The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz - Hour 1: Best Back In My Day

Episode Date: August 25, 2025

"Way to stay alive, Brian." Dan (unsurprisingly) didn't like the Cowboys documentary, Greg reveals he has a new text buddy (for journalism reasons), and an umpire may have the worst (Andrew) luck we've ever seen. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Reading, playing, learning. Stellist lenses do more than just correct your child's vision. They slow down the progression of myopia. So your child can continue to discover all the world has to offer through their own eyes. Light the path to a brighter future with stellar lenses for myopia control. Learn more at SLOR.com. And ask your family eye care professional for SLR Stellist lenses at your child's next visit. at Starbucks we serve cold coffee just the way you like it that refreshing chill of ice that rich smooth taste you crave that handcrafted care every time your summer ritual is ready at Starbucks there you are pushing your newborn baby in a stroller through the park the first time out of the house in weeks you have your Starbucks venty because you know sleep deprivation you meet your best friend she asks you how it's going to

you immediately begin to laugh, then cry, then laugh cry, that's totally normal, right? She smiles, you hug, there's no one else you'd rather share this with. You know, three and a half hour's sleep is more than enough. Starbucks, it's never just coffee. This is the Dan Levatore show with the Stucats podcast. I know we talk about leadership as if we know what a football coach is supposed to do in the managing of people and egos. But when I bring up the Mike McDaniel Tyreek Hill thing, or let's bring it to America's team here and the Dallas Cowboys

where you have a coach who hasn't done anything. He's got a name that his father made famous, a coach that hasn't done in the league what Michael Parsons has done in the league. And these people are not to be trifled with when it comes to respect and disrespect. You saw the sound we played of Shaquille O'Neal saying, what happens? He wants to fight Pat Riley, and Pat Riley has to trade him the next day. So what do you do if you're the Dallas Cowboys, if you're in charge of Micah Parsons, when one of the things that keeps happening here, Michael Parsons is the biggest star on that team. I mean, we can say Dak Prescott, we could say CD Lamb, but as a personality that represents what the Cowboys have passed represented,

he's got his own power, his own podcast, and now he fights with management. Jerry Jones loves to make spectacle of these things, but he's disrespected now, an important player who now disrespects back in the modern age of football players can now make requests and demands of trades that you, that unthought of five years ago, the idea of somebody's going to go up against the culture of the power with either request or demand a trade, maybe 10 years ago. It's just not a, I know there are holdouts, but it's not a normal thing to have players all over the league requesting or demanding trades, especially players of this kind of value. This is a classic Jerry Jones misplay for the sake of attention, in my opinion.

Michael Parsons is not just a really good defensive player. He's one of the best in the league. He's on a Hall of Fame track for all pros in his first four seasons. I mean, this guy is extraordinary. I don't think he's the biggest star on the team. He's certainly the best. best player on the team. He's going to get his money and they need to give it to him. And the hassle they're putting him through where he's dissatisfied, he's asking for a trade. This is just Jerry Jones being Jerry. Put it on the poll at Levitant Show. Biggest Cowboy Star, C.D. Lamb, Dak Prescott or Micah Parsons. I should clarify, like, it's been since the late 90s that star players have been demanding trades. Eli Manning did it before he even entered the league.

Bled so on down. So this is pretty normal in the league. It's not necessarily. normal for someone to come out the gates. Usually this is in the public a little bit longer than it was for Michael Parsons where it just came out and demanded a trade, but it's not a failed attempt at getting attention. If you think that's solely the reason for this, then he's gotten the attention, Greg. And we've seen this before. I have a hard time working myself up in terms of having genuine interests in this story because we've seen a lot of Cowboys holdouts play out in the public space. The first take talks about it ad nauseum. And then what a inevitably happens is Jerry Jones caves, gives in the big contract, and it usually aligns

itself with kickoff of the regular season. Let me make a correction to your correction, because the quarterbacks have had the power to do it. They're the only ones who have had the power to do it. Carl Pickens, Randy Moss, Dion Sanders. It goes on and on. This is not uncommon in the NFL. Yeah.

I mean, I sort of agree with Mike, but I also think that Jerry Jones right now cannot afford what is happening with Mike apart. He has to get him sewn up with a big contract because Jerry John, imagine the frustration he's going to feel, and the short leash Brian Schottenheimer has. As far as I concerned, Schottenheimer has won and done with this team. If they don't make the playoffs, I don't think he's back for a second season. You've got Philadelphia, the best team in the league right now in that division. You've got an up-and-coming Washington with Jaden Daniels.

