The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz - Hour 1: Reacting To Mack Brown's Firing And Weight Loss (feat. Steve Hely)

Episode Date: November 26, 2024

Greg Cote takes a Victory Lap after being very, very right about the Houston Texans, but it leads to a debate over Greg's weight and whether or not Dan could pick him up. Then, Mack Brown has been fir...ed by the North Carolina Tar Heels, but instead of focusing on the details of his tenure at Carolina, we're back to weight talk. Whatcha think for ol' Mack Brown? 210? 220? More? Less? Does he weigh himself at Publix? Plus, Steve Hely is an author and comedy writer who wrote the book "How I Became a Famous Novelist," and he's here to give Stugotz a Top 5 Ways To Game The System And Land On The New York Times Best Seller List. Also, Urban Meyer doesn't seem to remember anyone. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Starting point is 00:00:00 You're listening to Giraffe King's Network. At Fizz, you always get more for your money. Terms and conditions for our different programs and policies apply. Details at Fizz.ca. McPops from McCafe are a new sweet treat available in three delicious flavors. Berry, white chocolate, and hazelnut and cocoa. Perfect to add onto a small $1 plus tax premium roast coffee. It's a match made by McCafe. At participating McDonald's restaurants, prices exclude delivery. This is the Dan Leventor Show with the Stugatz Podcast.
Starting point is 00:00:53 Today's episode is sponsored by DraftKings. Stay tuned because you'll hear more about DraftKings and all it has to offer throughout the show. DraftKings, the crown is yours. I would urge the audience here on this day of magnificent self-promotion beyond making Stugatz's personal record book even more a success than it already is. The Greg Cody Show featuring Greg Cody is a podcast that is climbing high on the list of podcasts in sports because it's a relationship show where Chris is too hard on his old man, and his old man is lovable beyond all reason. Greg Cody, go outside and reward yourself with a sponsored drum solo we're about to do with you. You are the winner of today's Victory Lap,
Starting point is 00:01:35 brought to you by Peloton. You get to go into the other room and tell us how right you were about something and exercise your right to be right. So get to the victory lap room, there you go. Greg's prize is exercising. Exercising and a drum solo. The floor is his on something that he was right about.
Starting point is 00:01:54 He gets to do a victory lap and gets the entire show. It's a giant platform, Stu got. So much as you've used it to get a best seller today, he gets a drum solo on a giant platform where he gets to tell the world how right he was. And he gets to use the Peloton app which is great. Oh god I wish if I could go out if I could get punished and have to go out there instead of the penalty box I get to do like a five-minute core class every day. A dream. I'd misbehave. I'm all for you
Starting point is 00:02:19 doing takes while doing a five-minute core class if you wish to do that. I tried one time when I was doing Guillermo-ton to do a, what is it, on Twitter Live, what's it called, Twitter Spaces or something like that? I tried to do one of those on one of my initial Guillermo-tons where I was talking to everybody that joined and was doing the class. I'm like, hey, join Twitter Spaces, we'll just talk through this class together, right?
Starting point is 00:02:44 And I don't know how the trainers do it on Peloton, to be honest. It's very hard to talk while you're doing it. Thankfully, and this is gonna sound weird, thankfully, I had someone bail me out and join the Twitter Spaces and just have a conversation with me. And granted, it was a selfish move on his part because it benefited him, but it was Mark Feldman. So me and Mark Feldman hosted a Peloton ride together one time because I couldn't talk while I was Mark Feldman. So me and Mark Feldman hosted a Peloton ride together one time because I couldn't talk while I was doing exercise. So no thank you on the whole host of class.
Starting point is 00:03:11 Feldman in sales, is he another one of these Feldman in sales people who wants to be on air and wants to be a star, wants to get in the middle? Unknown, but I could see him. Yeah, he seems to be that kind of guy. Yeah, once he gets the taste. Right. Yeah. Got all the accounts that kind of guy. Yeah, once he gets the taste. Right. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:03:26 Got all he counts, I mean, it's all himself. Bit of a ham, reminds me a lot of Stugats. That's not a compliment. The sales Stugats. Thanks. Stugats from another time. Is Greg Cody in position back there? Before we get to Greg Cody's victory lap though,
Starting point is 00:03:40 I want him to work up a lather. I keep telling him it's funny because you're winded. He's already doing it and I don't know how much longer we have. All right. No just cows chasing in general you're saying Before we get to the last moments of Greg Cody's life Let's play the useless sound montage and get him get him into position here because I need him a little bit winded a little bit tired when we go out to his because I need him a little bit winded, a little bit tired when we go out to his victory lap sponsored by Peloton. Useless sound montage, please.
Starting point is 00:04:08 All right, I thought we were going to another bit, so we are just, all right, and here it is, the useless sound montage. Amazing. Yeah. Hey. Hey. Hey.
