The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz - Hour 1: Best Limited Fake (feat. Jessica Smetana)

Episode Date: August 28, 2025

"She said fosters." It's the long awaited return of 'Brit or Nit,' and Chris Cote makes it sexy. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices...

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Starting point is 00:01:16 So the best tapas in town might be in a new town altogether. That's the powerful backing of Amex. Terms and conditions apply. Learn more at mx.ca. slash yamex. This is the Dan Levator show with the Stucats podcast. I don't know how much, Jessica, how often she hears, I've missed your voice, but hearing her at the end of dismissal sneak in there with some genuine rage about Halloween not being spooky enough.
Starting point is 00:01:58 brought me great joy and brought a challenger to what appears to be Billy's category now of dismissal because of how Billy owned the dismissal. Jessica, did you hear any of that? I was listening to it, and my question is, was I okay? You're angry. You were angry at the time. It was Miami traffic. It was understandable because it wasn't also spooky hallways. Yeah, the answer is no, you lived in Miami. It doesn't seem like I was doing well last fall. Yeah. And the Billy, though, dismissal category. did you remember that kind of hostility?
Starting point is 00:02:31 Because Billy doesn't seem, as it regards Europe, like he's doing very well. Jess, was that after the Northern Illinois game? It might have been Northern Illinois Week. Yeah, but I don't think that would have had anything to do with it. I think it was more so because Miami's not spooky. Actually, yeah, now that I think about, oh, Willow just kicked my computer. Did you see that? That was so cute.
Starting point is 00:02:52 Oh, my God. She's just stretching out on the bed. No, I just think it's because Miami wasn't spooky. And it sucked in. I guess after four years, I just, you know, really all hit me. Is the Miami football team spooky this weekend to you as a Notre Dame fan? Spooky? No. I think they're really good, though. I think they have a real shot at winning their opening game. So I would say, as I did on the Kane's Insight, Hurricane show yesterday, why didn't you just call it like Hurricane? Like, why did you make a hurricane? I think it's going to be a good game.
Starting point is 00:03:26 Okay, yeah, I will not do that, actually. I'm good. I did love Billy's dismissal of Europe. That was top tier. I think that's what I would vote for, other than myself, of course. Do you hate Europe as well? My great grandparents certainly did. No.
Starting point is 00:03:48 I'm just confused why everyone's bringing up dead relatives today, honestly. It was disarming. I used to have a best friend. He was John Partridge. He didn't die. He just moved away. I had a best friend, I too, Dan. Chris doesn't have a best friend.
Starting point is 00:04:00 That's a benefit of not having a best friend. Would you rather have a best friend who died or never had a best friend at all? My mom was a drug addict. Great question, Shakespeare. My best friend is like my mom because I don't really have a mom. Jessica, do you have a game we can play? Can we lighten it up around here a little bit? Do you have anything that can lighten up the proceedings at touch?
Starting point is 00:04:22 Yes, I do. I actually have a... I'm bringing back an old classic, Dan. It's called Brit or Knit. Did this rise to the level of classic? It's a classic. People are longing for this. I don't feel like...
Starting point is 00:04:35 Everyone has been texting me and saying, please bring back Brit or Knit. And I thought of the perfect reason for it. And we're going to talk more soccer because, man, you lost to a league two team in the league cup. And the name of the team they lost to is very silly. So I said, let's bring back Brit or Knit. I'm going to give you a few names.
Starting point is 00:04:54 Dan, you're going to talk. tell me Britt. Yes, that is an English soccer team or Knit. That is not an English soccer team. Okay, look, Mike likes this game. Dan's going to be so bad at this. I figured he would. Okay, let's start with this one. Dan, Brit or Knit? Grimsby Town. No, that's not. Are you, well, are you, yeah, I'm going to say that that's too creative to not be a team. So I'm going to say yes.
Starting point is 00:05:21 Britt. That is correct. Grimsby Town is the team that beat, United yesterday. All right. So, but I'm guessing, though, I'm obviously not going to know any of these. Okay, let's go on to the next one. Shepherds Bush. No, that's not a team. Knit. You're right. That is a tube stop. You play the game, right, please. Okay, I'm sorry. Well, I'm playing the game. All right. It's Britter, knit. The rules are pretty simple. It's a classic. All right. My bad. You're right. Actually, you lose on that one because you didn't say knit. Okay. We'll move on to number three.
Starting point is 00:05:52 Atkrington Stanley, Brit or Knit? Knit, that sounds more like a law firm. It is, in fact, an English soccer team. You are incorrect. That is Britt. Cock Foster's Football Club, Dan. Britt or Knit? She said Fosters.
