The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz - Hour 1: Refrán Del Dia With Mero

Episode Date: March 20, 2024

The Kid Mero joins the show to audition for the Knicks Correspondent position. The crew tries to call him out on his Knick fan delusions as he claims the Knicks are capable of beating the Celtics. Then, Tony pops into the studio to follow up on his Top 5 list from yesterday with Mero, who tries to guess which terms older Cuban ladies call Tony. Plus, Refrán Del Dia is back as Tony and Mero break down today's refrán. Also, Mike Ryan's frustrations with the Miami Heat are boiling over and it leads to him delivering an ultimatum. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Yep, McCafe just shouts... ...order your McCafe on the app or in restaurant today. Mmm, must be McCafe. Add participating McDonald's in Canada. App download and registration required. This is the Don LeBattor Show with the StuGuts Podcast. What's up, you maniacs? Oh look, he's here to start shit.

He, the Kid Merrow. Yes, yes, it's, please. Yeah, let's do it now. Let's just start because, because it needs to be Nick's heat in the playoffs. It needs to get there. And what do you, Mike, what's the matter with you? You already making faces of disgust back there?

No, no, no, like a couple. Yeah, yeah, yeah, you all make faces of disgust, Mike. I heard you, we heard you last playoffs, Mike. I was,, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,! It's been here, now! It was 24, no, the face that I was making wasn't the typical Knicks fan disgust

that I usually have wash upon my face. It's just the last two weeks of Terry Rozier being healthy have washed upon my face. And now I actually don't even have that much confidence that he can make the playoff. Okay, the heat of not one against a big 500 team other than the Pistons in a while. Since Terry Rozier came back.

Okay, and the kid Mero here. Knicks fans frighten me for this reason. I mean, they're loud and obnoxious under all circumstances. They've been in pain for a long time, but man, they love Brunson and they've got so much hope. I think this is the most hopeful Knicks team I've seen this century. And Mero does a podcast with Mero

does a podcast with Carmelo and he might agree with what I'm saying but I'm now having arguments on reasonable arguments I will not be subscribing with Sam Morrill don't be a hater Mike's up get them numbers up I do have a Dominican grandma so she'll make me Grandma so she'll make me Mara wants to be a Knicks correspondent for a show I want him to be a Knicks correspondent for our show Sam Morrill wants to be our Knicks correspondent, but this is where the delusion resides Morrill sitting here saying the Knicks can beat the Celtics and I'm like absolutely what no Absolutely, come on can beat the Celtics. And I'm like, what? Absolutely. Absolutely.

Come on. Why can't they? Yeah, what are you talking about? Why can't they? Exactly. Thank you. Why can't they? Yo, listen, I have a lot of experience

with Chris Stapp's poor zingers. You know what I mean? He has the durability of a hymen. Like, he's not built for this, bro. He's not built for this. He's not built for this. He's not built for a deep playoff run. And's what boston's trying to hang that hat on derrick white he finally cut his hair off but it doesn't matter bro doesn't matter the only person out there which with with with the

tenacity to make it through a deep playoff run is al horford my man my man we're all scared about Horford. You're scared of me. That's right. I can't believe that we're weeks out here and you're going to be insufferable, right? Because you know it. Come on, Dan. Come on, Dan.

You know. Like Drake said, you know what it was when you signed up. Come on. I've been doing this for way too long. I have suffered I used to I used to y'all know I used to tweet the Knicks covered so they won they used to be like my solace I don't have to do that anymore. Now. I tweet the Knicks covered and they won You know I'm saying like so I don't want to hear nothing about nothing also You know what I'm saying? Like, so I don't want to hear nothing about nothing. Also, the Heat Mix series last time was very chippy.

You know what I mean? And we were, you know what I mean? It was, it was, I want to see that again. Just to send Jimmy home and say, yo, you started the season emo, you ending the season emo, my guy. You know what I mean? Terry Rozier, you look like you smoke menthols, bro, at halftime. Something's going on over there, man.

There's something in the water, bro. Heat culture is corroding. Menthol. When's the last time that you hoped like this? Because you guys can be delusional, and the last 10 years of Knicks teams have had a lot of hope and not a lot of this kind of loud. That's true, but the difference is that,

I feel like, well, I'll say this. You mentioned very astutely that I do a web series called 7PM in Brooklyn with the Carmelo Anthony, you know what I'm saying, Knicks legend. And the last time I was this hopeful for the Knicks was when it was the Heedles, 2012, 2013, and Carmelo, Tyson Chandler, J.R. Smith, scoring champ, defensive player of the year,

six-man of the year, respectively, beat the Heat three out of four games in the season, and then Roy Hibbert decides to play like Shaq for 48 hours, you know what I'm saying? And that went to shit. But now there's real hope because it's not just the starting five that is like, that there's hope in, you know what I mean?

This team is deep. This team is deep, bro. And when Julius comes back, when OG comes back 100%, we are going to be a problem. There's nobody in the East that is with us. I'll say it with my whole chest. No, not your whole chest. It needs to be a nipple.

