The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz - Hour 1: Shut Up and Clean
Episode Date: July 14, 2025Is there anything better than watching people fall off a stage? Is Lionel Messi bored by his excellence? Is there anything worse than your dentist trying to talk politics with you while there are tool...s in your mouth? Is it possible to trick your algorithm? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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This is the Don Leventor Show with the StuGuts Podcast.
As he got more and more agitated earlier, Greg Cody eventually blurted, that's baloney.
And when you're getting more and more agitated and you want to dismiss someone I'd like the escalating tiers of the things that you say is bullshit higher than horseshit
bullshit and horseshit are the highest of the indignances here but bologna
bologna is mid-tier right it and I'm assuming that it's just because bologna
is made out of all the other meats and is a bunch of crap thrown together yes
that's the origin of the phrase actually because it's just a crap meat with a bunch of stuff put into it.
To me, bullshit is when you get unlucky with something. Horse shit is when someone does something to you.
Like, that was horse shit. Bullshit is like, that was unlucky.
Full of bologna is an informal expression used to express disbelief or dismiss something as untrue or ridiculous.
Let's not forget chicken shit. Okay, that's not
That's not I think you and Chris are making distinctions that aren't necessary when you're doing the hierarchy of these things it
Escalates from baloney to horse shit to bullshit correct funny that on the shit variants. They're all farm animals
I think horse shit might be higher than bullshit now that it comes out of my mouth
Yeah, I think something like if you're indignant about something that someone has said, what
are the other phrases you would use other than, yeah, I mean, from your time, it's,
you know, poppycock or malarkey or, or, or that phraseology.
What is, is all we've got on that is all we've got.
All we've got his his his now
well come on the podcast
all we've got these days is baloney bullshit horseshit that's it those that
that's that that's the gold silver bronze medalist
i think baloney may have uh... derived from blart the word baloney
okay that's my understanding i don't think that's true and i think it is but
here's the thing
don't disrespect baloneyna. Okay, I grew up poor at
1440 shit's gross. We used to eat bologna sandwiches
Okay, we would fry the bologna in a pan and we would have two slices per sandwich with some mustard
Duh, it's useless and it was delicious
Absolutely delicious a bologna sandwich. So when I say full of bologna, I don't mean to denigrate the meat.
You mean it as a compliment?
Yes.
You don't mean it as a compliment?
This is a really good podcast.
Full of bologna?
Just you and your mustache talking, espousing the virtues of bologna.
I'm in.
I'd follow bologna with Lawrence Moroney.
I just would listen to this.
We should send this clip out of him talking about baloney.
Let's try to get more young listeners.
Let's play for the video audience and we will try and talk the audio audience through this.
One of the great delights of summer entertainment is just watching people fall off stages.
Like I could do it for hours, it's wonderful video,
we could consume it together here.
It happened to Mr. Met and I would imagine
an unthought about consequence of being a mascot
is that peripheral vision and up down vision
might be difficult because you're wearing a giant costume.
And so Mr. Met is doing what here on a,
what concert is he at here?
Well he's dressed like a member of the Lumineers,
that's because he's at a Lumineers concert.
I do like the idea of mascots having favorite bands.
I do too.
And while there are pitfalls, no doubt,
peripheral vision being one of them,
there are also some benefits.
Like if you fall off stage, you have a cushioned blow. Yeah being one of them. There are also some benefits like if you fall off stage
You have a cushioned blow. Yeah, lots of padding
Do we have another angle of this because I want to go through a handful of people falling off of stages
This is not just him fall like his head hits the side of the stage as he falls that makes this more painful
Yeah, and I don't think oh
Yeah, oh my hey, honestly. Yeah popped right up that could have been a concussion
But he's got so much padding that's the helmet to us you'd use
There's a lot of padding there a mr. Met head that would be great. Yes
Nothing better than you're walking and the floor is not there anymore. I'm really surprised the Luminers can sell out of baseball
Let me let me play some other people falling off of stages and let me send you guys one because you sent me a couple here
I said I asked for a list and you guys sent me Kelsey Grammer and Travis Scott
But the one I was thinking of is Mike Ditka
So I'm gonna send this to you guys now and let's see if I can top what you guys have with what I have here
But let's not go to mine immediately with Mike Ditka and Paul Horning. Let's go
Let's escalate to that.
