The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz - Hour 1: Shut Up and Clean

Episode Date: July 14, 2025

Is there anything better than watching people fall off a stage? Is Lionel Messi bored by his excellence? Is there anything worse than your dentist trying to talk politics with you while there are tool...s in your mouth? Is it possible to trick your algorithm? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Starting point is 00:01:51 As he got more and more agitated earlier, Greg Cody eventually blurted, that's baloney. And when you're getting more and more agitated and you want to dismiss someone I'd like the escalating tiers of the things that you say is bullshit higher than horseshit bullshit and horseshit are the highest of the indignances here but bologna bologna is mid-tier right it and I'm assuming that it's just because bologna is made out of all the other meats and is a bunch of crap thrown together yes that's the origin of the phrase actually because it's just a crap meat with a bunch of stuff put into it. To me, bullshit is when you get unlucky with something. Horse shit is when someone does something to you. Like, that was horse shit. Bullshit is like, that was unlucky.
Starting point is 00:02:37 Full of bologna is an informal expression used to express disbelief or dismiss something as untrue or ridiculous. Let's not forget chicken shit. Okay, that's not That's not I think you and Chris are making distinctions that aren't necessary when you're doing the hierarchy of these things it Escalates from baloney to horse shit to bullshit correct funny that on the shit variants. They're all farm animals I think horse shit might be higher than bullshit now that it comes out of my mouth Yeah, I think something like if you're indignant about something that someone has said, what are the other phrases you would use other than, yeah, I mean, from your time, it's, you know, poppycock or malarkey or, or, or that phraseology.
Starting point is 00:03:18 What is, is all we've got on that is all we've got. All we've got his his his now well come on the podcast all we've got these days is baloney bullshit horseshit that's it those that that's that that's the gold silver bronze medalist i think baloney may have uh... derived from blart the word baloney okay that's my understanding i don't think that's true and i think it is but here's the thing
Starting point is 00:03:42 don't disrespect baloneyna. Okay, I grew up poor at 1440 shit's gross. We used to eat bologna sandwiches Okay, we would fry the bologna in a pan and we would have two slices per sandwich with some mustard Duh, it's useless and it was delicious Absolutely delicious a bologna sandwich. So when I say full of bologna, I don't mean to denigrate the meat. You mean it as a compliment? Yes. You don't mean it as a compliment?
Starting point is 00:04:09 This is a really good podcast. Full of bologna? Just you and your mustache talking, espousing the virtues of bologna. I'm in. I'd follow bologna with Lawrence Moroney. I just would listen to this. We should send this clip out of him talking about baloney. Let's try to get more young listeners.
Starting point is 00:04:28 Let's play for the video audience and we will try and talk the audio audience through this. One of the great delights of summer entertainment is just watching people fall off stages. Like I could do it for hours, it's wonderful video, we could consume it together here. It happened to Mr. Met and I would imagine an unthought about consequence of being a mascot is that peripheral vision and up down vision might be difficult because you're wearing a giant costume.
Starting point is 00:05:04 And so Mr. Met is doing what here on a, what concert is he at here? Well he's dressed like a member of the Lumineers, that's because he's at a Lumineers concert. I do like the idea of mascots having favorite bands. I do too. And while there are pitfalls, no doubt, peripheral vision being one of them,
Starting point is 00:05:23 there are also some benefits. Like if you fall off stage, you have a cushioned blow. Yeah being one of them. There are also some benefits like if you fall off stage You have a cushioned blow. Yeah, lots of padding Do we have another angle of this because I want to go through a handful of people falling off of stages This is not just him fall like his head hits the side of the stage as he falls that makes this more painful Yeah, and I don't think oh Yeah, oh my hey, honestly. Yeah popped right up that could have been a concussion But he's got so much padding that's the helmet to us you'd use
Starting point is 00:05:50 There's a lot of padding there a mr. Met head that would be great. Yes Nothing better than you're walking and the floor is not there anymore. I'm really surprised the Luminers can sell out of baseball Let me let me play some other people falling off of stages and let me send you guys one because you sent me a couple here I said I asked for a list and you guys sent me Kelsey Grammer and Travis Scott But the one I was thinking of is Mike Ditka So I'm gonna send this to you guys now and let's see if I can top what you guys have with what I have here But let's not go to mine immediately with Mike Ditka and Paul Horning. Let's go Let's escalate to that.
