The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz - Hour 1: Three Petes

Episode Date: February 5, 2025

Did you know Pat Riley had a copyright to the term "3-peat" in every form? Well, the NFL sure does, and they've had to strike a deal with Riley ahead of the Super Bowl. Then, it's time for another installment of "Is He Human?" with David Samson. Plus, Stugotz told the Old Spice Guy that he loved him, a hungry ghost is haunting The Elser, and Marcus Jordan's DUI. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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So lots of stuff is happening in the NBA as we tape right now. We'll keep interrupting what I think are thoughtful points with meaningless updates about Chris Middleton as we proceed here, I guess. Another bit of news though, maybe David you've already covered it. Come on. You said you have news, that's for you. Go ahead.

I thought there was another trade. The NFL has a deal with Miami's own Pat Riley for the use of three Pete on merchandise if the Chiefs win. Which is, look, I think people probably know by now that Pat Riley invented the term, or at the very least, got the intellectual rights to the term, but I imagine this tickled you, David. I don't think he should have gotten it. I think three-peat is used too often by too much

to give it all to one person. I think it was a mistake by the US Patent and Trademark Office. But he has it. Do you think there's a former assistant the US Patent and Trademark Office, but he has it. Do you think there's a former assistant coach of Pat Riley at the time who's like, that's bullshit, man, I told him that. And now they get nothing. And I'm not on that.

Now, but Pat did say, thank God, he gives most of the money to charity. That's always my favorite, most. And we can all define what that means. But the NFL had to do a deal with him because I want the NFL to not use it. Just say back to back to back. Red McGriff style.

Well David, let me ask you a question. Yeah, that's a good call from the commercials. Again, things kids knew in the 90s. Yeah. Oh, I know that. I don't remember the line back to back to back, but I do remember that. Back to back to back National Champions.

National Champions, Little League, yeah. David, you are older than everyone here today. So I'm not old enough to remember, was three Pete a thing that was said before, like in the early 80s or, I mean. No, it was 88, it was after. I know when he coined it, because they thought they were gonna go for three in a row

and then they lost to the Pistons. But I'm just saying, did he actually invent the term or was that already a term that was being used and then he was just first to? He used it on stage. Right. So my recollection, and this is back maybe before many of you were born,

I believe when they had won their back to back, he was on stage the way you do after a parade and he then said, I'm sure we can find this out, he said, how about a three-peat? Remember when LeBron went to the, was it LeBron in the heat? Let's do four, let's do five, not one. You nailed it, that's exactly what it was.

And how many did he go to? It was not five, not six, not seven. He went to four in a row and then left. He went to, no, I know. It was not five, not six, not seven. And he ended up being at four finals with two titles. I think it was a lot of premature exuberance by Riley at that time, but it's been paying off ever since.

And we give into it, companies give into it who are experiencing three-peat. If you're a regular company, what company, what regular company is experiencing a three-peat? Metal Arc with the best football podcast. Yeah, we're gonna have to pay Pat Riley if Stu Gots wins again, right? a three Pete. Metal arc with the best football podcast. Oh my God, yeah. We're gonna have to pay Pat Riley if Stu Gotts wins again, right?

You can't say, hey, it's a three Pete. We already built him a statue. Put it on top of the Elsa. Not good enough. Can't you just spell Pete differently? No. You know what, it's funny, I saw the patent. There's so many different iterations, like any spelling you can think of.

Trademark. Like I'm gonna get it, if I see three P with two E's, like I'm gonna be like, yep, got it. P-E-E-T, Rodney, Pete, with an E at the end. Sure, whatever, however you wanna spell it, just differently. Repeat, I just think it's funny that Kansas City, no one's ever done it, that's what I'm excited about

for the Super Bowl. You're rooting for the Chiefs. 100%. I find it hard to believe that people don't want to see a three-peat because I've never seen that in my life in the Super Bowl. But David, this is why leagues like dynasties, because it forces everyone to choose a side.

