The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz - Hour 1: The Time Travel Prison Movie
Episode Date: April 3, 2026"OVER HIBBERT?" Is it smart to silence the dissenting voices around your business? Is Luka's injury going to ruin everything? Did the New York Post copy Zas? What year would you want to live in fo...rever? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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This is the Dan Levitar show with the Stucats podcast.
Folks, listen up.
April 7th, 6.30 p.m. Eastern on Lebitard show YouTube.
It's the Cheap Seats 305 Equinox.
Three games at once.
Marlins, Panthers, Heat.
We're watching all of it.
Probably poorly.
Presented by Never Miss Your Shot Golf.
So I would imagine you guys saw this earlier in the week, right?
Mark Cuban.
Mark Cuban finally admitted that he...
Not finally.
He...
I guess, admitted out loud.
He's been admitted out loud nonstop over the last year.
That he regrets selling, not regret selling the team.
He regrets selling the team to Adelson and Dumont.
And, I mean, since the trade was made, here I said it, I've said it on ESPN, I've said it on my podcast,
that Mark Cuban deserves his share of the blame for what happened with trading away Luca Dunchits.
27% of the blame. And
I remember like I remember
getting hammered. Oh, what does more Cuban have to do?
Well, you should get hammered.
But literally Cuban is coming out now and saying
what I've been saying. What are you
been saying? You're saying that he should get the blame?
What do you say? Yeah. That he
should not have sold
to these people.
When you own one of these teams, you're
essentially a caretaker of the franchise.
You're not going to own the team forever. You're a caretaker
of the franchise. And he
decided to take the highest
bit, which is his right as a businessman, but he
just, totally. But then
people like me can say,
you know what? You can't now sit there and
complain about, I wouldn't have done this, I wouldn't
have done this, I wouldn't have done this, you deserve
your share of the blame then because you
decide to take the highest bid and sell it to
people who don't care
about basketball and decide to do this.
Instead of, maybe it took a little bit less
and you sold to people who were going to take care of the
franchise, you care about it. And he's
admitted that now. I think it's tough to say that
because he sold it to people who
seem like they care about basketball,
and the reality is they do care about basketball,
they just don't know much about it.
And so they had a general manager who Cuban hired?
Who Cuban hired, yeah, but they're just taking them to the finals,
and they don't know any better,
but this guy seems to know what he's doing, right?
So they do what they do.
Any new owner who's not like Matt Ishrio,
who's like a hoops junkie,
is probably going to fall prey to this kind of thing.
By the way, new owners every single time,
you go throughout the history of the league,
particularly recently, they all come in, they talk a great game,
and then they learn the hard way that this ain't as easy as it looks.
Matt Ispia had the most expensive payroll ever for a team that missed the playoffs, right?
Even the Warriors' light years ahead ownership group.
Remember, they came in, they used the amnesty on Charlie Bell
because they tried to sign DeAndre Jordan, who was already a restrictive free agent.
The Clippers match easily.
then they traded Monta Ellis and the guy got booed at the thing.
Like, everyone has a rocky start.
There's no owner who comes in and like, yo, I've been awesome at this.
Steve Balmer, do you want to talk about his rocky start, which may lead to freaking
who knows what?
Cap's circumvention and picks lost and all that.
So none of them have any idea.
And the whole thing about billionaires is these are people who their lives are built on.
Everyone said no, but I said yes.
right and it's true like for many of them
especially the self-made ones maybe not so much the
Nepo Babies but
if you are a
Vivek Rana Devei
a guy who came here with like
legend has it like 150 bucks in his pocket
and you became a billionaire
and you bought an actual NBA team
and kept it in a city where they thought the team was going to be
leaving how can anyone tell you
this four on five idea you got sucks
like no you guys I heard this a lot
in the tech sector I love the four on five
idea. But you know what I'm saying? Like he's like their whole lives are against incredible
odds amassing an obscene amount of success. So when you get to the point where it's like,
hey, we own this team now. And Mark Cuban thinks, no, but just to listen to me. That he thought
the deal was they own it, but I call the shots. And very quickly they're like, no, man,
we're going to listen to this guy. And he gets shoved out the way. And to the absolute meager, meager
defense of Nico Harrison, like, prior to the Luca trade, like, he had made some good moves.
He made some really good moves. The PJ Washington move was good, like, drafting was good.
Gafford. They had done, like, a couple of good things that were on the trajectory of like,
okay, like, wait a second, this is going to the right track.
It was, yeah, it wasn't, I don't think he presented based on his track record as someone
didn't know what he was doing, right? Like, to have that kind of doubt in him.
And obviously, once he comes with something as drastic as that, you always say, hold up.
But that goes back to the other part of this, which is the Mavericks Fun Office, this is through all the reporting and all the people I talk to behind the scenes, like they had really pushed into this group think place where it's like, if you are someone who is an outside thinker, we don't want you.
We're not going to include you in this.
And I've been part of a fun office like that where it's like, hey, my job is to give you guys like all the reasons why this couldn't work.
And then you make an informed decision.
Like, no, no, no, you're yucking already up.
That happens.
Man, this happened when I was at Sloan.
There was the guy who owns the Philadelphia soul, Mike.
His name escapes me.
The arena team?
John Bon Jovi.
The MLS team.
The MLS team is a Philadelphia Union.
