The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz - Hour 1: Umbrellas Are For Losers (feat. Pablo Torre)

Episode Date: September 18, 2025

"Thanks for the money, Dan!" Pablo Torre dropped another Pablo this morning and is here -- while paying off his Bucket punishment as a mummy -- to discuss one of the great parables of wealth and why a sob story can coexist with a scam story. He also explains whatever the hell a carbon credit actually is. Meanwhile, while planting his own carbon credit, Billy dismisses The Guatemalan Dream™. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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He dropped another Pablo at 5 o'clock this morning. We'll get some of the details in a moment. One of my favorite moments at ESPN, I'm going to have to make a top five list at some point of my favorite moments at ESPN. But one of my favorites was Pablo Tori dressed as an orca listening to Jesse Ventura as he talked conspiracy theories. And now Pablo has joined us,

which I believe is one of the, the laziest costumes I've ever seen. He's supposed to be a mummy to pay for his punishment of losing last week. And all he's done is wrap himself in toilet paper. I see the mummy. That's the punishment. I like it. I mean, okay.

But he didn't. Another way to wrap yourself up. How, yeah. How else is this supposed to be improved? The whole body. It's supposed to, if you're going to be a mummy, it's supposed to be the whole body. Greater of the mind, Dan. And it's supposed to be, you know, a wrap that's not toilet paper.

It's supposed to be like ace bandages. You got two bucket punishment. today, Dan. Be grateful. When you were a kid and you wrapped yourself like a mummy, we always used toilet paper. Historically so. Thank you, Zaz. So, Pablo. Print media. Print media, Dan. I thought you were a fan of print media.

Pablo. He dropped another Pablo at 5am. He is now at this point harassing the Clippers PR department at 2 o'clock in the morning. They cannot sleep because of what they have to wait for him to drop. So what is... I feel bad. Can I just say? I feel bad for the Clippers'

Leave it there. Yes, go ahead. Yes, go ahead. I feel bad for the Clippers. If I can apologize to the Clippers Communications Department, we send them detailed questions. You can clear your face. We send them detailed questions the night before. They're the first ones to know what we're reporting.

And yeah, it's just not an easy job. I mean that very sincerely, actually. It's just like not an easy job they have. I don't think they have all the information. And they are out here trying to do their best. And it's just, I feel genuinely bad as someone who interacts with PR people. Yo, can you come up with a new strategy for that toilet paper? You keep doing the same thing and it keeps falling right front of your feet.

Now it's too much toilet paper. Not enough toilet paper. Now it's too much toilet paper. Do some indifference. He's right. You keep just like moving it up, it falls down. I got a bunch of questions, okay? Is one of them, is it two ply?

Yeah. This is the, I don't know if there's half ply, but this feels like what that is. Yeah, it's cheap toilet paper on top of that. It's not, that is not. toilet paper that does not look like it would be comfortable to use. There you go. No, we're good now. We're good now. Let's talk about what it is that you reported

this morning, but before we do that, let's check in with Billy Gill, who is presently doing something that Kauai Leonard allegedly reportedly never did. He is planting a tree in order to save the earth. He is using both hands. Can we get a microphone out to him so that Billy

can give us an update? Look, this seems like it's almost complete, Billy. Yeah, roots in the ground. as they say in the planning community. We're pretty good here. I just got to kind of fill this in and then I got to attach the Velcro straps to make sure this thing grows straight.

But this little guy here is going to live a long, healthy life, I think. Hey, Pablo, it's Billy. That's a cool hat. Billy, it's a cool hat. Thank you. It's a Wrangler. Rose's grandfather gave her $100

and she spent it on a cowboy hat and she brought it for me to wear today. It's the American dream, as far as I can tell. Crushing it, Danny. Well, he's, uh, I believe he's from Guatemala, so maybe his American Guatemalan dream. The Guatemalan dream is also worthy of our consideration. And the power ranking of dreams, the Guatemalan dream doesn't get enough credit.

Pablo and I'd like to clear this up. Excuse me, just a moment. I'd like to, for the record, say, I am not saying Guatemalan dreams are lesser than American dreams. Pretty sure. That's what I heard. That's what I heard. How about you zip it up since you just said an idea came from your heart, which is impossible? You don't know what's possible or not possible inside this body. This soda drinker's body.

