The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz - Hour 1: Morning Wood

Episode Date: August 19, 2024

Is Noah Lyles a professional troll? As tensions continue to escalate between Lyles and athletes across the NBA and NFL, we learn about Ethan Bonner and Ethan Black who are white and not black and also run track. Then, Caleb Williams says hello to the NFL, and Patrick Mahomes may win the ESPY from a preseason play. Is it possible that Mahomes' next 6 years will be better than his last 6 years? Dan believes it may just be the case, but Billy says not-so-fast. Plus, Roy Wood Jr. is here. He chats with the crew about Nicholas Cage playing John Madden, why the Chiefs are a boring dynasty, Hawk Tua girl throwing out the first pitch at the Mets game, and the Chicago White Sox misery. He also issues his semi-sure bet of the week! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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your headset on and everyone's trying to keep you alert. He's done because he promoted his podcast. It's all he cares about. It's the only reason he's here. And this is where we start to lose Greg Cody. He loses stamina right about now. Stamina. Still trying to figure out who won that. Cliff Anger. I got the stamina of a 20 year old. No, you don't. Show me a 20 year old. Yeah. A 20 year old Ottoman.

I'll outstamma him, stamina him. There you go. He's right. What does signify stamina? Is that a foot race? Is that a strength thing? Hmm. You know, how do we associate that? Noah Lyles is a professional troll, correct? Yeah. He's picking a fight. That's what he's looking for he's looking for a social media fight and succeeding in getting one why would no all miles a gold medal winner care what i really kill is saying

you know it's ridiculous that's not even the one i was mentioning okay so he goes all which and in sharp and renders all his n nba opinions totally irrelevant when he tells shannon chart yokich never heard of it so when he says not a world champion of the uh... nb a steam and i understand this it's a silly argument we can argue whether uh... america's champion deserves to be champion of the world without having beaten the world but no all i'll set up the nba they're not world champions but

he doesn't know the players. So he's just doing that to bother people. Now he tells Tyreek Hill, you really want to race? Let's go. I'm at a track near you. And what is Tyreek's answer? 50 yards. Not the thing that you're best in the world at, 50 yards.

I want to do, I want to change the distance because I don't want to do it the same, the same thing that you're the world champion. The thing where I have a chance to beat you, I think. And Josh Hart is saying on his podcast with Jalen Brunson, he was saying, I really wanted him to lose in the Olympics. Were there a lot of Americans doing that? Because the sprinter's stugat is sort of the caricature cartoon of the wide receiver diva right whatever it is that i read hill is is a personality

no all i'll see is that because fastest man in the world tends to imbue you with a certain arrogance and peacocking that the average person doesn't walk around their daily life with the world's fastest man should be able to outrun Tyree kill for fifty yards he should accept that challenge and if he doesn't it means he's running from Tyree kill he says the man dodges smoke that's what he says of Tyree kill because Tyree kill never actually does any of these races mind I fear the Dolphins you probably don't want to do of course not Yeah, don't want you to pop a muscle. Racing Noah Liles is an awful course.

Well, but D.K., Madcalf also says he's faster than Tyreek Hill and we're never gonna see them race. And Jalen Waddell says he's faster than Tyreek Hill and we're never gonna see them race. The only way to do this is really with player tracking when they run a nine route. They raced the Pro Bowl, I think, this past year or the year before.

And who won? I'll get back to you. It is alleged that the Dolphins have a white cornerback who's faster than any of them what is his name Bronner Ethan Bonner mm-hmm that does sound white that can't possibly be true that Ethan Bonner is faster than both Tyreek Hill and no hell has said it Waddle has said it most areostert has said it, they all say he's the fastest on the team, I mean.

Is there a black Ethan? Oh no, man. There has to be. Put it on the poll, Juju, is there a black Ethan? Wait, let's Google it before we poll it. I feel like the internet can, just see if you can find ah. A black famous Ethan?

All right, so the race was Tyreek Hill, Nick Chubb, Micah Parsons, and Trayvon Diggs. We're showing the video audience Ethan Bonner right now that's it yeah but that is not the people is white those are not any of the pieces Tyreek won that race correct there's an Ethan black I believe he's white though so black is white there is I found the same guy Ethan black he looks like some sort of track athlete Ethan black he's white's white. Okay, so you're telling me Black is white, just to be clear. Yeah, because he's Ethan.

There's a guy with an IMDB who seems to be black whose name is Ethan Hazard. He does seem to be black. Huh. Huh. But Black is white? No, this Ethan. Black is white.

Black is white. Hazard is black. Yeah. And the fastest guy in track is white? Ethan Black runs track, he's white. The fastest guy in track is black. What? He's white.

No. No. Noah Lyles. Black. Black. But this guy is better. This guy, this white black guy is better. No, no, he didn't say he was better. No, he was just saying he exists. Oh, he just exists.

Yeah, the last name is just black. It wasn't ever presented through the prism of this guy's better than Noah Lyles. I think it wouldn't be the first time you heard the name Ethan Black, who is white. Who's on first? Ethan Black, a wide receiver for Penn State also. Same Ethan Black, the white guy who ran track. Yeah, it's the same dude. Same guy.