Not the whole chest, a single nipple. My big pepperoni nipples. No, no. My big Hershey Kiss whole chest. No, not your whole chest. It needs to be a nipple. Not the whole chest. A single nipple. My big pepperoni nipples. No, no. My big Hershey Kiss nipples. Both of them. You can't say that with Can we go half the chest until they do something in the postseason?

You can't say your whole chest at Boston. You guys, you guys. I would say three quarters of my chest. Thank you. I appreciate it. Three quarters of my chest. I feel better now. Thank you.

I mean, because it's too much. You guys can't. Like, you've got gotta be careful with this. For 20 years of bluster, and you remember that season of Great Hope. Did you win a playoff game? Did you win one and confetti fell at 3-0? Is that what happened?

Confetti fell. That's what happened, that's what happened. You celebrated that like you won the championship. Well, we made the playoffs. No, but you went from 3-0 down to 3-1, and confetti fell on the floor in Madison Square Garden. It's been a lot of pain and suffering, dog. I have watched the Knicks put Marty Collins and Jackie Butler

on the floor, dog. You know what I'm saying? I watched Alexey Shved play NBA basketball. OK? All right? So listen, don't come at me now because I'm enjoying the fruits of all these years of toiling as the Knicks fan, dawg.

Let me enjoy this, you know what I'm saying? Let me get my Knicks cold water, you know what I'm saying? I will tell the audience again, 7 p.m. in Brooklyn, you should support it. It's fun and interesting, and it's gotta be a little bit of a dream project for the kid marrow because of how he loves the next and because of who he's sitting next to prodding him to be more interesting and this is no knock on carmelo but there

were things he had to be careful about when he was a player in the league and it requires a host with grace to got so we'll tell you this i but just as i'm could have said that to anybody judge chism what he said but he chose uh... he was with a couple of black guys not often interviewed by black guys and so judge chism was maximum relaxed in being maximum honest clearly mellow trust you and you are an exceptional host

and this is it's fun to watch you are uh... emerging from a difficult time for you guys because uh... what that breakup publicly privately had to hurt because you guys were on a different track to uh... comedy duo that was going to make a lot of money at the perfect time and only and the stuff that happened to hollywood and you guys was painful to watch from afar so i'm happy to see you doing this with Mellow and a project that gives you joy and chemistry where you're working again like you did

when you were having the most fun. Do you see it on my face, Dan? Do you see the joy? You know what I'm saying? I don't even use the Just For Men anymore. I'd let the grays pop off. You know what I mean? I'm in my anxiety era.

I feel great. You know what I'm saying? I'm rejuvenated. I'm taking multivitamins every day. You know what I'm saying? I'm out here, man. I'm just doing it. I'm blessed. You know what I'm saying? I'm rejuvenated. I'm taking multiple vitamins every day. You know what I'm saying? I'm out here, man. I'm just doing it. I'm just I'm blessed. You know what I mean? And what is this is Jalen Brunson? Like would you dare tell

Carmelo that Jalen Brunson is someone you now love more than you loved him at the maximum loving of Mello? I'll say this. I love Jalen Brunson, but I love Mello more and this is why. Because when Mello was here, he just, it was, it felt like we weren't really building. You know what I'm saying? It felt like we were just getting guys, and things were coming and going, and things were happening.

It didn't feel like we were building to something. You know what I mean? Like, it felt like Mello was the Knicks. You know what I mean? Like, it felt like Mello was the Knicks. You know what I mean? Like, now Jalen Brunson is the Knicks, so to speak, but it's not, it's a team. You know what I mean? It's OG, it's Jalen, it's Ju, it's,

you know what I mean? It's everybody on the team, so it's not just, yo, Mello, you know what I mean? That's why I love Mello, because Mello put that whole, it was like a Pat Ewing thing, where it's just like, bro, who's your other guy? You know what I mean?

No shots at Amari, I love Amari, but like he never turned out to be that guy. So that's why I have no respect for Carmelo. And I love Jalen, but you know what I'm saying? Mello and I are the same age, you know what I'm saying? It's a generation, too. Like, you know what I mean? Jalen is a young buck.

Mello was the team because we traded the entire team to get Carmelo Anthony. I mean. Everybody says that, but I'm like, you want Danilo Gallinari right now? Where is he right now? He's playing in Russia with a faux hawk. Like, what are we talking about here?

Wilson Chandler, we traded Wilson Chandler and like a couple of guys, and who and what happened? So what I ask Knicks fans is this, and I ask y'all this because they are very astute sports reporters. What would the Knicks have done adding Carmelo Antony to Galanari, Chandler and what they had before they got rid of those guys from Elk? Hey, it would have been a live jam, bro.