You guys say Kelsey Grammer fell off a stage.
What is the back story here?
Does anyone have any context on what's happening here with Frazier?
I don't understand where Frazier is, why he's speaking, but just said he's on a stage and
let's enjoy.
All right.
Tread through it's a small world pretending I was a UN interpreter. One. I'll do it. Ah.
One more time. Let's re-rack that.
We reacted with the fall,
but he also says something as he falls.
One more time, please.
I'll trip through it's a small world
pretending I was a UN Interpretive.
I'll do it.
Ah.
Wow. It's pretty good.
Why is there a trap door in the middle of stage
Mr. Men is saying the same thing. Let's see or grammar now though Travis Scott's energy
I imagine would often take him off stage a little bit dangerous when he gets momentum going
He's on stage he's walking oh
But here's the problem the auto you got auto-tune rolling
and then all of a sudden the trapdoor opens
and you're like, no!
We'll have the auto-tune. Can we hit it one more time?
Auto-tune!
Auto-tune!
Auto-tune!
To be honest,
for the people that aren't watching on video,
it's dark, it's red, there's a hole
in the middle of the stage. Yeah
His shows for a change
I don't know that I can top that but I do remember on highly questionable
We were always playing this funny video of Mike did cuz let's see if I can top you guys. The golden boy, Paul Horning.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Why did that guy push it?
He got pushed.
He's sold.
Down goes Brasier.
Down goes.
For the audio audience, so he stands up,
the desk, the table falls off the stage
and Dick is still standing and for some reason
he just gets pushed.
That was Paul Horning who was mad at Dick
and was teasing him.
And that's what could have happened to Wayne Newton
in Las Vegas if Tony hadn't saved him.
Hadn't saved him heroically.
Let me see this again.
The golden boy
and
and
and
and
always funny and i write
getting back to what it is that uh... cody was saying uh... objecting to
miser ascii being in the all-star game five games i'm gonna give you the list
of players that have been in the all-star game this early
well no one's been this early but uh... with the least number of games played so
schemes
eleven games is what he had played
mark fidritch in nineteen 1973, the bird, Birdman, 13 games.
Hideo Nomo, 13 games, and Dontre Willis, 15 games.
So in every instance, it's one of these flash phenomenon.
It's always the same thing, it's always a pitcher.
Yeah, but 10, 11, 15, these are like half a season's worth.
That's a big number of starts. But they're all pitch 11, 15, these are like half a season's worth of like, that's
a big number of starts. But they're all pitchers. They're all novelty pitchers. Every last one
I mentioned there, my surprise is that Fernando Valenzuela isn't on the list. It's just an
unusual novelty that's a bit of a circus act that you're giving a space for because you
don't need, you know, the 25th guy. I wonder though, because Mazurowski was named as a
replacement, like were those other pictures where they
voted in the regular process
or they also named as replacements i don't have an answer to your question i
am sorry for good question
well done
we don't have that many novelties across sports because jeremy lind was this in
basketball
who are the ones who are
what were these little
you know I mean I guess Josh Allen were spoiled by what it is that that's doing
at quarterback you're now used to it but when you're talking about a phenomenon
somebody who comes on to the scene and is different than everyone else how many
chances at that do you ever get in sports? I mean the the All-Star game would be the
portal for that right because so many players bow out with fake injuries. They love to be named to
an All-Star team but they don't like to actually play in the game. That you have people like this
waiting in line to be named. They're not necessarily worthy but they're waiting in line and you see the Hey everybody it's Mike, down here in South Florida as the audience well knows we've
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yes you know I'm a married man I don't cheat on my wife despite that gratuitous
line and back in my stugats I wish you were here my wife despite that gratuitous line in back in my day.
