The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz - Hour 1: Frankie Tires and Danny Ice Picks

Episode Date: January 28, 2025

We continue our discussion about which new NFL head coaches nailed and lost their introductory press conferences and then dive into the hires made around the league so far. Is there any coach whose perception has a starker contrast between fans and people within the NFL than Mike McCarthy? Does Mike McCarthy look like Mardi Gras? Is Mardi Gras actually magical or is it just a place where Greg Cote wakes up with mashed potatoes in his hair next to his friend Tom Jordan who LOOKS like Mike McCarthy? Also, Stugotz thinks Dan may have slashed his tires with an ice pick and we open an investigation into what happened. Plus, Dan is bringing threats back for 1-800 Flowers, Jess had an awkward moment with Dianna Russini, and NFL coach names that sound like they would make good doctors. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Let's create the agent-first future together. Head to salesforce.com slash careers to learn more. This is the Dan Lebatard Show with the Stugatz Podcast. This episode of the Dan Lebatard Show with Stugatz is presented by Venmo. We really appreciate our sponsors around here, especially over the last four years, because they have, in the podcast industry, a pretty crappy space. So many people involved, so many people

not knowing how to make a business of it. Our sponsors have made us a hugely vibrant thing in the industry. So I will thank Venmo for its support, and will ask again Cody and Stugatz in a way meant to shame them if they have Venmo on their phone and if they're ready to pay fines because Venmo, a sponsor that supports us, has been added to this segment and the return of the fine bucket because you guys are to respect the sponsors because the sponsors respect us by supporting us with an audience that appreciates the amount of content we make every day so I know I'm not iron fist guy I can't get anyone to wear a costume wear a grid of death punishment I'm gonna cancel the grid of death and you guys are gonna be

happy and we're not gonna be able to have the sponsor because we're just gonna get rewarded for people not doing things. I'm all caught up. So the the general rebellion around here it needs to stop in the face of sponsors that are more supportive than any we have ever had and you you still don't have your Venmo? Yeah it's installed in my phone. You know how to do it? Of course. I got them set up. No, no, Greg knows how to do it. It's all taken care of. While you owe money from previous fines you have not paid and it is still owed. But the thing is that those aren't legally retroactive. Yeah, I think it only starts once you've downloaded Venmo. That is fair, right. It all starts when you install Venmo in your machine.

Yeah, in your machine. Right. You're getting to it, huh? It's done. It's done moving forward. They all count You know, it was a loose end that I tied up. Yeah coming out day, you know Exactly, it's a gackey. I mean, are you doubting whether or not we paid our Venmo fines? I paid one yesterday $2 I labeled it London Fletcher. I mean So I I want to offer by way of apology You did, you gave it. Because Med-Roll makes it easy. You can label every transaction. Yeah, really, right there. Two bucks. So I want to offer by way of apology, it's one of the dangers of doing this live. I'll take it.

We had a good joke set up at the end of the last segment. It was right there. All it required was a clean edit. And we stumbled and fell down on our face I want to say we will do better but we will not huh it could have been a good joke though right it was right there for us we should try for better though the jet the jets make it very easy still got these losers giving press conferences make it very easy we look I believe this show is now officially jaded enough

that no matter how much coaching carousel talk you want to do, we're all going to find it funny. Wait, people want Mike McCarthy? The guy who won once with what was then Josh Allen? I'm telling you, that's a weird one, Mike McCarthy. I have not noticed the difference between the media perception and the perception in the league. He's not thought of as this bumbling joke

that we think of him as the media. Oh, the players love him. Usually, I feel like the league and the media are generally on the same page with coaches. There's a disconnect with Mike McCarthy, and I'm not sure what it is. What's left with him? Like, New Orleans, right?

Well, they said Chicago, too. They said somehow Chicago, which I imagine not sure what it is. What's left with him? Like New Orleans, right? Well, they said Chicago, too. They said somehow Chicago, which I imagine Packers fans would welcome. I know. So it's just New Orleans, right? That could be the only place. He doesn't look like someone that would go to Mardi Gras, but looks like everyone that's at Mardi Gras

once you get there. Nah, he looks like Key West. Good point. Dan, which coaching hires do you like? I feel like no matter who gets hired, you make fun of. Like Dan Campbell we made fun of. Liam Cohen we're making fun of, Aaron Glenn who I feel like he has. There's not a huge difference between buckle up and fasten your seatbelt if you ask me. I guess there's maybe some nuance I'm missing there.