Come on, dog. We know the Knicks were dysfunctional as hell. The most important piece that they got wasn't Jalen Brunson. It wasn't you know what I mean? It wasn't OG. It wasn't any of these guys. It was World Wide West. All right. Listen, if you're gonna be the Knicks correspondent for this show I'm going to need you he's doing great okay but I'm gonna need you to have at least a morsel of credibility as you spew all of this mellow propaganda all over the place you have you have to be a little

bit objective here I don't have to criticize Mello, but it can't be fawning praise for Mello that I'm not sure I totally believe because, because I think- You just claimed they won that trade. I think that Jalen Brunson excites you so very much right now. You're so hopeful at how he plays and because he's got a better team around him,

playing like a team in support of him, I believe that you're lying publicly in your first appearance as nicks correspondent for a lot because i think i was because you work with carmelo anthony i believe your excitement for jaylen brunson in private moments you would admit feels more hopeful than the best of what you hope for with mellow are you kids me a pandering yes and being bought i am being bought and paid for he's accusing you of it i? Yes, and being bought, being bought and paid for. He's accusing you of it. I'm proud of you for doing it. It's a great business deal. I'll tell the people again,

7 p.m. in Brooklyn is clearly climbing up the charts because he's chosen the right partnership. But, but you're not being objective here or honest when you say that Jalen Brunson doesn't have you feel. If you're telling me you can beat the doesn't have you feel if you're telling me you can beat the Celtics right now if you're telling me yes it's because you believe in Jalen Brunson more than you ever did in mellow I believe in the Knicks and this is the thing day this is a very important part to this is what we're leaving out mellow played small forward Jalen Brunson is a

guard if you have a good point guard if you have a good point guard, if you have a good floor general, that's like having a good quarterback. You know what I mean? Like who's the last ass quarterback that went to Super Bowl? Trent Dilfer? You know what I'm saying? Nick Foles. Payne Manning.

Payne Manning. Payne Manning. Payne Manning. He was. He was. He was. He was ass. He was ass.

Super Bowl 50. Terrible. Nine touchdowns, 17 interceptions. Ass. It was ass quarterback. Zuda. Zuda. Might be the greatest quarterback to ever win a Super Bowl and the worst simultaneously. And the worst at the same time. We need your help with something.

I do want to get back to your deep belief your dvd deep belief in julius randall because i think that's dangerous i remember how you felt about him not you personally but the whole fan base last postseason when they were losing the war brunson uh... yes but i think no that was no brunson no brunson brunson i think they made the playoffs one year without brunson made the playoff last two years with brunson i know but julius randall was very frustrating in and out of the lineup throughout all of that.

And I thought Knicks fans turned on Julius Randall each of the last two post-seasons because of bad shot selection. But he's bad. I did not. I did not. And I'll tell you why. Because he was playing hurt. And I am an objective Knicks fan, okay?

I am not a maniacal Knicks fan. I'm a lion. I am a maniacal Knicks fan, but I'm also objective Nick's fan, okay? I am not a maniacal Nick's fan. I'm a lion, I am a maniacal Nick's fan, but I'm also objective and smart. And I can tell when somebody's playing her as a professional athlete, you know what I'm saying? I'm a father of four that makes me a professional athlete. You know what I'm saying?

I know when somebody's playing her. And he's playing her. Put it on the poll, Juju, at Leviton Show. If you're a father of four, are you a professional athlete? There is not an excuse this man will not make for a New York Nick. Two straight segments with Mero,

and it is presented by LinkedIn. The Dan Lebatard Show with Stu Gutz is sponsored by BetterHelp. A lot of us spend our lives wishing we had more time. The question is, time for what? Go for a run, take a nap, read a book, show up for a friend. If time was unlimited, how would you use it?

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I was sitting out in my backyard watching some flowers bloom and some beautiful birds swimming from Royal Fishtail Palm to Royal Fishtail Palm and I had a Miller Lite in my hand and I said, yeah, this is the good life. Over the years a lot has changed. One thing that hasn't, the great taste of Miller Lite. It was the original light beer and to this day is still the very best one. Miller Lite has more of the taste that you want and less of the stuff that you don't. Oh, Miller Lite, you were always there for me. I thank the heavens for you. Every time I'm sitting on my back patio and I take a sip.

Ah, tastes like Miller time. To get Miller Lite delivered right to your door, visit MillerLite.com slash Dan, where you can find it pretty much anywhere that sells beer. Celebrate responsibly Miller Brewing Company Milwaukee, Wisconsin 96 calories per 12 ounces Don LeBataard, we got a free knee hard away I was trying to read fast you do is on the team Luke Jackson Jackson, Bobby Jones, The Matrix Sean Marion, Stugats, Zo Shax,

Mush Parker, Chris Quinn, D Wade, Jason Williams, they're all right. I mean stacked roster. This is the Don LeBattar Show with the Stugats. Also Tony came in, he came flying in when he heard you were here. Yesterday on the show, Mero, and we need your help with this, he's very popular with older Cuban women, Tony is. Oh, las doñas. Yes, las doñas.

Las reinas y las doñas. And Tony has five phrases here. I want you to tell me how his rankings are top five, bottom to top on phrases, old women love to say to him that also melt his heart that make him feel very good about himself. Tell me what you think about this list. If you would add anything to it or subtract anything. First off, bendición is me lead it. How you doing? Me?

