The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz - Hour 1: The Drunkenness Tiers

Episode Date: December 9, 2025

"I am doing a thing." Pablo and Chris offer helpful opinions, but not until after they were actually helpful. Also, Quentin Jammer has a wild claim, and there is a ton of breaking news all around Major League Baseball. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This is the Dan Levitar show with the Stucats podcast. A lot of really hot tickets for the world's biggest soccer tournament. I got my eyes on that June 26th Pride Night Match between Egypt and Iran. I'm sure that predesignation is going to go over really well. But if you want tickets to this premier soccer tournament, why don't you take the guesswork out of buying tickets with the GameTime map. Download GameTime, Create an account, and use code damn. for $20 off your first purchase.

Terms apply. Again, create an account and redeem code D-A-N for $20 off. Swipe, tap, ticket, go. Download the GameTime app today. As I mentioned at the start of what we were doing here with Metal Arc Media linking up New York and Miami in a way during this holiday season that genuinely makes me grateful to be working with my friends and to be building something during a difficult media time, It doesn't mean that I'm not frustrated at all times by working with these friends

because Chris Cody just texted me during that last break. I have a bunch of nicknames that can be used instead of hogs. And he did this while Pablo, allegedly the Harvard among us, blurted during the break, I like office holiday parties. These things would have been useful back when we were talking. about them you circling back around two hours later to have thoughts on things that were 90 minutes ago while david spends the entire time in his phone distracted and not presently here in any way yeah so i i sorry i i will pay the fine but i have my phone set where there's four

people who can make it through the silence because of emergencies that could happen with a sick child so it's happening and then on a break I'll look at everything else that's happening and so I'm just trying to deal with getting lunch for her she can only eat certain things and I'm going to go to her favorite restaurant to get a lunch for my daughter right after the show's over but now I got to deal with this I got a text and I'm sorry but someone's impersonating me speaking of AI and everyone worried about you know they're losing their identity someone's impersonating me what would you think would be the number one thing that a person would do trying to impersonate me. What would they do? Donate to a politician who's in favor of higher tax rates. Bill taxpayers to build a publicly

funded stadium. Amazing. These are all keep keep going good. So what happened is I got notification from a friend at the Wall Street Journal that someone submitted an op-ed under my name discussing MLB and the new CBA and they were confirming my friend was confirming because it did not sound like me like why are you doing that and then I had to say that wasn't me and this is this was at the end of this was during the show hold on hold on so a scammer prankster submitted an op-ed to the wall street journal under your name yes can you ask for that op-ed to be sent to you so you can can share it so you can see it. I would like to see what level of effort this mystery journalist put into this op-ed and what was the point? What were they proposing? I assume the

word secrete is inside that. What do you know? What do you, you, this is one of your... This is real time. Okay, but I would think that this would be one of your real-life nightmares, someone stealing your identity. That is a nightmare. I think that's happened to a couple of people on our show that have had their identity stolen and how it is that you ended. up trying to go get it back becomes a monster inconvenience i would think that you have very few fears larger in the scam kingdom than that one well they don't have my identity they don't know my social security number they're not getting my bank account or credit card but what they're doing is trying no so i assume anyone who goes to the wall street journal with an op-ed is not after anything in my

bank account they're just trying to get something published in my own nom de plume that would be my thought At least, you know what, I need to call the credit card company. Hold on one second. I mean, I would figure if you're so confident about this. Right-handed pitcher James Corrinczak has signed a minor league deal with the Atlanta Braves. Can I get Jeremy to always speak in that voice? I like that he uses fewer words. He's good with the information.

If you think your family. You finally called him Brown? I am reading some news here from Quentin Jammer that I'm having trouble believing. The Quentin Jammer I associate with having one of the great names for someone who has ever played a position. You very rarely find someone named so well in sports for what it is that they did well in sports. He was a very good cover corner who jammed well at the line. He has now admitted, is this on Twitter that he did this? that he uh i i just find this impossible to believe that he played eight games uh how many years

ago pablo uh just drunk incredibly shitfaced drunk what what you know the term i mean let's read it though because this is uh from last night during uh during i guess the game uh quote true story dot dot dot dot dot in 2011 i played completely shit faced drunk in at least eight games that's not possible. It's not possible. Probable. No, what do you mean? You think he's the only player?