Stugarts. I wish you were here my wife I really miss her. No I don't that's the
thing about being married you know you're not allowed to say I don't miss
my wife I've been gone two days I haven't been gone long enough to miss my
wife I'm sorry I call her I'm on the phone with her for 30 seconds you know what am I hello all right all right all right, all right, we'll see ya, all right, and then, you know,
I'm gonna see her in two days.
I was jumping Charlie, good.
This is the Don Lebatar Show with the Stugats.
["The Stugats Show Theme"]
I'm surprised that I haven't gotten to this earlier,
and I apologize that I didn't get to this earlier.
So, somewhat quietly, I guess, behind a paywall,
Lionel Messi in five straight games has scored two goals.
That's not something that's ever happened before in MLS.
In fact, I don't think four had happened before in MLS.
He is an old player.
I don't know how much precedent there is
for a player that age remaining the best player
in the world.
Even if you don't think that he's the best player in the world because you don't believe
in MLS's competition, as recently as a year ago, he was the best player in the world.
And it's not like he's slowed in any appreciable way.
When Zlatan is going out and watching Inter Miami, he's saying that, I came to see
Messi and he's playing with a bunch of statues.
No one around him knows how to move.
He's the only one who's moving.
How is he doing that at that age?
I don't want to be spoiled when the immortals sort of remain immortal.
But we were talking last week about Kirk C cousins and how it went from hundred million dollar
quarterback to europe backup in six games and mike ryan pointed out
correctly
yeah that's when that happens at about that age
message
at about that age that's when it always happens to quarterbacks except for tom
brady all of them
thirty seven years old you will see numerically despite tom brady is a total
outlier
but all of aging and science has changed Diana Taurasi is over here playing in
her 40s LeBron James is playing in his 40s in a way that makes no physical
sense that what LeBron James still being statistically the player that he is numerically, makes no fundamental
sense to anyone who has ever watched sports or the aging process.
37-year-old Lionel Messi is scoring two goals a game against young, hungry kids.
That's crazy!
Yeah, against kids that can run.
MLS is athletic, and it doesn't really matter now
I don't think he's a best player in the world anymore
And I think you can just point to the competition because you have no real way to measure it
However, he was just in the Club World Cup and he was doing it against Porto. He was doing it against European teams
He was doing it against big Brazilian sides. He couldn't do it against PSG.
He ran up against a PSG team that had prior to this final,
one of the craziest dominant runs in the history of world football,
but he's still very good. And when Argentina plays international games,
he's still the talisman. He's still what everything goes through.
Everything is for Messi to eat and get his,
and they know that that is their most successful pathway
to victory.
He is still an elite talent.
I don't know if he's best in the world anymore again,
because the measuring sticks have changed,
which we'll be curious to see.
If he does have a decision to make,
his contract is up here in December,
that's when the MLS season ends,
is he going to rest before the World
Cup, being he's at his age and just play international duty, or is he going to go to another club
to remain sharp? And if he goes to another club, where will that other club be located
and what kind of competition will he be going up against?
Greg, the thing that I'm marveling at, that as someone who has watched sports all his life and is having difficulty with
how it is that some of these guys and women age. In sports in general, it's such survival
of the fittest. Young people, hungrier people are always coming at the champion whose hunger
can be dissipated over time. How could it not be? Messi has won everything there is to win.
Like 20 year olds chasing you down
and him still being better than them
in a way that Mike is saying,
well, he might not be the best player in the world anymore.
Well, who cares when that's what you're talking about
when he's this age?
If he's the first best, the ninth best, the 18th best.