The grass. Me too. When you're at the bodega you not only a tie, tie eat that I'm the you're you're there trying to help or she's Trying to help you trying to find something I've got a list of names right now that Hispanic women love to call young good-looking guys like you and I right? Yes We're starting with Oli meet a sorrow. Yeah, it's a good one Me I'll try to guess the next one Mi Tesoro. Yeah, it's a good one. Oh! It's a good one. Perfect. Mi Tesoro. Mi, can I try to guess the next one? OK.

Wow. OK, you want to guess some of his top five? All right, let's see. Mi Rey. Oh! Wow! Holy shit. Mi Rey was number four.

Wow. Number five. All right, wait. Let's see. Let's do it this way. In fact, do it your way. Go ahead and see if you can guess the five. Mi Am great. Let's see, let's do it this way. In fact, do it your way. Go ahead and see if you can guess the five. Mi amor.

Let's go! That was number three. Whoa. Mi cielo. That's a good one. That's what we missed yesterday. You didn't have one, mi cielo. No, my sky.

That would have been so good. We didn't have that. That one, that one we missed. Mi cielo is something that when I got home, I was like, oh my god, I cannot believe I forgot Okay, so we got me this order me we got three more Papi Aggressive That's aggressive! That's aggressive! That's a donya frega!

Donya frega, gracias! That's a BBL donya! That's a Dyckman donya! I'm sorry. It's different. There's levels to those donyas. Come on! Okay! Alright!

My friend is out! I was going to say mi prín prince, but that's too close. No, they'll be my prince number two. So happy. Boom. All right. And uh. You have two here that are obvious,

you're not thinking of, but that you've heard a trillion times. And I said, my love, I said my king, my prince, my treasure.ielo is great Hello, I listen your five is great your five is great Tony You want to give him a hint? Do you want to give him one that's gonna make him angry cuz he didn't there they're both kind of related, right? They're both kind of related one is it's gonna sound weird, but one is a body part and the other one is in emotion

me One is, it's gonna sound weird, but one is a body part, and the other one is an emotion. Mi corazón! My heart! My heart! Mi corazóncito! My heart! Mi bello! My beautiful! What a great clue.

We have one more. The number one thing. And what is an emotion? The number one thing. You have not yet gotten the number one. Let's go, let's see, let's see. And it's, it's an emotion? It's more of like, it's, it's an emotion. It's it's more of like

It's it's I don't even know how to describe it Billy says he knows what I'd like to write Billy Meet that sorrow Billy, go say the penalty, Bobby. Billy, let go of the rope, Billy. What happened? He's so excited. It's my state. You know what he's mad about? The segment was going so well and Tony was starring and he wanted to ruin it. Get out, Bobby. That man said, I know it 12 times. Get out.

Number one, Mero, Mi Vida. Mi Vida. Mi Vida! Oh! Oh! Mi Vida. When you walk in, can I get, ¿Qué eso es?

Mi Vida, como no. Oh, claro, Mi Vida. Oh my, bro, that's like, see? You know what though? That's obvious. That's like, what do you say? It is obvious, but I've got to feel like we betrayed you there because Tony said that was an emotion.

Yeah. But my life, my vida, mi vida. It feels emotional. It's like, but it's not an emotion. That's why I was confused too. What is Billy saying? Why are you still here? Get El Chacal and get out of here.

There's a meeting in there. Vete, vete. Vete El Chacal. Vete. Vete. A la mienda. El Chacal. Va carajo, va carajo. Va carajo. Va carajo. Vete. Get out! Get out! Get out of my way! To the? To the? To the?

Go away! Go away! Go away! Go away! Go away! Go away! Go away! Go away!

Julius Randall, you can't believe in that. Oh, you knock it off. I did a Twitter, I did a Twitter search of your handle and Julius Randall. It hasn't been all puppy dogs and ice cream. I look, cause look, I'm gonna, Mike, I'm gonna, I'm, I'm, I wear my heart on my sleeve. Y'all know this. Y'all know this. I wear my heart on my sleeve. Y'all know this.

Y'all know this. I wear my heart on my sleeve. So sometimes I say things out of anger. You know what I'm saying? I tell this shit to my kids all the time. Sometimes I say things out of anger. I don't mean it. Daddy loves you.

You know what I'm saying? Daddy, I didn't mean to call you that. What I did recognize real quickly in my very quick research is 95% of your Julius Randall tweets are in all caps. Oh, hey! Hey! Hey!

Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Let's call that number. Turn back around so that we can see what that number is. Call the actual attorney. Yes, let's call that number and see what becomes of that.

888-464-7065. But you're correct when you say finish your thought there you apologize to your kids daddy didn't mean that he's just he's a professional athlete he's got four kids they're frustrated life is frustrating life is hard daddy just left Desus all of that was going very well and things are now a little more difficult I'm frustrated the Knicks make me more angry than they should because Daddy's emotional. Come on. Daddy was on the top of the ride toward the meteor,

toward the sky. We were going together. And now Daddy's got to figure out how to feed you and you're annoying today. Hey, no, Daddy's good. Daddy's good because Daddy was a very seasoned hustler back in the day. And media and Perico is the same shit, bro.