Wow. Why does Tyree Kill think that he would be faster than Noah Lyles? Well, he's pretty fast. I know, I know, I know. At 50 yards though, dude. I know. It looks like Micah Parsons won this race. But Tyreek seems to have done that thing where he got off to a bad start and then he like

didn't try. Yeah, I don't think there is a world in which Micah Parsons is faster than Tyreek Hill. Unless the race is, you know, two and a half yards. Look at this, look at this. The fastest man in the world, check this out. For those of you who are listening on the podcast, Mike's looking at and a half yards. Look at this, look at this. Fastest man in Mike, check this out. For those of you who are listening on the podcast, Mike's looking at my laptop. I am looking at the laptop.

Oh, Tyreek's not. Oh, he just let up. He let up. Is anyone here willing to co-sign what Josh Hart said, which is I really wanted him to lose of Noah Lyles? Anyone in here willing to co-sign that? Were any of you so put off by- All NBA fans that were passionate NBA fans, like Amin gave voice to this in his shows

with us, they seemed to be in lockstep because of how Noah Lyles started this whole feud by diminishing the achievements of an NBA world champion. And Noah Lyles has gone on the record and said, I don't know who Jokic is. So NBA fans were really reveling in his embarrassment. Well, let's enjoy some preseason football here Stugats, because I know Caleb Williams didn't complete all of his passes. I'm not even sure he completed half of his passes, but he had a couple of the plays that got people excited because Chicago really is here after their best quarterback ever is either Jay Cutler or Sid Luckman. They are all in on the idea that they have their quarterback for the next five years. They've got value at quarterback. They've got someone they think can play right away who's on a

rookie deal and therefore they've got him a lot of skill position help and they somehow are built to win right now. The Chicago Bears are let's look at a couple of these plays involving Kayla Williams to God and him moving around in the pocket and arm strength. Yeah. I love a flick. Yeah. That's a good flick right there. I was loving that play so much. And then I saw on Twitter that Bryce young last year for the Panthers regular season, the exact same play. And I'm like, hmm, I guess it doesn't mean that much. It doesn't mean much of anything at all. I saw John Kitna one time go 11 for 11 in a preseason game

and thought that team was going to make the playoffs, and they went 0 and 16. They had some injuries. They had a lot of injuries. Orlovsky ran through the back of the end zone for that team. Here's another Caleb Williams play, Stu Gotz. Well, he's clearly got the pocket presence there. That's something that's not up for dispute. And so he's moving around in the pocket the way you would want him to. And then he just sort of runs into the end

zone. That is stuff he was doing at USC to see it translate to the NFL, to the professional level. To the preseason. I know. Did you see Mahomes actually pulled off a behind the back pass in the game? Yeah, enough. I mean, seriously, we're making a big deal. It was an eight yard gain.

I mean, please. Do it in a real game. Right? Do it in the Super Bowl, big spot. You can do that when you're Patrick Mahomes. You've won three Super Bowls. You can just do that in a nonsense game, right? You just play around.

It's the preseason. In watching some of the preseason, my main takeaway, just looking at Caleb Williams and just trying to analyze whether or not Tua got new teeth. When do they stop this thing? It is awful. Preseason football is terrible. And I used to be like an advocate for preseason football because as like a Browns fan, I really liked the opportunity to evaluate my guys

because this was my only access to evaluate them. They do these scrimmages, televised those. This is dumb. Are they still charging their season ticket holders full price for this stuff? It's a bad TV product. What is the appeal for this stuff? You just said it though.

They're still charging full price. It's just an easy oil well that springs up because we're suckers and we're desperate in August for anything. Can you win an ESPY in a preseason game? Like play of the year? It would just be funny if like the play of thePY in a preseason game? Like play of the year? It would just be funny if like the play of the year happened in a preseason game.

Put it on the poll, Jujuat Lebatard show. Can you win an ESPY for something that happened in a preseason game? It went like three yards. Everyone can throw a ball behind him. I mean, back three yards. We'd never seen it before though. Like, yeah, I hear you.

But we've never seen a quarterback do that in a, I know it's preseason. we've never seen a quarterback do that in a I know it's preseason. We've never seen a quarterback do that while another team is trying to kill him. Summer's the best time to run the way you want. Dial it up with new challenges and programs and bring your workouts with you to make the most of outside sunny days. There's no better way to do that than with Peloton. With Peloton take advantage of how beautiful it is outside right days. There's no better way to do that than with Peloton. With Peloton, take advantage of how beautiful it is outside right now. You can go on an outdoor run or even a walk

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it's a good call. Thank you. And plus it doesn't matter who's hitting it like you're not tailing it to a particular name. You know all that jazz you know you don't gotta do that. That would be a great call. That kind of swing, that kind of thing. This is the Don LeVatar Show with the Stugats. The Tridon Lebathear Show with the Stugats. This space that he occupies is unusual, Stugats, because I've told you before, he comes up through the era. I saw a great documentary I enjoyed last night. It was executive produced by Monica Lewinsky, about 15 minutes of shame just the shaming of people in a moment how

it lacks some nuance and what the social media generation has wrought I didn't realize that Lewinsky was sort of ground zero for some of that stuff he's coming up through an age where the easiest things are to be cruel anonymously cruel and everything out there exists to make jokes at the expense of. Largely the internet is not a place that celebrates. The language around Patrick Mahomes, because I've told you Stu Gottz, the way coverage is these days, it's blame criticism, blame criticism. That's who's getting paid, who's on television blaming and criticizing.

