The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz - Hour 1: Condiment For Your Life + Timothy Burke

Episode Date: July 26, 2023

The crew asks if one condiment was taken away forever - which would it be. Plus, there are a bunch of NBA free agents still waiting to sign but Chris Cote is mesmerized by Mountain Dew Hotdogs. Also, journalist Tim Burke who was raided by the FBI joins the show. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

You're listening to Giraffe King's Network. This is the Dunlabor Tarshall with this Tougat's podcast. It isn't G-League, it's not even a G-League of soccer, it's really, really, really. To be honest. It's easy mode in FIFA. I, yes, exactly. I walked into my room last night and the building across the way is like top to bottom. Welcome messy and it's a big thing. I'm like, I'm over it.

I'm over it. I'm not ready for your soccer takes, it's not. No, I'm so. It's not late enough. That's right, that's right, you're not ready. You're not ready. We're familiar. It's not. No, it's not late enough. That's right. That's right. You're not ready. You're not ready. We're familiar with your work in this regard.

Mountain Dew is making a hot dog. Oh, no. How are they making a hot dog? Thanks for the glizzy. This is how we're starting this segment. And I, I, hot dog, as much as googling that. As tempting as I find your soccer observations, I mean, I'm not going to take

it just yet. I am, my interest has peaked in the Mountain Dew Hot Dog. Let's make sure the internet isn't tricking us. While we gather information on that, I do want to ask a me and a basketball question. I noticed that in the MBA, I hadn't recently gotten an alert on a free agent signing. And to my knowledge, there's still quite a few free agents out there. And I think this all related to the Damien Lillard saga. At what point? Because there are a lot of big names still available. Christian Wood, headlining a class. We've seen Gorn Drogge, it's essentially admit to, yeah, I'm coming to Miami, just things need to work out.

A lot of TJ Warren is out there. A lot of important pieces to these contenders that are looking to add death and what not at what point do the trailblazers and the rest of the league the teams offering packages to the trailblazers by me heat at what point does a pressure become too immense from other agents in the industry is from other players from other teams to make this deal because i I mean, we're getting close to training camp. We're not really close to training camp.

The unofficial start of activity is the typical day. Labor day, the Tuesday after the Labor Day guys come back into their facilities and they start playing in formal. We're about a month away. A month, we have a whole month and then even then, once you hit labor day, there's a month away from camp at that point. And then there's camp, and then there's preseason. And so we've got time, really. Ideally, ideally everyone wants everything done

by opening a camp. That's like, once, if you get it done like in the middle preseason, that's when it starts to be less than ideal. Obviously you like having who you have, but you want everyone in there. But all of this stuff is based on exactly what you're talking about. They're all in a holding pattern.

They're waiting. Now, some of these guys are just unsigned because they're trying to see where everything. I saw Sorge sign and he was one of those that waited out for two weeks. It seemed as though like I'm just going to make my move. Yep. Here, how many of these guys are going to get too frustrated?

All these available free agents say have their offers. They're sitting on these offers, trying to decide where they go. My question to you, and it seems as though you kind of answered it, is training camp is when they'll be pressured. But there's a log jam here, a free agent. And we're, I'm not going to say this is without president because there have been franchises kind of, their spin on is being held hostage by a superstar. But are you suggesting, Mike, that there is some obligation that I'm asking if a star

has to rest of his union brethren, right? Who are looking for a place to dock. I am not suggesting that. I am asking if that is a thing. If the teams, the players, their agents, if there is mounting pressure with all the parties involved to get this deal done, Damien Lillard to anywhere, not even specifically Miami. But this raises one of the most fascinating things to me about all of these stories we're

talking about in which players are trying to figure out how to reject the contract they are being offered or they exist underneath. This was Sequan Barkley. This is Damien Lillard. How do you make enough of a mess such that your employer does not want you? Everything about the runway crowded with jets waiting to take off, waiting for Damien Lillard's plane to a light upon somewhere, hinges on whether Damien Lillard can actually do the

thing. I mean, can he do the thing that no one believes he can, which is behave so shamelessly that he is a villain that they don't want around? It's what makes James Hardin so great at this. Yes. He truly doesn't care. He has no interest in his public. 100%

Image being something that like, I'm a good guy, whatever like, I'm a good guy. Whatever. And Dave is a good guy. He is the paragon for professionalism. This is when we talk about, this is what I want my franchise player to be like. We point to Damien Lillard in terms of his approach, his leadership and all that. And Harden is like, yeah, I don't care.

I'm going to wear a fat suit. I'm going to wear a fat suit. We're pretty sure as an actual fat suit. No, that James Harden, all of the critiques we've levied against him in this show already, his plausible use of mess has been so, I mean, that's player empowerment. That is what it means. He has unilaterally imposed upon employers. You don't want me here when I say you don't want me here.