Pablo, what did you report this morning? I got Roy to be the lawyer in a courtroom reenactment of an exclusively obtained deposition transcripts in which Joe Sandberg, the man who has pled guilty to wire fraud in the aspiration case, the man who has allegedly defrauded Steve Bomber, It was asked questions about Steve Bomber. We had you, Dan, play Joe Sandberg. We had Roy play the lawyer for Joe Sandberg.

And I don't think that's the biggest story in our story. It's just my favorite part that Roy is in the episode. Well, how about the biggest part of the story for people who are not quite interested in Roy's role, acting role in this particular episode? Don't look at me. I crouched it. Yeah, there it is. Steve Bomber invested $118 million in 18 months into aspiration, him alongside the Clippers alongside Team Bomber, let's just call it. Dennis Wong previously established owner, co-owner of the Clippers, Steve Ballmer's college roommate, the CFO of the Clippers.

We have documentation from him in which it is clear that he signed off on the purchase, pre-purchase of $21 million in carbon credits, as Mark Cuban had hypothesized, actually. A lot of this episode is, admittedly, about what Mark Cuban said would have happened if Steve Balmer was absolutely guilty of Capsar Convention. And then I just spent my life proving that actually he did the things that Mark Cuban hypothesized. So, yeah, a lot of carbon credit purchases, two weeks before, in fact, they were due yet another Kauai Leonard payment. So, you know, just a lot of that. Zaz, why are you and Chris Cody laughing right now? I just, I don't know, I'm a little embarrassed right now. Am I the only idiot that doesn't know what a carbon credit is?

You're watching it in the bottom right corner of your screen. Billy is creating a carbon credit. A carbon credit. That's a great question. So it's meaningless. People, well, allegedly. A carbon credit, like everything in the world, I mean, trees, you, me, like we have carbon in us. Our activities emit carbon.

And so what you do is you create something. You plant a tree whose very existence, of course, as a recycler of air, can actually take carbon out, right? That's what trees do. They put out oxygen, they take in carbon. And so a carbon credit is literally the planting of a tree. It would be the very five-second messy summary of a, frankly, now increasingly scrutinized business that was at the core of aspiration in this episode and Steve Balmer's alleged circumvention

of the NBA salary cap. Am I going to have to fire the Reaper for coming in here without a mask? Like, am I going to have to discipline? Peter of the mind, man. That was not on, nothing was on the game. And also, was wearing a mask. I don't think that the reaper was just because you saw the reaper's hair. I saw who the reaper was.

Stop ruining everything. Not everyone was. Maybe it takes some ownership of what you just did. It wasn't on camera. We were trying to move the show along. Pablo, what would you tell people like Zazlo and Billy who are alleging that the league's not going to do anything, that Silver's not going to actually punish the clippers? Yeah.

I'm going to say this in the current. form that I currently exist in, which is probably a miscalculation by me, because I think this question hinges on whether the NBA takes this reporting seriously. And I mean that this is a story that has, frankly, astounded me in terms of just the interest from people. If you were to think about just the stories that I've looked into, I didn't expect this one to be as big. I don't think the NBA did either, frankly.

And so I say all of that to say that the NBA is a wildly reactive organization. Keep in mind the salary caps, CBA circumvention, the rules are not real laws. They are things adjudicated by the commissioner. And so the question the commissioner is going to ask himself is, how small can I make this problem before it becomes a problem for us? And every episode, this is the fourth episode we've done, in an ongoing investigative series, just indicates that the scope of this is genuinely unprecedented in terms of how elaborate it is, in terms of the implications for what people should have known, but did not have act upon allegedly. And so the question of how could the NBA escape this? Frankly, it depends upon how much people care about the story. Because the journalism, I just can't stress this enough, despite what I am currently doing with you at this moment, the journalism could not be

more serious in terms of how real the paperwork is. Documentation is the story of investigative journalism. And we have the documentation. When you don't have the documentation in the absence of, for instance, the note that says, I circumvented the cap, signed Steve with a heart emoji, you've got to go to human sources, primary sources. I've given now an seemingly ongoing parade also of that, people who went on tape, people who are now signed, the CFO of the company, former CFO, the chief legal officer, the CTO, they're now on the record disputing the idea that Andre Churney, the co-founder of Joe Sandberg, of Asperation, what he said, which is that this was not a no-show

deal, that this was something that he doesn't remember the salary cap being involved in. Those three guys have co-signed their reporting. So, you know, I think it's just a matter of, are you a serious person? Are you a serious league? Even though you're being questioned by a person who is wrapped in half-ply toilet paper. I think Adam Silver has given off the impression, which is not, I mean, it's not just an impression. It's a fact that he works for the owners, right?