So Tom Brady comes up through this time in social media and will not be allowed to be as great as Michael Jordan because he existed before this time we had this kind of access the way that we talk about my homes the breathless way that we talk about him is objected to at every turn because of how breathless it is even though what we're watching doesn't really have a precedent as i didn't think was going to happen this quickly in my lifetime where I'd stop having the argument about whether I think Aaron Rodgers is more physically gifted than Tom Brady and someone comes in here and I'm like up yep better than both of them better than both of them

even if you take away his number one wide receiver and the offense looks totally impotent he's going to win a Super Bowl essentially it's going to feel like on an offense that he's on by himself. You might be right he may be better than both of them but it is funny that Brady's the only one to beat him in a Super Bowl I mean at an advanced age the only guy to take my homes down. But the way that we talk about him for the next few years is going to be interested because people object to when it is you're too breathless about people it's one of the reasons LeBron's not going to be allowed to be Michael's,

do you guys? We've been 15 years breathing on him on, yeah, you're great, but are you as great as the greatest who've ever been great? Are you that great? And Mahomes like, I think we'd all be willing to concede because of the start. Nobody gets to start that way. No one comes out of the box and just starts winning right away when you're still watching. You're like, is he even in his prime yet? Like, have we arrived at the

Patrick Mahomes prime. I mean Brady did it. He did win. He won early. Yeah, but some people don't get Brady credit for winning that Super Bowl. He threw one touchdown past that entire postseason run. He's not the reason they won that first Super Bowl. No, I understand that but you're saying not many people do that. I'm just pointing out that Brady actually did it. Now you could say it was more to do with the team than it was with Tom Brady. I'm talking about the number. I'm talking about everyone gave that one to Belichick because it was the greatest upset in the history of the Super Bowl.

The Patriots beat the Rams and nobody thought it was because of Brady. I will say this though with Mahomes, he does have a chance to do something by winning three straight Super Bowls that no one has ever done, including Tom Brady. And that's gonna be interesting to see what the conversation is if Patrick Mahomes is able to do that,

to win three consecutive Super Bowls. This is what I'm asking both of you, okay? We're going to play this to an interview for you at the end of the show today. And we've been talking for a couple of weeks. Well, that's an architectural problem. The Miami Dolphins, when they had the cheaper quarterback than Mahomes, couldn't win in that window against Mahomes.

Now their quarterback is more expensive than Mahomes, and Mahomes, I'm asking the group, have we arrived at his prime yet? Yes or no? I would, I would He's tough Because most quarterbacks You would say that about And then you have the outlier of Tom Brady And so when we see somebody all time great The mind already goes like

Well Tom Brady did it and he beat you in a Super Bowl When he was that age so we just anticipate You being that way Who's the same, Holmes takes care of his body the same way It's difficult But at any point in history outside of Tom Brady this would be considered his prime. He's 28. Has the prime shifted? Because prime used to be like 27 to 32 and now I feel like with quarterbacks it could be 32 to 37. I can't imagine he can be much better than he was in the postseason last year when in the Super Bowl

With that receiver help. He's definitely in his in his prime and in football when you win Super Bowls You automatically get called great Terry Bradshaw had a pretty ordinary career If you look at his numbers one four and he won four and that's why he's in the Hall of Fame And that's why we still think him as great even though he wasn't that great look at his numbers one four in he won four and that's why he's in the hall of fame and that's why we still think it was great even though he wasn't that great look at his numbers ma homes to a row and now going for three in a row that's immortal so i want to stop

you though when you say and use you just say boys twenty eight that must be his prime are you arguing he's done improving i think he can be this good for another five are you are doing that he's done improving i think he can be this good for another five are you arguing that he's done improving to the argument i was going to make about not to what and that offensives now you've been in the andy reid system with consistency forever your tight end can't hold up that way anymore your tight end is no longer in his prime even though the results the numbers suggest that he still in his prime because he said these four crazy years that put you in the Gronk classification when no one belongs in the

Gronk classification. Yeah, I think he set a postseason record for receiving yards at that position. I think he did. I think Mahomes is only getting smarter and I don't think his physical traits have worn at the age of 28 either. So I imagine, yeah, coming just hours removed from him attempting and successfully attempting a behind the back pass in an NFL game, which was the right play, by the way. For that to be completion, it was the only way he was going to do it. I don't think he's done improving. A smarter player is a great

way of phrasing it, Mike, because if there's a criticism of Mahomes' game, it's the turnovers. He had 14 interceptions last year, so smarter. But that's just his offense. Yeah, but two seasons was so much more limited. But I expect those to go down as he gets older. I do. Two seasons ago, as that offense was adjusting to life without Tyreek Hill, teams were daring him to go deep and they realized that this dude is a prideful quarterback. He is not going to go underneath if we keep giving him that. He corrected it in the season and then you could see some moments in the AFC championship game against Cincinnati where he reverted to some of the poor traits that he had throughout

that season. I do think he's getting smarter. The physical part of it, because the feet problem is something that I would keep an eye on. I think the style of play that he plays is a little more physical than the average quarterback. He is a little more gunslinger or reckless than just about anybody in the league with a confidence that doesn't wane.