The way that
these things cycle in sports right we just we're talking about Najee Harris
two three years this is this is your prime you got two or three years you got
two or three years and there are veterans and there are people who can
take care of their bodies but staying on top when it's always young people coming
to try and knock you off and it would only make sense for messy if not to get tired or all to get
board
to get bored in a way that would make him not be able to be better than faster
people who are more athletic than him yeah i would never include boredom among
among the pitfalls uh... for him
he turned thirty eight a few ago. It was right around the
time he began this five match two game, two goals every single game for five
in a row. Even against MLS that's a fabulous record-setting trend and at age
39 a year from now he's gonna be close enough to the best in the world to be the best player
or the key player for a great Argentina team.
It's incredible.
It's an anomaly, but I don't see much regression in his game.
And I worried, as Inter Miami fans I'm sure did, two or three years ago when he came here,
I worried that they were signing an over-the-hill player.
That he was coming here as a vacation.
That's how it's always been at the end of the careers with Pele or anybody else who was coming over to save soccer.
It was always the tattered remains of what those legends used to be.
Zlatan changed the narrative a little bit because he rolled in here and he dominated and then he went back to Europe and he's still scoring at a decent output while still making
fun of MLS and he doesn't ever miss an opportunity to make fun of what he thinks of MLS.
But we'll say that this run of braces for Messi, they're coming in a lot of 2-1 games.
They are grinding these things out and the best player that has ever entered this league
is literally winning them their games. He's all their output and he did so in
the Club World Cup too against international competition. An
incredible player still. He's got 16 goals in 16 MLS matches.
That's in any credible league that's noteworthy. I mean that is fantastic. Tied
for the league league with Sam Surge of Nashville.
Oh nice nice factoid.
Where'd that come from?
Don LeBattard!
Greg Cody of the Miami Herald who is a source of constant frustration and entitlement and narcissism.
This is what he says.
This is either the last Back in My Day as a regular series
or the first of a new phase in which Back in My Days
are occasional, not every week.
So he has just announced officially his laziness.
Stugats.
I wanna make him an occasional series.
I am, once a week.
But no, I think more occasional.
I think every time you don't have a Back in My Day,
you can't do the show.
I think we should.
Okay, okay, that's fine, because I have a contract, so if you wanna pay me can't do the show. I think we should. Okay, okay.
That's fine, because I have a contract, so if you want to pay me for not doing the show.
That's fine.
We can pay him for doing nothing.
We already do.
That's a good one.
I got no retort for that.
This is the Don LeBattar Show with the Stugats.
Sad's Lo's some life advice. The audience was giving you I need the audience's
help with something that happened to me on Friday and so I want to know what the
feedback was in general and what you got decided with your teenage boy who
informed you the other day at 16 years old that he was headed to Chicago for a
UFC fight did not ask your permission just told you he was going.
The audience said, what about this and what's the reaction been?
Yeah.
Well, first of all, the reaction's been great because I lost my parent handbook, so I don't
have the answers to everything.
And the reaction has been ongoing throughout the weekend.
So I appreciate that.
And I will tell you, it's an easy out for me and my wife because, as some of the listeners
have pointed out, there's no hotel that's going to allow a 16 year old to check into
a hotel.
You probably, you definitely at least have to be 18.
So we already told my son that we avoid being the bad guys.
I know there's a lot of pushback where it's like, Zazzle, why are you afraid of being
the bad guy?
Whatever, alright? So we got out of it because of that and now
he's trying to get, they think that they're gonna get one of the parents to go, it ain't
gonna be me. I'm not trying to go to Chicago, but I think we're in the clear.
Are your kids of an age where they think you're their buddy more than their dad?
No, no, they know him above them. They know him above them.
Well, this doesn't make it sound like it though, right?
In this instance, it didn't sound like it
if he told you he was going.