He works at the pleasure of the owners. And if Mark Cuban is defending Steve Bomber the way he is, even with all the evidence, the reporting in front of him, and he's not even an owner anymore, like what makes you believe that the other active owners don't feel the same way? Well, he's a 27, he corrected me on this when I first interviewed him. He's a 27% owner of the Mavs, SAS. He's a minority owner of the Mavs still. But you're right. The question was last week when Adam Silver goes in front of the Mavs, he's a minority owner of the Mavs still. of the board of governors in New York City at the St. Regis Hotel on Wednesday with Tuesday

committees happening before that, in which Steve Ballmer, by the way, is the chair of the audit committee. The chair of the audit committee of NBA owners is the man under this investigation. And so the question of like, how do the other owners feel? I can tell you, I've spoken to, I can say I've spoken to four who think that it's absurd that this is something that the NBA plans potentially on not punishing proportionate to the evidence and it's about the evidence it's not about me it's about the evidence i have surfaced and dan by the way dan added to the reporting on this in the episode in terms of an owner who said before that meeting and during that meeting steve balmer gave us the sob story and i should be clear the sob story can coexist with the scam

story i keep on saying this two things can be true you can be defrauded by the person you partnered with to deceive the NBA. That's why this is so cinematic. There is pain. There is suffering for Steve Balmer. There's also the most unprecedented scheme, according to my reporting, in the history of salary capture convention.

Pablo, does there have to be punishment laid down on the Clippers and Steve Balmer for all of this to make you feel like your reporting is validated? I don't think it's about, frankly, not to sound like a politician. I think it's about the audience.

It's about the fan base. It's about the presumption that when you watch sports, fair play as codified in the rules they call cardinal rules, that those things are being enforced. Like, Adam Silver, in every statement he's given, and I've listened to all of them, talks about how he is a steward of integrity, not just brand integrity, but competitive integrity. I think the question I would have as somebody who cares about the sport, as a caretaker of the sport, is does this undermine the legitimacy of our game from a purely what does this look

like to everyone who wants to care about it, invest money in it, compete in it, by teams in it. And then Zaz, you get to all the other stuff, right? And the other stuff involves, by the way, yes, the economics of the league. So people may not realize this, but CAPTCHA Convention is really meaningful to these owners I've been speaking to, not simply because it is a rule that they are trying not to break in this way that now, according to my reporting, Steve Ballmer has broken in this fantastical over-the-top way. The thing they care about is also the valuation of teams. So the economics of an NBA team, it's really premised on how much do you spend and therefore how much should this asset be valued. What Steve Ballmer, the richest owner in all

of sports, one of the 10 richest people in the world is proving that he is, he's proving that he's spending so much more. Again, $118 million in 18 months on aspiration with the timeline corroborating the payments of this crazy Kauai Leonard, $48 million. deal, that's where it becomes, wait a minute. So maybe these things aren't exactly the streamlined financial instruments that the NBA would otherwise like them to be. This episode is supported by FX's The Lowdown, starring Ethan Hawke. Allow us to introduce you to Lee Raybon, a quirky journalist slash rare bookstore owner

slash unofficial truth seeker who's always on the tale of his latest conspiracy. This time, his most recent expose puts him, Head to head with a powerful family that rules Tulsa, meaning only one thing. He must be onto something big. FX is the lowdown, premieres September 23rd on FX. Stream on Hulu. When your investors, customers, and workers demand more from your business,

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is now streaming only on Disney Plus. Don Lebertard. Pablo leads all of podcasting in reading while smiling. If you listen to ESPN Daily, he sounds like he's having the time of his life. Stugats. Coming up next, I'm going to tell you the Savannah bananas

are changing faces. How do you know I'm in the bananas? How do you know I'm smiling? That's how I find my voice. local range. Sometimes I just say, Savannah bananas. This is the Dan Levitar show with the Stugats. Billy, you have your hand raised. What would you like to ask Pablo? I have two questions. One, in terms of like the story, where did the, what was the other 70 million for?