Either I want to see history or I'm sick of them. I can't wait for them to lose. That's why the Yankees are great. That's why the Lakers and the Celtics are great. That's why right now the Chiefs are great, right? The idea that something that makes everybody watching, even the casuals, feel a need to either say, oh, I wanna see Taylor's boyfriend win another one,

or say something like, oh, I want to see Taylor's boyfriend win another one, or say something like, oh, I hate that Taylor Swift. Like, it's so stupid. And yet it is the engagement that the league desires. Do you like how Kelsey came out yesterday and said, we're not going to go through this again. I'm not retiring. I was one of the guys who thought

Taylor would make him retire. Because I thought she said, I really don't want to date someone whose head's getting bashed in. I'd like him to be able to put three sentences together to make a paragraph. So I thought he'd win it and then walk. But apparently, not only is he not doing that,

he's already said, win or lose on Sunday, I'm back. But David, you have them having deep intellectual conversations long into the night. Listen, I give everyone the benefit of the doubt. I don't yuck on other people's relationship yelps. It's not about their relationship yelps, I just, I don't know how much compelling conversation. You think they're just grunting?

I mean, Hell yeah. At least 50%. I have them having real conversation about life, about future, about. I'm picturing them like embracing,, just cuddling in the bed and she's rubbing his head like, is your head hurt? You have a headache?

You don't need this. You guys are funny. I think they're just as normal as we are. I do that with my wife all the time. How's your head honey, come here. You rub her head and say how's your head? She has a headache? You get the hot water bottle

and you lay it gently. My wife does this thing when she gets a headache where You get the hot water bottle. And you lay it gently. My wife does this thing when she gets a headache where she puts the sleeping mask on because she doesn't want to open her eyes. And I take like a nice wet cloth and I just drip it on her forehead. Yeah. Does she have the fun CTE?

I don't know. That seems like an oxymoron. Well that was Andrew Hawkins let us know this. There's a fun CTE? Fun CTE, yeah. He gave approval on Dan's. Oh, Dan was know this. There's a fun CTE. A fun CTE, yeah. He gave approval on Dan's. Oh, Dan was the one that came up with fun CTE. Of course he did.

I don't love that. What do you love? I love a lot of things and a lot of people. I don't love fun and CTE in the same sentence. You malfunctioned trying to say the word love. I had my wires crossed. Do we want to play the game? Is that a perfect segue for the host to step in

and remind everybody we have a game that Chris Cody, executive producer, has prepared. ["The Game Show Theme"] ["The Game Show Theme"] Ladies and gentlemen, it's time to play. Is he Human? With David Samson. Silly me, I thought this was the funeral game.

We played it yesterday with Diane and it was a disaster. What they're going to figure out is for everyone else, the question we're looking for is the one that they'll say no to. For you, it's the one that they'll say yes to. Cause it seemed like you say no to almost every single one. It's the funeral game is my favorite game to listen to and my least favorite game to play.

But that is David Sampson, the star of the hit game show. Is he human? But that is David Sampson, the star of the hit game show. Is he human? Chris, how does the game work? All right, David, we have questions for you, life scenarios. And you're going to tell and you're going to answer it. And then we will decide as judges if you're a human or not.

Bring it. First one, you're at lunch with a friend. Your dish arrives before their does. Theirs does, god damn it. Are you starting to eat before your dish arrives? If it's cold No, if it's hot yes All right, that's a human. That's a human response. Good job, David. I mean begrudgingly Grudgingly is gonna be honest

Moving on I'm gonna read this one a little better You're on a four mile hike with a friend and they forgot their water bottle, but you have yours. Do you offer them any water? This is a great one. This has happened. I will pour some water into the mouth of someone I'm with and I will, cause I won't give them the bottle to drink from

even when they say I won't put my lips to it. It turns out when they try, they end up touching lip to top. So I will pour just a little bit. Lip to top you say. I don't like lip to top. Judges? I think that's very human.

The part where you'd say, I'll pour it into your mouth. I think you'd rather, I'd rather you say no. Well, how about you hand me your water bottle and I do that. I'm like, oh my God. No, no, no you say no. Well, how about you hand me your water bottle and I do that. I'm like, oh my God. No, no, no. I'm gonna do no. But no, this is the move.

The move is you say, I'm not feeling that well. Do you want me to just like pour it in so you don't get whatever I have? I was sick last week. Exactly. No. Or you do what David says, which is, ask the person to genuflect before you

so he may pour water into your mouth from a height. Now, that is funny because when I'm shorter than the person I'm with, it does, I'm not gonna jump on a rock to do it. So they have to kneel. They've gotta kneel. Wow, so it's like a, like a, a, a, I'm not gonna make the effort.

