The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz - Hour 1: Tony Applies To Be UM's Assistant Football Coach

Episode Date: March 6, 2025

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This is the Dan Lebatard Show with the StuGots Podcast. This episode of the Dan Lebatard Show with Stu Gotz is presented by DraftKings. DraftKings, the crown is yours. Video, please put in the corner just that montage of Terry Rozier playing basketball very poorly. There are a number of mistakes being made here that are unusual for an NBA player. What you feel bad for me doing that? I mean, we can't have bad games.

You don't have bad days, Dan? Oh, but this is the worst player in the league empirically. He just passed it to no one. Yes, he's doing things that are just super confusing out there. Metaphorically, have you not just passed it to no one? The audience, listening audience, I'm sorry. They're doing it again. It's Philip Seymour Hoffman now in a different scene

with a lot more people, a lot more black people. That's weird, Philip Seymour Hoffman seems to be black himself and- Speaking of the movies, Sean Baker, the director of Anorah, I've been reading about him recently and there are a couple of great stories that he was telling. One of them was on the making of RoboCop, which when he got the script, he threw it in the garbage can immediately, and his wife fished it out of the garbage can, and she's like, this is a lot smarter than

you think it is, and now he thinks it's a masterpiece. He thinks it's, you know, a tale about American corporate greed and the sensationalism of the American media. But Enora wins Best Picture, and this director is now going to get whatever opportunity he wants here because everyone fell in love with the story of Is it a Russian oligarch's kid is basically falling in love and giving over his fortune to a lady of the night? Well falling in love marrying a of the night. Well, falling in love, marrying a sex worker, and she's always very quick to correct people, and whether she's right or wrong in that regard is a running joke

throughout it. Sean Baker won four different Academy Awards. First time ever. It was incredible. I also read that Enora's budget was $6 million. They spent $18 dollars campaigning to win this award by sending Academy members gifts goodies all sorts of stuff. Physical DVD screeners at this day and age everyone gets like a digital screener which is basically here's the link and it'll be around for 48 hours watch the movie etc etc. They sent physical DVDs because they thought that having the artwork and having something you can hold in your hand would be more impactful on the voters And and as Mike said six million dollar budget eighteen million dollars spent on the marketing towards the this campaign

Specifically not the market for the movie the marketing for the Oscar FIC for your consideration for your consideration This is for a movie that made $41 million. Now that's not the most amazing part. The most amazing part is the label basically that put this out, Neon Films. This is their second Oscar win in five years. Netflix hasn't done that. Disney hasn't done that. They also made Parasite. Parasite was an $11 million budget.

They spent $20 million on that. Also, last year Anatomy of a Fall was theirs as well it was nominated did not win but it did win best original screenplay this guy Tom Quinn over at neon he might be you want to talk about go poaching somebody like if I'm a bitch gonna say what is what is what does it take here do we feel bad about it sounds like you guys are saying that they're buying the award through their marketing. I actually kind of was wise to this after we made the musical and I was like this is pretty good

for what it is. Like you have TikTok musicals being talked about as Grammy nominees. So I'm like, how's the process? How do we get people to formally consider this? It was a commercial success. It was number one on iTunes. It's pretty good, we feel strongly about it. And then I was, my eyes were open to just the seedy underworld of how much money people spend to become Academy Award winners or Grammy winners. The idea here, Dan, is to me it's a triumph because Neon is not Netflix, it's not Apple,

it's not Disney. It's not even A24. Right, it's not even A24. It started in 2017, they're not even. It's not even 824. Right, it's not even 824. It started in 2017. They're not even 10 years old. They figured out the formula. Step one of the formula, you gotta make good movies. Good, compelling movies with good stories.

But spend three times the budget on marketing than you do on the art? Hold on, hold on. Step two is to be able to do these fiscally responsibly. Right, because by doing it low budget, you allow for the other money to come in and do so. They've also got a couple other horror movies that did really well in the box office.