So if the, like, it was funneled for Kauai's 48, what was the other 70 for? Yeah, it's a really good question. So the thing that people need to understand as we go through this is that Steve Balmer invests money into aspiration. Aspiration spends all of it virtually immediately. And this is an enormous part of following the money and the sources that I spoke to provided documentation. And as well, by the way, as the documented financial filings, disclosure reforms that all prove that everybody else saw what was happening, seemingly except for Steve Balmer. as in, Aspiration got tons of money, $300 million in the fall of 2021, $50 million from Steve Balmer to Billy's question in the fall of 2021.

What happens after they get that money? They spend all of it before Kawhi Leonard's first payment in June of 2022 is due. And so the cycle here is Steve Balmer puts in money, aspiration asks for more money right when Kawhi Leonard must be paid. And so when I speak to the alleged defrauding of Steve Bomber, this is how it can coexist. is that he was kind of trapped according to the sequence of events and according to what the timeline might suggest

in this relationship in which he knew he had to support a company that was guarding the most embarrassing secret that he had. And so they had leverage, according to the reporting, over him in that regard, although, of course, the degree to which he knew and when he knew remains, frankly, a crucially important topic for my investigation and the governments. Billy, hand-raised, second question?

Yeah, can you explain carbon credits to me? And are they similar to NFTs or crypto? Like, how does this work? Already asked that question. Yeah. Yeah. You just made a carbon credit, Billy. You just made it.

Yeah, but what is it worth? Well, it's worth. So typically, right, what you just did, people in the open market of carbon credits, they pay five to 10 cents for that, what you just did. um aspiration three hours i know aspiration was charging a dollar like that's the margin of like the carbon credits business but your point by the way like what the cfTC is looking into the federal agency that regular they regulate commodities is whether a carbon credit is actually just a commodity not unlike a stock to your question is like what is this an nfti is it is it a financial instrument

this is an active debating government like should we should we regulate these things like they our stocks because what they really are, according to all of the reporting I've done, they're a lot like widgets, right? They don't actually exist. It's the action of you planting that tree is real. Well, no, this tree exists. I can confirm that. That's a lot more than how do I make money off of this is what I'm asking you like. Cryptos are like a hundred thousand. How much is this carbon credit going to get me? Seems like we're not paying very well. Metal arc media. If he's been working for three hours and we're going to him 10 cents. That seems

below minimum wage here. I've got a bunch of questions. Like our internship. And we don't have a lot of time left. So I would be flabbergasted and stunned given the evidence that Pablo is providing if the penalty wasn't hugely stiff because

you saw what happened with the flate gate. It's not as egregious as this. Whatever the hell it was isn't as egregious as this. Like the idea that you would have these rules and circumvent them this flagrantly, Zanzlo, like this flagrantly.

I just don't see a circumstance under which the penalty isn't enormous. I'm totally with everything that Pablo is saying that you just said as well, I just don't have any faith in Adam Silver laying down the hammer. I mean, Pablo, he got up in front of everybody the other day and said he's never heard of aspiration.

That wasn't taken out of context. Came right out of his mouth. And then a couple of days ago, he tells everybody, oh, no, I meant I never heard of this scandal. It was bullshit. Look, the thing that we have in the episode as well is, is that to Zaz's point. So Adam Silver, without any ambiguity, says, frankly, I've never heard of aspiration in any way. There's really no wiggle room around like the clarity of what he says.