It's like a fountain in like, in a square in Italy, right? Just a tall man doing this and another, a small like little cherubic angel Pouring not cherubic, but thank you. So that's that five is not cherubic. That's a that's a no I think on is a human I'm just gonna say no on that So we're split so far one and one right next question your significant other plans a dinner with a couple you find extremely boring What do you do? I don't go Judges?

The human thing is to go. You, you- I feel like Amin agrees with them a little bit. No man, I'm with David. I find a way out. What are you saying? What excuse are you using? Oh man.

I don't want to go. I'm learning in my post-divorce life, honesty has taken over as a real possibility in every situation where previously it was not even contemplated, and now I try for the honesty. I don't wanna go out with those people. I've learned the exact opposite. Stop being honest.

Tell them the white lie that they wanna hear. Blame work, be like, I gotta watch this game. It's a weird job. My stomach, I gotta go to the bathroom again. I now realize as the one still married person at the table, I just go. Same. Yeah, I think the married person lesson

is sometimes you do things you don't want to do, and sometimes they do things they don't want to do. You hear that, David? And you find the compromise. I do not like doing things I don't want to do. Then yeah, I could see why it didn't work out. No, no, because I did so many things I didn't want to do for 29 years.

And I eventually said, I don't want to do that. It didn't work. Exactly. It was a great run. But wait a minute, are you going to say that 29 years is not a good run? This is the perfect music for this conversation. It's a hell of a run.

I think it depends on how the run was. I didn't experience the run, so I can't say. David, let me ask you a question. Three great kids? David, let me ask you a question, because this happens to a lot of athletes, right? That they're married, and part of what keeps the marriage together is half the time I'm not here.

And then when they retire, a lot of the conflict happens. They're like, they're- They gotta go to these boring ass dinners. It's the empty nest thing. You have your kids to deal with and all of a sudden that's the time. Majority of divorce is either after the year or after the empty nest.

That's the majority. The itch is the seven, that's different. Because when the kids disappear, you realize, oh my God, now what are we gonna do? All of our interactions are one on one now. There's no buffer. I feel like I'm at divorce counseling right now, as in people are saying you should probably get divorced.

What's next? Moving on. David, you get asked to watch a close friend's two kids for three hours. What do you say? Crazy. Of course not. They're in a jam, they're in a pickle.

Doesn't matter. You're a close friend. How old are the kids? That's a big one. Four and eight. No. I have watched a kid. They're potty trained. You're a close friend. How old are the kids? That's a big one. Four and eight. No, I have watched a kid. They're potty trained. No, no, but then I'm a no.

I've watched a kid who's under three months old because I can do that very well. I'm really good at changing diapers and they don't move. So I can go about my day. And when you put a kid who can't crawl or turn over, you can just keep them where they are and you can go away for a minute and come back and they haven't moved.

Once they start to crawl or roll over, you have to watch them. You can't even shower. All right, not a human. Moving on. That is totally human. Two words, Disney Plus. Just turn it on and walk away.

They're fine. I'm not watching those kids. Thank you. Moving on, David, when's the last time you ate at a buffet of any kind? Good question. Terrible question. When's the last time any of us have eaten at a buffet?

I eat all the time. Hotel breakfasts. Yeah, I mean, go on. Constantly. Love a buffet. Yes, that counts. I will tell you exactly when. There are great breakfast buffets in Tokyo hotels.

Like really, really good, if you've ever been. And you can go there and it comes with the room. But. Did we outlast the music? You have to be in Japan. Thank you. Because they're so clean. That's how it works.

And there's no. You will only eat at a buffet in a country with zero visible unhoused people. Oh, it's not about homeless people. It's about garbage, it's about cleanliness, it's about no shaking. I'm just saying, you're eating at the cleanest city in the world. I always think of that one cult in Oregon

that put Listeria in the salad bar, and like what if some freak accident happened and someone just like put a little drip of some bacteria in the salad bar? It happened one time and I saw it in a Netflix document. Are you anti-buffet? No, I'm pro, I eat buffets all the time. But I feel like I'm rolling the dice every time.