Union, my bad.
Philadelphia Union.
I believe the soul were Ron Jaworski and John Bon Jovi.
My bad.
Which, tell him, I said hi.
That's a great crew.
Josh.
Colin Kaepernick, greatest quarterback ever.
He owns the MLS team, and he was like, yo, I came in, and the first thing we did is we studied, like, all this analytics about soccer, because it turns out soccer, they're not as up to date as some of our American sports.
And we found out, like, throw-ins are incredibly important.
And so they did all those stuff invested into areas that they felt could be a competitive advantage.
And as a result, like, all the football people, all the soccer people, told us, oh, that's crazy.
That's not how you do it.
But we were like, no, no, no, no, we're going to do it this way.
It's basically his own version of Moneyball.
As a result, they've been one of the most successful by regular season terms clubs in the MLS.
But they haven't won at all, right?
And so the moderator asks him, hey, how do you guys get to the transition from like doing something so different?
And the guy says, well, first thing you got to do is you got to get rid of all the soccer people, all the old world thinking people.
I said, what?
You get rid of them all?
Yeah, get rid of them all.
because if you have one person who's dissenting, it ruins the room.
The room has to be lockstep.
And I'm like, that is the dumbest thing I've ever heard.
You want dissension.
You want some, even if your idea is right and needs to be, and it's a drastic change.
You need the voice of dissension in the room in order to protect you, in order to challenge your beliefs,
in order for you to know what I'm doing is unequivocally the right thing as opposed to a hunch.
Nico eliminated all dissension in that thing,
including Mark Cuban, who was pushed out.
And that's why I don't blame him
because they purposely excluded him from the conversation
because they knew if he's in it, he's going to dissent
and his dissension is probably going to have some good points in there.
Last night in the NBA, the big story, the Lakers,
I walked into my family room last night.
I got home from the airport and my older son was watching.
I don't know where it is right now.
That's why I had free time right when I walked in the house.
Didn't have luggage.
Didn't have to any laundry.
That's the bonus, right?
And so I walk into the family room.
My son is my older one who we left behind.
He's watching the Lakers and Thunder on Peacock.
It scores 54 to 22.
Like, what the hell is that score?
Then it got worse.
But, yeah, well, it really got worse because Luca Dunchits suffered a hamstring injury in the third quarter.
I think they were down 90 to 58 when he suffered the year.
injury.
And apparently he actually tweaked it in the first half.
And then he got halftime where you kind of get a little bit cold.
And then you come out in the second half and he tweaked the hamstring.
And now he's going to get an MRI.
Not good.
Not good, Bob.
I mean, they got like five games left in the regular season.
And this could be a several week thing.
Yeah, March was fun, wasn't it?
For the Lakers, it was like, man, we're one of the hottest teams.
Well, Spurs are probably a hot team.
But we're the second hottest team in the league.
Lucas playing out of his mind.
He's got more points than Anthony Davis did in his entire tenure with the Mavericks.
and then the one thing that can't happen is that engine gets hurt,
which is kind of something that happens to him towards the end of the season.
Not just that, but also the, hey, this guy should be MVP of the league.
I don't know what you guys are watching.
This guy's the best player in the league.
And now, because of the 65 game dumbass rule,
not only is he perhaps not going to be MVP based on this injury.
And of course, if you're the Lakers.
Well, it's also he won't be on an all-NBA team.
That's the more precedent.
He wasn't going to win MVP.
Well, I mean, he had a chance, but he definitely don't have a chance on either that or all-N-B-A.
He would have been all-N-B-A first team.
Yes, strong chance, strong chance.
But the Lakers, obviously, they are incentivized.
Look, we're trying to make a playoff run here.
You've got to rest the maximum amount of time.
So in a regular world, three years ago, five years ago, before the 65 game rule, shut him down.
He shut down for the rest of the regular season.
Well, why would he play in the second half he got hurt in the first half?
Because he kept trying to warm it up.
Like, you would watch him, like, try to get on like a leg.
and kind of do one of these.
So why is he Brian?
So you need, so the 65 game rule isn't just to appear in 65 games.
There's a minimum amount of minutes you have to play.
Yeah, something like that.
So like he's probably thinking, oh, no, no, I can't punt on this.
I got to thug it out.
But again, five years ago, he sits out at halftime.
They shut him down.
They shut him down to April 12th.
That's 10 days from now.
And then they've got a whole week because they got to wait, see what happens in the plane or whatever.
So they're immune for that.
So he would have had, legit, 17 to 20 days of rest.
Instead, he tries to come back the same night and makes it worse.
Okay, but, okay, so let me throw in here.
He played 26 minutes.
So he was six minutes over this threshold in a game they were down by 32 in the second half.
Why is he out there?
You should have pulled him.
Should have pulled him.
Like, that's a tough look.
You know, I don't know if it's tough for Reddick or, you know, Luca, I don't know, I have to play.
I don't know.
But they were down 90 to 58.
It also goes back to like the Lakers when they lose.
They lose big, right?
That's what we kind of talked about all season.
This team is like very interesting.
If they're down, it's very easy for the lead to get exponentially larger.
And going into the playoffs now, it's like, all right, if they get the three seed and you're looking at Houston maybe at the five, Denver maybe at the four or five six, whoever is there, Minnesota.
Like this is a very big issue.