Dallas is a low third right now in that division, and Schottenheimer has to win right now or he's out. and part of that is you have to have Michael Parsons on your team. But what do you do, though? Like, he's lying on a table during the game. What do you do if you're the coach? He says he's going to meet with him. He says he's going to ask him questions. But when you start with the back and forth on disrespect in public,

and it's part of your owner's blueprint. I want to get back. Have any of you seen the Cowboys documentary on Netflix? Because I did something with it that I've never done in my life on a dance. documentary before. I got seven eighths of the way through it and gave up on it at the end because it was so formulaic about how NFL filmsing they were doing it, how they were going and covering games from 30 years ago to do this the way that Jerry Jones wanted done as opposed to the true way to do it, like the real way to do it where you're not just covering Michael Irvin's

infidelity, but you're also covering Jerry Jones's public missteps on this front, but Jerry Jones told the story he wanted to tell, where he still wants the credit for a Herschel Walker trade. He had nothing to do with, nothing to do with, and he's still out here with the petty grievances of trying to tell his own story because he's trying to attach himself to all these things in the most jock-sniffer of ways. He wants to be responsible for the football success, the attention, the circus. That was not worth eight episodes. It was fat by four episodes because they told no further story on.

past details and did the least possible amount you could do with those particular people on camera. Five instances in which there have been star players for the Dallas Cowboys that have held out only to sign a big time extension just days before the season started. And that's not even counting examples like Dak Prescott, which Jerry made a whole big deal of wanting to announce the day one of the season, but Tyreek Hill had the nerve to go ahead and get arrested and take it out of the headlines. We have a holdout from Michael Irvin in 1992, held out there in training camp sign days before the regular season started. Ezekiel Elliott had one. Zach Martin had two of them. CD Lamb had one in 2024. This all follows the formula. Big spectacle for cable TV to

chew on these things. Jerry Jones inevitably caves. To your point, if Jerry Jones is the de facto producer of your documentary on the Cowboys, you know it's going to be sugar-coded. You know it's going to be I was just so bummed by it because my expectations were so high because I know how rich that story is, but they added so few new details that hadn't been in Jeff Perlman's book and we're just stealing from Jeff Perlman's book without giving him any of the credit for it. It was also rushed because they had to get it out before football season. And Jerry Jones insists on being the center of an eight-part story when all they're doing is covering things from 30 years ago.

And yeah, you can do the nostalgia of that. We'll eat that up, but you're, again, I ask the group here because it doesn't seem like most people care what's happening to the truth in exchange for access. Because all this was was, look, we can get George Bush to do it because Jerry Jones asked him. We could get Rupert Murdoch to do it because Jerry Jones asked him. We could get Roger Goodell to do it because Jerry Jones is telling people, go tell my story, tell them how important I am to this entire thing. The league, the show, the team, when I don't actually do anything other than trying to. take the credit from Jimmy Johnson. And the parallel between this documentary and Micah Parsons is that it's all about Jerry.

All right. He has spent an entire career from the Jimmy Johnson signing to Micah Parsons demanding the attention that feeds his ego. And for 30 years now, his team hasn't been super relevant beyond its America's team title, but yet here he goes still. I like to think that at one point, Jerry Jones and Michael Parsons have had a conversation. that went, Micah, we're going to sign you. You're going to get your money. Let's just have some fun with this. I wouldn't put that beyond Jerry Jones. I understand what you're

lamenting, Dan, but that's just the way it's been. You only get the participation in the documentary if they can make money on it. And they'll give you access and, in turn, their own truth. You said earlier, get me Avery Johnson's dad and his older brother. They're more likely to start their own podcast and give them your truth as opposed to you actually getting them to answer questions truthfully. All right, so let me ask you these questions about this documentary, because I imagine it'll be very popular, and the nostalgia stuff works. Old men tell stories is something that can reach across demographics, because with one age group, you're reliving glory days, and with another age group, you're just giving them an entertaining history lesson. So, they spent six

episodes on 30 years ago, because it's the last time they did anything. And the whole in Jerry Jones's heart that must exist because he's roaming the earth for 30 years and yeah, he won with Barry Switzer, but Barry Switzer won with Jimmy's players. The rest of the time the only way he can beat Jimmy's equal is to fight with him. It's the only

way. Like he'll never have the respect that Jimmy Johnson has where Michael Irvin is saying in the documentary I would have played after my paralysis thing if it had been Jimmy, but I wasn't going to do it for Chan Galey. Equal in terms of achievement in the game, yeah, he's probably got to be chasing that Jimmy goes for a long

time, but they are not equal in terms of relevancy. Jimmy Johnson's retired. Jerry Jones is the first topic on first time. I get it, but that hole never gets filled. You can make all the noise in the off season. You can get all the attention in the off season. The hole will never be filled. He built that.