Are you anti-kool-aid because one time the kool-aid was such that it poisoned all of those? No, but I do think about it. I'm just saying. Every time you have some kool-aid? When I think about kool-aid, I'm like, I think about the cult. You're like, Jonestown. Yeah. Terrible, terrible thing. WhenAid, I'm like, I think about the cult. Jonestown. Yeah.

Terrible, terrible thing. You think what I put on my Nikes, anything about the Hale-Bopp comment? Ha ha ha ha ha. The judges on that one, what do we think? I think we're realizing we're kind of more like David Sampson than we all realize. Also.

If you don't like kids and germs, you're halfway there. Right. Final one, final question. Simple rules. David, you get invited to go to the zoo with friends. Do you go? No. Not a human.

Who doesn't love a zoo? I love the zoo. You just don't like the zoo? Is that the? Ever since I went on a safari, I've never been back to a zoo. Oh, it's just, it's beneath you now. Not, not, well.

It's like, it's just, you've experienced the joy. I also don't want to be out of control of a situation where I don't go anywhere with friends and their family because I wanna be trapped. Or if I do, I take my own car. I always have to have an exit strategy from any position I'm in. So the answer is I wouldn't go to a zoo

where like in one car, where oh my God, are you done with the monkey exhibit? I'm just picturing David on one of those like six people bike things at the zoo where they're all pedaling around. Come on, guys. Let's go see the hippo. I did a lot of that with my kids, Chris. I don't believe you.

Yeah, no, I did. They have adult nights at the zoo now. Oh, they do. They serve wine and stuff. And you go with your friends. And it's like a cool night out that's not a bar or something. It's fun. It reminds me, we should get Ron on the show

to talk about those vultures. Speaking of, those are insane. Have you stayed in a room at the house where they come to your balcony? Turkey vulture, what are you saying? Dude, I posted on Instagram the night before I fell and chipped my tooth. There was a massive vulture on the balcony

and it just kept staring at me. You should've known. Guys, spitball, spitball idea here, no bad ideas. What do you think tomorrow? We set up a Zoom camera on one of the balconies, we put a little food out there, we just keep a live feed of it going throughout the whole show and we check in.

Go up to the top floor of the house, so you don't need food, they will come. I switched rooms, they thought, oh, David Sampson, you come here a lot, let's put you on the top floor like a VIP. I walked in the room, I looked at all of the white, it's really urine, it's not bird poop, I think it's actually urine.

Let's really find out what this is, go ahead. But those birds come to your balcony, you can't go on your balcony. I say we do a science experiment, we put food out there for an hour, see what happens, and then maybe we put Ethan out there for an hour, see what happens. I want Ethan holding a turkey vulture on his arm

like a falconer. You've got Ethan holding the vulture. I've got the vulture grabbing little Ethan and flying off with him. Talk about the numbies that would get. Just all of a sudden, little Ethan and his... Talk about the lawsuit that would get. Wrongful death. Good executive producer.

Don't take Gabe! Not Gabe! Who in the office is most likely to be carried away by a vulture? I had David. I had Samson. It's gotta be David. David, Samson, or Ethan. I would assume I'm amongst the lightest.

I think Ethan's lighter than you. I, I. Can you bring Ethan in here? Ethan, Ethan's, he might be a little taller than me. All right, when Ron is on the phone, we're gonna bring Ethan in here. We're gonna ask Ron which of these two people is most likely to be carried away by a turkey vulture.

He's 140, Ethan. I got him. Really? 137. Save this debate. Wow. I think the game is done, probably. Although after last night, maybe 139.

A lot of stone crap. We're gonna go for the visual bit of them standing next to each other and Ron saying which one would get picked. How tall is he? I don't know. More than 65? Inches, you do this inches thing.

Five, six. 66 inches? He's got me. That's it. Just to sit there and look at a harbinger of doom staring at me in the eye. And then I said, you know what, maybe I'll just walk away and then it'll fly off,

because it's just taking, nope. Sucker was out there for like 20 minutes You didn't switch rooms? No, I just didn't open like I was Someone said why'd you like go out there and kind of shoot away. I'm not opening the door. What if it gets inside? You die And the very next day I mean and then the next day I fell and chipped my tooth that turkey stole your tooth It was the turkey so I would a trench coat and a hat on. Friends it's JerBear and you know that I'm obviously a bit of the romantic type and Valentine's

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guarantees. Don LeBattard. Again, started on the breakfast plan. Oh man, I've been singing It's only an iOS mobile app see guarantee details at TurboTax.com slash guarantees Don LeBretard again started on the breakfast lawn man. I've been singing a song to myself all morning long Stugats you never heard the breakfast song? No hit me with it. Okay. I wish I had some breakfast Breakfast fun What can I find a breakfast like that Da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da I have an issue with buildings where they're supposed to be some sort of correlation between what floor you're on and how sort of unique and how upscale it is to be on a high floor because they get more expensive as you go higher in New York at least. It should be the opposite here.

