The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz - Hour 1: Paul Blart Mall Cop

Episode Date: September 28, 2023

We kick things off with this week's Thursday Thunder before diving into more Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce news and David's Top 5 Made-For-Money couples. Then, do you care about a MLB player hitting 40 homers and stealing 70 bases? Plus, the Kevin James revival and Tony's scorching hot take on mascots. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

You're listening to Giraffe King's Network. Parents, when you visit California, childhood rules, if you don't remember how awesome childhood is, just ask yourself, what can't you do? Dance to a giant organ played by ocean waves? Yep. Camping floating tree houses hundreds of feet off the ground? Check.

Jumping a big tub of mud on purpose? Call it rejuvenation. We don't care. Just pack your fun pants and let childhood rule your family vacation. If you need help, ask your kids. Start planning at visitCalifornia.com. This is the Don Levertor Show with the Stugat's podcast.

Dan Thursday Thunder is Red Hat. It's 1-0 in its last one. It's one and oh, it's last one. You've also hit a couple of parlayes recently in general, right? A three-teamer and a four-teamer, so it's not just that it's been one in a row, but you've won two of the last four or something like that. We're doing all right. We're doing all right. Remember, these things are big and juicy. So, I mean, if you lose like three straight, don't worry.

We got you like that fourth week on average. In Thursday, Thunder's brought to you by Draft King Sports, with Usco Dan when you sign up on the app or limited time offer for new customers. Dan, we're gonna get right to it. There's a Thursday night football game tonight. It's Lions at Packers, Packers seemingly getting

a little healthier. We're gonna take the two points with the Green Bay Packers, Packers at home, two point dogs. That's like one. And you guys tell me, Hazus Lazardo is something that exists, and I saw him on the docket, I'm like, I love this board, we're gonna take Marlon's money line. And the third and final leg of Thursday,. We're going to the WNBA. The W as fans call it. We're going to take Las Vegas aces on the road against Dallas Wings.

That game is tomorrow. Lay in the six points. That is three legs for your Thursday Thunder. We don't want Jordan Love to complete a pass tonight. No, we're not saying that, you know, the Flures are going to call a play. No, no, no, that was last week. This week, we're not saying that, you know, the flurs got to call a play. No, no, no, that was last week. This week, we more complicated. What is your logic just out of curiosity? Is it just home dog and health, green-based offensive line? Is a very good offensive line?

Jordan Love will be protected. They will be able to run the ball, but I think most people listening to this think the lions are better than the packer. Well, my logic is there's a Thursday night football game tonight. And I have to have action on it. Well, but what you could have had the other action, you could have had the other. No, you know, I'm going home doggy. That's getting healthy. All right. What's the logic of a Friday pick for a Thursday thunder? That's a great question. I wanted to give the W some love And there's no W games tonight, but that means the people who do the Thursday thunder will not have resolution Wait till tomorrow for it to cash. I like betting parlay's like that you can hedge against them

But You can Friday Friday games before Sundays, but he is saying it is sponsored as a Thursday. It probably should be game, but it's called Thursday Thunder because we do the segment on Thursday. Because all the guys work, but they you do the segment. If you do it Thursday, it's thunder. It's thunder. It goes. It has two words in it.

No, it's right. We should have taken middle Tennessee against Western Kentucky tonight. Bingo. I would have taken Western Kentucky tonight. Bingo! I would have taken Western Kentucky there. Hill tovers. Big conference matchup. Hey, hey. We did not get to another top five list that David had that I did want to get to because

what are you guys hearing as it relates to Taylor Swift and Jason Kelsey? I think, I'm sorry, Travis Kelsey, I keep doing that. It's funny in my way. I would really love to see that. It's funny in my way. It's funnier with Jason Kelsey. If you think Travis is marriage,

I'll be scandalous. His eyebrows is what I'm saying. That's why it's funny. Physically just look at him. That's why it's funnier. But are a lot of people, I think at this point, put it on the poll, Juju Atleta Targ show, can you get 30% of the people in America

to believe any conspiracy theory? Any conspiracy theory? But I don't know how many people are doing what El Duncan did and what David Samson is doing, which is, I think, jumping to the conclusion, Travis Kelsey and Taylor Swift is not real. That is a contrivance made by marketing teams to increase both of their profits.