100 Million Dollar Long Legs, I think is one of them. No doubt. But the idea here, Dan, is this is something that Hollywood, big Hollywood, is going away from. They're like, hey, you need a big budget. You gotta spend $200 million. Hey, it's gotta have all types of CGI. And oh, by the way, it has to be based on

some existing IP somewhere else. And here is a small indie house that says, we're not gonna spend a lot to make our movies. We're gonna make good movies, original stories. And then the money that we do spend is going to be to get the things that are gonna give us the accolades. Even that is underselling it. because this is how every industry works like you could be really good in any in any industry and if you don't spend the

money to show the entire world outside of you being in a forest in a tree falling and no one's there to see it nobody will know and so in in movies and entertainment in general there's two rules of thumb you can either go really big-name you can put The Rock on your movie, you can put Tom Cruise, and everybody will naturally go and see it. And yeah, you put the marketing budget behind it as well, but even those movies are not just really good movies,

they're incredible movies, right? And so they're like, hey, we can make this incredible movie, this incredible script, with the perfect actors to bring it to life. And then you're picking exactly, like this is incredible story, I know if anybody sees it, it will shoot to the top. Like Parasite, like this film as well.

It's more meta than just trying to get Parasite or a Nora to win best picture. It's an investment on trying to become what MirrorMaxx was, what A24 is certainly more than Neon is right now, a taste-making studio. If I see A24 on the title card, I'm locked in. I trust this studio, they make good stuff. I trust this studio, it's a tastemaker.

Neon's not quite there yet, but now with the successful award season, you're gonna consider them as a tastemaking studio, and as soon as you see that Neon graphic on the trailer, you're like, I'm in, no matter what. And Tom Quinn, the head of Neon, said, look, box offices and everything. Because Anura is one of the smallest box offices

for an Oscar best picture winner ever, right? So he says box office is not the only revenue stream. Anura is number one across every entertainment platform, Amazon, Apple. That is massive. Again, that all feels back into because people know about it and more people people know about it and more people will know about it because of that Oscar.

Well, let me, little I've learned of the movie industry over the last four years is a company that makes movies. It's been super interesting to see the streaming services make everything shake and rattle in Hollywood. And this particular film being made cheaply while you mentioned The Rock. The Rock is now gonna team up with Scorsese and DiCaprio and Emily Blunt in a new movie that's coming out.

So what's the formula now? What are we doing? Because we are at some point going to reach, whether they run the writers off or the AI takes over, or we're just gonna do superhero movies for the rest of time, we're gonna run into a point here where we're gonna have to make a choice

between these things because everyone in Hollywood says that it's on the verge of collapse, that it's not going to exist the way that it's existed before given what the streaming services are doing and given that Amazon and Netflix are basically running everything. I think we're in the middle of the sea change right now. You're seeing more cost efficiency

and you're actually seeing what people have been clamoring for because I think we're in the middle of the sea change right now. You're seeing more cost efficiency and you're actually seeing what people have been clamoring for because I think we did reach critical mass on IP and franchises and a lot of that was the Marvel product just got so diluted. These were tent poles that just kept the box office industry afloat, kept people employed in studios and when the quality of those started getting diminished, people were like, what are we gonna do? And it's why I touted the horror genre so much because those can be made for

smaller budgets and you can tell really creative stories. And Neon is finding ways to do that beyond just the horror genre. And I think that this might be the new model. And I also think to your point, like this is still entertainment. This shit has to be good. I think the over saturation of just content in general, and it doesn't matter whether it's sports, movies, documentary, podcast, it's like you have access to everything and the only cream that's gonna rise to the top is ones who are actually good. It doesn't matter how many big names are in it.

That's why it's a quote unquote collapse. Because typically with the finite amount of options you have, if we only put this in the box office because we paid and we've paid the biggest actors and the biggest directors, everyone's going to rush to see it. That's not the truth anymore. I could sit home and find a movie like Parasite and be like, yo, that's incredible. And I'd rather do that than to go to the box office and see the big names because I can guarantee it's a lower barrier of entry to a really good, entertaining couple of hours. I just wonder though, I really do wonder in the shift

away from all this stuff, if I give people the option, what's gonna make you happier here? What's more successful, Parasite or Paradise? A TV show in eight parts that grabs somebody for, somebody who grabs something that grabs you for eight episodes and takes eight hours of your time. Like all I heard about The Brutalist, I heard more about The Brutalist being long

than I did about it being good. And Adrian Brody, I don't know what just happened to Adrian Brody's reputation nationally and internationally, but I think he just caught more heat for being arrogant while making a speech than I've seen Adrian Brody catch for anything as he was feeling pretty good about himself. I heard y'all talk about Adrian Brody the other day, man.

