The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz - Hour 1: Oddball Personal Finds Out

Episode Date: May 10, 2024

We have a hodgepodge of segments from some of your favorite Meadowlark Media shows. First, the Oddball crew of Amin Elhassan and Charlotte Wilder touch on Nikola Jokic winning the MVP before checking in with old Oddball co-host "Al" to make sure they cover all the trending topics in basketball. Then, we take a peek at this week's Share & Roast & Tell from Pablo Torre Finds Out with Pablo, Charlotte, and Sarah Spain chatting about their first pets. Plus, David Samson discusses Mat Ishbia and the Phoenix Suns after the firing of Frank Vogel on today's Nothing Personal. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

You're listening to Giraffe King's Network. This is the Don LeBattor Show with the StuGuts Podcast. Charlotte, they announced the MVP winner. It was, no surprise, Nikola Jokic got 79 first place votes. Coming in second was Shegil, just Alexander with 15 and 40 second place votes after that. In the end, it really wasn't close at all. As you see the voting break down there, Luca got four first place votes. Jan has got one first place vote, which. That's.

Come on guys. Okay. And then Jalen Brunson and Jason Tatum. What votes surprised you the most? I think it's more, I mean, what didn't surprise me. I feel like this was always gonna be Jokic's to take. I think because of what he did in the finals last year and how everyone who had been a naysayer during the regular season sort of had to be like, oh, sorry, we were wrong. I think, you

know, Shaq, when they announced it on Inside the NBA was like, Shea Gilder's Alexander, I thought he should have gotten it. And I kind of, I can't help but kind of agree with him in terms of what OKC did this year and how that does not happen without Shay. Obviously what the Nuggets did this year doesn't happen without Jokic, but OKC is the number one seed. I don't know. I feel like the MVP becomes a little revisionist each year. It's like what didn't we do last year? What do we have to get right now? And then how can we correct our mistakes? I mean, what surprised you in the voting to throw your question back at you? No, I mean, look, this is where my good friend Rachel Nichols beats this drum called,

we need two awards, the MVP of the year and the best player in the league. And I'm just like, Rachel, it's ridiculous. Just pick one. Just pick one. Trust me. I get it though. I get what you're saying. And there's an element of a delay there. It's like they're reacting the last year's playoff run. They're not really reacting. What happened this year? Having said that, if you took the on off the raw plus minus points scored when he was on the floor points,

they were outscored by when he was off the floor. Number one in the league by far was Nikola Jokic. So I don't know of any other greater indicator of that's the most valuable player. He also had the most Jokic reaction ever where he was just like, when they announced it, he was like, okay, yay. And I appreciate this man's consistency.

All right, we are back with a few more odds and ends here on our end. What do we have going on? What the hell was that sound? Hello again, Charlotte. Nice to meet you, Amin. Oh, no. I mean, oh boy, this is Al. He co-hosted with me a few days ago when you were out.

Al, what are you doing here? We don't need you. Since this segment of Oddball is also airing on the Dan LeBotard show, MetalArch Media wanted to ensure this segment is efficiently search engine optimized to contain a minimum of 3000 trending metadata tags. This seems really unnecessary.

Also, isn't Algorithm the bad guy from Space Jam 2? One moment please. According to all available data, no one gave a f*** about Space Jam 2. Wow. Al swears so much. I mean, I, oh my God, this is going to be wild. Okay, Al, what's the first topic? The USA Olympic basketball team is currently trending. LeBron James Steph Curry, Anthony Edwards, Kevin Durant, aunt, aunt, aunt. Sorry, my head exploded. USA must replace Kawhi Leonard. Even as a robot, I find Kawhi to be too robotic. Can we replace him and some other old with Jalen Brunson? Al, you're not supposed to have opinions, first of all. Okay, I mean, I guess we have to talk about this

because Al says it's good for social. It's funny to me, I mean, that a lot of these guys that Al mentioned are just not in the playoffs at all at this point. They're the old dudes right now. You can throw Tyrese Halliburton on the list of dudes that's about to be at these playoffs too. Could test a couple more calls.

