie as far as I know. So just Charlie's title in my phone. Are you going to say anything? Stugatz. How familiar were you at the time with Chewbacca? Like how, your upbringing had how much Chewbacca in it? This is the Don Lebatar Show with the Stugats. Because I'm known nationally and internationally for interviewing the comedians better than

anyone in the media space. Stavros Halkeas is with us and he's a comedian podcaster. He's the body positivity king. New Netflix special Fat Rascal is out now. He's got live shows coming up in Dallas and Michigan and he's got his own podcast called Stavies World. And he's also, I believe, the most famous Ravens fan there is.

Do you remember the name of his original podcast? No. Oh. Interesting. Anyone, anyone in the room? No, me. I'm the only one. Thank you. I mean, I appreciate your help. Look it up. Getting us started. I don't make them awkward enough myself with the comedians. You've got to help me here. Also, Michael Phelps would like, Jessica. You are the most famous Ravens fan there is right now, correct? I don't know that I'm the most famous, but I think I'm the one who connects with the fan base the most because I because ultimately it's like I am barely a celebrity. And I think that's Baltimore connects to that, you know, we don't. Yeah, we have Michael Phelps, who's the man. You know what I mean? We have, we have a lot of we you know mellow was at the game last time we have a lot of obviously fit you know x ravens but

we're sitting with a chip on our shoulder i think if your favorite their fan is an international pop star billionaire i think baltimore would like to be represented by a fat balding man who is barely a celebrity well i think that's the boat that's kind of how do you feel about Taylor Swift in Kansas city? Like how do you feel about that entire phenomenon

because it runs against everything you are, doesn't it? Out. 100%. I think, I mean, this is the thing about this matchup. Everyone in America should be rooting for the Ravens. It's not even close because what, if you have, you know how much, do you know how much shareholder value we will destroy if we beat the chief? Do you know how

much money the NFL will lose? How much money Taylor Swift will lose? If you don't like capitalism, if you don't like America's imperialist policies, okay, there's nothing more all American than a country pop star and a white boy from Ohio that wanted to be black his whole life, forming a union and becoming, you know, a superstar couple that gets to be at the Super Bowl. There's nothing more all-American than that. And if you don't like the way this country's going right now, you should be rooting for Baltimore to score a symbolic victory as a forgotten inner city that industry abandoned. That's all I'm saying.

I'm sold. Thank you. I mean, do the chiefs offend you then? Do that does what's happening? Like what level of rabbit are you that you're playing this team for the rights to the Super Bowl? It's awesome. It's awesome.

Not only that, because you know, I obviously would love to, like I said, destroy value for the NFL. That would be awesome. It's also like this, nobody wants another dynasty. We don't want like, you want another Patriots? You want Kermit, you want Kermit the Frog, Tom Brady to win five Super Bowls? No, it's gotta be the Ravens.

And we've played spoiler in the past. That's the nice thing about the Ravens. We've done this to them in the past. We did this to the last dynasty. We would always come in and shit up for the when when the Patriots thought they had it. We would always win a couple

you know as underdogs we beat them in Foxborough a couple times. And I think this is kind of our destiny. We have the coolest player bar none. Lamar rules. He showed everybody what I mean he's been talked. He's got all this shit talked about him his whole career. And look, what I mean he's been talked. He's got all this

shit talked about him his whole career. And look, I know Patrick Mahomes is great. He's the best. He's the most accomplished quarterback in the NFL right now. But he was kind of he went into a ready made situation. He's you know what I mean he had a great coach they gave him weapons from the beginning. Lamar had to kind of earn it nobody respected him from the beginning. And he's just proven this year year he's as good as anybody. He's the most, you know, entertaining quarterback to watch. And I'm just, I really, the, the narrative of Lamar proving all his haters wrong and then destroying the dynasty, the current dynasty enough in the NFL would just be so beautiful. It be a a rare win the balken will really needs

you're mentioning the shit talking about the marjax and here's collin cowherd talking about the marjax and at the beginning of his career the marjax and the project he's not sam darnold he's not josh rose and you watch them but he's not even close more bad than good he's not close to rg three at this point he's not even close. That was way more bad than good. He's not close to RG3 at this point. He's not.

