The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz - Hour 1: Greg Cote Has A Dog Inside Him

Episode Date: April 23, 2025

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The Smirnoff Company, New York, New York. Greg, just a question may seem random to you. Who's more handsome, Andrew Hawkins or Method Man? I had never considered that in my life. I'm gonna abstain until I see a photo of both of them side by side. Excellent work on your feet. That's why he's the tap dancer that he is, an improv artist, all known to all. Which do you know what they look like less?

Actually, I did improv in my acting class and slayed Like everybody would think Christopher will tell you introduce Wu Tang clan be a song in Las Vegas at Circa Yeah, so you know what method man looks like I don't know Walter Walter yeah Walter keep working Walter who know what's his name Walter Hawkins Andrew? That's exactly I don't know him. I'm sorry. You're in the same stable. Walter Hawkins.

Wow, that went poorly. Former Browns receiver... Mogul? No, don't know him. Walter Hawkins. No. I'm going to ask him if he knows who you are. He works with us.

Why would he? Because he's our teammate? He does shows. Sorry, I can't know everybody. He's right about that. I mean, he's... He's right. He can't know everybody.

He can't know everybody. mean he's right. He can't know everybody can't know everybody right this is this is this a revelation You don't know what Andrew Hawkins looks like he has no idea. We're talking about Andrew Hawkins is a former Browns receiver, okay, I don't come in a nice career. He's been doing shows with us for months Years, okay, yeah Years I doubt that but I apologize to He's been doing shows with us for months. Years. Years. Years. Years. Years. I doubt that, but I apologize to Andrew. He has worked with us for years.

To be fair, not on a Greg Cody Tuesday or Wednesday. Thank you. I've never met him. I've never shared air with him. I now see him. He's a good looking man. Okay. Finally.

Very well trimmed beard. Is he better looking than method man. I Wouldn't say that. Oh wow, so we're just over to now Walter Where are we on George Clooney? Where are we on Cluny? There's an update. There's an update and This is a segment. I like to call Mike was right. I love those So you want to do it as a victory lap? No, no, no, no, no, especially, do I have to? Don't make me. I think you have to.

I don't want to, I don't wanna pretend I'm running. So, George Clooney, who has a die job, but is famously salt and pepper guy, a guy who owns the gray look, everyone here yesterday was having to go for him, not considering that, hey, George Clooney is doing this for a role. So here is him giving an interview to Gayle King talking about the die job in question.

I have to take a moment looking at you with the dark hair. I know it's not good. I didn't say it wasn't good. Oh, it's not good. It's drawing to me. I wonder what it's like for you when you get up in the morning and you look. By now I'm sure you're used to it. I'm not used to it.

You never get used to it. You don't? Listen, I started getting gray most of my it. But what- I'm not used to it. You never get used to it. You don't? Listen, I started getting gray most of 25. It throws me a little bit. Yeah. So I've been gray most of my life. So it's not my favorite look. And my wife, she thinks it's funny.

What do your children say? Well, they laugh at it because honestly, nothing makes you look older than being 63 and dying. Right there. Yeah. It's genuinely bizarre to have somebody makes you look older than being 63 and dying right there. It's genuinely bizarre to have somebody who's been a sex symbol for the last 30 years in this country

be uncomfortable because people are able to mock him as not attractive. I mean, where are we in life if everyone's having a go at George Clooney's appearance? Like, really? This guy could've perennially been sexiest man on the planet for several years running. He's a charming devil.

Even look at how self-deprecating he is there. Even with, I might've just fallen in love with dyed hair George Clooney, because I've long since been in love with silver fox George Clooney. He looks like a museum piece. Like, he looks like he's made of wax because of the hair. He needs a little wispy mustache to go with it.

It's like when people do those viral stunts where they're like we pretended to be homeless for a day to see how people it's like George Clooney's pretending to be ugly and now he's living his life as someone who's not hot and it's wow he's like this is terrible. It reminds me of my dad. Well Bill Cody when I was like a teenager and he was aging he's like, this is terrible. It reminds me of my dad. Well, Bill Cody, when I was like a teenager and he was aging, he's in his 50s or whatever, he had really gray hair, okay? He was the kind of guy who it would be totally gray one day

and then you would see my dad the next day and he would have shiny jet black hair. That was my dad. Your dad. That was my father. Your dad would like stun me with his eyebrows. No. Listen, my mother was mortified

because Poppy during his heyday leadership days would go from straight gray to straight black from one day to the next every six months or so. Yeah, you can't do that. You can't go like night to day. You gotta either stay on top of it or progress. That's shocking. Remember when Vince McMahon came out of hiding?

