The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz - Hour 1: Let's Fix The Dolphins Vol. 1 (feat. Adam Archuleta)

Episode Date: January 7, 2026

"You have dancing swords when you need a qk." The red-headed stepchild of NFL analysts is here to do Troy Aikman's job for our show and for far less money: it's time to fix the Miami Dolphins. Also, nocturnal meandering, cults, and colts. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This is the Dan Levitar show with the Stucats podcast. So do you guys know how many times the Arizona Cardinals have made the playoffs in their 106 seasons as a franchise? Because I don't expect any of you to know that answer. Twice. It is 11 playoff appearances in 106 years. Harbaugh had 12 in 18 seasons with the Raven. So it's a little harder to do than people think. I'm stunned that the guest bookers have indeed, I just thought Archelette is a great name to say.

It's a fun name to say. And I didn't think that they'd produce him quite this quickly, but Adam Archeletta is indeed there ready to give us all the advice we need on how it is to fix the dolphins. Can you just throw together some cruddy imaging as fast as you can that introduces this new segment, how to fix the dolphins? Let's fix the dolphins. Fix the dolphins. Fix the Dolphins. Fix the dolphins. Fix the dolphins.

Fix the dolphins. Let's fix the dolphins. Fix the dolphins. Fix the dolphins. Do it like Aikman. Aikman alphabetically is before Archeletta, but Archeletta is a broadcaster whose help we need to fix. The Dolphins, former first round pick, obviously a safety in the league for many years.

And he's the one of the voices in the AFC South, a member of the famous AFC South group chat that Mike Ryan has not been included in. So we are pleased to have him here. How would you, sir, thank you for being with us. How would you fix the Dolphins? Well, first, you forgot to throw in their connoisseur of really awful backup quarterback play. And I think we're now, we've graduated from the AFC South now that Jacksonville is so good. We're now part of the quasi-AFC North, AFC East. So you got to add that into my introduction. Okay.

I'm sorry I introduced you poorly. You didn't answer my question at all. Listen, I mean, the dolphins, where do you start? I mean, you're in contract hell. You got to figure out your quarterback situation. Did I mention you were in contract hell? You got to get the GM, the head coach on the same page. There's a lot of fun stuff that you've got to do down in South Florida.

I feel like that's exactly what Aikman is being paid to tell Stephen Ross. 100%. It may sound ridiculous to you, but this is what Troy Aikman probably said. Man, where do you start? You know, it is. And look, there's a lot of haves and there's a lot of have-nots in the NFL. And if you are saddled with... with a quarterback, a hole at quarterback,

and you're saddled with salary cap quarterback L, then that is a really, really tough place to start. Until you figure that out, then it's gonna be an uphill battle, for sure. Adam, does it bother you that we want you to do for free what Troy Aikman's getting paid a lot of money likely for? You know what? In a way, it does a little bit,

But, you know, I've got to understand where I'm at in life. I have a great gig. I've done well in life. But as far as analysts go, I'm not a quarterback. I'm not a Hall of Famer. So I'm kind of like the red-headed stepchild of analysts. You look great. I do a lot of things for a lot less money than the quarterbacks do.

So I'm kind of used to it. That's kind of part of my deal. And doing stuff for free, I guess, is kind of my wheelhouse. So, Adam, if you were being paid to advise Stephen Ross, are you telling him today, nah, stick with Mike McDaniel, or are you telling him, go after John Harbaugh? But you're doing it very poorly, I should say, as an advice giver, when you say, when you come in instead of forcefully telling us what it is he should do, you're saying, well, where do you start?

It's a hell of an uphill battle. We need confidence, conviction. Yeah, we need you to give it. Tell us what to do. Shoot the gap. yeah you go you go after you go after guys that have done it and you go after program builders and listen i you know on one hand i i do i do like getting some new blood in the building a guys that are young that guys have a different creative mind and you tried that with mcdaniel look

i i like what leum cohen is done in jacksonville you know and i like what some of these young guys have to offer so yes is there a fancy um What would the new coach have to do in Miami, similar to the... Doral. That's happening. Dahl. Mike, before you get out of here, I know you wanted to talk to, Adam, for a while because you want to be a part of this group chat.