I said this years ago when Jimmy Butler was going through what he went through in Minnesota, I said that's the difference between the NBA and the NFL. In the NFL, say one Barclay wants out, what did you do? He holds out, he doesn't show up. And then gives in at the very last second, this week, yesterday, for just a little bit more money because actually he wants to save some face

because he's a guy who threatened to hold out, but instead actually was just giving crumbs relative because the NFL teams have all the power. Right, but we've seen it in the, let me on Bell, sat up a whole year, right? Like on this because in the NFL, that's how you get your power and your leverage. Say, all right, then I won't show up. And it didn't work out for Lavy on Bell. No, it didn't. In fact, he's like a questioner.

Yeah, but that means point, yes, like actually withdrawing services in the NFL, that's how you do it. Because it's so taboo. Yes, they're like, oh my God, in the NBA, it's the opposite. You show up, you show up, and you're shit everywhere. And that's what Jimmy Butler did. He's like, I'm not showing up, I'm not showing up.

First day of camp shows up up and then just like, absolutely annihilates everything and then takes a big dump and then goes and does an interview with Rachel. Well, Tim's also had, it was culpable in that. No, in all of these situations, I'd be recoverable, but I'm just saying to you, like in the NBA, if you want out, you don't sit out, you don't hold out, you show up and you make everybody really uncomfortable.

Yes, Anthony Davis, you start wearing passive aggressive t-shirts. That's all folks. To signal I am going to not just infuriate my employers, I'm gonna antagonize the fan base so that the pressure on the employers is in the direction that I want it to go. And the coverage of that was different than even this Damien Lillard thing. And I think everyone agrees that Damien Lillard is handling this different, has even by playing a Will

Smith song on his IG that was uncharacteristic. That's his version of making a man. And that's what's so funny is that nobody believes that he has the plausible threat that James Harden and Anthony Davis have had because that's his version of stepping out alive. Damien Lillard is like, do you remember the Simpson's episode where Flanders goes to Vegas with Homer? And it's like, come on, live a little, have a drink. He's like, I'll have a white wine spritzer, spritzer, spritzer. Like, that's what Damien Lillard did when he played that.

Like, he's like, I'm going out of control. Crazy. Will Smith, Miami, which could not be more of a toothless song in a way. So the conversation splintered a little bit, but I am genuinely curious. And the question that I asked you initially, which is is their mounting pressure?

The hotdog is fake. It was very clearly fake. Yeah. I mean, if believing this picture, the whole song right, I don't want to get it. How do the mountain do hotdog even work? Look at it. If believing this picture is wrong, I don't want to be right.

It's so obviously Photoshop. There's a watermark on it. I'm going to be code right now. Now, hold on. That's actually the color of real hot dogs that exist. That's right. Right, hot. Thank you.

We had hot dogs and hamburgers on the 4th of July and we bought an extra pack of hot dogs and I don't want to eat them and I don't know what to do with them. I have left over unsealed dogs. I don't want to just make hot dogs for dinner. The first of all. Not on the 4th of July. Girl dinner. Doesn't, it's true.

Does anyone want them? First of all, I don't have kids either. I'm not going to have them into a little octopus and put it mac and cheese. They do have the thing that happens where hot dogs come in a certain number in a pack, but the buns never come on a bun. Yeah, and it's just like,

Oh, if that's collusion. That is, wait, there's eight packs of both now. No. There are zero eight pack hot dogs. No, the weeners are, there's always six weeners and eight buns or something like that. Six buns and eight weeners.

Yeah. And then you always have like six people over. So you're like, Six buns and eight weeners. And then you always have like six people over. So you're like, should I get eight weeners? And then there's two extra weeners. And maybe four people will want seconds and not only just two people. And then you're like, oh, we should just buy two packs to be safe.

But then when you make the first pack and everyone's like, oh, I'm full, you know, end up making the second. You didn't even finish the first pack, yeah. Is there a bread that goes from amazing to totally useless abs and it's meat like a hot dog bun? I don't want that hot dog bun for any goddamn thing. Oh, there's a hamburger bun.

It's worse than a hamburger bun. No, because if you get potato rolls for the hamburger bun, those are great sandwich buns. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're like folding over cheese weirdly and sticking into a hot dog bun, eating that like a fake hot dog. I'm with you, you got to make croutons out of it

or something and like who has the energy for that? He's not even talking about when they get stale. He's talking about even in its freshest version, if there's no hot dog in that bun, useless. Stupid bun. Eustlus, it is useless. You cannot use it as bread for anything else. Also, a way to get rid of the,

the inordinate amount of hot dog versus buns, what you do is you hit them with a double glizzy, right? So you put two glizzies in one. No, those bun you smack that. That is actually not terrible, but we were making Chicago dogs. So there's not room for the Chicago dog toppings with the double glizzy. Also, the, the, the, the depends on the quality of bun. And weiner. I mean, you can't make it, like, a little mini-hokey

with those hot dogs. No, too small. You guys, you guys are, you guys can't hold mini-hokey. It can hold or not. That is a rollercoaster. It balls apart. Slow down, it hurts. Everybody's gotta get creative.