You guys. He's still talking, actually. Look, it wasn't a great look to demand more time and then not know what to do. It was the opposite of that. Right? But I think where he was going, and he kind of meandered his way through it,

but clearly he was thrown off by the whole music thing, which was he wanted to talk about social issues. He wanted to talk about antisemitism. He wanted to talk about like just hatred overall of others, so to speak, in the world. And I think he had in his mind, oh, I'm gonna like punctuate this thing with this very profound speech for peace and love

and all that stuff. And in between him being able to get to that point, he gets cut off by the music and he got irritated and he's like, oh, don't do that to me. I've been here before, I know how this works. Yeah, so basically people know, I know that they're about to play the music, but having said that, I thought he wanted

to say something poignant, but he got flustered and got thrown off, and instead everyone just thinks, oh, he's just a jerk who wanted more time. Like he wanted more time for something, I think, a little bit bigger than just thank mom and dad. I didn't see the speech. Was it a good speech at least? No, it wasn't.

No, he kind of rambled through it. Very bad reaction to it. It sounds like it. It went on for three minutes. They played the music. And then he's like, hey, stop the music. I swear I'm going somewhere with this. I'm about to land the plane.

And then he went on for another three minutes. And then they played the music again. But didn't land the plane. That's not just what he did. When he said stop the music, I've done this before. He did it with Eric. And he said he showed the Ericists. He's reminding everybody I'm a two time best actor.

But also letting them know, like guys, I get it. You guys, we're on a timer here. I'm gonna get there, I promise. But I have something more important than anybody else that wanted extra time. But then I got, well, cause everyone else is just thanking their mom and their cat and stuff like that because it's their first Oscar.

But if I won my second Oscar, it's like, okay, mom and dad, y'all get it. But more importantly, I wanna talk about these social issues. I've made out with Halle Berry twice Can I have more time please? Thank you Did he know he did on the red Adrian? You thought I was I was breaking news I was about to leave the show like Hawk it's your show now Sorry, Dan. It's the Andrew Hawkins show I think Adnan vert called Brody the worst two-time Academy

Award winner ever. That's not true. I guarantee I can find some. Two-time club is hard to get into. Adrian Brody's a good actor. But just good. I'm going to find an answer. For me, it was cutting too close to the bone,

because I'm like, oh no, Pat Riley's hanging on to something for too long. Gene Hackman, I think, won two of these. I heard a coroner talk the other day, and it's the most plausible theory I've heard so far from any angle. Coroner, they brought in some of the forensics people and they're like the most likely event is that Gene Hackman had some sort of cardiac episode that his wife got scared, ran to the bathroom to get whatever it is that he needed for his cardiac episode, tripped and falls

and then the pills are found all over where she is and she died in the going and getting of the pills and then the dog died in the cage. And the space heater was just there? Because the space heater is weird. Like that and what's in it for Travis Scott? Those are the two questions that are just like plaguing my mind right now. I for one am someone that can struggle with technology even though I've been raised in the age of technology. Do you ever feel overwhelmed trying to manage your web hosting while juggling a million other tasks? Even if tech isn't your thing, Kinsta's managed WordPress hosting is a relief. Their expert team handles it all. They've bundled up all the essentials to make sites stress-free with speeds that'll wow your visitors, security that never sleeps, and a dashboard so intuitive, you'll wonder why everything isn't this easy.

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No tech expertise required. Just visit Kinsta.com slash Dan to get started. That's K-I-N-S-T-A dot com slash Dan. Dan LeBretard. For five minutes I was watching everyone just like nope not letting you in not letting you in so when I got up there I had to say something and I said it cheaters never prosper still guts my buddy was saying not today Yeah, but you're not today. I think that was what he was adding I got from this guy what I said was amazing. He got a cheaters never prosper this guy yelled as angry as he could This is the done libertar Show with the StuGards. I'm telling you, I just opened the list and I'm already overwhelmed by names. You want to tell me Adrian Brody is worse than Renee Zellweger?

Yeah. Yeah. Preposterous. Yeah, you know, he's way worse than Renee. So wait, no way What about Diane Weist the worst? Are you kidding? The worst da in the history of law and order no she's Diane Weiss is better no way he's the we's Jane Fonda Come on. You have my vote Jane Fonda no Jane. Come on better than better than. Oh no Jane. Come on, better than Adrian Brody?

Come on man. I mean Jane Fonda's legacy will be larger than Adrian Brody's but I'm gonna have trouble finding the movies that she was the Oscar winner. I'm not fond of her. Spencer Tracy, you guys don't even know who that is. Wait a minute, that's a huge movie star, Spencer Tracy. He was in 1937.