You didn't. And you're still making documentaries trying to get the last word where you get all your powerful friends to go out there and do your bidding. And you won the money. You did win the money, but they're talking at the end of that. When I checked out on that, it's the Jones. family of nepotism talking about, man, we've got to do this before dad dies. Like, you don't understand what this means to him. This is Kobe winning without Shaq.

Like, Jerry Jones, he can have all the money in the world, all the money. That whole will never be filled for him unless he can do it without Jimmy Johnson. And the whole, the crater, has only gotten bigger because for the first time, in a long time, Dallas is third in a four-team division. There are two teams clearly better than him, and that hasn't been the case in a while. feet in the machine. No, because that is a storyline that is even more pronounced. Thank you to this propaganda that makes us very clear on his mortality as a guy that fought stage four cancer and conquered it over a 10-year battle. This is what he needs to conquer before he leaves this earth,

America's team. Look, every football game is a grind. And if you're like Dan and the crew, you know there's no such thing as one size fits all. Your sleep should be just as custom as coach's game plan. That's where sleep number comes in. You get to call. your own plays. Softer, firmer, cooler, warmer, your comfort, change it whenever you want. No more feeling stuck like a busted play. And for all the late night fights over the thermostat, climate series cools up 20 times faster than the competition. True temp betting kicks heat and humidity to the sidelines so you can actually stay chill all night long. Bottom line, sleep number is like having a sleep coach in your corner, adjusting to you all night because your best game

starts with the right rest. Why choose a sleep number smart bed? So you can sleep just the way that you like the only bed that lets you make each side firmer or softer whenever you like your sleep number setting sleep number's biggest sale of the year is here all beds on sale up to 50% off the limited edition smart bed limited time exclusively at a sleep number store near you sleep number official sleep and wellness partner of the NFL see store or sleep number dot com for details howdy folks it's mike Ryan and just in time for football season I am happy to announce our partners at game time are back and look it's not NFL season without in-demand ticket there's some big games coming it's going to be hard to get through that door sometimes your only option is a secondary market the

game time app gives the advantage back to fans it's the hack for unlocking amazing tickets and experiences in a few taps it's incredibly easy to use and the game time guarantee means you can trust you'll get 100% authentic tickets on time at the best price plus fees are always included so what you see is what you pay i'm an NFL free agent so i'm always looking for the biggest games, and GameTime makes it so easy to peruse the app and find incredible deals. Like NFL tickets is low as $100. They have incredible features like seat views. You get a panoramic view from your seat in the app before you buy.

This is clutch if you're not familiar with the venue. And their low price guarantee means game time will credit you 110% of the difference if you find a lower price out there. Take the guesswork out of buying NFL tickets with GameTime. Download the GameTime app, create an account, and use code Dan for $20 off your first purchase. Terms apply. Again, create an account and redeem code D8. and for $20 off. Swipe, tap, ticket, go.

Download the GameTime app today. This episode is brought to you by Defender. With its 626 horsepower twin-turbo V8 engine, the Defender Octa is taking on the Dakar rally. The ultimate off-road challenge. Learn more at landrover.ca. Don Libetard. Is there back in my day?

There is, actually. What? Are you not going to tell anyone? Wait a minute. You guys, it's a Tuesday. It's a Tuesday. Stugats. Here's your guide.

Greg Cody with Back in My Day. Okay, here it is. Sorry. Adeltery. Oh. Yeah. We are back. We're waiting for this one.

This is the Dan Lebatar show with the Stugats. Let me ask you guys this question off of the college football of the weekend. Stanford loses to Hawaii, and it got me to thinking about Andrew Luck in the position of overseer of Stanford football. All of us look at that and say, sure, that makes sense. Your father was an administrator. You would go right to the front of the line and grab the top of the power. at Stanford, and that would be something that would matter to you education-wise, symbol-wise, you left the sport early. What an amazing thing for Andrew Luck. Why would he be good at that job?