It's right. Everybody slow down, slow down. I think there's a fundamental misunderstanding that's happening here. Roy, Tony, you guys tell me like these gourmet, like nice buns that are damn near French rolls. I'm talking about me and Pablo talking about the bun, the one that comes with the dollar

white bun. The exact French roll. The 200 pack from Costco. That's what we're talking about. Cost was not Martins though. I am just seeking an answer to my question. What was the question? The hot dogs not real.

No, that was also not a sandwich. Is there actually mounting pressure from other teams? And never you know what never mind. It wasn't that interesting. I was trying to get it. I don't know. You're the league at your host of oddball. Is it? It's really wild there. Is is there mounting pressure? My friend. What? I mean, what Mike is what Mike is asking, what Mike is asking is whether the league is mad at Damien Lillard such that there is pressure being felt for this timeline to accelerate. Is the league meaning everyone in the NBA or the league has in the league office?

How would they be mad at Damien Lillard? Sorry, the play is mad at the heat. They could be mad at Damien Lillard for not doing the thing that Amina and I said, which is if you're going to do this, do it. I guess that. They could be mad at the place. Or maybe a little bit for not doing the thing that I mean, and I said, if you're gonna do this, do it. I guess that's why he's not without playing here. He's got to make a mess. He's got to make a mess. I should be a job.

Real talk. Real talk. Or you advise someone how to be an A-hole. So to get out of a contract. I did this job. There's a job for a mean I'll ask. I did it for Gorn Droggech. When Gorn was in Phoenix, I'm unhappy,

and he was just a Gorn. They keep looking at you. They say, oh, we'll find a deal for you. We'll do something for you, but they know you're a good guy. They know you're a professional. They know you're not gonna rock the boat. So they're just gonna keep pushing along. You kind of have to make a mess.

And Gorn's like, I don't want to do that. Like, you know, he's a good guy. I'm like, you got to have to. So then he has like the famous media availability where he's like, I don't want to be here anymore. You're saying that was you? That was my advice. I didn't give him the words, but I told him,

you want to get out of this, you got to make a mess because that's the NBA way. Is he getting hit up by Christian Wood right now? Like, let's go. Christian Wood Wood, you would do something like that. What a woodpecker. Christian Wood. Chuck. Don Lebatard. Risk reward of going into the woods by yourself. You die or you see some trees. I'm not going to die to go see some trees. Still got this. Listen to me. You've seen one tree. You've seen them all. Okay. There's no special tree. That's not true.

That is not true. That is not true. I like it. I don't feel like a true one. I don't feel like a true one. I don't feel like a true one. I don't feel like a true one. I don't feel like a true one. I don't feel like a true one. I don't feel like a true one. I don't feel like a true one. I don't feel like a true one.

I don't feel like a true one. I don't feel like a true one. I don't feel like a true one. I don't feel like a true one. I don't feel like a true one. I don't feel like a true one. I don't feel like a true one. I don't feel like a true one.

I don't feel like a true one. I don't feel like a true one. I don't feel like a true one. I don't feel like a true one. I don't feel like a true one. I don't feel like a true one. I don't feel like a true one. I don't you. Just I wanted to I wanted something I said to be tasting mustard. I just wanted something to be accurate. I said today there are mustard flavored skittles. They love this free advertiser and they look terrible. They made these so that people would be like, oh my god. And then we'd all be like, you know what I need to buy later? Skittles. New mustard.

Oh, wait. Separately though separately though, okay combining this with like Marketing I mean but spicy around these get all to be interested. These are what I'd these on mustard skittles I try it's like a trader Joe's snack They always combine weird things and flavors and to be honest some of them are really good some of them are terrible If you could get rid of one condiment we always play play the game. What's your favorite if you could it? The world no longer has this condiment. I'm good with mustard. I don't need relish No, I don't need relish. I don't need relish. What do you put on what do you put on a hot dog? I do put do you put ketchup? I'm a ketchup and mustard. I'm a ketchup and mustard. If you can only have one you're going

I just I don't know hot dogs so me. It's just I do you don't like hot dogs. So for me, it's just, I do, you don't like hot dogs? I don't love hot dogs, no. You what's wrong with you guys? Definitely burger of it. All day. If there's burgers and dogs being cooked, I'm getting one of these. And maybe too, with you. I will say ketchup on a burger is better

than ketchup on a hot dog and more socially acceptable. ketchup on a hot dog is like sacrilegious where I'm from. But then the other place that I'm from is not. Where are you from? I'm from four different places. Um, I think I go. Yes are you from? Where are you from? Where are you from? She's from four different places. Um, I think. I don't know.