Oh, what are we doing? Sorry, I don't know who that is. Dan, how do you know that? Milwaukee was a hockey legend. Spencer Tracy was in 1937. Oh, what are we doing? I don't know who that is. Dan, how do you know that? Milwaukee was haunted legend. Spencer Tracy is a famous name. He hangs out with Greg Cody. Spencer Tracy, Milwaukee legend, local legend according to Dan, two-time Oscar winner. You guys are doing this wrong. You guys are making me sound like I'm against Tyler Lockett when I'm not against Tyler Lockett. You were very anti-lockett. It sounded anti-lockett. Tyler Lockett's not eating for free in Idaho, okay? He's eating for free in Seattle. Give me the name of someone who's eating for free in Idaho.

That's not from Idaho. Yeah, especially someone black. Kellen Moore. Travis Kelce. Travis Kelce is a music industry legend. That's why he's eating for free in Idaho. It's not because of his football. Ian Johnson.

Travis Scott? What's in it for him? eating for free in Idaho. It's not because of his football. Ian Johnson. Scott? What's in it for him? Free dinners in Idaho? Travis Kelsey is the tight end. Yes. He's a Hall of Famer. Travis Kelsey would eat for free in Idaho. He's also an NFL legend.

He's a Hall of Famer. But he would also eat for free in Idaho for music reasons. Do you think Ian Johnson would? He's the running back that had the game winning score for Boise in the Fiesible and then proposed. Yeah. He would eat for free. Is he eating for free in Seattle? That's the questionco Bowl and then proposed. He would eat for free.

Is he eating for free in Seattle? That's the question. No, absolutely not. Absolutely not, absolutely not. Tony, I teased earlier this week something that I never got to and then you weren't here the last couple of days and I was looking for you

because I wanted to close the loop on a question that I asked you Monday where you came in here with what I said was very bad judgment and announced to me that you had found another job. I didn't say I found another job. I said I applied for another job. But again, a side gig won't take me away from here too much, but a side gig.

And what is that side gig? I'm glad that Mike's here. So I was on LinkedIn the other day, just moseying around. I'm a father now. LinkedIn seems like an important thing for father. It's what you do. For older people.

I don't know, I'm there on the computer like, huh, haven't checked LinkedIn in a while. Let me see what's going on there. people. I don't know. I'm there on the computer like, huh, I haven't checked LinkedIn in a while. Let me see what's going on there. And then I don't know, Dan, I don't know if you've ever been on LinkedIn before. It doesn't strike me as a LinkedIn kind of guy. National legend doesn't need to be.

Exactly. So they have different things that pop up. Oh, this person said this about the stock market. I'm like, who cares? And then it's like, oh, jobs to apply for. Usually I don't look at that tab, obviously, Dan, because I'm happily employed here. But on this day, I happened to.

But on this day, I happened to. But on this day, something caught my eye. Danger again. You weren't so happily employed. Something caught my eye, and I said, I'm instantly applying. So obviously on LinkedIn, they have easy applies where you just bam, a couple buttons, boom, boom, boom.

All of a sudden, I'm applied for this job. I need Mike Ryan's help because the job that I applied for was assistant head coach of the Miami football program. And it is in right now. I sent the application, so I'm awaiting possible head coach of the University of Miami. Assistant to the head coach? No, no, no.

Assistant head coach. Miami, Florida? Like in Dwight? University of Miami, like my hat says, University of Miami Hurricanes. Need an assistant head coach. I applied on LinkedIn. So again, my papers are in there. I don't know if you can talk to whomever you can talk to the

front office any question see if we can put my stack or my paper at the top of the sack top the sack and then just have an interview I can kind of give them a couple ideas of what I think we bring a camera well links and jobs does get you the best most qualified candidates so I think you're not gonna survive the filter but it but it also the algorithm pushed it to him. The algorithm was like, wait a second, you know something about ball, dude. And then I was like, yes, I do know ball.

But you believe that that's a part-time job, that you're going to be able to do both jobs, just be an assistant head coach over here? Yes. Yes, because it didn't have another position attached to it, which is the weird part for me. It didn't say offensive coordinator and assistant head coach.

It didn't say receiver coach. Nope. It was just like, just assistant head coach. Just nobody to really oversee. You're just around. See, coach says something, and Tony just says, y'all heard? And he just repeats what the coach just said. That's what assistant head coach.

Are y'all listening in the back? Yeah, but it is rare. Hats off. Hats off. You know the rules. No cleats inside. Come on. I don't think I've really seen that before.