Starting point is 00:04:17 Hey. Hey. Hey. I love my brother, and I'd lay down my life for my brother, but I would not let him win a football game. Once those guys cross the white lines, there's nothing I can do for them.
Starting point is 00:04:28 There's nothing any coach can do for them once they cross the white line. It was a hard fought game. They made more plays over the course of 60 minutes than we did. I wear sweatpants every day. One play at a time, one play at a time, and that is so important.
Starting point is 00:04:40 And we exemplified that. That it's one play at a time. We stick together, we fight for each other, and we found a way. You know, current Vegas they came out and had some fire about them but they lost. Had to overcome a lot in all three phases you know it was a back-and-forth game. That's what these games are on the road in the division. That's a really good football team and I thought that our guys did a good job of not flinching and keeping the blinders out. I haven't done a 23 and me but I don't know. Had a good job of not flinching and keeping the blinders out. I haven't done a 23 in me, but I don't know.
Starting point is 00:05:05 Had a good week of practice, did a lot of work and obviously it didn't show. So no excuses. Finally he set us back and kind of put us behind the eight ball. We just can't do that in this league. I thought he played his tail off, man. He throws a really good football. It's funny, I think Texas Tech was the first one to offer him when he was in eighth grade. We fought all the way to the end, and that's definitely encouraging.
Starting point is 00:05:27 You don't want to be around people that are quitting. Defense, special teams, everybody, we had our moments of adversity, and we were able to come through when it mattered. So it was a complete team win, very resilient from our guys, but you just never lost that edge, we never lost the faith on the sideline, and always kind of figured we were going to find a way way to win and that's just what marks a good team. If you can win on the road, you're normally a pretty damn good team and we can win on the road. We just got to operate better. I have to do a better job.
Starting point is 00:05:55 I think he continues to improve and gets better and better and it seems like every week. And I think it all starts with his approach and the guy loves football and he will compete and he does it every day. There's humbling nights like this in football it's all about how you respond I do know that this team has the capability to be able to respond and we'll get ourselves off off the mat and and we'll have a good week of preparation this week. I figured you guys would be nicer to me if my daughter was here. We had to beat the pressure and you know a year ago we don't win that game and so you know it wasn't our best but it was good enough. I thought he played well obviously took care of the football but
Starting point is 00:06:33 I thought he battled like crazy throughout the whole game. It was a whole paradigm shift like we were playing so well offensively and then bang bang back-to-back drives with turnovers I'm just like oh my gosh like this is really an NFL's film moment. The snow starts pouring down. It starts getting like, I felt like my feet started getting heavy because I'm squishing through the snow. And man, it was so good.
Starting point is 00:06:56 And it was so great to end up getting that win. Look at the smile that just sweeps across my grinds face. His dead Browns fandom, his killed by D'Shaun Watson. Jamis Winston brings Mike back to life. Can't help but smile when Jamis Winston is talking. Greg Cody is now joining us from the Peloton sponsored Victory Lap Room.
Starting point is 00:07:20 Greg Cody, give us an update on everything that's going and what it is that you're celebrating that you got right most recently. Yeah, I'm working out with Peloton right now. I'm somehow in the middle of all these cattle. I gotta move a little quicker. I don't know what's going on here, but Peloton helps me. And I tell you what, I'm taking a victory lap
Starting point is 00:07:43 for saying that the Houston Texans are very very very very very far from being a great team. I tell you what nobody's been righter than me. CJ Stroud little bit of a sophomore slump. Team starts five and one. Everybody says you're the IT team. You're the new Detroit. Then they go two and four.
Starting point is 00:08:01 Take a big giant crap. Look I was right. I hate to brag. Well, these cattle, they're catching up with me. I gotta move. No! I'm back to the moo, John. No, okay.
Starting point is 00:08:15 Okay. What? What? All right, listen. I'm gonna take you guys behind the scenes here because Chris Cody saw it. Listen, listen. I'm gonna take you behind behind the scenes here because Chris Cody saw it. Listen, listen. I'm gonna take you behind the scenes.
Starting point is 00:08:28 Keep moving. Move. Listen, look, I stirred your father. Your father fell asleep like 30 minutes ago. He was staring at his numbers on his podcast. Help. And Chris Cody comes into the room and both of us jostle him to life.
Starting point is 00:08:47 Hey, this is a sponsored segment. We need your effort here. We need you to pay attention. So he was just totally self-involved. Like we were interrupting him. He was just thinking about himself. Hey, we're doing a show. We need you to go in there and give us your best stuff.