She's like, whoa! Why does he look like he's about to welcome you into a haunted mansion? My dad loved Grecian Formula was the name of the product. The funniest part was that nobody would say anything. He wouldn't explain his altered appearance no it could be spoken it couldn't be spoken what buried was it what is it with men of that generation I've never seen my grandfather he's I think 84 I've never seen him with a gray hair so I think he's got natural black hair the

entire time I don't know this is a this is Dan he went to the hospital Mike's father Mike's father has a perfect head of hair that doesn't have a gray hair in it. It's got some gray on the sideburns, but no, my dad is often accused of dying his hair, and I'd be all over that too. I've been trying to prove this one for a long time. No, not the case, although lots of Botox.

The Latin man, though, there's something happening here with the Latin man. Greg can go from, I think your mom has probably been frustrated by a couple of times where your dad has let it go too gray and then Sharply goes rust after that that McMahon photo is always shocking You cannot come out of hiding looking like that seems natural It's the mustache you cannot come out of hiding looking like that Greg Williams did it too though Like that may be the way to come out of you can't come out of hiding looking like that. Greg Williams did it too though. Like that may be the way to come out of hiding. You can't come out of hiding in a sense of crimes

with all of that. It can't be that. Thin mustache, that's the key. It's been suggested on the internet that this thin mustache was put in place to cover up a botch of some sort. Because if you've seen him since, he's done away with the mustache

and he looks much better than he did now. Like if you look around the lip, it is a little puffy. I think that this was a disguise to distract you from what was going on underneath. Yeah, I see that. Lopsided mustache. Stan Van Gundy apologizes profusely from a hotel in Houston. I told him he has nothing to apologize for. We have not had better segments than that recently.

In the middle of it though, because I'm trying to reach Stan Van Gundy and we've discombobulated, I discombobulated him, I believe we just witnessed Stan Van Gundy's worst public out of touch moment in the history of out of touch moments. I thought you were gonna say that's what he apologized for when you started saying he apologized.

I was like, oh, okay, I'm glad he like thought about it for a few seconds and was like, yeah, that was crazy. It's much better to get fired with millions of dollars than what the vast majority of people get, which is a swift kick in the ass out the door. If Samson had merely said what Stan Van Gundy was saying, he might not have been invited back. Oh please, yes he would.

Okay, well he said things similar, but even Samson texted me afterwards. He said way worse. Samson texted me afterwards. He's like, I've never even thought that. That is like so crazy. So we even asked him, have you ever been fired from a job

where you haven't been paid millions of dollars? And he cited Wisconsin, and we did some research. He apparently had four years left on a five-year deal when he was fired from Wisconsin. However, all of the articles in the Trib are paywalled, and I can't find a exact number, but I'm assuming they paid out his contract. So maybe it wasn't millions, but.

No, I don't wanna be tone deaf to the shame that comes with being fired. Like I've never had to deal with Shams tweeting out that I've been fired and then people say like, yet. Knock on wood. But there's that where you get a nice little multimillion dollar compensation package or the shame of your family leaving you

and not being able to afford a roof over your head or heat in the winter, or we have to give up the dog because I can't pay for the dog's food anymore, or asking a friend for a ride for work, or explaining this gap in your resume when you're trying to get another job. I mean, there is no comparison. Well a couple of things first of all I thought Stan Van Gundy was calling to apologize for his take that reading a book when

you haven't read a book is sort of weird but in this case you know what I agree with everything Stan Van Gundy said I think when you're fired and luckily I've never been fired I imagine that when you're fired, and luckily I've never been fired, I imagine that when you're fired you don't go first to, well at least I'm still making a lot of money, you go first to the ego blow and to the shame and to the embarrassment and maybe to the anger if you don't think you deserve to be fired. Because you don't have to. It doesn't have to be the first thing you think about because if you're in one of these

extremely lucrative jobs it's probably not something you think about, and that's the luxury of being fired with one of these high paying jobs. I am gonna have to make Stan Van Gundy, I'm gonna make fun of him when I talk to him, because I do understand how everyone heard that the same way I did with, oh poor Mike Budenholzer, now he has to listen to us say he's not a good coach.

