The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz - Hour 1: James Harden IS the System

Episode Date: November 13, 2023

Hour 1 kicks off with Stugotz's Weekend Observations! Then, it's time to talk about the flailing Clippers and James Harden wanting to be "the system" of whichever team he's on. Plus, Mike believes everyone is misinterpreting his Wemby take, Billy accidentally locks his daughter in the car, and he loves his Apple Watch. Enter now at www.millertimemiami.com Presented by @millerlite #ad No purchase necessary. Open to legal US residents, age 21 and older. Ends November 16. See Official Rules for details. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

You're listening to Giraffe King's Network. These side marios all you can eat is all you can munch a soup, salad, and garlic This is the Dunlabel Tarshall with the Stugat's Podcast. In this time for Stugat's to share his game notes, no one in the media will tell you what happened better than my boy's stew. We get observations brought to you by Miller Lite, great taste, 96 calories available for delivery. D yesterday, I had no idea. He spent the last seven years in Atlanta as the Braves Third Base Coach. But Dan, over the weekend, everything changed

because at 71 years of age, one of the most poorly run franchises anywhere in sports decided he was their guy. And Dan, just like that, make no mistake about it. Ron Washington is back. Yes. Sighting, right? Very much so. When I first heard the news, I thought it was a joke. I was snorting with laughter. Ron Washington, line coach, make sense. Dan, you could take the field. I'll take Alabama. The angels are gonna love Ron. I'm told he's a real players coach. A guy who loves cutting it up with his players. I'm also told his

favorite thing to eat for lunch is a salad. Chopped, of course. What are you doing? What do you mean? Just it's gonna be all cocaine jokes. Death. Taxes. And Penn State.

Having no time out-slifed, headed into the fourth quarter of a big game. Ron Washington. Testing positive for cocaine at the age of 57. At claiming, it was the first time he used cocaine Ron the stugots is strong in you Ron Washington this marks progress the rare black coach to test positive for cocaine who still gets a second chance Let's hope he doesn't blow it

What happened? James Franklin is now three at 17 against top 10 teams. Little game James. Ron Washington has a player again. Blue guy, not many cracks in his game. How many? You know what I mean? How many cocaine jokes are you gonna hit

Ron Washington? One might say the positive drug test was just a bump in the road. Seems to be great. You seem very pleased with yourself. The only person that thinks James Franklin is a good head coach is James Franklin. Don't tell James Franklin he's not a good head coach. You won't believe you. Jalen Milro, 2007 yards passing, 16 touchdowns, six picks, 333 rushing yards, 12 touchdowns, 38 touchdowns, six turnovers, and five games to go.

And he's a sophomore. About that. Yeah. After he tested positive, I'm told Ron took a long hard look in the mirror. Dan, what happened? It's Ron Washington. It's his day. It's a big day's back.

His day was last Thursday. Well, I mean my weekend starts on Thursday He's also been here And talking about his back. You weren't watching the braves. He was for servos Thank you Dan, you know what the J and Jalen and the M in Milrose stands for? I do not. They stand for just might be the best J-Lin ever played quarterback at Alabama. How about that? Look up the stats, guys. No, I've been looking at the stats right now.

Okay. Soft more, yeah. I ran for 12 touchdowns. J-Lin also ran for 855, guys. He's got five games to go. 17 touchdowns, one pick. Five to go. That's two regular seasons, three regular, regular two regular seasons an SEC championship game you want semi-final in an

national championship I don't have to that's a magic I'll watch him the playoff throw it there do it against Alabama correct he's winning Mike he's winning he's winning I guess we shouldn't be shocked. Reports say Ron has been sniffing around for a job for a while now. Come on. Too much. Too much. You're 12 cocaine jokes too many. By the way, Milro bench for a game. Dan, you know what the R and Ron Washington stand for? More? It stands for running nose. Oh, God.