Who do you like? Okay, so I will answer that question in a second, but Mike McCarthy, just going back here at Levitard Show, put it on the poll please, Juju, does he look more like Mardi Gras or Key West? Because I got Mardi Gras, and these are two very different looks. But he doesn't like, okay, unless you've been to Mardi Gras, you don't understand, because he doesn't look like Mardi Gras

from what you think Mardi Gras is, but once you get to Mardi Gras, it's all Mike McCarthy. Yes, that is correct. You've been to Mardi Gras. Oh yeah. Billy's been to Mardi Gras is, but once you get to Mardi Gras, it's all Mike McCarthy. Yes, that is correct. You've been to Mardi Gras? Oh yeah. Billy's been to Mardi Gras. Yeah, college. Right, you think it's a bunch of young people

having a blast, and when you get there, you realize it's all Mike McCarthy. No, it's a million Mike McCarthy's, they've all got hurricanes in their hands. Yeah, he's building a keg. A pink, fleshy keg. Right. And I think Mardi Gras runs away with this

because he's got beads around his neck and he is careening from pub to pub. Everything you guys are describing is also Key West. That's correct. These might be the same places. That is, that you are. But a different look. But I don't think there's any fall pretenses

when you go to Key West. Mardi Gras, you're tricked into going, thinking it's something else. Listen, if you're a teenage boy growing up, you say, oh my God, Mardi Gras, the promised land. I know what goes on there. Doesn't go on there. Does not go on there.

Doesn't happen at Mardi Gras. I disagree. I disagree because I was there with Greg Cody once and he woke up in a hotel room and he had mashed potatoes in his hair after his friend Tom Jordan had dragged him out of a dungeon where he had rip-roaring fun that he can't remember. Yeah, I remember.

That's the thing is as a teenager, I didn't grow up thinking I'd run into Greg Cody and Tom Jordan with mashed potatoes in their hair. There you go. Tom Jordan looks exactly like Mike McCarthy. TJ. That's right. Just thick, a thick human being.

But can we talk for a second because Jessica's criticism is fair because I yawn through all of the coaching hires. Yes, I assume that Ben Johnson will be very good as a coach because the game has been overrun by the McDaniels' and the McVeys. So if you tell me that that and the mcveys and so if you tell me that that's what he is okay and if you tell me that somebody else is hired a twenty eight-year-old offensive coordinator now because that's how we're doing it

i like you know we're probably making a younger than we ever have and they're a lot different than mike mccarthy my whole thing about coaching hires over the last twenty years is we've seen enough of them in this town with the dolphins in hurricane where guys when the press conference crush the press conference al gold and crushed the press conference and spent the rest of his life trying to get back and now he's a defensive coordinator because largely these guys come in

leadership is difficult and i don't happen to believe that many of them can bring just some sort of culture of I can do this better than the other guy can and now we're where the nerds are on no this is all computers now and and taking advantage of of tight windows and it's going to be 30 year olds thrown to puka naku in space you know what I mean that that's what the fight's going to be not Mike McCarthy, not Saquon Barkley running the ball all over the place. I'm just saying the Jets are a dumpster fire and everything they do is probably wrong. But we're being very preemptively mean about a coach who was a great player, had a good track record as a coordinator, and now is being promoted to a head coach.

Stugats is like, already is like, he wants to retire. He's only 52, he's not like some ancient old man. He might be a good coach, I don't know. The best proof that these press conferences mean nothing, Nick Sirianni famously had a terrible introduction. Oh my god, it was so bad. Yes, we mocked him for weeks. Yes.

And look at him now. He didn't stop mocking him until literally weeks ago though. But it's a crapshoot, right? Like we yawned at Dan Quinn, we yawned when Kevin O'Connell was hired as the Vikings head coach, he's now one of the best head coaches the NFL

I mean, it's all a crapshoot. We have no idea if any of these guys are gonna be good including Ben Johnson Right. I mean Dan Campbell who turned out to be pretty good was an interim coach with the Dolphins They didn't even hire that was an epic press conference though. Eat your kneecaps. Yeah Yeah, but all but all of this stuff is interesting to me, right? We love leadership so much, and I believe most people listening to this do believe that Pete Carroll has a thing. Well, he does.