Forget Flacco. RG3 is not as good as Flacco. Lamar's not even close to RG3 and it won't matter. It never mattered with Tebow. Lamar Jackson with the best offensive coach arguably in college football as a three-year starter completed less than 60% of his throws last year. That is a three-year starter with Bobby Petrino. In five of his games last year as a three-year starter with Bobby Petrino, an NFL coach coaching in college.

Lamar Ball is what we may be calling him by November. Of course Lamar's not close. I've never thought he was close. That's why I keep calling him a project I never call him a prospect Sam. Donald's a prospect That was actually That's awesome to be that coated without ever using the word fun Respecting him to figuring that out. I've never heard project. Yeah, like really highlighted that way to be racist. Salute the coward. But that's actually a really nice, that put him on the dog

whistle, Mount Rushmore for that one. I've never heard projects that are project. It's a hard J. You've heard it for a long time though. It must be so frustrating to you as a Ravens fan to think that you drafted a wide receiver who's the MVP of the league at quarterback. It's so sick. He's literally he's two time MVP and he showed it against the Texas that second half was incredible and I'm just ready for I want I want to see him. I'm happy it's the chiefs actually I'm happy for all the you know, like I said, it would

be great to dash the corporate overlords dreams but it's more than the narrative for the more it's the big one you want to be the best guy to get to your first super bowl so i'm pumped for it you must have a way for you must have been torn though right seeing a shirtless fat drunk guy uh... uh... you know not taylor swift out of the way but also jason kelsey is giving off uh off every man and he's not more every man than you are. Like he's just not. No, no, that's the other thing. Look, this actually hurts me because salute to Jason Kelsey. He's out there

pushing the plus size agenda, getting into, we were just in the conversation for people sexiest. He was never gonna win. He was like, you know, he was like a, he was likeiest. He was never going to win. He was like, you know, he was like, it was like Bernie, he's just trying to move the party fatter, you know what I mean? And I respect that for him. He looks awesome. But at the end of the day, he's a millionaire. He's in great shape. He's a hall of famer. That's not a real American fat guy. That's not true. We're so fat in this country. He's base. He's not even fat if we're really statistically talking. You know what I mean? He's pretty he's he's petite compared to most people that are going to be in that stadium in Baltimore. And I that's that's another thing that bugs me when it comes to the Kelsies. A mean kind of alluded to it in the beginning. These guys now they're podcasters to they got to take

everything from us. Podcasting is the is you know what I mean? That's for poor, ugly people with a with a road microphone. Damn right. They can't come out here with their millions. It just pisses me off. I am from the I'm from the podcast sewers. Like you said, Jessica, my first podcast was literally called come town. I crawled out of the gutter to get here today. And the Kelsey's getting to just astroturf themselves with the number one podcast. And we have to sit here and take it

and pretend it's heartwarming when they win. No, they've had nothing but wins their whole lives. We need something. And they have a beautiful family. It's, they got got everything we need this win We need a symbolic victory for losers. This is too much You're going to the game on Sunday even though your schedule is very busy You're capitalizing on a great deal of popularity right now

You're going to the game Sunday. How difficult will it be to get there? And are you gonna have like prime location when you get there because you are now their celebrity fan? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It is gonna be brutal. I'm literally in Dallas. So I had shows in Dallas. I'm supposed to be in Dallas the day after I did my special.

I was in, I filmed my special in Austin and I had Dallas the next day and I canceled it because I was like, I just shot a special. I'd rather do mushrooms and eat burgers by a pool than work. So I canceled it because of that. And I can't really cancel now again, because I'm like, Hey, I'm going to the AFC championship, you guys twice. So I unfortunately do have to stick to this, this these shows. And by the way, tickets still available, folks, or to the late show, it's going to be a really good show please buy them. So I have to get up at five a.m. and take

a flight. The only direct flight was Southwest. That's how much I love this organization. I will be taking a five a.m. Southwest flight to be there to see the show to see the to see the game. So if you've ever you know, it's not all glitz and glamour folks. That's what I'm saying. That's the most famous Baltimore the show to see the to see the game. So if you've ever, you know, it's not all glitz and glamor. That's what I'm saying. That's the most famous Baltimore fan. I am taking a Southwest flight to be there.