Just in terms of qualifications. I think we all assume he'd be good at that job. But what about leading a team down the field would make you a good administrator that would make you be able to lead the finances of a program because you're over-budget over here in this part of the athletic program. I asked the question thinking he'll probably be good at the job, but only because he was smart as a quarterback, not because I think he's actually got qualifications that would lead to being a manager in this particular setting. I would say the short answer is nothing. Nothing on his resume indicated he would be a great general manager of a major college program. He knows ball. He's good at football. That's fine. And I say this, not because he lost his opener,

but he's already made one monumental mistake when he names the coach and interim coach. You don't do that in college football. Okay, all the recruits are going, what? Interim coach? I don't know if I'm signing with somebody. I don't know if he's going to be here next. So a lot of the recruits. No. You name him the coach and then you fire him if you have to. It's going to take a minute. Look, it's going to take them more than the year and I understand that decision. I'm just asking what it is that we're extending to Andrew Luck that we don't necessarily extend to everybody just because

he was a smart quarterback. If you think that that family doesn't have deep ties to some of the biggest fundraisers in Stanford. You're fooling yourself. No one has a deeper understanding of Stanford athletics and arguably Andrew Luck and has great relationships with all the money there that he needs to. And on top of that, he knows ball. He did it at a high level. He knows what that looks like. He played under Jim Harball when they were clicking on all cylinders. I'd say he's plenty qualified and he has his dad to lean on and his dad was an Uber successful administrator in the sport. I actually think it's a pretty natural selection. He also has a bachelor's degree in architectural design. He also has a bachelor's degree in

architectural design. Good for him. And a master's in education. Look, he may turn out great. And I also think that the Andrew Luck name has a little bit of nobility attached to it because he's the rare athlete who got out on top. It's not a little bit of nobility. There are very few.

There are very few athletes in the history of Stanford that would matter to Stanford the way that Andrew Luck does. And Mike's not wrong when he says, well, he's close to the donors. That's what makes him qualify. And that's important. I understand the hiring. I just don't know that the name is going to make him greater at a job. I'm not even, I'm not, again, I want to preface all of this by saying,

I too, when they hired him, just immediately assumed, yes, that makes perfect sense. I also assume it's going to take a minute. But Stanford losing to Hawaii, like in terms of a start, when Frank Reich is your coach as an interim because you just need something that's abandoned, somebody who doesn't have aspirations beyond this one year of trying to get Andrew Luck to help build this bridge. But you guys don't understand how much he has to learn here, right? Frank Reich also took the job because they fired their coach Troy Taylor in late March,

which is very late in the coaching, you know, hiring process because of the fact that he had investigations into mistreatment of employees. So this was a band-aid from the beginning, not just for Andrew Luck, just we need to kind of get on to the next season. And Frank is not our long-term goal here or solution, but he's going to navigate us while we get this set up. It's not an easy job that he took over. Sanford is twisting in the wind, really struggling with the modern age of college athletics. Look where they're playing in the ACC. They travel more than any other team. There's loads of reasons why they're struggling. They had a terrible time in the portal since it ever was a thing. It's a long

road ahead to that program. The reason I bring some of this up, and again, I'm saying I too jump to the same conclusion, but I see Tom Brady come over and immediately insult because he's the owner and he's used to power. Wayne Rooney and all of his players with the criticism

they don't work hard enough. He gets there. He's Tom Brady. When I say Andrew Luck has credentials in Stanford, yes. Tom Brady has all of the credentials, but we keep putting them in jobs that are at the very top of where other people have to train all their lives to get those spots and they learn certain things

on their way to the top of that. I think we underestimate how hard this job has become and how hard it is to do for Urban Meyer, Nick Saban, Andrew Luck, any of it, because when you take away the rules and the money just starts flowing in from every avenue, I love that Andrew Luck would choose a degree of difficulty challenge like I need to stay motivated with some sort of sports work effort that doesn't ruin my body for my child. Like I, I like the nobility of all of that, and I don't have a better candidate for you for that job, but he's got no training for it. Right. Like, you can say he played at Stanford, and you can say he can play in the NFL, but he's got no training for the position because it's a position we've invented five years

ago because nobody knows what the hell is happening right now. Yeah, and now the college football realm is more complicated, more difficult, more multifaceted than it's ever been. Likeability factor through the roof with Aaron, Andrew, look, we're all rooting for them, but will he succeed in what Mike rightly says is a very tough situation? You know, I wouldn't bet on it. There are administrators that are ADs right now that have administrative experience. But, Dan, I'd venture to say that not a lot of people have experience for what college athletics is right now. It's a amorphous thing that you have no idea where it's actually headed.

You know what the NCAA wants to have. you don't know what's going to get challenged in court. I think you've often said, athletic directors, thoroughly unimpressive has a breed. What is their main job? Raise money. Andrew Luck can do that. Raise money and solve problems.

