The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz - Hour 1: The Magic Crate of Content Saves the Day

Episode Date: March 13, 2025

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and expert partnership. And man am I excited about the players. The players, it's not a major, but it should be a major. Yeah, absolutely right. It's the players major. Yeah. It's the players championship. This is one of the most beautiful courses in all of golf. That's hole in golf? Yes. The island green. The

island green. It's the only hole in golf that I have immortalized in the t-shirt that I bought. Seventeen at TPC Sawgrass is special. It's where tournaments are won and lost. You'll get the occasional electrifying hole in one. This is a beautiful course with a beautiful hole. You have it on a t-shirt? I do. A long sleeve navy blue. Might have been the day to wear it. I love this tournament. You wear it on Thursday. This is an appointment viewing for me. I have a special relationship with TPC Sawgrass. Whenever this tournament is on TV it's

always during the Dole Drums of March right before we get going on the NCAA tournament. One day a year. I sit in a hot tub and I watch golf. It's always the players. It's uber relaxing. I love how this tournament can swing wildly from one hole to another. The players get up for it because it's their championship after all. This for me, and I know that we have like the the Waste Management Open around Super Bowl time. That's a people's major, this is a players major. This for me really kickstarts PGA season. This means occasionally I'm gonna have to lock in that

DK contest, occasionally I'm gonna have to stay on top of the group chat because now golf has really started. The seventh at Pebble Beach, I'm trying to think of other holes that would compete for this title But they're not it's not the seven it's not that island green though Really the seventh at pebble Beach for people that don't know it's the part three where you hit it into the ocean essentially Yeah, and it's like 130 yards But you have to hit like a three iron because the wind is so crazy. Oh, it's the eighth hole Hey, is it the oh my bad? I mean, there's there's a bunch at Augusta. The 17th hole at the

waste management, the people make that hole. But this is particularly challenging. This is where championships are won and lost. It's right before the tournament wraps up. This hole is always of consequence. Yeah. We have dramatic moments in golf that have happened here. A lot of illustrious winners in this one. And it's really when players round into form because Gus is around the corner. This is when the guys and there, there've been some questions in golf. Scheffler was straight up on fire to close the season last year. A little bit of a struggle to get going. And one of the things that I got my eyes on is guys that have remained active

during the quieter part of the season with TGL and whatnot, they're actually sharper in these tournaments right now and performing quite well. You think he could three-peat on this? I mean, I haven't seen the form. Sheffler of the field, I'm going with the field. I haven't seen the form there. I gotta see them lock back in there. They're guys like, I like what Rory's displayed lately, Keegan Bradley, Clark, I mean, he was a house of fire to close the final round.

Jason Day played well last week. Yeah. Golf is one of those sports. Jason Day's not going to win at all, but I can see him playing well this week. Golf is one of those sports. Look, I don't really know what goes into a good golfer other than the score, right?

So one of the things that I've seized on in taking action is just making sure and building out my daily fantasy teams is who's in good form right now? Because form in golf tends to stick around for a couple of tournaments. So maybe Scheffler can start anew, but I just need to see better form from Scottie Scheffler. Let me see these golfers.

Like it's Sheffy, he doesn't have his bag. Like it's like Rory. Oh man. Like who does that? Look at Ricky, who walks in with their own stuff? Like I would have swore they had seven assistants and that they didn't see their clubs, they see it at the range, they show up to the range,

the clubs are there, I just love the idea of Rory walking up to his hotel room with his clubs. I mean they got their own rental cars, they got their own stuff in there. The players. You're right, the players. I guarantee you at Augusta, they're not walking up with their own bags.

Only at the players. The players. The players. The players. The players. The players. It's a beautiful course to watch on television as well. Yeah.

It's just the game pops, the island green specifically, but this entire course pops. The weather is always immaculate this time of year at TPC Sawgrass. It's a pure joy to watch this tournament. You're guaranteed better weather at this one than you usually are for Augusta, because that's a little further up north and occasionally the weather can get a little wonky up there. This is certainly way better than the British Open which is essentially just taupe.