But I would- And I wanna be fair to him too. Like I'm saying this as someone that's wearing nipple stickers, Dan. Like he's not taking care of his body in ways like he does get body shamed. Like he's not taking care of his body in ways Like he does get body shamed like he's not taking care of his body yet in ways that stick out But this is the reason that I'm objecting to any of you putting limits on what is his prime I expect his next eight years to be better than his first eight years

I mean, he's only played six full seasons in the NFL. He's won three super I expect his next six years to be better than his Last six years and the only thing that gets in the way is his body. Well, I shouldn't say the only thing. He's not going to have a weapon like Kelsey. The construction around him also matters. I don't think it matters though. It does matter having the greatest tight end ever. Andy Reid might matter. They lost Tariq Hill. He's fine. Well, but they weren't fine. Stugatz, do I need to remind you the things you were saying before last postseason because every there's something off in Kansas every round of the postseason I'm aware you doubted that team We did all say those things every they have one back-to-back Super Bowls during us saying all those things

How do none of your words matter? How do you not remember any of the I don't know, I mean. How do you not remember any of the things that you've previously said in any of the places that you've said them? Statistically, he did have a down year last year. He did. He won the Super Bowl.

I said winning yesterday. I wouldn't come off of last year and say, I guarantee his next six will be better based off of last year. From hour to hour, Dan, you gotta keep up. All right, Chris, get for me some of Stugatz's more famous takes because we have both of them there. We have last year's Kansas City stuff because we have both of them there.

We have last year's Kansas City stuff and we have what is one of the greatest takes in the history of this show when he chastised Andy Reid for benching Alex Smith in favor of the greatest quarterback to ever play the game, who's won three Super Bowls as we argue whether his next six years are going to be better than his last six years. So should we do something we've never done in show history? Should Stu gots be forbidden from talking about the Kansas city chiefs that you can't, there have to be some green with you. There have to be some consequences to you being so spectacularly wrong that it

renders all your future chiefs opinions invalid. The consequences are you get to play it back in my face forever. I mean... But you've got to remember that you've had these takes before because you're sitting here saying no one's going to beat him when you spend every playoff round last year saying he was going to be beaten. You looked at one of the cameras, you waved your sausage fingers at it and you said, I want the smoke.

I'm here to be the first to tell you that Kansas City is not to be feared as postseason and they were holding up the trophy again this while you sit across from this Homer who thinks he's still right saying that the Dolphins are gonna win the Super Bowl last year even though they haven't won a playoff game in two years. You just said a take that I would dispute for you to say that you think Mahomes is next six or eight years are gonna be better than his first six I think is almost looted has to win for super bowls yeah it's just not gonna have not doing it by super bowl we are doing how much is he improving as a quarterback and do it anyway of doing it the rest of the world

is doing it by sarah rogers one one super bowl and i was arguing that he was more physically gifted than tom brady throughout that i was arguing erin rogers the best i've ever seen play the position but last year he had fewer yards fewer touchdowns more interceptions in a lower q br days ever had so and i don't know what based on last year would say that the next six are gonna be better and and by the way erin rogers is going to be viewed as a career underachiever and overrated because he's only alright but super bowls aren't the only measurement i just want to know the bottom i want to get this record from you uh... billy please and overrated because he's only one. All right, but Super Bowls aren't the only measurement. I just wanna get to one.

They're only the bottom line. I wanna get this record from you, Billy, please. I wanna get this on the record. You're just officially saying, because you haven't taken a position, Mahomes passed his prime. No, I did not say that. I'm just saying based on last year,

I don't know how you could say his next six years would be better, and then they said, were you gonna base it on Super Bowls? You said no, but based on the stats, we're just trying to figure out what you're basing this take on. 28 to 34, what a quarterback becomes ages 28 to 34 in the history of the league, every quarterback who's ever played the position

before they die out in their late 30s. That's what I'm basing it on. Except for Tom Brady. Except for Tom Brady. Where and how quarterbacks age, this is the prime. 28 to 34 is the prime It's not 20 to 26. Like it's just not I mean But other quarterbacks also don't have the weapons that he had to start his career, right?

Like you then start the quarterback starts figuring it out and then you build the team around him where he had the superstar team Right at the beginning gave up has it right now You can say matter of factly He know there hasn't been another wide receiver in the history of the game like Tyreek Hill and you can can say matter of factly, there hasn't been another wide receiver in the history of the game like Tyreek Hill. And you can say almost matter of factly, maybe Gronk in his prime, he was probably a better blocker than Kelsey,

but there hasn't been another weapon at tight end like Travis Kelsey. So he's had like two all time unicorns at their position. I think it's safe to assume that that's not the most easy thing to replicate. Well, I mean, just because of how the salary cabin stuff works, too, you could probably make the argument he's never going to play on a better team

than he's already been on. That's a good argument. And he's also got a great coach who's not going to be around forever, maybe another couple of years. It's not to say that he's not going to be good. He's just going to have different pieces to work with in a coach and teammates. It's the only hope that he's not gonna be good. He's just gonna have different pieces to work with in a coach and teammates It's the only hope you have as a league is to articulate what it is that Billy is saying that he's gonna get hurt somewhere