I hate I've stayed at this hotel. I don't want to be on the fricking 40th floor. It's terrifying to be on the balcony. So in theory, it's supposed to be more expensive and that's what they do. And I've always viewed it the opposite that I get scared up high and I ask for the lower floors. Also you have to wait so long for the elevators.

Let me get that 17. You know what I love? I love the idea that both of you two, it's like, oh, being up there, it's too scary on the balcony. You go up to the room and it's like, should I stay in my room? Nope, gotta see what this balcony's about.

Oh my God, that's a far way down there. Oh, whoa. You can just not go on the balcony. You can just stay in the room. Do you picture yourself falling? Of course, yeah. I have to look down. Yeah, you gotta get, you feel those jelly legs.

Yeah. It's totally normal. It's meant to make me feel abnormal that I have these feelings, but I do get the jelly legs. I do have the vision. Who, when you say it is meant to, that's a very third person way of describing

what something else is doing to you. Who is doing that to you? Well, you guys are, you guys, that's what you do. That's your bit. Are you, whenever I'm on any balcony. I keep my hand on the on the door Again, I don't know if I'm the only one So I'm the vulture might come no, it's just so I'm grounded I Have a massive fear of heights too. So I can I relate to this

But I don't know that I go as far as holding on to the door the entire time But that also depends on the size of the balcony the balconies at the officer are not big no They are they're very narrow. There's no room for furniture So I feel as though you have to have your hand on the door These things don't impact me I think like other people I'm not. But that's because you know how you're gonna die. I was gonna say, this all goes back to Amin

having a dream about his own death, so. Yeah. It's hard to really. Prophecy. It's a, something we call a dream. Compare human experiences with that. What was it, I'm sorry, you don't know this? Yeah, I'm gonna die in a car crash. Yeah, so, but that means anytime I'm on a plane

or anything like that, and everyone's freaking out, I'm like, I always say, don't worry, this is not how I go out. I reassure everybody. And when you get into a car, do you say, holy shit? Dude, I was thinking about that literally on the Uber ride from the airport today. I was like, strangely, I'm less terrified

when someone else is driving. When I'm driving, I think about it constantly. Because in the dream, you're the driver. Am I the driver? I don't know, I Because in the dream, you're the driver. Am I the driver? I don't know, I can't remember. That's an important note. But I know I feel a great amount of fear when I'm driving. Have you noticed friends that are like,

oh, I'm gonna catch the next one. Like when you're like, I'm gonna go get an Uber, and they're like, I'm gonna, yeah. I'll meet you there, I gotta go upstairs and go to the bathroom first, you go ahead. By the way, we have a video, an update from Stu Gotts. Stu Gotts and Billy are at Radio Row. He's talking to Cam Jordan.

Oh, we have an update from New Orleans. And I'm being told the Old Spice guy. I don't know what's in this, but it's apparently a funny video. Here you go. Listen to me. I love you. I appreciate you.

No, I love you. I love you. I love you, man. Okay. There's not enough, I was feeling like, we're not spreading enough love in the world right now and I wanna spend my week telling people that I love them. So I love both of man. Okay. I was feeling like that. We're not spreading enough love in the world right now and I want to spend my week telling people that I love them. So I love both of you guys.

I appreciate them. And I love you. Thank you. Thank you very much. Thank you. Cam does it though. We're going to be very intrepid about the uses of love. I think he's overusing it.

I deeply enjoy your company. I love you. I don't care what you feel. I don't care how you feel about me, sir. Hell yeah. Let me just say this to you down there. Yes. I love you.

Hey, I love you, old Spice guy. What did you say to me? It's catching hold. I love you too. Oh, this is great. I can't stop. I have a deep affection for everyone. Yeah.

