The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz - Hour 1: GEN CFB

Episode Date: December 15, 2023

Jessica and Lucy are fascinated by the Panera Charged Lemonade that has been killing people* and the memes that have spawned from it. Amin walks a dangerous line, and Lucy teaches Dan why his opinion Liquid Death's water is out of touch. Then, the crew discusses the weirdest stretches of land in Florida as Charlotte teaches us about Hussey's General Store that sells "guns, wedding gowns, and cold beer." Also, Chris wants to look for the best moments in sports that make you saw "Awwwwww." Plus, Jess and Lucy's College Football segment finally has a name: GEN CFB. They discuss Army-Navy, the Heisman, Kirk Herbstreit losing his mind on Twitter, and preview the early bowl games. *For legal purposes: the lemonade, ya know, might not be killing the people? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

You're listening to Giraffe King's Network. This is the Don't Labo Tarsho with the Stugat Spatcast. For more than a couple of weeks now, Jessica has been talking about this lemonade that is killing people and for some reason Somebody around here today. I don't know whether it was a mean or Lucy somebody said that this claim by Jessica that has been validated someone died because of is it is it Panera? Is that the company that is making the lemonade? Someone died and what has happened since is the dangerous taboo of the liquid

death that isn't the water that is liquid death that is liquid death now makes it more appetizing because it's a dangerous drink and I don't understand what's happening there now there are people around here who want to taste the deadly lemonade I'm so happy Lucy's here now and Charlotte obviously, but Lucy Lucy is Reading the same memes as me on on the Twitter for you page and this Panera lemonade has caffeine in it, but does not really advertise that it has caffeine in it It has so much caffeine in it that people are drinking it without realizing that it actually may be bad for their health And so now two people have died after drinking the lemonade and they're suing Panera.

And instead of this being like, oh my god, this is tragic, this corporation didn't label their drink well. It's just turned into a meme where everyone's like, I want to drink the lemonade that kills you. This is basically like turned into like the tide pods fiasco a few years ago where kids were eating tide pods because they were like, oh, the tide pods fiasco a few years ago, where kids were eating tide pods because they were like, ah, it's funny. It's a TikTok trend.

And people are now doing the Panera lemonade challenge where you go drink Panera lemonade and see if you die. I was gonna say, and some adults eat with tide pods. They were delicious. Yeah. Is this the Chris Cody theory of no pub is bad pub, even if you're not getting it.

If you're not getting it, this is not good. People not good people are dying this makes me want to go nowhere near Panera really I mean oh let me killing people I love Panera I still want to go there but I don't want to try the lemonade don't why would you guys want to try something that might kill you I just have a lot of questions here first about why is there caffeine and lemonade second about why is there so much caffeine and lemonade that people are dying? What? And what has happened to us mentally

that we're like, this is the funniest? Like people are like, it havin' a ball. And I feel so terrible for these two families because like if you read the stories of what happened to these people, like it is genuinely horrified. If this happened to one of your family members or someone you knew, you would be mortified.

Like it's so tragic, but it is just like everything now that is sad or kind of weird just is like instantly memified. I'm going to walk the dangerous line here. Oh boy. You go in the panero, right? Yeah, I'll get a sandwich. You want some tips on this all? Have sandwich soup.

Half sandwich, half soup, maybe a bag of chips. Red bull, Rock Lane Cheddar. I maybe a bag of bread bowl Rock Lane cheddar I'm I'm a little thirsty mother parched. What should I have the drink? Well, let's see you guys We have we have so does we have we have you know, but iced tea we've got lemonade. We got our charge lemonade Give me the charge to one why are you going over to charge lemon? They have regular lemonade right? They have regular lemonade. That's what I'm talking about I choose the one that's gonna kill you you what here's why you smoke cigarettes good point you he doesn't try that though he just a warning label he lives in it yeah well that's the thing I'm not trying

there to be a warning label that's not trying he is succeeding it's like charred lemonade you could be like oh it's probably like fruit punch or like has vitamins in it yeah it's oh, it's probably like fruit punch. Or it has vitamins in it. Yeah, it's just like, well, it's this limited, could kill you. This is like the four loco without the alcohol. So I'm getting. But like, here's the crazy thing, right? There's a scene in the movie, don't be a minister South Central

while Dr. G. E. Juus and the Hood, where, worthy. Yes, it's a great title. File. File as well. They roll up a joint. Well, first guy takes a hit starts coughing coughing harder harder than he's convulsing He's frothing at them out

He kills over and like a cockroach with his legs up dies and everyone stares at him and then they look at the We as a pass that shit over here. That's exact vibe I get which is this lemonade is so caffeinated That's exact vibe I get, which is, this lemonade is so caffeinated, it killed two people. Oh my God, I'm ready for that wild ride. Remember that day I had the Cuban coffee, but I had a cup as opposed to a little thing, and then I started freaking out. That's what I think that lemonade must be like.

We should get some right now. This makes me want some Cuban coffee. Let's get plenty of it. Let's make some Cuban coffee. It's a panero too. I think for legal purposes, we should state that we are not accusing panero explicitly of contributing to the deaths of these two people. However, there appears to be a link, and we are stating that there has been lawsuits

filed. And a meme has been created. Don't sue me, Sue Dan. Jessica Smetana, S-quire. I am a bit confused. I'm not a huge Panera Bread fan. So if there were anything that were killing people, I would not be interested in trying my hand at that.

When you told me, I thought it was one person. Now you're telling me it's two to did those people have previous heart problems is it is it linked to something that you're saying there might be a different connection point with the two not just the lemonade I think you're right I don't I don't think that Panera would continue to to sell its. If it thought that there was a link between caffeine, caffeine so charge that it kills people and making a drink more popular because people are talking about it and it's dangerous.

Maybe it's tarred because of the murder charge that goes along with it. That's why it's called tarred. All right, hold on. That's just a second here. Hold on. Hey. You can't see.