They'll drop a couple games.
They're going to be going against a very good team in the.
Western Conference, it's like without Luke or Luca at 50%, 60%, like they're getting blown now.
Well, it is interesting, right, because you go back just a couple months ago, it's like,
oh, man, this Western Conference would be a bloodbath.
You know, it's five, six teams.
These are really good teams.
I don't know.
Kind of feels like you got the Thunder and Spurs and that's it, right?
The Nuggets are very good team.
The Nuggets are a very, very good team.
I think Houston.
Houston can be feisty.
Yeah, like, they defend, and then they've got a guy that nobody can guard.
And, like, we can hammer them and get them.
But I'm talking about winning the West.
Like, it's the thundas.
Yeah, but I mean, a seven-game series against the teams like Denver and Houston, like,
I mean said, like, I wouldn't say, like, it's a foregone conclusion.
I know we're talking about OKC, which feels like we're at the start of something.
But you got the two teams with two extraterrestrial talents at center that are well-equipped to give OKC some problems.
And, and also, let's not forget, a team that last two years, everyone's like, I don't see it in them.
And they get to the conference finals of Minnesota Timberwolves.
They're another one that's...
I think they're the most mysterious...
I think they're the most mysterious team in the league.
I have no idea what to think about.
See a lot of mystery there?
Yeah, I do.
What's happening?
Yeah, yes.
I don't know what to expect.
And I tend to overlook them too in the West.
I mean, we literally just did.
But they got a guy that has had postseason success.
Jamal Murray playing the way that he is lately, does that...
I mean, obviously, it's got to sweeten the pot.
They got guys that can give OKC some problems if that ends up being the match.
No, I mean, look.
Outside of like the obvious.
Yeah, like, you got to start with Yokic.
Yeah, they got a guy who can give them problems, right?
And they have, look, the Yokic formula is to have enough big guys to throw at them, right?
That's what Minnesota did.
That's what, I guess, what the spurs can do, right?
Houston's big, right?
Houston's big.
Houston's big.
And certainly, like, O'KKGFERS.
can do that, right?
You have Hartstein, you have Chet Holmgren, you got J. Lin Williams, right?
You have Caruso, who did a great job covering him last year.
That was kind of like the secret key.
Yeah, but then also, remember, that series went seven, right?
And it took Aaron Gordon having a ruptured hamstring pretty much,
just hobbling out there, hopping on one leg to basically give them that game seven.
So, look, Oklahoma City is a great team.
And if you said, hey, I put my money on them to win at all,
I wouldn't be shocked or surprised.
But they're not infallible.
They certainly have problems.
They certainly run into things.
And I think, again, when you talk about in the playoffs,
where it's like I have a week to sit around and just think of you.
Everyone here is just thinking about you.
It's a little different than when it is in the regular season.
Hey, it's Mike Ryan.
And I want to talk to you about the random midweek hang that you have with your friends.
Maybe it's an NBA game.
You get a text, hey, come over.
You want to watch the game.
And maybe you're like, I don't know.
I kind of just wanted to stay home.
And then you think about it.
After your buddy hits you up,
and you know just the thing that'll make that regular hang,
that regular midweek hang around the basketball game
into a special time, into a Miller time.
That's right, this happened to me just last week.
I grabbed a six-pack of Miller Light,
said I was on my way,
and next thing you know, we're arguing about rotations,
like we're on the coaching staff,
yelling about a miss call,
and the game's coming down on the final possession.
It was one of those nights that you look around,
you take a sip, and you think, yeah,
This was the right call, and my friendship's stronger for it.
Cheers to legendary moments with Miller Lite.
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Hey, Roy, buddy.
You know that energy shift when the game gets good and everybody altogether, in unison,
knows to stand up on their feet?
Oh, absolutely, Mike.
Yeah, you've been at many big-time sporting events.
You know that moment quite well.
That's what it's like when you take your first sip of Cuervo.
Oh, delicious.
It's the signal that says
We're not checking the time anymore, pal
It's when small talk turns into stories
Quervo man
It's at high five a random stranger effect
That's right
The game is popping
You're hugging people you never met before
That's the kind of energy that Quervo
brings. It's so smooth
So delicious
That's the Quervo effect
Keep it, Quervo
Don Lebertard
John, can you rate my Al Pacino
from that billiard scene
in Carlito's way if I do it for you.
I think it's pretty good.
Yeah.
Stugats.
You think you big time?
But you're going to die.
Big time.
It is on my infamous scale of one to ten.
That's a 7.6.
Solid.
Good job, Dad.
Good job.
That's a sui nominee right there.
This is the Dan Lebatar show with the Stugats.
They're like these small windows, essentially, to win, and things can change on a year-to-year basis.
What are they called windows?
Especially with the way the CBA allows you to build your team these days.
Like, things can really change, and that's why the windows are even smaller, you know.
But I look at Oklahoma City in San Antonio.
How can anyone not believe that these two teams are going to be the teams fighting for championships for, like, the next decade?
You know what's fun?
Like, am I making it too simple?
Simple by saying that.
You just said because of the CBA.
It's almost impossible.
Right, like I understand that, but I still, it feels like these are the two.
And like, what's going to change?
It felt, man, like, Golden State felt like it was never going to.
Miami felt like it was never going to end.
Oh, dude, Golden State had, like, Golden State became really, they won the title in 15,
and they won their last title in 22.
