The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz - Hour 1: I Just Want Horse

Episode Date: May 12, 2025

Surprise, surprise. Dan is being racist again. Also, the show has obtained an exclusive recording of the first phone call between the Miami Heat and Milwaukee Bucks surrounding a potential Giannis Antetokounmpo trade. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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The tequila that invented tequila. Proximo Cuervo dot com please drink responsibly. Cuervo.com, please drink responsibly. Cuervo. This is the Don LeBattor Show with the StuGuts Podcast. It probably goes without saying that I was a spectacular dork as a young boy and one of the places where I connected with my grandfather who did not speak much English is around baseball and so he would take me to the Omni mall and we would go get Bill James baseball abstracts because I became Dork situation worse fascinated by numbers and how we do measurements in

sports so leave that out when the girls come over right? It's again I started with I was a spectacular dork and then I made it worse but wait a seize on the moment guys didn't leave you that opening at all. Chasing different types of BJs. The Bill James baseball abstract is something that taught me to want to read Michael Lewis in all forms, whether he was talking about business or baseball and learn with Moneyball how we do measure. Wolf. Yes, I know. Reading.

Terrible. Not getting better. This is getting worse as we go. I know. Again, dork, unpopular, all boys school, too much reading. Yes, I was the worst versions of Pablo Torre. Didn't fit in anywhere. Like, just-

He also went to an all boys school. People go to all boys schools. Weirdos. Like just you also went to an all-boys school people go to all-boys schools weirdos Put it on the poll at Levittage show are people who go to all-boys schools weirdos post too busy deep in eight zero zero eight five Oh, yeah, I mean you say that but the University of Miami is run by Columbus boys. Well, they're the dumb weirdos I don't think it's their choice those boys to go to the all I think of choices made for them Yes in my case and in the case of many Latin kids that choice is made for you grow a pair tell your parents I'm not going to an all-boys school. I did

Didn't Billy go to Belen. Yeah That's a joke Billy do you have what they hate Columbus? Do you have any FIU sound from the weekend as you are conquering FIU returning to conquer FIU sports? Do we have any sound from your shenanigans over the weekend? I was told we'll have it. So unfortunately my escapades as a Panther broadcaster are done for the season because

the home stands are done. Now FIU travels on to see if they're going to go on a run here in the Conference USA Championship Tournament. They have to take care of business with Sam Houston State. But what were the stories? Because Juju was insisting that I ask you about these stories. He wouldn't tell me himself what it is that you did this weekend with FIU, but he was saying that I needed to ask you about it because it was good and it was funny and I don't know what you did. Oh, I thought you were an A1 listener to my broadcast, Dan. Jesus, what a way to find out. Day after Mother's Day.

Not a nice day to find out. But anywho, nothing, no stories. I have, I don't know if Ron McGill's on this week or next week, but I do have a movement that I've been trying to start, which is to get a Panther preserve on the FIU campus right behind the White right field wall, which a lot of people are telling me is not a good idea to have live Florida Panthers there, but why is that I mean? Well, are you saying because it's the Everglades and it's swampy and you can have an area that there's a lot of life Panthers like preserved There's like a lush area there where it's it's still cages

I gotta tell you something I've seen where they keep the Panthers at the zoo. This would be Night and day. Yeah, but that also not pretending to be a preserve. What do you mean? Well they have a preserve on campus they just don't have any Panthers. I'd like to give them room to roam if possible. I'm trying do you guys not I'm sorry. We will talk to McHale about that tomorrow. Don't people jog around that preserve? No one cares about Florida Panthers. It sounds like an Adam McKay skit a Funny or Die skit you know let's put a preserve out there and all of a sudden Pitbull's being mauled by a wild animal. I thought about Adam McKay today, Dan, because Mike was telling me about some rain something

that's going on. Atmospheric River. Yeah, he's all about this atmospheric river. I mean, your logical nerds are delighted at what's happening down here in South Florida right now. It's something that's pretty uncommon for those that live on the Southeast. Sounds made up. Really? Atmospheric River? You're the problem, Zazz problem. Are you a climate denier the problem? No, but I mean atmospheric