Starting point is 00:06:20 I am going to say, Britt. That is incorrect. Cock Foster is one of the most famous British tube stops because it's cock fosters. Right. People laugh at that. The foster. It's the foster. Right. Okay, we can move on from Britternet, Dan. It doesn't seem like you're doing very well at it. We don't need to move on. Mike is, Mike's enjoying me just sinking into not knowing why it is that we're playing this game. Fosters. It's just a, it's just funny, funny, silly names. Okay, I'll give you one more. Brit or Knit, Tooting Broadway Look at the smile on Chris Cody's face
Starting point is 00:06:57 I'm just like, is he going to say Brit or knit? He's not. He's just going to say no. All right, Brit. False. Incorrect, also a tube stop. So it is Brit, but not in the spirit of the game. Okay. You are really bad at that day. Yeah, you knew I would be. And that's the... Jeremy, what's wrong? Are you okay? It's just amazing. How are you so incapable of saying the right word? There's two words.
Starting point is 00:07:21 Yeah, it's hard to do. Well produced, Chris. You found that. Well done. So a classic is what this game has been. When did we play this game before? I believe it was during the coronation of the King of England that we played Brit Ornett with the members of the coronation party
Starting point is 00:07:42 that were going to attend the coronation. It's a classic. Did we ever play? Like the Duke of Brickle Brackle, I believe was one of them. That was a knit. That's not a real place. Get out of here. Mel Kuiper Jr., turn that music off.
Starting point is 00:07:55 Mel Kiper Jr., let's put this picture up again. Mel Kiper Jr. has said this morning on Get Up while looking very much like the devil that the Ohio State Texas game, quote, 48 years I've been covering college football, never remember a game as anticipated as this one. Can we just add in real quick to how the AP really. really screwed this thing up. I mean, you got to go number one versus number two. Penn State sneaks in at number two, so it's one versus three. Jess, I mean, come on. The AP, get, get you act together. Can I just say that hyperbole is an epidemic right now? There is just, I am excited to
Starting point is 00:08:39 watch this game. I am excited to see Archmanning, do not get me wrong. This is an important game. Texas preseason number one as an underdog on the road to start the season. It's very exciting. I think both teams will be very good this year. However, we can't just say, this is the most highly anticipated football game. Like, we say that about everything and we just need to end the hyperbole. You don't need to try to sell people on Ohio State, Texas. People will watch it. We know it's a big game. I just think that this is the myopia of Kuiper. He gets to see a manning. And so he gets to make an analysis against a champion and start seeing how valuable he gets to start the examination of the thing that he loves to do most because we don't
Starting point is 00:09:20 actually know what archmanning is and he's dying to find out that's why he's doing that because in that respect we can agree right this has never happened before where a guy who's been waiting for two years that we've been talking about talking about talking about who who descends from royalty is going against the defending champion 100% in terms of like being able to see an attraction this is as hype the debut as we could possibly see even though he played some last year but To Jess's point, there were like three Alabama LSU games that happened fairly recently that were all much bigger and called Games of the Century. Right. I think the Manning name we are all obviously very excited to see, but I think if you want to even talk about another game on the same day where you're seeing a potential future first round talent playing against another potential future first round talent just at quarterback, you have LSU and Clemson. So there's just a lot of really good games this weekend. And I don't, I think it is a big game.
Starting point is 00:10:14 saying Mel Kiper's wrong, but I think the Manning name is, is doing a lot there, but there's just, there's a lot of great games. And there always are a lot of great games. That's why it's college, like, cultural ball is great, because there's such a high volume of games happening. I mean, we're going to see Bryce Underwood start this weekend. We're going to see Bill Belichick coach's first college game this weekend. Like, I am honestly, I don't want to spoil my top five list that I have. I am a little bit more excited for that than I think even the Notre Dame game. Wow. He's Bill Belichick in his cutoff shirt will just tickle me, okay?
Starting point is 00:10:44 I'm excited to get to that top five because we were having a discussion, and I might surprise you, as big a Homer as I am for the University of Miami, I would concede that I think Clemson and LSU is a bigger game. They got the Fowler Herbie assignment because of the two quarterbacks because of the fact that they've recently won national titles where Miami's still trying to scrap their way into that conversation. Yeah, that's going to be an exciting one and also one where the loser is going to feel really bad because Clemson last season, you know, they snuck their way into the playoff via the ACC route,
Starting point is 00:11:14 even though they lost to two SEC teams and couldn't beat South Carolina or Georgia last year. So they're going to feel bad if they can't beat LSU, especially because LSU's defense has been an issue, and Clemson feels really good about K Klubnick starting another season and having improved a lot the last two seasons. But LSU hasn't won a season opener with Brian Kelly. So I don't know if he's going to pound on the table again if they lose. I don't know how he's going to top that if they lose. But I think both teams would feel bad if they lost. And also neither would be that impacted because it's a non-conference game.
Starting point is 00:11:48 But I think, like, yeah, feelings, feelings would be hurt. Things would be bad. It doesn't seem like that, though, the way that you described it is there are no real consequences. There are. There are, especially because, like I said, I think for Brian Kelly, like Davo has a lot of job security. It doesn't matter. But Brian Kelly, I think, you know, he won the SEC West a couple of years ago, and he has had tons of talent on his offenses, but he needs to put it together on the other side of the ball.