That's eight years, man.
That's a long time.
But, but, like, I'm saying, like, in 2019, right?
Or 2018, I should say.
It was like, oh, they're going to do this every year.
forever. And then Durant gets hurt and then Durant leaves. And then they go into this really
dark era. Clay's hurt too. Clay gets hurt. Yep. And then 2022 they come back and they win one.
And we've kind of put them on the earth. They're always going to be on the list. But, you know,
they've been in the play in pretty much every year since that championship. So it's like these
things feel like they're going to be permanent. Miami felt like it was never going to end.
Yeah. Even rising teams like Memphis. I'm like, well, they're going to be in the conversation for a while.
Memphis versus Minnesota. Remember that playoff series?
Like these guys are going to be running the West.
Memphis eliminated Golden State.
I understand.
But what, like, that's, you know, those Memphis teams, that's not a worst team with OKC and San Antonio.
No, no, no.
I understand.
But like, we do work ourselves into like, these guys are next and they're going to be around for a long time.
But like the beam kings, everybody thought this was the team.
They're going to get to the next level.
That's not what these two teams are.
I agree.
But like, still, it was that next team in the West.
So for San Antonio, this is actually a very interesting thing.
because the way their checking account and their saving account set up
is they never, or at least for the next like five years,
they never have to pay everyone all at the same time
because there's a stagger, because Wemby was drafted first,
and then Castle, and then Harper,
and so everything is kind of staggered.
And if you look at their books, it's like, ooh,
they've always going to have some guy who's on the books for his rookie scale,
which helps them alleviate.
Versus Oklahoma City, they've got a money crunch coming in the very near future.
that Chad and what I say Chad,
Chad and Jaylon Williams both came in on the same year,
so their salaries are equal.
And then obviously SGA, he's getting paid the most.
And so at some point, they're going to have to make a hard decision on Hartenstein.
And if they can't, they've got to find a replacement there.
They're going to have to make a hard decision on a lot of their role players.
Lou Dort, Kaysen Wallace, like all of these guys are going to want to get paid.
or four.
Sure.
And then you go and get someone else.
That's why their model is just so incredible.
That's why Jared McCain was a great pickup for them.
They'd burn a first round pick for a guy.
He's like, is he great?
Doesn't matter.
He's good enough to play for us and he's going to be cheap.
But like, make no mistake, they are now walking the tightrope.
Last year it was like, everything's awesome.
Now they're doing this right here with the umbrella or whatever the hell like on the tightrope,
trying to balance the whole thing.
The parasol, there you go.
That's what Mary Poppins had, right?
An umbrella or a parasol?
No, she had an umbrella.
She lives in England, dude.
It was raining all the time over there.
Do they call umbrellasals in England?
Did they call it umbrella?
No, because they call it an umbrella because they never have a sunny day.
I thought when you're doing, on the wire, though, you have like that long stick.
Yeah, does that really help you balance?
I thought that's what you guys were talking about.
I know what he's talking about.
Sometimes they do it with an umbrella.
I think you're just thinking of Mary Poppin.
Do you think that they just have that really long stick for aesthetics?
I don't know.
I feel like if I'm trying to balance, I don't want to hold something.
Hold on.
What I'm trying to know.
I absolutely want to hold something.
No, no, you want to hold onto something.
I want to hold a rod?
Not hold something.
You want to hold onto something.
A rod.
That's right.
There we go. I'm looking at it.
It's a tiny.
Functional purpose of the umbrella, center of gravity,
much like a traditional long balancing pole,
an umbrella helps a walker shift their weight.
You can get AI to tell you anything, man.
I don't think it's true.
Aerodynamic drag.
And outdoor performances, the canopy of the umbrella
can provide a slight amount of air resistance,
which may help stabilize a performer.
against minor gusts of wind and a visual aid.
It allows a perfect extent their lever arm,
making it easier to correct small imbalances
before they lead to a fall.
I still got questions.
They got pictures.
Anyway.
With that, with OKC walking in a tightroop anyway.
With the umbrella.
With the umbrella.
It's worth it, right?
Because if you win this year,
you go back to back,
SGA wins the MVP again.
It's like...
It's always worth it.
It's worth it.
It's always...
So the Warriors lost money every year they win a championship.
But you...
Like now, the VALS.
Value of the franchise is incredible, and they still sell a bunch of shit.
Everything is premium price for them, whether it's their tickets, their corporate sponsorships,
everything because of the success.
You are affiliated with that success.
The Bulls for the longest time were raking in money hand over fist just off of the six titles,
even as they were one of the worst teams of the 2000s.
I don't know if you guys saw over the last couple of days, but I've been getting peppered on Twitter
with people sending me
the link to this New York Post story
where apparently the New York Post
was just now alerted. See this headline
American Airlines passengers
shocked to learn their flights
or actually bus routes.
There's quote, no plane.
And it's a picture of an American Airlines,
not plane, bus.
And this was the New York Post
a few days ago who just now
apparently discovered this story.
I told everyone this like five, six months ago.
This is of college football season.
That's right.
Is that another trip you cut short?
No, no, no, no.
I was working, dog.
No, no, no, the work trips he doesn't cut short.
It's the work. It's the ones with family he cuts short because he doesn't want to be with the season.
Yeah, no.