You're constantly fiddling with your settings on your TV. That's where golf started, man. Golf should not be played with 40 mile per hour winds and your knees deep in the rough. It's just a terrible viewing experience You can't even work in a proper golf now TPC sawgrass it exists for the golf now the golf You'll you'll take the golf nap hot players. You'll take it from like 7 to 12 Say a hole 7 to hole 12 and then you're good

You don't miss much and you still got 17 the island green ahead of you not the players. I got a top five holes Yeah Island green ahead of you the players I got a top five holes Yeah Number five yep in the raw Paul for 18 on the Blue Monster course Not really one that I thought you would Look at you sticking to the facts you're out there every weekend right man, I'm rich It's a great hole I've birdied it before from the tips. Yeah. It's just a par 5.

It's just a shocking admission from down the middle Roy. I did not see that one coming. I'm a golf guy. Down the middle Roy, by the way, has nothing to do with politics. Or golf. It's his golf game. Yeah, exactly. Right down the middle of the fairway.

Roy's slice in golf is an interesting thing to behold, because it's not a slice. It just goes straight to the right from his track. Most slices start straight and peel to the right. Roy, it just darts to the right. I hit golf carts, basically. You've hit cars. Yeah.

Not golf cars. Cars. Cars. In the parking lot. The sound you hear, whew. It just sounds different coming off this car. Swings so hard. I got distracted.

I'm sorry. Number four, the Waste Management Stadium Hall. Yeah, 17th with the Waste Management. People kept going there. Yep. Number three, at Augusta National, the Pod 312. Like, that's the start of it? The scenic hall with the bridge.

Yeah. Number two, Pebble Beach, part three. The ape hole. Is the one in Jim Nance's backyard? No, it is. Without the wind. Yeah. You're shooting from a cliff, basically.

You're shooting down. You're overlooking the hole. You're shooting down onto the cliff. I believe it's the whole Dwayne Wade got a hole in one on. Yeah. Have you ever played this hole? I've played Bewell Beach, but it was before I was really, like I was young.

I went with my dad when we were. So I did play it, but I wish I played it later in life. was before I was really like I was young and went with my dad when we so I did Play it, but I wish I played it later in life Beautiful course and number one at TPC sawgrass part 317 Hey friends, it's Jeremy here and now is as important a time as ever to make sure that you have everything in order financially. I know that's something I'm doing as we approach tax season and really trying to start this year on the right foot.

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My pay eligibility requirements apply. Credit limits range $20 to $500. $2 fee applies to get funds instantly. Chime checking account required. Go to chime.com slash disclosures for details. Don Lebatard. Come with the frog here, live from Metalog Media Studios here in Miami. Stugatz!

The Germans are advancing on France in World War II. This is The Don Lebatard Show with the Stugatz! If you've been listening here for a while, you have heard me really be fascinated over the years with the way that in the last 25 years of news someone like Jon Stewart on a comedy channel could rise to a trustworthy source when you're not totally trusting where your news and information comes from and so you lean on a comedian and I saw you know all the polls I've told you about that made him the most trusted newsman in America over all the anchor people who were doing the newscasts. In the modern age it's been really cool to

watch Bill Burr navigate the comedy space and the acting space because he's doing Glenn Gary Glen Ross on Broadway, he's directing films, but he's also speaking for the everyman on some stuff when it comes to going after Elon Musk, or going after healthcare greed, or going after the places where people just can't afford to keep up. Bill Burr has been a stronger voice on Elon Musk

than almost everyone in America, and it's been like amazing to watch America connect with a comedian that whether you like his style or not or whether you think he's too angry, he really has broken through as somebody who can master even what people are regarding his difficult comedic times. Are we calling Bill Burr a plagiarist? Would he pledge as well? I don't know what you're saying there. Stugatz was harder on Elon Musk before anyone was.

And now here comes Bill Burr, horning in on Stugatz's territory. I just think it's cool that Bill Burr is wading into this, because as we know, most comedians these days are not exactly going to the left on their comedy, they're going to the right on their comedy and toward their audience.