I don't know. I think you slip it in there. It's probably from the hot. Amongst the cacophony of voices, but Mayo is the only right answer. Nobody needs Mayo. I know, that's false. I really, I really am.

I have a moment with Mani's this summer. I've been making Mani's tomato sandwiches. Oh, it's so good. Seasonal tomatoes. You speak of them. That's the list. not very bad at that. It's basically a BLT without bacon. You just eat it.

Exactly, more lettuce. I love BLTs. BLTs are like, that's my favorite sandwich. So you talk tomato. Red with real tomato. You have to have mayonnaise on it. Yes, essentially. You have a fresh summer ripe tomato.

It is the most flavorful juicy. I love tomatoes. Meaty, delicious. Youful juicy meaty, delicious thing on the planet. You got me a tomato. You got me a crisp crisp. There you go. Piece of toast. Yes, okay. I'm with you.

You're a little mayonnaise. It's not a lot. You don't need a lot. But the big juicy slice of tomato. I don't like when a turkey. I don't like when they call it a turkey BLT. It's just a turkey sandwich. That's a turkey sandwich, yeah.

I love BLTs. I ate so many BLTs on vacation. I was putting down a BLT a minute. But there are substitutes for mayonnaise. Mayonnaise is essentially a sandwich lubricant. What is a substitute for mayonnaise? Olive oil. Yeah, olive oil, an olive oil tomato sandwich

would be really good too. I would eat mayonnaise. I like olive oil. Olive oil. A little bit sour. Yeah, olive oil, an olive oil tomato sandwich would be really good too. I would eat that like olive oil. Or avocado. My father- Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, That is nature's mayo. Yeah. They won't let that one go without a little fairhole reacting. Hell yeah. The answer is mayonnaise. I'm not doing away with mustard. Oh, there's mayo.

I gave it to barbecue sauce before mayo. Oh, that's what they're doing. I knew Roy would like. This is all their conversation. These are all my metal stands. Barba sauce and mayonnaise are both on the red. You can get barbecue like, but this is what they're talking about. These are on my medal stand. Barbecue sauce and mayonnaise are both on my- Barbecue sauce without getting rid of ketchup

because ketchup is fun to me. We're not talking about barbecues sauce or anything with, with, it's like a spice or a seasoning in it. Like, cause hot sauce for me is a necessity. I need either sriracha, a little, the Trader Joe's Perry Parry Sauce. Oh, Perry Parry Sauce.

Oh my God. For my sister. I'm feeling fancy when I'm feeling very fancy. David Chang's, Momofuco. Oh, the chili criss, oh, Jenna good. For my sister. I'm feeling fancy. When I'm feeling very fancy, David Chang's Momofuco. Oh, the chili crust. Oh, the chili crust. Holy shit. I.G. adds all things with us. And that with us.

And it is worth every penny. I make the famous cucumber salad, like once every three days. Is it famous? It's famous in my house, because I make so much. The public said the right answer here. Tahini also, no brainer for me. I could never live without Tahini. I would drink it out of here. I would it so much. Pablo said the right answer here. Tahini also, no brainer for me. I could never live without Tahini. Oh, come on.

I would drink it out of here. I'd get off that. Get it out of here. Scoop it with a spoon and drink it. I actually used to do that when I was living in New York and I was like, I don't have time to cook, nor do I know how, nor do I even know where to buy groceries because I'm an idiot.

I would just get those like rice crackers from a bodega, a little thing of Tahini, put the Tahini on the rice cracker, sprinkle some salt on it. Mm-hmm. Best stewed little snack out of it. You don't get the go-mah. Yes, you do. If relish is a condominant, that's the end.

No, no, no, that's the right answer. Thank you, Chris. No, no. I'm partial of relish. I thought, yeah, that's pictures. I thought it was a top double base to get out of here. You know, water is a sweet relish. You may like pickles.

Ten of your is from relish. I can guarantee you I don't. Ten out of yours from now on. I can guarantee you I don't. Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on. Quite fancy that might be. Because I detect my hypocrisy meter is going up. Me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, on hot dogs. That's it. That's the only time I've taken that pickle man. That's it. That sounds like hypocrisy. You say whatever you want. You were very anti pickle, anti cucumber for years. Yes. And now all of a sudden, you top it up a little finally and put some

sugar in it and noise like it's okay. Well, I hate cucumbers. You never find me. I know you do. I don't know. Bad news, that old relish is, I understand what relish is, God damn it. I'm getting rid of grape jelly. Breakfast kind of. No. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, noabi economy? Yes, yes, get that out of here. Get that one life. How do you eat sushi? That's face-off.

That was so big. No, no. All of those are also big. There is also real wasabi. The stuff that you get at a lot of places is fake because that ginger gets that, they're all over-sratish. I hate that piece of sushi that's the closest to the ginger and those sobby.