Starting point is 00:12:18 And so I think that, yeah, I think LSU fans would certainly be upset if they lost to Clemson on Saturday. We'll get to your top five in a second. We'll get to the week one games in a second, but I want to go back to Hawaii and Stanford. And again, I will say, I assume that Andrew Luck will be good at that job, but they lost to Hawaii. in the first game and lost with a kicker who learned how to kick on YouTube. Anything else from that game that you found interesting? Anything else from the games being played other than Avery Johnson's father fighting his other son that you found interesting?
Starting point is 00:12:50 My gimmick. I have two things I want to talk about from last weekend. First thing, we found out this week, Kansas State and Iowa State, the Farmageddon game. Everyone's like, ooh, Farmageddon, that makes me really excited to watch Farmageddon. Wow, love that. Cool, rivalry. Maybe you don't know a lot about Kansas State and Iowa State. tape. You're like, it's called Farmageddon. Apparently the schools told the
Starting point is 00:13:10 SPN do not use the name Farm Again. Like Reese Davis said on his podcast the other day, he's like, yeah, they asked us not to say Farm Again, which is kind of BS because why? Like, are you, are you think it's like offensive? Like, are you embarrassed about the farm part? Farms are cool? I don't know why that would be a no-no. So that's questionable. But also this is- put it on the poll at Lebitard show. Are Farms cool? Because I don't think it's offensive. Like, what's the problem? Why would you be offended by Farming? What is this, a cracker barrel? Yeah, I don't know.
Starting point is 00:13:40 I think it's really strange. And also both teams are in the same conference, but yet the game is not scheduled in conference play in 2027. So that's weird. Like, are they trying to cancel this series? Because they've been playing this series for over 100 years. It's one of the most longstanding rivalries. There's no theory from anybody on why it is.
Starting point is 00:14:00 Like, no, when Reese Davis is saying this, why would they object to the term farmageddon? It's funny and clever. Are we looking down on farms now? I think they're looking down on Armageddon. I just love how Dial Jess is because she's listening to Reese Davis podcast. College Game Day podcast. I think it's like Reese and Pete Thammel.
Starting point is 00:14:19 But I don't, Dan, I don't know. I really don't know. There was like, I saw like some random fan posted this Farmageddon graphic from last year where it was like both mascots on a tractor and then crashing into each other and exploding. And they were like, maybe they want to dial back on like the, you know, violent farm imagery, but that doesn't seem like that can't be it, right? I don't know. I'd love to know. We've got to get Pablo to find out. What was the other game? The Hawaii Stanford game had something in it that you found interesting? Yeah, the Stanford game had a
Starting point is 00:14:51 fifth-year Stanford player transferred from Yale, have a big tackle for loss in the first half against Hawaii, tackled their quarterback, put Hawaii, you know, a little bit out of the end zone, I guess a little bit out of the red zone. So it was a big play. It was a big play. And the Stanford player was like, I'm going to celebrate this by doing a TikTok dance. And he proceeded to do the TikTok dance for probably several seconds longer than is allowed.
Starting point is 00:15:17 And also was very sensual in doing this TikTok dance, which is imitating a fifth grade Indonesian boy dancing on a boat, Dan, which I know you knew, but I figured I would say anyways. I wish we could show people it. Like, describe. Chris Cody actually. Yeah, Chris Cody can do it. Chris, you got it.
Starting point is 00:15:35 And look, and this is not dissemination. Make it sexy. That's how his dad dances. Wait a minute. What was that? Oh, boy. She did tell you. And you immediately did, by the way.
Starting point is 00:15:44 Because the dance was sexy. He made it sexy. And he got penalized and then Hawaii scored on the next play. Ended up being the difference. Yeah, it was a, I mean, it was a three-point game. Hawaii's kicker who, you know, learned how to kick on YouTube videos. He's from Japan and learned how to speak English playing football in Ohio. came in and kicked the game winner.
Starting point is 00:16:04 So I think Stanford's, they're going into the season, I think their wins total was like three and a half. And like, it's tough to find four games on their schedule, especially now that they lost to Hawaii. And I believe their total is going to out gone down to like two and a half, Mike.