Starting point is 00:06:25 You guys say Kelsey Grammer fell off a stage. What is the back story here? Does anyone have any context on what's happening here with Frazier? I don't understand where Frazier is, why he's speaking, but just said he's on a stage and let's enjoy. All right. Tread through it's a small world pretending I was a UN interpreter. One. I'll do it. Ah. One more time. Let's re-rack that.
Starting point is 00:06:48 We reacted with the fall, but he also says something as he falls. One more time, please. I'll trip through it's a small world pretending I was a UN Interpretive. I'll do it. Ah. Wow. It's pretty good.
Starting point is 00:07:04 Why is there a trap door in the middle of stage Mr. Men is saying the same thing. Let's see or grammar now though Travis Scott's energy I imagine would often take him off stage a little bit dangerous when he gets momentum going He's on stage he's walking oh But here's the problem the auto you got auto-tune rolling and then all of a sudden the trapdoor opens and you're like, no! We'll have the auto-tune. Can we hit it one more time?
Starting point is 00:07:32 Auto-tune! Auto-tune! Auto-tune! To be honest, for the people that aren't watching on video, it's dark, it's red, there's a hole in the middle of the stage. Yeah His shows for a change
Starting point is 00:07:53 I don't know that I can top that but I do remember on highly questionable We were always playing this funny video of Mike did cuz let's see if I can top you guys. The golden boy, Paul Horning. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Why did that guy push it? He got pushed. He's sold.
Starting point is 00:08:16 Down goes Brasier. Down goes. For the audio audience, so he stands up, the desk, the table falls off the stage and Dick is still standing and for some reason he just gets pushed. That was Paul Horning who was mad at Dick and was teasing him.
Starting point is 00:08:34 And that's what could have happened to Wayne Newton in Las Vegas if Tony hadn't saved him. Hadn't saved him heroically. Let me see this again. The golden boy and and and
Starting point is 00:08:56 and always funny and i write getting back to what it is that uh... cody was saying uh... objecting to miser ascii being in the all-star game five games i'm gonna give you the list of players that have been in the all-star game this early well no one's been this early but uh... with the least number of games played so schemes eleven games is what he had played
Starting point is 00:09:23 mark fidritch in nineteen 1973, the bird, Birdman, 13 games. Hideo Nomo, 13 games, and Dontre Willis, 15 games. So in every instance, it's one of these flash phenomenon. It's always the same thing, it's always a pitcher. Yeah, but 10, 11, 15, these are like half a season's worth. That's a big number of starts. But they're all pitch 11, 15, these are like half a season's worth of like, that's a big number of starts. But they're all pitchers. They're all novelty pitchers. Every last one I mentioned there, my surprise is that Fernando Valenzuela isn't on the list. It's just an
Starting point is 00:09:54 unusual novelty that's a bit of a circus act that you're giving a space for because you don't need, you know, the 25th guy. I wonder though, because Mazurowski was named as a replacement, like were those other pictures where they voted in the regular process or they also named as replacements i don't have an answer to your question i am sorry for good question well done we don't have that many novelties across sports because jeremy lind was this in
Starting point is 00:10:21 basketball who are the ones who are what were these little you know I mean I guess Josh Allen were spoiled by what it is that that's doing at quarterback you're now used to it but when you're talking about a phenomenon somebody who comes on to the scene and is different than everyone else how many chances at that do you ever get in sports? I mean the the All-Star game would be the portal for that right because so many players bow out with fake injuries. They love to be named to
Starting point is 00:10:54 an All-Star team but they don't like to actually play in the game. That you have people like this waiting in line to be named. They're not necessarily worthy but they're waiting in line and you see the Hey everybody it's Mike, down here in South Florida as the audience well knows we've been celebrating a proper championship and we've been enjoying every minute of it. And by my side throughout that entire championship celebration has been Miller Lite. Yeah, I wanted to make my championship time a Miller time because much like most of the fun memories I've had as an adult, Miller Lite has been right there by my side supplementing every experience. And now that I'm about to travel during the summer,
Starting point is 00:11:45 you can rest assured I'm going to be having plenty of Miller Lite along the way because that's what summer is all about. And since 1975, Miller Lite has been right there in all those memories for you listening right now. It's the 50th anniversary of Miller Lite. That's 50 years of great taste, great friends, great moments. Miller Lite, great taste, 96 calories. Go to MillerLite.com slash Dan to find delivery options near you, or you can pick up some Miller Lite pretty much anywhere they sell beer.
