The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz - Hour 1: David Samson's Buttocks

Episode Date: June 29, 2023

Brockmire is here and is flabbergasted to be doing the show without Dan and Stu, but don't worry, David Samson's buttocks is here. He discusses the potential of a Damian Lillard trade, why the Blazers owners have kind-hearted souls, how baseball has gotten better, Elly De La Cruz, and more. Then, Steve Cohen held a press conference, and David feels he's been vindicated by what he had to say. Plus, malaria in Florida and soaking. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

You're listening to Giraffe King's Network. This is the Dunlabel Tarshall with the Stugat's Podcast. We are welcoming back Brockmeyer. Quite excited that he is here. Hello. Thank you, David. Boy, that was a quick intro. Usually I'm used to Dan whining at me,

that I'm drunk, which by the way, even for me, I'm a little more than usual today. And usually he winds at me about being drunk and not giving them a podcast. So you threw me there with that quick intro. Well, Dan's not here today. Well, great. Okay.

Always a pleasure to be back on the Dan Levitard show was to go where is Dan? Is he in the bathroom or something? Because I imagine it Dan's age and health level that his prostate is about the size of a compact European sedan. So, you know, I'm guessing that is number one. It's probably take about as long as it's number two's these days. Either way, either way, he's definitely sitting down. So yeah, Dan, take a load off.

You deserve the rest. I can, I can wait. He's not, but you're saying he's not there at all. Like he's, he's like not in the studio. He is nowhere in my view. Well, what does that mean? You lost track of him? It's a narrow view. Great.

Okay. So you guys are a well-ordered machine there, huh? All right. So Danzeewall, I'll just kind of talk to Stu Gotts. But before I do, let me turn down the brightness here in my computer monitor, because I'd rather not witness the damage that a week of following the grateful dead around can do to a to a man's already sunken eyes and his gray skin tone. If you gots has gone full-gallum, I gotta wear some kind of protective

blindfold or something. I am sorry to tell you that still gots shockingly is not here either. Are you kidding me? Are you speaking serious? You gots is not there either? This is the Dan Levitard show with Stugots. And so there's no Dan Levitard or two goths today. Great. I got what's your name again, sir? David, David Samson as in Samson and Delilah.

They threw you out there? Never heard that one. Well, what am I? Oh, excuse me. Was that just a little trite for you? I didn't come up with something clever enough. I'm just trying to get your name right because I don't know who the heck you are. I mean, I feel like I showed up to Yankee Stadium

to watch a little league game. Did the good people at Draft Kings know about this? Do they know that they're paying good money for the JV squad to get in some reps here today? And I just thought of a better question. Why am I here? If mom and dad are gone, why am I being forced to sit at the kids table with David Samson and Delilah? I can actually assure you, Brockmeyer, that I am perfectly fine handling the show. Okay, David, excuse me. Point well taken, but I mean no disrespect now. But you can't handle shit, sir. Okay? Because I've seen clips, excuse me, circulating online

and Mike, sure, what was that walking you around on a leash while you're begging him for his telephone number? Good God. And just to head you right off at the past, no, can't have my number either. If I ever get curious about how you and your friends poised in baseball and Florida so thoroughly that the Marlins can't even draw 8,000 people to watch a 400 hitter, I'll just look that up on your Wikipedia page, okay? Should we right under the controversy heading? Righting you the picture of Mike sure bending over his knee

and spanking you what I imagine is your hairy ass until it's red. Good gosh, David, I'm sorry, David Samson, that might have come off a little disrespectful, but for me, it's not. That's just throat clearing. I just, I have to get that stuff out of my system before I can really get going. So don't worry, I did not mean all of that. It was a little bit mean.

I did mean most of it, but I did not mean all of that. It was a little bit mean. I did mean most of it But I didn't mean all of it. So Anyway, I'm so glad I'm drinking today. What would you like to talk about David? That people know very well that my ass is not hairy. What? People know that well What do you know? What do they call that only fans? What do you want our only fans with you with your buttocks? NBA What do they call that only fans what do you want our only fans with you with your buttocks? NBA David Samson's buttocks what we want to talk about it's beginning Friday

Brock Meyer what predictions see the neck brace a neck brace for the transition there so David David Samson's but To NBA free agency got it. Okay. What would you like to know about the NBA free agency David Samson's buttocks? I want to know who's going where? Well, I only have one prediction. It's hard to say, right? That prediction is that Damian Lillard is not going to come to Miami, no matter how much everybody down there at the Metal Arc Media Studio might wish that he was.