You know what?
You know what wives love.
It's also why I'm here.
I came back from vacation.
And wives love, everybody knows.
That's why I'm here, all right?
Your wife is still in Colorado.
But I was in, I was connecting from Chicago to South Bend.
and yeah, like I, they bust me from Chicago to South Bend.
What should be a very short flight ended up being a two and a half, three hour bus ride.
That's right, bus ride, even though I purchased a plane ticket.
And just now, the New York Post has this whole long story with people freaking out because
American Airlines is now in the bus business.
How are they just, I did this six months ago.
Yeah.
How are they just doing this now?
They're late.
You know, the thing Zaz is, you should have been the person they quoted in the article.
Right? Right.
I really believe that no one had this story before me.
I really do believe.
I'm the first person.
I'd never heard it until you told me.
People didn't believe me.
And now it's everywhere.
You sound like a guy like the Independence Day.
The end of the world is coming.
He was right.
And then the aliens go like, ah, I told you guys.
Speaking of Ends of the World.
Did you see the last episode of Paradise?
Yes.
What did you think of it?
Spoilers.
It was good.
It was good.
You haven't seen it yet.
I mean?
I haven't seen it yet.
I'm midway through season two.
I got to do.
I can't lie.
It's been tough.
Season two is not as good
of season one,
I've been trying to stay with it.
Well, it's a different show now season, season two.
Like, it's not,
the show's not even close
to what you thought the show was.
It's not even about what you thought the show was.
It's just the execution is not good.
It's very clunkily written.
And there's some bad acting.
And a lot of bad acting.
And guess what?
Look, that Jane episode,
woof. I was like, get this out of me.
Well, have you gotten to the next episode after the Jane episode?
Episode 7 I've seen.
I saw episode 7.
Makes the Jane episode kind of irrelevant.
The best episode was the first episode where we see my man Sterling Brown out in the wild trying to find his wife.
Like that one, I was like, okay, we're back.
And they get the flashbacks of how his wife survived.
Correct.
Yeah.
I was like, I'm back.
Okay, rough start, but they're back now.
And then they went back to being bullshit.
And so I'm trusting you, Tony.
Do you tell me?
I like it still.
The last episode was good.
The last episode, it was good.
It puts things together.
Your voice got a little high there.
I don't like that.
His voice was a little high.
I don't like that.
Since I saw it, I can talk about it.
And I won't spoil it for you.
There's plot holes that get filled.
And then there's more questions.
And then there's more questions.
Then something happens where you're like, oh, wow, interesting.
So the episode was in you.
And you said, get this out of me.
That episode was weird, though, because there's a lot of unanswered questions there.
And I don't know if I can speak freely.
Can I speak freely?
Spoiler alert.
If you haven't seen the Jane episode of Paradise.
please skip another 35 to 40 seconds.
The whole thing of like the guy at Circuit City getting told,
hey, by the way, do this.
And then everybody's like, okay.
And we just accepted it.
Claws pass.
We don't know who sent it.
We do know who sent it.
No, not now you do probably.
But at the time.
Exactly.
Because I don't know.
I don't know who sent it.
But I do know this.
I do know.
And this is the part where I don't know.
But I have a feeling because I'm on the Internet.
Time travel is coming into the.
this and this is where I'm like you know see that okay now I love time travel that's why I love travel
exactly everybody knows my two favorite movies TV shows what are they I'll tell you time travel
prison those are my shows and movies I'll watch anything with time travel I'll watch any prison
movies I love time travel in the cucket and if and if there's time travel in prison holy shit
that movie hasn't been made yet but boy sign me up put on time travel prison
a prison where you go and you get sent back in time.
Wow.
Like all of a sudden, all right, you're going to jail now,
but you're going to ancient Rome.
Yes.
Good luck in the gladiators.
Who wants to make that movie?
And it sends you back to earlier in your life
and you have to figure out which choices you made
that led you down the path to ultimately being in prison.
But if you can come upon those moments and make the path different,
then you don't end up in jail.
You're released later on.
That's a different movie.
We can do a different movie.
Not an action movie.
This is just like a redemption story.
Yeah.
You want to be a medieval time.
I like doing something that's good.
Your penalty is four years, but four years in a medieval prison.
All right.
No, all right.
I'm in.
I'm in.
Do they spin a wheel or how do they figure out where you're going to go?
They do an entire biometric scan.
And they see in your heart and in your mind and your spirit what you're afraid of most.
And they send you there.
You get 25 days in Alcatraz.
I'll do that one.
Oh, will you?
Oh, will you?
Oh, really?
Oh, have you ever been to Alcatraz?
25 days.
Have you been to Alcatraz before?
You'll be holding someone's pocket, no doubt.
Not in Alcatraz.
You get 48 hours in Sheriff Joe's tent.
Tent City.
Oh, man.
Ten City.
So you can do Alcatraz for 25 days.
You can't do 10 Citi.
Ten City, man.
It's hot, man.
That's the idea.
It's so goddamn hot.
Going for two when you're up by five.
Switching the zone when man isn't working.
Oh, and building your new stadium in the state your team actually plays in.
In sports, something.
just makes sense. You know what else makes sense? Drinking
Yeagermeister shots. Ice cold. Drinking it any other way would be like
punting on first down or letting your worst hitter bat first or like going for two
when you're down three with a second to go. It wouldn't make any sense. So don't let the
team down when it comes to Yeagermeister, drink it cold or don't drink it at all!