That's the difference. Taylor Swift is ruining the ozone to go pick up the cookie she likes from a different city she's in. And I'm out here flying coach, baby. That you know who America, you know, who to support. So it's not even close. Southwest is a cattle call. It ain't even coach even coach man it's just like everybody just run on there grab a seat first seat you see every flight to Baltimore on Southwest by the

way pretty much there's no there's no good yeah that's our that's our first glass actually it was either that or go a stowage on spirit those are the only direct flights what what what do you like on game day how unreasonable are you and how will you be on sunday you'll be crazy will you have trouble sleeping the night before i will actually won't be able to sleep is it's i'll have that i have the uh... game and that flight hanging over my head the last thing i need is missing a flight

and i'm just i'm just watching it from the airport bar in dallas instead of a suite. I would you know, I would kill myself if that happened. So there's I'm probably not sleeping at all. Game day, I'm just you know, I'm over the top. I'm I'm living and dying by every by every play. You know, I was there with my brother, we're watching the game and I'm just that first half, you know, I almost I almost jumped off the suite. But I was like, I believed in Lamar and I was like, I was like, all right, second half, he's got to come out, he's got to score, he's got to put the boot on their throat. And it's, it was awesome to see him actually do that. But you know, I'll be out, they got

me in the suite now when I was first getting tickets, you know, I was, I was outside. I was, you know, just having tenders. But we got we got you know I'm hooked up right now. They got the last time they came through with a tomahawk. I'm living crazy these days. I don't know what it's like. This is this is insane. The hook up and shout out to the Ravens for that. So I'm excited man. And there's going to be so many. I'm pumped to see actually you know everyone's coming out for this game. So there's, there's, you know, rumors of of Shaq's going to be there. We got Michael Phelps going to be there. It's just even the last game, it was crazy. We had, you know, Mellow, Rudy Gaye were there. It was all, you know, it was great to meet them. Josh Charles, great Baltimore actor.

So it was, it was cool. I'm just, it's going to be a very overwhelming experience because, you know, this started because I was mad. This started basically because I wanted to make these videos instead of getting arrested outside of Greg Roman's home. So I had to channel my frustration from last year's offense into these dumb little fan videos. And somehow that has led to me getting you know against all odds becoming a very

notable Ravens fan and you know I'm not going to be I'm not mad about it I'll take it for sure is Ronnie there is he going to join us and make any predictions before you go like I don't know is he is he with us or is he not available yeah yeah I think we can get Ronnie. I think we can get Ronnie here. Um, uh, oh my God, I cannot believe that the NFL coming and trying to fix this game. Okay. I don't know if y'all see it. They put a ref in there is friends with Patrick Mahomes that is going to do this. More is going to overcome NFL. My homes, we're going to win. I'm a guest. Two to three. Yeah, 82 to three. Um, Travis Kelsey, Jason

Kelsey. First of all, Jason Kelsey is a loser. I don't know if y'all know this. He met his wife on Tinder. Not the old fashion way. I met my girl. I'm at my girl because I was a defendant in her grandmother's identity fron case. And then one thing led to girl. I met my girl because I was a defendant in her grandmother's identity fraud case. And then one thing led to another. I ain't use a condom, of course. And now we are bonded

for life with my son, Cal Ripken Jr. Jr. The Ravens are gonna win this. Hook it up for credit cards in his name. And I bet $50,000 each one on the Ravens for tonight for this weekend. We're going to be millionaires off this. Let's get Ravens. Good seeing you again, sir. Again, he's got live shows coming up in Dallas and Michigan and hopefully does not get stuck in the Dallas airport bar. That sounds sad watching this game. Stavi, thanks for being on with us, buddy. We appreciate it.

Thanks, guys. Appreciate you. Appreciate it. Thanks guys, appreciate you. Don Lebatard. And finally, abstaining from food for 16 to 18 hours a day could be key to treating a variety of health conditions like stabilizing blood sugar levels and increasing resistance to stress. Stugots!

Mike, are you doing something like this right now? I lost a lot of weight doing intermittent fasting and low carb, so now I'm getting back to it. But how much in that six to eight hour window, how much can you eat unlimited? If I could just eat unlimited, I'd do that. That'd be fun. For six to eight hours.

You can't eat unlimited. Try me. No, no, I mean. This is the Don Lebatar Show with the Stugats. I have no idea if this is going to work, but we promised it the other day. Mike Ryan said he's been using Irifi. That is something to look in his ear with a camera to see what is in there and to see

how much wax is there or how many hairs are in there. And we said the other day, can't wait till Greg Cody comes in here so that we can inspect the inside of his ear. Why are you yawning, Charlotte? This is exciting television right now. Yes, it was involuntary, sorry. Okay, this is a very exciting time. Chris, what are we gonna find in your father's ear?