Starting point is 00:12:11 Cheers to 50 years of Miller time. Celebrate responsibly Miller Brewing Company, Milwaukee, Wisconsin, 96 calories and 3.2 carbs per 12 ounces. The Dan LeBattardes is sponsored by Liquid IV. Listen, I'm not built for the heat. I'm built for air conditioning. I'm built for the shade.
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Starting point is 00:13:32 Big news out of the big easy UFC 318 is about to go down in New Orleans and this card is absolutely stacked. We got Dustin Poirier versus Max Holloway, three as the headliner and it's Dustin Poirier's last walk to the octagon. The final chapter with his legacy on the line and you know DraftKings Sportsbook, the official sports betting partner of the UFC is locked in with all the action, parlays, props, knockout odds, you name it.
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Starting point is 00:14:43 line and back in my stugats I wish you were here my wife despite that gratuitous line in back in my day. Stugarts. I wish you were here my wife I really miss her. No I don't that's the thing about being married you know you're not allowed to say I don't miss my wife I've been gone two days I haven't been gone long enough to miss my wife I'm sorry I call her I'm on the phone with her for 30 seconds you know what am I hello all right all right all right, all right, we'll see ya, all right, and then, you know, I'm gonna see her in two days. I was jumping Charlie, good. This is the Don Lebatar Show with the Stugats.
Starting point is 00:15:12 ["The Stugats Show Theme"] I'm surprised that I haven't gotten to this earlier, and I apologize that I didn't get to this earlier. So, somewhat quietly, I guess, behind a paywall, Lionel Messi in five straight games has scored two goals. That's not something that's ever happened before in MLS. In fact, I don't think four had happened before in MLS. He is an old player.
Starting point is 00:15:42 I don't know how much precedent there is for a player that age remaining the best player in the world. Even if you don't think that he's the best player in the world because you don't believe in MLS's competition, as recently as a year ago, he was the best player in the world. And it's not like he's slowed in any appreciable way. When Zlatan is going out and watching Inter Miami, he's saying that, I came to see Messi and he's playing with a bunch of statues.
Starting point is 00:16:11 No one around him knows how to move. He's the only one who's moving. How is he doing that at that age? I don't want to be spoiled when the immortals sort of remain immortal. But we were talking last week about Kirk C cousins and how it went from hundred million dollar quarterback to europe backup in six games and mike ryan pointed out correctly yeah that's when that happens at about that age
Starting point is 00:16:34 message at about that age that's when it always happens to quarterbacks except for tom brady all of them thirty seven years old you will see numerically despite tom brady is a total outlier but all of aging and science has changed Diana Taurasi is over here playing in her 40s LeBron James is playing in his 40s in a way that makes no physical sense that what LeBron James still being statistically the player that he is numerically, makes no fundamental
Starting point is 00:17:08 sense to anyone who has ever watched sports or the aging process. 37-year-old Lionel Messi is scoring two goals a game against young, hungry kids. That's crazy! Yeah, against kids that can run. MLS is athletic, and it doesn't really matter now I don't think he's a best player in the world anymore And I think you can just point to the competition because you have no real way to measure it However, he was just in the Club World Cup and he was doing it against Porto. He was doing it against European teams
Starting point is 00:17:40 He was doing it against big Brazilian sides. He couldn't do it against PSG. He ran up against a PSG team that had prior to this final, one of the craziest dominant runs in the history of world football, but he's still very good. And when Argentina plays international games, he's still the talisman. He's still what everything goes through. Everything is for Messi to eat and get his, and they know that that is their most successful pathway to victory.