Yarrimir Yager is going to have his jersey retired by the Pittsburgh Penguins. Top five penguins of all time. Okay, here we go. Number five, and I think Mike agrees. I know Roy does Tommy Barassa Number four yoghurt Number three Mario Lemieux Funny the 70 year old people number two

Ron say And number one, Burgess Meredith. Wow, the original. That day the Vita, the original penguin from the Batman movies. Watch out for the T-Wolves. Keep an eye on the blues. Blues are good. The T-Wolves are a bit confusing and the Go Bears are the best defensive player in the

league. They've got a number one rated defensive efficiency and when the playoffs come, Go Bears not going to be allowed to play. But Edwards has arrived. Everyone says that. Everyone wants badly for him to be the next. Uh, it's not going to be J. It's not going to be Zion. They want him to be next and he's looking like it.

Lionel Messi celebrated his eighth balloon to or. What the hell that thing is. With Miami fans. Eight times. Lionel, do me a favor. Don't celebrate with Miami fans. Until the thing you are celebrating is winning a title. Thanks.

You already did that once. Down here? Yeah. Which title? The League's Cup. Made for television. made for television made up one eight times though He's one player of the year. That's crazy to God. It is eight. It is. It's crazy. He's great Do it a night time Ron Washington's career record

Is 664 and 611 with two world series appearances Certainly doesn't blow and definitely nothing to sneeze at I mean sneezing is now so you're just gonna take everything in the olifactory category okay, I'll be told my friends Jimbo Fisher spent his entire Sunday put it on the pole please laughing all the way to the bank Do you sneeze when you do cocaine? What's this whole factory you keep talking about? Dan listen all I can tell you is I have friends who have done cocaine and when they do cocaine they tell me they sneeze

That's all I can tell you that's it. I've been told that means it's bad. Oh, Dan You know what the W and Washington stands for? It stands for white lines. Today should be a day of celebration. Today, we should all two-hour horns for Ron Washington. I blew that one. All right. Blue. You got it? Saved it. Right. Yeah, you saved it. save it. Right. Yeah, you saved it. Ron Washington's favorite pictures are Jimmy key. Matt Kane. Hold on, slow down. Let us enjoy these. Just slow down. These you want to enjoy. Let's slow down. Let's slow down. Jimmy Pitchers. Jimmy Key. Jimmy Key. Matt Kane.

Nate Bump, Ed Phil Coke. Thank you. Tottenham did what Tottenham does. That last one, Phil Coke, right on the nose. the he he he he a manager looking the mirror and then give it back to Ron Washington so he could do more cocaine off of it. It's a little bit harsh and Ron. What are you doing? The nice man.

What are you putting on? Death. Taxes. He's a nice man is what you're doing now. He seems either that mean. I mean, yes. It's a blue gut. Nice cut. Bill Balochek's winning percentage without Brady

is now lower than Joe Filbens. Filbs. Filbs. Philbs. Dan Campbell is more valuable right now than Bill Balochek. The Patriots should have left Bill Bellichack in Frankfurt. Fraud.

Nobody loves one-score games like the Chargers. Did you hear the stat? They played 100 one-score games over the last 10 years. I was surprised. I thought it was more. There are always one score games as the entire career of Philip Rivers. I saw the stat yesterday, the Dan Campbell has now almost 100 times gone

for it on fourth down in his Lions career. Mm-hmm. Somebody want to tell the Michigan coach, crying that Jim Horboh didn't die, just suspended for cheating. You did last segment. I know. I should have took that one.

What can I do? Jim Bofischer could have took that. $76 million buyout. Being a fire football guy, which is the best job in America. I have editing. I know. I got it. I should have took, you know what?

I didn't. I should have and I didn't and I'm upset and I apologize. Sorry. How many of these jokes did you use on God Bless Football already? None. You know what? I didn't. I should have and I didn't and I'm upset and I apologize. Sorry. How many of these jokes did you use on God Bless Football already? None, not one. None of the wrong watching them once. That's all fresh to hear.

We got the good stuff. That's a football show. We got the good stuff. We got the good stuff. He saved us. He saved the good stuff for us. The right watching stuff right here. 49ers statement game. Don't look now, but there's something special going on in Tucson.