Are a lot of people doing that? Are a lot of people meeting this not just with judgment and skepticism? Are they saying this is a business deal? Oh yeah, 100%. I mean, they have this new podcast, Traverse Jersey Sales, of Skyrocketed. It makes sense why people would think this is a business deal

I don't think it is but I totally buy it too. Why would Taylor be part of this business deal? She doesn't need more I mean obviously she what she's just but nobody's learning about Taylor Swift There are plenty of people learning about Travis Kelsey. Why would Taylor Swift need to do this? She's huge Yeah, she's one of the few things that you can make an argument is as big as the NFL in this country. But the people that are hardcore NFL fans are really learning about what a massive deal she is. So this is two of the biggest brands coming together. She's already been reported that she's showing up

Sunday night in New York. It does like if you were a skeptic and you see like they don't necessarily match up, given their dating history, what's at play here? It's all coming together quickly. There's Amazon Prime Connections. I understand people saying something feels a little bit off about this, but I'm rooting for love.

You guys don't get it. You guys aren't seeing the big picture here. It's not a business transaction between Travis Kelsey and between Taylor Swift. It's a business transaction between the NFL and Taylor Swift. All the sudden numbers are going crazy. A game that was an absolute blowout was the most watched game of the weekend I think. It was it was it was the big it was a terrible game and it was the most watch game on that on the network that. Everyone loves to watch the fair for sure great matter you

will do a great job over there Sunday night football without Aaron Rogers who's going to be there Taylor Swift well that's a problem that they have with their jet schedule they've got like five prime time games with the get flexed out of the box is possible or they're just dating no it it seems like a play by the NFL to appeal to the female audience. They've been trying to do it for years with pink jerseys and well just pink jerseys. And now they're like, okay, don't forget the rhinestone jerseys.

Oh my god, the rhinestones, the rhinestones are great. They're good in the sparkle. Aaron Andrews has a collection. What kind of meeting are you guys having here? Like at the beginning of the year, they're like, how do we grow? How do we grow? And someone came into the room and was like,

all right, Kelsey and Swift. And Gidele was like, love it. Yeah. Like, this is not, you guys are crazy. That's exactly how it is. You guys all sound like lunatics right now. What if it was like born out of a Super Bowl pitch meeting? And someone's like, what if it's not just one game?

What if we stretch this out in entire season with Tei Tei? You can do this for years. I was very skeptical of this on Sunday. The fact that it's still going makes me a little bit less skeptical of it. David, it's been five days of just sheer bombardment of Taylor Swift propaganda on my timeline. And I am not a swifty, but it has been everywhere.

I don't think the NFL would have chosen to be a part of this. On the day they announced their Super Bowl half time show because Taylor Swift, who turned them down, completely overshadowed that Usher was gonna be doing the show. I feel like they would have planned that out a little bit better. Five days and she's already met the mom.

I mean, come on guys. She threw a Hail Mary and it completed. He he was just like yeah, I'd date Taylor Swift Like I and then it's happening and he's like I'm gonna ride this thing as long like he's loving it He's probably at this point freezing at this point. He's probably like you know what a bit much I was I listened to some of their podcasts and he was just like yep not not my life's not private anymore So I think he's getting a little too much of what he asked for. Welcome to Stardom, friends. He's gonna be Chris Humphreys.

There are a lot of videos being made. Come on, man. I brought some stuff. He hosted S&L before dating Taylor Swift. Get out of here with that. Forley. Married Kardashian, Kim Kardashian for like 90 days or something like that.

I was gonna say 90 seconds, but it was something. A little bit of time. It's not Chris Humphreys. He's a legitimate star now. He, the NFL, that game was something. But it's, it's not Chris Humphreys. He's a legitimate star now. He, the, the NFL, that, that game was number one with women as, as well, the 12 to 47. That she moved, she moved a number I didn't think it could be. That was, that was the worst game.