Right, well, okay, when he says he's going,
it doesn't mean that, and we're saying no,
which we weren't doing yet, but he says he's going, we're saying no, and're saying no which we weren't doing yet But he says he's going we're saying no and then the day comes he just up and leaves and he goes like that's not the way
That's not what would happen all right
He could think he's going we could say no he could think he's going he's not going if we don't want him to
But does he know that he thought yes, yes
Yes, good card though
Can't just get into his car and go to the airport and all of a sudden he's flying in Chicago with me and my wife screaming
No, you're not. No, he wouldn't be going then. I think uncle Tony should go
I mean, I may hang out live from Chicago low-key Tony in consideration as chaperone low-key Dan
Can you make a kid's dream come true? We can make it happen. I think loves Hamza
That would be bad loves the Arab fighters my son loves them.
I think it would be bad judgment. He goes to the no he goes to the fight okay we
do the show once he's done he comes over that's it we're done. The life advice I
need is the following from the group here I really don't know what to do
about this because I've told you that for many many
years without knowing it because I had just gone to the same old-school dentist
I had always gone to that I had not realized that over the last 20 years or
so the dental industry has become something that is much more modernized so
what I was doing in a dentist chair was a little more primitive than what it is now where i'm watching a netflix show
and my legs are being massaged into the whole spa experience when they're
cleaning
my teeth it has been earlier lovely lovely to go from
passing out the chair one time uh... from the dental work that was being done
on my mouth
enjoying going to a truly happy dental place
where a lot of people are enjoying nice services.
Where is this?
I gotta try this.
Yes, it's in Aventura,
and it's taken me many years to find it.
But what I was gonna tell you,
and I don't wanna talk too much about this
because then it's gonna get back to my dentist. It's my dentist like curb but Larry David's got a new show coming
out on HBO produced with the Obamas 30 30 minutes sketch sketch comedy series
anyway so I'm in the chair and I've told you before that I have been surprised
that my dentist,
while doing a great job, like I don't feel anything.
It's just, I'm in and out in an hour,
and everything is perfect.
It's a perfect experience.
That's that big needle that they use.
It's not a needle, no needles, just topical,
just little topical stuff.
But the last time I was in with her,
it was super far right politics But the last time I was in with her,
it was super far right politics that she was talking.
And this time with my mouth open
and sharp instruments inside,
I get the question, how do you feel about Trump?
I thought she's run this game on you before.
I just stay quiet.
I don't know what to do because I don't want- Vul. Well here this is this is what I'm telling you I'm
admitting to the audience a vulnerable position because here is where my
morality gets diluted by my comfort because you do what in this situation?
What do you guys do in this situation where you're having the magical, the magical dental experience but you really don't want to have this
conversation in any way? It has to be whatever keeps you comfortable in that
moment. That's the only thing there is to do. But I felt in that chair as soon as she started about
cloud seeding, weather control, and deep state? Mm.
I just said, I think they're all dangerous.
But I'm speaking like my mouth is wide open
with one of these things.
I can barely speak.
I got one of these things sucking out things.
That's the thing with the dentist, right?
Or the person who's cleaning the dental hygienist.
They ask you questions while they're working on your mouth.
They love doing that.
You have no way to answer back.
You're like, ma, ma, ma, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah. You start to answer, and then they're like, no, keep your tongue down. Or like, on your mouth. They love doing that. You have no way to answer back. You're like, I don't know.
You start to answer
and then they're like,
no, keep your tongue down
or like move your tongue.
I can't talk then.
Yeah, my guy was like that, too.
Mandel. Yeah.
Yeah, he he he used
he was an older gentleman.
Why switch dentists?
He used to talk about all these
like Abe Saperstein
and all all these old timey NBA names.
And all of a sudden
in the middle. Right. in the middle of the thing,
on and on and on, he walks over and grabs a picture.
And all of a sudden, now I'm looking at a picture frame.
It's like, I don't care, dude.
Just, oh wow.
I know, you remember him.
How old are you gonna talk that?
What do you do in my situation?
I'll tell you what I do.
I say, be a dentist.
Quit talking politics.
That is a crazy thing. Shut up and clean. Is that what you're gonna tell me a dentist?
I don't want to talk politics. How do you feel about Trump is one of the wilder things to be asked?