And we've had this conversation electorally, does the left need their version of Joe Rogan, is Bill Burr that? I don't really care, I'm not interested in that conversation because I think it makes it too simplified in what the issues are in the voting delegate. I just think it's great that you have someone who is out there authentically just expressing

how he feels about it and relating to so many people who are so frustrated, but not doing it by stoking the fires of, oh, hey, go look at the trans community, they suck, or go look at this community, they suck. It's not punching down at anybody, it's punching up, which is the thing we've been arguing about with other famous comedians

for the last how many years now? This is finally someone punching up at the establishment in a real way. I don't think it's punching up or punching down. I think what you're witnessing is this is comedy. Comedy pushes back at whatever the conventional norms are. And so the conventional norms for the prior, probably six, seven, eight years,

we're moving more and more to this, you can't joke about that, you can't joke about this. And so comedians are wired to like, oh watch me joke about this. And so now what's happening is because everything is shifting and the power shifted and now the culture is shifted You're seeing bill burr being like that one of the first guys like well

You can't joke about that because now those that's what's in charge now And he's like watch me joke about this what a quack. I don't know that you could Argue that punching up or things or sure I get that part of it You have to also apply the fact that punching up or down is Or sure, I get that part of it. You have to also apply the fact that punching up or down is very subjective. I just think that when we look at what that shift has been, I would not argue that over the last seven or eight years, it's shifted conversationally the direction that you're talking about.

If anything, this has been a result of the last, since 2016, a shifting further and further in our conversation away from what we had established the decade before. Because this is sort of acting like all these different communities sort of became a part of the conversation only once Trump was elected. And if anything, it was that he used a lot

of those communities to get elected the first time, and they've only become a deeper part of the conversation since. So seeing as they've been the sort of easy target within comedy for the last now five to ten years it's interesting to see another perspective being taken and this isn't even in stand-up by the way these are just in interviews these are just on podcasts these These are just, you know, there was one interview where he was, was it a sneaker shop? Like, there's random jokes being thrown,

and that's, it's kind of fun. It's different than what we've seen from a lot of mainstream comedians as of late, and I think that's kind of fun. I mean, that Musk. I don't think podcasts, like, the comedians I mean, that Musk. I don't think podcasts, like the comedians I know, that's not like, okay guys, jokes aside, let's take our clown makeup off

and let's have a serious, they're not doing that. No, that's still, it's not different from stand-up. But why are we seeing it come from Bill Burr and not a lot of other places, right? Or a lot of other- We've always kind of seen it from Burr though. Comedians as famous as Bill Burr, I guess is more other places, right? Or a lot of other- We've always kind of seen it from Byrne. Comedians as famous as Bill Burr, I guess is more the thing, right?

Because we only have these conversations when it's one of the five to 10 most famous comedians. If Mulaney was doing something, we obviously talked about Chappelle over and over and over and over and over again here. I mean, he has regular platforms. Yeah, I do think it's still early in this. We're not even two months into the new administration, but Bill Burr was held up by the right often during the last administration.

In fact, his Netflix movie was championed by the right for its themes and he was always kind of held up as someone that would push against this cancel culture. So he's equal opportunity. I just think it's a little bit magnified because the left is chasing now and he's always kind of remain the same guy Just take that in your rocket and smoke it so and I would argue that again, these are most of the comedians you're talking about are They have things have shifted around them even even Rogan

And I'm not like I don't I'm not say oh Rogan's right about everything or Smarter Brilliant or whatever but prior to like 2019 I would say Most people most people on the right would be like Rogan's a lefty liberal thing like the weird thing I know this is it's forever. We're just like 9-eleven was something that changed How people view everything covid is is gonna do that forever. Because the number of people who were like, that guy's a quack, that, and then that guy would say something like, I don't know about this vaccine.

And all of a sudden, everyone on the right was like, I always knew you were cool. And everyone on the left was like, you're dead to me. That's what happened for a lot of comedians, a lot of people, man, I remember, I just think about this other day, Bradley Beal andadley bill kareem like i don't know what the about the the backs and all of these republicans would like to ask i really don't die he's great

like kareem erving right everything he had espoused up into that point would be the most anti republican thing i see it similar with a lot of comedians where it's like like mike said bill burr was was complaining about cancel culture and like everything being too sensitive and right-wing people are like,

yeah, that guy's cool or whatever. And then what happens is he continues to do his humor, which isn't shifting, but what happens is it's just easy for people to either co-opt or denounce based on, wait a second, you made fun of something that I like or that I believe in. Comedians are inherently at their best

anti-establishment, period, right? Like they're poking fun at the establishment. What it's been though is that the right, the present establishment right has branded themselves as anti-establishment and so it's been really easy for comedians to shift to the right, be establishment, sucking up to all of these people who are establishment,