I like stew being like, no, I agree with you. It might be like, I would watch a detective show where Stu was the main detective. True detective. Yeah. No, it can't be true. It's true detective. I would take these two people and figure out

what else they have in common. What else did they do on the same detective? Oh, I'm true detective. Thank you. I can't be true detective. We got that. Stop it, day? Oh, I'm true detective. Oh, I'm true detective. What's that? Thank you. We got that. Stop it, guys.

We're talking true detective. You can't spell manslaughter without mans laughter. So I know for a fact that the first girl who passed away, she did have an undiscovered heart issue. So I don't think it's like every day people are just, well, they shouldn't probably be drinking this lemonade because it's like 300. She didn't know, allegedly, she didn't know I had caffeine in it

and same with the other guy. Like, neither of them were like, oh, I'm purposely drinking 300 milligrams of caffeine right now. So that is why they're suing Panera because they're like, this should be, there should be a warning label, like on cigarettes. Where they've accinated. Dangerous.

The thing that has surprised me recently that I cannot understand. I was at a restaurant that served my scale and I was ordering a drink. And on the menu, I did not have my glasses on. And this is where I discovered the very simple water of liquid death. I discovered it in a can and I've been told by friends of mine that it tastes differently, especially the flavored ones, but as a concept I found just sort of confusing, both advertising something as liquid death, then having it be water and I also don't ever want to drink water out of a can. To me, it doesn't taste the same as it does out of bottles.

And so I would think water in a can tastes worse, but I'd be wrong evidently, because liquid death is very popular. And I was wondering, is that marketing that's making it popular, or is it actually taste? So liquid death is very popular because of the marketing strategy. So it was like put together for the idea of being water for punks. It's mainly for the community.

No, listen, listen, listen. It's mainly for the community of people who they are sober, but they are going out to bars and they don't want to hold a bottle of water at a bar. If you're holding a can, people aren't going to bother you as much. People aren't going to know you're drinking water. Looks cooler. Yeah. It's all going to know you're drinking water.

It looks cooler. Yeah. It's all marketing, and it's been unbelievably successful. But it's also made to look purposefully, I would imagine, as an energy drink as well. One of the popular cans that looks like an energy drink of some sort. But the water itself, when I was drinking it, it tasted, it did not taste to me, like water usually takes when I drink it out of a bottle. It didn't taste better.

I would say it changed. It wasn't even that it tasted worse. I just preferred the other experience of not drinking from something that's aluminum or metallic. I didn't like it. And so I'm asking you, you think it's marketed to both people who don't wanna look like they're not drinking liquor and also want to look cool because I don't want to look like they're not drinking liquor and also want to

look cool because I don't believe anyone looks at anyone drinking a bottle of much of anything and says that person is cooler than I thought they were before they were holding that. You don't have an Instagram. You don't get Instagram aesthetic. Like liquid death is for like, it's for the look of it. It's a huge popular thing. You don't get it.

You don't get it. You don't get it. You don't get it. You don't get it. You don't have you don't have an aesthetic on Instagram Dan I can see you let's put together I take no insult from what it is that you're saying you're correct I don't drink my water to look cool on the ground. That is a correct appraisal Because I'm thirsty lame. I would like to go back to something that you don't you say you don't like water out of a can What about like a can of celtzer? You know where you buy those, those box it, like I love a polar celtzer in a can, luquois. Why would you like that in a plastic bottle though?

We're saying a lot of it. No, no, no, actually, so, well, for celtzer, I prefer either the can or the big bottle. Now Dan prefers his drinks with a side of unrecyclable plastic is what he's saying. Oh, carboard box She is right. Well, she's got me on that one evil out of test Dan levittard. She has got me on that one I don't often drink out of bottled water, but but when I do but when I do I kill the environment I'm Dan Levittard moral hypocriteite, telling you how to behave while drinking

my riches. You hate the environment, you don't have an aesthetic, you don't have an Instagram. What else can we get him for in the segment Lucy? Oh, well, you can get me in trouble by all the sponsors. You're going to get sued by Canara. Yeah. This is what dance car sounds like. If cool, self-serving. It's a rich person's horn right there. Yeah, look at it. Sure is. It's a rich person's own right there. Yeah, look at it. It sure is. So I'm just wrong. I am wrong.

Liquid death is the future. Liquid death is cool. No one objects to the idea of something being called liquid death as we talk about a lemonade that is actual liquid death. We think. It's all water and salt, or it's not killing anyone. I don't even like club soda out of a can.

All I drink usually is sparkling water. I try to drink sparkling water. Small bottle. And no, I don't drink like club soda out of a can. I don't, all I drink usually is sparkling water. I try to drink sparkling water. Small bottle. And no, I don't drink it out of bottle. Yeah, no, I try. Big question here. Is there a difference between sparkling water and club soda?

Yes. What? Yeah. What is it? Minerals. No. Yeah. No.

Minerals. Are you kidding me? No. This is blowing my, my earth, my world has been turned upside down. So when I order, when I say can I have a seltzer, or when I say can I have a club soda, they're not gonna bring me the same thing. Yeah. I'm not talking tonic water.

If you ask for seltzer, you'll get seltzer. Yeah, yeah, the seltzer. The whole soda, you'll get club soda. Let's clean the soda. Right. The little thingy, you know what I'm talking about? Put it on the poll at Labatard show is seltzer, Love soda you'll get close. Let's clean up. Let's clean up. The little thingy. You know what I'm talking about? Put it on the poll at Labatard show is Celts are the same thing as club soda because I

thought the same thing that you did. You're not alone here, Charlotte. I mean, is looking like a real expert on this, but I believe he's bluffing. I don't believe he knows what that's what I believe. Right. Look it up. I'm calling your bluff. Look, this is a poker game right here. Everyone is backed off. Let's see. Hold on a least right. Look it up. I'm calling your bluff. Look, this is a poker game right here.

Everyone is backed off. Let's see. Hold on a second. I'm standing strong with a name. Let's see. I don't know if he's telling the truth or not, but I used to work at a restaurant, and I'm realizing I definitely did not give people what they asked for. If a mean is telling the truth or not.

Oh my God. You people. A mean is right. There it is. A mean is right. Yeah. There are minerals in one and not in the other. Oh my god. That'd be a lesson for you. I fold. Don Lebatard. We like to call this one a chorus of Owen Wilson. Ready?