Someone that's just assistant head coach. A hype man. I kind of feel like it was assistant. I felt like it was head coach's assistant assistant, but I think he read it wrong No, I'm not gonna accuse him. I Definitely did not it was on the system to the show me this job post Well, why you look that up? I just want to point out real quick Meryl Streep three three Oscars 21 nominations Adrian Brody two for two. You know what I call? I call efficiency right there.

Eli Manning. Three for 21? He's Eli Manning, he's the Florida Marlins. Wow. You just, every once in a while, there's a good year, you win an award for it, and everything else is mediocre. Guess what Eli Manning is? A Hall of Famer.

A legend. Not first by legend. Not a Hall of Famer. A legend, not yet a Hall of Famer a legend not yet a Hall of Famer Assistant head coach I thought was a big job. I don't think assistant head coach is something you find on LinkedIn I have to I have to be clear. It does not say assistant head coach. Okay, just as assistant coach Tony threw it head in there. I saw head. Yeah Mike is it not a real job?

Is it not a real job? This is a real job. Okay, so you just added a head coach in there it does it does say employment type full-time but again, that's a full-time I will say though like while it's not the header. I'm reading the core job functions and it does Say like as well as a performance of all other duties customarily associated of a head coach of a major division one intercollegiate sports program It's all head There is head. I think it needs to be an assistant. I don't think that's an essay I don't think there is that job even open assistant head coach to Mario Cristobal Is that even open for about the job the assistant coach of football assist the head coach in directing management? He stands up behind him and just repeats what he just said that's the job description for every coach in the staff

Are you the guy that like tells like oh, this is a you remind him who someone is you're like his handler almost no That would be like a different position do not do like his handler almost. No, that would be hand. Like a different position. Do not, do not minimize my position, okay? This could be analyst. This analyst? This could be analyst. Hold on, no, no, no. I like this idea.

Tony, this is what we're gonna do. We have a platform here that no other applicant has. Exactly. We have a national, national big show. International. International big show. And so you get to audition, I think, for this role right here.

So okay, so let's role play. Let's role play. Who wants to be Mario Cristobal? Mike? Mike. Mike, you're Mario Cristobal. I'm still data mining. Hello.

Okay, there you go. Chris, you're Mario Cristobal. Thank you. Andrew Hawkins. I applied for the position. I like the, what leadership by you. Yes, and. You stepped up stepped up stepped right into the position We're a hard-working team. We're gonna do better this year Andrew Hawkins. You are

Hot new recruit blue chip five-star legend legend in the making right? damn good player that is right there and I'll be the father and now you guys are on a visit and You're recruiting so go. Nice to meet you. Hey, nice to meet you coach. Thanks for coming by. Your son, great. Everything I see from him, better person than even a player.

Facts. Love the guy. Big fact. Brought in my assistant coach here, he's gonna just be with us helping out a little bit today. Well, my son as you know is one of the most highly sought after recruits in the nation. Put it lightly I'd say.

Why should I trust you to raise my son as a football player? I'm gonna let my assistant handle this one. Guys great to meet you. Andrew, big fan of your stuff. Listen, dad, I got something for you, okay? In this program, what we do is teach leadership, what we do is teach accountability. Hey dad, you see what Carson that posted? What did he post? Was he he with Drewski? He was like, I got him on first take. Andrew, connecting. Was he with Drewski? Hey, Coach.

Coach, with me here. I don't know these young kids, these whippersnappers. Is that a Drewski? I know a bruski. Am I right, Dad? Keep going. You don't. I don't drink.

I used to, though. But you can imagine, if I drank, we'd have a bruski together. I'd like you to tell me why I should trust my son To be in Miami. It feels like a town with a lot of distractions. There is a lot of distractions, but you know what we do here It's a family atmosphere. Yeah, okay. We take care of our guys. We make sure we got eyes on them We got an incredible staff led by me, of course Well, let me make that make sure that everybody's doing what they got to do to get to the next level

Okay, so hey dad That's my body if I can go down to South Beach and practice making a family. You can't do that, I told you about that. Stop playing like that. I'm not gonna have no grandbabies. These kids made me sick. Now, I'm glad you mentioned that.

Andrew, we can link offline. I'm glad you mentioned that, Coach, about taking care of family. How are you gonna take care of our family over here? Me and you can talk. Me and you can talk you can talk talking right now I got something in the back of the trunk of the car deposit it deposit it ocean bank preferably that's my people He talked to Armando make sure everything's good. He'll get your card. Okay. I don't know anything about it

I coach coach coach. I got you. I got you take an important coach me and you will go to South Beach Okay, I'll show you the town. You know dad. I got you my f-150 It's really been giving me problems 25. You want a lightning one? That's that's yes. Yeah You want a lightning one? That's the plug-in My bad, I'm trying to get a new car out of this you get to just drop now my wife She recently got laid off from her job. Is there any? I feel for you, I'm sorry about that, Dad. Any opportunities perhaps within the organization?