You're crazy. You're a big ginger. Ginger's a yellow cleanser. Do you get cream you're a big ginger. You palate cleanser. Do you get cream cheese sushi? Of course, thank you. Of course, gratitude. Hold on, Pablo, repeat for the heathens in the back. Ginger is a palate cleanser.

Yes. When you're going from fish to fish, you take a little ginger, you cleanse the palate, and now your mouth is ready for some new fish. You know what's a palate cleanser? Water. No, it's not. No, it's not.

It's not objective. No, you don't even do that for wine. They weren't against that. TH balance. Yeah. For a man. I read a book about Somalia's ones. If you're training to be like Somalia and the training is rigorous.

You can't brush your teeth. You can't drink water. You can't eat anything., you can't drink water, you can't eat anything. These people have the nastiest teeth I'm assuming. They just wake up and they're like, all right, time to drink wine at like 8 a.m. They can't eat anything beforehand.

Is that just for the training or is that life for them? I think that's life. Like if you are the best at it and you're going to be drinking wine, there's like a million things that can screw up your palate. But my question is, if I'm a person at a restaurant, I have brushed my teeth. So I want to know what the wine tastes like

to the person drinking it at my restaurant. Maybe it tastes great to you with your nasty breath. But the people eating at the restaurant are like, I just had a sip of water and this wine's a little off. It's like not washing the cast iron pan. Yeah, the thousand year walk. Yeah, you ever heard of that? Yeah. The thousand year walk. Yeah, yeah, we heard of that. Yeah, the thousand year

walk. The idea is that in fact, the the unique flavor, much like this show, the unique flavor of a thousand year walk is the encrusted layers, almost like layers of the earth, the stuff that gets built and left by the residue of other things that have come through this same walk. Thousand year walk, me getting to my car, I drove pink stadium. I was thinking of a similar joke. Damn, you've been heading to it. Yeah, wasabi is fake because to get actual real wasabi, it's really difficult. It needs to be like 90% covered occasional sunlight and it has to be filtered through constant running water.

So the spicy wasabi that you're used to at your traditional sushi joint is horseradish mainly. It's like 90% of what I have a jar of wasabi powder in my pantry and you mix it with water and it creates a paste. I'm pretty sure that's real wasabi and now I'm second guessing it. Chris is reacting to wasabi like a person who once ate wasabi without knowing what was Sabi was you guys are going with was like you happen to make a man getting rid of male and you're keeping with I'm just I can't even

Facts with man is is great. I have to see America's I like it damn right I like I like the palette plans with the ginger. I like the wasabi opening up my nasal past. That's what that ginger. It's looking me. It's like we get it. You're a nice. I'm with Pablo and that the answer has to be male and this is nothing against male. I happen to. I love male. I'm fine. Was it mean that's a male? I said male. But also three Americans. I do have a question for Chris. Chris, do you eat sushi with a knife and fork? No.

I eat chopsticks. He's a handgun. I'll go chop some. He's a handgun. He's a handgun. But you know me, I got the big sour cream. I'm doing some heavy sushi here. I think he's just doing a vacuum thing.

Sour cream. I mean, please, you have to have my back. He's doing it. Like a cartoucare. You don't even have to lean forward. I just go, are you doing my back. Like a car to carry any have to lean forward into good. Are you dipping sushi and crunch? The the the the feeling of Philadelphia role. Oh, got it. It's just like what I'm doing by assuing mayonnaise is there's several San

alternative sandwich lubricants that one can go to that can replicate this sensation of moving up your sandwich with mayo, be it olive oil, hell, if a ranch tickles your fancy, you can do that. There are other avocado, there are other things that you can do to replace what you're getting with mayo. Question, does mayo cease to become a condiment when it becomes an ingredient?

So for instance, is mayo out if you're making like potato salad. Egg salad. Egg salad. Like that, that point's not a condiment. So forever. It's not a condiment. You can't use, no, you can't use Mayo. No, we're getting ready for condiments. We're not getting ready for it. It's gone. It doesn't exist anymore. It's gone, but you can use eggs. What's the shot for your life equivalent of like us murdering a condiment? Mayo. Yeah. Yeah. No, no.

Murder Mayo. Yes, you do. I think what'sabi is excellent. You're just not doing it right. I think that if you asked me before the summer, I would have heard mayonnaise. But I've fallen in love with mayonnaise this summer. And I've also found that I'm doing the thing

that they do in Europe where I'm not dipping my french fries in ketchup anymore. Yeah, I'm hungry. So hungry. In either mayonnaise or I last week, I was drinking tartar sauce by the pint. I've been there in the last week. I love it.

I've been there in the last week. I've been there in the last week. I've been there in the last week. I've been there in the last week. I've been there in the last week. I've been there in the last week. I've been there in the last week. I've been there in the last week.