You should say, I mean. Tell us what you've learned with Mello and doing it with him, because these things, I think, just so that I can tell the audience this, these two guys were so good together and it was so fun to watch them.

And it's so, so very rare to have televised chemistry. There are a lot of chucklefests all over the place. And the fact, no, I'm not, I'm looking at the, you know all of that. Yes, you were, you were looking at it. I saw peripheral side-eyes. I saw, I felt it. You know what?

You looked at him and you said chucklefests. I felt it. There are a lot of chucklefests out there. These guys, the fact that he goes places and there's always chemistry when he does stuff with people suggests that he produces good chemistry and it's not very easy to do. And what I'm telling you with Mello,

because now LeBron wants in the pod game, everybody wants to get in the pod game, what these two guys are doing is interesting, fun, and and different and it's at least in part because of the relationship that he has with mellow and they will get better and better because they're doing it frequently enough that it's going to be a place where people should be going to listen to fun good chemistry that has a lot of it right you can get your basketball information but also has entertainment because he's interested in that but how is it that you can get your basketball information but also has an entertainment because he's interested in that

how is it that you achieve chemistry with so many different people when i'm telling you it's hard to come by yeah for me is just like that by you may be there and i'm saying that i was happy to be a lot of the time to call camera and uh... into the season this shit was not scheduled for me. You know what I mean? Like I'm a college dropout, bro.

I've been arrested. I've been, you know what I mean? Like a lot of bad things have happened. So on paper, you know what I'm saying? I'm not really supposed to be on TV doing this, having fun with y'all. You know what I mean? Making Mike mad.

You know what I mean? Just by my sheer presence. But you know, I think it's just a testament to like my personality. Like I walk into a room and I'm just trying to be cool and have a good time. You know what I mean? Like I'm not, there's no agendas with me.

You feel me? Like I'm just, I'm here to do what I'm here to do and like let's have fun doing it. Cause if not, why the fuck are we doing it? Tony's gonna close this out, but why is it different? Explain to people why it is that you're bringing out a side of a mellow that perhaps they had not seen.

Because yo, you know, I hate to say like, yo, I'm real, but like, I'm just, I'm just Mero all the time. You know what I mean? Like it's Mero's not a stage name. Like you see all the graffiti in the back, bro. Like, it's just me. So I think if you're just authentically you, bro, and you let people know, yo, listen, I know what I know and I know what I don't know, you know, and just be cool. You know what I mean? Don't like, don't be a dick you, bro, and you let people know, yo, listen, I know what I know and I know what I don't know.

And just be cool. You know what I mean? Don't be a dick eater, bro. Don't be weird. You know what I'm saying? Just be normal. You know what I mean? And shit will work out.

I mean, it's worked out for me that way. You know what I mean? I'm not, I'm good. I'm in a very large house in Franklin Lakes. You know what I mean? The housewives are right over there. You know what I'm saying? If you block for Eli Manda, you live in my neighborhood. you know what I mean? The housewives are right over there, you know what I'm saying? If you block for Eli Manti, you live in my neighborhood, you know what I'm saying?

I'm good. I'm good. That Jeter thing, it needs to go someplace else. If you're gonna be the Knicks correspondent around here. Bring us home, Tony. Let's bring it home. I'll put another one. Let's bring home this interview presented by LinkedIn

Yes last time that we were on with Mero and Tigraso Last time we gave you be Bapu Roo as the refunded DIA do you remember that yes sir okay we have another one we have a wheel of things we're gonna look for the wheel let's see let's see if we can find one let's see what it lands on here's la we'rea yeah here we go today's Today's El Fun De Dia is, give me a, we also have, Dale! Dale! Today's El Fun De Dia with the Kid Mero. Sana, sana, culito de rana. Si no sana hoy, sana mañana. Hey, you know what that means, dog.

That means you fell and I don't have any way to fix it, but I'm gonna say these words and hope that you will stop crying in public. The English translation is, heal, heal frog of an ass. If it doesn't heal today, it'll heal tomorrow. Yes. What? We don't know why.

Sana, sana, culito alrana. The rhyme in the middle of that is ass of a frog. Ass of a frog. But cute little baby ass of a baby frog. Culito. That's the culito at the end. No culo, no culito. Just, yes, thank you.

The phrase makes no sense. No sense. It doesn't. Mero, thank you. Again, I will tell the people. 7 p.m. in Brooklyn. That's right, baby. And victory life.

You had a strong first effort here. We'll have you back to be Loud Nick's correspondent. Let's go, baby. You know what I'm saying? This is mine. You say somebody up top wants to be the Nix correspondent. Let's go baby. You know what I'm saying? This is mine. Whoever, you saying somebody up top wants to be the Nix correspondent, it's a dub bro, it's mine. Get out of here.

I'll tell Sam Morell that when he- That's right Sam. Want visibly glowing skin in 14 days? With new Olay Indulgent Moisture Body Wash, you can lather and glow. The 24-hour moisturizing body wash is infused with vitamin B3 complex and has notes of rose and cherry creme for a rich, indulgent experience. Treat your senses with new Olay Indulgent Moisture Body Wash. Buy it today at major retailers. Don Lebatard.