We have incredible, incredible opportunities within the university that we can make something happen. Now, the fella over there at Florida tells us that my boy's gonna be a top five overall first round pick. Can you guys guarantee that for us? Ooh, I like that. What's the job pay? What does this job pay? So I've been digging. And this job pays $57,000.

They ain't talking NIL yet. I told you. I don't think the assistant head football coach in Miami is getting fifty seven thousand dollars That's a nice little side. Come on getting a little on a budget glass. Let me hit you back. Okay. Yeah, I'm going to Florida State after this I'm waiting for them to get to the point, but I hate you. I hate you right back. All right The fella up there. I don't know if his name is Bobby Bowden or not. He's dead now. Oh, okay. Well, Bobby Bowden Jr., he let us know that he can take care of us. So, and that my boy's gonna go top five.

So I think without a guarantee to at least, I don't know. Name a number, Dad. Andrew, what do you think? I got a number, two wins. It'll be a five, about five a year. How about six? Okay.

How about a top three? We are not losing this kid to Florida State That's what you understand to win. That's what the coach and when he mentions Florida you say 41 17 Yeah, that's not make it so I thought we was talking about for you five for you I was talking that's what I was talking about. I don't want to get into my numbers yet No, we're gonna get him in the league who's gonna go number one in the NFL draft this year I'm a damn good recruiter. Make him eight for both. This is how I do it. Eight for both.

Y'all got a recording studio? Yeah. Okay. So what kind of, like who had the best mixtape of everybody in the roster last year? Because the fellow. I would like to also, you know, drop a mixtape during the season because you know,

that's what they say about the marketing of it all. It's like you got the most visibility at this part of the year. So I think it's important that we leverage that as a team and I would like for all of the coaches staff to get behind the marketing. I read something recently about the marketing behind the film that won best picture at the Oscar. I would appreciate some kind of investment into making sure that you know come to Grammys or at least the stream is I see a lot of giggles and smiles over there

But I fell up in Florida say toes he got a feature with T pain ready for us off the back Okay, cuz I got Tallahassee. Yes, you're right. Yeah, Andrew listen to this. Mm-hmm. You like DJ Khaled his production work. No, okay good Pivot there No. Okay, good. I don't like them either. Okay. Good pivot there. $57,000 a year doesn't sound very good. I just- This is reading more like the job posting should say Fall Guy. $57,000 on Fall.

Head Coach Fall Guy. Put it on the poll please, Juju at LeBataar Show. He's $57,000 enough to pay a Fall Guy. I want all of you to notice that Chris Cody, when he looked at who should be the assistant head coach and what the job Did reference the movie devil wears Prada where Meryl Streep needed to know Whose name was approaching of the guest that was coming and therefore? What is the name of the the woman who starred office opposite?

Well and Hathaway. Thank you, yes. Ann Hathaway has to come up with the correct name on who, that's what you think the job is? I would join with Veep, the guy that, like her assistant. Jonah. Yeah, Jonah, who's always like, oh, this is Greg Cody, you met him three times, like giving all the info before you meet somebody.

Jonah, who's a big fan of this show, by the way. Well, his name's not Jonah, but Jonah from Veep, he's a big fan of this show. That's a legit part of the job description, by the that is not a fake. Also that's not Jonah. That's a real thing. You know how I learned about that being a job that someone does? Yeah. I remember telling someone yeah like well it's crazy Mark Cuban knew who I was and they're like he doesn't know. There's someone who like that. Brian knew who you were. Amino Hassan from Sports Nation. It's like and it just shattered my world like, damn.