By the way, I was saying he wasn't a good coach when he won coach of the year. He won 61 games in Atlanta and I didn't believe he was a good coach. He won Giannis the only championship he's going to ever win him and I don't believe he's a good coach. Someone please fire me and tell me I'm a bad coach. I want to be a fired college football coach. So bad. Tell me I suck. Write about me on the reddit message boards i don't care bad last name the by out uh... it's uh... bad last name for a coach yeah you can be a boon and holzer and expect to go through life success alright so so i think he's been pretty successful put it on the pole at

lebatard show can you be named boon and holzer and be successful uh... but i i want to go back for a second just quickly stan sounded out of touch as a competition aholic who's saying it's such a great shame to be fired, to be told by everybody, ridiculed, you're bad at your job, you failed, you failed you and your friends. But for him not to understand, I'm gonna lose my pet.

Mike Ryan created, concocted a sense of scenario where someone has been fired and can no longer afford to have a pet alive at redco d Wednesday so we have to clarify you mean a an animal not a fart yes good point just adjust an excellent point that you know that that person right no i don't know mike ryan said i i want i saw a story, I wanna give you guys some numbers here. Lewis Riddick's style in his beard. Is that a, he is, look at him.

He looks like a Lothario. I'm sorry, I broke into programming there. You did, but I'm looking at him now. No, he is absolutely. I need a spray bottle like you're an animal, and I just, stop doing that. Mike today is gonna watch more ESPN than he's watched in a long time because Kevin Clark and fine Bob are coming up here soon

But you guys have derailed me a little bit. What are you laughing about Chris coding the watch? Lewis Riddick is distracting. Yeah, it derailed me too, man Roy Yeah distracting distracting. Yeah, it derailed me too, man. Roy? Yeah. Distracting. Folks, listen up. They're here and they're hot. Get ready because Jimmy John's is turning up the heat. After years of perfecting the cold sandwich, toasted sandwiches are finally here. Try one of their three all new toasted creations. The toasted chicken bacon ranch, all natural chicken, creamy homestyle

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Don LeBattard. Baker Mayfield. Tearing per 12 ounces. Don Lebatard! Baker Mayfield tearing up Tampa Bay 38 for 45! Stugats! Shred him! This is the Don Lebatard Show with the Stugats! Can I under rail you and get you back on the subject of NBA coaches? Because the athletic put out there, they do this thing every year where they get a bunch of people to vote on like most overrated player and it's like other NBA players voting on it.

And one of the questions that they asked, there were 73 players that voted on this and said, aside from your own current coach, who is the worst coach in the league? So I was reading all of the results to all of these questions last night to Lehman, and I got to this one and I was like, I don't know who this person is, so they must be the worst coach, because I've never heard of them.

And I said their name to him, and he watches a ton of basketball, and he's like, I've never heard of this man in my life. But do you guys know who Brian Keefe is? No. No. No, I don't know who Brian Keefe is. Does anybody? No. No.

Who is Brian Keefe? Apparently he's the head coach of the Wizards. What? He must be really bad at that. He must be really bad at doing that. But when he loses his job, he's not gonna be talking to his wife saying, I think we need to take our daughter out of ballet.

It's a rich guy. I wanna run some numbers by you guys, as Mike Ryan, and thank you for the clarification, Jess, it is not a pet as in the Greg Cody household where they refer to farts as the letting of a pet. It's the actual loss of a pet, which is where Mike Ryan lost me and went a bridge too far. However, an article that I read, okay, about a pill,

and there are a lot of ethical questions around it, it's called loyal, it can extend the life of your pets. And when they did, ransom numbers, I was surprised by a couple of things. First of all, 47% of American households have a dog. Stunned by that. I did not think it would be that high. At LeBattard Show, 47% under or over American households that have a dog? Stunned by that. I did not think it would be that high. At LeBotard Show, 47% under or over

American households that have a dog. That's a wits and wagers question. Have you guys ever played the board game wits and wagers? I'm not even familiar. Oh my god, it's so great, Dan. It's a game where there's like these questions and every answer is a number.