All these high-paid analysts, I don't want to mention names. retailers. lose it in Miami? I need to calm you down. That's right. If they lose in Miami, they don't get a chance in Boston. Oh, they are going to have their ass, you know what, in Boston, you know. Stugats. They were wrong. They were, are they going to lose a job? No. Are they going to get a cutting pay? No. What are they going to do? Keep predicting what is the obvious. They are going to say, oh, the Nuggets are going to win. Oh, Denver, the altitude. And you know what? They're not going to win at all. This is the Don LeVatar show with the Stugats. Stugats over the last three or four years, I don't know if the entire country is just a little bit unhappier, but basically everyone Basically, everyone has taken a flogging, filled with anxiety and awful and fear. And sports is such a great place to hide from a terrible election year. Just let's head into the breach with sports.

We're in March, Dugats. We're a mid-march madness but what i just heard there from an x-fam okay what it jostled a fifty five-year-old grieving turd coming in here every day trying to care about sports what i just heard jostled stood out was

nicks heat in a way that can inflame mike ryan has gotten tired as a sports fan he's consuming more of it than ever well kanean crazed loves the university of miami and the heat where this was all birth for him like where us against everybody is a sports fan in two thousand ten made this a crazy market. His relationship with the Heat is weird

and we're headed into another playoff run here where it's gonna be Celtics and now Knicks to Gots. And Mike Ryan doesn't actually have faith in his team, doesn't believe that the Miami Heat of Terry Rozier is gonna do anything with the new officiating other than lose. Mike Ryan has faith in a new team and a new league it's the panthers and it's hockey because he knows that team is good he knows they'll be in the post-m l s he doesn't

know that with the heat it's m l s i'm telling you i can't believe i live on a show where heat homer mike ryan is being tempted by so much in south Florida for his fan with that he's only got so much time to invest emotionally in the heat of this year against those Celtics because he fears it's gonna end poorly as last year's Heat fans say wait a minute they knocked off Giannis in the first round yeah they'll beat anybody in the first round as soon as Jimmy cares again I know

it's gonna end poorly and I'm more certain of it this year than I was last year where I was spectacularly wrong because for this to work for the Miami Heat recent data would suggest that Tyler Hero needs to get hurt for them to go on a run. Okay if you look at his history that can happen. It is happening. Right. But now they just have a worse Tyler Hero to slot in there and do the things inefficiently that held them back and change their offense so Jimmy Butler isn't just eating on every play. And Jimmy Butler isn't out there. Look, me not caring about this regular season. Me actually looking at their games with some kind of disdain now is what they rot. They swing and miss constantly in the off season. They haven't landed the whales

that they've gone out to get. They keep making it to the finals though. Yeah, noted, understand. it to the finals though. Yeah noted understand. Such a shitty Mike. Mike that noted you're so spoiled. It's just an on-ramp to my next point which is it just proves what disrespect they have for the regular season. So if this team is not going to give a single shit about these games before playoff time. Why should we? Why should we, folks? Because they've earned it over the last 15 years from you. No, they haven't.

What they've earned is me saying, okay, they'll care in the postseason. That's what they've earned. That's when you start caring. They could also just be injured. Eh. Eh. Jimmy and Tyler have been out for a while. Everyone's when you start carrying. They could also just be injured. Eh. Eh. Jimmy and Tyler have been out for a while.

Everyone's injured. Yeah, Duncan is hurt, right? It's a bad back. They've had more injuries than most teams. I think it's top five, lost to injuries. A lot of different lineups. Let me ask you something. Are these guys playing in the playoffs

with the injuries that they're sitting out with now? Boom. Jimmy probably is. Yeah. I would bet Tyler and Duncan are. No, Jimmy 100% is. out with now? Boom. Jimmy probably is. Yeah. I would bet Tyler and Duncan are. No, no, no, Jimmy 100% is. Right, but the other guys are probably hurt. Jimmy 100% is.

Basketball injuries are fake. There it is. There it is. Are they not? He says few words and there he is. You fudged the injury report. I'm sorry, am I breaking news here? Injury reports are fudged.

Oh, Bam's questionable tonight, downgrade. We're gonna question Bam. Bam plays. If there's anyone on this team that plays Bam. No one was playing on the roster and he took 10 shots. I will continue to question Bam. Hakez, make a basket. Patty Mills is like two for his last 20.

If he was playing against us, he'd be 18 for his last 20. That's true. You do have to wonder how Bam only scored three points in the All-Star game when his team scored 218. Put it on the poll please at Levitard Show. Do you have to wonder how Bam only scored three points in the All-Star team? Had to be the low score.

All-Star game. High four. I don't like how I'm coming off, and I just had a lot of pent up frustration boil over and I don't even think I made like decent points. Here's my ultimate point with this team. This team has shown you and I know one year that they were one of the top seeds if not the top seed in the East when Max Truss' heel wasn't out of bounds.