Starting point is 00:18:08 He is still an elite talent. I don't know if he's best in the world anymore again, because the measuring sticks have changed, which we'll be curious to see. If he does have a decision to make, his contract is up here in December, that's when the MLS season ends, is he going to rest before the World
Starting point is 00:18:25 Cup, being he's at his age and just play international duty, or is he going to go to another club to remain sharp? And if he goes to another club, where will that other club be located and what kind of competition will he be going up against? Greg, the thing that I'm marveling at, that as someone who has watched sports all his life and is having difficulty with how it is that some of these guys and women age. In sports in general, it's such survival of the fittest. Young people, hungrier people are always coming at the champion whose hunger can be dissipated over time. How could it not be? Messi has won everything there is to win. Like 20 year olds chasing you down
Starting point is 00:19:09 and him still being better than them in a way that Mike is saying, well, he might not be the best player in the world anymore. Well, who cares when that's what you're talking about when he's this age? If he's the first best, the ninth best, the 18th best. The way that these things cycle in sports right we just we're talking about Najee Harris
Starting point is 00:19:28 two three years this is this is your prime you got two or three years you got two or three years and there are veterans and there are people who can take care of their bodies but staying on top when it's always young people coming to try and knock you off and it would only make sense for messy if not to get tired or all to get board to get bored in a way that would make him not be able to be better than faster people who are more athletic than him yeah i would never include boredom among among the pitfalls uh... for him
Starting point is 00:20:03 he turned thirty eight a few ago. It was right around the time he began this five match two game, two goals every single game for five in a row. Even against MLS that's a fabulous record-setting trend and at age 39 a year from now he's gonna be close enough to the best in the world to be the best player or the key player for a great Argentina team. It's incredible. It's an anomaly, but I don't see much regression in his game. And I worried, as Inter Miami fans I'm sure did, two or three years ago when he came here,
Starting point is 00:20:42 I worried that they were signing an over-the-hill player. That he was coming here as a vacation. That's how it's always been at the end of the careers with Pele or anybody else who was coming over to save soccer. It was always the tattered remains of what those legends used to be. Zlatan changed the narrative a little bit because he rolled in here and he dominated and then he went back to Europe and he's still scoring at a decent output while still making fun of MLS and he doesn't ever miss an opportunity to make fun of what he thinks of MLS. But we'll say that this run of braces for Messi, they're coming in a lot of 2-1 games. They are grinding these things out and the best player that has ever entered this league
Starting point is 00:21:23 is literally winning them their games. He's all their output and he did so in the Club World Cup too against international competition. An incredible player still. He's got 16 goals in 16 MLS matches. That's in any credible league that's noteworthy. I mean that is fantastic. Tied for the league league with Sam Surge of Nashville. Oh nice nice factoid. Where'd that come from? Don LeBattard!
Starting point is 00:21:51 Greg Cody of the Miami Herald who is a source of constant frustration and entitlement and narcissism. This is what he says. This is either the last Back in My Day as a regular series or the first of a new phase in which Back in My Days are occasional, not every week. So he has just announced officially his laziness. Stugats. I wanna make him an occasional series.
Starting point is 00:22:16 I am, once a week. But no, I think more occasional. I think every time you don't have a Back in My Day, you can't do the show. I think we should. Okay, okay, that's fine, because I have a contract, so if you wanna pay me can't do the show. I think we should. Okay, okay. That's fine, because I have a contract, so if you want to pay me for not doing the show. That's fine.
Starting point is 00:22:29 We can pay him for doing nothing. We already do. That's a good one. I got no retort for that. This is the Don LeBattar Show with the Stugats. Sad's Lo's some life advice. The audience was giving you I need the audience's help with something that happened to me on Friday and so I want to know what the feedback was in general and what you got decided with your teenage boy who
Starting point is 00:22:59 informed you the other day at 16 years old that he was headed to Chicago for a UFC fight did not ask your permission just told you he was going. The audience said, what about this and what's the reaction been? Yeah. Well, first of all, the reaction's been great because I lost my parent handbook, so I don't have the answers to everything. And the reaction has been ongoing throughout the weekend. So I appreciate that.