No, I'm sorry to be anti-Santa Claus or whatever, but the most likely scenario is that he just stays put because Damon, the trailblazer's organization have a sit-and-enzy level of co-dependence over there. The only way it appears they're going to band on each other is through a player slash organization murder slash suicide. But if Lillard is traded, I believe he'll go to the Brooklyn Nets. Because there are a picks and players is far, far better for a rebuilding timeline than anything the heat can offer. Now, I know what fans are saying down there and I don't totally disagree with it.

But what if what if Miami is deemed preferred destination? What if that's where the guy wants to go? Well, to that, I would remind them that Lillard, unlike Bradley Beale, fascinatingly, does not get to choose his destination through a no-trade clause, which means that the only way you can come to Miami is through the altruism of the Portland owners, just the sheer charity, charity by them at the expense of their own bottom line. Now, David Samson's buttocks, I know, I know about your belief in the good-hearted nature of the billionaire class.

You've been very clear about that. That billionaire succeed because of their brilliant minds and their gentle souls, but personally, I never had a taste for blatant bootlicking, so my belief swings wildly in the opposite direction. So to settle this disagreement as objectively as possible, I want to be fair to you, okay? You and all the people, not only fans who just love your buttocks, let's turn over to Google, okay? Let's look at Google here. Let's see your own to Trailblazers. That's the first thing. I know that Paul Allen, the co-founder of Microsoft Microsoft used to own them. So let's see,

which new bootstrapped American genius is in charge of the team these days? Got it. His sister Judy, and her top advisor is Paul Allen's college roommate, boy, a nepotister and a nepotormous sign. But I listen, I am sure they are just a couple of gentle, sweet hearts. Nope, hold up on that one, David's buttocks flagged on the play. Because I'm really an article of accusations of, and I'm quoting now, toxic workplace, harassment of bodyguards, amazingly, and wow, huh, a refusal to speak with Damien

Lillard or his camp. Now who woulda thunk it? Gee, I guess, wow. I gotta take a minute because I guess America isn't a meritocracy. And that maybe billionaires only care about the accumulation of assets and power at the expensive humanity. So no, I don't think Portland is just gonna drop off Damien Lillard on my Amier's doorstep holding out a nice bottle of wine out of the goodness of their hearts. I don't think that.

Well, if you don't think that, what other teams are you looking at this weekend? Well, you're a good sport. I got to say that, David. I'm just like, I'm just ramroddened you and you're just, you're just asking me polite questions. I got to admire your professional demeanor. I really do. And your haircut. You're looking good What did you ask me? What was it? I'm just so taken with you. What'd you say? I am so distracted by your brilliance that I need to know What other teams should we be looking out for is NBA free agency starts this weekend? Oh, all right

Sacramento Sacramento. They seem poised to me to make a move Oh, all right. Sacramento Sacramento. They seem poised to me to make a move as many have pointed out, but because of all the contenders They're the only team with huge amounts of cap space, right? But pardon me, Sazorak come back up on me. Excuse me, but much like insults about you, I have to get that out or I can't go on and everything I'm reading The keep matching and I'm quoting this, a Sacramento tax, you heard about that, which is like adding another 20% on top of a free agent's tab, just to get them to want to move to Sacramento. I mean, that's got to be disheartening to those King fans living in Sacramento. I mean, sometimes it must feel like the entirety of NBA fandom is just laughing at them. And that's because they are, David.