That he can bring to the Raiders, and in his case, it might just be infectious energy and something that feels a little more positive than whatever the bleak darkness is of losing or winning no playoff games for 22 years in that sport. So maybe Tom Brady and Pete Carroll can concoct something that resembles leadership.

But so many of these people like Urban Meyer come in with a plan and the assumption that they can do something that will impact an environment, and then there are professional problems everywhere, and you need Mike McCarthy to be your trusty veteran janitor because he's been there before and he could probably not he could probably put a staff together that won't be filled with idiots I can work with everyone from Jerry Jones to the the public that funds

that team in Green Bay and only wins one championship with Aaron Rodgers Ben Johnson also closer in age to Aaron Glenn than Aaron Glenn is to Pete Carroll. Wow. I like the idea of McCarthy showing up to his next job with a mop. I mean you guys do think it's funny right that that at the top of the food chain and leadership in the most valuable business that there is in American sports that McCarthy would turn down Jerry Jones what did you see from the Cowboys this year that made you think they belonged in the game we just saw with two of their division rivals that are better and younger like what what proof did you

not see that they are galaxies away I mean they had three 12 win seasons before this season. And on McCarthy's watch he fails and Jerry Jones wasn't going to let him go when the American public had fired him before Thanksgiving. They were losing home games by 20 points in the most expensive stadium in America. I think it's ridiculous for you guys to think that Jerry Jones doesn't have a plan here. This is a brilliant guy, a very smart business guy. And yes, he wants and probably has too much control over the football team that he owns. But Jerry Jones, I think, probably has a plan because this hire is so outlandish

and so out of left field. This is not Mike McCarthy. This is not, you know, Bill Parcells. This is a guy who has no head coaching experience and it leads me to believe he's a bridge. He's a bridge that leads to either Deon Sanders or Bill Belichick who told him, hey, I need to at least coach one year at Carolina. And in Deon's case, he said, hey, Jerry, listen, hire Schottenheimer. I'll be ready in a year. I can't leave Colorado the second my son leaves.

Bad luck. North Carolina. Oh, Dion, you've still got Dion in the game. I have Dion and Belichick. I think Schottenheimer is a bridge coach, and I think he's okay with being a bridge coach. Good point. Yeah.

As a conspiracy theory, you know what? Fine. I'll take it. Thank you. Hate it. I hate it so much But why not I think you're right. Yeah, I also think this has to have been a mutual parting I can't believe that Jerry Jones is going no Mike, please please say well They seem to have been surprised and Diana. I do trust her reporting like Diana is not being flippant about these things She's she proves it all the time that her information's good.

Billy, why are you making faces at that? I should ask her about Spain. Yeah, that's right. You should have. Reach out to her. She probably knows. She could probably just find out for you. Why don't you keep it secret? You could ask Sarah Spain as well.

Ooh, that's a good idea, Craig. Are you just gonna do the Tony Kornheiser thing the rest of your life? I hope so. Where it's just a Tourette's where any name, any word that's a name will allow, you're going to do that? Yeah, I promise. Okay, thank you. I want to notice it from now on, add it to your collection of wonderful idiosyncrasies.

It is the laziest way to age comedically. I don't think so. It's my exercise, middle gymnastics. Somebody says Spain and you just say Sarah Spain. Yeah, you have to. If there was a game in Rome, you would ask? Gym. Gym, right, of course.

Yeah, you have to. Why deny the obvious? Have to. Was this more awkward than when L. Duncan called Chris Gregg? Let's relive it. This was awkward with Diana right here. Say hi to Riley Leonard for me, Diana.

Ah. All her thoughts on Riley Leonard. Say hi to Riley Leonard for me, Diana. Ah. It's a magical chemistry you two have. There's only six quarterbacks there. Did you shorten that? Because it felt a lot longer in real time. I figured she was going to see him, tell him hi.