Starting point is 00:23:24 And I will tell you, it's an easy out for me and my wife because, as some of the listeners have pointed out, there's no hotel that's going to allow a 16 year old to check into a hotel. You probably, you definitely at least have to be 18. So we already told my son that we avoid being the bad guys. I know there's a lot of pushback where it's like, Zazzle, why are you afraid of being the bad guy? Whatever, alright? So we got out of it because of that and now
Starting point is 00:23:49 he's trying to get, they think that they're gonna get one of the parents to go, it ain't gonna be me. I'm not trying to go to Chicago, but I think we're in the clear. Are your kids of an age where they think you're their buddy more than their dad? No, no, they know him above them. They know him above them. Well, this doesn't make it sound like it though, right? In this instance, it didn't sound like it if he told you he was going. Right, well, okay, when he says he's going,
Starting point is 00:24:21 it doesn't mean that, and we're saying no, which we weren't doing yet, but he says he's going, we're saying no, and're saying no which we weren't doing yet But he says he's going we're saying no and then the day comes he just up and leaves and he goes like that's not the way That's not what would happen all right He could think he's going we could say no he could think he's going he's not going if we don't want him to But does he know that he thought yes, yes Yes, good card though Can't just get into his car and go to the airport and all of a sudden he's flying in Chicago with me and my wife screaming No, you're not. No, he wouldn't be going then. I think uncle Tony should go
Starting point is 00:24:51 I mean, I may hang out live from Chicago low-key Tony in consideration as chaperone low-key Dan Can you make a kid's dream come true? We can make it happen. I think loves Hamza That would be bad loves the Arab fighters my son loves them. I think it would be bad judgment. He goes to the no he goes to the fight okay we do the show once he's done he comes over that's it we're done. The life advice I need is the following from the group here I really don't know what to do about this because I've told you that for many many years without knowing it because I had just gone to the same old-school dentist
Starting point is 00:25:30 I had always gone to that I had not realized that over the last 20 years or so the dental industry has become something that is much more modernized so what I was doing in a dentist chair was a little more primitive than what it is now where i'm watching a netflix show and my legs are being massaged into the whole spa experience when they're cleaning my teeth it has been earlier lovely lovely to go from passing out the chair one time uh... from the dental work that was being done on my mouth
Starting point is 00:26:04 enjoying going to a truly happy dental place where a lot of people are enjoying nice services. Where is this? I gotta try this. Yes, it's in Aventura, and it's taken me many years to find it. But what I was gonna tell you, and I don't wanna talk too much about this
Starting point is 00:26:22 because then it's gonna get back to my dentist. It's my dentist like curb but Larry David's got a new show coming out on HBO produced with the Obamas 30 30 minutes sketch sketch comedy series anyway so I'm in the chair and I've told you before that I have been surprised that my dentist, while doing a great job, like I don't feel anything. It's just, I'm in and out in an hour, and everything is perfect. It's a perfect experience.
Starting point is 00:26:53 That's that big needle that they use. It's not a needle, no needles, just topical, just little topical stuff. But the last time I was in with her, it was super far right politics But the last time I was in with her, it was super far right politics that she was talking. And this time with my mouth open and sharp instruments inside,
Starting point is 00:27:15 I get the question, how do you feel about Trump? I thought she's run this game on you before. I just stay quiet. I don't know what to do because I don't want- Vul. Well here this is this is what I'm telling you I'm admitting to the audience a vulnerable position because here is where my morality gets diluted by my comfort because you do what in this situation? What do you guys do in this situation where you're having the magical, the magical dental experience but you really don't want to have this conversation in any way? It has to be whatever keeps you comfortable in that
Starting point is 00:27:55 moment. That's the only thing there is to do. But I felt in that chair as soon as she started about cloud seeding, weather control, and deep state? Mm. I just said, I think they're all dangerous. But I'm speaking like my mouth is wide open with one of these things. I can barely speak. I got one of these things sucking out things. That's the thing with the dentist, right?
Starting point is 00:28:16 Or the person who's cleaning the dental hygienist. They ask you questions while they're working on your mouth. They love doing that. You have no way to answer back. You're like, ma, ma, ma, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah. You start to answer, and then they're like, no, keep your tongue down. Or like, on your mouth. They love doing that. You have no way to answer back. You're like, I don't know. You start to answer and then they're like, no, keep your tongue down
Starting point is 00:28:28 or like move your tongue. I can't talk then. Yeah, my guy was like that, too. Mandel. Yeah. Yeah, he he he used he was an older gentleman. Why switch dentists? He used to talk about all these
Starting point is 00:28:39 like Abe Saperstein and all all these old timey NBA names. And all of a sudden in the middle. Right. in the middle of the thing, on and on and on, he walks over and grabs a picture. And all of a sudden, now I'm looking at a picture frame. It's like, I don't care, dude. Just, oh wow.