And that laughter is deafening. But you know, at least the people of Sacktown can console themselves with the fact that they do not live in Oklahoma City. That's right. I'm circling back to that. There's no such thing as an O.K.C. free agency tax because no NBA player would ever choose to go there of his own volition. The only way the thunder can even feel the team these days is to accumulate enough draft

picks there by forcing teenagers, young men, into indentured servitude. A contract that can last up to seven years, seven years, seven in OKC, a driving three-hour drive to Dallas just to have some fun. Seven years of pretending, oh, you know, that Indian restaurant, that wasn't that bad. Seven years of convincing yourself, hey, this zoo, this is the best zoo in the state. No, thank you. Keep your millions of dollars. I'd much rather get the Sacramento tax. Again, I apologize to anybody in OKC, catching these trays. I wish there was some wave. I wish, you know, what these trays. I wish there was some way. I wish you know what Oklahoma people, I wish there was some way for you to control my

constant shots. But unfortunately, Oklahoma is an open carry state. So I can just keep firing. I can just keep firing in SoSatcha till I'm unafraid of living there, which will be exactly never. Thank you, Brock Mar. Oh, you're so welcome. I. Oh, I know. I'm touched at your view of Oklahoma and of you thinking that that's what we should be watching.

It's a lot of basketball for Rock Mar today. There's so much baseball that I love all sports. And I love, I love doing Samson. I mean, I'm just very inspiring today by David's sort of, it's like a madman vibe coming off you, David. Can I convince you to talk baseball at some point? Because there's a lot that's going on in that sport that is meaningful to me. Of course. I know you're a baseball man and as a My and I'm excited. That's why they tell stensibly why they bring me here to talk baseball But now I'm obsessed with my own madman observation. There's somebody in that cast you remind me of. It's definitely not Don Draper.

I can't figure out which one, which one of them are you? I think you're the guy who got the girl pregnant and they totally dropped that storyline for reasons I don't understand. I don't understand. Pete Campbell. Yeah, Pete, thank you. Oh, is that nerdy Lord of the Rings lady?

Oh, is she. Yeah. Ah, is that nerdy? Lord of the Rings lady? I see. Nice to hear from you again. So you watch all shows, not just nerd out over the sci-fi. I nerd out over madmen too. Yeah, well, me too. I'm right with you there. Got very good taste in there, surrounded by the the freaks. Anyway, we're talking baseball. Oh my gosh. Okay. It's the best thing that we can talk to you about because of all of the story lines, the revolver around Miami.

There are several, you know, I mentioned one, which is you ruining the whole deal down there. But the first of all, the rules, the new rules, right? You'll agree, working with flying color. I mean, we are not used to things getting better in America, but I'm telling you, with baseball is true this year. The games are consistently under three hours. They feature speed, just speed all over the field,

which means we've reached soccer levels of entertainment now. I mean, we even have new rules for extra innings, which seem like random bullshit, but just like the extra time in soccer, right? So you hear that soccer? Baseball is now, once again, excuse me, America's third favorite sport. Number three with a bullet, baby. Bullet that will never, ever, ever come close to number two.

But still a very exciting time. I mean, we had a perfect game last night, only 24 of those out there granted against the A's. So it's got to come with some kind of asterisk. But you know, things are getting exciting everywhere. Real athletes, real ones are playing the game again. These are not your daddy's John Crux. Spit in tobacco on carpets, a green asterotor. I'm talking about honest to God, physical freaks like Ellie did a cruise six foot five inch rookie shortstop Cincinnati already the fastest player in the game. He hits Oppo tacos as if they were pop flies 21 years old. He is single-handedly lifted the reds from the depths of the standings all the way to first place and unlike in Miami.

They're packing the stadium there for the first time in a year's. It's the greatest thing to happen since an ad since they added spaghetti noodles to chili for some unbelievably horrific reason. But there is a better athlete in the game. We know who that is. Stop me if you heard it before, kids. Shohei O'Tani, my goodness, this week, two homerunsy hit struck out 10 guys in the same game. It's insane.

God, I get crazy talking about him. This should be what everybody in America is talking about. Not Trump waving around, she quit documents, or not Biden sundowning. I mean, because this is something unprecedented. This is like something holy in an already sacred game. Networks should be interrupting regularly scheduled programming for every single and bad of this guy cultured form praying to the back of Shohei Otani's baseball card. You know what? David maybe people compare him to Babe Ruth, right? To me, no comparison. Otani is far far superior, right? You heard me right. I saw JJ Reddick Barry Bob Koozy dead in the ditch. I'm gonna do him one better.

Babe Ruth overrated. Whoa, over balloon man with hot dog scraps and gin. Building them up who took a running start at baseball, practice fastballs in a segregated league. I mean, for his era, great pitcher and a great hitter, but he never did both at the same time. Like, Shohei Otani does every single week, every week Otani blesses us with a blah blah blah. I gotta take it. I get a little worked up. Otani blesses us every week with a reinvention of the eternal. It's amazing.