Sounds like baloney. You're right. It does sound like baloney. It's something that you would just kind of laugh at people from But no, it's actually higher in the stratosphere where the storm I'm sure and it's a constant flow of water River in the sky is what you're trying to sell on. Exactly that's right. This isn't just regular everyday rain that's going on this is an occurrence that's never happened before. Mike is telling me usually happens on the West Coast. You know what show me your carbon footprint the two of you because you're the problem right now denying that this is happening and denying that your actions are causing it. People were asking me how did this this whole thing start whole thing start with the atmospheric river? I'm like, I don't know,

climate change. I, so, I mean, we gotta look inward folks. Yeah. It starts with us. We're all gonna die The sky seems to be falling I don't think we're gonna die from an atmospheric river. We all are gonna die by the way. We won't be the atmospheric river But imagine an atmospheric river and the oceans rising. I mean you're getting hit from both sides I don't think it'll ever reach those heights It's funny to laugh about right up until it's happening to you.

I would think that of all the things that could possibly kill us right now, atmospheric rivers are very low on the list. Low, yeah I know, but I remember when we reacted to fire tornadoes this way. What does that mean, an atmospheric river? What does that mean, a fire tornado? It sounds scarier than it is. Hurricane season's right around the corner, friends. Also carbon monoxide, the killer. Yeah earlier than ever Hurricane season will arrive. I'm sure like it did last year earlier than ever

But what I was saying about the dantones and the changing of the sport and and where I was a dork I don't know if the rest of you feel this way about it, but it really has been interesting to watch ridiculously as my generation of players says you know there's a chess game the basketball that is really interesting if you love that these aren't just guys running around out there that this is Cirque du Soleil of these guys are doing drills all day so that they can be super precise to get an open 16 footer. If you like that and then just watch a machine take it out to the fringes because it started with James Harden but he couldn't close. He would

have been, they were better at it than Durant and Curry and Thompson because they gained the, and so what I'm asking you guys is, don't you find that part interesting because I'm endlessly fascinated by it. I did, I found it interesting when it was happening. And I found it interesting as teams tried to be better at it than one another. Now the team that's worst at it is better than the team that was best at it a decade ago,

and it's not unlike what happened with baseball, which is like, they cracked the code, they broke the sport, everybody started doing this, and then baseball realized, we gotta do something about this because it makes the sport less interesting. I don't watch basketball for math, I watch basketball for individual matchups and drama.

It was super interesting in baseball, and still is in baseball, but then it became, all right, it's either home runs or strikeouts. And like, that's not so interesting. Okay, but they fixed that too, right? It's always gotta change, got to change for the attention spans we can talk man we've been talking to seasons are they harming the sport not the games are good and you get to watch lions feed on your kitchen you remember

that stuff when you're when it'll give you moments all over the place and indiana's going to challenge that team and i'd just be curious i'd like to tell them to have one of those moments because it was weird to me Boston with this champion because we all kind of know this thing about it that oh that was easy and now Boston gets to swagger around as they're entitled to title town because they're Boston and it's like yeah but your beautiful languid Ferrari of a star, I will say it again, third best player in the league, empirically probably, close to it, if you don't believe it, whatever, like great player undisputedly, not saying that he's not.

But I haven't actually seen him kill his prey. James Harden, 50 points, semi-finals, game seven, that's not where championships are won. Like I understand, I understand that he's great and he's better than James Harden and he did score 50 in a game seven and not taking it away from him, but also he doesn't have a lot of killer moments that any of us remember.

Nope, nope. He's also had a lot of opportunities in the playoffs to do this. Like yeah, we would stand to reason that he'd get a good game seven. He's played in an abnormal amount of them for someone so young in his career. When you go into the big playoff game, you're the fan of the other team. Are you afraid of Jason Tatum? No, I want him shooting. You know who you're afraid of? Derek White. Yes. Very scared of Derek White. Okay, wait, I wouldn't go that far. I would not go that far. I'm still scared

if Jason Tatum, he can always get his 40 efficiently. I don't, if they ran it through Derek White, Derek White would not be doing what Tatum is. Don't do that. Derek White was their second best player in those NBA Finals. Derek White has a moment, you remember? Derek White, yeah, Derek White kicks our ass. I'm not worried about Jason Tatum. I was catatonic after that game. You guys are insulting Jason Tatum by saying Derrick White might be better than him. Come on. I think he's more important to their success, and I think it's pretty irrefutable. Who turned their fortunes around and it wasn't Jason Tatum?