Mike agrees. Jetfish. That team is good. Offensive juggernaut. Steelers are 6 and 3. It's all I got. CJ Shrad, it factor. His name should be IT factor. Washington, Utah, not one, but two bad beats. What happened there? I'd love for some player to be IT factor. It's a great name. Not a good name, a great name. I know those bad beats with Washington? Well, two of them. Ron?

He dropped the ball before the goal line, Ron. Goal on. I thought that the Deshan Jackson Memorial Award, I thought that he would be the last one to ever drop the ball before the goal line. He did it multiple times in his career. Nope, they're still gonna do it. Another Sunday night, another game for LeBron James.

Enjoy an early dinner. Meanwhile, there's a new report out that says Venus has opted in all over. Just about everything we took growing up is being recalled and orkers are killing people on boats. Hell is going on. Dan speaking to help. Orprials. Those are the weekend observations.

Don Lebatard. Did you guys see Gilbert Arena's assessment of Zion Williamson? Agent zero. Stugats. Did you answer my question there or no? No. OK.

Very good. This is the Don Lebatars show with the Stugats. You know that we just did the weekend observations in the presented by Miller Light. Miller Light is partnered with us for great sweepstakes if you're a fan of this show. If you wanna win a weekend in Miami for you and three of your friends provided that you have three friends

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So got's a lot of people are laughing at the clippers. Again, the Steve Balmer experience has been a success from this standpoint, and probably this standpoint only. He's not Donald Sterling, and therefore, they are not the echoing laughing stock as a franchise, that they've been almost their entire existence. But the backslide of being relevant, trying to take that town from the Lakers, not succeeding, doing bold things, and now, Kawaii Leonard and Paul George are going to be free agents after this year.

So they traded away everything's to God's for an experiment that includes Russell Westbrook, Star Power, we're gonna be interesting, we're gonna have names, but James Hardin, since getting there is like minus 64 and four games. They've lost, I think, all five games that he've played, including to the Memphis Grizzlies, and he doesn't quite have self-awareness. So when he's asked about in Philadelphia, some of the things that happen, seven points in game seven, he was playing with the MVP of the league

and he felt somehow handcuffed and restrained. This is the ego that he goes to the clippers with. Um, I don't think. When I'm in at least, I'm not just shooting the basketball hours out. I'm like, I'm a, I'm a, I think the game, and I'm a crater on the court. You know what I mean? So if I've got a voice to rock and head coach, I see this, you know, what you think about this,

then it's like, oh, okay, like some of that trust me that believes in me, that understands me, that I'm just not a, you know, I'm not a system player. I am a system, you know what I mean? So, somebody that can have that dialogue with me and understand and move forward and figure out and make adjustments on the fly throughout the course of games. I probably really care about it.

You know, it's not about me scoring a basketball. I scored a 34-point score. I've done already. So. He's not entirely wrong that when he was winning MVP of the league, he was the system around which everything centered and distorted his self-awareness that he thinks he's still that player at 33 when he is not. Did you see him making a cut the other day and then just forgetting what to do after one makes a cut. He makes a cut for the optics of making

a cut and someone bounces him the ball and it bounces off his torso. He's like, oh, I guess I'm with a new team. Let me make a good run. And then that's the only part of making the cut. He process. So he then wiped his hands on his soul. Yeah, this was great with a ball in his hands and took a pull up three air ball. No, and then the rebound came back to him and he got blocked as the shot clock expired.

That play, it was a disaster. Wasn't the guy that believed he was a system. Wasn't it Darryl Mori? Wasn't it? Yeah, and Mike Danton. Right. And they built everything around him. It was a minus 28 and a four point loss.

He's been truly terrible. But the experiments to got has a chance to be, epically, a failure as the end result. If Kauai and Paul George both leave and all your left with is hardened and Westbrook. He has that brand spanking new arena in Inglewood, which for the Clippers is a monumental achievement even though it's not on the court.