And he's going to be a whole lot richer than Babe Ruth ever was in one season. Amen. Amen. How about that Tampa Bay's entire payroll isn't as much as what Verlander gets for a season? Is that right? It's about right.

That's not right. It's almost right. It's close to right, but the real issue around these teams is they're spending a lot of money and they're not getting anything for it the max the podres and they look at the reds or the marlins and they say you know what we don't have to spend and waste all this money they're going to see what they do with otani what else do you want a plug here before we got to go well see where otani goes.

It is going to be for a lot of money. And I think he will deliver wherever he goes. But plug, I got nothing else to plug, nothing for me. I do remain upset with Dan for abandoning me. So I would like, you know what I'm gonna plug, I'm gonna plug Dan Levittard's email address, which is, you don't know, this is fine. Relax, it's Dan the man Levitard, that's all one word, at aol.com.

You heard that right, aol.com. The man runs a startup for Christ's sake, and he just pollutes the inboxes of his employees with that fill. I mean, you think a green bubble in the group chat is annoying. Just wait until you see Dan Lebertard barf up memories of the old 56 K dial up right in your inbox, embarrassing, powerful. Feel free to email Dan and tell him so. Dan the man lebertard a.o.l.com.

Let him know. Thank you, Brock Meyer, for not giving out his cell phone, so this is not all of our last days in the studio. Hola. Alguien me escucha. Necesito ayuda. Estoy en Barcelona. Y las criaturas están por todas partes. Si me escuchas, al guay, es blu, que al guay,

escuchéis lo que escuchéis. Tapados los ojos. La calle vamos todos a cieras, pero lo más aterradores Listen to what you hear, and stop the eyes. We take all the dirt here, but the closest to the earth is not to know what to trust. Watch the people who ask you to watch, if you want to follow the path. Birdbox Barcelona, a foreign Netflix 14th of July. You dare to know. Done, levatard! We like to call this one a chorus of Owen Wilson, ready?

Stugats! Wow! Wow! Wow! Wow! Wow! Wow! This is the Don Levertars show with the Stugats!

The New York meds will have to decide what their plan is because their current plan has not worked at all. They brought in Steve Cohn, he bought the team, Mets fans rejoiced, Sue Godds can't name a player, the payroll is out of this orbit. They can't win a game and Steve Cohn called himself a press conference on Twitter. He called to himself, he sat down and did it, and then he did something that you're never supposed to do. He acknowledged and admitted that David Samson was right. Also, David Samson is fine.

Yeah. For his phone going off. That was a critical, critical thing. That's 50. Since dollars, that's $50. That's $. Yeah. Since dollars, dollars, dollars, dollars. That's $50. $50, yeah. You actually have to buy us all lunch.

Wow. That too, yeah. Well, that's in addition to the $50. That's two lunches, actually. And don't you think about expensing it? No pork, either. Yeah, even though it's a piggy bank right there. I will buy you all lunch.

And if your phone goes off again, you have to refill the piggy bank with all the fine bucket money that was stolen. Yes. Is that also an unwritten rule? Also, you have to apologize for the blue chase trade. No. But Danny Etch-Vari is still in the game. Take your word for it. You've heard of him.

I'll take a salmon wrap from Piorvita. There's a food haul like a second of the day. Seven minutes. It's a lot, but I'm tight. It's tight. Yeah. It's a food haul like a second of the day. Seven minutes. It's a lot, but it's tight. It's tight. Yeah. It's a sensory overload.

Kinda feels like a little fiddler. So that's what it's supposed to feel like. No, but it's tight food. And also don't wear a skirt on the second floor. Or on the stairs. Where are the rules of the fines posted? Yeah. Because I haven't seen normally in a place of work

there needs to be posted in the lunch room, in the lunch area, in the fines posted. Yeah. Because I haven't seen normally in a place of work, there needs to be posted in the lunch room, in the lunch area, there have to be certain rules protecting employees. This nerd. Where he wants it. It's there, it's on the door, ladies and gentlemen. Unwritten. There is. They're outside the locker room.