Starting point is 00:09:02 And that's what he gave us. That, after the motivational speech by me and his son, what he gave us is two I gotta move it jokes. And know that kind of things. That's the only upset though. And that victory lap is presented by Peloton. Find your push, find your power with Peloton. I don't know enough about football
Starting point is 00:09:23 because it's on my screen right now has CJ Stroud regressed. He has, yeah. I I don't know enough about football because it's on my screen right now has CJ Stroud regressed. He has. I just don't know enough about football to tell you, hey, all those guys sacking you all the time. That going to change the rhythms of how you do your job? The fact that everyone keeps sacking you at what
Starting point is 00:09:36 appears to be like a record pace. Will that affect how good you are in year two? Because it seems like it would. Anybody want to analyze that or is he just regressed? He just forgot how to play football. Yeah? I think the thing that's concerning for CJ Stroud are the interceptions. Do you see what they're doing for a living? Yeah. These giant people are coming and harassing him. They are bothering him. It's hard to play the position.
Starting point is 00:09:57 Not many people can do it well. I'm asking the question. I legitimately, because the Texans are in and out of the red zone, I'm legitimately asking the question I don't know it is possible that people are studying the Texans a lot more than me and they will tell you yes CJ Stroud regressed I say is it tied to the fact that he keeps getting sacked because it seems like that would make anybody Regress, but when you start your career as a rookie and your 23 touchdowns at five interceptions And you're making the game look relatively easy Dan. That's the bar He set for himself and now he has nine interceptions through half the season. Last year he had five total.
Starting point is 00:10:31 So you want to say it's the offensive line, people sacking him. The excuse three weeks ago was Nico Collins was hurt, Nico Collins is back. He could be holding the ball too long. That could be it too. It could be his fault. Yeah. I think the most concerning game for me was one of his better games. It was against Detroit on Sunday night where protection kind of held up and some of his
Starting point is 00:10:48 interceptions were essentially the DBs baiting him into throwing these interceptions where for whatever reason he doesn't put that much zip on it and he relies more on touch. Greg, you're breathing pretty heavily. Are you all right? You know, the Peloton workout is working for me. I'm telling you what, you know, it really they got me going and I needed to with those cattle. I don't know where those came from but I'm lucky to be alive. Yeah it's a fair question. It's a fair question to ask if he's regressed. Now it could be true, like he could have regressed a little bit and the great ones figure it out after the NFL kind of figures you out. I love... CJ needs to move around the pocket a little
Starting point is 00:11:30 bit more you know that's what he needs to do. Bulldoze do that joke now. Nailed it. You okay? Your father before the show Chris. I always work out in a necktie and a button-down shirt. Necktie? That kind of thing. I took it out in a necktie and a button down shirt. So. Ha ha ha ha ha ha. Necktie? That kind of thing. Where's that? I took it off because I was getting so winded. Yeah, that's right, yeah.
Starting point is 00:11:51 You were not wearing a necktie today. I thought I was. I was wearing my invisible necktie. Oh, that one. Wow. Can I forget? Bolo? Zagack.
Starting point is 00:11:59 Ha ha ha ha ha. This is his A material. This is after me and his son stirred him to life, stopped, you know, he was counting his clicks, and we stirred him to life and said, look, Greg, we really need you right now. We need you to bring it, the team needs you, and this is what he's giving us, this invisible necktie.
Starting point is 00:12:16 I think this is what they call the runner's high, Dan. It is, Billy gets it. Thank you. All right, so I wanna talk about this, because I don't think that he was afflicted with the runner's high in the conversation that I had with him before the show. This is something I have done. In many ways, I've become my father.
Starting point is 00:12:32 You will see Chris Cody become his father. And throughout my childhood, I saw my father sort of get in a wrestling posture stance with my grandfather and his brothers, and that's what I saw like these people were 80 years old and my father would jostle them and grab their elbows so when I see Greg Cody because I'm doing things that my father does I squared off against him when I saw him this morning by way of hello like uh in a grappling and a Greco-Roman style uh grappling stance and what he said to me and i believe him thick from twelve beers a day for many years he says
Starting point is 00:13:09 i'm stronger than you think i am i'm tough to get off my feet that if you and i were actually wrestling he's saying that i couldn't get him off his feet great foundation idea will sturdy sturdy again from the miller light thickness just uh thickness just just he has been Sustaining himself with a diet of Miller light for a long time and now he's just strong. He is uncommonly strong I don't think that he has any stamina though. I You're not you don't Oh Chris Cody says you're not strong Chris Cody disputes what that sound was the sound of dispute
Starting point is 00:13:43 I mean Wow, I mean you're 70 years old like strong for my age that's right with that caveat I don't know I don't know the strength I got a tough foundation I'm tough you know I'm difficult to move okay okay that's for that was good but you need the first three to make that one work! Like, you gotta fall in the ditch three straight times for the fourth one to work! So close to a Goldenson Brow there. Hahaha! Sigh...