Stugats. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. This is Dalai Leverta show with the Stugats. I would like for us to start doing a segment where we present either a Miami thing or a Florida thing to Charlotte, to Lucy, or to Jessica, although Jessica is now discovering more and more Florida things that are no longer new to her But I want to have a segment where we are introducing Miami things or Florida things to Charlotte and to Lucy Do you want to explain Jessica to either Charlotte or Lucy what Yeehaw Junction is like what? Jessica was scared. This was you discovering Yeehaw Junction. It's so scary. It's so scary. Yeehaw Junction is where you end up if you forget to get off the turnpike

when you're going north up to Florida. Oh yeah. It's a swampy area. People don't understand that we're all built on marshland out here. And once upon a time, you couldn't go out certain parts out west out here. There wasn't development, but Yeehaw Junction felt to you underdeveloped, correct? It was just like I was like where am I right now?

We were on the turnpike going north and we were supposed to get off at Fort Pierce, I think, where like the turnpike in 95 intersect, missed the exit, ended up up way going out west, we're heading towards Orlando now, we don't wanna go towards Orlando, we're scared, we can't get off for another 80 miles. The next exit, Yeehaw Junction,

we get off at Yeehaw Junction, why is it called Yeehaw Junction? I googled it, there's a Wikipedia page, I don't remember the answer, but I read all about it. And there's a gas station there, and then you just have to go west and all, there's just like horses, and just an empty country road, all the way back to 95.

We are in the middle of nowhere. This is- I've lived to your mind entire life and I've never been to Yehaw Junction. It's, to me, it's something you pass on your way to Orlando. Is Yehaw Junction a town? I have like an old-timey village in my head. A village?

Yeah, where you can go in there, reenactments of like, here's what it was like. I got an old West like trading post. Some indoors. Or someplace like a video game called Yeehaw Junction and you build your own Western saloon. BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG

But is it town? Yep. I don't really know. It's like an interchange off of the turnpike. And it's just like literally in the middle of nowhere. Like the middle, like South Florida is so weird. So when you're in Miami, you're in Miami. And then as soon as you cross into Broward, you're in Florida.

It's like real. The street signs look different. Everything just feels different. And then you're in South Florida for another, I don't know, 60, 70 miles. And then you're in the middle. And you're like, what's going on here? Yes.

And then you're just like moving it along the coast. It's just everything changes. It's weird. And then there's to bokeh, you're like, what's going on here? Yes, yes. And then you're just like, everything changes. Everything's on the coast. It's just everything changes. It's weird. And then there's like the section of Florida where you're just like, this is not what you picture when you think of Florida. Like there's no beach. You're in the middle of the state.

There's just flat swamp and nothing. For miles. Well, you described it for those who did not hear it. You said, there's a gas station and then just marsh. Just, you mentioned the gas station, and I don't, but I'd have to think, and you get me a population or any information on yehaw junction,

because I do not think of it as a town. I think of it as a junction. I think of it as something that has a zip code. It is, but I wanna know how many people live in this area because it doesn't feel as you're traveling through it like there's a lot of life there? Here's a thought top five junctions they've been to a patchy junction Okay, I'm seeing as a one and can't think of another junction at the 240 people as of 2020 244 people small town

And that's a line at the bathroom at the gas station. It's tiny It's this weird and it's just this big interchange. And there's trucks everywhere and swamp all around you. It's very strange. It's not a town. It's technically a census designated place or a CDP. When you look it up, the second question it asks is what was the experiment at E.L.A. Junction?

Oh, boy. Oh, boy. We're looking at E.L.A. We're looking at E.L.A. We're not looking at E.L.A. Wait a. Oh boy. Oh boy. Timo. Biological warfare. Wait a minute. We're not looking at the experiment. We're looking at a famous landmark or the landmark in e-haw junction.

The only thing that we can do. Yeah, that's the motel. That's not a landmark. That's it. That's e-haw junction. Are you buying if that food's good? Like, oh, it's good. It says it on the signs.

Yeah, yeah. It says good food, Bob. I would never false advertise that. Can you play, it's the desert in Motel. It should be marsh, it is not desert, it's just deserted. Looks like this room. This reminds me of a place in Maine in this town in the middle of the state.

Well, sort of close to the, like an hour from the coast. Store's called Hussey's General Store. Hussies. Hussies. John Hussie. And the sign, as you drive up, says, we sell wedding gowns, guns, cold beer, and by golly, if they don't. You can buy all three of those things on the same floor.

And they have a wedding gown. They have one wedding gown there that is the lace, the veil is piped in camo. And there's a camo belt. Yeah. And Maine also has like territories that farther up you go, it'll just be like T are 90. You know, so that, so it's sort of the,

I feel like there's some similarities between the remote parts of the country, even if they're separated by many miles. There it is, Husseys. Can you guys tell me please what this experience, the cancer to the experiment is please, I'd like to. It's an incredible general store. Also, if you have a chance to go,

I highly recommend for it. I love a good general store, I do. They have everything. It's like a one stop shop and they have the old school candy. That's what I love most. If you want razzles, go to a general store. Saltwater tap, ooh. I mean, do you have for me please some more information on this junction

eha junction and what is you said the second question that comes up is what was the experiment that left us with eha junction i think they conducted an experiment it said a biological warfare experiment was conducted there that was supposed to determine the effectiveness of some chemical against wheat crops and time of war. This doesn't seem like a place you should probably be going and breathing in the air. This experiment was part of Project 112 and was labeled DTC test 6975. Stern-Marrast referred to as Agent TX was tested to determine its effectiveness against wheat crop and

time of war as Lucy just said. The test was conducted over a period of one month from October referred to as Agent TX was tested to determine its effectiveness against weak crop in time of war as Lucy just said. The test was conducted over a period of one month from October 31st to December 1st, 1968. Live agent was sprayed by US Air Force McDonald Douglas F4 Phantom fighter jets on seven occasions. Video has told me that the landmark that used to be a Yihau junction that we just showed to has now been destroyed. Oh, that's too bad. It was destroyed by one of the many trucks that flies through there,

not intending to stop at any point in Yeehaw Junction. These are the trucks that come between Miami and Florida, Miami and Orlando carrying God knows what. So just because there's no more good food or bar. No, no good food, no motel. Desert Inn is gone. Dan shame. And that is a giant to truck that is gone through the side of the building. Husse is just so wide. I was gonna say Husse's general store is okay, right?