But you get Ross and you get, I'm not saying this doesn't have the potential to be a disaster, it certainly does. Oh yeah, this, this whole thing is hard. And Ross and you get hard in because it's a last ditch effort, right? Especially hard in. Yeah. To try to do something with those two guys before they leave. Right. But I leave it to the gentleman from Bally's sports Southwest, who's a part of the Mavericks coverage. A gentleman. This is a person in a suit and a sports code. We don't know his name. I don't know his name. Brian't know his name brine de meris it's the meris it is it but it's just a general scurring on ballies of james

heart he's brine de meris period no no question mark okay that's not that's my miscission point exclamation point after this all right he used to be question mark it may be not any more though it's a period or an exclamation point as he skewers James Harden. That's the producer to pipe this into the clippers locker room if I can talk to you James. I hope you're taking notes. I'm telling you in advance you're welcome for the wisdom about this view because listen

I get on my knees every night and pray for someone to believe in me like Darabori believe in you. You wanted a certain coach they brought in Mike Danton you want to play a certain style they played it. You want to Dwight Howard they brought him in and got rid of him when you were tired of him. You want to Chris Paul. They brought him in and got rid of him when you were tired of him. They brought in your old friend Russell Westbrook. You want to go to Vegas on off days? They looked away. You wanted the team to stay over so you could go out

at night. They changed the schedule and it didn't work and you know what? You said I'm gonna break up with my woobie. Not good enough. I see the bright lights in New York. I wanna go there by old pal Kevin Durant. It's gonna work, the big three. And all after one year, you won it out. You realize, oh my gosh, I took this guy for granted.

The guy that believed in me. I went back with Dara Mori. They tried to bend Simmons for you. How did they pull that off? And you know what, you went there and you got a partner who got the MVP. He won the MVP. And what did you say afterwards?

You said they didn't hand me the reins. You're the point guard. You were holding the reins. And what did you do when you had the reins? You scored nine points in game seven against Boston. You blew a three, two, series lead. So they fired their coach, not good enough. You broke up with your guy believing you again.

You said, the bright lights of LA, that's where I want to go. Let's see if that works. Listen, James, have you ever had those friends who had bad roommates? Over and over, they complained about their bad roommates. This guy's terrible, the bad roommate here. They never thought to be self-aware enough that they're the bad roommate. They're the problem. Hey, James, you're the problem.

If this doesn't work this year, in this system, with this team, then you're gonna go and point fingers at everybody else, and you're gonna go back home, and you're gonna start swiping right for another team, and there's not gonna be anybody left. Because James, you're not the beard, you're not the system, you're the problem. Oh, oh, and the mitro of Devon.

One of my favorite moves is the putting the hand to the mouth so that you can amplify the acoustics of making sure that no words or air get off to the side. Or a flow rider. You're making sure that James pipe did right to James. Uh, right. Was he mad? He seemed quite composed. He seemed quite composing. He seemed like an angry librarian. I'm saying me things but yet still sing song it. I can be terribly cruel but it's speak like a broadcaster. I'm the complete opposite

of Steve and I smith. So in defense of James Harden after that for a second, just for a quick second. Okay. James Harden seems to me like a guy that just wanted to play basketball, just have fun, right, which he's doing. He never really wanted to win a championship. He's not out here to win, he's not Kobe, he's not LeBron, he doesn't care. For him, I wanna make a lot of money,

I wanna go out at night, and hey, basketball's my job, but it's not that big of a deal, guys. He's the Gen Z guy of, hey, I can do what I want, I just all work, I'll make some money, I'll go have fun. That's what life's about. If he's just doing time. If he just wanted to play basketball

and things weren't a big deal, he wouldn't have forced his way out of like four teams already. He wasn't having fun though. That's the thing, he's looking for the fun. Which is why he goes on. That's more fun. Let Tony cook, this is a great defense. Thank you.