But will retain my love for the ones that I truly love. And Cam. Damn it. The love is growing. The fact that I'm carrying you with me shows you how much I care for you. It's a lot of love. a lot of love at Radio Row. I don't like Billy leaning in the way he was leaning in.

I thought that he was critically ill. We went through this yesterday. Now he's on air doing his job, which is great having recovered from being- Wait, what are you mad at? That video appeared to me as though Billy was instead of facing out, he was facing toward the guest while talking.

I assume you all noticed that, right there. When you are sick with norovirus or whatever it is that he had, don't you think you ought to be speaking straight ahead? Yeah, but he, first of all, the idea that germs are like, oh, can't make a left, I'm just gonna go straight here if he talks.

But Billy missed the whole day and got medication. He was told by a doctor, you take this 24 hour later, you won't be contagious, so that's what. What kind of, what, Dr. Seuss? Antibiotics take 28 to 72 hours to kick in. I'd like to not be sued by the Old Spice guy. So let's maybe just keep our theories theories about for non-disclosure of Norovirus I'm just saying that I don't think any of us have a firm grasp on what's currently legal

And is Billy wearing the same shirt as he is behind us sure and we go back to that video That's yeah, is there a chance that that's the shirt that I'm looking at. No It looks the same. It feels the same, but I don't think it is the same. It looks like a shirt out of the collection of that guy whose shirt you were wearing. Dan Flashes. Is that Kyle Brant behind Billy? The more intricate the design,

the more expensive the shirt. What was the name of the guy who designed that shirt? Robert Graham. Robert Graham. No one's ever heard of Robert Graham? Tim Robinson. I'm a little shocked RG one Without his own show I'm glad that the old Spice guy stayed in character, which I guess that's what he's paid. I love you

Thank you the old Spice guy was seeing Jake from State Farm. He got cop blow up and was like I need a did you notice that? What that's my sky what happened again? I noticed it on the video did anyone not see it? You got what go on do you. Did anyone not see it? You got what? Go on. Do you know what cupped is? I thought you said something else. The circles on him, he had circles on him?

I didn't notice that. So I don't, I guess we should go back to him and maybe I saw it wrong, but I- I thought you were saying a different one. Yeah, we all heard something else. Cuck. Yeah, you just cupped with a P is what you said. I heard a different kind of-

It's a different kind of- We all heard different kind of spice. I think that's a cut mark. I think that's a shadow of his microphone. Yeah, that's the shadow of a microphone. Thank you. You're welcome. It's very circular. This man's whole gig is having flawless skin

and being muscular and having deep voice. Why would he cup himself prior to Super Bowl, Radio Row? He is shirtless for the audio audience, I guess. This is a very radio rowy clip. There's a product placement. There's a, what is that? There's a train going over us right now. How is that possible?

I took my headphones off to be like, is that, is there a plane? It's a New Yorker, that's not a great sound. Look, that was horrifying. I don't like downtown Miami. I'm just gonna throw that out there. Let me tell you something. Beats the hell out of South Beach. That's horrifying. I don't like downtown Miami. I'm just gonna throw that out there. Let me tell you something. Beach the hell out of South Beach.

That's true. But I guess, have you guys? Granted, there are vultures and questions about whether something is happening. I don't understand how we just heard a plane like that. So the sound of a- That feels like a Miami problem, not a building problem.

The sound of an earthquake is the sound of a train. If you've ever been in an earthquake, it sounds as though a train is coming into your room when you're in an earthquake. The sound of this, it's hap... Wait, you guys are making this up, right? No, it's a plane. It's just a plane.

They can't come this often. No, that's not a plane, Chris. That's something in the air ducts. I don't know what, but something. So I would have sworn it was a plane, but now I'm open to the idea that it's a ghost. Oh, let's go back to the- Maybe Dan's hungry.

To the... That's the stomach rumbling? I lost my train of thought, I'm very sorry, but that scared me. I wanted to- Don't worry, we were just making fun of your shirt. The Miami Beach has come out with a an ad campaign actively telling people not to come to spring break for a couple years have you seen this yeah couple years the one where it looks like a like a reality show

because I'm watching this looks like the worst show ever and then and then I realized oh no this isn't a show, this is an ad. And I thought to myself, wow, how many places in the world advertise do not come here? It's a cyclical thing. If you live down here, you agree with this. If you live on Miami Beach, I came down to Fort Lauderdale as a spring breaker way back in the 80s. What was that like?