I don't know. Are you sure? Husse is so gas too. So it's a gas station where you can get a wedding gown, beer, and razzles, and guns, and razzles, and guns and razzles, and saltwater tennis. And also like fishing supplies and basically anything you, you had junction doesn't have any of this.

Right. So this is an elevated situation, I suppose, is what? Now Charlotte, do you think if we asked the people at Husseys, they could tell us, like, have you had any customers come in and say, one of each, please? That's a good, actually. A wedding dress and a gun. I wrote about this place when I worked at Boston.com a million years ago, and I went, and I was

more focused on new people actually by wedding dresses at all. What? Yeah, because- There, oh there. There. Oh, you know. It doesn't seem like the experiment you want. Even if your pro guns. It doesn't seem like the experiment you want. Even if you're pro guns, it doesn't seem like

the experience you want. Why not? Well, what do you mean why not? You go there, you crack open a cold one, they show you the different gowns that they have. This one has camel on the piping. And while you're doing that, you can also take a look at some AR-15s or others.

They don't sell those. And hunting rifles. Is everything for everything for Shack Unwitting? There you go. Hey, you ever mess around and get in trouble? Like, no, don't worry. We got everything here. You can't have a cold beer, though. Only the groom. Look at the grin right now on. You know what a Shack Unwitting is? Look at the groom. Look at the grin on Chris Cody's face there. The last time that I saw him look,

you're not someone who is just delighted on your face all the time, but you told me the other day that someone had done something in sports that you considered sweet. You were looking, you looked like a little boy. He looks like a sweet. You look, he does like sweets. You look like a little boy. You looked like sweet, Jimmy. You looked like sweet.

You looked like a little boy gazing at the television, smiling because something was it in football that happened, something cute happened in the middle of all the carnage, where you were just delighted and you were a little boy, just so pure, delighted by sweetness in sport. Yes, I saw a player help his teammate with his pad, the shoulder pad thing, and I was like, aw, and it got me thinking,

where in sports do we go? Aw, so I wrote down a few. Oh, you got a list? Oh wow. In football, when they take the grass, that if someone else is helping it. Oh, legal pad, you have a legal pad? Could you're the executive producer?

I mean, I took notes. I didn't want to be looking at my phone, so I wrote it down. All right. out of someone else's helmet. Legal pad, right? You have a legal pad? Could you hear the executive preaching? I mean, I took notes. I didn't want to be looking at my phone, so I wrote it down. All right. The one in the, in football, it's the fixing of the shoulder pad or the taking the grass out of someone's helmet.

Oh, you don't see this as here. Let me get this for you. I bet if you help another guy up, like a opposing player. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I love that. I love that. That's not sweet, that's soft.

MJ would never. In baseball, when the manager's walking out to do a pitching change, he does the little clap right before he takes the ball. Just a little hay. Hey, good job, that are you. Job well done. Good job, man.

It wasn't your day, little clap. That's always cute. I don't know if I awwn that, though. I have something better in baseball, though. What's up? Batter steps into the batter's box, gives the catcher a little tap on the knee jacks. Oh, yeah.

Hey, good to see you. Hey, hey, Ben, how's the family? Love that. I don't think many of those are all that sweet though. I don't. In golf. When the caddy is like the players about to hit and there's a little no. Hey, quiet, please.

That's not sweet at all. That is sweet. That's it. That is not it. That is not it. That is not a moment. I am defending my golfer. Isn't that his job?

My golfer needs quiet right now. Hey, quiet please. The all sound that I make is, oh come on man, just golf. Boundary setting is something that you find sweet. Telling a gallery to be quiet. I like someone looking out for their guy. He's jingling keys over there. Stop jingling the keys.

He needs to concentrate. Get out of here. In hockey, whenever they do kind of like a salute to service thing, all the players, they tap on the ice with their stick. Oh, I do like that. Goose bumps. I love the hockey stick.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Or, you know, when they're on the railing, right? Yes. Yeah, really good. I'm struggling in basketball to find anything. I think basketball just like the pregame high fives. Well, isn't it just as nice?

Isn't all the slapping of fives after free throws, after missing free throws? Like after making free throws. Yeah. Like when the guy comes from the behind the three point line, taps the guy in the butt. Doesn't even see it coming. You know what I like?

I like the post game kind of mingling of everybody. Where they cover their mouths. That is my favorite part. I love when guys on opposing teams hug each other. Yeah. I saw last night I was at heat hornets and there's a bunch of hornets after the game or hug and he's and I'm like I always like to wonder do you guys know each other at all?

I think who was I thought I saw Cody Martin hugged Jamaal cane and I'm like do you guys know each other or is it just You think they don't know each other. I think sometimes it's just like a guy you seen around like what's up man? I respect yeah up for a hug Yeah, I think sometimes it's just like a guy you've seen around like what's up man? Respect. Yeah. Up for a hug? Yeah. I try. That's all a moment.

I try to hug you around here all the time and you, uh-huh, you slither away from me. I don't like it. She can'ts around here. Yeah, which is exactly the boy who gives me a firm handshake. That's what I like. I try to hug you and you're just all like physical and symbolic sand vapor. Oh. Oh.

Don Lebertard. All like physical and symbolic sand vapor. Oh, the. Don Lebertard, all of us who were watching college football elevated everything the weekend was because we missed football in general so very much. You didn't watch the ending of UTEP Jacksonville State. It was awesome. A dizzy bomb. Stugats.

Such a lame for you. Just everything in college football is awesome any single thing that happens she gets Deliriously happy about don't you miss viewing sports through that that prism though like I'm envious of Lucy like I wish that I could still be happy This is the down lebertar show with this to got Lucy the moment we've all been waiting for, the reveal of our new name. Should we reveal our new name? We don't have the graphic for it,

but we promised people at the Watch Party we'd tell them this week. A lot of people were chanting foot at us. We did not like it. We said we are done with foot girls. Officially, stop chanting that at us. Do not yell. Let me see your feet at us while we're on stage. I did that.