Yeagermeister, damn that's cold. Drink responsibly. Yeagermeister liqueur, 35% alcohol
by volume imported by Master Yagermaster U.S.
White Plains, New York.
Don Lebatard.
John's as Lord.
Stugats.
These are smiles to a loom-ma.
This is the Dan Lebatar show with the Stugats.
Time travel talk makes me think of a hypothetical I once heard.
All right.
So I'm making you, in this hypothetical, the richest person on Earth.
Got it.
How far back, how far back?
Do me next.
Do me next.
How far back in time would we have to go for you to?
say I'm good. I'll stay here.
Like, would you go back to the
1500s? To be the richest
Like, I'm not going back to 1682.
Like, I'd rather just be here with what I
have. What's the year that you would say
no to the question? I don't want to be like, I don't want to be the rich
I'll just stay here. I would say, look, all right, so I
got to ask some questions. Like, am I draft eligible?
Right? Because I don't want, the richest man
in the world. You just got sent to Vietnam.
No, you're your age. You're your age. No, no.
I'm talking about... You have to live in those times.
So if the richest person was draft eligible in that day, then yes, you're draft eligible.
I think you're okay being the richest man on the earth that you can pay a couple of people to take your stead.
Yeah, yeah, but I'm black too, though.
Yeah, but you're the richest guy, though, post-1860.
You're the richest guy.
The whole Jim Crow situation.
Again, when you're rich, it doesn't matter.
I can live anywhere.
I can live anywhere.
You're the rich.
Because you're rich, yes.
I'm the richest man alive and I can live anywhere.
Then I'll go back as far as electricity.
Good point.
Got to have electricity.
Electricity.
But not like early electricity, because we still don't know.
It's a little time.
It's air-conded.
Do I have the knowledge of what I've given back?
No.
What if I'm like the richest guy and I'm like, damn, I kind of want to, I can't play Xbox.
No, you won't know that you miss it.
But we know right now.
No, I think you have to know.
I think you have to know that you're going to miss.
That's part of like giving it all is like going back, having the knowledge of what you know.
Now, it's like, man, I remember the iPhone.
It's like, I don't have it.
So, Chris, how far would you go back then?
I would when I've talked about this with my buddies like I feel like the 50s and 60s like I don't know if I'm going much further past that and I know I'm white so this might be a different game for me does the money increase as I go further back inflation but deflation because because in that case I would just say no it just send me back to like 2005 and I'm good right like if there's no advantage to go further back I'll go back to the game is how far back would you go yes obviously we'd rather have 05 but after the banks got bail out right but right but
before by all the toxic stuff.
We have a working knowledge of what is to come, right?
Yeah.
Or do you stay?
Almanac.
It's in my head.
But do you stay in that time in perpetuity?
Or do you live the rest of your life like you would?
Yeah.
It's like you go back to 2005 but you're the richest guy but then you start 2006.
Yeah.
Or do you always stay in 2005?
No, no.
So I have the opportunity to invest in my space early on and then like get it.
Wait, hold on.
I was like, yeah, of course you.
Wait a second.
you stay.
I can be the richest man ever, and it's 2005 forever.
That's what I'm saying.
Because it's not like you live in 1682 and you're like, all right, I live 80 years and
it's 1730 whatever and like, all right, I'm dead.
It's like, no, you live in that state in perpetuity.
I would go back to like 1985.
Stay in 1985 the entire time the internet hadn't existed yet.
You still have the landline phone.
Cains are good.
The can't watch that all the time.
You want to be right in the mid-2000s when internet is available, but it has it,
ruined our lives.
You guys are playing a different game of like, when would be the best time to be the richest person.
I want 2009.
2009?
Yeah.
It's 2009 forever.
Forever?
Yeah.
I have an iPhone and I got good indie rock.
O3 was a great music.
And politics still I haven't gotten like super weird.
Oh, yeah.
You know what?
If I see something on the internet, I could largely believe it.
2010.
Then I'm taking 2010.
Good year.
I'm doing about 2010.
I'm working for the sons.
We went to the conference finals.
Yeah, but you're the richest guy in the world.
We are playing a different game.
2010 is better than 09 because I got LeBron.
I'm with you.
And a whole season of gleeze already.
And Kanye is not that weird.
Oh, yeah, no, 2009, 2010.
Kanye, that's great.
But think about with all that money,
you might be able to invent time travel.
No.
I just did it.
I don't want anyone else to be able to do it.
So you destroyed it then?
Pretty much, yeah.
That's selfish, man.
Of course I'm selfish.
That is so stupid.
Why am I going to let people just time travel?
You never seen time cop?
I love time cop.
Wow.
Great movie.
Ron Silver?
Wow.
Great movie.
As the evil senator.
Like president wannabe guy?
Well, look, I'm telling you so that.
Watch Time Cop now.
You guys are like, that's a lot of similarities, man.
You know about Mia Sarah?
Come on.
Yeah.
Oh, wait.
She was from Ferris Bueller's new off.
Hell yeah.
No, how about my guy Matusack?
That's his, what's Matusack's name?
Scott Matusack.
No, the actor who plays Matusak.
He's Van Dam's buddy who, who
forgets him when he comes back at times.