That was, at least the dolphins game had a 70 and had something in it that was different. That was just terrible. The bears were terrible. And it was the most watch game in the most watch game with women. Let's get to David's top five list of fake power couples, fake couples. Five made for money couples. Okay. All Hollywood related. Just in life.

All right. Number five. Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman. Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman even adopted children to make Nicole Kidman a star and it worked. I think I haven't heard this is you can't prove these things. Number four. Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes. some crews and Katie Holmes. You can't prove. You're right. That was pure love.

Or Scientology. Number three. Tom Cruise and Penelope Cruz. I'm not gonna change her last name. Yeah, Crucifan. He's getting better at it. This one I don't even need to do anything with our last names. Number two.

A. Rod and JLo. That couple was clearly, clearly all about business. They fake. Vigorous, vigorous head nod from Lucy, more than any of the others. You guys, Tom Cruise owns the Canackory, but you guys think Arod JLo was just strictly a business fame transaction. Yeah, 100%. Going back a little, Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman, there's this like historic photo of her after their divorce, if her just like celebrating, and it's real if you're celebrating that much.

So I think that one's real, but J-Lo A-Rod, that's always been fun. But how do you guys have these, are these negotiations between marketing teams and agents? Hey, you guys should be together. Be photographed a few times. I'm a cruise. Scientology. It's Scientology. Tom Cruise can't, he has should be together. Be photographed a few times. I'm a Scientology. It's Scientology. Tom Cruise can't, he has to be with,

he was with Mimi Rogers, then Nicole Kidman, then Penelope Cruise, then Katie Holmes. Now he's, there's a new mission possibly stating someone else, this is all part of the plan and it's all just made for money. The marketing plan, relationships

to traffic in commercials and traffic in attention. Because people don't want to... Yes. Okay. Number one. The number one top-fait, top five, made for money couple, John Skipper and Dan Levitard. Oh my God. I'm sorry, John, but let me tell you, I don't know what's real, what's not real about

you. It was a couple, but it is the top couple that I think was better. You're getting drones and faces right there in the other room. They're not. They may not know. Are you skeptical of their relationship, David? I am slightly skeptical of their relationship, yes. How has Pete David said not on this list anywhere?

Oh, that's all true love. I do love Dan LaPita. He's one of my good long friends. Good long friend. You lost confidence in your foghorn, LaiGorn. You made the CEO of the company. What, I do believe that we are good friends. Sounds like a giant, a giant,

a real story. It's a giant, a giant, a rooster. It's a cartoon rooster and Adam Sandler's one and four. And you can play it. We are good friends. Be a best boy. That's your boss, baby. It's the water ball.

Daniela Badole. This episode is brought to you by Priscilla, the new movie from Academy Award-winning writer and director, Sophia Copa. All right. What's your name? This is Hanna Boyer. Based on the book Elvis in Me by Priscilla Pressley. You like Elvis Pressley?

Of course. Who doesn't? And starring Kayleigh Spani as Priscilla and Jacob Allordie as Elvis. He's not like you imagine. Priscilla, only in theaters November 3rd. Get tickets at PriscillaMovie.com. Don Lebatard. Did you guys see Gilbert Arena's assessment of Zion Williamson?

Agent zero. Stugats. Did you answer my question there or no? Like, no. OK, very good. This is the Don Lebatard show with a Stugats. I don't know about you guys, but something I will always click on is if you give me some sort of headline that says, Old Timey Baseball Announcers object to how someone in baseball is behaving or celebrating or where there is joy, there's an old guy

in the booth yelling about have less joy. And when I clicked on it most recently, last night, when Ronald Acunia went 4070, 70 stolen bases with 40 home runs, that guy is the best player in baseball. The braves are overwhelming, and when that guy gets on first base, he's always on second base, but when he got to 70, they stopped the Cubs game,

a very important week in the Cubs season. During a dramatic time, they paused the game to do a montage, and he lifted the base and everything else. And the announcer who was complaining about it was Boog Shambi was my friend Boog. And he's not wrong. They don't need to stop it for that particular celebration. But he sounded like the old timey baseball announcer who yells about there being too much fun in the game because Acunia is great

and they stop the game to celebrate. Hey, isn't our guy great for the 70th time he's stealing a base this season. I don't think it's a number that anyone cares about though. 40 home runs in 70 stolen bases. I feel nothing. I was gonna ask, why did he raise the base? Like, are they still playing? So whose side are you on, Dan? Are going to call him a kermedgin or I'm I'm do I have to take a side right? I have to take a side between my biases toward my friend. I side with always stop the game so that people can enjoy themselves and celebrate whatever it is that they wish to celebrate.