painting themselves as anti-establishment. It's interesting to see Bill Burr genuinely be that in a time where that hasn't been the case as much in modern comedy when Joe Rogan is leading the way. Yeah, I'm curious to see where podcasting and comedy go, just because naturally, the cool people are always anti-establishment. What happens when those cool people

now find themselves on the establishment? They're friends with the establishment. To draw parallels, it was weird. Our show always railed against ESPN and then we find ourselves in ESPN. It took us a little bit to find out how to be anti-establishment from within the establishment. I think it's gonna be really challenging

for some acts that are a little one note, and you'll see pop culture kind of move in the direction that it always does, especially in this country, which always seems to be a pendulum. Like, I think also sometimes people don't catch what's happening. Sometimes people don't understand what's happening, they just see the bland optics on the top.

I'll give you a great example. Andrew Schultz interviewed Trump when he was on the campaign trail. And everybody was, oh my God, I can't believe Schultz would do that, da da da. And then I said, did you watch the interview? Like, well no. If you watch it, what he did was,

like it was subservient the whole time. They were making fun of Trump, but doing it in a way that Trump didn't pick up on it. Because they praise him for stuff, and then throw in some stuff. It's crazy that stuff. That's actually out of the playbook from foreign leaders. Be super complimentary, he only sees the compliments,

and then with policy, cut him a little bit, and he doesn't notice. But they're doing that in the middle of the thing. And I can't count how many friends are like, oh, it doesn't matter here either. They said well No, he was just sucking up to him and I'm like he was making fun of him to his face Or they said what doesn't matter because they gave him a platform. I said well at the end of the day This is the part where I do agree like you know if Theo Vaughn has an opportunity to book the president United States

He's not gonna well that would be terrible for numbers. Of course he's gonna do it, right? Like, cause all of these guys, and this all starts with where? It starts with, once upon a time, hey, you're a comedian, you wanna make it, you better be at either the seller or the comedy store and hope that one of these TV execs sees you,

and then you get your Seinfeld, right? Or you get cast in Tommy Boy or whatever it is, or you make it to SNL. You get an SNL audition. And then like, oh, I have my half hour special on Comedy Central. Oh, I got my hour special on HBO and then Netflix, right? That was where it was.

And then all of a sudden, and one of the guys who foretold all of this, that look, these gatekeepers who are telling me that I'm not funny or I'm not good enough to have my own hour special or I'm not good enough to have my own hour special or I'm not good enough to have my own sitcom, whatever. But I see the crowds that come out when I do shows. I'm selling out everywhere, night after night, two shows a night.

It was Andrew Schultz. He told me this in like 2015. He was like, all this network stuff is dying. The audience is there. And like about, I wanna say a year or so later he put out his special for free on YouTube and it did crazy numbers. And that's what Shultz knew.

Oh, they can say you're not good enough. Doesn't matter, I have my own economy, my own industry here. And so once you've created, this is the model now for comedians. It's not, I've gotta impress the execs over down at Viacom. Now it's, oh, I just have to do something

that brings enough people to the shows and supports my content wherever it is. So if I have something, because this is the economy of the internet, doesn't matter if you hate it or you like it, as long as you have a feeling about it, that is monetarily beneficial to me. And the subversive stuff is important.

I think it's also like we've learned that nobody understands anything on deeper levels at this point when consuming media. So that's why there's so many folks who are frustrated by platforming anybody because we've learned the general audience of anything is kind of too stupid to pick up on anything deeper than the surface level. And that's why Bill Burr so directly just going after

Elon Musk with jokes is kind of fun to watch because it's not this secondhand way of doing it. It's hey man, I'm going after you, and it's clear to everyone what the intention is, which it's a shame that that's where we're at, but it's clear that context is just no longer really part of the conversation. And it's no longer important either.