So it's like, what percentage of American families own a dog? What percentage of Americans have tattoos? What year was the Sistine Chapel painted? Like things like that where it has to be an answer. That's a number. And then you write down your guess on a little whiteboard and you put it all in the middle.

Everyone lines it up from smallest to biggest. And then you wager on whose number is closest. And once you get going, you get a lot of money in the bank and you start wagering more and more, and you're like, I know what year the Mona Lisa was painted. I'm betting the house on this. But you can also put a fake number and try to get people off the set.

Because if my sister's playing with me and I'm like, she knows I know my art history, and whatever number I put down is gonna be close, I'm gonna put down a different number. Then we can play mind games with each other. Oh, it's the greatest game on earth. But this pet question was one of them. 47% sounds ridiculous.

It is ginormous and the other thing, what that was in it, how much do you think a gallon of milk weighs? How much do you think it weighs? Weighs? I know. Go ahead. Three pounds.

Wrong, you would have lost. I would have wagered the over and I would have won because it's like eight pounds. Really? It's crazy. This game blows my mind consistently. That's insane. Anyways, that's a plug for my second favorite game

behind Monopoly Deal. So you're welcome, everyone. But there are families that if you lose their job, that is one more mouth to feed. That service that feeds my dog is on auto pay. You're going to look at every single itemized thing in your bill and look at where to cut, and some people will settle on, yeah, I can't have my dog anymore.

The other number that surprised me, and again, it's an ethical debate because the pill has not been FDA approved, but it is lengthening the lives of pets. And this particular pill, some of the testing that they've done a 76% of pet owners 3-quarters of pet owners would go into debt for their pet What are you laughing about just the rhyme, you know, it was great just the rhyme And the rhythm you said it would go into debt for their pet. Three quarters of pet owners, and I'm assuming birds are in here too?

I love animals that way, but debt? Mike Ryan is concocting the scenario where you have to throw your pet in the street because you've been fired from your job. No, no, you could either give it to someone else or take it to a pound. I'm sure they'll be fine. I actually took that pill myself, because I got a dog in me. That dog.

Well, if you... I got that dog in me. It would have been so good if you nailed it. You have a dog in you? The and at very important. You have a dog in you? The and at very important. You have a dog inside of you. Yeah. Major penalty, five minutes, swooning comedy. You can hear his confidence.

I heard in your ear them say. Liar. Stugats, his headphones are so loud. I know they are loud. Where's the button to turn them on? He was so unfamiliar with the term that he was like that surely has to be improper grip it grammar The grammar just enough to ruin the joke. I have a dog in me There is a dog that is fully inside me

How do you not know how penalties work yes five minutes Yes five minutes Ever replay of him trying to push that door, I'll tell you what happened. Please get the replay Chris Don't wonder he doesn't know where drew Hawkins is He doesn't even Walter Walter Exit the studio. I like that There's some like scenario in an alternate universe where like Roy and Jeremy have never worked on the same day And they've never heard of each other.

Right. Right, yeah. Jessica, some of your coworkers yesterday got together for a party and I'm sorry I did not make it. I wished to make it, but I was told very late in the proceedings that such a party existed and I missed it in the Slack. I don't know where it was in the Slack.

Who attended that moved you? The people that had to drive a far distance moved me because I would not have done the same for them. It's a hard drive. Some people were on a red eye that morning. Some people showed up off a red eye from Vegas, and they looked pretty tired. And I said hmm