No, no, no, they're. Unwritten rules? The rules are in the kitchen. Rules are in the kitchen. So where did it say about the finding for the phone? In the kitchen. I have not seen say about the finding for the phone in the kitchen? I have not seen that because it's a kitchen of pork. It's laminated. It's inside the fridge. It's always inside the fridge, but the fridge is made out of pork. Yeah. So I'm happy to buy lunch, but I'm not happy to pay the fine. So, okay, just try how about this? Just put your phone on vibrate then.

I think the settlement for lunch and no fun. That's what I'm offering. Yeah. Okay. That is my last and final offer. Okay, okay. Didn't go through. Steve Cohen, you say.

Steve Cohen lies the met, supposed to change everything. Causes his own press conference. And then says something that basically was to me. pitching is really expensive I think that's the reason why we're spending as much as we are. you know position players we have young players coming up I think that's going to over time help from a payroll perspective and yeah listen I mean I you know I don't think it's sustainable in a long term, I mean, just losing the

type of money that I'm losing. It's a lot to ask, okay? And frankly, we'll figure that out as we go, but I certainly have the wherewithal to do it, and there's this question how long how much money are you losing Well bigger than a bread basket I'll tell you I'll tell you the thing The biggest bread basket ever Conversation over with Mike that is Steve Cohn with no reason to perpetuating the lie that you help fuel You know why would that go? Why would, what's in it for Steve Cohen

to carry on this con that all the owners agreed? Guys are making money hand over fish. But my account makes it look like I'm losing money. So that's what I tell you guys. I'll tell you more back there though. Steve Cohen gets does a press conference where he doesn't fire anyone. He said he's not gonna fire anyone this year,

but what he also said is what he said from the beginning. I've got three to five years to get a world series, built the payroll up, which is the amount of time you get to depreciate most of the assets that you buy when you buy a baseball team, five years, and then all of a sudden he can't write the checks that he's writing now, because it's, they're getting even bigger.

Then he'll just sell the team and make an immense profit. The last time I bought a baseball team, I got to see a good six years out of it. Yeah. Yeah. I'm the anomaly that they talk. I'm the end of the bell curve. You added 20% depreciation, which is very smart to do, but only in certain asset classes. You got to make sure you get that right. You also have to consider he owns a baseball team in a city that really hates baseball does not support their sports teams, awful sports town and it's really never going to work with them and they're very lackluster affinity

towards the baseball teams. I don't know how they got to. And they'll always struggle to find a broadcast deal. Yeah. I believe there was a time when they had more than two. They're down to two, which is hard to imagine. They might be down to one soon. Yeah, of all the C-Coin can't make a buck here. You guys hear the Shreefport Mets? Or they drafted a new location for a stadium down there. Steve Cone in order to make ends meet

has decided to try to get rid of instead of players to get better. He wants to get rid of the chop shops, which are around city field and put a casino in. Wow. You won't make any money from that. Well, there's no money in casinos. The meds won't make any money from that.

That is for sure because teams. But it's okay, he can just write off these losses against that. Against those for sure because teams. But it's okay, he can just write off these losses against that. Against those huge, great big gains. Like all people do. And when you do it to the tune of a billionaire. You sound like you know a little something about something. No, actually, I'm back on David's side

because my show was so convincing and as a politician. Apology, yes. So Steve Cohn, the biggest takeaway is that he acknowledged that he can keep this payroll going and met fans are a gas their a gas that oh my god he's not willing to keep funding this team of crap and on top of that we may sell off the deadline so mac surezer when he went from the nationals to the Dodgers, had a wave of his no-trade clause. Now, Max Sherser could go from the Metz to the Marlins, where I end here is that our team

has an opportunity to get Metz players, because Steve Cohen is willing to pay for them all, because he views it as a sunk cost. So the Marlins who have a great farm system, the meds who don't, the Marlins have an opportunity to get a few players to the meds and make moves for both a bat and an arm that can help them get to October. So the Marlins get to do the thing that other teams historically have done to the Marlins. This is all I'm saying. This is our moment here to get that guys.

Marlins fans need to thank the Mets. Absolutely. Thanks for it. They should write Steve Cohen, thank you letters. Thank you, Steve. Or send him happy birthday, Tex. Thank you, Steve. Thank you, Steve. You need to do one more thing.