Starting point is 00:28:56 I know, you remember him. How old are you gonna talk that? What do you do in my situation? I'll tell you what I do. I say, be a dentist. Quit talking politics. That is a crazy thing. Shut up and clean. Is that what you're gonna tell me a dentist? I don't want to talk politics. How do you feel about Trump is one of the wilder things to be asked?
Starting point is 00:29:19 I'm I'm telling you guys that as your mouth is open in that situation It does not feel safe to do what you just did. What you just did, I understand, be a dentist, they've got sharp things in your mouth, Greg. You would never say that. The idea that she would attack you if you were in a time of need. No, I'm not saying that she would.
Starting point is 00:29:44 Oh, oh, you hate a bug? No. You also I'm not saying that she would attack. Oh, you hate him? No. You also enjoy the experience so much, you're living out the Palestinian chicken episode. Because this place brings you joy for something that, this is actually the most enjoyable experience I've ever had here. I'm willing to tolerate your politics.
Starting point is 00:29:56 Not since chicken filet has this conundrum been seen quite so clearly by those on the left who have their appetites about comforts. Should we be Chick-fil-A there? Don't wear a Biden shirt in there. I'm worried. I'll wear it in there. I'm asking- You mentioned Chick-fil-A. Okay. That's what he meant.
Starting point is 00:30:13 He said chicken-fil-A. I didn't know what that was. Yeah, it was my bad. Sorry. It was Chick-fil-A. Gotcha. Sorry. My bad. The thing that I'm saying though to Greg about be a dentist and how it is that you're not going to do that because I don't fear an attack there I just fear all future awkwardness that will make it a less pleasant experience than what it presently is well what what says is true I would find a polite way to say be a dentist don't talk politics you just got to give a nothing answer like when they go. How do you feel about Trump? You just go
Starting point is 00:30:53 God it works. I mean you can't talk politics. I feel that in my own family, you know relatives of mine no longer come over for Thanksgiving dinner because They're not welcome there. What? Yes, cheese. It's not cuz I'm okay Dan I think what you should do is kind of hit him with a, hit him with one of these. Tone, tone, I'm sorry, I need to go. Let's not sit here. Politics is everywhere.
Starting point is 00:31:10 I'm trying to get out of that thing, I'm trying to move on over. Politics is everywhere, which is why people gravitate to escapes, like our show in the Club World Cup. I wanted to see Greg Cody and Chris Cody sink into a family argument about Chris not knowing who's been banned from the Cody household because of politics I felt like we
Starting point is 00:31:30 need to follow that I'm guessing despite how he looks dick leans left yes he does he's been banned from Facebook for yes multiple times yeah the comments usually does lean one way or the other. Not me. Oh, by the way. Me down the middle. Well, we were having fun at Conor McGregor's expense. Azalea Banks, the outspoken hip hop artist.
Starting point is 00:31:56 She released screen caps of DMs that she received, allegedly from Conor McGregor, nude ones, unsolicited, including one photo in which there's a barbell hanging from his penis. The alien! And said one of the messages, and they're threatening, which is, don't be a rat, because rats get caught. So that was happening today, very early. Conor got after it.
Starting point is 00:32:19 By the way, happy birthday, Conor McDavid. 37 today. We weren't talking about Conor McDavid. Or McGregor, I should say. McGregor, not McDavid. 37 today. We weren't talking about Connor McGregor. I should say McGregor. Happy birthday! So who's birthday is it? McDavid's 37? I don't care! Good luck! Whose birthday is it? Whose birthday is it? No, it's Connor McGregor's birthday. Okay good. Horribly unfair thing to invoke Connor McDavid during that particular part. I thought he was 37. Got my Connors mixed up.