Starting point is 00:16:19 You can check me on that, on the sports, on Draft Kings. But, man, it's not looking good for Stanford. This is going to be a tough year for GM Andrew Luck, I think. When Mel Kiper says that Ohio State, Texas, is the most anticipated game in a half a century. I want to ask the group here, what do you guys
Starting point is 00:16:38 believe to be the single most interesting thing from the weekend or if we were trying to do five things from the college football weekend that's upcoming that you have an interest in? The top of the list is one player, not a team. Lee Corso. Yeah. Okay, so
Starting point is 00:16:54 it's Lee Corso over Arch Manning. Willie Simmons debut. Yeah, Lee Corso. I'm excited for the USF Boise State game tonight. It's a great at 5.30. And it's in Tampa. And USF's only a five and a half point underdog, which feels a little low considering Boise State was in the playoffs last year, Dan. He was trappy. They lost Ashton Genty. And then after that, USF has to play Miami and Florida in the next two weeks. So they've got a really tough non-conference schedule. I'm looking forward to seeing what this mess at Ohio
Starting point is 00:17:22 stadium's all about. I've never been there before. I don't see if it's all cracked up to be. Really? You're going to go judge it. You're going to be the judge. You're going to be the judge of whether it's cracked up to be. You know, they're going to top that eye, whatever the hell that means, you know, but I'm going to be there. I'm going to tell you if it's all it's cracked up to be. You sound like you're going in like a cynic. You don't think it's all it's cracked up. Maybe I am. Howdy, folks, it's Mike Ryan, and just in time
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Starting point is 00:20:08 Learn more at landrover.ca. Don Lebertard. You were that kind of sad this morning, taking the barrage of anger from Stugats because you hadn't booked him enough interviews. The only reason I keep bringing this up is because you not are throwing a big party on Thursday. You're doing it, and I want people to support what you're doing, because Stugats has not made this easy.
Starting point is 00:20:31 Stugats. Um, well, you know, I, I, well, yeah, you know. This is the Dan Levitar show with the Stugats. Since we're speaking of the fan experience, Jess, we were playing earlier this week on your own podcast, Echoes, which you do with Mike Golick. And again, I will tell people again that if you want. If you want, like, a diehard coverage of the things that you want that is really informed, you're not going to get a lot better Notre Dame coverage than you are with whatever Jessica and the Gullochs are making. But Ian Book was on your podcast.
Starting point is 00:21:14 And Ian Book, Mike Ryan thinks, you tell me whether we have this accurate, because Mike Ryan says you were trying to talk Ian Book off the position that Hard Rock Stadium is indeed a difficult place to play. So you tell us what's really happening here. Are you trying to talk him off the position? Because Mike thought you were thinking of him while this was happening. And then it was so loud. Couldn't hear anything. And then I remember actually having a pretty good drive when I went in there.
Starting point is 00:21:44 I threw a whole shot to Equanimius, started to drive down the field, thinking we'd maybe get three points or something before half, and then threw a pick six. Welcome to the turnover chain. So that was my experience. But it was hostile. And I remember until we went down to Georgia, it was a loudest place. Honestly, it might be louder than Georgia.
Starting point is 00:22:05 I was like top two loudest places I've ever played in my career. Louder than Michigan? Yeah, yeah. Louder than Michigan. Blacksburg? Yeah, yeah. This is a really good follow-up question because off the top of my head, I remembered two other college football stadiums that Ian played on the road.
Starting point is 00:22:27 And I was like, hey, I should. follow-up and ask him, are you sure? Do you remember the Michigan game that Notre Dame lost by a lot of points? Or do you remember the Virginia Tech game where everyone's like, this is going to be the toughest road environment you ever played in? I thought I was asking good follow-up questions there, but I guess not. I guess I'm a dumb idiot. Whatever. I mean, you said it. There was probably two follow-ups too many. I mean, he said it was even louder than Athens. She's just listening loud things. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I mean, loud places that that specific person played in. But I think, Mike, like, I understand that you're very sensitive about people shitting on hard rock
Starting point is 00:23:00 and that you have to keep bringing up a game from eight years ago to prove that it's a loud stadium and that's like, that's fine. If you can use this as bulletin board material, go right ahead. It doesn't matter to me if that is the loudest stadium, Ian Book Played in. Your face tells a different story. My face is like the same as Gojo's face throughout this entire clip. Whatever. I don't care. If you want to do facial analysis of me, that's fine. Yeah, it totally gave off that you didn't care. I get it. In her defense, Ian Buk was saying something that begged to follow-ups because it's not something a lot of people say or believe. Like that's, it's certainly not the, it's not the reputation that Hard Rock has.
Starting point is 00:23:39 It's a reputation of that 2017 game. Why would I want him to say Michigan's louder? Like, I don't, that's actually a murdering, because it's not Miami. We already established you hate Miami. It's all right. I hate Michigan. Louder than a jet engine. I would never live in Michigan.
Starting point is 00:23:54 Later than when John Cena returned at the Royal Rumble. No, Jess, I totally agree with you. I like Miami more than Michigan. I'll give you that. I totally agree with you, though, Jess. Like, it's pathetic. Who would hang their hat on the 2017 season as if that's something that's still relevant right now? I cannot understand what type of program would do that. Zazel has a problem with the shirt you're wearing.