At the watch along, Mike Ryan, you will burn in hell for your sins. We will never say the F4 again. Never. The worst four letter F4 I can think of. How do you feel about our new name? I like it. You like it? I wish we would have this was a suggestion from Mike Fuentes and we probably should have taken it earlier.

I think we considered it but we were like, you know, maybe something better will hit us and then nothing better hit us. So we were like, this was a solid choice all along. We were basically like Jim Harbaugh with the NFL offers. We were like, we're going to play the field. See what comes in. Yeah. Oh, it wasn't what I thought.

Let's go to Michigan. Do you like the new name Taylor? Do you know what it is? I love it. You love it? Yeah, my phone just pitched it to me early on. All right. How do you want to... I'll count you down.

I'll do like a drum roll. Ready. Five. Four. Three. Two. One. Welcome to Gin CFB.

Boom. Boom. If we had a graphic, it would pop up right now. It would look so fancy. So fatty. So fireworks. If you're watching on video, close your eyes, audio people, imagine it.

Angel's working on it right now. He's been very busy, making t-shirts and stuff for the merch store. So it's been working. We have a new name. It's Gen CFB. I think it's great. Like, generation, not like Jennifer.

Yeah. Important distinction, because you can't see it written out. So I thought I'd share that. G-E-N-C-F-B. Is it one word or two? I think it's two or two, maybe it all caps. Yeah. G-E-F-B.

It doesn't acknowledge that we're women at all. I think that's pretty sick. I think that was what we were looking for all along. I like that. We don't have a lot to talk about today. We do. I didn't even realize until like one second before we were taping this that currently it's December 14th, which means that there's bowl games in like less than whatever 12 hours

from when you're listening to this because this comes out a little bit after we record it. Lucy, I haven't made my picks yet. I'm excited. I'm nervous. I'm scared. There's like seven bowl games before our next segment, which is when I was like, oh, we should do all

our bull game recap then. No, that's too late. We should have done it now, but we didn't. I had to do my pick-ups yesterday, and it was like a nice, like, swift kick in the ass from a friend who was like, hey, you need to get this done. Because I noticed it for the first time last year

because normally you'll start off the bull season, like, decently soon, but it's like some, you know, group of five schools. Not that group of five schools aren't awesome and they're the best and we love them. But like we don't really start seeing some of the bigger names until, you know, later. Like after the first week and sometimes.

But we've got, we've got like a UCLA boys, he's a state game I believe on that. The LA bowl. The Grock bowl. Yeah. We've got so many opt-outs, so many people in the portal, so many coaches that have left. Like you see a LA's defensive coordinator is gone,

their quarterback is gone, one of their quarterbacks, I should say, a bunch of their starters are out, and then Boise State's coach got fired like a month ago, and they have a new coach, like it's so confusing. I don't know how people make picks for ball games anymore, including myself. It was hard. So tough, shameless plug.

Someone bought a cameo for me, and you can do that if you want to give your love to the ball. You're on cameo? Yeah, the weirdest Christmas gift you can imagine. One, I'm gonna like, I don't know who that is. And they were like, we want you to introduce our ball pickums, like help us. That's a great idea.

And I went through and I was like, brother, I don't know. And they're up to now. They're up to now. They're up to now. It doesn't mean we love it less. I like it because it's just like a cute little preview for next season. You see somebody who's like, oh, they haven't played much,

but they'll be a starter next year. But yeah, tough to do bull pickups these days. There is a running tally, I think action network has one right now with all of the opt-outs and all of the players that have gone in the portal and all the coaches that have left from each team. It doesn't really make it any easier because it's like, okay, this team's backup quarterback is playing and this team's third string quarterback is playing. Good luck.

You're kind of just guessing regardless based on a few of them, the spreads are huge and maybe you'll just pick a favorite in that case. That's a good strategy, I suppose, but you just don't know. A lot of it's like conference vibes. It's all vibes. Teen vibes, like who's gonna be excited to play in this? Who's not? Just go with the vibes.

That's my advice if you're doing a bull pick them this year. You're looking back, who's feeling the cheesiest out of these guys? Chees, cheese, cheese, cheese! And see you stay. Okay, so there was a ton of stuff that happened this last weekend. You went to the Army Navy game. I did.

You thought it was interesting. It was a very fun game. It was probably not a game that I enjoyed as much as the other people. I didn't have any sort of attachment to either team. And it didn't really feel like the type of game where I could like pick a side and switch and do that, find a little thing. Definitely didn't want feel like the type of game where I could like pick a side and switch and do that Find a little thing definitely the one that works well. So it was very like I know one of my family has served I certainly haven't served when look at me So there was you are serving all the time girl, but it's an awesome experience

You should see if be like if you are a big if you're you know really patriotic and if you love football Like if you enjoyed the pageantry and those you love football, like if you enjoyed the pageantry and the traditions of college football, then it's the game you should go to. Because the singing of the songs at the end of the game, the pressure or swap, all the flyovers, all the parachuters, it's really an awesome environment. Just tailgating-wise, it wasn't the best for content, but it doesn't want to talk to you. It doesn't mean it was bad. It just means that those people represent our military

and then probably being drunk on camera isn't a good idea. It literally just means more. Yeah, it just means way more. And the game itself, it was weird. That's what I expected. It was weird. It was odd. For the regular season of College Football

to end with a safety, it was like Kirk fairness threw it up himself, man. It was beautiful. It was perfect. Speaking of your buddy, they posted the Iowa offensive coordinator position on the internet for people to apply to. So someone should apply for Lucy on her behalf. Yeah, so I will not be applying because if you put a list of the people that Iowa fans just like the most, I think if you did number one, it might be me and then number two

might be Brian. No, Lucy. Just like some weird people online. Man. Everyone loves Lucy. I'm not gonna apply to that. Ta-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da- I choose any beliefs fake because I don't want to. I like your Paul Christ. Paul Christ, I've also heard that one. Both of them make sense because both of them, like, for real. So they have to post the job because it is a public university job.