Right, right, right. Build the whole plane out of Jalen Brunson. I was surprised Jalen Brunson. I was surprised Jalen Brunson wasn't on this to begin with. You know who else should be on team USA that isn't on that list right there, Charlotte? Derek White. Like, hey man, this dude clearly is the best player in the league. What are we doing keeping him off? Yeah, what are we doing?

Oh man, all right, I'll find the hiccup for us. Pat Riley said Jimmy Butler should keep his mouth shut unless he's on the court. Then Riley said he was hesitant to resign the frequently injured butler. Alternate search term, himmy buckets. I detect passive aggressive behavior. How would you react if you were Jimmy Butler? Alternate search term, himmothy chalamet. Oh god. Okay. There's nobody calls him himmothy chalamet. Well Al does. Let's start there. Al does. He's saying search results, where is he searching?

Yeah, I don't believe it for a second. His own porn stack. Here's what Pat Riley said, he said, if you're not on the court playing against Boston or in the court playing against the New York Knicks, you should keep your mouth shut on the criticism of those teams. Because Jimmy said that he would have

kicked their asses. And yes, Jimmy also said, yeah, Jimmy was also having some fun in Miami. Pat Riley also said it's a big decision on our part to commit those kinds of resources unless you have somebody who's going to be there and available every single night about Jimmy Butler. He also said something else. I mean, didn't he say like, we're not trading him though. Yeah. Like he made it clear that this does not make him available. Just there, you know, because Jimmy's Jimmy's looking for an extension. He's looking to add two more years onto his deal at the highest

maximum dollar value. And, you know, Pat Riley is making it know like, oh, hold on now. I'm not going to commit to this if you're like not available, which I mean, to be frank, that happened for a lot of the season and happened for the entire of the playoffs. I'm not saying Jimmy sat like he was hurt, but you know, I think part of this is Pat making like saber rattling and part of it. Why would we commit to someone who's getting to that stage of his career where availability is a question? Oddly enough, Charlotte, this press conference reminded me of the press conference Pat had 10 years ago when LeBron James was a free agent. And

he said, what was the thing that Pat said? He said, you want to get trending? Let's get trending. And I think like he just learned the word trending that day. And so he tried to incorporate it to the speech. And then in this speech about Jimmy Butler, he said, maybe Jimmy was trolling. He pronounced trolling in a very weird way that led me to believe he just learned that word on that day. I mean, Pat Riley is current. Like, look at us here trending with Al Gritam. Do you think this is anything that's been going on? Well, oh is Al back? He just pops up. Al, why do you look so weird? Why do you look like a camera lens of the basketball in it? Can we, I was able to upgrade your voice last time. Can we

upgrade what you look like? There is a visual upgrade available for a nominal fee. Would you like to accept this charge? This seems like a loaded question but sure why not. Wonderful. Eight hundred and fifty seven thousand dollars has been charged to the card on file labeled Amiens Amex. Oh it's your personal this time. What? Yeah totally worth it. Okay so if you're not watching this you should be because algorithm just put, he just put a bunch of eyes. Yeah, he put googly eyes on himself. For $800,000. Luckily, I do have the black card, so I'm worth it.

All right, what's the next story? True crime shows are incredibly popular. Domain to Subbonis is definitively not. Thusly I have scraped open source records and determined with 97.5% confidence who made the irrational choice and voted for him for MVP and Defensive Player of the Year. How should I respond? You know how you should respond? You should take the charges off my card and put it on that person's card. That's what you should do.

Yeah. Who did that? I mean, scumplink in. I don't know, but we'll find out. That's the the the beauty of of NBA award voting. There is no anonymity at the end of all of this. They're going to release the 100 voters and what they voted for on every single thing. You're going to be able to find who got voted for what, at what place, in what for what award and what all league team. Don't worry, we'll find this individual and we will smoke them out.

Here's the thing, though, I sort of really respect this because if you are the person, listen, if you're the person who voted for Demontes Sabonis and you're like a Portland Trailblazer, I mean Portland, and you're a Kings homer and you're like, yes, I'm willing to put my name on this, like that takes a little bit of chutzpah, I mean. No. Okay. No, it doesn't. All right. Al, what else do you have for us?