Along the path and he's gonna be not the obstacle to everyone in the sport the same way that Brady and the Patriots were and that Someone challenges him like CJ Stroud somebody CJ Stroud's an interesting one It's just I we haven't really encountered a dynasty like this and there are some things working against them like with the Taylor Swift overexposure thing. But typically we get tired and they're villains by now. Kansas City hasn't become a villainous dynasty that everyone hates yet. I'm sure they have the rivals. They tried to make themselves villains at the last Super Bowl and it just wasn't really

sticking. They wanted to be the bad guys and like at media night they were acting as though they were villains and they weren't really because everybody was rooting for them and they had probably a bigger fan base than the 49ers in part because of Taylor Swift. But they're not villains yet. If they become villains because they keep winning, I don't think that's bad for football. I think it's good for football because then you always have that one thing that you're looking at like,

are these going to be the people that take down the Chiefs? The same way everyone was rooting against the Patriots. I'm not arguing it's going to be bad. I'm just arguing like it's usually, it's usually happened by now. And people generally like this dynasty more than other ones that prevent your teams from winning. They're likable though.

I mean, I think dynasties are good for sports. I also think the end of dynasties are good for sports. The Premier League just started Man City being favored for a fifth straight championship. I don't think is necessarily good I think if Arsenal wins is better for that league I think if somebody challenges and dethrones the Chiefs that's better for that league I just think it's a win-win for sports

You love the dynasty the super team and you love it when the new era starts the Kelsey point is not an irrelevant one though because it is a cheat code it is something that they've had to extend to drives on third down that is automatic even if it's you know 11 seconds left against Buffalo or 13 seconds left against Buffalo it's always open as and and if you look back at what Brady's number were without Gronk, you will see a difference than what they were with Gronk. And basically what Mahomes had is he had Tyree Kill

and Kelsey, which is what Brady had when he had Randy Moss and the proliferation of those titans. We're doing it the wrong way. What those guys got was Patrick Mahomes. That's what happened. They got Patrick Mahomes. Andy Reid was a career loser, couldn't win the wrong way. What those guys got was Patrick Mahomes. That's what happened. They got Patrick Mahomes Andy Reid was a career loser could win the big game Travis Kelsey did win anything Anything until Mahomes got there

Travis Kelsey was arguably the best tight end in the league when Patrick Mahomes wasn't his quarterback and Tyree Kill just got named The best player in the NFL by his peers. I peers not playing now for quite a while without Patrick Mahomes. Those are unique special talents. But we're saying how lucky Patrick was to land in that spot and he was, but they were also lucky to get Patrick. That's all I'm saying. All of your opinions are invalid because of this previous take. Stugat's forever forbidden from any more Chiefs takes because this is the worst one ever given.

Go ahead Andy Reid, I dare you to go 14-2 and allow Alex Smith to leave Arrowhead Stadium to leave Kansas City. Go ahead, I dare you. Because of Patrick Mahomes. Because you think you can turn Patrick Mahomes into something that Alex Smith is not. Alex Smith is a very good quarterback. The audacity. First off, to do this to Alex Smith, who's been very is a very good quarterback. The audacity. First off, to do

this to Alex Smith, who's been very good and loyal to Andy Reid and won him a lot of football games, to dangle Patrick Mahomes out there because Andy Reid thinks he's some sort of quarterback whisperer, which he is not. When you're hiring for your small business, you want to find quality professionals that are right for the role. That's why you have to check out LinkedIn Jobs. LinkedIn Jobs has the tools to help find the right professionals for your team, faster and for free. As Metal Art Media continues to grow as a content studio, we strive to hire only the best and most qualified candidates.

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On LinkedIn, 86% of small businesses get a qualified candidate within 24 hours. Hire professionals like a professional on LinkedIn. Post your job for free at LinkedIn.com slash prep. That's LinkedIn.com slash prep. Post your job for free. Terms and conditions apply. Don LeBretard. Surely, every time you're watching this, you recognize that your wife is laughing that

she married Larry David. Yeah, I do, yeah. One of the great characters in the history of television, in my humble opinion. And to my credit, my personality – In my humble opinion, followed by to my credit. It's amazing. It's just amazing. To my credit, my personality does predate Curb Your Enthusiasm. Stugats! Oh, wow. I'm not going Oh wow Larry David okay All right, put it on the pole, please Jude you did Greg Cody copyright being an asshole long before Larry David

This is the done libertar show with the Stu gots Roywood jr. Is gonna join us here momentarily. Stugatz, you should have heard Stugatz and Greg Cody conspiring during the break. Greg Cody offering up, and Stugatz is very good at this as well, just naming podcasts. So Greg Cody offered that if he were Roy Wood Jr., what he would end up doing is doing a show early on in the day and just calling it Morning Wood. Yeah, great idea. That is his idea to-

Sure, he's never heard that one. He's never heard that before. It's a great idea. I don't know if it's a great idea. You're welcome. It's an idea. Your last name is Wood. You do a podcast in the morning called Morning Wood.