Yes, I think he's also the rare administrator that can help a coach walk into a living room and talk an athlete, any athlete, not just in football, to come to our school, building a beautiful thing in Palo Alto. I should probably also mention that in their first game, Stanford lost to Hawaii's kicker, who was from Japan and learned how to kick on YouTube, figured out how to kick on YouTube and figured out how to get a scholarship and kick a game-winning field goal against Andrew Luck

after learning how to kick on YouTube. But Andrew Luck could have had the job for six years, and that still would have happened. So what difference does that make? Correct. That's one nihilistic viewpoint. Anything in sports can happen with anybody in charge, but in Amher, Andrew Luck's first game, Andrew Luck had, again, a Hawaii team that most of us just associate with losing every time in that spot, unless sometimes the team has had some flight issues getting over to Hawaii and they're at home. It can be problematic.

It's hard to come out of the T.C. Ching athletic complex alive. But Stanford, the expectations for Stanford are substantively higher in football than they are for Hawaii. Yeah. Smart school, though. Good GPAs. Got to give him credit. Andrew Locke would be what the athletes that Stanford claims are John Elway and Tiger Woods, right? And Andrew Luck is somewhere in that stratosphere with those people, a history of both academics and athletics. Katie Ladecki? Oh, there you go.

I hope. Yeah. Boom. Who's an ally? Congratulations, Mike. I don't think that that should have been an outer thought. I think that should have remained an inner thought. Boom! Jim Plunkett, Richard Sherman.

ACC legend, Katie Ledecky. Yeah, Katie. We'll get to the suey for best back in my day. I wonder who will be the winner of that category. The Greg Cody Show featuring Greg Cody features also Mario Cristobal this week, as Greg Cody does his annual interview with the coach. Did you get uproarious laughter? Did you slap his back and throw your head back laughing

because there's no pressure on him and just it's grand to be Mario Cristobal right now? I just don't assume that you and Mario Cristobal, like, I don't assume that you just had roaring laughter because he's in a real relaxed space. No, he's not, he's not in a relaxed space. I mean, we didn't talk to him on Game Week. We talked to him a few days ago, so he was sort of relaxed. We had some laughs. There was some genuine connection there.

Like, it seemed like Mario was excited to see my dad, which was fun. If there's anything to tune in for, tune in for my dad asking what is the longest first question in podcast history. I had to jump in twice and say, get to the question. What happened? He does this thing, and, you know, Dan, sometimes you can do this thing, where it's like, I'm trying to, like, I'm trying to set up everything, and it's just three minutes in. I'm like, let the man speak. We only have 12 minutes with him.

No, we had about 25 minutes with him, but your point is well taken. I'm glad you interrupted me, but it was a good conversation. Mario and I go back a long way. That's what got your dad into the three minutes right there. Oh, he's delighted to see me up. Oh, I know your brother. I've known you for years. And then he's breaking down, like, the first three season.

His first season, this happened. And then, it's just like, get to the question, dude. I'm giving him a proper introduction. I'm a professional. But it was nice. Mario and I have become text buddies. Wow. We have a good relationship.

Tuddies. It's all good. It's all good. But I encourage people. That's a big guest for my podcast. I'm proud to have them. Great interview. I encourage people to listen to.

Make a break season for the canes, Greg? Yes. When you say text buddies, you text buddies, like you text a podcast? Good luck before the game or like good nights, some nights. What's the last thing he texted? It's journalism related. I ask for something and blah, blah, blah.

I don't want to go into detail, but, you know. Journalism related. He really threw a shadowy curtain over everything he's doing there. He volunteered. We become text buddies, but then he shut it down. It sounds more business than, like, buddies, honestly. Just like if you need something from him, you text it. That's a one-way relationship.

Give him, like, a good restaurant racket. Yeah, happy birthday text, nothing like that. I had a new, I went to this new restaurant. You should check it out. have to disclose to your readers and listeners now that you are now friends with Mario Cristobal? No, I wouldn't call it friends. That doesn't seem impartial. Text buddies is what he said. We don't socialize. Did you tell Mario Cristobal that he's one in six versus ranked opponents at Miami? That did not come up, actually. That did not come up. And that's why we get Mario on our

show. No, I'm kidding. It was a good interview. I'm very proud of the conversation. The Greg Cody Show featuring Greg Cody. Also, back in my day is a staple of his. It is out in book form where you can find what is largely recycled material now that he doesn't do any fresh stuff anymore. Here is the suey category, Greg Cody's Best Back in My Day. And

now the Suey nominees for Best Back in My Day. Cruise ships. Ah. It's all about the action and excitement now. You see any of these ads? Just watching them makes me exhausted. People dive bombing feet first down terrifying vertical water flumes,

bungee jumping out over the ocean, surfing simulators, tidal waves, indoor skydiving, unhealthy voids, scaling a rock, zip lines. What am I in a marine boot camp? I didn't sign up for a thrill ride. I don't want to compete. I want to relax on my cruise. Get my money's worth on the drink card and doze on the deck in a chaise lounge with a dog-eared paperback on my lap, preferably pride of a lion.