Starting point is 00:32:44 Earlier in the show we played Travis Scott falling off a part. I know. I thought he was 37. Got my Connors mixed up. Earlier in the show we played Travis Scott falling off a stage. I want to go back to that because Mike Ryan described it as both red and dark, which is accurate. Let's play that video and that sound again. The autotune is hysterical. is hysterical the for those of you not watching on video the last sound that you're hearing is very much in falling off the stage with auto tuners function shit
Starting point is 00:33:24 and when you mention that it was red and dark, it made me imagine what I thought is the shirt you're wearing now, which is the satanic music that you went to go see last week or this weekend. Yeah, I went last night to the Kaseya Center at eight o'clock. I shrolled in. The concert started at eight o'clock. Oh, that's awesome. At eight o'clock. I shirled in. The concert started at eight o'clock. Oh, that's awesome. At eight o'clock, you put your phone in your,
Starting point is 00:33:48 they have a pouch, no phones. The concert started at eight o'clock on a Sunday night. No opener, just here's the band Ghost. They play for an hour and 45 minutes. You are on your way home by 9.45. It was the greatest. And I like shows in which I can't have my cell phone. I wish I did have some video to share with you because the stage production is
Starting point is 00:34:10 unbelievable. I've never heard of that before. A concert, a music concert that has the pouch to put your cell phone away. I've seen that before. I've gone to Jack White concerts. Jack White is a huge believer in this but he's playing smaller venues and he realizes and when he plays arena shows it's a little harder to uh to enforce. I haven't been to an arena show with a music act that does that. It was incredible and I think my favorite part about it was the fact that they started at eight o'clock. You mentioned that. They were they were so it took a satanic band to finally be considerate to its audience on a Sunday night What does that mean? Satanic? What I mean? It's all theater. I don't actually believe it although
Starting point is 00:34:51 There was a lot of you know espousing the virtues of the Dark Lord When you mention oh, thank you satanic Mike Monday makes its appearance there as part of the new imaging As part of what Jason the, is going rogue on. How many times do I have to say stop doing this? Even though it infuriates Mike Ryan. When you mentioned the taking of the phones away, I'm wondering if you guys will be able to find what the app is.
Starting point is 00:35:17 I wonder how you guys would feel about an app that is becoming popular. A couple of friends of mine have mentioned it, that basically if you're going to go to Instagram, for example, to do something mindless, it makes the phone makes you do five squats or whatever to make sure that you don't do it mindlessly. Something that throws exercise into the addiction of social media that we have for our phones. How do you guys feel about that as an idea? Does that seem to you a successful app idea, one
Starting point is 00:35:49 that merges the addiction you have here with your phone to a demand for presence that will have exercise in it every time you want to get onto Instagram? Hypocritical app. Dumb. What are they standing for? We're gonna decrease your dependence on this device by increasing your dependence on this device. Now you need an app to tell you to do squats. Get out of here. Also how does it work? Like am I sitting on the couch and it's like do five squats and I'm like shaking my phone up and down? In order to get your phone working you have to do the exercise. Look you guys can have your questions about it but I'm asking you, you don't like it as an idea for what is our greatest untreated addiction as a species, the addiction we presently have to our phones that are distorting us and creating a dystopian loneliness throughout society, our addiction to it.
Starting point is 00:36:36 If I tell you, you have to be more present when doing it, and here, five squats to do it, that doesn't seem like a good idea to anybody listening to this? No. It's too easy to beat that rap, you know, I'm smarter than an app. It tells me to do five squats I'm like, all right. I just did them. I don't feel like like I'm smarter than my ass anymore I don't feel I don't feel like I'm smarter than my apps anymore. Do you I tell my app? Hey, I know I did five I just did ten now. I'm gonna do TikTok up the ass more often than I would have had the app not told me to do squats. That's what I'm gonna say.
Starting point is 00:37:11 I'm gonna get the best of my app. Tell you that. Raggedy b****. I tell you, the apps are taking over the world. So is the algorithm, okay? You mentioned algorithms earlier. That's an invasion of privacy, okay? I don't want my computer paying so much attention to everything I do that it now feeds me stuff
Starting point is 00:37:33 it thinks I most want or might want. Don't make that decision for me. You know, just because I watch a bunch of elephant videos, it doesn't mean I want nothing but elephant videos. It's an algorithm. It's it's an invasion of privacy So is everything now, you know drones flying over my house taking pictures of me. It's ridiculous. No privacy anymore Am I wrong I Was just taken aback by the language you used I haven't felt that way since last week you used the phrase hard on
Starting point is 00:38:04 you used? I haven't felt that way since last week. You used the phrase, heart on? Yeah, well we were talking about how Viagra originally began as a heart medicine. He's right about that. And so I put together two things. I didn't finish my story because the house on Star Island that resulted from that medicine, that was heart medicine, and by accident became a boner pill, the trees on that lawn are all hundred thousand dollar trees because of how much money was made from that act, the happy accident of the boner pill. First guy must have been like, Doc, I don't know if it's, you know, helping my heart. I know what it is helping though.