I, yes, I don't believe it's possible to play that. It seems so hard to play cornerback. I think cornerback is the second hardest thing to do across sports. I think hitting a baseball is the hardest thing to do. And I think trying to cover a wide receiver when the wide receiver knows where he's going is bigger than you. And the quarterback knows where he's going. I believe that's the second hardest thing to do in sports. and I don't believe it can be done well, shit-faced drunk or drunk of any kind.

We would just tell the players to aim for the middle ball. And so I assume that's what the cornerbacks do. They just aim for the middle player, the middle-wide receiver. It's very common, Dan. It's not common. Players drink all the time. They drink before games. They drink during games.

They drink after games. Did some players do it as a performance enhancer? So there are some people who need the hair of the dog for afternoon games. David, this is what I would say. is not common, okay? I have heard of it in basketball. I have heard of it in baseball. I have never heard of it in football, and I wouldn't believe that it's possible at that position. If you're saying shit-faced drunk, this is a person who does not have their proper motor skills. This is not, if you tell me someone's been drinking a little bit, fine. You sell me someone still a little bit

drunk from the night before, fine. But if you're playing a one o'clock game, if you're playing a four o'clock game. I understand he's playing on the West Coast. He played most of his game. But shit-faced drunk. He's not defining shit-faced drunk the way I'm defining shit-faced drunk. If that's in any realm of possible. He wasn't stumbling, I assume. We can go look at

videotape and people will now. I doubt, everyone will examine his games. Pablo could look at each one. I doubt that he was... They did lose eight games. There's no way that's true. He specifically lost eight games and he was shit-faced drunk by his own admission. He had no picks that year either. Also,

PFF, this is according to Ian Hart's, PFF had him dead last in pass a rating allowed at 131.8 when targeted in 2011. And he only had, he didn't have met, he stinks. He only had a couple seasons with zero picks, and that was one of them. Okay, so you guys are saying that now, all right, so you guys are saying that this is true based on the stats, that there was an NFL cornerback. All right, let me hear the behavior of someone who may have been shit-faced drunk is the more that we're finding out here. If Pablo can be fooled by AI, then you guys can be fooled by the lies of players being told. on social media. It is not possible to play

an NFL game as a cornerback if you are the way I describe or define shit face drunk. That's a person. It's a person who's stumbling around. I'm with Dan. He has to be exaggerating, Dan. To your point,

I'm with you. It feels like semantics. He probably drank. He's drunk. It's like, oh, I'm really messed up. Shitface, you're stumbling around. You can't follow anyone over the field. Greg Cody falling into bushes. Zaz, you know what I'm learning from Quentin Jammer? Not a drinker.

Oh, Amateur Hour? He thinks, oh my God, I'm tripped. I'm so drunk. I had this Barton James or whatever. This wine cooler. Oh, white wine spritzer. Oh, that's a play a football game. I think you guys are playing Quentin Jammer right now.

I was reading other exchanges that he had on Twitter, and he said he used to have two tequila bottles basically at his locker in his bag every single game. Okay. So a lot of different size to the tequila bottle. Yeah, I like, I like the levels. What, I mean, what are the levels of drunk? Because is shitface the most drunk? Of course.

Where does that right? Blackout. Blackout is the last one, right? Blackout. Blackout is. I'm sorry. I didn't know. I'm on it. Okay.

Yeah, so I would say, I think, I'm sorry, Dan. I would say that it would start with buzzed, right? That's, you're buzzed. Then you get to, what is that? Then I think you're drunk. No, no, no. Tipsy somewhere there. Tipsy, there's nice.

I'm feeling nice. That's what we all want to be. Lest you overlook the bona fides of one Amin al-Hass, and we all learn together. He is a world-renowned bar patron. Here's the science. A bar rescue podcast. Get it wherever you get a podcast.

It comes out every Tuesday. I do believe we should create a hierarchy here, and you're on the path to something because... Drunk Tears? Barfing. Barfing is somewhere... Throw-up drunk is somewhere after shit-face, but blackout, I do believe, is the last stop here.

But shit-faced is... Dead. Can I... Overdose, yeah. Nicholas Cage and leaving Las Vegas, yes. So this reminds me, actually. So Dan Jenkins, who you may recall is one of the great college football, sports

writers of all time. He actually did a 10 stages of drunkenness that I just discovered as I'm frantically Googling what are the levels of drunkenness. According to Dan Jenkins, we have the ability to put some sound underneath this. Number one, witty and charming. Fanfare. But I think you want to do it. 10 to 1.