even do that. Nowadays the decks are a raucous boulevard with serpentining conga lines of dancers and Carmen Miranda hats and ping pong tables. Tell me the genius who thought that up. A ping pong ball weighs less than a tenth of an ounce versus gale force ocean wind. You can't relax anymore on a cruise deck because the ship has jogging trails as health nuts who forgot they were on vacation or huffing it past constantly checking their smart watch to see if they're on pace. On pace for what? To be a more fit corpse? And why are there gyms on cruise ships in the first place? It's an oxymoron. It's like having a cocktail lounge in a synagogue. I don't need a gym to work out. I'm doing 12-ounce curls with a Miller light bottle. You won't catch Greg Cody doing anything

more strenuous on a cruise than playing a couple of holes of mini-golf, watching my wife lose it bingo, getting annoyed during some trivia contest or praying at the roulette wheel. One other thing, It's not a Broadway or a Cirque to Saleh. I'm on a big, slow boat. I don't need a concert or a show production. Just give me an open buffet and a bar every 25 feet. Make cruise ships dull again. I'm Greg Cody, and that's how it was back in my day.

That's it? Come on. I know. One? You did one fresh one, and I've heard all that material. Who are you going to vote for? I think that one's got a good chance. I don't know.

ridiculous. You guys aren't respecting. You can vote for best back in my day at lebitardaf.com. Thank you. I was thinking, how long is this? How long is this category? And then I realized he hasn't done any fresh ones. Do you have a fresh one this week? I do not. You know, with all

the suey work up and doing... Yeah, with all the suey stuff I've been doing extracurricular activities, who's got time for a new back in my day? As a B-MAL-Eclipse Visa Infinite Cardholder, you don't just earn points. You earn five times the points. On the must-haves like groceries and gas

and little extras like takeout and ride share So you build your points faster And then you can redeem your points on things like travel and more And we could all use a vacation Apply now and get up to 60,000 points So many points For more info visit bemo.com slash eclipse Visit us today

Terms and conditions apply Summer's here and you can now get almost anything you need For your sunny days delivered with Uber Eats What do we mean by almost? Well, you can't get a well-groom lawn delivered, but you can get a chicken parmesan delivered. A cabana? That's a no. But a banana?

That's a yes. A nice tan? Sorry, nope. But a box fan? Happily, yes. A day of sunshine? No. A box of fine wines?

Yes. Uber Eats can definitely get you that. Get almost, almost anything delivered with Uber Eats. Order now. Alcohol and select markets. Product availability may vary by Regency app for details. Oh, hi, hi, buddy. Who's the best?

You are. I wish I could spend all day with you instead. Uh, Dave, you're huff mute. Hey, happens to the best of us. Enjoy some goldfish cheddar crackers. Goldfish have short memories. Be like goldfish. Don Lebatard.

My wife says this is a sexy voice. It really is. Yeah. I'm hard. Thank you. Wow. Stugats. So am I, actually.

I don't know why. This is the Dan Lebatar show with the Stugats. I've got a couple of other things that I want to get to from the weekend, but let's gearhead it first. Go get the Richard Gear Gearhead so that we can have a fluid transition. Transmission fluid. Let's transmission fluid. Is that a thing?

Yes, yes it is. Left turns, baby. Gearhead is presented by NASCAR for all the latest insights and storylines. And to find out where and when you can watch, visit nascar.com. Guys, it was a night race at Daytona, the world's most famous race track, and it was the last race of the regular season. And the storyline here was Alex Bowman, the 48 car, much maligned at Hedrick Motorsports. You have all the resources in the world.