I missed it. Say hi to Riley Leonard for me, Diana. It's important that that be in the middle of our interview Silence because I don't know if you guys have heard of the senior bowl I would have said actually the senior bowl was Sunday when poppy and Greg were both here doing the watch-along But then I felt like that was a cheap shot at Greg. Sorry Greg. That's okay. What about a good joke I got broad shoulders. Yeah That's something a crow cawing.

That sound that Diana made. That's it? Ah! Ah! Ah! We failed in doing too much football with her instead of talking about some of the things going on in her life, because that always has some funny spillage around it.

But when we talk about these ridiculous things, when Stugat says, and this one, this one's super interesting to me and also a bit baffling, but even Dominic Foxworth, who is, you know, really smart, he went to a table with Jerry Jones, sat down to negotiate with him, and when sitting at that table, presumed for a good amount of time, oh, this person knows what they're doing and got to this position because they're brilliant and then negotiations started and he was like oh no he's not no he's not why do we do this thing where if you have billions of dollars

because you know how to do something with oil you were then a brilliant businessman in fairness to Jerry Jones when Dominique sits down at the table he's usually the smartest guy sitting down at the table. I know but Dominique sat at that table presuming that that wealth bought him some intellect or leadership or palpable ability to make things that comes with the genius that other people don't have. They're just people. They're people with money, sometimes often inherited money. Often money not earned or money earned illicitly.

I mean, I'm rich. But this person, Rich, you are not. Oh, no, I'm not. Like no one would assume of you, oh, he's more brilliant than anyone. But even Stugatz does have a good amount of money, so you he's more brilliant than anyone. But even Stugatz does have a good amount of money, so you do the math of, wow.

Stugatz is someone else changes my tires for me, Rich. Ah, Frankie Tires. Well, can you guys get that video up now? Can you guys get that video up now? Because Stugatz was caught in the parking lot. Frankie Tires, he works security for us. He is someone who keeps the parking lot, Frankie Tires, he works security for us, he is someone who keeps the premises safe and yesterday we caught Stugats in the wild in the parking garage

trying to fix his tire and he couldn't, it was a bit of an exercise. Frankie Tires also struggled with it, correct? He did, the problem for Frankie Tires, Frankie Tires is probably the greatest changer of tires in the history of the world. Oh, come on. No, Dan, I am serious. No one is better or more efficient at changing a tire than Frankie tires. That's why I call them Frankie tires.

What happened yesterday to Frankie was, I was trying to help because I felt so bad asking Frankie to do this. I was trying to help. And at one point- You were the light guy? I can see in this video here, you have your phone out with the light on. Yeah, and at one point, Frankie said, hey, do me a favor, get the bleep out of my way.

You're making it worse. This is taking longer because you're trying to help. So I got out of his way and oh, was I ready to go. 14 seconds later, it's amazing. I mean- I see you have your whole set of golf clubs set up behind the car also. always gotta have them in the car Well, the thing is is that's that's another one of your loners. Is it not so like you know, that's my actual car

I had that car back for a single day and I got a flat tire now Here's the thing I parked in the parking lot all four tires were fine. They were fine There's only one person who parks next to me and that is Dan and I'm wondering if Dan somehow bumped into me, maybe slashed my tire, I don't know, because the tire was fine when I walked in and flat when I walked in. The old accidental slashing of tires. I did see Dan with an ice pick yesterday. Or on purpose. Oh not on purpose.

What do you have me doing? You have me scraping your car? Side swipe something, something. You did something. Just of the tire? Yeah, maybe you threw a nail out. I don't know. Check the security cameras. Yeah.

I think Dan has ordered the security cameras whitewashed for all of yesterday. I wonder why. Ice pick over here. That's what they used to call them, Frankie tires and ice pick. Danny ice picks. Yes. Is that true? Did you slash his tires, Dan? Did you? I call him Frankie Tires and Ice Pick. Yeah. Danny Ice Picks. Yes.

Is that true, did you slash his tires, Dan? Did you? I thought about it. He didn't deny it. How would I slash a tire? What weapon do you have me having in my car to slash a tire? Your Danny Tires. What do you have?