Look, man, I'm just saying what you're saying. You're saying he's got to show you something. I'm like, I'm right there with you, pal. I'm not even saying that he's got to show me something. I'm simply pointing out to everybody hey you know this thing here right that makes this feel a note off even though it's a champion because this is the thing we were saying last week dock rivers forevermore in that city is champion that's not how he's going to be

remembered you'll have to have the moments to be remembered that's how it works. It can't be. You just run through people and no one can say, what did you do in those series other than be the best player on the fastest? You drove the fastest car? Well, and going back to the math, this also is what hurts Jason Tatum with the moments because no matter how good you think the Boston Celtics are, if they make threes, they win. If they miss threes, they lose. Except against OKC, I'd like to see it. Like, I'd like to see what that looks

like because I think when we talk about what's Boston going to do, these things are so cutthroat, man. Competition's crazy. The next team's always out there building a better thing and OKC was ahead of angel and now will collect the draft picks will collect everybody lock them up long-term and not let him leave for seven years and see how that goes if we get some people that aren't hardened and direct is everyone's fall in love with not the draft picks do they have a chance to night oklahoma city like with all the picks they've a chance that it could land on number one they get to keep it are they in that game they have so much they have a chance tonight, Oklahoma City? Like with all the picks, do they have a chance that it could land on number one and they get to keep it?

Are they in that game? They have so many picks and they are so young and they are hungry and they are fun. They do not have an option for this lottery, this go-around. And they are a team that could absolutely beat Boston by saying, Do you know how good our perimeter defensive is? Historic. Are you aware of how good our perimeter defensive it like you historic are are you aware of? How good we are at defense and Pritchard you want to keep shooting from out there? Okay?

I see you shooting 40 43 percent all season has to be the most beloved Celtic. There's been since Larry Bird has to be He's a good player. He scares me. He would scare me. He's a great player Yeah, it's good player You can you can argue that if both Oklahoma City and Boston make it to the NBA Finals, that would be the toughest test in two seasons for Boston in the playoffs. Is that what the NBA wants? Boston and Oklahoma City? For sure.

Is that the matchup? For sure. You think so? For sure. SGA, the young core of the Thunder going against the Celtics trying to go for a repeat like that's what the NBA wants the thing is you want Golden State they want that that Bay no way gold Golden State's dead in the water they want they want the NBA wants San Francisco Oakland as a TV market in there ahead of TV

market you want the team that's always been there like Golden State and the remnants of Steph you absolutely want there but what look we can talk about that series in a second because I'd like to see Edwards take it from Steph I'd like to watch that I don't want Steph on the sidelines making Jimmy Butler's Warriors look like Jimmy Butler's heat like it's very similar now offense is gonna be very hard to come by if you don't have a guy riding around on a magic carpet out there. Shooting from everywhere. Here, three, three, three, three, three.

No, but so the whole thing is asinine, right? It's gotta be an interesting experience for Jimmy too. Right? Because he is also understanding like, oh man, the best player being out sucks. It sucks. I'm the best player again, what? That was a lot to go through

to just be the best player again and have to do everything. This is hard hard and then the other guy always quits when Steph isn't playing in the game He gets thrown out where he picks up too many fouls haters paradise if they get out and I I ask you guys I feel like this part is so confusing to me because I've been watching sports for a long time and Generally speaking when a Dwayne Wade bursts on the scene you see it and you feel it I've been watching sports for a long time, and generally speaking, when a Dwayne Wade bursts on the scene, you see it and you feel it. Anthony Edwards is a size that I can't really get my head around how athletic he is.