Like, you'll be spoon fed. He campaigned on this and you'll nod along. Yeah, he did, this is what I voted for. And no, none of this stuff. 51st aid, Zelensky's a dictator. Even the Gulf of America was something that happened after the election. The only thing that's remained consistent that he campaigned on is concepts of a plan. But I think Andrew Schultz is very well positioned

in that. Andrew Schultz to me burst on the scene with COVID. And he proved that he could be anti establishment when the establishment was the right and he was equal opportunity. Just so happened as he fully ascended, then the left took over and again equal opportunity guy gets championed by the right, but I think he can easily pivot as he's shown in his career. Well, the thing that I find interesting about the economy of comedy, right, because especially difficult during the pandemic, you see even the best comics threatened by the inability to tour and the idea that 300 people get to make a living this way and

the streamers exist so that that comedy may boom but it's a tough way to make a living and you know you've got health insurance the self-employment of it is difficult and these guys fear not being able to make a living that way and so they have to make some choices on what's good business. Where are my customers? Where do I meet my customers where they are? And that's where comedians sometimes can end up not standing for very much, right?

Like during the modern age, you do have to make a stand on whether you're gonna interview Trump or not for the clicks, yeah. Like you do have to make that decision, and it's fine, it might be good for business, and you might choose business there, but Bill Burr is doing something that is just actively outraged as he ends,

as he begins the grumpy old man stage of his career where he's got the confidence to say whatever the bleep he wants because he knows he's as good as anyone who's ever done it. But he's been a grumpy old man his entire career. Number one, number two, Dan, I would say that when you say, oh, stand, take a stand, the only stand comedians have to make,

and I gotta quote Brad Williams on this one, ha ha or not ha ha? That's it. All they gotta do is make it funny. I know, but I'd like, the best of them that I remember for all time are the enduring ones who didn't just make it funny. They were good about,

they were the best at navigating the times. Like George Carlin isn't remembered by everyone in comedy because he didn't know how to see this stuff 50 years in advance. Josh Johnson's doing this right now with young people where he's really connected in a special place. And the reason he can do it is because from day to day, he can change his act

because the news is changing every day. So it's a da- all these people are doing is daily radio shows now all of them, the comedians have all realized, wait a minute I can just sit in front of a microphone and just work material for two hours and people will eat it up, they'll pay for it? The Dan LeBittard Show with StuGuts is sponsored by BetterHelp. Life gets busy and your mind carries it all, but just like your body needs care, so does your mental health. Therapy is an investment in clarity, in peace, in you. Let's talk numbers. Traditional in-person therapy can cost anywhere from $100 to $250 per session, which adds up fast. But with BetterHelp online therapy, you can save on average up to 50% per session.

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and 3.2 carbs per 12 ounces. Don LeBattard. If Daniel Day Lewis did it, you'd be jerking off all over yourself. Oh, come on. Yeah, I would be. Aggressive description? I mean, what is it? What is that?

I'm just saying. No, you're not just saying what! That's me. Daniel Day-Lewis does something. I see that photo of Daniel Day-Lewis looking like Lincoln before he's about to start filming Lincoln. And you know what I do? I mean, stugots. I jerk off all over myself. That's what I do. Lincoln, who you outed the other day?

Don't make this a rejoin. This is the Don LeBattar Show with the Stugats! Then, for every George Carlin, and George Carlin, you're right, for everything that you said he's remembered as, I can give you a Jerry Seinfeld, who has never done anything topical of that nature that indicates one way or another. But the ones that we respect for all time

are the Richard Pryors, the Lenny Bruces, the ones that did, that were of their time and spoke. No? I don't know, Nate Bargatze is kind of famous because he doesn't do that. Mulaney's another example. Although he has a really, really, really good bit about a horse loose in a hospital.

It's just like, again, it's who's, if you're middle of the road funny, okay, but if you're funny, man, we respect and remember these guys for being funny for making us laugh man I'll give you I'll give you another very toxic example Bill Cosby Bill Cosby's most memorable Whoa! Where did that come from? Oh my god I've never been so happy to hear that music in my life

Oh I've been happier happy to hear that music in my life. Ba da da da da da da da. Oh, I've been happier at least two dozen times. I can't do another hour on this state of comedy. Ba da da da da da da da. What Bill Burr's doing's interesting. What's the same thing? How much would I have to pay you to never talk to any of your friends again? We've done this one. It's a rerun. Why are we throwing that in?

We'll put it back in the box. I've entered to say it's not even that interesting. Just pick a new one, just pick a new one. I mean, I get plenty of people venting about Musk. I'm embarrassed by this. Would you rather your partner always talk in medieval old English or pirate slang? Ooh. Easy.