So get in your applications now, get in your jokes. If the last guy is any measure of what the qualification is, just write your dad's name. I was gonna ask you, like what? What do you think is like the ideal candidate, other than son of Kirk? son-in-law Nephew, I don't know there's a lot of relatives you could choose for I don't know if he has a brother

I don't know Well the other thing that happened this weekend other than I watched a little bit of the FCS Playoffs they're very fun to watch it right now the semi-final is going on probably right after you listen to this, but the Heisman show was on Saturday night. And I have to say, probably the first time maybe in my life I didn't watch it, because I just like, I've watched the show a lot in the shows very long and I kind of am like, I don't know if I need to watch the show, I kind of just will find out via ESPN notification who won. But that's not to discredit Jane Daniels

who I thought was a very deserving husband when he finished the season with 3,800 passing yards, a thousand over a thousand rushing yards, 50 total touchdowns and only four interceptions leading this LSU team, not to nine, a nine and three record, which probably think like, okay, little lackluster for a Heisman quarterback to not be in the playoff conversation late in the season,

but like he won some big games for LSU, and I don't think he's the reason that they lost any of those games. No, there was a great tweet. I don't wanna take credit for it, but I can't remember who. No, there was a great tweet. I don't want to take credit for it, but I can't remember who wrote it right now. And it was about how Jane Daniels had photos of himself in his jacket, like doing the Heisman pose,

and then how Michael Pinnock Schoener had the name of the team. He was teammate. And they were like, well, Jane Daniels, he made Scott, and he's not gonna put the defense in there. What did I do? Not my tweet, I wish I could remember who wrote it because it was so funny.

The whole, Jane Daniels had served the Heisman, that was the right choice. He had an my tweet. I wish I could remember who wrote it because it was so funny. The whole, J. Nino's Observe the Hedgeman, that was the right choice. He had an electric gear. It's just, hey, you didn't have this supporting cast. We've seen it before. The only like real, I watched it. And it's like, why do you tune in before 8.53? Like, I don't know why you would do that.

The only moment that I liked was when Bonix's mom was like subtly talking shit about Auburn. And I was like, yeah, hell yeah, sister. Let it all out. She was like, it was like, he actually got to go to college when he went to Oregon. That's like, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, love it. Yeah, the Heisman Awards ceremony just like doesn't really feel as like flashy and fun anymore.

I watched the college football award ceremony the night before. They got to do something to make that more fun. Boy, they got to do something to make that more fun. Boy, they gotta do something to make that more fun. That was like, oh God. I think what the thing that was interesting about all the finalists this year, except for Marvin Harrison Jr. was like all three quarterbacks are transfers

and all of them in their second year with new teams. Like they all, for the most part, like had good seasons last year, but then like this season, like I thought all were deserving of being there as finalists. And so that's kind of an interesting thing. Not that transferring isn't a new thing in college football, even though we kind of act like it is,

like Baker Mayfield was a transfer. Just in fields was a transfer. This has been happening for a while, especially at the quarterback position, but I think it is notable that three of the best quarterbacks this year were all guys who, I think especially especially like, Bohn Nix's case really struggled with his first choice.

And so he had the opportunity to leave and go somewhere else and excel there. And it's cool to see people in that position have a second chance to pick a better fit or go somewhere where they are able to have more success. Like Michael Penix went to Indiana. He was an electrician in the NFL. Oh yeah.

2020 year was crazy. He made Tom Allen a lot to Indiana. He was an electrician in Indiana for about 20, 20 years. Crazy. Made Tom Allen a lot of money. And he was like super fun to watch, but like how did injuries? And like there's a, there was a ceiling at Indiana with Tom Allen. I think maybe like they think that could be higher now that they've made some new hires with that program. But like he wasn't going to make it to the playoff with Indiana when he was

there. But he goes to a place like Washington and Kalen DeBor is a coach that, yeah, they got a couple guys in the portal, but they're also really good at recruiting, he's really good at developing talent, and it was just like the perfect fit for Michael Penex, so I thought he was also a super deserving candidate. I don't know, I really like the Heisman,

I'm not one of those people who's like, oh, this is just ceremonial, blah, blah, blah. Of course it is. That's all of the football. I do think it should be an award that takes place after the national championship, though. And absolutely should. Christian McCaffrey will always be my answer

for, like, hey, it should happen after bowl games. Like, come on, be so serious right now. Yeah. And Sean Watson was my answer for that, but that didn't age well. Who? I've never heard him. Yeah, the Heisman is like, it's what call it for was.

It's pompous. God, I really wish that they would just, you know, hey, don't tune in until this time. Don't tell me to start today. It doesn't start today. It's like when they were announcing like the playoff finalists, I was like, all right, the show starts at 12. Just tell me when you're gonna put the final four on

because it was like 12.30 when that happened. I could have spent that 30 minutes not sitting watching people just talk about stuff I've already heard every week for the last eight weeks. And like, where was the explanation of why Iowa punter Tory Taylor wasn't there? I didn't talk about anybody else. He wasn't in the conversation.

You unanimous on American. I'm tired. I think Iowa Notre Dame We were tied for most shadowed us Joe Alton Xavier Watts from Notre Dame, Cooper DeGene Americans, George Hayley. Look at us! Look at us better than everybody else. Uh, it's everyone on the playoff. We're gonna be back with another segment of J.F.B. After this break, I like that little air horn thing. Thank you.

But also it was like a dog. Yeah, it's time to wear more like a dog. It was like, that was Georgia fans after. It was like a real like sad. Don Lebertard. Bluehole. Number one. I can tell you.

Trooping my both self. I can't play a little tit-a-crazy. You cannot give me enough fake, little hole, saying any number. Troop it my balls off. We're- You can't give me enough. Stugats. Joule on the microphone.

I'm not sure what you're going to pass the fire to avoid the eating mind're going to be. I'm not sure what you're going to be. I'm not sure what you're going to be. I'm not sure what you're going to be. I'm not sure what you're going to be. I'm not sure what you're going to be. I'm not sure what you're going to be. I'm not sure what you're going to be. I'm not sure what you're going to be. I'm not sure what you're going to be.