So with a guy who just wants to have fun, what does it matter? We're holding up these expectations that he doesn't even have on himself or sing songy He has all these expectations and we don't even know what he really wants inside is not a championship It's just to have fun all right Work on that all lazy not Call him lazy do it. Call him lazy better than that back to you He wants to just have fun. You know you want to.

You know what? You have James Hardin as being this easygoing guy that just goes with the flow. Yeah. He doesn't care that much. That's the whole point. We're putting all these expectations on him. Like, he wants to win a championship. No, he just wants to go out to the strip club at night.

They retired his jersey in the strip club. So you're saying he has no desire to win a title and not say that's a problem with this country. Come on. I want to just say them. You mentioned, but don't really allude to what then might be. Just keep it moving. You mentioned Gen Z and I wanted some analysis from the crowds to gods. I don't I don't code you here, but I maybe Tony has an answer here. I don't know you guys may have aged out on all this stuff. I am going to date myself with a celebration that I've seen now for a couple of straight weeks talk about Chicago some.

And I don't know, Stu got what athletes, what football players are doing in what I will call in the most fossilized version of this possible, the smell your finger celebration. Celebration. That is. Well, I just don't know what it is. I don't know what it is. Thank you for not going to me. They're doing, they can't do the throat slash anymore. So instead when they're celebrating, when football players are celebrating,

they are smelling, they're running a hand across their finger, and then they're shooting an arrow under the crown. And I don't know what the celebration is. It's called the Slat, Dan, SLAT, T-Slat. And is it a dance? It's not a dance, no. It derives from other things that are maybe not as good in gang culture doing things like that

But young thug slime slat that's all kind of the same like it Doing it really early Bit of a trigger for me I thought the whole finger thing was looking at Sally I love his lane San gang culture Get the lot of the game. What happened to the dress code? It's a very obscure character. There was a dress code.

David Stern implemented a dress code. And we always got to say Brad Miller has one escape hatch. You remember that? Brad Miller. White T, back of jeans. So it's gang culture. I mean, no, I mean, I think it's derived from something like that I was reading on when I was trying to give a really good urge.

What's a slime nerd? When you tell me what a slime nerd is. I'm just talking to you that says slime nerd. Dance your question, dance, slap. That's a slimed nerd. Tantz your question, Dan. Slat. That's all you got to say. Okay, thank you. Just kind of just do one of those and slap. That's a toning, not a great weekend for you as a national Jags supporter. Well, you know, I mean, look.

It was a measuring stick game. The Jags didn't measure up to the measuring stick. All the team that's really good. That's all it was. it was a measuring stick game the Jags didn't measure up to the measuring stick all the team That's really good. That's all it was it was a measuring stick game, but They're still frisky There have been 296 offensive games played that was the 288th worst this season, but frisky Living in a world of trending topics and keeping up with sports and culture that you actually care about can feel like a full-time job but frisky, but frisky. the biggest topics in sports and pop culture the only way to know how. Using Royal Rumble rules. Two stories enter, one gets tossed over the top rope. Rinton repeat until one final story from the news is left standing in the middle of the

ring with his hand raised as the undisputed, most important thing on planet earth that week. Follow over the top on the Wondering app. Or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to over the top early and add free right now by the Wondry app. Or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to over the top early and add free right now by joining Wondry Plus. In front of the record, this is not a wrestling podcast. It's just inspired by wrestling. Isn't everything?

Don Lebertard. The alley has a bad reputation in general, right? It does. It's brought American history. But on South Beach, someone's always just sitting somewhere, smoking a cigarette. You can't go down an alley around here and not see someone sitting there smoking a cigarette. It retains a pulsating heat from the night before.

You walk by some liquid that your like is that water. It's rain last night. That's definitely not water. Avoid the liquid. Always avoid the liquid in an alley. Still gots. I venture to guess that if you were to rake your tongue on the asphalt of an alley, you would die immediately.

I don't think it would be immediately, though. First, you'd contract very quickly right before death several sexual diseases, and then you would die. This is the Dan Lebatar Show with this Tugats! They've seen an audience. Mr. Mark is badly as they have with Victor Wemba Nyama. Getting miscategorized as this hater, there isn't a stronger voice of support for Victor Wemba Nyama in this business than me.