Yeah, Adam, I'm hopping on a bird right now to your old stomping grounds for the Fiesta Bowl, but I was so excited to hear your name pop up because Spiro Didis made me a promise. And I take someone's word very seriously. In his last appearance, he promised that I could get added to this. this AFC South group chat. One of my passions is watching Spiro and Adam on the call of AFC South games and hearing Moelli Cox and the Jigs, the Jigs.

Please, can you find it in your heart to actually add me to this group chat? I love the AFC South Boys. I'm cool with it, but we didn't, we changed the name. Okay, I'll be an AFC East boy. It's like AFC East, North, I think actually we changed it just recently the other day to solid five crew or the number number one fifth crew i think of sure

change it to moali cox and let me rip that thing yes uh what about spin cycle crew i'm with it what just all i'm gonna be doing is sending mo alley cox jiffs that's what i bring to the table i'm a vibes guy you're in all right don't you like make a promise oh I make a promise give me you're you're in I you know what first like hold on I got it I got to clear with the D D D D D's kind of make sure that you're cool with it you know but as long as you bring something to the table you know what I mean like you got to bring you got to be able to bring it I can ha ha to your jokes with the best of them thumbs up you got I need I need creative sticker oh oh dude some creative stickers and some you know the new thing is like you got to be really really really good with some great grok image creation and an animation. So if you can, if you can bring that to the table, that is welcome. I'll vouch for you. Oh, dude. This chat is about to level up. Adam, thank you for being on with us. We appreciate the insight. I feel like we have fixed the dolphins and we have brought an assortment of things to a table. So those are, those are good things.

So I'll give my number. Thank you. Yes, you're going to have to talk to him off air about getting the number. You wanted to say something, Adam? I just feel like I added zero value to the conversation and zero insight. So it means you did your job. As long as that's cool with you, I mean, that's what you get when you give advice for free and you're not paid for it, all right?

I feel like that's the same advice the dolphins are paying for. I don't feel like they're getting any better for their dollar than we're getting for our lack of dollars. I'm just saying I appreciate contributing to nothing. And anytime you guys want me to come in, I'm good for it. Greg, I believe that that would have been a good time to use the Telestrator to just draw things on Adam Archoletta's face.

Have you forgotten that you have the Telestrator? Yeah, I did forget. Hang on. It's our first day with the Telestrator out of right now. He's gone now. Oh, he's still there. There we go. Yeah, he's still here now.

Oh, the arrow through the head. You're going to that old again. Nice. Nice. One of you are going to Steve Martin. Steve Martin, yes. Adam, thank you for playing along. We do appreciate it.

We're going to try and do it every day until the dolphins get it fixed. Appreciate it. I can't wait. Thanks, guys. Have a good one. I love that guy. He was so good on American Idol, too. That was a success, unlike the Miami Dolphins for the last 25 years. Hey, Jeremy, happy holidays. Happy Junuka. I want to toast you. Actually, I don't. I will toast with you. Okay. We're co-workers.

Mm-hmm. Friends, you could say. No, we cannot say that, but we both enjoy an ice cold Miller light. That's true. on the holidays. You know, it's a 50th anniversary of Miller Light. It's really amazing. Every time we say that, I can't believe it. Well, it's crazy because, like, they've basically been partners with the Dan Lebitard show for half of their existence. When I put it to you that way, we got an old-ass show. Yeah, we do. That's crazy. Hey, let's look around at our friends, not each other, and our family, even though they're not here. I do miss your brother, though. Yeah, I know. I'll

bring him back. And take that first sip. Look around and know that we made the right decision When it comes to a domestic light logger, Miller Light is the best. And it's a holiday season, as we mentioned. Why don't you enjoy that holiday season? By drinking a beer that won't weigh you down. The original light beer since 1975, still hidden different, 50 years later, brewed for flavor with simple ingredients like malted barley, rich, balanced coffee notes, and that iconic golden color that you can see from across the room.