Starting point is 00:38:43 It is a bit startling to have that kind of good fortune. I appreciate though, Greg, that you went totally off the off the rail there. Did I? Yeah, I mean, yes, you were I believe we were all jarred by uh, look at them. They're still still look at that room. That room remains shell-shocked. I feel like a strong 90 mile an hour wind has singed all of their eyebrows in there. The whole group of people are startled by how you got that burst of funny out of nowhere. I can't believe I'm the only one who is anti-algorithm. I don't think you are. I think they're making us crazy and sad and that we're addicted to them. That part is obvious, is it not? And yet, I don't feel like I'm smarter than they are.
Starting point is 00:39:27 When I talk to you guys about the changing of viewing habits, I was for a while there, stuck at night going through all the trailers on Netflix, on Apple, without picking any one of them. My algorithm on Instagram is dance all boobs. It's a good algorithm. boobs. It's a good algorithm. It is an invasion of privacy. You're not wrong about this. I like intentionally fooling my algorithm. What I'll do is I'll go 24 hours watching nothing but old Jetsons cartoons and then then for the next week, it's sending me loony tunes,
Starting point is 00:40:06 it's sending me all things related to cartoons. I feel like I have won that, okay? I have gotten, that's where I say I'm smarter than an app. That's where I have beaten the app by fooling it into telling them what my algorithm is, even though it could not be farthest from the truth. So your great victory. It is a mustache summer. It is. even though it could not be farthest from the truth. So your great victory...
Starting point is 00:40:26 It is a mustache summer. It is. I want to be clear on this. Your great victory, though, is that now your algorithm is filled with crap you don't actually want because you showed it. Yes, exactly. What a feeling of superiority. Are you kidding me?
Starting point is 00:40:43 It's the same with cars. Don't tell me when my window should move. I'm veering slightly toward the center of the lane and it beeps. What if I want to veer slightly to the center of the lane? Because the guy in back of me to the right is tailgating, so when he goes to pass I'm veering over just to give him a little of that. And the car is beeping at me like I shouldn't do that. I know what I'm doing. I'm smarter than a car. Greg's onto something here because you feed the algorithm
Starting point is 00:41:09 things you don't want. You don't spend as much time on your phone looking at stuff you don't want. So there's the addiction buster right there. Tom and Jerry cartoons or whatever he said. I don't wanna watch that. Okay, perfect. Feed me more of it.
Starting point is 00:41:23 That way I'm looking at it, I'm like, oh, I don't want to. You guys surprised me with your just total rebuffing and indifference about an app idea that I thought was pretty smart about trying to keep people intentional. I know people don't want a lot of intentionality, but some do, and some appreciate the help with the discipline. It's phony.
Starting point is 00:41:46 Here's why it's phony. They lured you right in with it. You're the sucker, because you wanna approach social media and your addiction to your device on some sort of moral high ground, because you don't like that you've given yourself over to this addiction. I do three squats now every time before I.
Starting point is 00:42:01 You do. We all have it bad, and they've outsmarted us, and they feed it. And you feeling bad about it by installing an app that makes you do four lunges before you open it. It doesn't make you better than me. It doesn't make you better than Zazz. I haven't installed such an app.
Starting point is 00:42:17 I'm just, I'm just. You're app friends. But I see how you're approaching this whole conversation as if you're the moral high ground man. No, boobs. Yeah, my algorithm and I were on the same page I'm not looking down on you from my squat from squat mountain up here I don't have the app and I'm just thinking it's a good idea for people who would appreciate Being more intentional. It's good is, I open up Instagram,
Starting point is 00:42:45 I see Bret Hart applying the sharpshooter on Mr. Perfect. That's what I want instantaneously, and that's what I get. Now the airport looks even more ridiculous, because you just see some asshole life. Yeah. Alright, good, I'm gonna go now.

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