Starting point is 00:14:16 You alright? Yeah. I believe he's strong. I believe your father is a strong person. I'm not gonna say for any age, but I would say that is a hard to get off his feet do you think i could get him off of his feet if you'll if you lifted me right on the side of the key allow me to until i tired you out by making you do the peloton re by and i'm not certain dan
Starting point is 00:14:37 could lift you to be on i am here for you to wrestle re-enable ended up here but i was only one way to find out i guess i i i i have plenty of room back there i agree i agree that's what I was thinking of like Do you think that I could get him off of his feet? This is not one of those Christopher can it's not one of those Billy Gill fires that you start man There was context you missed it. I don't think there's gonna be any coming back from that Do you guys think Dan could lift Greg off the ground? Yes? With that answer I don't need to play it out.
Starting point is 00:15:05 Guys, he's wilting away. He's like, what are you, like 180 pounds? What does that mean? Why do you say that? He said that on my podcast the other day, and I'm like, wilting away? I've gained seven pounds in the last year. I wish I were wilting more than I am, for crying out loud.
Starting point is 00:15:21 No, I'm wilting away. What do you mean when you say wilting away? I think since the whole asthma thing, you've lost a good 30 pounds the last three or four years. That's absolutely not true. I absolutely wish it were. You know, I'm flirting with two. You were well over two, like in my 20s.
Starting point is 00:15:37 I don't think so, no. I, again, I... This is an odd argument. What are we arguing here, exactly? That he's wilting. Well, Greg is saying he's getting fatter, and Chris is saying he's losing weight. And when did it become a bad thing to be wilt?
Starting point is 00:15:49 Wilt Chamberlain. I'm wilting like Wilt, that's right. No, I... What are you doing? The stilt? Exactly. No, I, you know what? I'll take a weigh-in.
Starting point is 00:15:58 People should have to do weigh-ins in everyday life, you know? If I don't make weight, I'm not allowed to do the show this week. How? Okay. That kind of thing. Right.
Starting point is 00:16:10 But you still get paid. Oh, that kind of thing, thank you. Now that you've explained it that way, with that elaboration, yes, once you give us that kind of thing, now we all understood. Why should we be doing weight-ins in an event that's invisible next time?
Starting point is 00:16:21 Let's hear him out. Because it would encourage me, like I happen to be right around 200 pounds right so when I get on my beautiful new digital scale you know I hold my breath is again is a number gonna start with a two is it gonna start with a one you know. I thought that helped holding your breath. Do you trust the digital scale? I do. I kind of picture you as a guy that's like you know what I'll check it at Publix. No it weighs me down to two-tenths of a pound. Wow. And so I trust it because it's it's that specific. So when I get on the scale and it says 199.4. Hmm. Yeah! You round down. It's big.
Starting point is 00:16:58 Yeah. But when I get on the scale and it says 201.2 it's like you know now I'll have five Miller lights tonight No, the whole Miller light thing is a joke. I do love Miller light. I'm gonna tell you I don't know who the beer sponsor is of this show, but it should be Miller light Trying to show that he loves it regardless that he loves it regardless. I do love it. He's saying he's on chat. I really do not know that Miller Lite's been a legacy partner of ours for 15 years. No, I had no idea.
Starting point is 00:17:27 That tells you my endorsement is legit. We stumbled into it. It's an authentic endorsement from a journalist who is not paid for his endorsement. Wow, Mike, you brought up the public scale. That is something I sprint past every single time because that is the most accurate scale on the planet. Tell us too much truth. My daughter's, I don't want it.
Starting point is 00:17:44 I want nothing to do with that scale. I think that that's the best truth teller in all of South Florida. The most honest thing we have in South Florida, and it scares me. I do the same thing. I walk right past, I'll walk. I don't even look at it.
Starting point is 00:17:54 I'll wobble right past it. No, you tell too much truth. My daughter, my six year old, is always like, Daddy, let's go do it. I'm like, no, get away from that thing. I'd love to ask somebody at Publix corporate like why they've kept those things, because you would have assumed that would have been
Starting point is 00:18:04 something that had fallen by the way hard to move they're giant it's a really inefficient scale. That can't be the reason why they still have a part to move. Publix is like you know how long they move. They routinely switch things in aisles all the time. That's gotta be the heaviest thing in Publix. You tell me there's a heavier thing in Publix to move. Give me one thing in Publix heavier than that damn inefficient scale that's been haunting me since my childhood. That thing's been chasing me around South Florida since the 1970s. I was a fat kid. I worked at Publix. I was a bad boy. That thing haunted me. I was more scared of it than the managers.