I'm surprised you're here, but then I realized this is a hair of the dog situation You got to keep it rolling. Oh, yeah, soon as you hit the pillow. Okay can't fix it But I was very tired I was very tired And I definitely needed that drink, but I also said, this means a lot to me. And it was just a normal Tuesday where we could drink, but that's all it was. Hey, let's go out and have a couple of drinks. I'm like, I need to be here for this,

because I love drinks. I have a dog inside of me. Just another Tuesday in Miami. Were you surprised by any of those numbers? 76% of pet owners would go into debt for their dog. Would you surprised by any of those numbers? 76% of pet owners would go into debt for their dog. Would you go into debt for Willow? Well, the reality is like owning a pet is really expensive. If something goes wrong, like I know Mike's dog had to get like a really expensive surgery done. And a lot of people are in the position where they're like, my dog is sick,

they go to the vet, the vet's like, you we need to do this like emergency surgery. If you don't, like your dog's gonna die or your cat's gonna die and it's gonna cost 10 grand and maybe you don't have that money just laying around. Most people don't and yeah, I could easily see why you'd go into debt paying for something, especially when it's like a life or death situation, you care about your pet

and you don't know what to do. Did go into debt paying for my dog who had an autoimmune disease and it was life-saving but she got it within the first eight months of her life. Turned out to be great because she's lived a happy and full life there, but it was 10 grand to save my dog's life in a single-income family. That was, you know, it wasn't easy.

So bad to get fired, because you might lose your pets. Yeah. Greg, how is it, Chris, and you helped me with this, because we have not done enough of a job today promoting your father's exactos, and your father's mock draft, and your father's podcast, the Greg Cody Show featuring Greg Cody. But you have seen, Chris, you've been front row seat

witness to today's show through Stan and Samson, careened live out of control for a long time and your dad spun out and then he spun out and tried to leave the studio didn't know how the penalty box worked anymore and tried to leave through a door as if he didn't understand how doors or the door called Andrew Hawkins Walter Hawkins not just on out nothing great for you in fairness and you Hawkins a generic name

Okay, if it's a if you have a particularly unusual name I'm more apt to place a face than if you have a name John Smith or you know Oh Hawkins is I only know one other how Andrew Hawkins is a very good-looking man So's method man they both look like they could be people sexiest man of the year. Okay, very good-looking man, so's Method Man. They both look like they could be people Sexiest Man of the Year. Okay, very good. I'm glad we finally closed the loop on that one. One thing that I wanted to do here today

before we got out of here is to remember and celebrate because the sports machine can move very fast and it seems, I don't think I have this wrong, more often than not we're talking around here about somebody who died. I don't know if it's more often than not. I would doubt that. It's too often, more often than we ever have, we're stopping to take a somber tone about somebody who left the mark on us in the sports world when Mike Patrick during a time in football when it was growing in this country when ESPN had the kind of signature voice for 18 straight years on Sunday Night Football

because ESPN was getting into the football game making it bigger and bigger in America one of the signature voices was Mike Patrick. And quietly, a great broadcaster for 20 years on Sunday Night Football. Somehow, I would say, escaped much of the withering criticism that will come down on the head of every broadcaster today, including Al Michaels, because,

oh, your tone's not good there, your energy's not good, you sound like an old man, get out of the way, old man. Mike Patrick, universal praise, dies at the age of 80, and Mike, I don't know what you associate with him, but what I associate with him is talking to him, hearing his dulcet voice, and then being surprised when he said what a rigorous smoker he was. Like that I just, I just being taken aback just assuming that he would be somebody who would,

who would always protect those blessed pipes. I loved Mike Patrick on ACC basketball. Did a lot of great memorable games with Dick Vitale. I saw Dick Vitale posted a tribute to Mike Patrick when he was the voice of Sunday Night Football paired with Joe Theismann. And I know people had some feelings and they were replaced. But for me, that was when I was in high school watching Sunday Night Football and it was marquee game and he was the voice attached to it.

And he was one of my favorites. I love that broadcast team. I thought they were hilarious. I love Mike Patrick's style of doing those games so I was made very sad by that. I know he hadn't been doing it for a while and yeah it's just another reminder that the older that you get the more of these people that have had influence on your life, on your career even, are gonna go. Do you know how rare it is these days when criticism is the main sport to be a broadcaster that can live your lifespan and then die and you will not hear very much of a bad word as any of

that was happening? Like even even Joe Buck, like a child prodigy, is viewed as someone that oh he doesn't root for my team or he's partial if you're always broadcasting the games I just I don't think that people understand how difficult it is to be someone who is Quietly professional in the broadcast space never to look at me So it never becomes Gus Johnson or whatever it is has personality that evolves the game but doesn't stay totally out of the way of the game because Mike Patrick was sort of like Vern Lundquist in this space where you're like oh my god his voice reminds me of a Saturday afternoon or a Sunday night. Raspi it seems like he's

got a drink in his hand. It sounds like he might be wearing a broadcaster, colorful broadcaster coat, and I might hear the tinkle of a glass of ice. He's calling Sunday Night Football. There might be a reason for that. There might be a reason that that type of broadcaster that reminds you of, hey, they could be doing this with a cocktail in their hands.