Why aren't you better? You hold the last playoff spot. You need a good performance here to clinch your way into the playoffs. crashes out very early in the race. Now he needs a repeat winner, or he is O-L-I. Well, thankfully, thanks to the closest finish with the top four in NASCAR history. That's right, four cars within 49 milliseconds of one another. Zero-four-nine milliseconds. That sounds close. So the photo finish isn't even helping you. You're like, how the hell you're doing this? You're doing this technologically, electronically. Ryan Blaney came from Mars to win that race. He was 12th with two laps

to go. With the next-gen cars, you really don't see this. But you had him and Cole Custer kind of partner up. One was telling the other, and they just blaze their way to the front of the pack. And he kept Alex Bowman in the playoffs. Playoffs start now this week. Really exciting season for NASCAR so far. Really happy that Ryan Blaney, the worst part of the life is no longer losing and having hard luck. He had a really great race. say, Sarah. What is the worst part of the life? I'm waiting for the rest of that. Are we

still in the silence? I thought that we were still in the silence. The awkwards? Yeah. Wrecking. Yeah, there's that, too. It is a good answer. No bad questions. Only bad answers. Other than that one bad question. One of the things that I feared, you guys know that I was a youth league umpire. What my career

ended one time when I made a T-ball kid cry while he was sliding into third base because my out sign was so dramatically flamboyant. But I hated being behind home plate umpiring because, and I don't, I think this is one of the great underrated dangerous things in sports being in and around the batters box on foul tips and stuff that are going 100 miles an hour. And I was always afraid of my junk. I never owned a cup of any kind in my youth.

did I know to do so. And so the umpire, I mean, what do Cuban parents know about cups? Like, I don't know. But as an umpire, I was scared of what this one umpire got. This is just unbelievably bad luck. This is over the course of a full game, really bad luck for this umpire who, for people not watching seems like an older guy. I'm putting them at like my dad's age.

Okay. And this is a dangerous spot and this is what I'm afraid of. I'm afraid of this for the catcher. I'm afraid of this for the umpire, but let's just go through. This guy get hit three times down there. Oh. That was the first one. Yeah, that's...

Now we cut to later in the game. Deep in the undercarry. Oh, that's straight on. That's not even foul tip. That's just a bad catcher. He's struggling. That's just a bad catcher. Well, that one didn't even go in the dirt.

He takes a step. And now the third one. Oh, my God. His arm seized there. For the podcast audience, we're watching an umpire hit hitting the dick over the other. And the third one, he fell to the ground into the field. All right, you've got to isolate those sounds for me. The third one is, look for the arm twitching.

Before we relive the sounds, guys, can you just get that third one back up there? Yes, I guess I have a question. All right, for the audio audience, the umpire going down as if, a sack of potatoes had been dropped from a helicopter. All right, we got the third one here. Here we go. The umpire going down on the third one in a way that we can all imagine. Oh!

Just laying in the field position. And he never got up. Behind home plate. He did get up. He was not buried there. That did not terminate. That did not end his life. But can I hear the escalating sounds?

One after another. Oh my God. I want to hear the three of them, and I want to hear them in order, and I want to hear him isolated so that we could just see this escalation. But on the third one, he does give up. His body is lifeless behind home plate, and it came with the sound you'd expect. My favorite is this one, where afterwards you hear a little coaching.

No one's worried about the umpire. Go! Way to stay alive, Brian. Way to stay alive, Brian. It may have been the umpire. Maybe the umpire's name Brian. You know what I know. Empire Brian, yeah.

Go! Stay alive, Brian. That's the second one, but the third one is the worst of these. You can't play it enough over the rest of the show. Poor guy.

Does it sound like he's a poor guy? Because this is universally funny. This is almost like the original joke, is it not? This is, the things that are universally funny are somebody falling down. This has two of them. This has two of them, because at the end he gives you the punctuation. But always funny, somebody falling down, always funny somebody being hit in the groin. You combine the two of them and you've got gold.

And then, of course, the original joke, the fart. There may have been one of those two. He's got to have a cup. Like you, he wasn't wearing a cup? No, but it sounds like he, it sounds like he does. does have a cup, it does sound like that, it sounds like it's made of cardboard as well, but it sounds like that is hitting

something that is not human flesh. I just love the third one so much. I mean, oh, well, the third one is great for a number of reasons, but one of them is, yeah, well, but it's just both arms jutting out

like where he's like, really, like, he knows at this point the Cosmos are playing a joke on him once he gets hit with the third time, And then he just quits. He quits on the game. He quits on dignity. He's on the ground thing.

And I'm getting $12 for doing this little league game. I got to get a real job. And then he sounds exactly like Homer Simpson. And on the video, the coach just waddling to him. Right. Well, you got a coach who's got a substantive belly. Few soda bodies on the diamond. This is more than a soda body.