The best holiday beers are the ones you don't expect. Miller Lite, great taste, 96 calories. Go to millerlight.com slash Dan to find delivery options near you. Or you can pick up some Miller light pretty much anywhere they sell beer. Tis Miller time. Celebrate responsibly. Miller Brewing Company, Milwaukee, Wisconsin, 96 calories and 3.2 carbs per 12 ounces. All right, kicking things off with Smearnoff, the official vodka sponsor of the NFL and the number of vodka in the world.

Chris Cody, you're here. Smear enough. Wow, you're on the money with Smear-Off. Chris, do you know what goes great with Smear-N-Off? Yes, but I'm really talking about the game-day fit. The style's got to match the vibe. Spear-off! All right.

Here's the deal. Game Day is everything. And that's exactly why your fit has to match the occasion. Starting this December, Smyranoff is giving fans 21 and over the chance to score limited edition Smyranoff commission merchandise from some of today's top creators, including Kayla Jones, Gavin Matthew, and Ailely May. Smirnoff! Here's the kicker. One lucky fan will take home the grand prize, a trip to the biggest game of the offseason. Plus, one fan will win Ale May's one-of-one game day jacket.

The merch will be dropped on select dates from December to January 21, and it's all courtesy of what brand? That's right, Chris, fans, 21 and over can head to Smyranoff socialists to learn how to sign up. And don't forget to grab a bottle of Smyrnav vodka, at your local retail. Smyrath. Please drink responsibly. Smyranoff. Number 21 vodka distilled from grain, 40% alcohol by volume, the Smyranoff Company, New York, New York. Please do not share with anybody under legal drinking aid.

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We were made to easily bundle your trip. Expedia, made to travel. Don Lebertard. Football. Football. Football. Football. Football.

Football. Football. Football. Football. Football. Football. Stugats This is the Dan Lebattear show with the Stugats.

I didn't think could be done by a human being. Can we get Wembe, please, kicking some basketballs out of a basketball net? It felt like AI to me. At Lebitard Show, do you believe a poll should be, do you believe a human being can kick the basketball rim, that any human being can kick a basketball rim? because this is as close as I have ever seen a human being being able to almost kick. He could definitely kick the rim.

And spoiler alert, it's Wembe for the audio audience. It's Wembe, and there are four or five basketball stuck in the netting, and he just, instead of knocking it out with his hands, he jumps up and he knocks it out with his feet. He's doing it from a standstill. He could definitely kick the rim. And he could have just stood there and hit it, unlike just about any other human being.

He wouldn't have had to jump. His foot was like, like his foot was a foot short, I'd say, of the rim. Only because it hit the basketball. That looked like he was getting full excelling. I don't know if he could do the rim. But he wasn't trying to hit the room. He was only trying to get the bottom of the net. You're saying a little crow hop or something?

I mean, he's doing a karate kid crane kick there. Give him a couple steps to get some momentum. You guys understand the question, though. So you've now seen it and you have some context. It wasn't very long ago that this was an unknown person in France. here's Wemby standing next to Shaq. Making Shaq look like me. And dwarfing Shaquille O'Neal.

Shack is so big. Yeah, that's the only comment anyone ever makes. No, Jeremy, I'm not kidding you. Okay, anytime I've been with Shaq, what ends up happening around Shaq is people walk away from him muttering, he's so big. He's got to be tired of that. But it's also like, how is that not obviously what you came in with as information on Shaquille O'Neal? to still be stunned by it. If you watch the Minnesota game last night...

Those other players are actually standing. If you saw the Minnesota game last night, you saw that Rudy Gobert and the athleticism of the Timberwolves defense was a huge problem for everything the Miami Heat were doing. To see Wembe Dwarf Rudy Gobert, I would have thought two years ago, if you had asked me, and I had no introduction to

there's a 7 foot 7 person, in France. Is there a human being who can kick a basketball rim? My answer would have been absolutely under no circumstances has there ever been a human being who can do that. Wouldn't that have been your answer? Yes. Of course. Would anybody, like, is there any context? Who would be second place on this list of people that you think would come close to being able to kick a basketball ring? I mean, take like Yao, for instance. Yow was what? 7, 4, 7.5. There's no way he'd be able to come close to kicking the rim. I think maybe someone who is literally doing a full backflip where their entire body was flipped the other way.