Howdy folks. It's Mike Ryan. I talk to you about Miller time all the time, but we're in the winter time right now and one of my favorite past times is to crack open a Miller light and enjoy myself some Miller time during the winter time, because when there's a brisk chill in the air, it just makes everything right. My friends and I who live down here in South Florida can actually sit outside because it's not super muggy. We can thoroughly enjoy our Miller Time together. And for you listening, I know there's a lot of things going on right now. Sports? Chief among them! Nothing more important than sports! From basketball and hockey to game night, winter means

more moments with the coolest people in your life. Make these moments even better with Miller Lite, the great tasting light beer for people who love beer. Now's the perfect time for friends, family, and a great tasting light beer. TASTE LIKE MILLER TIME! And you know Miller Lite is brewed for taste. It hits different than other light beers, and at just 96 calories and 3.2 grams of carbs per 12 ounces, Miller Time is always a good time. Miller Lite, great taste, 96 calories. Go to MillerLite.com slash Dan to find delivery options near you, or you can pick up some Miller Lite pretty much anywhere they sell

beer. Tastes like Miller time. Celebrate responsibly. Miller Brewing Company, Milwaukee, Wisconsin, 96 calories and 3.2 carbs per 12 ounces. The Dan Levitard Show with Stu Gotts is sponsored by BetterHelp. Who's in your support system and how have they changed your life? Think about that your favorite leaders, mentors, idols, they don't all have the answers, but they do know when to ask for help. In a world that glorifies hyper-independence, we sometimes forget that we thrive with support. We're stronger, healthier, and more resilient when we have people to lean on. Therapy is one of the best ways to build that support system. It helps with positive coping skills, setting boundaries, and becoming the best version of yourself.

Here's the thing, therapy isn't just for those who've experienced major trauma. It helps with positive coping skills, setting boundaries, and becoming the best version of yourself. Here's the thing, therapy isn't just for those who've experienced major trauma, it's for everybody. Whether you're facing a big life transition, feeling overwhelmed, or just want to grow, therapy can help. That's where BetterHelp comes in. With over 30,000 credential therapists, you can find somebody who truly understands you. It's fully online, making therapy accessible, affordable, and convenient. No waiting rooms, no long commutes, just the support you need whenever and wherever you need it. And by the way, if you ever feel like switching therapists, it's no cost to you whatsoever. Build your support system with BetterHelp.

Visit BetterHelp.com slash DLB today to get 10% off your first month. That's BetterHelp. H-E-L-P dot com slash DLB. Don LeBretard to us residents. Think I haven't been practicing. Stu Gats. I didn't realize we had a substitute complicated legacy. 441 powerline road.

Second down to nine. This is the Don LeBattar Show with the StuGats. Tony do you have some new father observations that you can run past Andrew Hawkins? Because since your paternity leave and since you've come back, we have not talked about how little you're sleeping. We have not talked about how your life has been turned totally upside down. And you are now how many months into this experience? Nine weeks, so she's two and some change months. So Amin and Andrew, both fathers, great fathers at that. May I add? He was a great dad to me on that music just now.

I got my boy eight million a year for himself and I got for me too. And you got two F-1s. There you go, lightning. I was surprised that you hit him with that hippity hop. I thought you were playing a little older than I thought you were there. They did.

He doesn't know that that kid's dad is now 36 years old. He's not 60. He's me Tony to give you his new father observations It's Chris Cody What are you doing? Tell us. Mario Cristobal. Don't point at the computer. Blame AI. When?

When we're waiting on you for whatever the queue is. There it is. Dan? Nine months. That's what they told me. Nine months to prepare. Nine months to sleep. Nine months to sleep. Nine months to read books.

Nine months to get the nursery ready. Nine months to get my mind right. Get Mike away from there. And yet, when the moment came, I was not prepared. Not even a little. Not for the waiting. Not for the screaming. Not for my wife turning Not for the screaming.

Not for my wife turning into Prime Ray Lewis when the contractions hit. Oh, yeah. They told me labor takes a while. They didn't tell me it's a hostage situation. Trapped in a tiny hospital room running on fumes a nurse coming in every 15 minutes saying not yet dad almost there. But before I knew it there she was January 1st 2025 209 a.m. L Rose collided was born A moment so surreal so powerful so insanely bloody that can only be described as the Super Bowl of human existence Bloods redder than you think. It's like purple.

Oh my god. Dark red. Except this time, I'm not Jalen Hurts. That was Jenny. She was the MVP. I'm not Nick Sirianni. That was Jenny's mom, who coached her through. I'm not Vic Fangio.