Yeah, that's it. How is that not a good idea? Okay, well we'll ask him in a second. He is blowing up as he has been for years he's been tapped to host have i got news for you it's uh... cnn's adaptation of a comedy panel show that uh... they've done in the u k for a while before we get to that though if you want comedy here's a close-up look at stew gots is hot take face as he tells you before it last year's

postseason why is that he did not fear the eventual super bowl champion kansas city chiefs everyone back often give him a lot of room here because this is a master craft this is a work of the highest order he's a sculptor everyone out of the way dennis time of year everyone talks about teams they don't want to see come playoff time i want to talk about a team that i actually want to see come playoff time. I want to talk about a team that I actually want to see come playoff time. I want to see the Chiefs. I want Patrick Mahomes strolling

into my stadium with max confidence. I want Travis Kelce. I want Taylor Swift. I want the team that lost to Jordan Love. I want the team that lost to Aiden O'Connell. I want the team that trailed 17-0 to Jake Browning. That is the team that I would like to face in the playoffs. That's the team indeed that I would want to face in the playoffs because that team is not very good. I have been saying for years there was something off in Kansas City. Last year that take didn't go so well for me. They won the Super Bowl this year. It's going very,

very well. They are ten and six. They're down. The offense is not what it used to be. The defense doesn't travel well. They're good at home, not great on the road. I want if I'm a playoff team, I don't want Flacco. I don't want Mike

Tomlin. I don't want any of those teams. The teams that I want strolling into my stadium Kansas City Chiefs shocking Just simply serious. I know we we all saw that you were being serious. I mean something's off there You have said this And you've now said it publicly You got saying for two years that there's something off in Kansas City while they win both titles is just magical. Eventually I'll get it right. I mean, something's off in Kansas City. Are you sure? Are you sure? They strolled into Buffalo, they strolled into Baltimore with that defense, the second youngest in the league, and they did fine.

They strolled into everywhere. Yes, they did. The Democratic convention is this week, and Roy Wood Jr., he's got shows this week in New York, Rhode Island and Virginia is off to Jersey, Kentucky, Tennessee Ohio and more you can get your tickets Roy Wood jr. Dot-com Let's start here because I I know they talked about it some on Friday, but Nicolas Cage This seems like a weird unless he's gonna wear prosthetic fat suit I don't know how he's gonna play John Madden, but let's get to Frank Caliendo here. 17 years before Roy hosted the White House Correspondents Dinner, Frank Caliendo did John Madden

in 2006, let's listen to that sound. I love John Madden because he makes me feel smart. He tells you things you already know, he doesn't give you any new information, just sits there with the NFL Scoot-A circles on guys' body parts. John Mann will say things like, if the quarterback, if he throws the ball at the receiver, if he catches it in the end zone, that's going to bow wow wow yippie yo yippie yay. That's going to be a touchdown.

I don't understand this one Roy, welcome to the show, but I don't see Nicolas Cage as John Madden, do you? With respect to Nicolas Cage and his catalog, I don't see it either. You cannot nail that voice any better than my man Frank Caliendo, who mind you, worked on that voice for well over a decade and a half. I'm not saying Nicolas Cage can't act.

I'm not saying he can't pull a Brendan Fraser prosthetic chub suit, whatever that, I don't remember the movie. You remember the movie, Brendan Fraser? Where he was like, yeah. The whale, yes, 600 pounds. Yeah, we don't even need to go 600 though. To be maddened, what do you need, 330?

He's a husky, dude. Yeah, you gotta be thicker than Nicolas Cage is, I think. Yeah, I guess so. I don't like it, but then, you know, I also thought that Christian Bale wouldn't be a good Batman, and I was proven wrong, so maybe I'll just shut up. I have a loose question before we get into everything else,

just off of Stu Gutz. Is it me, and I say this with respect, is it me or the Kansas City Chiefs, one of the most boring dynasties? Like, think about the documentary of everything we've seen. What would be the part of the documentary, go, oh, I can't wait to see that part. Right. No, you're 100% right. It is the most boring dynasty in the history of sports and the history of dynasties. I'm afraid it's coming to an end because something is off this year Roy Here we go again. I don't think there's anything off. I just think Kansas City as a town they close at 9 p.m

So you can't get into the same cocaine fueled debauchery that you could in New York or Plaxico Blurt Bursts shoot yourself in. Like, you can't get into the Miami drama, but it's like, I like to see teams dominate, but I kinda, you know, we need a couple of arrests. Somebody gotta go to jail this year so they can rally around them, right? I mean, I think they've had some of that, right? They've had the coach's son as an assistant coach.

That's not a player. That's not a player. That's not a player. It's close, but you can sweep that. You can you can go a little bit of Tyreek Hill if you want if you want to find a little bit of drama but then they got him out of there. That was pre-dynasty to be honest. So you need arrests. Taylor Swift isn't interesting enough to you. The best quarterback isn't interesting. No you need arrests. If Kelsey cheated on Taylor

Swift with a Chiefs cheerleader I think that's enough juice to get the chiefs back and that proper driver seat a good you got a good 12 and 5 squad Right there rallying around that tight end. I mean he's right then they went into Baltimore last year. They want 17 to 10 boring This is what you guys are doing is if the Patriots so we need spy scandals. We need deflated footballs. This is what we need So we need spy scandals, we need deflated footballs, this is what we need. What about Rashi Rice? Rashi Rice, Drag Race. He's been arrested enough for everybody. There you go.