I'm I'm telling you guys that as your mouth is open in that situation
It does not feel safe to do what you just did.
What you just did, I understand, be a dentist,
they've got sharp things in your mouth, Greg.
You would never say that.
The idea that she would attack you
if you were in a time of need.
No, I'm not saying that she would.
Oh, oh, you hate a bug? No. You also I'm not saying that she would attack. Oh, you hate him?
No.
You also enjoy the experience so much,
you're living out the Palestinian chicken episode.
Because this place brings you joy for something that,
this is actually the most enjoyable experience
I've ever had here.
I'm willing to tolerate your politics.
Not since chicken filet has this conundrum
been seen quite so clearly by those on the left
who have their appetites about comforts. Should we be Chick-fil-A there?
Don't wear a Biden shirt in there. I'm worried. I'll wear it in there.
I'm asking-
You mentioned Chick-fil-A.
Okay.
That's what he meant.
He said chicken-fil-A. I didn't know what that was.
Yeah, it was my bad. Sorry.
It was Chick-fil-A. Gotcha.
Sorry. My bad. The thing that I'm saying though to Greg about be a dentist and how it is that you're not going to do
that because I don't fear an attack there I just fear all future awkwardness
that will make it a less pleasant experience than what it presently is
well what what says is true I would find a polite way to say be a dentist don't
talk politics you just got to give a nothing answer like when they go. How do you feel about Trump? You just go
God it works. I mean you can't talk politics. I feel that in my own family, you know
relatives of mine no longer come over for Thanksgiving dinner because
They're not welcome there. What?
Yes, cheese. It's not cuz I'm okay
Dan I think what you should do is kind of hit him with a, hit him with one of these.
Tone, tone, I'm sorry, I need to go.
Let's not sit here.
Politics is everywhere.
I'm trying to get out of that thing,
I'm trying to move on over.
Politics is everywhere,
which is why people gravitate to escapes,
like our show in the Club World Cup.
I wanted to see Greg Cody and Chris Cody
sink into a family argument about Chris not knowing who's
been banned from the Cody household because of politics I felt like we
need to follow that I'm guessing despite how he looks dick leans left yes he does
he's been banned from Facebook for yes multiple times yeah the comments usually
does lean one way or the other.
Not me.
Oh, by the way.
Me down the middle.
Well, we were having fun at Conor McGregor's expense.
Azalea Banks, the outspoken hip hop artist.
She released screen caps of DMs that she received,
allegedly from Conor McGregor, nude ones, unsolicited,
including one photo in which there's a barbell hanging from his penis.
The alien!
And said one of the messages, and they're threatening,
which is, don't be a rat, because rats get caught.
So that was happening today, very early.
Conor got after it.
By the way, happy birthday, Conor McDavid.
37 today.
We weren't talking about Conor McDavid.
Or McGregor, I should say. McGregor, not McDavid. 37 today. We weren't talking about Connor McGregor.
I should say McGregor. Happy birthday! So who's birthday is it?
McDavid's 37? I don't care! Good luck! Whose birthday is it? Whose birthday is it?
No, it's Connor McGregor's birthday. Okay good. Horribly unfair thing to invoke
Connor McDavid during that particular part. I thought he was 37. Got my Connors mixed up.
Earlier in the show we played Travis Scott falling off a part. I know. I thought he was 37. Got my Connors mixed up.
Earlier in the show we played Travis Scott falling off a stage. I want to go back to that because Mike Ryan described it as both red and dark, which is accurate. Let's play that
video and that sound again. The autotune is hysterical.
is hysterical
the for those of you not watching on video
the last sound that you're hearing is very much in falling off the stage with
auto tuners function
shit
and when you mention that it was red and dark, it made me imagine what I thought is
the shirt you're wearing now, which is the satanic music that you went to go see last
week or this weekend.
Yeah, I went last night to the Kaseya Center at eight o'clock.
I shrolled in.
The concert started at eight o'clock. Oh, that's awesome. At eight o'clock. I shirled in. The concert started at eight o'clock.