But the crazy part is it's, Wembe is just kicking one leg in the air. The other leg is near the ground. It's the flexibility that's frequent. This is a 7 foot 6 person who can palm the ground and do the splits. Like, no one is like this. It's the reason, like, he spent time at a monastery in the office. season, he is a absolute freak of nature and mentally he's that way too. It's so cool. That's crazy. Look at him. Greg, do a split. Go do a split like that. Is your knee? I know you're getting back into bowling, but could you do that split? Yeah, no, not really. His split is definitely

taller than me, right? Yes. By the way, don't kick the rim because what a way to get injured. Your foot gets caught in the net. Does seem reckless. I mean, it's the most dangerous thing I've ever seen. Good point. So Mike Ryan has just fled the facility because he is rushing out to the Fiesta Bowl. A hop on a bird. A place that is haunting for the University of Miami. Put it on the poll at Lebitard show, douche or no douche,

a guy who calls a plane a bird and says he's got to hop on a bird when he could just say, I've got to catch a flight. And I don't, why do people do that? He sounds better. I'm for it because he's Mike. Why does Adam Archiletta bring things to a table? Why does everybody bring? Why is it?

Why are things being brought to a table when people are talking about what other people add to a community. I'm not going to put it on the floor. I mean, where else am I going to bring something? I just imagine people sitting around a table having a good time. Hey, how you doing? Bring it to the counter. It doesn't hit the same.

But is it because you're serving a meal? Is that why things are being brought to a table? Because people are served at a table. And so you're bringing an assortment of wonders to a table. That's the reason that we're doing it. You hate a potluck, Dad. You don't like when other people bring food to your house. As long as they clear it with me first.

I don't like the unannounced food delivery. Can I say something that happened before the show today that I found genuinely shocking, even though I've known Greg Cody from, I'm going to say, 45 years. 40 years I've known Greg Cody. Even by his behavior's standards, even by his general entitlement as he's aged, I don't know if you saw this happen

because you may have been getting dressed as low. I was watching. No, this was stunning. This was stunning to me. How many people saw what I'm about to describe that happened before the show? Roy, were you there? Did you see what happened with Greg Cody before the show? Because I was legitimately shocked by the amount of entitlement in it.

I think I did. Yes, I believe I did. All right. So you'd know if you saw it because it was stupefying. So Greg Cody has that thermos, and that thermos is filled with coffee, and he dropped it on the floor, and there was a giant puddle at his feet. and he just stood there waiting for someone else to clean it. Didn't make a move or a gesture as if he had any intention of going to grab anything that would clean the stain that was now spilling at his feet all around his feet because it was a lot.

It was leaking. He did bend over and stop it from leaking by picking it up. But then nothing else other than wiping a wet foot of his. making it worse. On the carpet, making everything worse. He waited for others, never made a move. Why do you do that? It's the entitlement of age. You know, when you drop something, you expect your juniors, one of your juniors, to come to your age. Who in particular would you have said should be the one? I complimented Jeremy earlier because I don't take these things lightly. In fact, I've included Jeremy in my will because of his kind gesture.

Jeremy leapt to the rescue and immediately grabbed a bunch of paper towels and cleaned up my mess. Did I appreciate it? Of course I did. Did he show you appreciation? He did later on. Not in the moment, but afterward we were standing in the commissary together, and my fellow heath three member turned to me and said, Jeremy, I really appreciate what you did for me. I don't take these things lightly, as he just said now on the show.