Like, he is six foot three, and somehow, in not the realm of Russell Westbrook who you can tell has more fast twitch muscle fiber than everyone else. Anthony Edwards' athleticism to me, Zaz, is confusing because I'm not used to seeing a 6'3 player play like that. Like maybe Wade, but he seems like he's more athletic than Wade. Oh, he's stronger. Stronger. But I'm just talking about the leap. I'm talking about his jump feels different than other people jumping.

I don't know that I agree with the Wade part. He's definitely stronger, bigger than Wade was, but man, like Wade's first seven, eight years. He's pretty explosive. Explosive, but it didn't look like Anthony Edwards. I think that's because of his physique. I think it's because he is bigger than Wade was. You think it's a muscular thing.

I think it was more satisfying to watch Wade play the way that he did just because he felt smaller. It felt like he was getting higher up in the air because of... There's some dunks that Anthony Edwards has. How did he take off from there and do that on a guy who's seven? Well, how is he still rising right by the way, Denver won game three Yoke it's over ten from three just won that game exhausted and God make a shot like a junior shoulder my shoulders you know he's just trying to get to a pension it's such a funny

thing for us to watch him like a dog was broken he's a plow horse he's tired he wants to get back to the nice piece of Serbia where he can watch his horses race They won't let him stop working and finally. Okay. See is like, you know what? Yo, Kich Will make you go eight for 25 and he's like I Just want horse 18 to for 18, I just want horse. I I Got scared because I didn't know whether I was allowed to do his accent or not or whether that would be some sort of Didn't know like Deon's yellow suit just do it sort of it. If you're gonna be racist, you might as well go full racist, right? I wanted to be authentic though and get his voice close to right

and I felt like I was lapsing into like old Dracula territory. It did sound like Dracula. So I, you know, and I started leaking confidence on the first syllable. Not that Dracula though. That was a funny confident Dracula. Mine was not confident. Yeah. I was falling apart. You want to try again? No, never again.

Never again. It's a very vulnerable thing. It's interesting to watch Jokic miss shots because there's nothing about his process that looks different. It's just like they're either going in or they're not. Like if you just watched that game, you're like, well, of course he missed it.

Look at his lackadaisical approach to the game, but he could go 10 for 10 the next time and it won't look any different. Everything's expensive now, groceries, gas, even your streaming bill. If you forget to cancel that free trial. The last thing I need is credit card debt. But here's the thing.

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There's a genuine comfort, and I can tell that they put in effort to make sure, specifically in our case with men, that we would feel comfortable. Honestly, Tommy John's changed the game for me. I know it's gonna be a good day now when I walk out the door and I've got Tommy John on. No distractions, no adjusting, just all-day confidence.

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Now, your TV knows you more than ever, whether it's reviving old memories with AI upscaling or seamless hands-free control with universal gestures, this isn't just television, it's a whole new vision. Because it isn't just about what's on, it's about who's watching. Learn more about Samsung Vision AI televisions at Samsung.com. Don LeBretard! Kiss me where you bruise me, taste me on that fleshy part. Really? Yeah. Really.

Taste me on that fleshy part. Taste me, not touch me. Taste me on that fleshy part. Wow. Wow, Bruce. On that stugatz. Bruce is a... I'm talking about the clitoris.

I'm talking about the clitoris. I'm talking about the clitoris. Yes, I am. Now we're out here riffing. And I'm gonna try to find it if I can. Okay, what a wonderful rendition. This is the Don Lebatar Show with the Stugats. Billy, I was surprised to hear you come in and say today, and you quoted Bill Parcells, you said, as Bill Parcells said, and this is how male this world is. I don't like how this is being presented already.

I'm not sure where we're going, but I don't like how this is at. Judge? I wrote down you are what your record is. Rejection? Is that what you said? No. Wow, he has another saying Overruled you may continue. Thank you. I appreciate it judge that's with prejudice I need to always I mean do not I

Need some help from you judging with prejudice here Bill Parcells would famously say don't tell me about the labor show me the baby yeah, and Billy was quoting Parcells as it related to Pat Riley today. Yeah, that's not crazy. I mean, we talked about it. Riley, land one of these whales. Or don't land one of these whales.