It is a difficult crossroads. Flame Boyant Latin baseball player breaking the old unspoken rules of the game and Bougeshaun based calves. Giant calves. This is the biggest calves I've ever seen. Giant freckled calves. Somebody else who has big thick calves is Kevin James and I did not understand why it is Kevin James was all over my timeline yesterday. Can someone explain it to me? Would anybody like to explain to me why every time I looked up yesterday? There was a sheepish Kevin James I don't really know

Do you know what just I mean why not is there something wrong with that? I just don't get the joke. I don't understand what it is that we're doing or why it was so prevalent yesterday I it all missed me. Why were you laughing, Tony? Because you said sheepishly, and it's the best way to describe it. Because if I look at Kevin James's picture right now, he's got a little sheepy-coysmile. I thought it was the Freckles comment.

That was no, that was not. I love any time you make much necessary details about his caps. He gets so offended by the Freckles comment. Really? You do it a lot with the Freckles. Just gonna say. It's a funny word. Freckles a funny word? You do it a lot with the Freckles. Just gonna say, it's a funny word.

Freckles, it's a funny word. It's an English totally. You're very, you know, inclusive with everybody. But when I come to the, you know. It's different people with Freckles. It's very quick to shame Freckles. Very quick. You always are.

It's fine. Dan right now is the Kevin James meme getting called out about the Freckles. The Kevin James memes, I think it started like a week ago and it really picked up steam this weekend. Dan and now there's just like there's dozens of them. I mean they keep coming out of the woodwork him posing in the weirdest ways in a pothole. Well this is what I noticed. Kevin James, oh I don't know how big a star he was. He's one of the biggest stars we had for a moment on television. Sean Payton movie was was the death now I think for him.

He took an unusual number of photo shoots because that is what I saw a lot of Kevin James posing for a lot of different things. It seemed to me that when Kevin James arrived at stardom, he spent all the time after that taking photo shoots of some sort that the TV people and he was grateful to do it Happy to do it. I love that we're having the win Kevin James arrived at startup conversation on the show Lucy and I spent I want to say like the better part of an hour a few nights ago talking about Paul Blart Mall cop That was such a key part of my childhood. I remember watching that movie being like, this is the best humor's ever gonna get. This, it will never be funnier than Paul Blart on the Segway going through the mall.

It was the P. Cumer. I'm happy he's getting this moment. Perfectly named character, right, Lucy? That is a man named Paul Blart. You look at him, you're like, yep, that is Paul Blart, an American hero. A mall cop. I watched Paul Blart mall cop two once on Easter Sunday.

Second one. There's this Chris. You're the third. I think there might be a third one. I'll have to look at that. No, Viva Fort Vegas was a fake. No, it's a bummer. I've never seen the first Paul Blart mall cop

that Lucy was just talking about, but there was a sequel. And it was on TV on Easter Sunday a couple of years ago. My entire family, for some some reason was just kind of like food coma'd and watching it. And at the end of the movie, my aunt actually started crying because she was so touched by the ending

of Paul Blart Mall Cop 2. And I was like, Aunt Amy, you might need some antidepressants, but also this movie, it really hits people in the field's day. You should have cried, honestly. You should have cried too. For Paul, I For Paul. Yeah. I don't know. Did any of you at any other time in childhood had the amazing, have the amazing reaction that Lucy had where you point at something and say, that's as funny as funny as ever going to get for as long as I live. A child looking

at humor and saying Paul Blart, Mallalt Cop, is the top of Austin Powers. Austin Powers when they did the bit where the subtitles would have a swear word in them and then like you move the book and it's like, oh, shittaki mushrooms. I was like, oh, that's the shit right there. Oh, that's, what is that? Is that a giant Johnson?