I think you just ruined it. No, no, no, no. This is escalating. It's escalating. It's escalating. That would be 10 what you just gave that. Okay, yeah. Number 10 was a winning and a charm.

Number nine, rigid. Come on. Number nine. Number nine, rich and powerful. Very good. It's a terrible list. This is a bad list. This is a bad list.

What is this list? What is this list? Clairvoyant. Number six. Dinner. Number five, we all realized this was a bad choice at about the same time. Number four, you've got to see it through. Number three, you drink up the Anola Gay.

I hope that's the breaking news sound in which we get some morning of readings to do. Number two. Witty and Charning Part 2. That was number three. Number one, number two. Invisible. Number seven. Bulletproof.

A terrible list. Pablo realized, Pablo found the list. Google did. He's one of the greatest sports writers of all time. It's a bad list. Oh, no. Will Smith has joined Team USA for the world baseball classic in 2026. Can we talk about how banks are still acting like it's 1994, fees on fees on fees.

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For additional terms and responsible gaming resources, see dkng.com slash audio. Limited time offer. Dan Lebatard. Go peepat. Go pee. This is the Dan Lebatar show with the Stugats. Pablo, take us in, inside of your inner monologue. When did you realize?

Because I heard the nerve. Benevolent. I heard, he's not playing the same game that we're playing. I heard the nerves in your voice on somewhere around number nine. When your voice started shaking? When he's got to pull the rink cord. From its lack of confidence. So has Bryce Treg.

I don't know that full. Yo, that's my gimmick. He's really good, Tony. He's really good. It was actually when he referenced the Anola Gay, and I was like, this is not going to play in the room. You guys know what the Anola Gay is? No, we don't.

Would Rod First have been better than Hog first? The sister of Ben Gay is all I can think of. The Anola Gay was a ship that got redacted during some of the recent censorship that was going on in the government around the word gay. I mean, what did you have here or elsewhere? We dropped the atomic bomb. That's what the Nolgay was.

It was the bomber that dropped the first atomic bomb. Did you know that before it got redacted? We move on. I mean, what did you have here? I've got their levels of drunk, Dan. A better level than Dan Jenkins. Benevolent isn't on it? No benevolent.

I'll hold on a second. Zaz, go through there and see what penalty fits for Pablo there and let's kick him out of the room for a couple of minutes based on going to a Dan Jenkins list that he hadn't vetted before he started reading it. Find the penalty that gets Pablo the hell out of this room. Minor penalty, two minutes. Accidental

racism. No. Caz, Caz, Caz, you can do so much. What happened? You had five choices. You got a hundred choices in front of you. That's not one of them.

In fairness, you know, LaGay was a problematic, yeah. character in the story of the japanese people so stopping the show okay there it is uh another one of these has joined team usa for the upcoming world baseball classic he gave him positive reinforcement is i shouldn't have given him i should not have given him any access to power i mean what is the what go ahead how many do you have in the uh the tiers of buzzed I've got nine, nine levels. All right.

So you couldn't come up with a 10th? No. You have Greg Cody on there? I don't. I should. There you go. There's your 10. Number 10.

That's number 10. All right. All right. So it starts with buzzed. Solid. Good answer. Then you're tipsy. Then you're nice.

As I said before. That's where you want to be. Same is feeling good? Yeah. Then you're drunk. That's when you take that one shot after you're nice and you're like, I'm trying to maintain, but you could never maintain, you cross over to drunk. Then, obnoxious.

We all know, though. Then brownout. What's brownout? Brownout is you're functional, but you're not all the way there. But, like, people would not be able to know that you're absolutely out of your mind because you're functional, but the reality is you're out of your mind. After brownout, you get the shit-faced. You skipped over.

the strip club. Trying to be inclusive. After shit face, you get blackout. How's that not the end? Because then there's one more level, leaving Las Vegas. And then Great Cody. No belligerent.