Now, it would have been nice for a little help, but I do appreciate the appreciation. Honest to God, I was confused because I would think that the general shame and embarrassment of being in front of a bunch of people and spilling something would immediately, just as an instinct, make someone try to clean it up just because they were embarrassed. The fact that he does not have this chip and just stood there, staring ahead, waiting for a servant, a butler, a janitor, somebody to have. appear with cleanup equipment without ever having the reflex, the instinctual reflex that I think any human being would have, even if they spilled something with no one watching. Like, even if

you're just a human being who was by yourself, the fact that he was surrounded by people not only didn't produce the shame that I expected, it produced the entitlement of somebody else will do this. I'd have to do it if I were by myself. But because I'm surrounded by people, clearly someone else will handle this for me you hit that on the head you do this in the kitchen a lot when you're cooking with mom because you do this thing where you're in charge of the meal but you will assign things

mom you're in charge of the biscuits if mom puts those biscuits in the oven while she's helping you with all your different things if you look in you see those biscuits are done Erlene the bis like you won't just grab the biscuits out you're like I'm not doing that that's Arlene's task I'll just stare

at the biscuits yeah because I have even though she's helped you she stirred your corn a little bit. She checked on your turkey. But when it comes to you helping with the biscuits, it's, Erlene, the biscuits. I can't touch these. I assign them to you. Did I ask her to stir my corn? But it's all about when you're in the kitchen, we're all cooks helping each other.

You could just grab the biscuits. Corn elder. No, I didn't ask her to do that. That kind of thing. Yeah. And the other one? What number is that kind of thing going to be in the top 50? That's the top five.

That's got to be, yeah. top five. Don't give it away. I don't want to give her anything away. What was the one dad that you added this morning to like, because we're still adding phrases to the master list. That's what I'm, trust me. I'm so annoyed. He started 49 and 50 without having the list completed. Let me give the context to the listeners who might not have any idea what we're talking about. The Greg Cody show featuring Greg Cody with for the next 25 weeks in a row will unveil two at a time, Greg Cody's signature catchphrases starting this. week with number 50, Fuller than Vern Fuller, and number 49. Can I hear a click-click?

No, where's my click-click-click? Where's my click-click? There's my click. That's when he wants somebody in the back seat of his car to fasten a seatbelt. Forgive me for forgetting that catchphrase that I thought I learned yesterday. If you don't do the where's my click-click, is that just like someone who, you know, you don't value? If they don't click, you mean? If you're not asking, if you don't care enough about them to say, where's my clickler? Well, I'm not going to do it to an adult. Like, if you're in my backseat, I'm not going to go, where's my click, I'm going to assume that you're going to buckle the belt without being told.

So this is a helpful, like, children. This is a kid. This is children's music. It's for toddlers and, you know. He did it in my childhood and he does it to my daughter now. Can you imagine an adult's reaction gets in the backseat of his car and he says that? Can you imagine any of your body? Any other adult in the world spilling coffee at their feet and expecting a whole bunch of other people to come pick it up?

Like, that's the behavior of a dictator. A lot of coffee spilled because it was Fuller than Vern Fuller. Thank you. So the two phrases added to the spreadsheet where Greg can now see where they're going to be in, it's Dancing Swords and Nocturnal Meanderings. Dancing Swords is sneaky. That's a sneaky good phrase. That's whenever you have to take a QK. Yeah, right.

QK also in there. Yeah, Dancing Swords, I got a credit. a friend of mine for inventing that, the late great Alan Cherry. A lot of these come from Alan Cherry. No, I wouldn't say a lot. Can you tell people what a QK is? Because it's a quick crap. You need the K? Throughout my whole life, whenever my dad's got to go potty, tells my mom,

hey, I got to take a QK. So we have dancing swords when you need a QK. And dancing swords is that feeling in your stomach that it feels like you have swords in your stomach. You know, there are QKs without dancing swords, but there's never a dancing sword without a QK. Put that on the pool. I believe, like a square in a rhombus.

believe that most people listening to this have heard the expression dancing swords. I think that dancing swords is something dancing swords is something that people say about the stomach.

I didn't know that. I don't think that that one is unique to you. I don't think I've heard that before. Look it up. Look up stomach and dancing swords and see if anything comes up there, Jeremy, because I thought that that was a known expression, but it may just be a known expression because I've heard Greg Cody use it since he was taking QKs in the

Harold bathroom many years ago. He's changed your belief in the American language because all that comes up is like belly dancing. Yeah, I invented that. Actually, my friend... Yeah, you said Alan did. Alan did, but I inherited that from him. Did you wait until he passed to start saying it?