Stop talking about all this whale hunting that you're doing. Also, you shouldn't be hunting whales, but that's a story for another day. I'm here trying to have preservations, preserves for animals. Riley's out here trying to kill them. That's not what we're talking about.

Antetocumpo is available now. That's the big story in sports, right? It bangs against even the hockey player. Hockey and basketball aren't in the third round yet, so this bangs against it, and it will take over the entirety of the news stream. One of the giants is available. You gotta figure Aaron Rodgers

makes the decision today now, right? Like, gotta get back in the mix here. You know he's a secretly married yeah but then he takes off the ring when people find out he's trying to do the thing and they did like a segment on McAfee to try to get the people talking and no one cares yeah hmm can I ask you as a question are we at a point with the heat now that the honest news is out that you're disappointed if the heat do in fact get Kevin Durant I'm not ready to be heard again so you're saying you're saying they don't get Yannis, but they get KD. Am I disappointed?

Yeah, cuz you're like, oh, that's not the way like what if like if the heat okay, so the heat can have KD today Yeah, or you don't and you have a 50% chance again. Yannis not 50 29 according to you get him or you don't that's 50 50 I want Katie I want the runaway bride's good math I need it I need they need to close a couple years late Katie I'd give it give it to me give me something different what about trading possibly for the giant from Denver I just want horse I just want horse you can't afford you can't afford you can't afford it You can't afford it. He's not an option.

He's not an option. I just want horse. I don't think getting KD for the Heat is like a bad, I know that people are like, oh, like he's, you know, this isn't the same KD. This is the end of his career. Yeah. But like he's, he's, he's one of the all time greats in the NBA. He's a legendary player that will be, you know, tied to your franchise forever.

Guaranteed KD today over 50% chance getting Yannis. Give me KD. Give me KD. Give me one of the game's greatest to wear that uniform and have him in a heat uniform. You have Wade, you have LeBron, you have Durant, you have Shaq. I mean, what a legacy. I just want horse. What assets do you give up though? Are we keeping Tyler, are we keeping Bam? You're keeping Bam for sure. Yes.

I just want horse. Just him is probably not good enough to win though, so what difference does it really make what assets you keep or get rid of? We get to see KD, that's cool. That's the thing, it's like here's, okay, here's the hypothetical scenario. You get Kevin Durant

You're gonna be Maybe a seven seed That's that's that's that's the option here. Do you take it? I just want horse Do you take one of the all-time greats to wear your roster knowing best case your seven seed I'd hold out for Yanis I'm going 50-50 boys. I'll go 50% chance again. I'm trying to go big here Everybody knows go big or go home. I'm waiting for Yanis 50% chance. You're honest. What's your hold it out? I just want horse. What's your offer? Whatever you want. I'll play I'll play Milwaukee whatever you want Walking anything you want. What do I get to keep anything you want?

It's anything you want. It's okay, but I want. What do I get to keep? Anything you want. It's anything you want. Okay, but I don't think that's good enough for me. It might not be. It might not be. If I'm Milwaukee, I'm getting a couple of calls. What do you want, Mike? How about that? I want anything that I want.

This is how it's gonna, this is how the conversation is gonna start with Pat Riley. Prring. Prring. Hello, it's Pat. No, no, I'm Pat. Why do I need to sound sleepy? No, I'm Pat, I'm Pat, you're Milwaukee. No. No, I'm bad Sleepy no, I'm Pat. I'm Pat your Milwaukee

No, no, you're my walk. You're my walk. Jill. Did you see this orb? All right ready, yep, I'm Minnesota I mean Milwaukee Milwaukee You don't even know we're're doing. Ring! Hello? We'd like to give you Terry Rozier for Yanis Atek- Oh! I just want horse. Where'd Dan go? He won't sign off on it.

He left. He left. Alright, try again. Just don't leave with Terry Rozier. Ring! Yo, it's just the first offer, man. Hang on. It is the first offer, man. It is the first offer.

You gotta feel everybody out. Oh, okay. You don't want Terry Rozier. RING! I just want horse. Milwaukee Bucks. RING! Hello. Hey.