Mike is not confident in neither the technology nor the ability for your father to not have a cluster of hair that never gets us to any whack. I was gonna say a ton of hair is like minus 900, I don't know what we're gonna find. It's really all we're gonna find. At this segment, I'm feeling a little eerie about this segment.

All right. Ah, I see what you did. Well done, Chris. Not well done. Eerie is not the way he would feel. It's just a bad pun. I'm feeling eerie. I'm nervous about this.

I don't wanna hurt Greg's eardrum, Mike. Are you sure that you're qualified for this? No, he is not. Mike is off Mike, so he's not gonna be able to answer any questions. So is Greg, apparently. This seems like a so he's not going to be able to answer any questions. So is Greg apparently. This seems like a bit that's better served for the herd. My ears have no wax first of all. Can you take your headset off please so that we can inspect the inside of your ears and while we're doing this

Amin and Charlotte will you give us our best analysis. The best analysis you're gonna put it in your ear in a second. You're gonna do it yourself. Hold on a second. Greg, can you hold on a second? Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh no. Oh my god. What is that? No, put it in there. Don't take it out. Put it back in there. I see a light. Oh my god. Is that? Oh. I see a lot of whacks My dad goes that is awful We just go in there go in there scope we don't need you to clean it just just can we do two things at once, please? Doc Rivers is now the Bucks coach Charlotte and Amin discussed

Discussed. I'm discussed. Yeah, that's exactly how I feel, Dan. Can we get a little deeper? This is awful. Oh! I keep seeing light. Oh my God!

I can't believe that's in my head. There, do the left ear. Let's do the other ear. And again, Amin and Charlotte, your best Doc Rivers analysis please. Well, he is now the coach of the Milwaukee Boxing. I hate to wax play. What is that?

Oh my god. This feels irresponsible. There you go. That's my guy. Was that a bug? I saw something that was moving. That was an insect. There's some debris field.

Doc's gonna keep beating that drum until they win a championship I don't want this segment to fall on deaf ears that old It reminds me of something one of my favorite rappers Q-tip said You've got one really long dark black hair in there. Yeah, right there You've got one really long dark black hair in there. Yeah, right there. Not much wax, but a lot of hair. Yes, now I think though, that is- Mike, how much to put that in your mouth?

Oh, wow. Don't do it. That was already too close. You want me to do it about it? Louis said he'll do it for 25 bucks. Is that so? That's so long, that's sad. No, I don't want to

I feel like this is really irritating It is irritating come I think all of the rest of you should do that ear thing too because I guarantee you I'm not alone in having ear hair Well, this is what I want to do my father is out there somewhere And I believe that that is the gold standard for terrible things inside of your ear that have been there for a long time. Oh, that's what then your dad's ears. Yes, I think we should do this. We need to disinfect this instrument first.

Yes, please. Well, I think Mike said he's got several of them. Just walk out there and jam it in his ear, just without any excuse. Mike said he has another one. While we're waiting for him to get my father, I am serious about this. I'd like to know, Doc Rivers is now the coach of the box. It's a pretty big story. yeah and and I'm fairly shocked by it it's fairly shocking if I told you guys before this season hey half the

season in you know who's gonna be coaching Janice and Dame it's gonna be Doc none of you would have said that. Dan you're always asking the wrong questions you're asking oh Doc replacing Adrian Griffin I'm asking who's replacing Doc on ESPN. I was just gonna say can Doc still coach the bucks and Keep his job as an ESPN analyst. I think he's got it. I gotta toss that one So is it just gonna be Doris and Mike Breen? Are they gonna upgrade maybe JJ Redick maybe Richard Jefferson or do they call up Jeff Van Gundy or Mark Jackson say hey You want to do this one more can you know what they always say about your color commentators

though, ear today gone tomorrow. You know, just glad we've got a doc here in this segment as we look through Greg's ears. I really, really debated doing a Doc Rivers, Paul Peir's pun. That would have been good. And I was like, that's too much Doc Rivers Paul Ear pun. That would have been good. And I was like, that's too much, that's too much. And then you walked in with ear today.