Much better than Dan Jenkins's list. What about who wants Taco Bell? What about? I'm good to drive. somewhere. Whoa, who said that? It was before buzzed. I wanted I wanted to get to a couple of the transactions, not just in baseball, because I wanted to ask you what

Kyle Schwerber is going to get, David, but before we do that, I wanted to get from Amin, what do you think is going to happen with Jha and Yannis? Something is going to happen. Do you expect both of those players to be with their teams, yes or no, by the time the trade deadline

happens? Jha, No, like, everything has been set up, as I said, from before the season started. You can't have a coach run a system that your star player hates unless you just don't care about your star player. So as soon as all these frictions came out earlier in the year, I said, by logic, they absolutely just don't care about John anymore. Is he hurt? He is hurt. Well, yes. Well, so you know what I'm asking.

Yes. I would say yes. I think he is hurt. Because playing is always better than not playing. They're not, you know, waiting another six days, December 15th, and they want to make sure Jod doesn't get, you know, for real hurts. Oh, no, no, I don't think they're holding them back. No.

No, look, it's obvious, like I said, this is just someone who does not factor into their future thinking. And so this is where we're at there. When it comes to Yannis, it's a more interesting question because, again, they maintain that nothing has changed. And then also part of this is, are there, what kind of, offers are coming across the table. They learn from the Dallas Maverick situation. We're going to do this. We got to have the absolute highest caliber auction going on. Can you help me with precedence for what it is we're witnessing on John Moran's front? I don't have a lot of examples

off the top of my head of somebody who a couple of years ago is being talked about as possible face of the league. They're obviously ascending. Memphis might be a challenger to Golden state and then a couple of years later there aren't drug problems there are maturity problems and that player can now be had for pennies on the dollar what are the comps there like what give me all the precedent that you guys have on this is going to be the face of the league we're going to put it up there with anthony edwards oh never mind he was before anthony edwards is the guy who came in and filled the vacuum because john morant could not stop getting in trouble that very few people had sympathy for it's stunning to be the guy who like

I don't want to dismiss his fans who, I assume, still exist somewhere, but, like, it's just remarkable how widely unpopular John Morant has become entirely because he's been doing stuff that just it ranks as just dumb-ass stupid. Like, that is... Isn't that how you become wildly unpopular? No, because... By brandishing guns on live Instagram,

by disrespecting your coach, your organization, by not being a winner, by being physically hurt half the time. He and Zion Williamson, to me, are now on the same. page. They are just two buses. But no matter, the part that I guess I'm asking you, Amin, is to help me a young player with such obvious physical gifts and explosion that all of us are saying, I can't wait to see what this becomes. Is it going to be what takes over the league? A couple of years later, can't play. Grant Hill. But can't, okay. Ben Simmons. Grant Hill. Yeah, that's another good one. Brandon Roy. was another good one. I mean, a lot of times these examples aren't oh, what a dumbass. It's usually

he got hurt again and again and again and again. And so there are a lot of names like that Penny Hardaway is another one. I mean I felt like that whole post Jordan the first time, Arrow was all these guys who had potential, but then they got hurt and they couldn't live off. Forgive me though. I am making a distinction here

though. Injury to me doesn't qualify in this conversation. It's random. It's guy can't play. So it's been Doesn't have value as a player, and it's not because he's hurt. And when Zaz asks, Amin, is he hurt? I don't know if he's asking physically or emotionally, but the answer is yes. Whatever's happening there with John Morant.

He's hurt in a way that doesn't seem physical. He's not a player people want right now because they don't trust him, and I don't have a lot of comps for that that aren't drug-related. Milton Bradley. Dan, the reason for Jha, right, because it's complicated. Injury is a part of his story. He hasn't been available in part because he gets hurt quite often. He doesn't have the biggest frame.

Style of play is a problem because his inability to shoot consistently makes the game a little bit more of a liability, more tough to build around than what we're seeing from the other great guards of his position, who they can all shoot. And then it's like the seemingness. of do you get it? I don't even think the problems off the court are as big of an issue where the problem is he doesn't seem to understand

that it's a problem and the people around him do not behave as though it's a problem. And so those are the problems. But if John Morant were healthy or if John Morant through the course of these injuries had come back with a heater for a jump shot,

man, those conversations, people are willing to look past a lot. I'll quote the great then Mike Dan Tony who says, that I'll play Satan if he can hit a jump shot. Like this idea of like, oh, my God, he was brandishing guns on Instagram live. NBA people don't care about that shit for real. They care when it affects your availability.