I am, no one rates Victor Wemba Nyama more highly than me. But unfortunately, someone has to speak up for the great game of basketball. You are being accused of extreme levels of mental illness previously unseen in sports. That's okay, commentary. That, that, a number one, that's offensive. And number two, I think we actually have a real crisis in this country of mental illness

when it comes to identity fandom. You have all these Twitter accounts. Their identities are tied up in the success of victor wambanama where they're totally missing the mark with me no one loves him more than me no one no one i no one thinks victor wambanama is as good as i do no one to the point that he should be banned from the sport you said he's bad at basketball that's besides a point.

That's the part. Guys, what's... Mike, do you love him or do you love basketball? I love basketball. Because you said you loved basketball, that's why you love him. I love basketball more. I love basketball more. And thank God he stinks right now.

Thank the Lord up above because our sacred, beautiful game of basketball, the Sanctite that he's still protected because he's not good yet. He's an awful basketball player, but that day, that day where he figures it out, it's coming. Billy, why are you making it? Coming like a ball turns an awful basketball player is a bit much.

He's really bad. He's really terrible. He's trying to help him out. He's telling the guy in the hands. Good play. No one loves him more, but I'm telling you that day is coming and it's coming quickly. As long as this Greg Papa, Vitch or whatever, his name is called figures out how to coach him. Look out. Billy came in here today, a rare kind of radiant given

that he's halfway through an unending football season where he has to chase two gods around every week all over the country and Stu got just spends all his time rolling boogers on his finger and picking up the phone in the middle of a segment to what am I keeping you? Are you busy? Like what do you do? I'm just checking out my notes to make sure you know I have almost up together. I am. I mean I'm serious. This is a big week for see where you're at on over unders for the season. Yeah. That is not what you're

doing. He was checking his nose a minute ago. There's a wrong Washington joke I left off. I was going to ask you his favorite soft drink. You were going to say Coke. I was going to say, good guess, but now it's diet Pepsi. That's all. I mean, Billy, the reason that you were radiant coming. You know, switch a root, you know?

The reason that you were radiant coming in today, I think one of the greatest feelings that a person can feel is finding money in their genes that they didn't know. The reason that you were radiant coming in today, I think one of the greatest feelings that a person can feel is finding money in their genes that they didn't know was in their pants in the washing machine, but you this weekend, twice, discovered things that you thought had been lost forever. Correct.

And this discovery and this awe made back to back by the way. Wow. Like what are these things that you thought were? Well, Dan, great question. These are things that many people might think are inconsequential and not things that should make me so happy. But I've been on a hunt for these things

for quite a long time. So I was looking one of the things and it's hard to describe. My wife's car's key bob thing, whatever it is, right? It has like a little plastic compartment on it, it has a secret key inside, so I guess if the battery dies, there's a secret key inside that you would take out,

and then you put it in, the good people at Mazda decided this was a good idea. So then what happened was, is the good people at Mazda also somehow figured out if you leave the key in the car sometimes it just locks itself, then it's very hard to get into this car. So what happened was, is one time that happened, the car was on, but it locked itself and my daughter was inside and I said, I'm going to have to punch this glass open if I can't get this door open.

So I'm there. I had a video tap. Well, I had my, luckily I had the spares on me so I was there and I'm trying to, you know, do the whole thing as you can see here's the, you know, the key file. How horrified were you as this is happening? I was panicking, I'm insured.

That's my normal state. So imagine that intensified. So I'm there panicking and then eventually like, I'm like, oh, I can rip this thing open and I can get the manual key and do it because a good people Mazda figured out this hack. The good people have looped backroat Mazda. Yeah.

So I think this is actually Palm Metal 57 Mazda. Ooh, come through. Was that where it was? No, it was the one, no, it's Brickle Mazda. Shout out to Brickle Mazda. Brickle Mazda. Anyway. I'd like him to be our new executive producer.