Thank you, Steve. Thanks, you David. Max has a no trade clause. Oh, Steve. Thank you, Steve. You need to do one more thing. Thank you, Steve. Thanks to David. Max has a no trade clause. Oh, okay. So we've got to Bradley Beale Max to the Marlins. We need billboards. We need songs written about him. That's a deep way to ask him, Paul.

We need a lot of things to get Max to want to be a Marlin. Mike, get on the shirts of songs. I need a song. Oh. Well, does he have any dogs any dogs no not that I'm aware of but his eyes are two different colors and he's not striking out as many guys but he's ferocious who let the dogs out who I'm giving you ideas for song you have one month the trade deadline is August 1st Max shirts or two the Marlins is the best thing we could do. I think I'll start writing songs tomorrow.

Don Lebertard! Again, started on the breakfast line. Oh man, I've been singing a song to myself all morning long. Breakfast line, dun dun dun. Stoo gotch! You never heard the breakfast line song? No, hit me with it. Okay, I wish I had some breakfast line, dun dun dun dun dun.

Breakfast line, dun dun dun dun dun dun. What can, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh As Florida continues to be the center of the universe of all good in the world, all bad in the world, all everything. Now word comes that I've got another thing as I sit next to you. I mean, another thing I have to think about, and it's impacted me because I'm running around my room, swatting stuff. That happened. One of them escaped. Malaria is now back on my list.

Malaria pills make you dream weird. Yeah. And now I feel like I have to go find a doctor down here to get me Malaria pills. Well, you don't have it, so you don't have to get it. No, you take the pills so you don't get it. Oh, well. And if you do get it, you don't die from it.

That would have been helpful for young amine before he caught Malaria. I caught Mal malaria, Sudan. And so the pills that I had to take were chloroquineine, which yeah, if you guys remember, from COVID days, had like a moment in the sun, like the bleach that you drink. No, I thought there were blood holes in the sun.

I thought there were blood holes in the sun. Yeah, they did, anal. They still do. Anal tanning. I'm used to blisters in the sun on your butt Shout out the rock my we also have dengue here by the way dengue fever. Yeah, there's been a couple cases of dengue I read about last summer and Marlon's fever That's not catching no vaccine for that

Well, I've seen I've seen everybody doing the fish Yeah, yeah, yeah. So what's the background here and should I be worried? And I'm not asking you for any other reason than you're sitting to my left. Oh, it stays in you forever apparently, so. And you can't contract it from another person. No, you guess, like mosquitoes. You could if a mosquito bit me and then beat you.

Well, like you can't cough on David and Get him no say's in you forever. Yeah, like me a couple drinks. Hey, hey What You soaking My my more than now. It's not like city. They changed Mike in ways that We're after the third or driver driver It's so malaria so again. This is one of Jeremy just hides under my bed. This is his feet.

What? This is one of the game. What do you mean bounces so you don't have to pump? Yeah. Shout out James Ford. Biggest stats that he likes to draw out. Wait, David, David, you don't know what soaking is? Could you tell me?

Do you know what soaking is? Soaking my toenails? No, no, no, no. Do you know what? No. No, no,ails? No, no, no, do you know what I'm saying? No, no, no, no. I know me at the point, I'm sorry, but. I didn't say something, your toenails. I wanted to see that to run, I do that.

Disgusting, oh. It's that from falling off. Do you know what soaking is? No, I don't. Okay, who wants this? It's less gross than that. You got it, Mike. Yeah, you're the one who's six years old.

No one wants this one, Mike. No one wants it. If you watch jury duty. I mean, it's easier if I show you. There was a... No, I'd never mind. So, uh... In certain religions, you're not supposed to have sex before marriage. And so, some people think that the way around that is for the male to... Insert? In the... But not hump.

And someone jumps on the bed so that there is movement without it being... And then, you know, you're not supposed to have sex before marriage. And so, some people think that the way around that is for the male to insert, in the int, but not hump and someone jumps on the bed so that there is movement without it being like actual, intentional act, the jumping on the bed. That was in jury duty, correct. James Martin, Marson was jumping on the bed. The jumping on the bed is a little extra, I think.