This is someone who leads with his gut. And he is very much. Couldn't have been less like eager. You're just like, oh, let me go check on this guy. Let me check on an umpire who is prone and if police showed up and put police tape around him would look

dead or alive. This is how it would look if he were dead. And then helpful Beerbelly coach comes out and just sort of steps over the umpires. I could look at that umpire. laying like that photograph. I'm going to maintain that's one of the greatest sports photographs ever taken, the one that is presently on our screen. I think before it used to be

Muhammad Ali was standing over Cash's Clay on the Fifth Street gym. Thank you, Roy, good correction. I thought that this photograph on Miami Beach would never be topped, but I've got it wrong. You put this photograph in front of somebody and ask them, what happened here? What do you think happened here? Nobody's answer is this is the third. third time in one game that that umpire has caught a foul tip and he's quit because he because the cosmos are clearly against it this counts his little league world series coverage yeah the poor pitcher he's kneeling on the mound thinking oh what did i do that's what you do when someone goes down you take a knee what i'm telling you though that i was afraid of as a little league umpire

is exactly what i think happened to that empire on either two or three of the occasion i can't tell It's not the foul tip in the dirt catching the undercarriage, although I was scared of that, too. It's just, I can't trust a nine-year-old catcher to not let that fastball just hit me square. That's not, that's not, are all of those, which of those are foul tips, and which is just the catcher whiffed on catching the ball? I don't think those were all foul tips. I think that's just one bad catcher is making it very difficult to do that job for $12 an hour.

I mean, you heard the aluminum bat, right? On one of them. I heard a foul tip on one of them, but on the second. I was getting the tip every single time. Do you like that one, Roy? That was good. Coach, sauntering down the baseline, all the guys is just honest. No, that body.

Like, you think there'd be a little jog here. No, but it's not. It's Bert Kreischer wandering in with a t-shirt that's too tight, and he's just in control of everything, and he just needs the umpire to get over his whimpering and get back out. there. I rub some dirt on it. Way to stay alive, Brian.

Would you guys do me the favor, please, of putting up on the screen since we are now shaming bodies here, one of the great nicknames now that exists in baseball. I mentioned the other day with Tim Kirchard that I thought that the fat baseball player had gone extinct. And he agreed that the fat baseball player had gone extinct. But Big Sugar, Zach Maxwell, a pitcher for the red. Oh, look at this guy. He's got a belly on him.

And how tall is that person? He is 6-6-7. He is another one of these people who throws 100 miles an hour? That's the best part of it. Not just a hunt, like 102, 103. The kid throws ched. Well, I saw somebody the other day. I hit a home run off 103, 104 mile an hour pitch off of one of these Mason throws.

Somebody hit a home run. Mason Miller. Yeah, I don't even know. I don't even understand how people do that. So this person throws 102 miles an hour? For me, it's the glasses, too. It's the combo of the belly and the glasses that do it for me. If he doesn't have the glasses, it's not the same for me.

He is 6'6, 275 pounds, and hits 102 miles an hour on the radar gun. Wow. Big sugar. And you know what? In the same category, Cal Raleigh just hit his 49th home run. Shubby. Most ever for a catcher in a season. That's a dumper.

Are we doing, we're doing Chubby there? Because I feel like square more than. Shwarber. It's not chubby. It's just thick. Okay, I'll take thick. I think we would all be impressed if he took his shirt off with two C's. Really? You don't think like what do you think he looks like me? Yeah, maybe. No. Take your shirt off. We'll start with him and then we'll work backwards. You believe that he's out of shape? I don't believe. I believe he's out of shape by the pro-athlete standard. For you and I standard, no, I think he's in great shape. But for a pro athlete, I think Cal Raleigh, with all due respect. So he's not a 70-year

old man. Right. That's exactly right. Okay. Yeah. Howdy, folks, it's Mike Ryan, and just in time for football season, I am happy to announce our partners at GameTime are back and look. It's not NFL season without in-demand ticket. There's some big games coming. It's going to be hard to get through that door. Sometimes your only

option is a secondary market. The Game Time app gives the advantage back to fans. It's the hack for unlocking amazing tickets and experiences in a few taps. It's incredibly easy to use. And the Game Time guarantee means you can trust you'll get 100% authentic tickets on time at the best price.

Plus, fees are always included. So what you see is what you pay. I'm an NFL free agent, so I'm always looking for the biggest games, and GameTime makes it so easy to peruse the app and find incredible deals. Like NFL tickets as low as $100. They have incredible features like seat views. You get a panoramic view from your seat in the app before you buy. This is clutch if you're not familiar with the venue.

And their low price guarantee means game time will credit you 110% of the difference if you find a lower price out there. Take the guesswork out of buying NFL tickets with GameTime. Download the GameTime app, create an account, and use code Dan for $20 off your first purchase. Terms apply. Again, create an account

and redeem code D-A-N for $20 off. Swipe, tap, ticket, go. Download the GameTime app today.