Every Austin Powers movie for me. Two balls. Paul Blart rocketed the Kevin James Stardom because I thought the television show is where his stardom started. That I remember him doing a cinnabon joke in an airport. I thought that's the first notice I took of Kevin James. I still don't understand entirely though. Do we have an explanation for why yesterday

or the last couple of days he's been making this many appearances all over your timeline? You know how memes work, Dan? Yeah, once it catches and everybody uses it, I'm sure Michael Jordan didn't expect several years after a Hall of Fame speech that he'd become a meme, but it just happened.

Someone discovers it and then content creators get their hands on it and become, it just totally takes off. I will say this one has legs. This one, the meme cycle has shortened dramatically in the last 10 years. Is that a private? This meme has legs.

We're on like day number. I wanna say like seven of Kevin James memes and they're still hitting. It's kinda crazy. I wanted to get into I mentioned it the other day for some reason I was watching the Washington state Oregon state game and Washington for some reason. Camelon Washington state great game.

Really good. Is a great game. And Washington state has been in the news around here a little bit because I think Lucy took some solace. Lucy has been a public person who was trying to help Lee Corso, even though I say she's trying to run an old man out of his job. She's trying to help Lee Corso, and she took some solace with a Washington state story because they agreed with you. They sided with you. Somebody came after Lee

Corso. The coach was at the coach of Washington state? Yeah, the coach came after him, but it was all over like a misunderstanding. He thought that he said that Lee Korsow called Washington State Oregon State the no one watches bull, but he said no one wants us. So then he took us stray at Lee Korsow. It was this whole thing. Can you guys play the video here that involves Washington State? And I caught something this morning and I was watching Game Day.

And Corso comes on and he says, the no one watches bull. And I don't really understand it. What's the merit once again? Because the facts say people watch the Cougs. And the people watch the Cougs more than every team that's left over in the Big 12. So I coach Corso, he's at the point now where they just, they give them the sheet and he,

you know, he reads off of it and they try to make it joke, but it didn't even make sense. Okay, it's well documented. What ESPN has done to try to, you know, get this, get our league and to where it's at. And I would love to have a conversation with Coach Corso about the, you know, the value that he sees in breaking up the premier and West Coast Conference. I'd also love to have a conversation with Coach Korsow about how he thinks, you know, student athletes and mental health and flying them all over the country is a positive thing.

I'm open to those conversations, because I'm fact based on everything that we do, right? So, just went off there and did something different, but I just I just know this like I'll say it again we belong right we belong. I mean what is it with these college football coaches going after octogenarians who say very benign things about their teams and then all of a sudden because of some big miscommunication we're putting Lee Corso on blast and Lou Holts on blast. Let's all just take let's all just focus on you know and Lou Holts on blast. Let's all just take, let's all just focus on, you know, who are we playing next week? Let's take a page out of Bill Bella checks book on to Seattle. We don't need to attack Lee Corso. But one Ryan Day does it that way when he does it the way that he did.

Tough team! Yes, thank you. What he said about our team, what he said about our team, I cannot believe. That's something like that. What he said about our team, I cannot believe. That sounds like sad. But Lucy, this isn't even the Washington state story. We haven't talked to Lucy enough about Al Gold and lining up 10. I'm sorry, Jess, we haven't talked to you about this. If you mix this up, that should be a fine.

That's $10. In fact, Mike, go sit in the penalty box, because I was talking to you. I'll rip apart Al Golden and Marcus Freeman and whoever else you want me to. I am not happy today. I will not be defending them and I'm not giving team talking points.

That was a major screw up, Mike. We will get to her. We hope that's done. Her Notre Dame thoughts in a second. And her Notre Dame pain in retaliation for her laughing and how wrong we were as they show. But Washington State with a new model for how college sports should run is something that we all want to participate in.