I think I've always understood it to be just the act of insertion and no movement and just Sit in there. No jury duty didn't make up the jumping on really they don't want to make that because that's why you are Is that the role of the soccer to do the jumping on the other so the soaker soken? He's so he has and the so it is part of his job. He's jumping on the bed Making references to that prime show you keep saying jury duty I think it's a polyshore vehicle because I'm old. No, it's jury duty. It's a brand new show that is phenomenal. And two characters soak. Yes, or I'll let the show soak. I didn't even

know that I'm familiar with so can from BYU lore and Pat Bev being told what soaking is. So my only simple question is what did it have to do with me? I mean, do you want it? Do I have something to do with you? No, but you were asking me. Mike brought it up. It's a good question. You're the guys that said it stays in you forever.

I'm just following an easy comedic path. Actually, you know what? I brought it up. That's my bad. Yeah, Jason. You went from every, to soaking. But there's pills you can take, Jason, you went to the floor. There we go, to soaking. But there's pills you can take for both things that stay in you forever.

Oh, well not one. I've one stays in the floor for more than four hours and you should consult a physician. That's the proviso, that's the blue one. That's not the pill I'm referring to. There's several things that happen with malaria, but I don't know why Florida is the center of this now. And I want nothing to do with it.

So I've made a decision that I won't open my balcony door. I found a bug in the room that I killed, but only with an intervening towel in between, never with my hand directly. I crush with my bare hands, even. No, you don't. Yeah, I do. That's, that's.

You catch a bug out of the air. You can get malaria that way. Well. I don't live in Florida, must, must, way. must must we are here now, which means you're in the middle of the sauce You could be so okay won't catch Floridian bugs and might soak in the sauce You can't catch malaria by squishing the bug You can't you can't get lime apparently from squishing a tick so I will yeah You flush those down the toilet, but you can grab mosquitoes with your hands

Yeah, and you can't have premarital sex without a thrust or without a sheet With a hole in it. That's actually above a my sir because I asked about that when I was Rister not that I was told that that is how orthodox Jews have sex is through a sheet I was told that. What a hole in it. In Hebrew school, with a hole in it. Yeah.

I was privy to this information. You got to be sheeting me. I'm not sheeting you. So I grew up assuming that that's how it goes down or how it goes in. And it only was later in life that I was told that that's the same thing is not being able to have tattoos That it's absolute hogwash. Wait, what do you mean it's hogwash? That's not it if you are not orthodox Like there's some people who think who are Jewish who think you shouldn't have tattoos

You're not gonna be able to be buried in a Jewish woman's house. Really? Really? That's just a That's I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. He's had to's where does our problems go You're not gonna be able to be buried in a Dio Chavez actually really really that's just a I don't know where does our bros go is he just kind of Browse Jewish no no He's going to hell this is easy. What are you doing? No, it's a good point Stugatz is the one that says that and Stugatz is Jewish Or so he says no like you got to take that with a grain of kosher salt. I don't know anything about Stugat's mother, but the rule is if your mother is Jewish, you're fully Jewish.

No, no, I want to go back to the whole, you can't be buried in a Jewish cemetery. This is just a myth created by women. Created by mothers who don't want their sons to get tattooed. Really? I'm learning this for the first time right now. No, I know. Yes now yes that what I can start to my rabbi for my first tattoo Charlotte do you want to go get tattoos no I'm now yeah on principle I don't want one now big they got you good then wait no what how are you the principal means you

should no principal is she never will because it's been brought into I can't I can't tell you what a cute what a I'm googling it I don't know that I don't yeah, I'm charlotte having flashbacks with her mom. I want it He's my boyfriend. I love him. You're not gonna do this because you're not gonna be buried in the room You're not getting grimace on your ass charlotte Unless you can show you the hammer. Okay That was always my excuse mom. I'll get it tattoo, but I can change it around in case there's a breakup It would be the hammer. It would be the hammer. It would be the hammer. It would be the hammer. It would be the hammer. It would be the hammer. It would be the hammer. It would be the hammer.

It would be the hammer. It would be the hammer. It would be the hammer. It would be the hammer. It would be the hammer. It would be the hammer. It would be the hammer. It would be the hammer.

It would be the hammer. It would be the hammer. It would be the hammer. It would be the hammer. It would be the hammer. It would be the hammer. It would be the hammer. It would be the hammer.

It would be the hammer. It would be the hammer. It would be the hammer. It would be the hammer. Okay. That was always my excuse.