I've been there in the last week. I've been there in the last week. I've been there in the last week. I've been there in the last week. I've been there in the last week. I've been there in the last week. I've been there in the last week. You could only draft a color of sauce. White is obviously the answer. You get tartar, garlic, salon, mayo, you get that. Oh no, red, right? I think red, because you get all the spicy one. Like hot sauce, you like it. Like hot sauce. I'm going to get. I need the pari-pari sauce.

White, all day. I can't live without pari-pari. I get soy sauce, I get vinegar, I get- What color is- What color is pari-pari sauce? Like a ruby orange. It's like neon orange. Yeah, like, is that-

Is that- Is that- I think it's on the red spectrum. Yeah. Orange is the common-, like, is that, is that, is that counten red or does that, is that counten red? I think it's on the red spectrum. Yeah. Orange is the common. We'll claim it, Perry, Perry, over on TV. I got it. Murder sour cream.

We don't need it. Okay. I need sour cream. Oh, it's not. I can't. I can't get up hard with that. We can. We can.

We can. We can. Wait, is sour cream the unanimous? If I keep it, I'll give it sour cream. No, wait, it's not the unanimous. You, what, you're going to fight a sour cream? Sour cream has done a great job since they were hired. And I don't think they get enough credit.

Don Lebatard. The mustard mixes with mayonnaise better than ketchup does. What? What? Yes. No. What you've just said is appalling. What you've just said is an offense to anyone

who's ever eaten stugots. ketchup. Oh my god. I don't like it on anything. But what? Catch up? You're on American. VCC Don Lebertar Show with this two gods.

So a mean you might remember after Fox News fired Tucker Carlson, that this website media matters for America. Media matters began publishing these behind-the-scenes videos That it called its Fox leaks quote-unquote and in those videos Tucker Carlson was talking about people who use gender pronouns in their Twitter bio You talked about how those people shouldn't be working at Fox News. He asked a female makeup artist if quote Hello fights ever break out and quote in the bathroom. He said the Fox nation streaming site It's Fox nation streaming site, important project.

He said that it quote sucks. And that it looked like quote unquote, brod talk. And so this led to this internal investigation. A Fox News internal investigation into a potential leak. And this month, what we learned is that the US government told Fox News that the network might actually have been hacked. And so it turns out that the FBI took upon this mission and they wound up searching someone that I kind of know

over the internet that people in sports media know over the internet because they searched the home of Timothy Burke. And Tim is a journalist and a claim journalist who used to work for deadspins, Daily Beast. You remember him, Mantaiteo, Dr. Bennery, stuff? Yeah. The federal government confiscated his phone, to work for Deadspin, Daily Beast. You remember him, Mantaiteo, Dr. Bennery stuff. The federal government confiscated his phone,

confiscated his computers, more than 100 terabytes of data. He used to post all of these videos that fueled the highlight real industrial complex on Twitter and his life, his entire career, have been at a standstill ever since. And his lawyers have been arguing that Tim was just doing his job by looking for in fact this anti-Semitic interview that took across and did with Kanye West that one yeah and what we have here today

is Tim Burke joining us exclusively for his very first interview since this seizure so Tim thank you for joining us oh absolutely Pablo I'm just really happy to be with you here today. So all of this started with Kanye. Where are we starting this story? How does that lead us to you talking us about the federal government raiding your house? Well, frankly, the story with me starts on May 8th at 6 in the morning on a Monday morning when I get woken up by banging on my door and I, you know, the dog, we have our foster dog and she's, you know, barking her head off and I'd go out there and it's all flashlights and guns pointed at me and people screaming in my name. And, you know, I go out there and

they say they've got us search warrant. I'm sorry, that's a pretty rude awakening in a literal and figurative sense. I'm sorry to cut you all too. They had guns drawn. What did they expect coming into your house? What was going to happen? I mean, I don't know. I assume that that's just the standard practice for doing a search warrant, I suppose. But they cleared the house. They got woke my wife up and took her out and we took the dog out and sat on the lawn. Eventually eventually they, you know, showed us this search warrant that had been approved by a judge magistrate. And, you know, I'm not a lawyer, but I'm very fortunate to have, you know, attorneys in our orbit, somebody who, you know, we just finished like a week and a half before this happened,

a very long political campaign for my wife, who's a Tampa City Council member. And along the way, one of her supporters just happened to be a local ACLU attorney. And so we got in touch with him and he went and explained that, okay, well, this is the federal hacking statute and this is a federal wiretapping statute.

And I said, well, I really have no idea what this is about. I'm not a hacker. I've never done any hacking. And I certainly don't do any wiretapping. And that's, you know, that's where that all kind of started. He recommended a local attorney to me, Michael Maddox, and Michael has done an incredible job of advocating for me and trying to sort through what this is all about.