Yes, yes, yes. He's got reminded.
Dennis Rodman.
No, that's a different movie.
Me and I remember the parachute that was also a basketball?
Me and I mean, we're watching the Dennis Rodman 30 for 30 yesterday on the TV.
In the middle of Dan.
And we forgot that he went to, it was like a Tiger Wood serious topic.
And we're looking over the screen.
And it's Kim John Oon and Dennis Rodman playing basketball.
And then he cried.
Yo, Kim Jong-un is playing basketball at 5 on 5 on the court.
Kim Jong-un is sitting court side watching it.
in legit a throne.
In a throne.
Like a fucking medieval...
Rodman is wearing sunglasses in the game.
It's incredible.
Bruce McGill is the actor you think.
Bruce McGill, my man, Matusack, man.
Time Cop's a great movie.
TimeCob's a great movie. Time travel movies are the best.
Time Travel and prison.
Should I watch TimeCop?
Yes.
Yeah, you should watch TimeCop.
I'll bet TimeCop still holds up.
I thought TimeCop could have been so much better
if they focused more.
If he was in a prison.
On the crimes.
Well, the whole thing is like, it's time travel exists.
But, like, people are using it to fund criminal activity.
So the time cops go back in time to thwart them.
So, like, the opening scene of Time Cop is, it's 1862 in the South, right?
In the middle of the Civil War, and a guy is on a horse and buggy.
And a guy comes out of the bushes.
He's got some crazy gun or something, right?
Give me all the gold.
And I got, get out of the way.
And then he pulls out a machine gun.
And they're like, what the hell is that?
They mows them down.
And it's like, oh, wow.
And then we learn, like, the time police
They go around all throughout history
They're stopping terrorists
That movie rules
Zaz Demolition Man, prison time travel movie
Is it time travel?
Because it's traveling time forward
No, that's not time travel movie
No
But it's a prison movie
It is a prison movie
It is a prison movie
Yeah, but it's not tight travel
It starts in L.A. in 1998
And it ends up in San Angeles
Well, the
Stasis part, right?
So the
But they didn't get there from time travel
Yeah, but I mean it's got all the time travel
like quintessential things like I'm from the 90s and I have a laser gun.
Right.
Yeah.
I mean, it's a time travel.
Best time travel movie?
Looper.
No, come on.
That's a good movie.
That's a good movie.
Why'd you say it that way?
It's back to the future.
That's a good future.
Setting back to the future.
You can't set that a gold standard.
That's the gold standard.
All right.
Set that aside.
Also a good closer.
The best basketball player ever?
Right.
Put Michael Jordan aside.
Paul George.
Oh, I mean, put Michael Jordan aside.
That's right.
Louper. About time.
Looper. What's about time?
Oh, man. Real tearjerker. Beautiful.
Donald Gleeson, Rachel McAddle.
I don't like your taste of movies. I just noticed.
I don't like a... I mean, we're stuck in 2010.
Okay.
We're at a sports bar and we're looking at each other and like, can you believe this Roy Hibbert?
It's like, I take him over Tim Duncan.
Yeah, he's a LeBron Sopper.
I take him over Tim Duncan, man.
I'm telling you, I saw a couple days ago.
I finally, I mean, it's only been down for a couple weeks.
But what are you laughing?
I'm laughing at because I remember Dan like berating with the Stephen A.
You were telling me, you had the choice and you wouldn't take Roy Hibbert over Tim Duncan?
Like he was so indignant about him.
And then he would be like, we'll discuss with Jason Whitlock in 10 minutes.
No, no, no.
Hibbert was a major problem.
It was a part of our history.
Guys, maybe 2010 wasn't the right year.
He was the Pacers got.
I saw Project Hail Mary a couple nights ago.
That's a film.
That's a good movie.
Cinema.
What a movie.
Oh.
I mean, have you seen it yet?
I have not seen it.
I'm going to be honest.
Some of the reviews I got back, not for me, Clive.
Not that you got reviews that weren't good.
You just didn't like what the movie's about?
Yeah, it's like, it's saccharin.
It's like sappy.
I'm like, oh, we need this positivity in our lives.
Like, don't give me positivity in my movies.
I want, like, things that make me go, oh, my God.
You know what I saw the other day?
Roof Man.
Got seen that roof man?
You know about that roof, man?
You made that up just now.
Channing Tatum.
roofman. This dude...
Toys R Us, right? Yeah. So this dude
was like a
serial burglar. He would
like drill a hole into the top of McDonald's
and come in and then rob the McDonald's
and then leave, right? And they couldn't
catch him. He finally gets caught.
He goes to prison. The guy
breaks out of prison. And by the way,
his whole ethos in robbing these
places and also bringing out of prison,
just be a good dude. Just be a nice guy
and people will mess with you.
They're like, oh man, he's cool, he's cool, whatever.
So he escapes and lives in the Toys R Us for like a month without being detected because it's behind like the bicycle wall or whatever.
So basically the guy ends up spying on the Toys Arrest people, falls in love with one of the employees, comes out from behind the thing, pretends like he works for the government or whatever, starts dating her.
And then he messes up because one day when he's like showering in the Toys R Us, the manager comes home and sees he's there or whatever.