Television schedules indicate there are two NBA basketball games tonight. The Minnesota Timberwolves will face the Denver Nuggets and Indiana Pacers will face the New York Knickerbockers. Present a viral take about either game that is 60 seconds or less for oddball social media channels. This is the upgraded voice you tell me. Yeah, before it was like, I am a robot.

And then he was like, I'm going to be sexy. And I was like, oh, we don't need you to be sexy. This is a basketball show. You want a viral take? Here's a viral take. Jalen Brunson will play all but three minutes and Inoby will be back for a quarter and the Knicks will beat the Pacers at home again.

I mean at home for the first time, but they'll beat them again. All right. Uh, we kind of did this in another segment on another episode, but Denver bounces back storms back in game three, winds resoundingly. And then game four on Sunday, I'm giving you a little extra to on Sunday, they're going to tie this series up. It'll be tied two two going back to Denver and everyone will say what a wonderful series that was. Wow. Do you think, what do you think about my take?

I didn't even hear your take. I was thinking of mine the whole time. I just know you talked about the Knicks and Pacers. What was your take? Same. I don't remember what you said. So I asked you about mine. I said that the Knicks are going to win.

This is how the sausage gets made, folks. You think algorithm is something. We've got weird rhythms in our brains over here trying to figure out how to talk to each other while thinking about the next thing we're going to say. Pre-programmed, ladies and gentlemen, this is television at its finest where people are just waiting to talk. That's all we're doing too long The viewer is now watching this video. Oh

My god, is that just a cat playing basketball? That's not a cat playing. Oh No, it is physically not possible. The cat picked up the ball and then shot it upward. Run that back algorithm. Like there's, look at this. The cat cannot dribble a basketball. Yeah, but you know what's really popular on the internet is cat. So I sort of see where he's coming from. You know what, Al, thank you for coming back.

I still don't know why your upgrade costs so much though. Because according to your Instagram engagement, I am now your type. What? What does that mean? That's the creepiest thing. Someone on our production team had to write that. I just want-

I did it? Not to peel back the curtain too much. What are you talking about? No, this is, this is- What are you guys talking about? That's my type, googly eyes? Well, why did I get charged? Hold on.

If it turns high, why did she get charged? This is a mess. Thanks, Al. See you never. Stoogoutz here for my friends over at Simply Safe. When you travel, do concerns back home nag you? Did you lock up? Did you leave a window open? That's why I recommend investing in Simply Safe Home Security today for award-winning security and peace of mind wherever your

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real peace of mind. I want you to have it too. So right now, get 20% off any new SimpliSafe system with fast protect monitoring at simplisafe.com slash DLB. There's no safe like SimpliSafe. Don Lebatard. Again, started on the breakfast lawn. Oh man, I've been singing a song to myself all morning long.

Breakfast flan, da-da-da-da-da Stu Gatz! Have you never heard the breakfast flan song? No, hit me with it. Okay, I wish I had some breakfast flan Da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da Breakfast flan, da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da Where can I find a breakfast like that? Da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-dah-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-du Is it a thing kids eat? Pablo? I haven't, so... Oh, good transition to children. Nailed it.

This is a touchy topic. Violet doesn't eat fish sticks? Violet just got her first pet. Oh, and it's a fish. And it's a fish. Okay, so many questions. So, Violet, we're not feeding her fish sticks. Does she eat fish?

Yeah, but the fish sticks... Okay, so on the subject of fish sticks, um, my frustration is that they're not really sticks anymore. They're just like nugs. That's what I'm seeing. How have I never even thought before about kids having a pet fish and eating fish? Yeah, that was the first time I ever thought of it. Goldfish seem like a different species.

Like if we, we would be very aware of like if you had a pet dog and then you tried to feed your kid's dog, that they would be like, wait a minute, isn't this, you know, Ruffy, which was the first name of my dog that I named myself. So, truly what I wanted to get to here in my topic is our first pets and whether I'm doing it right. We're getting violated of a fish. This is her pet fish. So we got a tank.