Starting point is 00:18:39 I was 35 years old. Greg, how do you weigh yourself and your digital scale? You take off your clothes, like underwear, socks, what are we doing? I'm normally in my boxer shorts. That's a problem with the public scale. I can't strip down. Oh yeah, you could shed some weight. Get arrested. That'd be a bit of a scene. But you know what I do in public? The visual. I'm curious if anybody else does this. If somebody's getting on the scale, I have to see how much they weigh. What? Trade I do with you. I'm with you. I'm with you at the court my peripheral I'm like, that's why I won't get on it's the truth telling them keep quiet about the truth Their amount of sizing up and I'm like, oh really it's so big. It's so easy to read
Starting point is 00:19:20 I mean, I know and everybody wants to know I'm watching a woman get on the scale. I'm like scale I'm like alright she's gonna be 138. Oh wow. I'm curious how much she actually weighs. Over-unders of your business. Not in a judgy way though. Well that depends. Yeah it does depend. I can be a little judgy. Why do you think I've avoided that thing? It's not numbers. All it spells out for me is the word shame and everyone can see it. Everyone can hear it. The truth-telling green machine that can't be moved out of public is shouting to everyone within distance, hey fat guy making me groan under his weight. I'm like that on any scale. When I get on the scale at the doctor's office every time
Starting point is 00:20:05 I go, you know, my standard joke is these shoes weigh 20 pounds each. Because I want them to realize that I'm fully clothed and wearing heavy shoes. You know, take off 10, 15 pounds, you know. The doctors judge a lot, they do. Yeah, I don't like it. No, I don't either. Leave me alone. Yeah, exactly. Like, act. Right. I mean, I'm going don't like it. No, I don't know. Leave me alone. Yeah Mm-hmm like act. All right. I mean I'm going there to get fixed
Starting point is 00:20:27 Mac Brown is out at North Carolina. Wow formed his team. He was apparently given the option a step down I'll fire you he's going with the the fire route. So Mac Brown has left, North Carolina or been Unceremoniously canned we'll figure it out, but a nice job has opened up. A nice job has opened up that should have gotten him fired when he gave up 52 at the half at home to James Madison. Like right there on the spot. He tried to quit though. He quit, yeah, after like week two he quit,
Starting point is 00:20:56 he's like, yeah, I'm done, and they're like, no, Mac, no, I know how it works. That's part of the Mac Brown life cycle. I'll quit. No, actually, thought about it, don't wanna quit, you're gonna have to fire me. This has to be the final job though for Mac Brown life cycle. I'll quit. No, actually thought about it. Don't want to quit. You're going to have to fire me. This has to be the final job though for Mac Brown, right? Careful with that.
Starting point is 00:21:10 Always be careful. I've just said Danny's 73 years old. Always be careful with that. Yes. Always be careful with that. Okay. Howdy folks, it's Mike making this podcast time, Miller time.
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Starting point is 00:24:18 See sportsbook.draftkings.com slash promos for additional terms and responsible gaming resources. Don Lebertard. Yeah, very nice. Imagine if someone told you you couldn't have a Corvette. Stugats! I'm a grown-ass man who's not filthy rich. I can't afford a Lamborghini. Well, I probably can, but that's beside the point.
Starting point is 00:24:35 Hey! Wow! Wow! Cake Flags! Cake Flags! This is the Don Lebatard Show with the Stugatz. Stugatz's book is climbing up the charts. He is counting all of his sales throughout the show. He's a little distracted.
Starting point is 00:24:57 You will forgive him. Why am I being careful with Mac Brown? I mean, I, uh, I'm because I'm just telling you that Mac Brown saying that that's his last job I would have said that maybe a couple of jobs ago what's he way Mac Brown any idea that's a good question we are being joined it fluctuates I'm gonna say to 10 he's got it 220 what's his height what's his height give me his height is he wilting no hit I mean it has been living the good life for a long time and Mac Brown's got a pretty substantive, I recognize the belly of success, I recognize it.