Yeah, there's throwing out the relegation word in the PAC-2 and the Mountain West. They're pretty, it is the PAC-2, they're desperate to find a way to not go fully to the Mountain West and find something that would keep both Washington State and Oregon State relevant. So they've been having these conversations with the Mountain West about a relegation system between those two conferences. There's no way it happens, but it is fun to think about. Make it even more cutthroat than it already is. Make it even larger stakes on college football because your team has to care the same amount that you care

because if they don't produce, they get run out of their own league. Think about the transfer portal. You guys want college football to even be messier. At this point, you're just rooting for maximum energy, right? You're rooting, you're rooting if it's going to be packed to and uh, all made for television stuff that's just going to be action running up and down the field so that you can rip out golden at the end of a game. I think we all want that. Buffalo, New York has transformed itself into one of the best destinations in the country for art and culture. With an amazing collection of modern art at the Buffalo AKG Art Museum, restored architectural treasures like Frank Lloyd Wright's Martin House, an epic music scene that rocks you around. Neurles by some of the greatest street artists in the world,

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Don Lebertard! At the end of our conversation with Alex Smith, and we talked for about 30 minutes but I feel like nobody is going to remember anything about that conversation other than how you fell flat at the end with your very last word. Listen to how Stugats here at the end of this interview says goodbye just exhausted to Alex Smith. I just exhausted to Alex Smith. That's still gots. What happened, Alex? I'm dead, I'm exhausted. I haven't stopped talking in a month, I mean,

I don't know to tell you. VCC Don Limitaar Show with this still gots. I would say that even though I am someone who has come out I would say that even though I am someone who has come out publicly against the acidic corrosion that argument television has been on sports discurs, I would say that one of the biggest arguments I've ever had with anybody on television or otherwise was with Mike Wilbon on television because Mike Wilbon looked in my face and said he hated mascots and this ideologically offended every fabric of my soul and then I walk in here today and young arrogant buck Tony looks me in my eye and says he has no time for mascots. And I don't even understand your viewpoint.

So think of the past, Dano. I think we need to eliminate mascots. Do you know like joy? No, I do. Eliminate them. Eliminate them. So like a firing squad. I wouldn't go out for that. A fight to the death, actually I would be in on that. I would be in trouble. Yeah, Roe Rumbai would be interested in.

But as far as the NFL, wait, but they can only use the weapons that are part of their costumes. Which one do you use? So the Leopard Cans got his fist and puddles got some weird thing in his hand beating the crap out of him. Spardy's got his sword.

Spardy's got his sword. You know who's gonna have a real hard time in that one? The tree from Stanford. Oh my God. Beat down. What if he just rolls? He can roll. I hate the tree.

Get rid of the tree. I'm with Tony on that. That freaking tree. That tree has so much attitude. Anyone who has ever played a sport against Stanford hates that tree. The only people that like the tree are probably the Anyone who has ever played a sport against Stanford hates that tree. The only people that like the tree are probably the guy

who's the tree itself. I hate the tree. I agree with that take 100%. Iowa lost a Stanford in the Rose Bowl and during halftime when we were losing by 30, the band played the Farmer's Only Song over and over and over again and the tree just sat there and rubbed it all in our faces.

I hate that tree. Everyone hates the tree. He was banned for a while too. Yeah, and then he got in a lot of trouble last year. And their band gets banned? No pun intended. Their band is the worst. Well, I don't know.

It takes a safe band member. We're Stanford. So everything we do is so tongue and cheek, because we're so smart. It was a tree out of here. There was a Texas safe band member that threw a trident at a player. Put it on the pole. Do you hate the Stanford tree? So evidently, Lucy and Jessica are with you on a single mascot.

I don't think anybody here is with you. I think the room works against you generally here. I don't think anyone here is anti-mask. I think NFL-wise, I can see, because they're all talking college. I'm saying NFL-wise, we need to do away with the NFL mascot. And the reason it happened was because on Monday night as we were watching Two trash Monday night football games. I was watching the Eagles and Bucks game and

Loan behold. I don't know what the guy's name is or what the mascot's name is the Buccaneer mascot Kind of like looks into the camera and I'm like this is stupid like we everybody's a grown man here. There's no kids Who gonna bang their head up against the thing? I hate that the name of the mascot is Captain fear captain Everybody's a grown man here. There's no kids. Who's gonna bang their head up against the thing? I hate that. I hate that. The name of the mascot is Captain Fear. Captain Fikit out of here.