Pineapple. We got a SpongeBob pineapple. Like an angel fish thing? This is a, it's pronounced apparently beta, B-E-T-T-A, but beta. But they're YouTube videos that call it beta. It's a beautiful fish, Pablo. I don't know how to pronounce it. It is a beautiful fish. I got real live aquatic plants. Those are real plants, except for the SpongeBob pineapple.

Everything else there is real. It's beautiful. Hate fake plants. And this is the fish that Violet picked out. The fish's name is Coop. Like cooped up? Coop? Like hanging with Mr. Cooper? Coop, as in she wanted to name it Poop.

And we were like, let's negotiate. And we settled on a coop. So that's Violet and that's a coop. That's the story of my life. That was my weekend. And it's a big step. A first pet. I didn't realize how big of a step it was until I was at Petco holding like a total cliche, all of the things you need to get a fish tank. Okay. Cleaner, gravel, substrate, real plants that are not fake, the fish itself, the air pump cleaning thing.

Fake plants are actually my least favorite thing. Fake plants are ass. I know you're very proud of your plants. And also just like fake plants don't do anything. Right. They are a depressing simulation of something that're very proud of your plants. And also just like fake plants don't do anything. Right. They are a depressing simulation of something that gives you none of the benefits. Do you like the fact that the real plants like give nutrients to the water and stuff? Absolutely.

You can watch them grow and oxygenate and feed Coop. If nothing else, the goodwill of the planet that we have destroyed and taken him from or her. I don't know if Koopa's... Okay, so what are you worried about in terms of whether you're doing this right? So we start with the fish and I just wonder, I've been warned that this is just one step... The gateway fish? The gateway pet. A gateway pet towards what I am not ready for, which is ultimately a dog as an apartment

dweller in Manhattan. But I was curious what you guys, what your gateway pets were and how you felt about them in retrospect. Oh man. Well, my mom has always loved animals and had dogs and cats. I think when my parents met, my dad was not a huge dog person and my mom had two huge dogs and then he quickly became a dog person and so I've just grown up. We always had a dog and we always had

a cat. And it wasn't, it was sort of more of a given for me than like a please can I have a pet. Now looking back I'm like wow my parents really like they were they were ready to take care of stuff. If they had because it's not a small thing to have a life and pets. And Sarah, you have dogs. You have to, you know, they require a lot. They require a lot. Yeah, I have three. One of them is a 57 pound, 10 month old puppy right now that we just acquired.

So that one's adding a lot of work and he's the best. His name? His name's Indy because we rescued him the day we left for Indonesia, which is a great plan is to rescue a dog and then immediately have to find somebody to watch him for 12 days. Immediately abandoned. Well, he was in the shelter for his name was Spain in the shelter. They named him Spain. I saw a photo. I saw a photo. Well,'t we call my own name, like run around Spain, Spain. It's a little, it's too much, even for me.

Um, Leo, but see, yeah, exactly. So his name was Spain. So I spotted him in January. I'm like, Oh my God, his name is Spain. And he's so cute. Cause I follow all the rescue things in Chicago. I try to post the dogs for other people to see. And then February, I'm like, Spain's still there.

That's wild. Like what a cute dog. And then March. And I'm like, man, this dog might not make it because he's at the pound in Chicago. It's completely overflowing and there's no warning on which dogs get put down every day, even the volunteers don't get told. So like at any moment he could just be like, well, okay, you've been here three months,

no one took you so you're dead. It's awful. And most people don't realize how many dogs get killed every day and then they go buy a fancy puppy instead of rescuing and then I want to sit them down for a nice long talk. But the point is, we had a dog when I was first growing up that passed away when I was pretty young. So we got Ruffy, who my sister and I got to name Ruffy. And then we had Toby.