Care when they're also not a good player anymore. Right, like they care, or that you're hurt or that. But all of those are potentially in play right now with Shaw. Let me put this way. If Yannis had a flashing guns on Instagram scandal, you guys think, well, no, not anymore. Of course, everyone would leave. for it. Okay, but I just

the thing that I just want to stop you on because I really have, I'm having trouble with this even as you guys name names okay, Zaslo's saying, can't play anymore. Like, is not good anymore of John Morant is crazy and

it's also not inaccurate, but the part I wanted to ask Amin about the game that John Morant is physically playing is hard not just because of his body type and not just because the game has changed so much that if you don't have a jump shot at his size you're really not very serviceable in that league the other part that has been affected over the course of the last two years is how physically it hard it is to always land on

that floor how hard it is to get foul shots how hard it is to play the way that he plays uh and so when you guys say can't play anymore you guys aren't going to find a whole lot of non-injury division oh i know that guy's going to be a superstar athletically and then three years later oh Never mind. I don't agree with Zaz on that. I think he absolutely can be a transcendent player. It's just it's harder to build around when you can't shoot because that means everybody else has to be able to shoot, including your big.

To me, the bigger question is, can he stay healthy? He's out right now with a calf strain. We're seeing everywhere around the league, everyone's being very cautious when it comes to these calf strains. So that's a question. The way he's played earlier this year, obviously it's in quasi-protest of the way. his coach wants to play the game of what's being asked of him. And again, that goes back to my, I don't think he gets it, or maybe he does,

because as we've said many a time on the show, in the NBA, the way you get traded, you don't hold out, you come up and you show up and you make a stink, you make a mess. But doesn't that then seem like the worst possible fit for the Miami Heat, which fetishizes culture and players who get it? Like, no one embodies the opposite of what you guys delusionally think is heat culture. I think less. No one is less heat culture for that reason than John Morant. Yeah, but he's the guy that...

I think they want another Jimmy Butler. That's why they're not trading John. Go ahead, Tony. No, what I was going to say, too, the NBA has evolved into, are you a three-point shooter, you get a three-point shot, or you get a shot at the hoop?

And every single season of Jaws career, he's taking less and less shots at the hoop by percentage, and it's not close. Like, it's big-time jumps of 5%, 10%, 15%, where at some point he was shooting 45 to 50% of his shots of the hoop, and now it's in like the 20s or 15s. So it doesn't get to the basket anymore. Yeah, that's the part I'm talking about when I, if all of a sudden, John Morant,

the distinction that the two of you are making between Zaz saying isn't any good anymore and Amin saying can still be transcendent, not if he's not willing to go neck first to the rim 20 times a game, he can't be transcendent. I mean, if he's, if he's decided he's. He's been paid enough that he doesn't want any more to fall on the floor and is going to take jump shots. His jump shots is not good enough for him to be transcendent anymore. Yeah, I mean, and I think that all comes back down to his comfort level where he's at. And is he incapable of getting to the rim or is this a conscious decision where he's making it.

But to go back to what David said, oh, they don't want another Jimmy Butler. They'll take another Jimmy Butler if they're going to get to the finals two times. If you're going to compete at the highest level. He's not bringing them to the finals. Come on. No, hold on. You would have said the same thing about Jimmy Butler six years ago. You would have said the same exact.

I know because everybody on this show said it when I told them he's a superstar. They're like, yeah, he'll be a superstar. But the reality is talent wins in this league. And Pablo, you said Miami fetishizes the, you know, rigidness and all that. You know what else they fetishize? Second chances, reclamation projects. This organization. It's like a third chance for John.

They love, well, it's second chance because anything that happens in your first organization, you steamrolling everybody. When you get somewhere else, that's when you realize, oh, I'm expendable. And so that's usually when you get the best version of someone is when they get to that next opportunity. But to answer the question, like, yeah, like they really have a track record of getting guys

that people are giving up on, either because of injury or because of attitude or whatever it is, and getting pretty much a lot of success out of it. Don Lebertard. While I was gone, a third Zagaki was born and I think I heard, correct me if I'm wrong here, Jeremy trying to partake in a fourth Zagaki

and I am here for a future where I am surrounded by a chorus of clucking Zagaki. Stugats. You know what it means when you have four Zagakis then? You don't have one. This is the Dan Levitar show with the Stugats. Getting the best version of them, I would say that probably Mike Ryan, who hasn't watched a whole lot of heat basketball over the course of the last two years, I would guess that he probably was arguing that James Hardin and Kyrie Irving weren't culture guys. And I imagine they would have done pretty well in heat uniforms, both of them.