Because the reality is, you know, we have a search warrant incredible job of advocating for me and trying to sort through what this is all about because the reality is, you know, we have a search warrant that refers to a couple of federal statues, but the the affidavit that led to this search warrant, the affidavit is still sealed. It's been more than two months and it's still sealed. We don't know what this is all about. And we've made numerous attempts to get that evidence sealed. And they are keeping it quiet. And why would they do that? Tim, Tim, I just want to be very clear with the audience here.

The stakes here are your freedom ostensibly. It's your company. It's your family. All of these things are on the line because the federal government has identified you as a suspect who is alleged to have hacked fox news and and this cognate thing that i led with it was the video in which tucker is interviewing him and there are parts in it

that tucker did not air in the final form that went out to Fox News' audience. And so the question about these videos, all of the ones you've discussed, is then did someone at Fox leak these to you? You're saying you did not hack Fox News to get these videos? They did not want to release. How did you get them? Well, that, you know, I'm not in a position to specifically admit that I have or had had at any point.

But what I can tell you, Pablo, is that my whole journalism career has been about finding things that powerful people would prefer not be public. And that goes back to the video of the fight between the Georgetown basketball team and Chinese team back in 2011, that goes to uncovering that the Heisman trophy finalists girlfriend never existed to that Sinclair broadcast group ordered its anchors to read a scary script about things being extremely dangerous to our democracy

and having them all read that sort of terrifying script out loud and to everything else. All the way up to recent work I did for the local tabloid where I talked about the Tampa Bay Lightning's radio affiliate is broadcasting anti-vaccination propaganda and that led to them. They're no longer on that station. So when it comes to something like the Kanye West or Ye, I guess he's going by. We're talking about an interview where he revealed

a number of extremely anti-Semitic and sexist statements that when the interview was broadcast on Fox News, I guess later that night, those all of those statements were mysteriously missing from their broadcast. And sometime later, Vice published those clips and the best understanding that I have again, I don't have access to the app, David, but the understanding that we have is that the federal government Department of Justice believes that I was responsible for acquiring

and distributing those clips. And what I've done in my journalism career and now with what the news organizations that I work with, I work with a lot of news startups, regional news organizations is I seek out and find live broadcasts of newsworthy events on the internet that are broadcast in the clear without any encryption, without any authentication, because the whole goal is for me to be able to share access to these semi-permanent live feeds for local news organizations to be able to monitor themselves for news, whether

it's something in the Midwest and they're following politicians from Wisconsin or Illinois or whether it's a broader national level and they're trying to put a focus on municipal governments or county commissions. Whatever they are, I'm compiling a long and large list and organizing it of all of the locations of these public broadcasts. And so newsworthy things happen on those public broadcasts. And it's not hacking to access a publicly available website that anybody, you, me, anybody else can access. And it seems to be, I would leave it up to my lawyers to really clarify.

It seems to be that the federal government it up to my lawyers to really clarify, but it seems to be that the federal government is trying to take a position that accessing publicly available websites is some form of hacking. Timothy, is it, to the best of your knowledge, is it illegal to possess these videos? I'm not really in a position to comment on that. I don't know, right? I don't know because our understanding of what these laws are. And I'm very fortunate. One of my attorneys is Mark Rash. He founded the Cybercrime Division at the Department of Justice, and he's now representing me from his home in Maryland. He helped draft some of these laws that are attempting to be applied here. And we've done exhaustive research to see if anything that I'm alleged to have done has

ever been a subject or that anybody's ever attempted to prosecute anyone based on this interpretation of the law, and we can't find it. It's a little baffling to all of us about what this case really seems to be, and the fact that, you know, it's been more than two months. They haven't actually charged me with a crime. They haven't unsealed the affidavit that led to this search warrant. And the reality is, I'm a journalist. My newsroom has been shut down.

My ability to work with other journalists has been taken. Well, that's him. This is the question of vocabulary that runs through your story. The question of vocabulary surrounding what is hacking and what is journalism. When you say you have a newsroom, your definition of a newsroom is, is a modern definition, right? And so this defense that you have about your work being journalistic work, it does raise the question for me of aren't you afforded certain rights as a journalist? Like the idea that the government comes in at gunpoint and seizes a newsroom

begs the question of whether the government believes that your house, where you run your business, is their definition of a newsroom. Well, Pablo, it's interesting because just a few years ago, the government passed Auckland the Privacy Protection Act, that was intended to protect journalists from investigation and interference in their newsrooms by the federal government law enforcement apparatus. This came after a bit of a scandal in 2014 when under President Obama, the Department of Justice was seen to be allegedly spying on journalists and everything else. And there are very specific procedures that are supposed to be followed

whenever the Department of Justice initiates some kind of investigation into a journalist. And we have asked for evidence that these procedures were followed. We haven't really received any of it. And in fact, as is noted in the letter from my attorney to the prosecutor, the prosecutor asked them what it is that I do for a living. And I think, I have whatever, 116,000 some Twitter followers, all of whom I think could tell you that I've been a journalist and have worked as a journalist since 2011.