So in this panic, the plastic housing of the thing falls off, the little back door of this thing falls off where the secret key compartment is, and then I left and I didn't realize until hours later, and I was like, I can't go back, that's gone forever. And now this is at least when I return this car, they're going to charge me $6,000 for this little plastic door. That's so true, by the way. Yep. It's so fuls by the way. Yep, I thought. It's so fulsure what they do to you.

I even bought this little silicone housing case for they used to put on no keyas. It's a grip for this. You guys are so right, my key costs $500 or something asinine. It's like, no, it's only because they can do that too. Because you need a key. It's this little plastic door that's on the back of it.

So the car is doing a year year and for the last like year I've been stressing out what am I going to do in a year when this is due I don't have it I don't think that little silicone casing I bought is going to suffice they're gonna charge me thousands of dollars Do I just say that I want to keep the car to avoid like do I spend more thousands of dollars to avoid them figuring out That I lost this piece of plastic to avoid them figuring out that I lost this piece of plastic. I looked on the internet, I couldn't find a replacement anywhere. It's gouging, correct? This is a criminal action by the good people at the monster. All kids say it's put it on the pole, please, Jude. You're at Leviton show. Should the good

people at Mars that all go to the top? Don't put that, maybe they'll be Smok's one day. Want Tom? Put Daddy up in it. It seems extreme, but this is a straight outing. It's not them, they're just following the rules. Everyone does this. Bullshit, too, by the way. All of the car companies are doing this.

They're stealing our money. Well, and then I also lost my watch, my Apple watch, so you can see I'm now wearing the watch. The watch. This is what happened with that, is that when I was about to have my second daughter, I said, you know what, I want to put on the watch my Apple watch so you can see I'm now wearing. So this is what happened with that, is that when I was about to have my second daughter, I said you know what I wanna put on the watch

to make sure that I see what my heart rate is when the baby's born, cause I'm sure it's gonna be something astronomical. So I wanted to document this. So weird by the way. Why? It's great. I wanna see what my heart rate had to jump,

but all I was at this time. I lost the watch, I couldn't find it. Like a week beforehand, I lost the watch. I couldn't figure out where it was. For months now, I was like, I know this is in my house somewhere, I can't find it anywhere. I checked the nightstand, I checked my car, I checked my voice, love a car.

I've checked every place, I've checked every backpack that I've ever taken, I had another backpack, I spilled a coconut when I was on jury duty as a whole mess. So I looked everywhere to see where this watch could be where the, so I've given up on these two things, right? So then yesterday, I'm in my wife's car, I'm a passenger, I'm in the front passenger seat of the car,

and I'm like cleaning it out, because there's like water bottles and all this stuff. And then I see this piece of plastic, and I go, oh, this can't be. This cannot be piece of plastic. What a great son of a- Because I thought that I lost it at the OBGYN when we were going for a doctor's visit, so I was

convinced that it was on the floor of the parking lot. So I find it, I'm like, no way, and I'm just like going like shit, ruffling through my keys, all excited, I was like, will it fit? I was like, king Arthur. So I was going to see if I could pull the sword from the stone. So I go, I take off the silicone thing, I put it on, it slides right on, I go, it's a miracle, I was so excited, my wife could not care less. I was so excited, I'm like,

do you know what I just found? Do you know how great this is? You won't believe this. I just found the piece of plastic that's been missing for months, for your key. That was gonna cost us probably thousands of dollars. We were never gonna get rid of this car because I was not gonna pay that.

We would have kept this car until the day that I die. But, Dan, I meet my maker to not give them money for that piece of plastic. And then I swear, Dan, I swear to goodness. I told her right then after that. I said, you know what, I bet you know, I find my watch. I told her just like that. And then I open the glove compartment,

I start ruffling around, I've looked in that glove compartment in no less than six times. I look in there, and I go like this, and I just pull it out,, I've looked in that glove compartment in no less than six times. I look in there and I go like this and I just pull it out and I hold it up. I go, see, I found it. Great day. Wow. That my bed broke at night in the middle of the night. Hell yeah.