No, I honored him during his time on earth by incorporated into my lexicon. Rest in power. This is what I will tell you guys about Greg's phrase, Nocturnal Meanderings. I was at his 40th birthday party the first time I heard that phrase to refer to sex. He was trying to make sure that everyone that was there understood that he was talking about sex when he mentioned nocturnal, nighttime, and meanderings. And I spoke next, and I just asked him,

you know people do have sex during the day right like that it's something that hadn't dawned on him like he was already he was already at the age where he's like sex is only something that people have at night it's not something that you do when the lights are on when there's any light somewhere in the vicinity it's only something after a dozen beers it happens in the quiet of the dark under the blankets like there cannot be any light wherever it is that there are meandering i mean we all turn the lights off no is that just me all right close the blinds i mean there is a song written about me called morning man so it doesn't only happen at night but i am willing to say nocturnal meandering is a thing you know most people associate sex with a nighttime activity i

think i may be wrong don lebertard baker mayfield tearing up tampa bay 30 for 45 Stugats Shredom! This is the Dan Lebatar show with the Stugats. When you mentioned morning, you made me think of something that I thought of during the break.

I'm flipping through the channels and I'm pretty mortified. I've talked about this before. The amount of content that is, either cult-related or specifically murder-related right now is crazy to me, just the sheer, the sheer volume of murder-related content. I don't get those shows. Yeah, well, you don't get them as in you don't understand why people are watching.

Yeah, I don't have interest. I don't like that kind of stuff. Yeah, it's super dark and super strange, but it was, I think it was the Oxygen channel I was flipping through and I was stunned on Christmas Day. to see a show that was titled Homicide for the Holidays and then was called Christmas Morning, spelled M-O-U-R-N-I-N-G. And I'm like, you have to be shitting me.

This is just a very strange thing that's happening right now in our country where there is so much mass coverage of murder that people are enjoying, that people have realized that this is a content entity, that is obviously profitable, and I don't get it either. Like, I'll occasionally watch the jinx to see if there's a mystery involved. I know that much of this is mystery-based. Like, the proliferation of the podcast industry has a ton of this stuff in it

where people like following the mystery that leads to murder, and I know that people find murder curious all the time. But there can't be another time in American history that has it as a context. source the way that we have it now. Like there can't be anything close to this in terms of people just paying money or spending this much time watching and listening to things that have to do with murder. Where did it start? I feel like it was that how to make a murderer.

It was the serial podcast first, I believe, in terms of the timing. But yeah, making a murderer, I believe was the first one that I remember hitting like that on streaming because now was just access to all this information. Yeah, like I remember my wife and my older son were watching. the Dahmer, you know, docuadrama. And I was like, it's safe for me. I don't know why you guys like this stuff. Yeah, there's always been a fascination with crime in this country and a morbid fascination.

And you mentioned Dahmer. Serial killers have groupies. They get male in prison. You know what I'm saying? Like, there are certain people who are just drawn to crime. And you mentioned podcasts. Isn't Manson, like the most famous one, right? Yeah, it's a cult thing.

So weird. Yeah, I mean, it's beyond weird. I'm really into the cult stuff and into the serial killer stuff, just not the random murders. Like, the one-off murders, they're too sad. The serial killer stuff, I'm just fascinated by the mind, right? Like, I find all, like, Mind Hunter, the TV show, canceled way too soon. That was fascinating. All those documentaries about, like, the successful serial killers.

Yeah, like Mind Hunter's a show. Yeah, but it went. into the real, but it went into the real serial killers. Like they end up interviewing people who are playing those serial killers. And that's why you have shows where you'll have like OJ made in America you'll have the documentary, but then you'll also have

the dramatized version because people can't get enough. That's a one-off situation. I don't like the stuff that's real. But the, I find the, especially the cult stuff. Like I don't understand how you don't find that interesting. No, I'm, I'm, I'm interested in the cult stuff. The cult stuff also often has murder in it.