Starting point is 00:24:14 Zazel came in here. Zazel came in here and whispered. For the 2017 National Championship UCF nights? Zaslo came in here today and whispered under his breath punk move. Balls. balls, Jeremy. We were just talking about this a couple weeks ago, making fun of Auburn, who's claiming national championships from the early 20th century. I mean, I know we all know that 1910 Auburn team was a wagon, all right? But they're claiming
Starting point is 00:24:39 championships. They actually, I did a deep dive into the Zazzo. You could check it out on my TikTok. I went into the four national championships that Auburn claimed. 1910 specifically, I believe that was the year in which they were six and one and lost to Texas on the road. and then the 1914 title they claimed they had a tie against Georgia Tech who was in the SEC at the time and both years there were teams in the Willow just kicked my computer because she's so cute
Starting point is 00:25:04 there were teams that had better records than Auburn that were selected as national champions by like the computers or whatever I'm glad you did a deep dive there because I remember that 1910 team differently Jess that's a good job out of you right there but I'll also say this to you Jeremy as someone who I went to school at UCF I went to UCF
Starting point is 00:25:22 all right I did I start Santa Fe. Okay, don't... Do you like to UCF? I don't know. I thought you went to. Okay. There's a lot of misinformation
Starting point is 00:25:29 being thrown out here and I can settle this real quick. I started my collegiate career at UCF. I was there for a couple years. I transferred to U.F. End of story. Graduated.
Starting point is 00:25:40 Boom. The end. And you went to Santa Fe. Never. If you had a gun to my head and said Zaslo, take me to Santa Fe Community College right now or I pull the trigger,
Starting point is 00:25:51 I'd be dead. I've no idea where it is. I think you'd be lying. How about Blacksburg? How about Michigan? I didn't go to these schools. What's wrong with you? Dan, while you were gone, Auburn woke up one day and just claimed like 14 national
Starting point is 00:26:02 championships across different sports. Oh, can I tell you about the other two? So they also claim 1958, which was the year that LSU won the national championship. And LSU and Auburn were in the same conference, but they didn't play against each other. And LSU was undefeated and beat Clemson in the Sugar Bowl. And they were voted. Number one, this is the AP and coaches poll era. So they won the national championship.
Starting point is 00:26:22 Auburn's claiming that actually we that's that one's ours too that one I don't really understand quite as well I think that there was some you know modern computer that ranked that as them is number one that year so they're just going retroactively claim it which whatever fine but actually I think the 2004 one is pretty interesting Dan which you you I'm sure remember because this was like during our lifetimes Auburn is similar to UCF Jeremy they weren't chosen by the BCS to play in the championship game that was Oklahoma and USC and so they are just like, well, we went undefeated in all our games, so we are just going to claim the national championship because we didn't get a chance to play for the title. So I kind of,
Starting point is 00:26:59 that one, I could get behind a little bit. But then it validates Jeremy, so maybe not. The only 2017 undefeated champion. So what? I mean, it's, the only undefeated team of the country. It's so, it's so lame. We're a national champion shirt. When you did it with Miami Hurricanes then, 2000 national champion. There you go. I gave it to him. But Zazzle, the national championship is like a made-up thing. That's why Auburn is doing this, six titles. The historically in college football, no one played for a national championship until like very modern history. And then everyone voted on it for a really long time. Like you would just, if you were Greg Cody, you'd just be like, I'm voting for Miami. And that's how people
Starting point is 00:27:38 won the national championship. This modern era of national championship obsession is very unique to the very long over 130 year history of the sport. You know what? I'd like to just say that that is why I try to focus on things like Farmageddon and Hawaii and making fun of Stanford and their stupid tree when I can, because they don't get enough attention because everyone's just like, oh, Texas and Ohio State, blah, blah, blah.
Starting point is 00:28:02 You know what? I'm giving the Keynes the O2 Fiesta Bowl, too. That Terry Porter, who's suss as hell. Oh, nice that you had something going on this century in the last 20 years. That game was played. You just don't agree with the result. That's different. Suss. You lost the game. Well, I didn't do anything. You know who didn't lose a game?
Starting point is 00:28:16 You went to Santa Fe. UCF. Crazy. They're hanging on to 2017. We're going to get to Best Team of their own state. We're going to get to Best Limited Fake in a second. And I was hoping to get Jessica's reaction to Greg Cody's insane anger. But we have to get to her top five because we don't have much time left. So let's do this. What is the top five about?
Starting point is 00:28:36 The top five is top five teams. I'm excited to watch that aren't projected to make the playoffs. How about that? Wow, synergy. You guys, I asked you most interesting thing from the weekend. And you gave me a bunch of answers that weren't Belichick or Arch Manning or anything involving the games on Saturday even. We said the game's starting with tonight, Dan. First Frost tonight, Dan.