Easy. Pirate slang. Really? I was gonna say it's easy, medieval. No way, matey. Yeah. Arr. No, I can't get away with that in a fancy restaurant.

I be wanting a swig of your rum. Come on, man. Is the medieval English like with a loud obnoxious accent or is this just a subtle, right, is it all that? Listen to my words! But you can also be an affluent one. You can't really see an affluent pirate. A noble person.

Pirate, pirate is, there's no nobility in being a pirate. You can't hide the pirate, like I feel like the other voice, like old English, you could just be like, yeah, that's just the... Old English is like not, is my understanding of old English different? I'm thinking like Beowulf, like,

English that we would not recognize. I'm thinking, I'm just thinking the fight scene. You guys are thinking like Beowulf, like English that we would not find recognizable. You guys are thinking like the way Chris Whittingham talks. No, I'm just thinking the fight scene in Cable Guy. It's hard to hide a pirate. Arrr, like that's embarrassing, as soon as my wife walks in the room. No, like, why is she, arrr. Hey honey, I'm trying to buy that Tata's hat on eBay,

how much does it cost? A thousand doubloons, me lad. Tetas? It's more of a classism in medieval times. I'm genuinely confounded on what medieval is, actually. Medieval Old English, because he just did, hear ye, hear ye, which is just sort of a bugler's announcement of some sort.

That's not all medieval accents. Middle ages, yeah, that works. Hear ye, hear ye? What beyond that? It's town crier. That's not what I, I'm picturing like the 1100s. Yeah. That's what it is.

Oh, that's not English then. Well, it is, it's old English, I think. I mean, I took these classes a decade ago. So yees, a lot of yees. It's not even that, it's like Jessica said, you would not understand what they're saying. It's so common. Have you ever read Beowulf?

Yeah, it's hard to read, yes. Like I can't even think of an example of it off the top of my head. I know the one they call Beowulf. I did in high school, it was many, many years ago. The reading of Beowulf was confounding to a young lad who didn't really understand. My sister majored in medieval studies,

she has a Beowulf tattoo. Wow. That is so wack. A most unpleasant tale told. Ha ha ha. I don't know whether that was a pirate or a... It's a pirate. That was both.

I know. You landlubber. Well, that's cheating. That's not, I mean, you landlubber. Land blubber. It is lubber. I know, but he just wanted to do the blubber joke. The land, look at him.

Look how pleased the pirate is the old pirate is so pleased with his fat joke is that Revisit something from earlier this week. I wanted to sort of like just Say out loud how funny it was to hear people chanting fire Nico at Medieval Times Like I you know at this point I am starting to feel a little bad for the guy cuz like they're chanting fire you at Nico at medieval times. Like, you know, at this point, I am starting to feel a little bad for the guy because like they're chanting fire you at medieval times. Like that's rough.

But the sound and the visual was so funny. There's a joust happening. There's giant turkey legs and mead and people chanting fire Nico. Fortune does not shine on young and Harrison. What's the, what, what, give me a key when it comes to medieval, because I just asked Chad GPT to give me a medieval person talking about last night's Knicks game,

and it gave me like a whole script. I will get to that in a second, but first let's play. They were like, good sir. All right. Fire Nico! Fire Nico! Fire Nico! Fire Nico! Fire Nico! Fire Nico!

Fire Nico! The contest of last eve was most enthralling. The Knights of New York did battle against their foes with great vigor. That is much more annoying than a pirate. Yet their defenses faltered as their castle walls were laid

besieged by the most fearsome force from pilot. I'd rather have this than my wife. Arrrr! Yeah, I feel like the descriptors. Oh, their archers, all true of aim, did misfire. Bang, matey! That's much more fun. The balladees sing of miss opportunities

at the free throw line. Allow me to tell the tale of Heat Clippers from last night as a pirate, please. Our matey got around for a tale of the Heat Clippers showdown. The Miami Heat sailed into the battle against the Los Angeles Clippers, bringing fire on the court. The Heat crew, led by their swashbuckling captain,

Jimmy Butler, chat, GBT, what are you talking about? Were battling to keep their spot in the standings, while the Clippers, led by the likes of Cry Leonard and one-legged Paul George, we're ready to plunder the seas of victory. Whilst the enemy did rain down three-point volleys as they... Now I'm doing it like you said. What is that? That's a Mountie.