I'm not sure what you're going to be. I'm not sure what you're going to be. I'm not sure what you're going to be. I'm not sure what you're going to be. I'm not sure what you're going to be. I'm not sure what you're going to be. I'm not sure what you're going to be. I'm not sure what you're going to be.

I'm not sure what you're going to be. I'm not sure what you're going to be. I'm not sure what you're going to be. I'm not sure what you're going to be. I'm not sure what you're going to be. I'm not sure what you're going to be. I'm not sure what you're going to be. I'm not sure what you're going to be. I'm not sure what you're going to be. I'm not sure what you're going to be. I'm not sure what you're going to be. on the college football playoff Lucy and he was getting made fun of for it. It was like nothing is he said was that particularly crazy? I mean I didn't read it at first because this man it was like very clearly like I got PTSD flashbacks so like when I was in college and I got dumped and I was like I'm going to tell everyone how I feel.

I'm going to tell everyone how I feel. He went to the no tap and typed out just this like giant Michigan manifesto about why he thought out, or not even why he thought I would be able to better than Florida State, but just why he. Is that what it was about? Because I'm gonna be honest, I didn't read the whole thing either, which is why I think we should do a little bit of performance art here where we read this long ass tweet

back and forth, like-by-line alternating for the next 10 minutes because I think that actually might be how long it takes. It's very important that we do this before we start little context. This was in response to a Florida state fan who tweeted something mean at him this Florida state fan had 30 followers. So that was the nice. Also, the tweet was a reply to a picture of Kirk Herbstreet's dog. He was having a day. And we all have them. There are days where I want to do this. OK, so now for the dramatic reading of Kirk Herbstreet's very long tweet.

I wish we could turn the lights off. About the, yes, please give us some mood lighting for the next eight and a half minutes. This is going to take a, I hope people are ready. This is an audiobook. This counts as reading a book this week, if you listen to this. Lucy, do you want to do the honors? Okay, ready? We'll go send some, so I'll sort of.

Because Alabama is better. Period. So is Texas. So is Michigan. So is Washington. So is Oregon. So is Georgia. I watched 10 to 15 games a week live from September, early December. I think I'm allowed to have an opinion on who I think is Georgia. I watched 10 to 15 games a week live from September early December.

I think I'm allowed to have an opinion on who I think is better. If FSU doesn't like it fits this for, tell the conference commissioners to change the protocol to most deserving. Until then, I and everyone else is certainly that... I don't know if that's grammar correct. Okay, sorry. None of it is. And. And everyone else is certainly allowed to give an opinion in a subjective discussion. Don't like it, change it. It's funny when FSU went ahead of the U in 2000 after Dorsey and the boys beat the Noles

and FSU went instead of a deserving Kane's team to the BCS championship where they lost Oklahoma. I didn't hear from all of you about the system being rigged and it's not fair. There's no punctuation there. You were big fans of the turnout back then, of course most of you, in this despicable lunatic fringe probably didn't even know about 2000,

when the Noles got the benefit over a great Miami team. Listen man, I have always loved FSU going back to the 80s. Bobby Bowden, the Unis, the swag, the consistency, something about that brand I was always attracted to, and what happened with five to six teams having a shot at the playup and the noils being undefeated and left out sucks

But I have to give an opinion on who I think the best four teams are. I'm not on the committee I don't vote. I watch games. I analyze teams and I give my take That's it and if you think I have an agenda or a motive I'm sorry you feel that way, but it's wrong I love this sport and I care about it deeply and I can't make everyone happy I ask questions of the commissioners and the offseason to understand things clearly Watch games and give my opinion. It's such a long sentence. It's for you. If it's for your team, you love me and if it's against it, you hate me. I wish it were different and hopefully next year with 12 teams it will be.

I'm a huge fan of Coach Novel and his team and wish noles. Nothing with the best. Boom. We went through that pretty fast, and I know we thought it would take a long time, but that's because I thought there was going to be some punctuation. punctuation. So many dashes. I thought it was gonna be like a comma in there every once

and while there was not man. Kirk with just. His job, like look, I don't agree with everything. Kirk Herb Street says, I don't agree with anything that anyone says, except myself and my own brain. I have the only good takes. The only right one's just kidding. But actually, his job must be terrible

because people yell at him no matter what he says. And that's, I get it because there are so many times I want to lose my mind on a fan. So I don't judge Kirk Herb Street for responding. I do, I do think you should have just like, let's bring the kitchen and drafts. Put it in drafts, wait an hour. Yeah.

Or, you know what, just go with a simple like screw you. F off. We don't need to do the whole thing. Yeah. But it was still beautiful. Thank you. I enjoy when people just lose it on random people replying to pictures of their dogs on Twitter

because I've been there. Lucy and other news, that was fun. That was actually really fun, I quite enjoyed it. We need to do, like we did a little bit of role play with Pat and our doozy earlier this season. We need to bring that back. We need to do a little bit more of this performance art. I enjoy it.

There's been a ton of stuff, portal related stuff happening the last couple weeks. Live by the portal, die by the portal, as I say. There's a ton of quarterbacks in the portal out of the portal. Tyler Vandike, formerly of the University of Miami, Hurricanes, is going to Wisconsin. Actually, Taylor, I've been meaning to ask you about this

because he's going to Wisconsin where Luke Fickle's a head coach had struggled a lot this season with their new offensive coordinator Phil Longo, who formerly was a offensive coordinator for the North Carolina Tar Heels. What are your offensive coordinator Phil Longo, who formerly was a offensive coordinator for the North Carolina Tar Heels. What are your thoughts on Phil Longo? There was a lot of complaints with the Phil Longo offense and how it was very good from

the 20 to the 20, but once teams kind of got condensed into the red zone and knew that Carolina couldn't really run the ball effectively, that was kind of the disconnect with the Phil Longo offense because statistically, you look at the numbers he put up, there were always a top 25 scoring offense, a top 25 total offense and he got Drake May to Carolina, he got Sam Howell to Carolina. So I do think he has shown the ability to get really good quarterbacks. But there are some hangups with his offense and the production that you get out of that. Well, I'm put a Taylor on the spot and he was ready for that. And so, Carolina,

well, the thing, we kind of briefly talked about earlier this year, the thing with Wisconsin is like, they are changing a little bit of their like longstanding Wisconsin identity by hiring Phil Longo. And now bringing in Tyler Mandike to kind of run this offense where Tyler Mandike was super successful his first year with Miami and then has really struggled. But he's also had like 5,000 different offensive court.