No, he's not, he's Danny Ice Picks. So an ice pick? An ice pick? You have, okay. It is cold out there. Your cigar cutter. I don't think so. Oh yeah, could you put out your cigar butt

in the tire and melt it? Yeah, he could burn a hole in the tire. No, I think you guys underestimate, first of all, Stu Gotz has a good car and his loaners are good and his tires are good. They're not great. There are no cheap tires on what it is that Stu Gatz is driving around and no,

put it on the pole, Juju, can you flatten a tire with a cigar? I think you can. Maybe you had Elise do it. You think I can flatten a car tire with a cigar? Sounds like you've tried it before. Yeah. Have you tried it before?

The visual of Elise out there doing it for you is funny. That's only on Wednesdays. Wouldn't you guys imagine that the Weapon to take out a tire to flatten a tire that isn't just you know Letting the air out of the tire. Rambo's machete. Yeah No, but what what is the weapon that you imagine I would have to have in my car to do that? I think this is harder than you guys believe it is, if you're accusing me of shivving Stugats's tire

in an act of rage. Or whatever the act is. I don't know what the act is just to make his life even more difficult than it already is. Let the air out then? What was the damage to the tires, Stugats? Did you get it fixed? I mean, yeah, I brought it in I have a loner I'll pick up the again for a for a spare tire of a loan Billy

I said I just picked up my car it was being serviced and I got a flat on the way down here I mean not on the way down here somehow magically I got a flat because the Dan why we were doing the show yesterday I just imagine you show up there and they're like, alright, we'll be like an hour and you're like no no, no Give me a loner. I'll be back. I'm starting to think you did this to your own tire just to get a loaner again Like you've had your car for one day the past like six months, right? I missed the loner You know why nice loner? Why did it get flat? Did you see a nail in that? That's what I'm asking What was the damage? Nothing mysterious. We couldn't find it. Yeah

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Stugats here's a picture of Christopher when he was like three years old This is the done libertar Show with the StuGats. We will conduct an investigation with Frankie Tires. We will report whatever it is that we find there. I also want to say, in keeping with thanking our sponsors, long time sponsor, 1-800-FLOWERS. Oh, wow. Yeah, 1-800-FLOWERS is back Yes in time in time for Valentine's Day, which means Yes escalating threats

Are beginning today to tell you what it is that I'm going to do to you. I've been talking to Ron McGill I've been talking to Ron McGill about what kind of creatures I can have at my disposal if you do not buy one eight hundred Flowers like the infants the infestations I could unleash upon your home, right? You could slash someone's tires that just just starting though, right? Like this that's the early rounds of of threatening right? Like I think that you know where this is going to escalate to more heat talk. Yes. No more politics No, no more politics. Yes by flowers. That's what's gonna happen Yes, what is going to happen is it will escalate in I'm just doing a political show for three months

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you're uncommonly loyal and also, I've got an assortment of threats that I'm going to unleash upon you and your family. You love a good slash It's just getting started with the ice pick to the tires. I tried the cigar it went out So buy the flowers not for your wife your significant other buy them for us. No, no Yeah, well, yes, well just to avoid these conversations Yes, buy them for us, but don't send them here you have to have done that work out but but support one hundred flowers because they're back

as a sponsor and we are grateful for the people who sponsor us uh... as i go back on mike mccarthy though because what chris cody is saying is i think pretty interesting like if we're most valuable franchise in sports we overvalue these general people who are managers and in that case Mike McCarthy was bringing championship pedigree while being what we all think is an administrative assistant to Jerry Jones. And then embarrassing home losses like by 20 points all the time. Didn't just didn't play a meaningful game. Dak Prescott got hurt obviously

that's part of it but Mike McCarthyccarthy doesn't work there anymore when we do this stuff with the leaders and we also on dan campbell when he was here we all spent time laughing at that is the leaders job to bring the rara and then just the coordinators who are outsmarting you because uh... one of the interesting things that came from the reporting after bills chiefs is that uh... they they were talking in the reporting they were

talking to the bills center and i want to read this to you because it's the difference between the super bowl and not so sire s torrents it's a great name it is so sire s for a center also this this is is he's talking about the the blitz he's talking about the last play on fourth and five for the bills and and what it is they were disguising mike ryan called it satanic yesterday