Oh, that's awesome.
At eight o'clock, you put your phone in your,
they have a pouch, no phones.
The concert started at eight o'clock on a Sunday night.
No opener, just here's the band Ghost.
They play for an hour and 45 minutes.
You are on your way home by 9.45.
It was the greatest.
And I like shows in which I can't have my cell phone.
I wish I did have some video to share with you because the stage production is
unbelievable. I've never heard of that before. A concert, a music concert that
has the pouch to put your cell phone away. I've seen that before. I've gone to
Jack White concerts. Jack White is a huge believer in this but he's playing
smaller venues and he realizes and when he plays arena shows it's a little harder to uh to
enforce. I haven't been to an arena show with a music act that does that. It was incredible and
I think my favorite part about it was the fact that they started at eight o'clock. You mentioned
that. They were they were so it took a satanic band to finally be considerate to its audience on a Sunday night
What does that mean? Satanic? What I mean? It's all theater. I don't actually believe it although
There was a lot of you know espousing the virtues of the Dark Lord
When you mention oh, thank you satanic Mike Monday makes its appearance there as part of the new imaging
As part of what Jason the, is going rogue on.
How many times do I have to say stop doing this?
Even though it infuriates Mike Ryan.
When you mentioned the taking of the phones away,
I'm wondering if you guys will be able to find
what the app is.
I wonder how you guys would feel
about an app that is becoming popular.
A couple of friends of mine have mentioned it,
that basically if you're going to go to Instagram, for example, to do something
mindless, it makes the phone makes you do five squats or whatever to make sure
that you don't do it mindlessly. Something that throws exercise into the
addiction of social media that we have for our phones. How do you guys feel
about that as an idea? Does that seem to you a successful app idea, one
that merges the addiction you have here with your phone to a demand for presence
that will have exercise in it every time you want to get onto Instagram?
Hypocritical app. Dumb. What are they standing for? We're gonna decrease your dependence on this
device by increasing your dependence on this device. Now you need an app to tell
you to do squats. Get out of here. Also how does it work? Like am I sitting on the
couch and it's like do five squats and I'm like shaking my phone up and down? In order to get your phone working you have to do the exercise. Look you guys can have your questions about it but I'm asking you, you don't like it as an idea for what is our greatest untreated addiction
as a species, the addiction we presently have to our phones that are distorting us and creating
a dystopian loneliness throughout society, our addiction to it.
If I tell you, you have to be more present when doing it, and here, five squats to do
it, that doesn't seem like a good idea to anybody listening to this?
No. It's too easy to beat that rap, you know, I'm smarter than an app. It tells me to do five squats
I'm like, all right. I just did them. I don't feel like like I'm smarter than my ass anymore
I don't feel I don't feel like I'm smarter than my apps anymore. Do you I tell my app? Hey, I know I did five
I just did ten now. I'm gonna do TikTok up the ass more often
than I would have had the app not told me to do squats.
That's what I'm gonna say.
I'm gonna get the best of my app.
Tell you that.
Raggedy b****.
I tell you, the apps are taking over the world.
So is the algorithm, okay?
You mentioned algorithms earlier.
That's an invasion of privacy, okay?
I don't want my computer paying so much attention to everything I do that it now feeds me stuff
it thinks I most want or might want.
Don't make that decision for me.
You know, just because I watch a bunch of elephant videos, it doesn't mean I want nothing
but elephant videos.
It's an algorithm. It's it's an invasion of privacy
So is everything now, you know drones flying over my house taking pictures of me. It's ridiculous. No privacy anymore
Am I wrong I
Was just taken aback by the language you used I haven't felt that way since last week you used the phrase hard on
you used? I haven't felt that way since last week. You used the phrase, heart on? Yeah, well we were talking about how Viagra originally began as a heart
medicine. He's right about that. And so I put together two things. I didn't finish
my story because the house on Star Island that resulted from that medicine,
that was heart medicine, and by accident became a boner pill, the trees on that lawn
are all hundred thousand dollar trees because of how much money was made from that act,
the happy accident of the boner pill.