Yeah, that's always the end destination. They're combining the two now. I will awkwardly segue, though, into some football conversation here that I did want to have with you guys because there are a number of interesting things this weekend to pay attention to. From the cults to the Colts. Well, if the Colts were in the playoffs, yeah, but they are not, unfortunately. So that doesn't really work. But thank you for the help there.

I do appreciate that. And the Gunslinger Dance that you just did, putting your finger guns in your whole. But the thing that I wanted to ask all of you from the games this weekend, what are the most interesting things to you that are the games themselves, but also other things involved with the games that you are interested in? For example, D.K. Metcalf came really close, not just to cashing, costing himself $45 million in guarantees, but costing Pittsburgh the ability to be in the playoffs and possibly ending Aaron Rogers' career. But more quietly, Denzel Perriman missed two games for the Chargers. The Chargers are playing against the Patriots. I'm super interested in that game for a number of different reasons. The only place I've seen Justin Herbert be truly terrible is in Foxborough against Belichick.

everywhere else. He's great, but his offensive line really stinks. It's an offensive line that does not belong in the playoffs. It's the worst of the offensive lines in the playoffs. It's a big ask of Justin Herbert. But Denzel Perriman is returning to action after missing two games. And I wanted you to look up for me, if you don't mind, Jeremy. What was found, the specifics of what was found in Denzel Perriman's car earlier this year when police pulled him over because this is a man who is terrifying. He went to the University of Miami. He is physically violent.

He's a great football player. The Chargers are getting him back. He makes a difference because he's a great deal of fun to watch. But I remember reading about him earlier this season and wondering to myself, under what circumstances or why would you have to have those particular things in your car driving around? Because I don't know the specifics of this case. Can you help me with the specific? of I don't remember whether or not he was actually arrested.

I don't think there was a crime involved here. It just made me super curious about what's going on in this person's life that this is the kind of artillery that this person is driving around with. He faced no criminal charges, but he was arrested for a felony weapons charge because when he was pulled over for a vehicle code violation, they discovered five firearms in his car, including two assault rifles. So under what circumstances, I remember Hassan White'side one time, got in trouble down here because they found a gun in his car that was not even just a simple handgun. It was a machine gun, I think.

Remember Ryan Tannahill's wife? Yep. She had like a whole arsenal in her trunk. But can you, is that someone who's just a gun enthusiast who's coming back from the gun range? Like, why would you need five, why would you need five guns in your car and why? Why would two of them need to be assault rifles? Like, under what circumstance do you imagine any of you driving around with that in your car? Because I can understand, one, to protect yourself.

In fact, there are many athletes who do this because I told you this story before. Anton Jameson would often, on the way home, circle several times around his home, to make sure no one was following him because people know that athletes have money and people know that they can take money from athletes. although now that no one's carrying cash, I think that you have to actually now abduct. Send me a Venmo. You have to abduct the athlete in order to get what you wanted. But in a previous time, people knew that they could grab the jewelry or grab things of value from the car.

So athletes do have to be careful driving home. Is it like scan this QR code and send me your money right now? Is that your threatening? I'm just saying, instead of give me all your money, I have a QR code that they pull all your camera. But that's your carjacking voice? That's your threatening carjacking voice. Scan this code and send me all your money. Don't tell anyone.

Wait a minute. There's Biden in there. Call it a lunch. Why is Joe Biden? Because you know, you have to put a little thing in description of why you're sending it. Say we had an aggressive lunch. A weekend retreat. Scan it.

None of you have an answer to my question as to why. You're asking the wrong group of people, Dan. I think you nailed it. A gun range. That's all I got. I have an assault rifle, period. There it is. That's the question.

My mom was wearing. of me going to friends' houses that had BB guns. I think you're asking the wrong group. You shoot your eye out. That was a thing in my household, too. Going to a home that hasn't gone. Yep. I had an air rifle as a kid. That was a lot of fun. It didn't shoot

anything but air, but it sounded like a gun going off. That was great. Gun culture is run amok in this country, obviously. That's why people look at the First Amendment and they say, that means I have to have assault rifles. And athletes are just a slice of Americana. If

we're crazy about guns in America, why wouldn't athletes some of them be crazy about guns? Second Amendment. It's a fine. Whatever. Well, I think it probably matters. Second Amendment is right, yeah.