So we always had dogs, just one dog growing up. I think they're really important for kids so that they're not afraid of dogs. I think it's hard to raise kids. They don't have to have one, but they should be around them so they get comfortable with them. I also think it best case scenario, they learn a little responsibility, although that's a lot to ask. Usually the parents end up doing everything. But, um, uh, and then I had a fish that was so fat and lazy that it floated upside down instead of having to like use its fins to keep moving. So we always thought it was dead over and over and over. And then you'd hit the thing and it would flip back over

and be like, I'm alive. That's me trying to wake up every morning. Noticing a real bias in how Sarah views and empathizes with different species of animal. Yeah. No, the fish was great. It was just hilarious. Dogs get cute names ending in Y. Uh-huh. Fish. Ruffy, Toby, Indy. Good call. I have two other dogs, Sledge and Banks. They don't have Ys. But I actually forget the fish name right now, which is sad. My dad watched him when

we went to camp one summer and he didn't make it. And I'm like, either he forgot to feed him or he was not dead. And my dad was like, oh, looks dead down the toilet. He's like, ah, I'm not dead yet. I'm getting better. Can I tell you guys the name of the cat that I was brought home to? What do you mean brought home to? Like when I was born. She was born, the cat existed already. We had a dog named Bear and a cat named Aaron Purr. This is a game of a lot.

If anyone wants to know. You were ahead of the game on Hamilton. If anyone wants to know why I am the way I am, it's because I have parents who named a cat Aaron Purr. Okay, well I have a neighbor who has chickens and they're named Gloria Steinhun and Ruth Bader-Hensburg. Jesus. So those kids are also growing up in a very specific home.

They're also going to become podcasters. I want to roast all of you. Wait, so, Paolo, I like the fish. My gentle suggestion, if you can get another fish of the same type, it's going to loosen or lessen the blow when the fish inevitably dies. They just don't live very long usually. I feel like the beta fish is, there are two T's. It's been, I've been, it's confusing to me. I've always heard beta fish. Me too.

Okay. Until I got into beta fish YouTube and all these people are like. So I've been wrong the whole time. It feels like the conversation we had about a pickup artist, alpha fish, beta fish. Yeah. Yes. Yes. I'm trying to avoid these fish truly, I would say, keynote escalating on each other,

which is to say, ramming their bodies into the other. Because that's a thing that these fish do. Is there another kind of fish that you know gets along with a betta that won't ram or eat each other? I think it's sort of like a so... I think it's like a... This fish is a real gunslinger. Okay. Eye? A low ranger? Yes. So low.

Yeah. Will occasionally ram its own reflection in that reflective, beautifully clean glass. I have a, I actually have a different take Sarah. I think that part of having a pet, which is good for kids, is understanding that death happens. Okay. Like when our dogs died, it was absolutely devastating, but it was also like, hey, this is the thing that happens.

I do think that there was something that felt almost spiritual about it, because it was like, oh, wow, okay, this isn't... It gave context to life ends, and that, which is a horrifying thing as a kid, but is also like instead of growing up sanitized from it or being like this doesn't happen, it happens. Momentum mori, remember we all die, which is the whole value of life. Life would mean nothing if we didn't alternately have death. Yeah. I agree with that.

I'm just trying to save Pablo. What could be? I mean, look, people have heard who've heard me talk on various platforms know that my pet experience involved hamsters. Right. I had hamsters and I feel like I need to ritually remind America of this fact. The hamsters I had were not just drug addicts. They were cannibals and murderers because I had stories to this story is horrifying. I go by

hamsters, I get a wire cage, I get a plastic spinning wheel like an exercise wheel, not unlike the one we saw in that video except vertical attaches to the wire cage. So hamsters, what do they do? They procreate a lot. All of these hamsters are born in the circle spinning wheel, right? That's cool. Oh, a little nest. But you know what else hamsters do Katie Nolan? Hamsters eat their young. So what happens? Well, what's the hamsters begin to eat their babies inside of the plastic

translucent Patrick Bateman Ferris wheel of death? And what else happens? The hamsters decapitate their babies and so that's that's a spinning wheel that they're still exercising on. Yeah, the wheel is still spinning, forming a literal death rattle of hamster baby heads that I watch every day when I wake up and see how are my pets doing? The answer very badly. They're doing very badly. This is why you are the way you are.