Needs to be Kelsey or Mahomes, I think. Okay, so now it needs to be a star that gets arrested. Yes, the documentary, you want to see Rashi Rice, is that who you want? You want him sitting down in the chair? That's all we got. All right, so Roy is not only an expert on the White House Correspondents Dinner, he's also an expert at throwing out the first pitch.

So I'm curious what your thoughts here are. The Mets had the Hawk To A Girl do the honors on the first pitch, they had the grimace thing. Are you somebody who is pro-overt pandering here to the cultural phenomenons of the moment? No, you have to get people that people like. I just didn't know that the Mets would be the ones to get the Hawk Toa girl the way the White Sox suck.

I figured Hawk Toa would. Oh wow, okay, there you go. Yes, that would be. With respect to White Sox fans, I don't want any drama from you. Okay. I don't know, I'm trying to say this respectful because I don't want to get you a terms and conditions

strike on all your streaming channels. I've never seen more, I've never seen one person get more exposure from pretending to be good at oral sex and we've like never seen any, like imagine a porn star who's porn you never saw. Do you understand how amazing of a magic trick? Parents fees all over the place. They're hiring her get your money ma'am get your money

But this is an amazing grift in this country that you can be famous for Here's how I would do it, but I don't it's, it's like being famous off a sex tape but no sex tape. It is what it's like. Now we're doing Morning Wood. Now we are doing Morning Wood, we are doing. How do you feel about the show idea Morning Wood, Roy, where you come on in the morning? I pitched it when I was on in Birmingham.

It was rejected unequivocally across the board I pitched it again when I did mornings in Atlanta same game. Hmm We'll take it as a Cubs fan You must enjoy that the White Sox are this kind of bad and resorting to first pitches with the Hawk to a girl I don't I don't you can't root for that type of pain You can't root for that type of pain. You can't. You can't root for a team to lose 20 games in a row. You want competitive losers.

You want a nice tight division where from top to bottom, from first to last, it's like an eight game separation. That's the kind of pain you want. Nobody wants to get called up from AAA to just lose and lose and lose and lose. It's just, it's unfortunate. It really is. I I kind of want to see a little more losing but it's still unfortunate. Now that's the documentary you want to see. It's 20 days in Southside and just just the misery of that. They're 30 and 95. They're on pace to break the all-time record of the 62 Mets,

viewed as the worst team in the history of baseball. They won 42 times. The White Sox are actually on pace to be the worst ever. I don't know if they'll break the Mets record, and oddly enough, I still think the Mets will still be seen as the worst team, just because Mets and the reputation of it all and the Sox actually had, let's not forget, we're talking about a team that has a World Series title in this millennium, so let's be respectful. They know how to win.

I hope they figure it out and get it back, but I don't know, man, because I think that when you root for a team to lose and they just keep losing and keep losing and keep losing, that's just a depression and you don't want that in the clubhouse, right? Like what do you do as the GM? You can't trade everybody. Clearly it wasn't Tim Anderson's fault. He's been vindicated. I think he'd get fired. I mean I don't know. Has he got DF8? Yeah. But he got out of there. He came to the Marlins and he was

terrible. And they traded traded everybody you can trade everybody We've done it multiple times this is this your semi sure bet of the week I don't know how it's been doing but does do we have a semi sure bet of the way Let's not bring up the past and let's not bring up passing sure bets I Feel that a lot of your viewers have way too much confidence in me. But yeah, we're going to tie it in to the DNC this week. You guaranteed see me sure bet.

Here's the breakdown, Dan. Dating back 40 years, anytime a president gives a speech at the Democratic National Convention, the White Sox win a game the next day. If the speech is under 25 minutes. You follow me so far. Yeah. A non-incumbent president who gives a speech at the DNC the White Sox win the next day if the speech is under 25 minutes. This week in Chicago you got Biden on Monday, you got Obama on Tuesday, you got Clinton on Wednesday. If all three

of them speak for less than 25 minutes apiece Chicago White Sox three game winning streak guaranteed semi sure better to wait brought you by draft Kings Yes, everything you own on my words right now. Don't do that. Don't it's a semi sure Draw your children from college and take the Entertainment segment have to stop doing this. Withdraw your children from college and take the tuition. This is an entertainment segment. This is not to be taken seriously. It's reckless. You can't do it that way.

We love your astute political commentary. Trump has made $300,000 off the Trump-branded Bible that he holds upside down for $60 apiece on his website. He's got supporters carrying around JD Vance branded sperm cups to make fun of people who can't conceive children. And he's also saying things like this. Because when Bobby Knight from Indiana endorses you, you win. Sort of like when I endorse you, you win too.