This is all time great and legend Patrick Riley. That is disrespectful. Fumbled it, too. It would never happen. Okay. I know your crap offers, Pat. Because there's no way the Bucks pick up a phone that has a cord. It's the Bucks. It's Milwaukee, you never know.

Hello! You have some unpaid toll fines that you really need to resolve now. Representative? Representative? Zero. Representative? Hello, welcome to- I just want horse. Ring!

It's the Bucks. What if I could tell you that you could leave today with Alec Berks and Kashad Johnson? You called the Tampa Bay Bucks, I'm sorry. I just want horse. Ring ring. Interested in Drew Smith? He could be yours today.

All it's going to cost you is Yana's son of the Coompo. You also have to take Terry Rosier. Stop calling. Just stop. Just stop calling. Hey, we're high Smith. Daryl Morey. Give me something else.

I just want- They don't have the Godfather offer that he could offer isn't good enough as other people's Godfather offers. A Passage Prime, Bam Adebayo, a Lutron, a Riot, a Tyler Hale. You keep saying Passage Prime. Why does he keep doing that?

What does he keep doing? Passage Prime. You wanna bet that Bam Adebayo's best basketball is ahead of him? He's got some great news ahead of him. I would bet you that this is who he is. Okay, not good enough. Well okay, but that's not past your prime. No, yeah it is. He was viewed as an ascending talent and now he's viewed as a finished. He's 27. Didn't he take a step back this year? So like now you're offering me a Bam Adebayo that is a like a depreciating asset. I don't agree. He's appreciating.

You think he's an appreciating asset? No, I think this is who he is. You're a player in your prime. You don't have to continue on the ascent if you're in your prime. This is who you are. He had a bad year for him. Yannis is still in his prime, right? For sure, but you're being mad disrespectful of a really good player.

I'm not saying, look, he has been a good player. I see a depreciating asset that you're out the gates with. It's not yet. He's negotiating, Dan. That's what it is. The sport uses up your body not so young. It's not allowed that Giannis is allowed to be in his prime with that mileage and Bam is spent at 27 with that mileage. Like you don't think Giannis is still getting better, do you? He just had his best year. Okay but this is who he is. I'm sorry I'm the GM for the Bucks baby you got to convince me. He's negotiating that's why he keeps calling

him depreciating asset. Have you met my friend Art? We got to bump him. Davey on Machel's bucks, baby. You got to convince me. He's negotiating That's why he keeps calling him depreciating. I've got a friend or Davey on mitchell's off the table. You're on the phone with art right now art of deal. You're losing I'm taking your lunch money aod So this is the big story in sports today, and I will tell you that what should be the big story in sports is How terrible the Coloradoado rockies are do they lost a game twenty one is there a little done it's not the worst of it uh... do you guys remember when i told you last year that the chicago white socks were the single worst team in baseball i'd ever seen and then by the end of the season

they were the worst team in the history of baseball that team started eleven and twenty eight the rockies are 6 and 33. The Rockies are 6 and 33. This is one of, keep in mind what we're watching, the Detroit Lions no longer are a laughingstock. The LA Clippers no longer are a laughingstock. The Colorado Rockies have existed 30 years, they've won zero division titles, they've got 10 total playoff wins, they've had 21 losing seasons, and this season they're minus 134 already in runs. Like, 21-nothing's

not that uncommon for them. Like, are you counting the 21-0? I'm joking about 21 not being, 21-nothing is uncommon, but but this is a what you're watching is not a major league baseball team it's not in anyway a major league baseball team major league baseball teams play close games they are just getting slaughtered i was on the s p n yesterday we i can't tell you last time i talk major league baseball on the s p n where the middle of a basketball conversation and we have the chat going on where it's communicate with the producers and just Literally out of nowhere because I saw it for the first time I swear I put in the chats the Rockies are 6 and 33

What is that shit? I have good news for everybody here. They won yesterday. So they're now 7 and 33 and the run differential boom Skyrockets and minus 128 big game yesterday What's the second worst team in the league run differential this early in the season? I don't want to know that but black was our manager Moreover, did you know that it's been but black since 2017? He was fired immediately after 21 nothing Honestly, once they tumbled into the teens, they should have gone out onto the field and fired him. But it's great. Like he had crazy jobs to come with me, but he under his.