Now, it's got a stupid face, it's got hair, like a bead coming out. It's like, we need to be done with this. Now, I do like the idea of just eliminating some things from sports. That's a terrible suggestion for you. I think we should eliminate having former players come back and bang drums before games.

No, that's cool. I like that. How about we just celebrate Chad Henny? I don't need him to hit a drum, okay? You can bring back Chad Henny chiefs, but I don't need him to beat a drum. Few things, one, Purdue Pete, he can go. Beauty wise, that guy is pretty.

Purdue Pete, also, these mascots make so much money. That can't be true. Not the college mascots. Not the college ones. They make nothing, the nuggets mascot make like $650,000 over $600,000 last year. No mascot needs that much. What's a Willie Wildcat? Well, Lucy, I don't I lost you there. They deserve all the money in the world except Purdue Pete and Fri. What's a Willie Wildcat's deal? He is so freaky.

He's having that. He dances with the team sometimes. I've seen those videos. He's a human with a Wildcat head. You know who's got a great live mascot? North Carolina. Big sheep, huge balls. Impossible not to look at, but he's so weird.

I'm sure people have looked into this. They paint the horns Carolina blue, which just makes me feel icky. No, it's fine. I love mascots in general, not my jam, but the sheep. I don't know, she full-sealed a kiss ass. With the horse and the spear, I think he would win in a fight between all mascots.

I miss the day. It's a totally true story when the height of the FSU Miami rivalry was working and at the time the University of Miami had like Russell Maryland Cortez Kennedy were both top first round picks and then their backup was Jimmy Jones who was a second round pick. And they went to Tallahassee and during that celebration of coming to the stadium on a horse and throw a flaming trident into the ground, all of Cortez Kennedy's teammates were holding him back because he had told him he wanted to punch the horse in the face. Like wanted to go out there and do that. And they were actually holding him back. That would

have been a national incident and not not lies as well because none of us could actually harm a horse. I have a 65 pound pit bull shakes his head against the pool table and me and harms me. I cannot hurt that that animal skull. You can't hit a horse and actually harm it can you you can't punch a horse and do and no matter how strong you are and do anything in the way of human damage could you they have a hell of a jaw i'm assuming so you guys are looking at me like this is a strange question terrible experience we're looking to ask for expertise here we're we can google it for you i'm just asking you in your imagination if you imagine there's a famous movie scene from a million years ago. Yeah and yeah you're laughing at me because Jessica's laughing. She's holding

her belly laughing because a blazing saddles reference has been mentioned but that I believe the horse goes down in blazing saddles does it not? But the horse didn't actually get punched you know that right this was before cg i this movie so all they might have had actually punch horse i wonder all the time how they protect the animals in some of these movies and i watched every single or the rings extended edition and like ninety percent of the extra scenes are just explaining how they shot the horse scenes in every single actor whoo they did not shoot the... Chris, no, the horses were all, everyone was okay.

But they filmed a lot of it on like fake horses and all the actors were like, it kind of felt like you were having sex because like the horse would jostle you around and eight-year-old just was like, I don't understand what any of this means, but that's how they shot a lot of it. Dan, horses were all safe. I have a lot of uh, face time with horses, right? Because of my past. But have you ever looked directly into the face of a horse's weird sentence?

Wait, what is your past? I'm not familiar with your past. No, no, no. No, no, no. I need to almost cut the LVDR by a horse. That hadn't been broken by Robert Redford. Correct, exactly. Tony has the same affliction, the same affliction that

afflicks Greg Cody and it's an interesting affliction. He thinks if he has said it here on the show, everyone remembers what it is that he was talking about. So he came in of course, clearly you all know my LD Abelus story. Yeah, no, we said together though, for the audience. We did do that, but I I don't believe that The audience knows that he has a lot of face time with the horses because he met the one Dominican horse Diablo That almost ran him right off a cliff because he was not familiar with what wild horses Real Hispanic wild horses are as opposed to Kendall Like his panic wild horses are as opposed to kendol uh... correct like what the point is why all the obelis on his own right

right is on a pen of his own which obviously was the first bad sign but i i i the horror look i don't know the cliff busted right at the last second i remember this story it not only do i remember not only do i remember the story it is truly horrifying what he's describing the revelation on a horse of i've miscalculated what this horse is gonna have to jump twelve it this horse is going much faster than i expected i don't know how the

breaks work on this thing and it is right i'm much stronger than me it's used to run it i'm yakin the hell out of his reins and nothing's happening. This seems like a lot of fun. Oh no, we're approaching a cliff. It seems a specific kind of horror that you would not forget. But I don't understand whether or not a human being could have any human.