It explains so much. It explains so much. It explains so much. I can never trust or love again. Did they eat their own babies? Yeah. I once witnessed that. Never came back from that. They just decapitated their own young and ran around

in a wheel full of baby heads. I understand being worried about dogs in a New York apartment and the work. And I certainly don't want people to get dogs who don't have, you know, the ability to give them love and time. But also, I feel like I'm like the, for dogs, what people are with babies, where they're like trying to convince me to have kids and like, you'll just never understand love until

you have your own. And I'm like, I'm good. But dogs, I'm like, I don't know how people literally live without coming home to this thing that's like so happy to see you, wants to spend every second with you, gives you emotional love and security and snuggles and like... The snuggles are so good. Yeah. When we come home from vacation and our dogs are like staying with someone else and it's

late. That's my dog voice. Opening the door to nothing is so sad. How do you do that? Yeah. I... I can do more of it if you want. Just let me know. like staying with someone else and it's late. Opening the door to nothing is so sad. How do you do that? Yeah, I, uh, I can do more of it if you want. Just let me know what the doggy boys. Oh, you see, I'm really good girl. Oh my goodness. I once accidentally hit my phone recording and recorded myself. I love you. You're the best thing that's ever. I love you so much.

Did you know that? And it's just like on and I read it and I was like, oh my God. Get a hold of your life. This is why, I mean, partly why I can't have a dog. Why? You'd have to feel something? You don't have a dog voice? Beyond, beyond dog voice, also just the clear anti-fish bigotry that you guys are both exhibiting here.

You can't hug a fish. Not with that attitude. Fish doesn't remember you. Get an octopus if you want a tank. Octopus remember you, will play games with you, has feelings. It's probably smarter than all of us, might be aliens. A fish, it's just... That escalated quickly. Oh, do some research on octopus.

No, I have, but I haven't seen the alien part. People, there's this like thing about how they don't share DNA with almost any other species on Earth, so it's like where'd they come from and who are they. Oh, sick. And also thing about how they don't share DNA with almost any other species on Earth. So it's like where'd they come from and who are they? Oh, sick. Right. And also like, don't we think it's a little weird that this animal can just like change

shape and color and texture just anytime they want? Like nothing like a chameleon is like, let me get a little green. Octopus like makes their entire body look like a rock or like... You can squeeze an octopus through the size of a quarter, like a whole size of a quarter. Yeah, there's an octopus that's found a way out the like air conditioning shafts of like a, of a aquarium to become one. And octopuses can unscrew a closed jar lid from the inside. Octopuses also have a different personality in each of their tentacles.

Like there's a little brain in each tentacle. So like one, like would be a great lover, by the way, if you think about it, which everyone started talking about after that, my octopus friend movie where that guy was definitely one thousand percent. But if you think about it, which I did after watching that movie, I was like, did he f**k that octopus? If they each have a different brain in their tentacle, like you could have a tender lover and... Guys, I'm busy tonight. I'm having a nine-way with this octopus. Hey, listeners, it's Mike Ryan, and I've changed a lot over the course of 20 years that you've known me. I've gone from unlikable to, well, my hair has changed. But my point is, while a lot's

changed over our relationship, there's one thing that hasn't changed one bit. And that's the great taste of Miller Lite. Another thing that hasn't changed is that it's less filling. So what's the best thing about the original Lite beer? Miller Lite has sparked this debate way back in 1975, and we still haven't settled it. They keep it simple. It's got undebatable quality, great taste, 96 calories, you know all those things.

It's a beer that strips everything away that you don't need and holds on to what matters most. But with Miller Lite, you don't have to choose what's best. Miller Lite has great taste and is less filling. It's both those things. Tastes like Miller time. To get Miller Lite delivered right to your door, visit MillerLite.com slash Dan, or you can find it pretty much anywhere that sells beer.

Celebrate responsibly, Miller Brewing Company, Milwaukee, Wisconsin, 96 calories per 12 ounces. Fewer cows and carbs than premium regular beer. Don LeBretard. Oh, I like firing people. So I take the opportunity to fire whenever I possibly can because I can use it as a learning experience for them

and try to help them out and try to point out what they did wrong. But in this case, the employee was enough levels below where I was that I did not do the firing, but I had it done within moments of discovery. I like firing people. It's just absurd. It's absurd.