Starting point is 00:25:30 He's 5'11", let's play the guessing game that Greg likes to play. How much do you guys think Mac Brown wins? No, you would absolutely shame Mac Brown at a public scale, you would. I'm telling you, Mac Brown looks skinny. Mac, Obermann's got this, the late Fred Hickman, I was always jealous of this, his television. They have the face that makes it look skinny, but then they got the pear-shaped bodies where you're like, oh, that person's
Starting point is 00:25:49 a lot heavier than I thought they were. Taylor tells me that he's a bit of a unit. Hmm. Taylor's our North Carolina correspondent, however, I was told at the last Flanagan's outing that this show needs less Taylor, so I could, I can. By the way, retroactively, this is Taylor's scoop. He texted me in the middle of it,
Starting point is 00:26:04 and he's like, I'm hearing things. You told me I couldn't say anything. That's how he talks. I'm hearing things. uh... i'd like to know i i i'd retroactively this is taylor scoop you text me in the middle of these like a mirroring things that's how he talks on your experience uh... mac brown i've seen a substantive billy i don't mean to fetch him and i'm just saying i don't think he's a skinny i think of him as not as a skinny person and because faces getting steve healy's with us now and steve healy's to gots uh... is going to help us get your book on the new york times best seller list on partially the times declined to make anyone available to
Starting point is 00:26:31 explain how any of it works we did pepper them uh... but steve i don't like the mystery around this whole thing i mean i'm just put myself on it well we wait look we've not how we reached out to james patterson john grisham and steven king and they the declined comment or they said no dice And so Steve Healy is what we've settled in on Steve Healy He's gonna help us. He's got he's an Emmy winning writer for Veep the office and Letterman He's appeared in an episode of 30 Rocks. So he knows what funny things are He's the co-creator of a new animated show called common side effects
Starting point is 00:27:03 It's coming to Adult Swim and Max early next year. And he's the author of the award-winning book, How I Became a Famous Novelist. So Steve, thank you for joining us. How would you help Stugatz? He doesn't need very much help. He's sailing up the charts right now as we speak, but what little extra would you give him to goose this thing here? Okay.
Starting point is 00:27:23 First of all, congrats to you, Stugatz. I'm glad to be here. I thought I was coming on as a Mac Brown weight expert, but I guess we can pivot to book. No, that's okay. Do you agree with me that he hides a bit of a gin belly? Yeah, he's one of those guys who like, he looks like he weighs more than he actually does.
Starting point is 00:27:40 I think some of it's just sort of air and air. I have that. Yeah, what do you think he weighs, though, if he had to guess, what do you think he weighs though, if you had to guess? What do you think? 212. That's a good guess. I was going to say 215.
Starting point is 00:27:51 I know, oddly precise, I don't know why. How do we get on this bestseller list and what is the New York Times bestseller list? How does it work? Okay, well that's a great question because they're deliberately strange about it. Nobody really knows. They don't really reveal their methods. They have a long explanation on their website where they say like, you know, they, they pull well established, they say well established vendors as well as emerging ones.
Starting point is 00:28:17 We know that they don't count books that are sold at conventions. So Stu gots, if you're going to like the Stu gots convention or whatever, and selling books across the table, not gonna work. Right. Good. I'll cancel all conventions, but forward. Yeah, no, you got to the problem for you is you got to sell them in actual bookstores. I think that's the only way the times counts. And I think they kind of underweight like Costco and places like that, that move a lot of books, but
Starting point is 00:28:43 wait a minute, wait a minute, what this doesn't account for the modern age. Stu gots isn't that move a lot of books. But wait a minute, wait a minute. This doesn't account for the modern age. Stugats isn't gonna sell a bunch of books because people are walking into bookstores. He's selling them because people do it the new fashioned way. They order it online. They're holding. I mean, they do they do measure online sales, but they sort of favor I think actual bookstores. Now, I don't know a lot about they hide their methods and won't
Starting point is 00:29:05 reveal it so I can't tell you that much insight. You can look at their website and find a bunch of mysterious opaque language. You okay? But I have put together what I think are your top five ways to sell. Before you do that Steve, we have an image up on the on the screen right now. What are you thinking? 240? I'm upping my estimate. Yeah, 315. Whoa, come on. 315. 270. You're just saying numbers.
Starting point is 00:29:30 I think it's 245. He's 511. Look, I don't want to do this anymore. That's true. Put it on the poll at Levitard Show. Is anyone 511? I'm actually 511. No one's 511.
Starting point is 00:29:41 Not at 73. Say you're six feet. Everyone says they're six feet. You're 5s. But you've got a top five list for us. Full proof ways to game the New York Times best seller list. Are we doing the five or are we doing outside looking in or just the five? Let's start with the five. We can do some outside looking in if I can come up with some after. Okay, well no, that's not the way outside looking in works. You're supposed to do those first, but that's fine. Let's just get to the five. Oh, okay. No, number five. Thank you. Your show. Number five I the way outside looking in works. You're supposed to do those first, but that's why we'll just get to the five. Let's say that's it. Oh, okay.
Starting point is 00:30:05 No, number five. Thank you, it's your show. Yeah. Hey, number five, I would say sell copies in bulk. You need to be selling copies to like the StuGots reading club, the StuGots fan group. A lot of conservative authors, they're selling like thousands at a time
Starting point is 00:30:17 to big groups of people, and that moves the needle. I think the Times bestseller was kind of like, tries to devalue that, but that's just a way to move a lot of units. And if you're not selling in bulk, I don't think you have much of a chance. I love move moving units, but you're saying sell in bulk. So if I buy like a thousand for myself, does that count? Or is it one per email address?