Yeah, we've done this before. I guess Russell Westbrook, I think most people were kind of anticipating what I think, some of the conversation around John Morant is, which is not only is he the occasional malcontent, but he's also highly reliant on his athleticism. I will say, Russell Westbrook and John Morant, I mean, you can back this up. Built very differently. And I think Russell's athleticism probably lasted longer than most people would handicap. But I think that's a real thing. I think that culture fit is a real thing. But everybody would concede as you have the Janus and Jha thing, no matter who the Miami Heat would potentially give up.

if they were to acquire both of those players. Fit, culture, all those discussions being had, nothing matter. They automatically become the favorite in the Eastern Conference, I think. Mike, you're asking, should I get the Lamborghini or should I get the Porsche? And you're saying, why not both? That's right. Okay. Yeah, sure.

I think if you're worried about acquiring John Morant and what it does to your locker room culture, you're going to give up some pieces, maybe not as many as you would think because it's value. there is an argument to be had, like, guys, like, this might be the time to go after John Morant, as everyone's trying to keep their powder dry, trying to see what the offer might be for Janus. Now's a great time to show up like a thief in the night and take John Morant. But if you're going to give up plenty of assets to acquire Janus and some assets to acquire John Morant, what is your locker room culture anyways? It's whatever your head coach dictates because the guys that make up your culture are now gone.

Who's the last guy who was a poor cultural home? fit out the gate in Miami. That they traded for, that they gave something up for? They went out and got. Hassan White'side. Husson White's. And even that one was like that was off a squad. Deion Waders. Deon Waders.

Smush Parker. You see what I'm saying? These are not... We're just listing bad contracts. Well, no. I'm listing bad attitudes. They're listing bad attitudes, but these are all people who were off the scrap heap. When they go out and get people and we had this conversation, I think off air a couple of weeks ago, Dan. You remember this? We're talking about

Tim Hardaway, was Tim Hardaway, a senior? Was he acquired at a lower rate because his knees were bad, or was it because he had a bad attitude? He was benched. Right? Like, there was a vibe about Tim Hardaway. He came here to heat lifer, right? So Alonzo Morning had friction with Larry Johnson

and forced his way out of Charlotte. Came here, Heat lifer. They tend to get guys who the world has said, oh, it's too much of a headache. and those guys tend to buy in. Shaquille O'Neal came in the best shape of his life. Now, does it last forever? No, we saw what happened with Jimmy.

We saw what happened to Shaq. At some point, people wear out that welcome. But this idea that they would never get Job because John doesn't fit heat culture, like, that's what he culture's all about, is getting guys who are outlaws and renegades and rogues. Antoine Walker also probably qualifies in terms of some of that. I wanted to get into some sports business with Dave.

The Boston Red Sox have traded for relief pitcher Johann Oviedo in exchange for Prospect, Eostinson, the password, Garcia, David. I'm doing a thing. If you don't have breaking news, do not interrupt me with stuff that's not breaking news just so that you can take your character. No, you do a timely thing. You do not do a recycled bullshit thing from three days ago. If it's a breaking new sound, respect the breaking new sound. Junior Kamenaro has joined the Dominican Republic for the World Baseball Classic. Don't try and trick me by giving me a beloved Tampa Bay Ray with your news item.

Get in here with better news than that. You liked to go, didn't you, Dan? I did like it, yes. As soon as I heard his name, I was very excited. He's exceptional. I love watching him play baseball. The thing that I wanted to get to with David is tell me where college football specifically is going when Georgia is seeking $390,000 in damages from a defensive end who went to Missouri instead named Damon Wilson and the Michigan State program is getting $401 million, $290 million of it for their athletic department. Where is all this headed when we're making up all the rules on this? as we go along. Well, those are two different things, and we're not making up the rules. There are new rules that are in play.

The lawsuit, that's a day old. Listen to yesterday is nothing personal, but just know, when you sign a contract, you have to fulfill a contract. So just leave it at that. And if you don't, you can get sued. When a player agrees to take money because they're now professionals, which is what Mike Wander, whatever, what all of you wanted was for these kids to get paid, well, guess what?

Now you have to be a big boy. When you get paid, you have to do your job. And you can't transfer to Missouri, which this kid did. And now George is saying, give me my money back. There's a damages claim in the contract. Pay it. Reasonable. It's going to be an interesting lawsuit because these players need to pay attention.