Yes. And, you know, it's like, what does this guy do? I'm a journalist. I operate in newsroom. I just a few, I mean, one of the very last tweets that I had before my phone was seized and I went 75 days without being able to get on Twitter was a video of the Oakland A's, you know, Kuiper, you know, saying what sounded like a racial slur on air and that eventually led to him being fired. That's the very essence of journalism in the year 2023. It's what I've been doing for a long time. It's no secret. I'm

very open and public about when my accomplishments, I'm proud of them. And that, you know, some sort of weird interpretation that that doesn't qualify as journalism. And I'm not saying anybody's making that argument, but if they, if they were, I would say that there's a whole lot of people who would disagree with that. So one more question for you, Tim, is simply whether it feels to you like Fox News has outsourced its internal investigation to the FBI. Like there seems to be some shared interest here and you happen to be the shared target. What does it feel like to you is the guy whose house was rated, whose freedom is on the line as Fox News is getting the benefits of an FBI investigation into whether Tucker Carlson's

video got leaked or hacked. Well again, Pablo, I mean, there's lots of definitions of journalism. I've always preferred the one that says that journalism is the act of making public what the powerful would prefer remain private. I've taken on lots of powerful people and powerful organizations. I mean, Notre Dame football is one of the biggest ones that exists. And, you know, I worked at Gawker for eight years. You make some enemies along the way. And I've just been comfortable with understanding

that I was targeted by Donald Trump Jr. because I made fun of, I could then singing Sweet Caroline at the National Championship game or something. I've brought this, I say I've brought this upon myself, this comes with the territory. And so, I don't know what actual procedures happen to lead to 20-zomb FBI agents showing up at my house

on Monday morning. I hope that we learn those very soon. But, look, let's be honest, Fox News is in a bit of a crisis. They just had to pay out like three quarters of a billion dollars to Dominion. Smartmatic is next in line with their defamation suit. They've got a long string of sexual harassment suits that they got to deal with. So, you know, this is sort of a, So, you know, this is sort of a, you know, you got the injured bear and, you know, we'll find out eventually, but you would hope that the federal government and its policies and procedures that we have put in place to protect people who are engaging in the first amendment

like me. You would hope that those things, you know things would supersede the ability of a corporation to try to exact revenge on somebody who's embarrassed it. And eventually we'll find out the truth if that's really the case of what happened, or if it's something else. But the reality is, I'm just anxious to get back to work. I have partners in journalism who are seeking my help and my advice. And I want to get back out there doing the things that I've been doing on Twitter for more than 15 years

of presenting breaking news and alerting people to what's happening in their communities. That's what I want to get back to. And I hope, and I know that eventually, Coolger heads are going to prevail in this. People are going to realize what this is about, and I'm going to get my stuff back. And maybe an apology, an apology would be nice, I think. Tim, a quick question for you, your phone. How does that, when they take the phone, do you just go to the Apple store and get another phone and download your stuff from the iCloud and just continue using it as usual? Do you get a new number?

You missed a lot, Tim, also. Yeah, as your phone has been seized for 75 days. Yeah, but like what, as soon as the seizures happen, the feds have left, I don't have a phone. What's the procedure from there for you? Do you go to get a new phone and then just redownload everything from the cloud or do you have to get a new line or how does that work? Well, that's actually a very interesting question. I didn't go out and buy a new iPhone for two reasons.

One, I don't know and didn't know how long I was going to be without all of my stuff. But also, being somebody who I think is a little privacy oriented, but perhaps not enough, just in the circumstances, I don't use the cloud to back up my iPhone. I do local backups. So even if I bought a new iPhone, I wouldn't be able to restore it from anything. So I ended up going out and buying a $99 Android on-locked phone and calling up my provider and having them transfer the number over. And so at least I had my phone number back, but I don't have any of my contacts. I've been doing new phone who disk for two months.

Wow. And I don't, you know, and some people, you know, if they have an iPhone and they've been iPhone, you know, I messaged in with me, the blue, the blue bubble, the blue bubbles aren't going to me. They're going to where my equipment is. It's only if people have green bubble. It's still active.

Hold on. It's still active? Like, they're still receiving your messages. if people have dreams all along. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no My neighbor has sent me like pictures of this fence project that we're trying to do three or four times. I've never gotten. Tim, I just have to say on all the things that you have experienced FBI investigation, gunpoint raid, being relegated to the world of the green bubble is pretty up there. So Timber, Timberclegalfund.org, that's B-U-'s b u r k e you can check out

what he needs what he'd like from from this audience as he tries to get back on his feet timber thank you so much for joining us thank you pop up i really appreciate you giving me this time also mean thank you that's all right that