He's at a different offensive coordinator every single year that he's played. So I don't think, and he was super injured this year. There was like that report that like his muscle on his his calf was detached from the bone or something was disgusting. I don't know if you heard that during the Louisville game, but it was very yucky. But the main complaint I think about Wisconsin offense this year was that it was this weird mixture of, weird identity of this mixture of things

that Wisconsin should be better at and wasn't and didn't have really any sort of identity for lack of a better term. And they also didn't really have a great experience with the quarterback that they got in the portal last year from SMU. So this is interesting. This is something to look at. I will say as an Iowa fan, I try to be nice.

I wasn't, I wasn't devastated when I saw that he was transferring to Wisconsin. I wasn't like, oh, man, that's going to be a huge problem down the line. Wisconsin, like you said it perfectly and Lucfield was coming in completely tried to change the identity of Wisconsin, which is crazy because like if you look at like big 10 wins over the last 10 years, yes, Ohio State Michigan, and then it's always Wisconsin. They were like the most consistent team in college football. I understand, hey, we have the identity, and that's something that Iowa fans

struggle with as well. We want to be better than what we are. I think it's Wisconsin needs to get back to doing what they do best. And that's having huge offensive linemen. That's run the ball. You had one of the best running backs in all college football.

I don't know how much Tyler Randike fits the system. I do know that they're not in the big team West anymore, but I think he'll have a lot of problems with big 10 defenses. But I hope he does well, except for against Iowa. There's also Dylan Gabriel went to Oregon this past week. That's going to, that's going to be something to keep an eye out for. This is a third team that he's played against, but he did very well at Oklahoma, I thought, and now he's going to be joining Dan Laning staff.

I feel like Oregon, even though they lost both opportunities to beat Washington this year, I bit of a darling. They've done a lot of good NIL things. I think Dan Laning is a coach that a lot of people like and want to succeed. And now Dylan Gabriel is going to be in the Big 10. Lucy. Oh God. Joining that Oregon team. Cam Ward, Kyle McCord, DJ, Wuyungle Leigh, and now Malik Murphy, all huge quarterback names all in the portal.

Riley Leonard transferred from Duke to Notre Dame. If you're a fan of storylines in college football next year, Notre Dame is playing Texas A&M. At Kyle Field, Mike Elko, former Duke head coach, former Notre Dame defensive coordinator, playing against Marcus Freeman, Notre Dame's head coach, who is now going to be coaching Duke's former quarterback, Riley Leonard. There's so many storylines here. It is going to be a fascinating like what the their spies everyone talking about Duke this week and that's why it's gonna be great Jimbo Fisher's gonna watch somewhere from his yacht and the big transfer portal news this weekend when Malik or we when Malik Murphy entered the portal immediately my brand was like he's

going to Ohio State he's going Ohio State I first when yours he something in my gut tells me he is going to Ohio State I He's going to Ohio State. I first, when you were, he's something in my gut tells me he is going to Ohio State. I had the same feeling about K-Mac and Mara. Also, my new Grayson McCall was gonna go to NC State. Like that just made the most sense. I don't know. Yeah, if he put all the NC State quarterbacks together for the last like 10 years,

you just get Grayson McCall. Yeah, they had also had a portal quarterback last year running an Armstrong from Virginia, who was like, it didn't work out super well. Like their offense wasn't great this year. They had a pretty good defense, though. And they finished the season like quietly. I would say, nine and three, I think, which like no, NC State was not on anyone's radar.

But Grayson McCall has been in Colch football for like, I don't know, six years at Coastal. Now is transferring not far to NC State to play in Raleigh. So one of the reports about Grayson McCall is he originally wanted to transfer to Carolina when before Drake May was taking over as a starting quarterback, but the coaching staff was like, no, we're pretty confident with Drake May. So the Grayson McCall revenge game, it's already on the calendar and he will beat Arthur Caroline. We're putting a future on that.

I like that analysis from Taylor. My team's going to lose this game. That's how I feel. That's I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure.

I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure.

I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. Louisville. But, Lucy, we're going to do more bowl picks next week because we should have done them this week and then instead of like doing any sort of homework, yesterday we baked cookies. We did! Well, just baked cookies and then I put them on the paper.

You know, we baked them together. You baked them and I sat and I entertained and then I put them on the paper. They were very good though. They were great. Yeah. I had a good time. They were great. Yeah. I had a good time. We should do that again. We should do it again.

Hand girls. All right, I think we're gonna leave you with our hands. Nope. No, you're right. That's sad. We don't want that either. All right, well, this has been fun. How much time do we have left, Taylor?

Oh, I can feel this. Let's do our, should we do a rapid fire of the first whatever bowl games? Yes, I, do we wanna do it at the same time? I, okay. Yes, let's yell out our names like on the count of three. Okay, so the first game is the Myrtle Beach Bowl, Georgia Southern and Ohio.

One, two, three, Georgia Southern. Okay, the second bowl is the New Orleans Bowl. Jacksonville State versus Louisiana. One, two, three, Jacksonville State. Ah! The Cure Bowl, Saturday, Miami, Ohio, App State, one, two, three. Jacksonville State, ah! The Cure Bowl, Saturday, Miami, Ohio, App State, one, two, three. App State, ah!

Three for three, New Mexico Bowl, New Mexico State, versus Fresno State, one, two, three. Fresno State, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God. Label, Boise State versus UCLA, one, two, three, Boise State, the independence pole, Texas, and Cal, Texas, ah! Ah! Ah!

and cow! Take this out! Ah! Ah! Ha ha ha!