It's because they probably were back then, because it was more acceptable. And we're never getting those guys back. Guys with that vibe don't exist anymore. Who's allowed to skate now? I say this, I'm asking you guys this question genuinely. Who's allowed to skate as a broadcaster who lives an entire lifespan on a stage as large

as something like 18 years on Sunday Night Football? Because you guys saw how the fangs came out for Dick Vitale and Lee Corso, like you're not, Mike Patrick bowed out before the criticism got to him. No, I don't think so. I remember there was a website that, you know, fired Joe Morgan was a blog that popped up.

When I was in high school, wasn't so much social media, but it was these blogs, and Mike Patrick got replaced from Sunday Night Football because people felt a certain way about him. And then as his assignment started getting worse and worse as he got older and then social media came along and then you realize, oh, people don't feel the way that I feel about Mike Patrick, who I thought was generally awesome. And I just miss the time where, yeah, people had their opinions, maybe, but they weren't just totally pushed into those opinions because of social media just trying to gather steam

behind a take. I thought broadcasting when I was growing up was amazing. I didn't have any bad opinions about anybody. Hell, man, I thought Phil Simms was good. And now you open up the internet and you find out, like, wait, no one thinks anyone is good? This is kind of bullshit. Is that where we are? no one's any good now no one Noah Eagle is getting a lot of praise right yeah but he also gets shit too.

Ernie Johnson. Who's above reproach? So I think that there's like a few guys and I think Buck is like coming out of the other side like he's not nearly as polarizing because now he's been around for over a generation there's a like the people that are taste makers right now, we're kids growing up recognizing that Joe Buck is a soundtrack of a big game. He's had like a I don't give a shit vibe for the last like six years that I think has resonated.

And I think that Harlan, Joe Tess, Bob O'Shoozen on the hockey side, Joe Buck, Iain Eagle, like Spiro Ditas, well no one can say Mo Ali Cox the way that spirit is can one o'clock window Mo Ali Cox that's Bureau D Does but yeah, there's a few guys there No, I can say I just lost so many Mo Ali Cox over 13 and a half yards because he's catch the 12-year touchdown That's the thing. You gotta bet the anytime. Can we put it on the pole? Cause he's catched a 12 yard touchdown. That's the thing you gotta bet the anytime touch.

Can we put it on the poll? Can anyone scream touchdown Mo Ali Cox the way that Spearoditas can? Can I just get two catches? Just two. You're getting one. Just two. But it might be over seven and a half yards. You're gonna get one for six yards?

It's a touchdown though. Uh, AFC South. That one o'clock window, Spearow. That's beautiful. Uh, it's a great thing. It's like Colts Raiders one o'clock. They gotta come over to this side. Voices that belong in time zones.

Spiro Ditas one o'clock, AFC South. Get me there, pal. Ernie Johnson is above reproach, right? Everyone likes, like, if I were to say, highest of the Q ratings anywhere, not gonna cause any polarizations, what's the top of the food chain on? I like just hearing this person around sports. I have no bad opinions of him. I don't think he roots against my team.

I don't think he's an asshole. I don't think he's an egomaniac. I don't dislike his opinions. He's just a nice man on television. Nice person on television. I think Bob Lee was like that. I think Mike Tirico is sort of like that. Just benign in a good way not polarizing very professional

You'll never hear a woman on this list because I was gonna say Doris Burke But she's right she's right that you By virtue of simply being a woman talking about sports. She could be all of these people and it's polarizing When it need not be. Chris Whittingham. Steve Martin also. How'd that poll come back by the way? Does he suck at everything except soccer? At LeBataart Show we will update the polls after the show. Hey you in the audience it's Mike. You've been a fan of this show hopefully for a long time and you know how much Miller Lite means to me. This partnership, it's real. It's documented. For almost 20 years, Miller Lite has been

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