Starting point is 00:30:39 That's a great question. People have gotten busted doing that, trying to gain the New York Times. I wouldn't recommend it. They're not so dumb that they're going to fall for that one. All right. But Dan could do it though, right? Again, they're going to be watching that. It's going to be suspicious. It's going to set off the algo. I would say you got to move them one at a time. But look, if you have a mass mailing list you can reach out to, a bunch of people buy them all at once, nothing
Starting point is 00:31:02 wrong with that. But you yourself, they're all given the same address, they're going to be on to that. Okay, good. We've lost Mike Ryan, he's immersed in breaking news, and we've lost him in time. So I found out that Mac Brown told reporters before the season that he lost 35 pounds during the offseason. I don't know if the image that we put up there was from last season or this season. So I'll still work my sources, texting Charlie. The man won a championship in the greatest college football game ever played.
Starting point is 00:31:28 This is how we're remembering the end of his career. Number four. Thank you. You guys are a poem and apology. Okay, number four, be about Donald Trump. The last, like, since 2016, a ton of books on the top side of the list have been about Donald Trump, insider accounts of Donald Trump,
Starting point is 00:31:44 how he ended up with Trump, books about sort of like the rise of fascism that scare everybody. So, haven't read your books, Stu Gots, but I'm hoping that there's a lot about contemporary politics, some insider stuff from Mar-a-Lago. Right now, Melania's on the bestseller list. How are we plugging into that demo? Here's a quote from before the season. I'm feeling the best I have in 20 years. Number three. Okay, B for old people. Like young people are on kick-off.
Starting point is 00:32:12 They're not reading books. If this is for kids, I mean, there is a kids bestseller list. You could go that way. Oh, I like that. Scougots for the kids, illustrated edition. But other than that, you need to be hitting like a 55 year old woman who reads a lot of books in a year And unfortunately for you, I don't think you're exactly positioned for that
Starting point is 00:32:32 Don't hit a 55 year old woman stupid Apparently the photo that we threw up there though was from the James Madison game this season Yeah, that changes everything Wow, so the Second most embarrassing thing that game number two. I would explain why everything's fine. There's a lot of books on the bestseller list that are about why we're in the predicament. We have we are like what's going wrong with society. Don't know if that if you cover that to God. So I don't think this is it is not your channel. This is not shaping up great.
Starting point is 00:33:05 He'll do well with 55-year-old men. You made it 55-year-old women, but it can be 55-year-old men, right? Sadly, women read a lot more than men. I don't know if that'll sound like a shock to you guys, but women are cranking through books and men read like one book a year. So you're on an uphill battle if your target audience is men. Put it on the poll at Levitard Show. Do women read a lot more than men, yes or no? Number one.
Starting point is 00:33:29 Well, you've got to have a murder in there. Is there a murder in the book? Is it true crime on the book? Non-fiction, every book on the fiction list has a murder in it, basically. You're in trouble if you don't have a murder in it. Wow, okay, he's murdering nothing except for ethics and all of publishing. I did murder Kevin Durant's career, I mean, so does that count? Yeah, it should. Yeah, not, it doesn't sound like it. His book is called Common Side Effects, that's
Starting point is 00:33:54 five dollars. It is, I'm sorry, that's not his book, that is the new show he's got coming out, Common Side Effects. It's Adult Swim and Max, early next year. That's five dollars. I corrected myself. Stu Gotz. I mean, you can see what's happened. I pivoted away from being a book writer to TV because there's no money here, man. You're in a tough racket.