he's like they set it up is what torrent says quote they set it up it was like they were waiting to get in that situation all game to bring that one pressure that uh... the whole game they were dropping out of that they were showing it dropping out of it and the bills made the call it's like it's like the best strategists would beat you in on a fishing line to try and get you in just like i'm a keep doing this and doing this and doing this and when the game it gets unpredictable and it becomes they've won seventeen straight by this much

more than any team in the history of the sport field goal here in their yes they've got the best quarterback but things like that were josh allen on fourth and five in that situation you're hopeful if you're the chiefs but fourth and five for the bills is a good situation for the bills that that their ability to get five year five five yards there with josh allen in their offense that's what was happening in that game where you could make one

mistake and then at the very end surprise set up the entire game that's attention to detail i mean it is dan of course it is but but i would also say to you that when we analyze these coaching hires they've all tried to get that kind of attention to detail. They all try to be prepared for all of the permutations. And then Eberfluss is doing the game management at the end where you're like, what are they doing?

Like how can it be that incompetent when, of course it's gonna look like that sometimes with a rookie quarterback. It's the way it used to look all the time with the rookie quarterbacks. Jaden Daniels is gonna spoil us now. We're gonna end up in a place where oh there's no learning curve anymore. Like it's not... Can you guys look for me how many interceptions Peyton Manning through his first year?

Twenty-something. I'll look it up but it was twenty-something I believe. Was it thirty? Like it's what it used to be and we're making the hardest position in sports, harder than it's ever been. We're making it for people we're asking to play younger than they have or quicker than they have and then we entrust their futures to a Dan Campbell who the media can't decide whether he knows what he's doing or not until he's 14 and 3. Right but I think the important thing for the head coach as it relates to attention to detail is having great coordinators around him.

Guys who could potentially be head coaches or have been head coaches. Andy Reid has had that his entire time in Kansas City. He has SPAGS, and SPAGS could just focus on what he does best, and that's being a defensive coordinator. But Dan Campbell had it in Detroit. It's gone. It's going to be interesting to see what it turns into now but you say that uh... that uh... andy reid had it

he had eric biannime and now eric biannime is gonna have trouble finding job like he was a hot he was a hot coaching candidate cuz he was supposed to be right whatever this thing is and then no one hires him to be that thing and any flames out at UCLA very quickly after falling down the ladder. My larger point is most of the people talking about this don't know what they're talking about

when it comes to was that a good defensive coordinator hire. We saw Fangs down here, he was plenty good, everybody knows he's good, that's why he gets paid higher than everybody else. Right. If your name is Fangs or Spags, you could feel pretty good about that higher I mean you can it's some a lot of it's the name yeah nickname

apparently Wink Mortondale yeah frankly Mike McCarthy is a football head coach name you're right you know the new Jacksonville coach not so much not a name yeah I can't get behind that name. Wait a minute, names? Oh, names matter. Names matter. Names matter. Liam Cohen, you can't get behind? No. Sounds like a physicist. Yeah, not as my football coach. Dan Campbell, you can get behind.

Of course. Yeah, but we mocked it anyway. Dan the man, that guy. But Dan Campbell, if he looks different, doesn't hit his, like, that's actually not a great name. We just think it is because of how he looks. Yeah, he's a Bill Cower. He's a young Bill Cower in appearance.

Lee Cohen looks like Marty Grau, right Billy? Looks like the South Alabama student that goes down there for the weekend. Yeah, and out of town or in town for a good time. Marty Grau. What is the best of the coaching names? Because I think there's a three- Lombardi.

Wink Martindale is great. Lombardi, I think there's a three syllable count here, McCarthy. Like I think what we're doing here, you guys are saying Dan Campbell. I think it's a three syllable count that what you need on the name. I'm not certain.

Chuck Knoll is a great coaching name. Yeah. It's pretty good. But I think it's great because it's two syllables. Don Shula, pretty good name. The Cobbler. The Cobbler. Nick Saban. Exactly. All two syllables. Don Shula, pretty good name. The cobbler. Yeah, Nick Saban. Exactly. All three syllables.

McCarthy. McCarthy's good. And that's what I'm telling you. That's why he keeps firing them. What are the bad names and what are the good names? Eberfluss. Eberfluss. Yeah, I mean, that's the worst of all time. Terrible.