First guy must have been like, Doc, I don't know if it's, you know, helping my heart.
I know what it is helping though.
It is a bit startling to have that kind of good fortune.
I appreciate though, Greg, that you went totally off the off the rail there. Did I? Yeah, I mean, yes, you were
I believe we were all jarred by uh, look at them. They're still still look at that room. That room remains shell-shocked.
I feel like a strong 90 mile an hour wind has singed all of their eyebrows in there.
The whole group of people are startled by how you got that burst of
funny out of nowhere. I can't believe I'm the only one who is anti-algorithm. I
don't think you are. I think they're making us crazy and sad and that we're
addicted to them. That part is obvious, is it not? And yet, I don't feel like I'm smarter than they are.
When I talk to you guys about the changing of viewing
habits, I was for a while there, stuck at night
going through all the trailers on Netflix, on Apple,
without picking any one of them.
My algorithm on Instagram is dance all boobs.
It's a good algorithm.
boobs. It's a good algorithm. It is an invasion of privacy. You're not wrong about this. I like intentionally fooling my algorithm. What I'll do is I'll go 24 hours watching
nothing but old Jetsons cartoons and then then for the next week, it's sending me loony tunes,
it's sending me all things related to cartoons.
I feel like I have won that, okay?
I have gotten, that's where I say I'm smarter than an app.
That's where I have beaten the app by fooling it
into telling them what my algorithm is,
even though it could not be farthest from the truth.
So your great victory. It is a mustache summer. It is. even though it could not be farthest from the truth.
So your great victory...
It is a mustache summer. It is.
I want to be clear on this.
Your great victory, though, is that now your algorithm
is filled with crap you don't actually want
because you showed it.
Yes, exactly.
What a feeling of superiority.
Are you kidding me?
It's the same with cars.
Don't tell me when my
window should move. I'm veering slightly toward the center of the lane and it beeps. What
if I want to veer slightly to the center of the lane? Because the guy in back of me to
the right is tailgating, so when he goes to pass I'm veering over just to give him a little
of that. And the car is beeping at me like I shouldn't do that. I know what I'm doing.
I'm smarter than a car.
Greg's onto something here because you feed the algorithm
things you don't want.
You don't spend as much time on your phone
looking at stuff you don't want.
So there's the addiction buster right there.
Tom and Jerry cartoons or whatever he said.
I don't wanna watch that.
Okay, perfect.
Feed me more of it.
That way I'm looking at it, I'm like, oh, I don't want to.
You guys surprised me with your just total rebuffing
and indifference about an app idea that I thought
was pretty smart about trying to keep people intentional.
I know people don't want a lot of intentionality,
but some do, and some appreciate the help
with the discipline.
It's phony.
Here's why it's phony.
They lured you right in with it.
You're the sucker, because you wanna approach social media
and your addiction to your device
on some sort of moral high ground,
because you don't like that you've given yourself over
to this addiction.
I do three squats now every time before I.
You do.
We all have it bad, and they've outsmarted us,
and they feed it.
And you feeling bad about it by installing an app
that makes you do four lunges before you open it.
It doesn't make you better than me.
It doesn't make you better than Zazz.
I haven't installed such an app.
I'm just, I'm just.
You're app friends.
But I see how you're approaching this whole conversation
as if you're the moral high ground man.
No, boobs. Yeah, my algorithm and I were on the same page
I'm not looking down on you from my squat from squat mountain up here
I don't have the app and I'm just thinking it's a good idea for people who would appreciate
Being more intentional. It's good is, I open up Instagram,
I see Bret Hart applying the sharpshooter on Mr. Perfect.
That's what I want instantaneously, and that's what I get.
Now the airport looks even more ridiculous,
because you just see some asshole life.
Yeah.
Alright, good, I'm gonna go now.