People are crazy about both amendments. You know, you can't yell fire in a movie theater. I think people are into all of them. Can't yell fire? Well, not all of them. You can't. Nobody even knows what the other amendments are, right? It's the first and the second get all the credit. The fifth one's a pretty big one.

The fifth one, yeah, the fifth one. 24th one would be discussing take a load off oh no we're good you're so good on this subject that i can see where you'd be maximum confident and swaggering about your ability to definitely navigate this particular landscape when you go whatever the difference between the first and second amendment and then you just say flatly no one knows any of the amendments all right dad jeremy's got him won't you rattle them off for it what's the fourth amendment oh you give them to us take a guess put it on the poll at lebertard show does anyone know any of the amendments other than the first second? And would you say Fifth Amendment? You said that those are the three that everyone knows? Yeah, the Fifth Amendment. You know, you don't have to incriminate yourself.

That's the big three. Yeah, that's the big three. All right. So does anyone, all right. It's the 11th Amendment. Nobody knows. And then also put in there at Lebitard show. Do any of you know the, do any of you know four amendments?

Do any, does anyone listening to this know four of the amendments? Is there like a PGA champion? Like the fourth one that's not really a major, but it should be in there. I mean, we should all probably know the 13th. Go ahead. Yeah, the 13th. I'm listening. Roy?

You know, being abolished. I don't think you should go Roy there. I don't think you need to. I mean, who else is going to say it, Dan? He just slurko. Jeremy could have said it. I'm saying he could have thrown it to you without saying Roy. That's fair.

You know what? Follow on me, coach. He could have just thrown it to the room instead of just saying. You know all about slavery. Just going to power through this one. You know, the third, it restricts the quartering of soldiers in private homes. It's really crazy, right? Unnecessary amendment.

Unnecessary. What's number four? Number four prohibits unreasonable searches and seizures without a search warrant. I like that one. That's okay, but I'm going to quarter a soldier in my home if I want to. Well, no, it's the other way around. A soldier can't just say, hey, I live in your home now. Why would he?

You're going to get squatters rights? And you guys thought this wasn't the room to have the gun conversation with, so we just segued seamlessly into this being the room to have the amendments conversation with. Let's rank the amendments. Which starts off. Power-ranking. I wrote 13 number one. Roy what the 13th Amendment says.

We know 13's not in Greg's Big Three. Oh, dad. You know, I don't know the, I'm being honest. I don't know all the amendments. I don't think many people do. The Third Amendment was ridiculously arcane. It applies to, like, centuries ago when Minutemen were wanting to stay in my house.

You know, let him go get a motel like everybody else. Right? A minute man trying to knock on my door. Get up the street, Jack. You got a gun on his shoulder? A bayonet Gunpowder Saying war things

The British are coming Yeah they were Baby Please don't make that gesture Anymore No stop Around here Just so that you guys

Who are listening on audio Can get a visual representation Of what it is that Cody was doing He was pantomiming the filling of a musket with gunpowder packing it in so that a Minuteman who appears at his door can be quartered by him. An inefficient H.J. What are you drawing on the Telestrator now? It's a musket.

Oh, that's the musket. It looks like a bowtie. It looks like a bowtie. That would be a lot of things. It looks like the very end. Why is that? Is there liquid coming out of the musket? Wait a minute.

That's not a mouset. Okay. That's not a musket. Let's take away. What is that? Now what have you done? Now what have you done? You had a musket that looked like a penis that then became what?

What were you going for there? What were you going? Why am I asking questions? Let's just watch what he comes up with here. Let's see. Sorry to do this to your audio audience. It's Mr. Peanut. Yeah.

Yeah. Of course it is. It's former President Richard Nixon. What? Folks, Draft King Sports Book, the number one sports betting, Sportsbook for live betting is turning up the stakes this NFL playoffs. Every Sunday, every Draft King's customer has a shot at over $2.5 million in prizes. Here's how it works.

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