And so now there's a manhunt for him
Because like, oh, that's a guy
And so it's a great movie
And it's based on a true story
I'm looking now
I'm looking at it on IMDB
It looks a good movie
It's a good movie
It is a very delightful movie
Sorry
You don't want delightful though
You don't want a movie
Make a feel good
Delightful meaning like
Hey I watch this
And I don't get too deep
I don't get that to whatever
It's entertaining
Right delightful in that way
Not delightful
So you don't think you're going to understand
Project Elmary?
No I just
He's good
He's good
Why are you pushing Project Hellmarion?
It's not just feel good.
I think what you're taking is like, oh, it's the Ted Lassow, it's this,
is that.
That's just a nice little side effect of what you feel afterward
while watching a very entertaining movie with a great acting performance.
I have so much PTSD from the pandemic.
Whenever was like, Ted Lasson is the most amazing show ever.
And so I watched Ted Lassow the original digital shorts that NBC put out.
And I'm like, this guy's a buffoon.
Oh, this is about to be awesome?
And then I watched Ted Lasson and it's like, is it just feel good stuff?
He just likes quips.
But like he's lovable.
And I'm like, no, I want the Ted Lassow as an idiot.
No, cool story in Project Hill Mary.
I loved it.
Very entertaining.
I loved it.
Lots of interesting sort of twists within it as a movie.
And also, nice feel-good feeling at the end of it because of the relationships.
Real quick, do you guys want to hear Dan dismissing Stephen A for saying he would take Tim Duncan over Roy Hibbert?
You got a seven-game series against the heat that you've got to win tomorrow.
I'm giving you the entire league to pick up.
players from who's your first pick you have to beat the heat in a seven game series your first pick
is i would take kim duncan you need a big because because because obviously miami no no yes yes i want i
want tim duncan especially after he missed the shot he missed last year because he's hungry than
ever i can't believe you took duncan over hibbert like what are you talking about stay strong
step i would take i would take tim duncan yeah me too over
Hibbert? Yep. That next season, Duncan won his fifth title. Mike, what's going on with the
Cyclones tonight? We played at A. 7 o'clock first toss. Come on out. Rivalries in Battlecourt,
we play Udana's Haslam's renegades. I don't like them. Two of the most decorated teams
in the history of Battlecourt, the long-spanning history of battle court, which is, you know,
post-COVID. Now, you know, they're rivals, like, is there frattingizing? Yeah, I see you guys
as like rubbing elbows with old UD. We do rub these elbows.
Very sharp elbows. Ask anybody. Ask Roy Hibbert about those elbows. But yeah, UD, he's a great owner, dude. He definitely cares about the sport. He enjoys it. He comes out. If he's not on TV covering the NBA, he comes out and he supports his renegades. They probably have the best player in the world and go cherry. We have the best backquarter in the world in Manu. The last time we played them, which was a couple of weeks ago, played out to a match day draw. So exciting battle court highlight tonight at Casino, Miami.
it's free with a promo code
get your tickets online or if you want
premium seats, great bang
for your buck, come out and join us, we've got a large crew
coming out there, great game today. Doesn't sound like rivals.
It's an interesting league because
there's so much turnover in the league and
guys end up playing on different teams throughout
the season, so it's different than other sports.
Yeah, we're really close with all the ownership groups.
Are there teams that we don't like and we really like to beat?
Yeah, absolutely. The renegades are one of them,
no doubt, because
they're the most decorated team in the history.
of Battlecourt, they have three championships. We're chasing them. We're trying to become the
first battle court team to ever go back to back. No one's ever done that. Right now we're in second.
We had to bring it in tight. Some real adversity here. Back-to-back match day draws after a loss.
That one of those draws felt like a loss though. Yeah, we kind of lost ourselves a little bit.
But I like what we've done in the week that we've had for this big ramp up against the renegades.
I think we're dialed them. Now, did some of the cyclones enjoy Miami Music Week more than I would have
Preferred, maybe, but we don't need to talk about that.
My question is this. If Eudanis says, hey, guys, let's go grab a drink over here at this bar over here.
You guys are heading out with it? You think I'm saying no to UD?
If UD comes up to me and says, hey, you want to go out and grab a beer, you think I'm going to say no.
You think Mickey Arison is following Peter Goober or Joe Lacob, like down the hall?
Actually, yes, because they're all billionaires, so they seem to like all get along great.
You think Pat Riley is going to have a drink with Brad Stevens before?
the game? No way. No. That's not
before the game, no. No, I think they're cordial.
They'll shake hands.
They'll talk about what's going on
in the field of play. And that's kind of
how we are with you, D. You know, we're
intense when the poloeta starts flying.
And playoff time.
Yeah, we're not friends. We are
not friends there. We respect one another.
All right. Going for two when you're up
by five. Switching the zone
when man isn't working. Oh, and
building your new stadium in the state your team
actually plays in.
In sports, some things just make sense.
You know what else makes sense?
Drinking Yeagermeister shots.
Ice cold.
Drinking it any other way would be like,
punting on first down,
or letting your worst hitter bat first,
or like going for two when you're down three with a second to go.
It wouldn't make any sense.
So don't let the team down.
When it comes to Yeagermeister, drink it cold,
or don't drink it at all!
Yeagermeister, damn, that's cold.
Drink responsibly.
Yeagermeister lique, 35% alcohol.
by volume imported by masked Yeagermeister U.S. White Plains, New York.