No matter what you do for a living, you don't want to be named Eber Fluss Put it on the pole at LeBotard show No matter what you do for a living. Do you want to be named Eber Fluss? I think I'd go to an ENT named Eber Fluss Yeah, Dr. Eber Fluss No Is it a great coaching name one set I think it is pretty good Yeah, yeah, I think good not great By the way, Iber fluce also sounds like the name of a car but only an oddball Volkswagen a Volkswagen Iber fluce nice

You know, yeah golf, you know, they they're the company that comes up with weird car names. One that you couldn't get here though, it's only available like in Europe. Yeah, yeah, an Eberfluse. Mike McDaniel, good coach's name. No. Not a good coach's appearance. What are you doing with the name? No, Mike McDaniel is a solid head coach's name.

You gotta back it up though with the appearance. No, Lovey Smith is a solid coach's name. That's a good one. Lovey? Lovey? Yes! No. Lovey?

Lovey Smith? Lovey? It's decent. Dan Quinn just does nothing for him. Lovey Smith is a good high school football coach, like in Texas. Lovey Smith could go on to win like 10 out of 12 state championships, you know?

Dr. McDaniel could touch my feet. Right. Oh, my head coach's name is Lovey. You know? Dr. McDaniel could touch my feet. Right. All my head coach names love him. Really, he can. Yeah. How about Chuck Knox? I don't know what you're doing to Eberfluss as a podiatrist.

Why won't you let Eberfluss? No, ENT. ENT. You're keeping him above your waist? Like what? It's just Eberfluss. Why is Eberfluss not allowed near your feet? I don't understand.

Well, he's not a podiatrist, he's an ENT. Dr. Bandova. That's my path near your feet. I don't understand. Well, he's not a podiatrist, he's an ENT. Dr. Ben Dova. That's my proctologist. That was always an old Johnny Carson line. I never forgot it. Carson was so good. What do you think he meant by that? You know, it was his proctologist, Dr. Ben Dova.

Really? Yeah. Use your imagination. The glory hole thing? No, he spelled it B-E-N-D-O-V-A. He was a foreigner. Cliff Kingsbury. Good coach's name. Yeah, I don't know about that.

Not Cliff with a K. You know, that's just creating the language. His last name starts with a K. I know, but you don't need that. Cliff's a good name, I think. With a K? Not with a K. starts with a K. His last name starts with a K. I know, but you don't need that. Cliff's a good name, I think. Not with a K? Not with a K. Not with a K, yeah. You questioned a Cliff with a K.

You really did. It's a Greg and a Double G situation. Can't have it. Some coaches with good names never work out. Nathaniel Hackett, good name. No, I don't think so. I mean, what are we doing? That is a good name.

Thank you, Dan. Hackett? No, he's a hack. No, you guys are doing this thing where you That is a good name. Thank you, Dan. Hack it? No, it's a hack. Oh, nothing. No, you guys are doing this thing where you're saying. You're gonna hack it, yeah. He's right.

Yeah. So let's just recap here. Is he wrong about that? Let's recap here. I took a hack. Well put. After Dr. Bendova, you guys are just playing the hints. Like, look at the two of you.

He did take a heck It's just the lowest common denominator humor hacking it Pat Shermer Shermer that M in there the M so close to the R. I don't trust any of it Abe Gibran What is that? He was the what 500 pound coach what decade what year was it 70s? Okay Abe Gibran well the 500 pound how can you get me the weight in that day? Get me get me the weight please of Abe Gibran a truly terrible football coach his name

I'm telling you we could have spent a month here and I wouldn't have landed there. I would have named all sorts of college coaches, pro coaches, coaches from all sports before I arrived in a 1970s. A Bears coach who was fat and named Abe. I'm seeing 5'11", 243. Oh that can't be right. No, that's a list. He's like my size. I have pictures of him, Billy. He's way bigger than that. Yeah, he was a big man.

1950s, by the way. 1950s, wow. Good for him. Yeah, he played at Valparaiso in 1948. Valpo. I don't mean to disparage him. God rest his soul. Pretty good head coach.