It was fantastic, but not for people who live there. Hot water bottles, as far as the eye could see. No. Napoleon. Well, I think the local business owners though, don't. I guess it's mixed. Some of them do like, some of them lose a lot of business now.

It's a bit of an issue that they increased the parking to a hundred bucks so no one can park. No one can afford to. South of 23rd Street, I think. Which is crazy. But it's like when Ultra comes to town, the people who live right around here, they leave. They don't wanna be around for that type of festival,

but the people who go to it are super happy and high and loving it. So I'm completely in favor of what my bitch is doing. They've done it for an economic reason. And they've said that it's better not to have these spring breakers. But I guess my question is still, how many places on earth have ad campaigns

actively telling people don't come here? I don't think it's the same shirt. We're putting this up now, not to interrupt you, but I think it's a different shirt. Different shirt. Oh, it is a different shirt. Judge's rule, different shirt. But it's the same, I bet you it's the same make.

Damn flashes. They're both loud. No, I'm a different shirt. But it's the same, I bet you it's the same make. Damn flesh. They're both loud. No, I'm saying the same designer. Oh, the brand's loud. Is that a brand? No, I was kidding, it's just a lot of shirt. Okay, thank you, Chris. Can we find out what brand that is?

Does he have a deal? I'm currently Googling Robert Graham. I'm gonna go out on a limb and say Billy does not have a wardrobe deal. He does not, okay. I would think this might have been like a four pack situation. The Costco four pack undies? Is that what he did not it's not it's not criticizing the quality

But if I know Billy he's looking for a bargain and so he's gonna find alright I like the way that that shirt fits. Let me get four of them Well damn flashes is a very aggressive brand though, so you got to keep that in mind Can I give you the Wikipedia note under popular culture, a subsection on the Robert Graham page that I just located? This is the shirt that David Sampson was blaming us for not appreciating. American Idol judge Randy Jackson frequently wears

Robert Graham shirts on the show. And the contrasting shirt cuffs have been closely identified with the character Cameron Tucker from the television show, Modern Family. So just to give you a sense visually of what that might be like. You walk by a store and you see 50 guys who look like, just like me, fighting over very complicated shirts.

You go in. Yes, you do. You go in. Stand flashes. David has no idea what's happening at this point. I'm not gonna be embarrassed about shirts that I like. I like designs. I wore one last night.

I know you did. And I didn't, I think I look better than your windbreaker. Your members only windbreaker. I think my windbreaker looks great. They have a shirt there that costs $2,000 cause it's so complicated. That's not the shirts I buy. Those are limited edition, very unique pieces.

I'm hearing just Dominique in the back of my head yelling at me to take over the show and I've been ignoring it for a while and I finally wanna get to a story that I brought in early this morning to Chris because a lot of people got in my mentions over the last couple of days about a breaking news story of its own.

Yeah. Bro, I'm Marcus Jordan. I'm Michael Jordan's son. I'm not doing anything wrong. I'm just trying to get home. And I made a wrong turn. Okay? And clearly, we would just like to get our car off of the train track It's which we were not trying to be on but that's why I had to get you out of the car Okay, because I hear spinning tires. I hear slur speech from you. You're driving on train tracks. I'm not slurring anything and I'm okay I'm letting you know I have concerns. Well I appreciate that. I can't let you back behind the car and drive a vehicle.

I appreciate your concerns. But I am not inebriated. I'm not anything that cannot drive home. The thing is, I'm not familiar with this area. I made a right. I area. I made a right Right onto the highway I made it right onto the Train track. Where did you turn that man? I wish I wish I could tell you but

I'm glad we blurred out the cop faces and you missed the best part of the video. Wait, hold on I want to set, I need to set up the visuals. This is Michael Jordan's son as, Oh, is that who that was? As he had noted, Marcus Jordan, standing in front of his luxury automobile, which was pointed the wrong way, literally on a bed of cartoon train tracks. And that is where the police found him, thanks to this body camera video,

which is a fraught concept, but very useful for content, it turns out, on a day like today. David, what was your objection? My objection is that there's a rule that you're told as a celebrity or as a child of a celebrity, it's a very simple rule. You do not, when you're pulled over, Vince Namoli did.