Starting point is 00:28:56 UCF Jacksonville State. You don't want to see First Frost 2.0, the second first frost? Is it? I got a strong 20 on Alabama FSU. Number five, Jess. I mean, I think Alabama may be a sleeper this year. Number five, Nebraska. So they're playing this weekend at Arrowhead Stadium, which is, okay, is like, Dylan
Starting point is 00:29:17 Royola trying to get a game at Arrowhead Stadium. Like, this is taking it too far. looked into it. This is Cincinnati's home game that they scheduled that Arrowhead. So that is not why they're playing there. They snap their seven-year streak of losing seasons last year. Dana Holgerson is the offensive coordinator. Their defense was really, really good in 2024, but they lost a ton of players. So TBD, how good they really are. But I do think I'm intrigued by Dylan Raola as a talent and to see if he gets any better. And, you know, maybe can pull off an upset or two this year in the big 10. Number four. Number four, South Carolina. Now, some people do consider them
Starting point is 00:29:56 a playoff sleeper. I think that their schedule is very difficult, but I do love Lenora Sellers on their quarterback, and I do love Dylan Stewart, who's an edge rusher on their defense. They did lose a good amount of solid defenders last year to the draft, but also not the best offensive line to add. But Lenora Sellers is very fun to watch. He's one of the most exciting quarterbacks, I think, who's flying a little bit under the radar. going into this season, finish the season really strong last year after being hurt for a few games. So I'm excited to watch South Carolina. Number three. Texas Tech. So much money they've spent a lot of money. We'll see if it works. I mean, it's the Big 12. The margin between the top
Starting point is 00:30:37 six teams is pretty small. So maybe it will. Maybe they'll be a playoff team after all, but either way, I'm excited to see how it all comes together. Number two, Vanderbilt. Really? yours. Dan Diego Pavia is back for another season. He had to do some like little court action to get back on the field for this year. And they've got a really great tight end. And I just, I love Clark Lee, their head coach. He's a phenomenal coach. And so will they be bowl eligible for the second season in a row? I don't know. But I would love to see them make a splash in the SEC and maybe have a couple more upsets this year. At the very least, beat he freeze again. And finally, number one. North Carolina. What happened, Chris? You forgot? He was looking for the splash. I mean, Dan, here is, like, the generous case for North Carolina. They play some of the worst ACC teams this year.
Starting point is 00:31:31 They play Stanford, Wake, Cal. I love Cal. No, I love Cal. No disrespect to Cal. I'm part of the Cal-Garhythm family. But their ACC schedule is not that difficult. I don't know if they're going to beat TCU. But then they go on to play, like, Richmond and Charlotte for their next two games. So I think it could be a fun. season for old Billy B.
Starting point is 00:31:50 On Monday, I will tell you that's Labor Day. Mike, why are you and Billy laughing the way that you're laughing? Because Chris is just screaming. There it is. There it is. Chris was screaming for 20 seconds. Where is it? Jessica, we will talk to you on Monday as part of our Labor Day offerings after Miami
Starting point is 00:32:09 Notre Dame. Good talking to you. Good seeing you. Nice hearing your voice again. Please leave my face up back there. My makeup looks really good in that. Thank you. Yes, you are welcome.
Starting point is 00:32:17 I did it myself. A programming note on Monday Labor Day we will give you some limited offerings even though we're off off of Miami, Notre Dame and the college football weekend. And I'm here throughout the football season on Fridays.
Starting point is 00:32:32 Every Friday throughout the football season, I will be here. All the Fridays. I'm going all the Fridays as many as I can do. That includes tomorrow. That would include. That begins tomorrow. Dan, it's not just college football that we've got to recap. Someone at the MLS offices thought it would be a really smart idea
Starting point is 00:32:45 to have the Leagues Cup final at the exact same time. It's Miami, Notre Dame. Hit pause on whatever you're listening to and hit play on your next adventure. Stay three nights this summer at Best Western and get $50 off a future stay. Life's the trip. Make the most of it at Best Western. Visit
Starting point is 00:33:01 bestwestern.com for complete terms and conditions. It's Rona Week. Now until Wednesday. You hear that? That's the sound of your summer getting a second life. It's the sound of a Rona pressure washer at only 9999. It's
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Starting point is 00:33:45 at participating restaurants in Canada. Don Lebatard. Smart. Stugats. More sports. This is the Dan Lebatar show with the Stugats. Limited fake is one of the suey categories. How much do we have here, Chris?
Starting point is 00:34:05 Is this a big category or a small category? This is about 10 minutes. I like it. This is a strong one. 10 minutes of limited fakes? And now the suey nominees for Best Limited Fake. Roy Bellamy, Limited Fake Flanagan's voice. Flanigans.
Starting point is 00:34:27 That's good. Roy, you're really good at that. Roy. Thank you. Flanigans. Tony Colladio, Limited fake Nikola Iokic, carrying the nuggets on his shoulders. John Morrow's. Aaron Gordon, God, make a shot.
Starting point is 00:34:41 Michael Porter, Jr., your shoulder! I'm on my shoulders! Oh, God, Westbrook! Hermann-Elhassen and Chris Cody Limited fake Patrick Mahomes. Jujo, I'm trying to do my home's voice, and I, not quite. Come on, man.