Did you see who was peeking around there? He was peeking around there. Tell me it's Clint Hurdle again. He's he's peaking around there. They brought him in for some sort of consultant, something, and then they got rid of Bud Black and then they moved, you know, their third base coach is now the manager and boom, guess who's the new bench coach? That's great. Hurdle. I think I think I could be wrong here I think we may have a situation where a team fires a manager twice in a season now you got to give hurdle the

opportunity to catch but black that's why I'm saying you fire him twice so you make him hurdle the manager again I don't know has what never happened that a team fires a manager or a coach twice. I mean, Billy Martin was fired once. No, no, I'm saying two managers in the same season. In the same season. In the same season. Phew.

It'd be amazing. I want to explore something with you guys because I have just asked Chris Cody to find me the looks like for Clint Hurdle, one of the great and famous looks like characters in the history of our show. I believe that Clint Hurdle would be, Adam Silver is obviously Mount Rushmore in our looks like game, but Clint Hurdle had in sort of a bloated orange baseball way about him that was super leathery and connotes our favorite time in baseball when Clint Hurdle can

go from being a hustling gritty player to being a bite your face off manager and the sport can turn him orange along the way. Tell me I'm wrong Roy. No, you're not wrong. So Chris Cody is looking for this right now but I want to go back to Dan D'Antoni because I've wandered far astray here. Chris stop for a moment you didn't find it quite fast enough so let's go to Dan D'Antoni because i've wandered far astray here chris stop for a moment you didn't find it quite fast enough so let's go to dan d'antoni saying from his brother mike's perch of this is how we should change the game but we coaches were kind of idiots i know you guys take a lot of threes did you feel like there maybe wasn't quite enough

working the ball into the paint early on you're old school aren't you you know what had you you watch the NBA ever? Will you see those top three teams? Golden State, do they work it in? This, hey my brother Houston, biggest turn around, do they work it in? Listen, that game, my opinion, obviously, gone. You go get any computer and run what the best shots are, they'll tell you a post-up's a in basketball. So if you want to run down, try to get it in there to shoot over somebody, then you're beating analytics. The best shot in basketball is that corner

three. Next best shot in basketball is any other three. No, that's, you go get it and read them out. Other than free throws, which we try to do. Get to the foul line, because you score 1.5 points every time you go to the foul line in the pros. And it just trickled down. It's the same thing for college kids. Did you ever get to sort of mull them in? I haven't finished my dang old analytics story.

You got to go to bed or something, you're going out. But you score layups. If you can get to a layup, it's clean. It's not one that's highly contested, it's 1.8. It's 1.3 from that corner, 1.27, you know what a post-up is? Over top, a guy standing like this, 0.78. So you run your team down there and we'll see how long you stay with teams that can play the other way. I found one head coach in the history of

pro sports that got fired by the same team twice in one year. John Gruden, but not that John Gruden. A John Gruden from junior hockey. That's right. Yeah there was a John Gruden of the OHL, the Ontario Hockey League, and he was fired twice as head coach By the Flint Freebirds in the 2015-16 season So he had to been fired the first time and they were like, ah, it's a mistake It was a conflict with the owner and then they brought him back mistake and then he got fired for real for reals So mistake wasn't a mistake

Earlier in the show I mentioned the Omni mall. It's been closed for 25 years There are any number of things that make me feel old these days. One of the things that makes me feel old is when I'm referencing a bit that Chris Cody doesn't remember, that Zaslow would remember, but Chris Cody doesn't remember because do you Zaslow remember how much fun we had delighting in action star Stephen Seagal's singing career. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. Do you remember any of the names of any of his hit songs off the top of your head?