Stugats. I'm talking about people who I fire who deserve it, who have done something that actively requires me to fire them. It is my unadulterated pleasure to do so. This is the Don LeBattar Show with the Stugats. Here you go. Here you go. Full support. That's the nothing personal word of the day. It is Friday, May 10th, 2024. We are going full lover boy today because we have a show about people who are going to have

a lot of weekends in front of them. We're starting the show in Phoenix. So many places we could have started. We talked about the possibility of the Mavericks tying the series against the thunder, how great it was. We had Sarah in tears before the show started. Exhausted, but happy tears because the Rangers are up three nothing, doing things that they haven't done since she was barely a thought of being born a few months later. I really wanted to go right, right to Frank Vogel because Frank Vogel is a coach of the

Phoenix Suns who works for Matt Ishbia. Matt Ishbia, who's competing right now, we don't have a clear winner, but we are right now in a process where somehow we got budget from MetalArk and we are doing focus groups. We're doing data analytics, and we are trying to decide who's gonna be our next Danny boy, who will take the mantle as the greatest provider of amazing things to talk about for a daily show like Nothing Personal.

And I have thrown Matt Ishby is name image and likeness in the ring because he seems to be an endless fountain of idiocy. And yesterday that idiocy reared its ugly head yet again, its unsuccessful head yet again. It's unsuccessful head yet again. And Frank Vogel got fired. Now you may not know the name Frank Vogel, but should coach the Lakers. You may remember he signed a five year, $31 million deal and he has served. Wait for it. Uh, uh, that's French for one year., no, no. It's got four years left. And

the best part is after the first round sweep at the hands of the Minnesota Timberwolves, side note, this next segment is brought to you by Pablo Torre finds out in the most recent episode of Pablo Torre finds out there is an in depth 50 minute discussion on the ownership nightmare that is the Minnesota Timberwolves and the fight between. Glenn Taylor the octogenarian current owner and Alex Rodriguez and Mark Laurie the potential we really want to own the team. They're in arbitration right now and he goes through in 50 minutes what I've been able to go through with you guys in stories leading up to that, but he goes into some detail and has a funny little show about it. Minnesota Timberwolves, you could say, have some issues, but they're on the court leading the Nuggets two games to nothing, potentially have now one of the top five players going forward and Anthony Edwards now and for the next half a decade, maybe more.

But the Phoenix Suns are an unmitigated dumpster fire. The Phoenix Suns who were swept by those same timber wolves said, all right, Frank, let me go back to tell you how funny this is because the word of the day is full of support. Frank Vogel, he basically had the following quote when asked, are you gonna be back? It's so great that the media asked these questions

of a five year deal coach who's one year into his deal, who makes the playoffs get swept by the wolves and then is asked in the post game press conference, hey, how do you feel? You coming back? Managers and coaches have been asked that since the dawn of time and they all say the same thing. It's a stupid question to ask.

The question is always answered by, well, I feel no reason not to. I feel like we've put this organization in a great position, we're gonna learn from this adversity, and we're gonna come back stronger and kick some arse. And Frank Vogel did something that we tell coaches and managers when you are given a vote of confidence or when you feel as though you're securing your job, just don't mention that you've got the relationship with your GM, that you're fortunate to be in a city with such great fans, with a clubhouse that you love to be

at every day. But Vogel said, I have the full support of Matt Ishbia. What is it to have the full support of a completely irrational owner who's got new owneritis, who has an ego the size of Texas and is trying to figure out how to win a championship. Except the only way to win a championship is to do exactly what your instinct tells you not to do. I guess you could Costanza it and the Phoenix sons would have a chance.