Oh God. when Max Truss's heel wasn't out of bounds. But they don't really care about the regular season. So genuinely tell me, why should I? There aren't the reasons that you usually work yourself up to caring, which is, oh, we got a new superstar. Let's see how they fit. Because of how much you're gonna care when the kid Mero is on yelling at the sky because the Knicks are up 2-0 in a series because of how your old sports fan will care then

in a way he does not right now and will believe that Terry Rozier will be better than Julius Randall in a playoff game. Well, Julius Randall is garbage and I'm happy every time he has the ball. He's one of the few players that is worse than Terry Rozier. But you're not going to tell me you're not going to care about that deeply when it presents itself. For the listeners out there, not everything is politics. But heat basketball, I view as this coming election.

I'll dial it up when I have to. I have an important correction. The Eastern Conference All-Stars only scored 211 points. Mike mentioned boiling over. How do you guys handle when a pot filled with rice or pasta boils over and you're trying to cook it? I do the thing where I move it off the heat until it goes down and then back on the heat.

Yeah, I'd like to say I have experience on this front, but I don't. The wooden spoon, I've heard, works. But then a lot of times the rice is sealed, so I don't wanna open the pot to put the spoon in. It's just, I hate that. I end up going back and forth with my pot. The rice is sealed, so I don't want to open the pot to put the spoon in. I hate that. I end up going back and forth with my pot. The rice is sealed.

You're getting a little bit on it. You're messing with in some rice over there? I guess. Well, why would you mess with in some rice in a sealed bag if you're already boiling it? No, I'm not saying in a sealed bag. You put it in the water, it boils, it comes to boil, you go down to simmer, and then you cover it for 15 minutes.

In that 15 minutes, sometimes the water starts to come up, and I would want to take the top off. Man, the stove, my friend, you can't let this thing boil over, it's rice. The second you see a bubble, you turn it down to simmer. But sometimes when you go down to simmer, it's so hot that the water. Yeah, it gets away from you.

I've lowered the level down to two for the simmer, but it's still so hot from when it was boiling. Mis analogy, which one is Haywood I. Smith? Am I a wooden spoon? Put it on the poll, please, Juju. Is Billy a wooden spoon? I wanna go back for a second. All I heard, by the way, was a bunch of accusations,

and I actually do think Dan watches heat basketball regularly, but you guys are jumping on me. I do. Hold on a second. And Jeremy works for the team, otherwise he'd be right there with me saying the same exact thing. Hold on a second.

You guys aren't watching this shit. No, don't tell me that. You guys are not watching this shit. He said you're watching it. I said you're watching it. Look, he said you're watching it. I said, matter of fact, I said I believe sincerely that Dan Lebatard is watching these games. Everyone else, I know you're not watching.

I know it. Why are you yelling at me? I just said I wanted to fix my tone. But I'm defending you. Like if my team didn't care about the regular season and only cared about the postseason, I'd start paying attention during the postseason. It is so crystal clear that they almost approached the regular season with disdain at this point I was watching earlier. Hey Pat. I was watching earlier this week, and I never thought I'd see so much Duncan and Bam pick and roll

I'm like that's what we're doing now Duncan is running our offense now. I don't care Good luck. This is what you've wrought a godfather Pat Riley Riley, happy birthday, f*** off from Mike Ryan. I'm entitled to the last 15 years of greatness and you think for a second, give me this, Stu Gotts, okay? Please, Pat Riley, I know occasionally where it gets back to you. I would never say F off to you.

I think you're an icon, you've done so much, and I'm also what you rot. I'm entitled, I'm awful. But these are the expectations that you've put upon us. Look, we gave you heat culture and you ran with it. It adorns your jersey. How can you be the hardest working, most hated, toughest, all that BS and care so much?

BS! BS! BS! BS! BS! BS! Those things are just a tagline to you, so you can sell more shirts because you do not care about this regular season. What?

You think the culture is merchandise? It's to sell merch, Mike! They found Duck and Robinson and he changed the NBA. You got star players just saying, nah, I don't feel like playing right now, I'll save up for the postseason. Those things may be true come the postseason, but we're all gonna be looking at each other

if they actually make the playoffs and say, all right, here we go, it's time, and it'll be the Bucks series when they got swept all over again. But they have the most improved player ever, according to Dan. On his birthday of all days you're doing this, how dare you? I'm seeing that if you put olive oil on the rim of the pot, it won't overflow.

Really? We'll try that. Unless both Tyler Hero and Terry Rozier get injured, in that case, they will win the NBA championship 100%. There is nothing that will stop this team unless the Denver Nuggets end up meeting them in the finals. What am I giving you Dan? Yeah, well, I'm bothered by I'm bothered by everything that's happening here Okay, including you guys making fun of my Duncan Robinson take okay

Because Duncan Robinson is the most improved player in the history of the Miami Heat an organization that has a great history of improving players White guys, white, wah wah wah white. Hmm. It's a wordy title. Yeah. And I will not have you take that away from me, but I'm embarrassed by what Pat Riley has wrought on his birthday because of this, because of what I'm about to say.