Starting point is 00:35:02 It's a little, Krimit the Frog. Krimit the Frog about, like, but I've been smoking a couple of cigarettes. We'd be French, Juju. Yeah. Mike Ryan, limited fake medieval accent. The contest of last Eve was most enthralling. Yeah, that'd get really annoying.
Starting point is 00:35:17 The Knights of New York did battle against their foes with great vigor. That is much more annoying than a fire. Yet the defense is faulted as their castle walls were laid siege by the most fearsome force from Thailand. I'd rather have this than my wife. Arr. Yeah, I feel like the scriptures. Oh, their archers off true of aim did misfire. Greg Cody, limited fake John Fasenda.
Starting point is 00:35:37 The Frozen Tundra. Not helpful. So, uh, let's play for the people. That was my John Fascenda voice. The frozen turn less helpful. Mike Ryan, limited fake Jonathan Zaslow. Oh, that's a player. He's a hell of a farmer.
Starting point is 00:35:52 He might be hit. This is a boy. Come around. This is your boy. Don't talk bad about Pat Riley. I'll take Duran at 50. He'll make that shot until he's 66. Amino Hessan, limited fake Jack Nicholson.
Starting point is 00:36:04 Every single act that I do goes like this and I'm Jack Nicholson and I don't actually have to do anything else but do this thing right here. And I do my eyebrows and then I die in a rat. comes around and all of a sudden we win an Oscar. Hank Azaria, limited fake Jack Nicholson. What'd you want him to go all Jack Nicholson on you and sit there with his sunglasses on, not giving a shit? I mean, what's the guy supposed to do, God damn it.
Starting point is 00:36:28 Andrew Hawkins, limited fake Michael Irvin. You're going to let him come in your house and tell you your beat that you made in six minutes isn't good enough. We can't stand for it. Stand up for yourself, Jeremy. We're losing ready. That's a piece.
Starting point is 00:36:45 Jason Benetti, limited fake Jim Rome. White smoke, 445. Possible black smoke. Later on, Jim Lampley is here Friday. Welcome to The Jungle. This is the premier radio network. Chris Cody, limited fake Mike Breen's bang. He's got a good bang.
Starting point is 00:37:05 Bang! Bang! There you go. That was back now. That was good. The pain has to be a part of it. Bang! Mien El Heson, Limited Fakes Stephen A. Smith.
Starting point is 00:37:16 Now, here's the thing that Leverthard. I know that the scoreboard already says, I've won this thing. But if you mean to tell me I'm afraid of Andrew Hawkins, I will put my reputation on the line, and I will say this. Winner take all for this last. Greg Cody, limited fake Joe Biden as the werewolf of Scranton.
Starting point is 00:37:36 I'm the werewolf of Scranton. Andrew Hawkins and Aminel Hessan, limited fake Cameron and Mace. And that's crazy. That's crazy. Usually the moderator lobs it up for some. That's crazy. And you're your first time hosting a show?
Starting point is 00:37:52 He's not Molly Care him. He's murder. This man. He's Folly Care him. Come on, yo. What is he doing? That's crazy. He's Molly not caring.
Starting point is 00:38:04 You met. He's like Bill O'Reilly. He looks like a flat Bill O'Reilly. Let's try to. He's a mean al-sassan. Let's try this again. I'm a mean assassin. Yo, Dan, he's the man.
Starting point is 00:38:17 He's a mean old bastard. Chris Cody, limited fake Danny DeVito as the penguin. I love when the penguin goes to like the holiday party. He's just like, eh. Ooh, good impression. Nobody thinks it's weird that he looks like that. I know. It's just like...
Starting point is 00:38:33 Yeah, he runs for mayor. Awful movie. In terms of things not holding up, I remember, okay, member, okay? I mean, Rudy Giuliani looked the way that he did. Amin L. Heson, limited fake John Taffer. You're using your bare hands!
Starting point is 00:38:50 What are you doing? You cross-contamity anyway, you're going to kill somebody. Mike Ryan, limited fake RFK Jr. Red Foods are killing us, by the way. I do want to get to your... Yes, I think it's a little too political. I love polio. This I'm here for.
Starting point is 00:39:11 He's got LaPolio. La Polio. Amino Heson, limited fake Don Kang. I'm often confused with the one and only Don King. We are very different individuals. I promise you that. He says only in America, I say strictly in the United States. And I'm here to promulgate the indefatigable, pugilistic showdown
Starting point is 00:39:35 between the dastedly delicious Draymond Green. Yes. And the rudimentary Rudy Gaubert. It's a showdown in Minnesota. Jonathan Zaslow, limited fake Al Pacino in Carlito's way. You think you're big time? But you're going to die. Big time.
Starting point is 00:39:58 Amin El Heson, limited fake Tom Hardy. See, Kev, me and the arrogance. We've got a problem, ain't it? Billy Gill and Mike Ryan, limited fake David Beckham. Did he talk like this and say push? Yes, he did, Billy. He was strange. His voice doesn't quite much.