Well, he was getting to that because he, because I looked at the upload right in the face when I was getting on, right? Because you can't go from behind a horse. That's where they kick you and they, it feels like bad parenting by your parents. No, I mean, it was their fault. It was probably the defeat.

If I see a horse in a pen all by himself, I don't know. And it's like, yeah, I'm not going on that horse. Yeah, well, you know, I was a big guy. Tony, can you punch a horse out or not? So here's the thing, you're looking straight into the horse's face. What about a gift horse?

Their jaw muscles are like huge. If you look at a horse, it's disproportionate. It's like a narrow snout, and then their face gets horse? Their jaw muscles are like huge. If you look at a horse, it's disproportionate. It's like a narrow snout and then their face gets huge because their jaw muscles are like that. So I think they get to get punched. But it's also about like distracting the horse. If I'm having a conversation with the horse and he doesn't see it coming, then you can clock him. I think it's all about just distracting. If they see it coming, then they're like they brace for it. You can't do anything. So I could be over here like, Hey, horse, come here man. You got a sucker pun.

It has to be depends on the side. And Bob, just catch them. Maybe from behind you, see these terrible videos on the internet. I'm from behind. Now we get rid of mascots. What are we gonna do? I'm Mrs. Matt.

You cannot, she's allowed to stay. You cannot stand behind a horse. I didn't thankfully learn that the hard way, but there was one time in my life when I was working with horses for the handicap, when I was doing community work, when I was younger, that I walked into a place not knowing that. the internet is covered with video of people who did not know to not stand behind a horse because of how awful a horse kicks and the amount of damage being done. I still though, Tony, don't know a lot of human beings who are anti-maskot, although Jessica's rage directed at Stanford's tree was unreasonable, but I think that has more to do with Stanford in general than it does with the tree. You should keep an eye on Stanford.

All right, a lot of weird people, weird fraudulent schemes coming out of Stanford lately. Keep an eye on those people in Palo Alto. You can't get rid of mascots because occasionally, they'll just do hilarious things even unintentionally. We had a great moment with a mascot in the Oregon Colorado game. We're ahead just flew off as the duck was smashing a clock that said prime on it.

Get it? Primetime. It was incredible video. Let's run that right now. See, the duck is wearing a hat because coach prime is going to wear a cowboy hat and he takes a hammer and he's beating this cardboard box and the head falls off. He panics and he runs back. That's hilarious.

I feel like he cleaned it up, no one saw. If you have not seen this video, it's a clock because it's prime time. And if you didn't get the joke that it's a clock, they've written prime on it. And he comes up, let's show this again. So people can see the sheer degree of shame this mascot has. When it runs the way a scared dog that's being punished for something runs away with its head down because his sword is broken, the clock is not broken, but he has lost his head.

The best part is that he stays low thinking that that will help him not be seen. The more the more efficient move is to pick your head back up, but he simply leaves it behind. And that's awesome. You got to put your head inside the clothes and act like you've been decapitated as well. I'm back in on mascots of that's the case. What is funny about this is in giant padded feet that duck that duck runs 40 steps when he could have just picked up his mascot head and put it back on you can't do that you can't you because that's also lost time that's more time that your ex-hosts were gonna head he runs somebody grab the head yeah somebody does grab the head it's a great job by the per well that's a hat yeah well

that the hat is attached to the head he's's running into the locker room as if he's trying to enter a helicopter Never let go of the bat either That's the bad assort. Whatever it is, he's still in his left hand and could have impaled someone why because he wasn't looking up as he ran He was so ashamed he wasn't looking up as he ran. He was so ashamed.