The other issue is we all try to every college, Miami does the same thing. Mike is a part of it. Everyone's raising money. It's called development. You're developing to endow science chairs and to endow faculty positions. you're doing it to raise money for the athletic department to raise money for the general fund that the president can run of a university. And when you get a big donation like that, it goes to the budget, a percentage and a bunch of it goes into capital, meaning we're going to use this money

to build a facility. We're going to use this money to pay down debt. We're going to use this money to reinvest. And I want to point out the last thing about why these schools are all taking this much money. There's a new law that passed. And people are saying it only impacts Harvard and Yale, but it's not true. there's now a larger tax on earnings made by a college endowment a college endowment is money that a college has to do financial aid for students it's money that a college has to fund its operations when your tax rate goes up that's less money for financial aid less money to endow a science chair so you have to go out and get boosters to give it get famous alums to give it

or anybody to give it so that's why you're reading about more of these large gifts we are talking about the college football playoff ad nauseum, and I can't honestly fathom the idea that as recently as five years ago, if I had suggested to you guys, hey, you know that Ohio State is going to have a payroll

for its players of about $20 to $25 million. It was five years ago. That wasn't that long ago. Once the money starts pouring in from boosters who want to do what Phil Knight did at Oregon, where just rich people want to have athletic department toys, I told

yesterday, Missouri and Vanderbilt and Indiana and Texas Tech just had the best seasons in program history. Vanderbilt's been playing since 1890, like, because you can get in the game like that if you have somebody who has money. But the thing that I am worried about is that in that search for more money that David is describing, at a certain point you run out of wealthy alumni who were there to give gifts. We're there to donate. Never. Then you have their kids get into the school. No, but David, the whole point is that there are. competitive advantages that some schools have that others will not. It's not an even playing field in which everybody has access to the same class of booster alumnus. And so the thing that's

happening next, which we've talked about in the sporting class for months now, is private equity. And what happens then when they are now operating every program like an actual straight-up business in which you can invest? And if the people who are putting the money into your program are investing, Dan, not because they love it because they went to the school. or because they're delusional about what it brings to them in terms of ego and glory, but because they see this as a money-making operation, there will be decisions made when you're a stakeholder in a business of college sports, where you're making the call,

you're putting pressure on the athletic director and the coaches to do things, not because it's going to help you win, but because you want to increase the profit margin of the business, which is a different conflict of interest. And is it worse than AI? This is just progress. It's also bad. Everything's bad to you. I'm not interested actually in talking about the scary portion of it.

I'm actually interested in just asking you, if we've gone in five years from, you can't imagine these guys being paid to Ohio State is your champion and they've got a payroll of between 20 and 25 million. If that's what's happened in five years, I think we'd all agree that to be the champion of the second biggest sport that we have in America, any program. would pay $25 million for that. Where's this going to be in five years? Like if that's the acceleration rate for the first five years, where are we going to be in 10? It will be a professional league. It's what I've been saying since the dollar about speed. You have a payroll.

It'll be a payroll of what the revenues can withstand. Could it be $100 million, $150 million payroll for a college team? Of course. But then the question is, do you ever cap the salaries, right? Which means you have to collectively bargain with employees, which means you need contracts, which means you need unions, which means you're back in the place that has pro sports also dealing with the same shit we've been talking about for decades. Like, it's becoming the same thing. Yep.

And that is not great. You wanted it. I didn't want it in this way. I think it's just untenable to not pay the athletes. You're too much. You only want what you can have that's perfect for you. It's ridiculous. That's right.

He didn't realize that AI was a thought. threat until he was fooled by a catcake. We're going to kick it back over to Miami here for the final hour. I want to thank you guys again for your love and for your friendship. And I will tell the audience as well, if you're interested in being charitable during this holiday season, if you want to make Christmas for some kids who would not necessarily have toys otherwise, Levitard AF is doing a toy drive, and we're doing it until December 15th. and it's just really easy to go to lebitardaf.com, and the Amazon wish list is there for you,

and you will be going directly through a charity that we have vetted. You will be getting directly to kids. Your money will go to making kids happier this Christmas. So please help us with that as we go up to December 15th. Thank you, Pablo. Thank you, David. I love you both. Miami will take it from here.