Starting point is 00:40:15 Tell the truth. Mike Ryan, limited fake Tom Brokaw. Terrible news. There's. There you go. I'm from the greatest generation. Diana Rusini, limited fake Diana Rusini's mom. Mom, just can be breaking news, breaking news.
Starting point is 00:40:35 What happened? What happened? Should I tell your father? Are you on the fan? Are you on the fan right now? Did Mike Greenberg call you yet? Are you ever going to go back to ESPN? People think it's so weird you're a writer now.
Starting point is 00:40:48 All those years on TV, all those years, and now you're right? Who reads that? Why did you take a job at the Atlantic? Mom, I work at the athletic. What? You're on YouTube? Daddy says you're doing a live show on the draft. Is it Channel 7?
Starting point is 00:41:07 You know, those girls on eyewitness news, they look good. They're mothers. They look good, though. Amino Heson, limited fake pirate chat GPT recap of Heat Game. Our matey, gather around for a tale of the Heat Clippers Showdown. The Miami Heat sailed into the battle against the Los Angeles Clippers, bringing fire on the court. The clash be fierce with both sides giving it their all. The heat fired cannons from beyond the arc, but the Clippers weren't about to be left.
Starting point is 00:41:37 in Davy Jones' locker. He's really a good pirate. The game was tight with both teams exchange and blows, like a mighty storm at sea. In the end, twas the heat who came out victorious outlasting the clippers with clutch shots
Starting point is 00:41:53 and solid defense. Bang. Billy Gill, limited fake Shaggy. Miss the level. Love a level. Chris Cody and Mike Ryan limited fake Dan big-timing Dominique. I say, what up, Dan? didn't even turn your neck.
Starting point is 00:42:09 You just, you shot me with the chuck me the deuses. You got more rolling. Like, damn, who do you think you are? I just didn't know it was you. I just thought somebody was shouting my name. Oh, another day driving to work. Someone's shouting my name. Hey, what's up?
Starting point is 00:42:21 How's it going? This is a big time writer, just like me. I'm an ally, bu, blah, blah. Yep, that's what you do. That kind of thing. No, that's what I do. That's you, Dan. I'm an, I'm an ally.
Starting point is 00:42:37 I have the best to have the impression of the day. I'm in that life. Greg Cody, limited fake alien from Scranton. I am an alien from Scranton. I'm an alien. Um, alien it. There are aliens all over the United States.
Starting point is 00:42:56 I wanted to make clear that I'm an alien from Scranton. Amin L. Heson, limited fake Barack Obama. Let me be clear. When I heard the news that Stephen A. Smith, decided he should run for office. I said that's a great American. Now, some folks across the aisle don't like that. They want Skip Bayliss to be the nominee.
Starting point is 00:43:16 But I told my family, Sasha, Michelle, Malia. Charlie Kravitz, limited fake Dan Lebuttard. Put me next to you at your darkest moment, Mr. Uber driver. No, Dominique, it's a cartel. And Bobcraft not getting anyone to hire Bill Belichicks, that's some ginkster. These gladiator games They're feeding the church of football The Cathedral
Starting point is 00:43:42 Dan Lebitard limited fake Nikola Yokic I just want horse Tim Kirchen Limited fake Ed Helms in the hangover Look at me I married a hooker
Starting point is 00:43:54 I got no front teeth Greg Cody and Chris Cody Limited fake Joe Biden Send her on the kitchen table in Scranton My dad said Joey Someday you could be vice president Not bad.
Starting point is 00:44:09 Try it without the mask. Come on. Give it a world. Another kitchen table and scranton. All he's got is scrant. That's all he's got. It is all he's got. You're so right there is.
Starting point is 00:44:27 We got it. Do I go anywhere else? He's got Scranton. Mike Ryan and Chris Cody, limited fake chorus of Adam Sandler's. I do believe, yes, we will do that. We will do that. I hate that voice so much.
Starting point is 00:44:46 He does an amazing job. That's really good. Oh, do you hate that impression? Oh, my God. It's also really good. So bad. A chorus of Adam Sandler's. The impression is so bad.
Starting point is 00:44:59 Hey, ho-hoo. Dab-dap-p-de-doo. What? Stop looking at me, Swan. Conditioner is better. I leave the hair still. Looky and smooth. Unknown listeners limited fake Steve from Sex and the City.
Starting point is 00:45:13 Miranda? Yeah. Steve. Nice. Give it to Steve. I'm an ally. Howdy folks? It's Mike Ryan.
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Starting point is 00:45:49 It's incredibly easy to use. And the Game Time guarantee means you can trust you'll get 100% authentic tickets on time at the best price. Plus, fees are always included. So what you see is what you pay. I'm an NFL free agent, so I'm always looking for the biggest games. And GameTime makes it so easy to peruse the app and find incredible deals. NFL tickets as low as $100. They have incredible features like seat views.
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