I don't know. Somehow would that be okay, North Carolina? I don't think so. They want me to speak all day Okay, Bobby night died ten months ago. That was Trump speaking in Pennsylvania not basketball country in North Carolina You ever have a favorite comedian and then you see him like later on in his career. You're like damn These are the same jokes that I used to love and

These are the same jokes that I used to love. And he hasn't written any new material at all. Why is he still talking about Obama? He's not the president. Like that part of it. What did he say also? I look better than Kamala Washi on the cover of Time Magazine. What planet are we on?

Can I have some policy points, please? It is amazing, Roy. I was not expecting that they would be this unprepared for a shift that would then all of a sudden make Trump look like the doddering out-of-touch old person. Like it's been startling to see that the Democratic Party did something that is clearly made for recycled Republican jokes because that is not another move. I think the biggest miss that we've all made as Americans in the midst of Trump mania over the last eight to 12 years is that we could have all been making money

off of weird merch. I could have made gold speakers and sold them under a dummy account, a fake cash app payment under an alias. Jizz cups, do you know, like when I saw people selling, smiling with the J, my brain immediately went into, okay, that is probably 25 cent per unit cost. If you order a metal rate of 10,000 per,

you can probably get that cost down to 20 cent per sale. Those are five dollars a pop at a show, and you could probably get a profit margin minus ship. And I start doing the math, and I'm like, I could have retired off of, like really? That's what y'all would buy? There's still time. Like I'm still thinking about some sort of, I don't know, stop the steel shirt or something.

I'm going to come up with something, man. Roy Wood Jr. is where you go if you want to buy the tickets. Congratulations on the new endeavor by the way When does it start and what should the people know because you? Hosting a comedy panel is kind of what I was hoping would end up being you hosting the Daily Show This this seems like a decent alternative though. Yeah, man the Brits have a show called have I got news for you It's been running 30 years over in England and it's news panel It's myself four guests and we break down and it's news panel, it's myself, four guests,

and we break down all of the weird stuff that happened this week. We're doing an American remake because that's what we do in America. We flip the brick stuff. Saturday, September 14th is the premiere at 9 p.m. Every Saturday, the entire fall, I'll be on CNN Saturday night cracking jokes

and being fun and silly. I will tell the people again, if you're in New York, Rhode Island, Virginia, Jersey, Kentucky, Tennessee, Ohio, this guy is putting out the freshest of things. RoywoodJr.com is where you go. Thank you, sir. Always a pleasure. Enjoy the week.

Done deal. All right, y'all. Greg Cody, you brought up something earlier today. You were talking about the pool noodle javelin challenge you were doing on The Greg Cody Show featuring Greg Cody. Yeah. fine. And you were talking about the fact that the noodle has to be straight to look through it through the eye hole. Something else that you were doing out here in the other room while eating bacon by the

shovel full. You were throwing it into your maw with your hands. Love bacon. You were saying that it was cooked properly, and Roy, you're the one around us who's actually a cook. He was alleging that bacon is not proper properly cooked if it is limp at all. That it has to be straight as a nail file. That it has to be cooked so fried and so crisp that it doesn't have any bend to it. Morning wood. Absolutely the best bacon is crispy bacon. Thank you. Yep. Thank you. The only nuance I would give to that is that bacon can stand straight like a nail file while also being chewy. If it's too crisp, it crunches, it disintegrates. I like it to have a little bit of chew in it while also being as straight as a nail file. I like the nail file analogy,

because a nail file is about the length of a good piece of bacon. I've never agreed with my dad more. I like every single thing he said. I like the risk of like a shard cutting me open from the inside as I swallow it. So you like it super crisp. Oh yeah, oh yeah.

Okay, crunchy, you like crunchy bacon. I usually get my pick of the litter when bacon's made, because people don't like it, and I'll go and I'll get the darkest burntest crispy. Yeah Whatever bacon there. Yeah, the opposite is inedible. I was at an unnamed breakfast restaurant just Yesterday and no Saturday and the bacon was so undercooked. It was inedible I had to send it back that happened to me on a sandwich I spit out the sandwich you say I vowed to never order it again

And I've ordered it said send back your bacon. I did I did it was like rubber though, right? It was literally uncooked hmm. You know it was if I held that on the end it would you know like Just all rubber rubber band. It looked like this is about when he starts petering out. Yeah Rubber band, it looked like. This is about when he starts petering out. Yeah. Words become hard for him. Thank you very much. Chris Cody, if you doubt his bacon credentials,

check him out sitting on the middle of a sofa in the middle of the Tua interview. When you're hiring for your small business, you want to find quality professionals that are right for the role. That's why you have to check out LinkedIn Jobs. LinkedIn Jobs has the tools to help find the right professionals for your team, faster and for free.

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Hire professionals like a professional on LinkedIn. Post your job for free at LinkedIn.com slash prep. That's LinkedIn.com slash prep. Post your job for free. Terms and conditions apply. Hey folks, it's Mike Ryan and as you know, our show has changed a lot over the years. You guys knew me when I was 19 years old. I'm now a family man, 38 years old.

Man, I've been in this industry for a long time. Grateful to be a part of this show and grateful for one of our long time partners over in Miller Lite. It's the one thing that hasn't changed over the course of this 20 year run, the great taste of Miller Lite. Another thing that hasn't changed is that it's less filling.

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