So Mike just cleaned, you know, took a cotton swab and just kind of like cleaned all, like I think he cleaned it. You know what, he cleaned it. He wiped it off. He wiped it, it was a very. And we should take the word of the man who. There's a new ear condom on it,

the world's smallest condom right here. Oh, you wrap those up? Oh, nice. How'd you get into mustache? All right, my father is coming into the studio. I appreciate that you guys would not respect the question about how it changes the NBA and went immediately to broadcasting.

The one ESPN subject I didn't want to talk about. Really? That's usually your wheelhouse. I know, but I'm less interested in that. I haven't grown attached to talk about. Really? That's using your wheelhouse. I know, but I'm less interested in that. I haven't grown attached to that team. It's been together two months. Look, Doc knows what he's doing. I think it'll be an upgrade.

We'll see what happens. We all know that the playoffs, playoffs. Jeremy outright just shook his head no. And no it won't. Doc Rivers for a team that wants to win a championship. Come on. What if we find a spider in Poppy's ear? Charlotte, hold on, we'll get to that in a second.

Charlotte, why does your coverage need to be optimistic of this? Why are you trying to be optimistic about this? I don't know. It's far funnier as Anarchy that fails. Okay, well yeah, I mean if he wants to blow a three one lead in the playoffs for the fourth time, he has a good chance.

Look at it that way, he could set a record. Dan, no one ever talks about how hard it is to get a 3-1 lead. Sure, he's blown more than anyone ever, but he had to build the 3-1 lead to blow it. My father's in position. Poppy, do you know what we're going to do to you right now? Have they given you any information

on what we're doing right now? Hold on a second, Papi. No, I have no idea. Okay, so what do you think that device is next to your right ear right now? The device? Oh, I don't know what is that. I don't know, I have no idea what is it.

It is a toothbrush. It is a rectal thermometer. Why? It depends over. No, it is something we're going to. And what? Where come up? You didn't bring me all the way from South Beach to here.

Well, how's your uncle? I did. I did. But it is for your ear. It is to inspect your ear. It is a camera that goes inside the ear so we can find out what kind of hair you have in your ear. We just did it with Greg Cody and we found a lot of, we found the Everglades.

Is that right? Yeah, and so are you ready for us to stick this in your ear to see what this camera reveals? No, I'm never ready for that. I was telling them the other day that you once did the wax with the fire that we did in wax cone with fire in your ear. Does that work?

Yeah, and we pulled out a lot of wax from your ear. Yeah, well, yeah, among other things, wax. Yes. Yes. Yes, spiders? Hell yeah. Any spiders? Well, I don't know about spiders, but you know, a lot of air though. All right, so let's see. Are you willing to do this? We need consent, Poppy. We can't do it unless you give us permission. How much does a gel pay? What's our say for it if he doesn't like it?

A good question. Coconut. Papi, we paid you in pastelitos. We barely got you over here because you were wandering around the eating area just consuming free pastelitos. Well, that's my favorite brand. Anything for free, right? All right. You ready to go?

Let's go. We're going to take this off and we're going to see what's in here. Jessica, are you ready? I don't feel like you're ready.'m scared. There's gonna be a spider Charlotte are you ready? Yeah, I I hope it's I hope it goes well It's a pretty good quality camera by the way it is. I'm impressed in there. It would be fairly amazing pretty hairy Yes, clean no poppy. Cleaner than Greg's for sure. That's a nice one. Liquid, they got some liquid in there.

That's the good stuff right there. Little ear soup. I'm not gonna get that one. That's the good stuff. There's a couple of growths on there. Whose ear has got more in it? I think it was Greg. I still think it was Greg.

Second one. Greg's got a wider than refilled for sure. It looks like a beaver damn well broccoli cheddar action you abrasion I can't grab it let me try It's stimulating the wax! Oh! Oh! This is hot! This is hot! Oh! Oh, god! Stop it!

It's a nice little sheet! Stop! It's a sheet of ear wax! Oh, god! Oh, that was so yellow! So I'm the winner? Oh! I'm the king!

We're not out of the woods yet! Oh, my god! Come on! That was so good! That is! What do we got? Oh, god! Hold it up to a regular camera Mike not looking anymore I can't look there it is look at that ladies and gentlemen gaze upon thine eyes yeah Greg's ear in hindsight yeah very clean you guys can't see Dan, but he's collapsed into a heap of fat. What happened?

What happened? What happened to Dan? He got this. He's out. That's worse. That's good stuff. He's moaning very softly. Ears hoping the next segment's better.

Lewis wants to eat it.