That was Dr. Miranda, who gave a master class on delivery, by the way. I was literally the oxygen guy. I was giving a little mask to the players on the sidelines who actually did something the assistant head coach the assistant head coach In all seriousness everyone in South Miami Hospital was amazing nurses Doctors all the staff I may start doing reads for them on our network by the way They can send me the invoice and I'll make sure middle art gets their cut 80 20 my way of course my kid They also said sleep when the baby sleeps guess what that's a lie

That's video game time Because when the baby sleeps you have a million things to do because your wife can't do them dishes laundry diaper runs sterilizing bottles like you're running a CDC lab Speaking of labs let me not do that. Oh Really go to the pediatrician for a checkup. I really want it now. Yeah, what a scam wait for 48 minutes 92nd appointment the doctor walks in checks the pulse looks her up and down nods Says looking good Then hits you with a $300 bill. It's just bullshit four thousand dollars. Yep

Love you. Dr. D. I'm just doing a thing. I respect the hustle speaking of hustle baby gear Oh, don't get me started off car seat expensive stroller expensive Baby wipes what expensive yeah anything Frida? I don't know if new dads here Frida That's the brand that you get all the little things expensive diapers Expensive baby wipes are expensive everything is pacifiers not that expensive actually pretty cheap

price movements everything I Comes in 8,000 pieces Everything I build has three extra screws Inexplicably I use all the screws why are there so many extra screws everything they say the baby will love she hates and then the crying por tu madre el the crying it's relentless it's personal it also doesn't happen when mommy holds you so sometimes

during these crying fits I find myself daydreaming about lazy NFL Sundays drifting off to sleep to the sound of I am evil and Charles Davis calling a Broncos versus Raiders game at 425 remember Sundays remember sitting on the couch for seven straight hours watching red zone yeah those days they're dead. Now I'm watching a different Red Zone. The one in Elle's diaper. My new life?

Diapers, bottles, burp rags, a rotating lineup of onesies covered in mysterious stains. Blowouts, baby. Every single day, the same schedule. Feed, change, sleep, cry, repeat, the crying, mostly from me. But it's fine, I love it. I'm obsessed with my little mom. It doesn't sound like you. I'm tired. I haven't been to the gym or played basketball in six weeks.

I smell like spit up and desi ding. And yet, I wouldn't trade it for anything. That's not true. I stare at her tiny face like Dan stares at the last croquette on the box. As in the baby. I hold her and suddenly nothing else matters I realize this is what it's all about fatherhood it's exhausting it's beautiful it's a total disaster and sometimes it's hell speaking of hell our priors. Dan, those are the new father observations. Ladies and gentlemen, the new assistant head coach of the University of Miami. Let's talk for $57,000 a year. The Dan Levitard show with Stu gots is sponsored by Better Help. Who's

in your support system? And how have they changed your life? Think about your favorite leaders, mentors, idols, they don't all have the answers, but they do know when to ask for help. In a world that glorifies hyperindependence, we sometimes forget that we thrive with support. We're stronger, healthier, and more resilient when we have people to lean on. Therapy is one of the best ways to build that support system. It helps with positive coping skills, setting boundaries, and becoming the best version of yourself. Here's the thing, therapy isn't just for those who've experienced major trauma. It's

for everybody. Whether you're facing a big life transition, feeling overwhelmed, or just want to grow, therapy can help. That's where BetterHelp comes in. With over 30,000 credential therapists, you can find somebody who truly understands you. It's fully online, making therapy accessible, affordable, and convenient. No waiting rooms, no long commutes, just the support you need, whenever and wherever you need it. And by the way, if you ever feel like switching therapists, it's no cost to you whatsoever. Build your support system with BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com slash D-L-B today

to get 10% off your first month. That's BetterHelp, H-E-L-P dot com slash D-L-B. Howdy folks, it's Mike Ryan. I talk to you about Miller time all the time, but we're in the winter time right now and one of my favorite past times is to crack open a Miller light and enjoy myself some Miller time during the winter time because when there's a brisk chill in the air, it just makes everything right. My friends and I who live down here in South Florida can actually sit outside because it's

not super muggy. We can thoroughly enjoy our Miller Time together. And for you listening, I know there's a lot of things going on right now. Sports cheap among them. Nothing more important than sports. From basketball and hockey to game night, winter means more moments with the coolest people in your life. Make these moments even better with Miller Lite, the great tasting light beer for people

who love beer. Now's the perfect time for friends, family, and a great tasting light beer. Taste like Miller Time. And you know Miller Lite is brewed for taste. It hits different than other light beers, and at just 96 calories and 3.2 grams of carbs per 12 ounces, Miller Time is always a good time. Miller Lite Great Taste 96 Calories. Go to MillerLite.com slash Dan to find delivery options near you, or you can pick up some Miller Lite pretty much anywhere they sell beer.

Tastes like Miller time! Celebrate responsibly! Miller Brewing Company, Milwaukee, Wisconsin. 96 calories and 3.2 carbs per 12 ounces.