Anybody, Vince Namoli, former owner of the Tampa Bay Devil Rays. Vince Namole got pulled over in Tampa and said, you know who I am. I am the owner of the Tampa Bay Devil Rays. And he then got summarily not let off. We played the portion where he dropped the name. I don't know if you didn't hear it.

So I missed that. So Vince Namole came to an owner's meeting after that and said, hey, here's a lesson, don't ever say that. And so that is what is taught like in owner's meetings, the first time you get the handbook, like you never talk about. The guy who tried to do this and didn't get away with it said, pro tip.

Don't do that. The real question is, how do I let them know that I'm Michael Jordan's son without saying it? You just give the ID and you hope that they make the connection. If you have to say it, you're not famous enough to talk your way out. Bang. I think that is unfortunately the rule, David.

I think Jess has articulated it well. Earlier I told you guys the story of how I got in by just scah, you know. Oh, no. We're winding back around to that. There's a flip side to that coin, which was later that week, trying to get in somewhere and the bouncer, I say, yeah, it's just me and my buddy. And he looks at me and he's like, and you are?

And I say, you know, go on, man. Shot some finger guns at him. I was like, yeah, man, you know, I'm like I'm on Sports Nation or whatever. And he looks at me and man, you know, I'm like a month sports nation or whatever. And he looks at me and he says. You started giving him an A block worthy take. Oh, you know, I'm just like, you know, like I just put out the chum so that he said,

oh man, like what do you think is gonna happen? And he looks at me up and down and he says, I watch ESPN every single day of my life. And I ain't never seen your ass. And a bolt of lightning came from the sky and hit me and everything just, and I was like, then I started stuttering and I knew I lost it right there. And I was like, I try to be like,

I am, I am. And you turned around and walked away? That's so uncomfortable. Luckily someone I knew was walking in like, he's good, but not. That's good timing. No, it's bad timing. I needed it before he said it loud in front of everybody.

And I started stuttering and stumbling. And instantly all the mask of celebrity and cool that I had was gone. Can you help me? Is this the Jordan who was with Scottie Pippen? Yes, yes. Was he with Scottie Pippen? There's a moment in the video.

No, so the saga. That's gone? So Marcus and Larsa Pippen were guests on my show. I was called in a headline in the New York Post, miserable by them for casting aspersions upon their relationship. So the reason people keep on getting in my mentions about this is because I am the foremost journalistic

authority on Marcus, Jordan, and Larsa Pippen, who have since broken up. And so this is- Who's this someone else? This is a woman who is not Larsa Pippen, definitively. Do you know that for sure from the video? Yes, I've examined the Fuller tape. We had to cut that down, there's more.

But I don't take a special pleasure in watching that video. I just think that he's checking every box on funny thing a vaguely notable person would do if their car was on a train track. He said inebriated. It's cartoon shit. You're not supposed to say that word. If I may, I think generally this makes me sad, however it does remind me of the best Reno 911 clip

of all time, which is the drunk DUI stop where the officer and the drunk guy are doing a dance routine. And then at the end, he says that he's drunk. It's so good. But he gets him, he's like. She's like, are you a dancer? And he's like, no, I'm just drunk.

And she's like, ah. Ah. Jess, that video, I knew Twitter X was cooked when I saw videos about police misconduct, like highlight montages, include that clip. Come on, they didn't have that. No, please stop. Absolutely, this has been recirculated

as actual body cam footage in lots. And again, am I revealing that I also click on those montages, perhaps. But then you get more of them, according to the algorithm. Look, we're not our clicks. You are. We are not. This is a belief, this is a take I have.

We are not our clicks. Really, say that again. I am my clicks. We are not our clicks. Yes, you hear that, Zach Harper? Our true preferences are not expressed by what we click on. We just happen to click on them sometimes. Yeah, the algorithm's not like,

ooh, you must really love and agree with this. The algorithms like, Oh, here's him spending more time on this type of content. I'm just going to keep feeding it to him spoon feeding it over and over and over. I am being preyed upon, like an animal being picked apart by a vulture. By the algorithm Turkey vulture. By the way, I want to find out what Ramagill's For You page is like, and I want to get him on the phone to talk about these vultures after the break. Friends, it's JerBear, and you know that I'm obviously a bit of the romantic type,

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