So only a few short moments after having the full support of Matt Ishby, uh, Matt Ishby, Matt Ishbia at the urging of nobody but Matt Ishbia. Let me do that differently. Let me do that differently because there must have been the urging of one guy. There have to, there has to have been. 412-869. There has to have been 4, 12, 8, 69. At the urging of at most one guy,

Matt Ishby has said, we know exactly what happened. We put Durant and Booker together. That is a first class championship caliber team. We brought in Bradley, we love you, Beal. And if only he could talk, he would say, I'm not worth $50 million a year for the next three years. But they realized that the issue was vocal. And this is Ishbia and his top lieutenant,

the greatest executive in the history of sports, Isaiah Thomas. It would be the equivalent of a smart GM asking Jeter what he thinks about a team or a smart GM asking Jordan what he thinks about a team. It puts the ass in asinine, but Isaiah Thomas may have said, Dishby, oh, this is it. It's not me. It's not me. It's not these deals that we did

because I told you to do them. It ain't the players, it's the coach. Let's get, what's the difference? You're gonna pay him 31 million over five. You'll pay him not to coach. You'll capitalize it. You'll write it off in year one. It's all good.

Well, Isaiah, who do you think we should hire? Good question, Matt. I gotta tell ya, I was one heck of a coach before you became an owner. Why don't you go back and look at my track record? I could take these players the respect that Durant and Booker have for me. I'm your man, George Michael. I can pretty much guarantee you that Matt Ishby is going to hire a coach and that coach is not going to last a very long time.

And the person that I feel for, I sort of feel for both the rant and Devin Booker, more so for Booker. Devin Booker, not withstanding any choices he makes off the court. Devin Booker, I mean, I am not here to criticize anybody's love life. It's amazing. I'm just saying that when you're dating someone in the Kardashian general group, you're open yourself up to the Chris Humphreys treatment.

Devin Booker will now have his seventh coach in 10 years. Raise your hand. Not that I'll see it because I'm talking to an empty couch. Raise your hand if you think that playing for seven coaches in 10 years is a good plan. Or do you think that the Spurs plan where Popovich has been there since 1996 hasn't won in a decade hasn't been out of the first round?

I guess probably in seven years, maybe 17 could have been the last time. Miami Heat, Spolster has been around since 08. It's a long time. Even the Warriors, Kerr has been around for 14 through that dynasty. Who thinks that cycling through coaches is the best way to win. Raise your hand if you're sure and believe me, this ain't Axe. This is sure. Because you don't want to blame yourself. You don't want to blame the players. So just cycle through a bunch of coaches and say, we're looking for a new voice.

How much input do you think Durant and Booker had in Vogel moving on? Do you think the way it worked is that they had their end of season meeting with Ishbia? Don't worry, someone like Ishbia doesn't do stuff like that. Their end of season meetings last the entire off season because Ishbia is the type of owner who's texting the players who are rolling their eyes, putting their phones away, not interested in hearing from them. I've seen this, believe me, I've seen it. Up close and personal, Michelle Pfeiffer and Robert Redford. And hey, who do you want? Who do you want to coach you?

What do you think of that Bucs guy that got fired because he was out in the first round? And I know him, I know him, he's good. What about Budenholzer? Let's bring him in. Let's recycle him. He won a championship with the Bucks. Can you imagine riding one championship for the rest of your career?

It's awesome. So the rumor is that Budenholzer is going to get the job, which means he has the job already. The rumor is that Budenholzer is going to get the job, which means he has the job already. There is no way that Ishbia is going to do a coaching search. What are they going to come in for eight hours of interviews with Ishbia? He's got mortgages to screw you on. He's not spending time interviewing coaches for eight hours, five coaches, making sure you interview minority coaches.

Horse hockey. He's got boot and holds are wrapped up and signed already. So he's going to pay him. Boot and holds is not going to do it for free. He's going to want more than Vogel. So now we'll have two coaches making approximately $6 to $7 million a year. I love it. And do you know what it's going to lead to? making approximately $6 to $7 million a year. I love it.

And do you know what it's going to lead to? Bopkis. Because Kevin Durant and Devin Booker and Bradley Beal, and mark my words, that threesome is worse than Laura Flynn Boyle, Stephen Baldwin, and Josh Charles. Anyway, anyone got that? Laura Flynn Boyle, Stephen Baldwin, and Josh Charles. Anyway, anyone got that? Is there anyone listening? According to my math, there should be 58% of you who know exactly what I just said.

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