No. It's not the easiest. No. Well, this is one of them. He was furious with someone and he said, talk to my ass. Now here's this B-roll of steven sigal in russian when you mentioned bud black i was thinking look at how his face is painted in order to keep up the old steven sigal image put that up there now of being

uh... pioneering action hero he's got the don nelson belly that he's trying to conceal with the blouse he clothes that's a signature move of mine and his entire head seems to be painting painted and his goatee seems to be painted as he makes his way to Russian zig while others are zagging man bun I'm gonna go see Putin I'm not certain could this be a Boris Sanchez studio lighting thing with him I would feel terrible if that were the case he was like the top action star now Now it's Liam Neeson, 70 years old. We do action stars poorly in this country, except for Tom Cruise, also

70 years old. Man, you know about Under Siege? Good movie. Look at Segal right there. Look at him. Mike Ryan, I want an investigation here. What is painted and what is not painted on Stephen Segalal in Russia. I want Mike Ryan to do his investigation and tell me, what do you believe that this is Stephen Seagal's real hair and the real color of his goatee? Yeah, that's legit. He's doing things the right way.

That man is bloated. Troy. He is. Tell me I'm wrong. Could have a medical situation. You don't know that. Exactly right. It's just wild. Roy comes out and says guess what? I was not a member of the media after all. I was a fan just getting free tickets and now he's just taking free tickets. Free tickets? My ass. I'm credentialed. What are you talking about? Free tickets? Well you're biased though. Very defensive. You know what? I though and you know what i got a little bit well it's it's tainted by your lack of objectivity i'm a real journalist thank you that's what i used to be a royal and one day have uh... his name on the press

box because he's been a long time credentialed as he's mentioned, media member of the Florida Panthers, one of the longest credentialed I might add. Well, might end today. But clearly biased, like we've, you guys caught him, that was cold and dirty, you caught him in the second round of the playoffs, he's been shitting himself all weekend, Billy you weren't paying attention to the Panthers and you caught him off guard and you got him to admit something

he would never admit. It's called journalism, friend, wanna try it on for size? I would like Pablo Torre, too. Did he get too busy? I was told he was gonna be here in moments. He might actually have been too busy. This is Pablo's world.

Is it because he's winning too many Peabodas? He's winning too many Peabodas? Well, he's being nominated. He got delayed. He will be here at 11.15. 11.15. She will be done by then. Do you think he's depressed at all the attention that this is getting? No, absolutely not. He got delayed. He will be here at 1115

Suppress at all the attention that this is getting like it's no absolutely not he likes attention, right? But he's like I do good work and you know like the thing that's like No, I have an impression of Pablo. I do good work. That was good Still smiling here's the thing I just want horse those pitch perfect last time just one I couldn't tell if it was you a clip really you guys didn't you guys couldn't tell I did it too accurately it was too authentic my limited fake yolk it I just want horse I sound like I'm about to start sobbing. So does he. Well, he'd like to stop carrying them. Horses? Just one horse.

He's looking at Chet Holmgren, and he's like, really? I mean, what is this? What is all of this? Lawson, his arms always bleeding, his nose is always running. Really? Yeah. He's constantly blowing his nose.

It's kind of gross watching him. He's tired. Do you think he'd rock, like he could rock a pony to sleep, right? Like very easily. If he wanted to, like a baby, cradle it, rock it. A newborn, yeah. Yeah.

Does Clint Hurdle look like the dead body hanging outside of a town with no name with a sign attached to him that reads, no visitors. It does look like that. He does. Does Clint Hurdle look like a high school football coach named Honeycutt who after 10 losing seasons coaches a group of misfits into the championship

game only to lose on the last play. It does look like a coach named Honeycutt. Does he look like a tin of pine tar that has come to life? I can see that like via Pixar. I can see that. Does he look like the guy at a golf outing wearing a mock turtleneck who cracks open a beer on the first tee, slurps the froth, and exclaims it's five o'clock somewhere just after he makes final adjustments to his tennis elbow brace? You want that looks like 21-0.

Get me all of the Clint Hurdles. Send our advanced scouts wherever in the universe they have to go to find me more Clint Hurdles. Please get Clint Hurdle back in the game. I can't believe how bad the Rockies are. That's not, I mean, you can make the argument that through 39 games, there has never been in the history of our most historic sport

something this rancid. Bud Black has been in our baseball lives for most of our time here on earth. If I assembled Bud Black look-alikes and I lined them against the wall. I imagine khaki pants. Would you be able to actually identify the real Bud Black?