It's insecure, and I don't blame you because what you've just done here... I'll save you now. The clash be fierce with both sides giving it their all. The heat fired cannons from beyond the arc, but the Clippers weren't about to be left in Davy Jones' locker. He's really a good pirate. The game was tight with both teams exchanging blows

like a mighty storm at sea. In the end, it was the heat who came out victorious, outlasting the clippers with cut shots and solid defense. Bang! You guys have to agree at this point that the pirate is less aggressive than the mid- No, the other way. No, the pirate's always yelling,

I'm always on edge. But- No, the other way. No, the pirate's always yelling, I'm always on edge. But this one, the medieval- There's a noble quality to the medieval person. It's noble right up until it's annoying two sentences in. I think you're just doing a me thing. Me? Because you're off on this one.

No, I'm a nobleman. I'm playing a nobleman, it's in the name. So I told Chad GVT- He's got scurvy. Do the game from last night,, it's in the name. So I told Chad GVT, do the game from last night, and it's kind of cheating, because it says, ahoy matey, here's the tale of the Miami Heat's clash at the Clippers on March 12, 2025.

The Clippers set sail into Miami's waters. They're like, wait a second, this is exactly what you did the other one. Yeah, but the Clippers actually do set sail. They do, yes. But although, here are some highlights. Not often with Kawhi Leonard, though. James Harden hoisted anchor with 24 points and 11 assists.

Harden's a hard-end. Harden's a hard-end. Harden's a hard-end. Charting the course for his crew. Bogdan Bogdanovich plundered a season-high 30 points and hauled in 10 rebounds. Doesn't make any sense. Showing no mercy.

That's not the right verb there. You don't plunder that. And why is he hoisting anchors? Those are bricks. You hoist anchors, that's not, there's not touch on the hoisting of anchors. Who's a pirate's favorite basketball player? Is it Hardin?

I was gonna say Andrew McCutcheon. It's Steven Adams. Yeah. Did you guys see Steven Adams last night? He looks most like a pirate. Yes, there was a fight involving Steven Adams. Oh, I thought you said baseball player, darn. Do you guys see Steven Adams last night? Looks most like a pirate. Yes, there was a fight involving Steven Adams. No, I thought you said baseball player, darn. Do you, I'm sorry, I'm sorry,

we're boring you here, Jess. Jess is like, ah, I heard something about ball player. She's Googling Beowulf. Beowulf tattoo is wild. Do a recap of thunder seltech of Beowulf. It's actually Jare Tolkein's sketch of the dragon in Beowulf. Oh, that's my bad, then it's cool.

J.R. Tolkien. Stephen Adams, you were saying? Stephen Adams, so him and Mason Plumlee got tangled up, and Stephen Adams did something that I don't think I've ever seen a human being do before, at least not to a seven-footer. So Stephen Adams does this thing where he walks,

he's like, I'm trying to walk away, but he's walking into Plumlee. He sticks his arms under Plumlee's armpit, and that's when, like, to go, it's like, I'm just trying to move forward, I'm just trying to move forward, but that's when I realized what he was doing. He proceeded to try to lift him

with forearm strength only. Dan, I don't think you are appreciating how hard that is. This right here being the only muscles to use to pick up a seven footer and then drop them to the ground. Steven Adams, I would imagine that what keeps him in the NBA is that he is physically stronger than most human beings. And he survives as a bit of less athletic

than the average person his size, but he's stronger than everybody. Like that's how he stays on the court, is it not? Him fighting, it's the same way a Plum, it's the same way all Plumleys stay on the court. All Plumleys throughout the history of Plumliness. Steven Adams fighting Plumlee isn't terribly interesting except for if you think about fighting Steven Adams,

I imagine you would feel like you were fighting the side of a mountain or hitting something isn't terribly interesting except for, if you think about fighting Steven Adams, I imagine you would feel like you were fighting the side of a mountain or hitting something that felt like rock. Arr, gather round, matey, and let me tell you about the mighty Steven Adams of Ye Houston Rockets. This lad be a true sea dog, a beast of a man who ain't afraid to get down and dirty in the paint.