Starting point is 00:34:13 Well, you didn't get the Random House guarantee on the front end that Stu Gotz did, sir. That's why we made him an author, just so that he could cash the check. Listen, you need to get to Random House, okay? That is the key, all right? That's the key to writing books to get to Random House. Okay, that is the key All right, that's the key to writing books get to Random House. You got yourself a bestseller. All right, they treated you, right? They're pretty money over there they gave it to me
Starting point is 00:34:34 There you go Sounds illegal Steve. Thank you for being on with us. We appreciate it my pleasure guys Good luck to use two gods and good luck to Mac Brown on this weight loss journey Yeah, I don't love what we did to Mac Brown there. That is an accomplished career, and I did it. It's my fault. But it's just, look, man, I just noticed I too have done the thing where I just put on sweatpants because it's all gotten out of control. And I'm just putting on whatever the school gives me. Whatever the school gives me is my wardrobe because it fits nice and I can just go into work and and I can hide and swim in my clothes and the pandemic got a lot of us and Mac Brown was skinny when he had Vince Young and then when James Madison is scoring
Starting point is 00:35:15 52 by the half in your home stadium at the end of your career. Comfort food I get it, understand how it is one would stress eat as uh... steve just mentioned it and uh... mac brown not only won a championship what championship at a school that when you do
Starting point is 00:35:34 you should be golden forever yet you you become a monster icon because texas things at least in part because they have mac brown they're entitled to be a top the n i l game and on top of the s e c game because they got all the boosters they got all the money that you think texas a m has money nobody's got money like that school and they expect to be at the top of sports
Starting point is 00:35:58 and mack brown at the end got run out his great seasons were great enough and he ends his career in north carolina with us making fun of him because uh... we're talking about the way public scales grown i think it's a terrific job though that just opened up it's always a carolina job it's always going to be a weird one because it's never going to be the most important sports to that school however people have no idea what a revenue generator that school is what great resources they have. Everybody inside the AACC is envious of their situation
Starting point is 00:36:29 because to other conferences they're probably the most appealing program to bring over. So I think some really good coaches should be poking around that job. Mike, in terms of generating revenue you mean the other sports of Carolina. I agree like there are several popular sports of Carolina that aren't popular in other schools plus they have major boosters. Carolina is a massive, massive program but they've never really gone all in on football and if they ever do that's a possible sleeping giant. Guys can you please get me the sound from the Manning cast of Vrabel talking about Urban Meyer not knowing who he was and whatever sound is available to us on Owen Wilson and the stories
Starting point is 00:37:13 being told everywhere about what Urban Meyer doesn't know. The Vrabel thing stunned me. I thought that that was a joke. Like it's one thing I've heard of it like Pukinokua said the other day that he didn't know that the Rams were in the NFC West. I believe that that's something that happens you know pretty frequently among athletes who don't care about didn't grow up caring about the division. But I was shocked to learn that Urban Meyer doesn't remember famous people that he's worked with. Well so the Manning cast is this like a side cast for those who don't know. During Monday Night Football where Peyton Manning, former quarterback, and Eli Manning, former quarterback, also related, not just a coincidence, they come on and
Starting point is 00:37:54 they kind of do like a watch along of Monday Night Football. And during the Manning cast they have famous guests come on. It's usually Bill Belichick and then they'll have like a celebrity of sorts and then they'll have someone else come on. So they had Luke Wilson come on because Luke Wilson can't do anything without Owen Wilson. Owen Wilson came on and he he joined him and they did I guess like a brother thing and they did a movie together and that's all they ever do together. So they came on the Manning cast together because they need to hold hands to do things together. Why are you taking the Wilsons out? I'm not I'm just explaining to people who don't know what the Manning cast is.
Starting point is 00:38:23 Luke Wilson is an actor and Owen Wilson is an actor. Arguably more famous than Luke, but less attractive. You never see one without the other. We asked you to set this up to avoid confession. Well, I'm trying, yeah, so then anyways. I wanna hear more about what the Manning cast is. What's Cinephobe? Let's play the sound of Luke Wilson and Owen Wilson.
Starting point is 00:38:42 Owen Wilson talking about Urban Meyer doesn't know anybody. Coach, you and Coach Meyer. Who are you? How do I know you? I'm on your team. So, Owen Wilson. Coach knows who you are now. I still don't think he did. That's a little like when Larry Bird went to Indiana and was dealing with Bobby Knight.
Starting point is 00:39:08 They just didn't see eye to eye right from the get go. So Owen Wilson was in a celebrity flag football game and his coach was Urban Meyer. And then Urban Meyer, as you could hear, went up to him and he said, hey, how do I know you? And then Owen Wilson said, I'm on your team. Put that up again, please. Mike Ryan, as our chief investigator in matters
Starting point is 00:39:29 of people giving you phony baloney colors in their hairs, Mike Ryan has found a... You can throw up that quad box again from the Manning cast. I think we have an unprecedented four die jobs all on one screen. Yep, I'm ready to call it. From the bottom on down, that is all hair dye. Owen, you see. Oh yeah, definitely Owen. I'm with you on all the other three. I don't see it in Owen. But this is your thing. Owen's hair is darker. That's
Starting point is 00:39:54 not how that works at this age. Yes, this is stunning accusation to make off of this video. He's saying Eli Payton and both Wilson brothers are all dying their hair. Wow Eli's a little young to dry his hair, isn't he? He's the most obvious of the Let's play the sound of Rable though. This one caught me off guard even by the urban Urban Myers a bit of an airhead standard this one caught me off guard You know, I feel I can feel I can relate with Owen Wilson I was listening earlier, you know urban Meyer asked him do I know you and an urban of Myers coaching the Titans He was coaching the Jaguars and he actually said the same thing to me
Starting point is 00:40:32 I said yeah, I'm the head coach for the Titans and I worked for you for two years Are you kidding me that's insane That's insane. That's crazy. That's unbelievable. Wow. Not very well liked this guy, huh? I mean, label wouldn't even tell that story if it hadn't been told first by Owen Wilson.

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