Scott, this town has sucked for sports for so long and we're about to head into... This is a good sports town. As good as it's ever been right now. Two teams in the Final Four just last year. For the last twenty years, we've pretended to be a national show because there's so little to talk about locally. But we're headed into the wonderful storm of, you know how much these hockey players care, everyone in hockey hates the Panthers and they're great.

That's a lot of fun and it'll take your attention and your dollar from Bam just hit a 30 footer to win against Detroit and Mike's complaining. Mike's- That is not the flex that you think it is. When the only wins are against the Detroit Pistons and I Peter 3 I'm embarrassed by your standard That needs to meet the Knicks where they are when the kid Mero is gonna there's gonna be so much bluster

I please make a standing stand They're gonna have to play 500 teams in the playoffs if they make it and they're gonna have to beat them and right now with Terry Rozier on this roster I have very little evidence that they can do so. Do you want to fight with the Knicks in the first round? Yes if the two guards are injured absolutely. If Rozier and Hiro are gone I will fight anybody. He just wants to be right about Rozier. No I don't.

No no no. I would love for Terry Rozier to shut me up with a 35 point performance at the TD Garden. I would love that. Are you kidding me? I think he would love it. I believe Mike. I would, I would.

I hate Boston. I hate the Celtics. I also hate Terry Rozier. But my hate for Boston outweighs the hate for Terry Rozier. Does anyone else besides me have this bad feeling that after these long runs By both the hockey and the basketball team last year that they're gonna have early exits this year I don't think on hockey. I don't know. I know in hockey I feel better about them, but it's just I don't know It's just the way sports works

We're not gonna make two finals run the Heatin Panthers are not going to the final Even throughout that run last year for the Florida Panthers. I never once turned to my wife I said love my life, this is our year. I've said that several times. You have said it a lot. You have, really. You've texted us every day. That's big, yeah.

This is our year. That's big, yeah. It has to be. Owen three versus Boston, Owen two versus Minnesota, Owen two versus the Clippers, Owen two versus the Thunder, Owen two versus Denver, one and one versus Cleveland, one and two versus Milwaukee. It does instill a lot of confidence.

What am I saying that's wrong about their approach to the regular season this year? one and one versus Cleveland, one and two versus Milwaukee. It does instill a lot of confidence. What am I saying that's wrong about their approach to the regular season this year? What am I saying that's wrong? Well, you're accusing of the injuries not being real. I think they are not. They've had a lot of lineups. They said they don't care. They've had a lot of lineups.

They're not injured enough to, if this were the playoffs, you all conceded. We can concede this, right? This is probably a difficult thing for Pat Riley, what you're saying. Pat Riley, we're saying Pat Riley We would all say on his birthday. Happy birthday. Godfather King Mike says bleep off. I did not Happy birthday for thanks. Hey, thanks for 20

The only winning we've had in this town for 25 years that makes us all excited about this You and Wade and Shaq you guys provided it and and and really birthed what is an obnoxious Miami sports fan Billionaire crypto guy. I'm one of the richest men in the world that's what it birthed Pat Riley can't like that his team doesn't care about the regular season and his star is is doing Hulu commercials in green because he can't wear he can't wear the the sponsored heat colors of the NBA. He doesn't like that that guy's showing up to press conferences, I'm sure. In costume and they're paying him $600,000 a year.

I apologize to three members. $600,000 a game they're paying Jimmy Butler. I apologize to three members of the Miami Heat, direct to their zoomy faces last year. No one else is as accountable for their takes on this show as I am and I will wear it once again but Pat Riley should be thanking me right now because Miami Heat I'll look right into the camera as I say. Oh no. Which one is it this one? Is this my mark? Miami Heat I doubt you oh no I think you're gonna get swept

if you make the playoffs I think you made a terrible acquisition Mike Mike he's rolling I think you've missed out on superstar after superstar after superstar I think you you've totally saddled this head coach with mismatched pieces and yet somehow he makes the finals despite being betrayed by this very front office that Dan Leventhal likes to routinely celebrate. Happy birthday, Pat Riley. Thank you. Howdy folks, it's Mike Ryan, it's springtime, and while every time is a good time for Miller Light, springtime is among the best. I was sitting out in my backyard watching some flowers bloom and some beautiful birds swimming from royal fishtail palm to royal fishtail palm and I had a Miller Lite in my

hand and I said, yeah, this is the good life. Over the years a lot has changed. One thing that hasn't, the great taste of Miller Lite. It was the original light beer and to this day it is still the very best one. Miller Lite has more of the taste that you want and less of the stuff that you don't. Oh, Miller Lite, you were always there for me. I thank the heavens for you every time I'm sitting on my back patio and I take a sip. Ah, tastes like Miller time. To get Miller Lite delivered right to your door, visit MillerLite.com

slash Dan, or you can find it pretty much anywhere that sells beer. Celebrate responsibly Miller Brewing Company, Milwaukee, Wisconsin, 96 calories per 12 ounces.