With the strength of a hundred men, he be a force to be reckoned with Fighting for every rebound like it's a treasure lost at sea Now let's do pig Latin. I'm not gonna do that Ron our Chest, okay. I don't want to do pirate shows again, I Why was there in the magic crate the same friend's question that was there from the last time the magic crate was open? He may not be a flashy swordsman

like some of the other swashbucklers in the league. Is it possible operator error? I'm just saying. That might be, no. You're the one that's pulling. Wow. I'm gonna wear this one. Wow.

I went through them earlier this week and I didn't remember that one being read. That's on me. Yeah, but the fact that it's still in there, it should have been tossed. That's true. I this is on me. Yeah, but the fact that it's still in there, it should have been tossed. That's true. I'm saying, operator error. You went through them earlier this week.

Because there was like 50 in there. I think Fuentes went rogue and put a bunch in, so I went through to make sure that they worked. So we have checks and balances and the checks and balances failed. Yeah, I did not know. So it's more than one person's fault. I had seen that question in there before,

but I never knew we did it on air. I don't like the fact that the Magic Crate of Content is something that you're going through and checking and inspecting. I thought it was a magic crate that produced its own content that wasn't governed by anyone here. Arr, gather ye round, ye scallywags, and let me tell you about the Dan Levatard show,

a crew of misfits that sail the airwaves with wild stories and raucous laughter, like a band of old pirates set in sail for chaos. At the helm, you got Captain Dan Levatard, a wise, crackin' sea dog who's never short on opinions and always ready to steer the ship into uncharted waters. He's got a sharp tongue and a knack for bringing the ruckus with his crew always falling close behind.

Bringing the ruckus. I texted my sister, send me some old English words. It's an emergency. You've got slobber in your mouth. And I believe, can you look up, please, Chum Bucket? Because we've done, we actually celebrated an international talk like a pirate day early in our careers. I'm embarrassed by it.

I'm sure it doesn't hold up. Chum Bucket, we did an interview with a pirate called Chum Bucket. And I find myself just looking at you guys. The guy from Pond Stars? Chum Bucket and I find myself just looking at you guys. The guy from Pond Stars? Chum Bucket and Captain Slappy. Captain Slappy? Yeah, it was a running bet.

When you were- Like Bobby Valentine on Valentine's Day. Oh my God. I miss that. What a show. I miss Bobby Valentine on Valentine's Day. What if it's talk like a pirate or talk like a character from Monty Python in the quest for the Holy Grail?

That's what I was going for with the Hear Ye Hear Ye. Okay, I like that. I'll take that one. It put a lot of pressure on you to have something beyond Hear Ye Hear Ye. I was just a critic. I had no solutions for you. I felt for you wandering around medieval times

searching for phrases that were difficult to come by. Well, Dan, according to Chad GBT, the Dan Levitard show will be a rollic in good time, I felt for you wandering around medieval times, searching for phrases that were difficult to come by. Well, Dan, according to Chad GBT, the Dan Levitard Show be a rollic in good time, a place where nonsense reigns. Be it the kind of nonsense you can't help but enjoy. So hoist yourselves, you hearty pirates, and get ready to join this crew for a wild ride

on the waves of hilarity. Arr! The waves of hilarity. Did you guys ever go to medieval times likeieval Times? Is there one down here? There was one in Orlando, I think it's still there. Orlando? Yeah, I mean Orlando. What a hike.

Orlando had the American Gladiators thing. If you're gonna go all the way to Orlando, go to like a theme park, don't go to Medieval Times. If you wanna have dinner and a show, what better than Medieval Times? Dinner and a show. Farther away than where Stu Gotslub's. DeMar DeRozan.

I was convinced when I went to Medieval Times in fourth grade that they accidentally served me alcohol because I remember drinking whatever they gave and it was dark in there. And I remember just being so like off the walls hyper the entire night. And now I think they probably just gave me something with a lot of sugar.

I told my whole family I've been served Long Island iced teas. How many medieval times are there around the United States? Oh, business is booming. Is it? Good year for them last year. I find it hard to believe that medieval times would be doing it in the modern times in a way that was wildly successful.

Tiny Archibald. Chris Cody, what are you waving at? Why are you? Just going through the folder here, I see a captain slappy interview December 19 2008 okay, I should probably preview it comedy was different back There was a medieval times strike last year oh apparently

some Union issues Hmm well they're back at it because that's how we got the fire Nico chant a rollicking good time I say Scotty Barnes only ten locations there weren't unions in medieval times The government is stepping in