By the way, not like that. By the way, the good people that Ford have an app that's on your phone here that you can actually start your car in the locker version. Or the even better people at a Rigo Dodge. We now pause for station identification. Where's Gus Machado? That's an obnoxious thing that cars do now. The whole start your car.

Like this guy I'm at lunch to say, I gotta start my car. So you got it. I'll start my car when I get in it. Okay. I mean, if it's a hot day, if it's 90 degrees, you can start calling me. You know what, the air goes to you, come on.

Yeah, the air's on for a minute. Guess what, I'm cool down. Yeah, but cool down for a minute before you get in. I'm just a car. It's an obnoxious thing when I'm walking up to the car and I see like the car's starage as obnoxious. It's obnoxious. In 140 degree heat, if you've got black leather seats

and can start your car to pull it off. Where does he have a rego dodge? Chrysler Jeep Ram. That steering wheel, oh my, burn your burn your hair hamstrings if you're wearing shorts You got a short or better off You made me think of this though Billy because I made a purchase recently that I can imagine you making And you make silicon key fob holder. No. Oh, I read a horrifying story About an old woman who was headed out on the ferry that

goes to Fisher Island that only takes cars on the ferry. The old woman was in her car, drove off and drowned. I saw that. Yeah, and after that, I mean, it seems like a horrifying way to go. She could not get out of her car, and the car just sank to the bottom of the sea. So I purchased one of these things that breaks windows from the inside.

That's what it was, right? That did happen to you. Hold on, now we're speaking my language. I got two of those. What is yours look like? It's a big orange. It looks like a big orange. Oh, the silicone one.

Or the spherical one, did it have also has the cutter and then has a beacon on it and a flashlight. I am ready to cut myself out of a trapped cave situation. That's an emotional buy man. With this tool. Yes, no, it's an essential. You need to have one of those in every single car that you have.

You have them in every car of a lover. You know my wife actually used that thing this week and I swear to goodness, she used it this weekend and she cut a tag off of her shirt using that knife and I was like well and she's like it works I go yeah it has to work that's supposed to cut a seat belt if that doesn't cut a tag we're gonna have big problems but when you said you locked your baby in your car no the car locked itself I did not your baby was in the car in a locked car for a very short amount of time the car was on. I did not. Your baby was in the car, in a locked car. For a very short amount of time, the car was on. Now who's the bad parent?

You wanted to lock your child in a car with a... A locked strife, you didn't know what a lock. That was crazy. That was crazy. With no circulation and no ventilation. That is such a... This guy's such a liar. That is a weird way of saying that.

There's ventilation in this garage. No, I think this is supposed to be a garage. The car was crazy to me. There air goes nowhere. If you have an accident after 911 call for 911. That thing can break open my windshield in all my life. I wonder, and I think it can. It can.

Who's tested it? If you scratch the car. Let's do it on dance car. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. If I can get out. Yes. And anything I can do, I can to correct number one in the nation.

Let's test it on one of your cars. Lock me in your car, see if I can get out. Yes, and any one of your cars available for this, will you see how quickly I can get out of your car? We will film it. We will see how quickly I can shatter the glass without with my orange ball-peen hammer of a window shattering device that I could I could be busting devices. I could be busting windows all over this parking garage. You hurt yourself? Who do you health?

It seems dangerous, right? Because then you just have like shards of glass everywhere. Yeah. Well, not as dangerous as sinking to the bottom of the sea trapped in your car because you can't get out of the windows because you think you're going to break the windows with your feet vigorously breaking in. You're not by much. You know, if you just open the door when the pressure is equal on both sides, it should just open you should go up.

You don't think that when you're sitting to the bottom of the seat. You have to be composed to do that. Billy doesn't understand how panic works. It's dark news. No one understands better than I. You should add on life form it. But you have to be so calm. It's darkness. No one understands better than I.

You said that on life form. But you had to, like, be so calm.