I don't know if he was or not he was in a plane crash 42 and 11 hold on 11 and 30 oh that's that's that one tie it's 1130 if he was in a plane crash we'd have to say he's a good coach no I'm willing to extend it to good coach I'm willing to do this for sports figures as part of your one time exemption. So if Adam Gase gets in a plane crash and survives the crash, he's a good coach? Because it's so many years ago that nobody's gonna care.

So is the plane crash away? It's Abe Gibson, it's Abe Gibson in the 50s. It's not Gibson, it's Gibran. Gibran, excuse me. That's fine, yeah. That's fine, yeah. If Abe Gibran is in a plane crash, you know why. He died of a brain tumor. Oh, I'm sorry. Why Greg?

Well, you know heavy if I'm in a plane This is there's no way I can say this without pissing some people off But if I'm in a plane And you're a poor, no, no, please stop. I know where you're going You know what hold on a second hold on I've got a new play No, no, please stop. I know where you're going. Hold on. Let's hear him out. Now, you know what? Hold on a second. Hold on. I've got a new...

No, no, no, no, no. I'm with Chris Cody here. Hold on, everybody. I know. Not surprised that Billion's Two Gods would push everybody. Hold on a second. This is a loving son taking care of his dad here. We all know where he's going with this.

Come on, we get it. Who are you going to piss off, Greg? I'm not, I have nothing against people who some would say are overweight. Right. That's a fine. I know. I'm getting right on Zenmo. Venmo. Venmo. Right. He'll pay his when you pay yours. I'm paying it right now. I'm paying it right now. So let's see. You're paying my fine for me? No, I'm paying mine, so go ahead. Let's say you pay right now.

I'm paying right now. Get yours right now. Well, my phone is turned off. Here it is. Here we go again. Well, no, and here we go again. And you're in mid-thought. Yeah.

Right. No, I don't want to make fun of anybody, but it's a fact that if a 500-pound man is walking down my aisle in a plane, followed by another couple of really heavy people, it worries me. Only on Southwest. That's a fact that it worries you? Yeah, because you do have to even the weight out, left and right.

It's not true. On a plane? They're his facts. No, it's absolutely true. I've never heard an announcement of like, we're gonna have to move a few heavy people to the other side of the boat. I've heard about boats, I didn't know about planes. They are are balancing the plane the entire time you guys just don't know it yes

They are moving luggage left and right 100% are they 100% is that a hundred percent no it's absolutely true Yeah, if there's if there's 40 people on the right side of a plane Yeah, and 18 on the left you better believe they're asking some people to move well What happens if they don't? Well, you know, you gotta do what you gotta do. Put it on the pole, Juju. Disobeying a flight attendant is a federal...

Something, yeah. Crime. Good, I'm glad I waited for you to really close us out. Crime may be a hard word. Okay, at Levitard Show, please, Juju, when there are 40 people on one side of the plane, are they going to allow 18 others to be on the other side? No.

30 and 30. Chris is instinctual, right? We should have quit while we were ahead. I will allow, I've paid my fine. Get your phone, figure, like, I'm not gonna keep asking you guys, okay, on the behalf of the sponsors to respect the sponsors and lecture uh... the the uh...

the idea that that happens on small small planes is true yet the smallest of planes is true that they have to be careful with what ways what it is not something that is true of larger planes. You're wrong. It's happened on a flight I've been on before. They made us switch sides. Like have you ever been on an empty flight? In Barcelona actually, Billy.

Right, if there's only like 40 people on the flight, they're all on the right side, they will insist that 20 go to the left side. It happened to me and then they like put caution tape along a bunch of the other side of the plane so people couldn't switch back over. Yeah, it was a scary flight. Yeah.

There was a storm. He can't be fined for that. You made him turn it on. That's his phone. You made him do it. You're the one who asked me to turn it on. That is true. That's more fines for you for your phone going off.

You asked me to turn it on to pay my Venmo. This is entrapment. You can turn it on quietly. You can turn it on quietly. He doesn't know how. Hey, howdy listener, why don't you sit down here next to me, let's have a fireside conversation in the winter. This is all theater of the mind anyways, the weather outside is a little chilly, let's warm up, let's cozy up, not just to each other, but also to that beautiful white can of Miller Lite. That's right, make these moments even better with Miller Lite, the great tasting light beer for people who love beer. A new year is a perfect time for friends,

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