He says he's never seen anything related to an engagement with the Clippers. He says that as well, or Kauai Leonard. And then I get the contract, the actual contract for the 300. million dollar founding sponsorship deal that the clipper signed with aspiration and it says right there in the writing of it that these deals must be expressly approved and submitted to the NBA and so in front of a stage earlier this week dan roberts the front office sports asks adam silver about this thing i had just tweeted out and then you get this statement which if you go and watch the video it does not i think fit into a plausible interpretation of what he had said before

So the question then is, why did Adam Silver say the first thing when he said it? Why wasn't he actually aligned with what he says the second time? These are important questions speaking to the credibility of how a league is governed, let alone the fact, by the way, that this whole company was seemingly vetted by apparently no one, including, and I want to make this point again, and it's a serious one to some extent. The reason why fraudsters keep on using sports is because they expect that if you're up in the signage of an arena, if you're a founding sponsor, if you have the naming rights deal of a building, it means that sports, which is so flush with cash and lawyers and respectability, it must be true that sports has vetted you, and therefore you can trust them. We see this over and over and over again. You saw it with FTX in Miami.

We see it now again with aspiration. you saw it with Enron in Houston. It happens for a reason. And the question that the leagues now have to be asking themselves is when do we actually fulfill the terms, the implicit terms of this trust that America has given us? Because right now it's a one-way transaction and a lot of people are getting scammed. A lot of people are searching for what Pablo has on this story. I would also say to everybody listening to this,

if you want to check out what Pablo has done with Semaphore or Ethan Strauss, you could get more explanations for what Pablo is trying to do in general with Pablo Tori finds out, selling old media basically to the internet and young people on the internet. One of the funny things about this story is the idea of people who can buy everything but can't get what it is that they want. The idea that Steve Balmer couldn't get Kawhi Leonard to do the things that he needed Kawhi Leonard to do, can you explain to me how much money Balmer has more than the other owners, Pablo? He could buy out everyone else. He's the richest owner in all of sports, and it's not close.

He has $150 billion. He is the boogeyman when it comes to any contest in which money is the weapon. And what Steve Balmer has done is, I think, live out this, frankly, this parable about sports in which sports has more than ever the richest people in the world interested. For reasons, by the way, that I just. alluded to, but also because of sincere fandom. Steve Balmer is a hardcore basketball fan. I interviewed him once when I was doing a story about Harvard basketball, and he told me about, and this was, of course, many moons ago now, he told me about how he was a scorekeeper, charting assists and

rebounds. Like, that's the kind of hardcore basketball sicko he is. He's cared about youth teams. He's coached youth basketball. And so the question is, when you have everything, you have all of the money in the world, but the thing you want the most is something that because sports is governed by fair play and rules. You cannot simply buy, right? It's one of the few places left in civilization where you can't just buy the thing you want. You have to earn it. You've got to win it in a fair competition. The only thing resembling meritocracy we have left, frankly. Steve Ballmer cannot do that because in the NBA, there's a bleeping salary cap. And even when you circumvent the salary cap, you might end up with the one superstar who looks like Michael Jordan when he's

healthy, but every other time you play with them or try to get him to play, he's a guy who seems to be rebelling against your mission specifically. It is maddening. It is infuriating, and it's also why this story is to me, like one of the great parables of wealth in America through the lens of sports. Thank you, Pablo, for your reporting and your work. It is tireless. It is exhaustive. Pablo Tore finds out is where you go. You mentioned Pablo that, you know, the words infuriated and everything else, and I'm looking at the Reaper again. And the Reaper looks pissed off with everyone here for keeping him waiting. So thank you, Pablo.

We will talk to you later. Appreciate the reporting. Billy also seems to be done there. The white chocolate macadamia cream cold brew from Starbucks is made just the way you like it. Handcrafted cold foam topped with toasted cookie crumble. It's a sweet summer twist on iced coffee. Your cold brew is ready at Starbucks. Backs.

Don Lebertard. Football. Football. Football. Football. Football. Football. Football.

Football. Football. Stugats. Football. Football. Football. Football. This is the Dan Lebatar show with the Stugats.

Is the Reaper indeed ready? Is the Reaper ready to go? Reaper seems very annoyed with us. The Reaper is, the Reaper is annoyed, and I think he's annoyed because of how shitty Pablo's costume is. Oh, come on. Can I, it's the title. Blame the Tennessee Titans.

Pablo, you did great. Thank you, Pablo. Appreciate it. Thanks for the money, Dan. You should be thanking everyone here, including Billy, who's working for 10 cents for three hours because it's everybody's money that you're spending. The Dentech bucket.

Oh, Dan, oh. We're ready to go. Put your mouthpieces in. The bucket is presented by Dentech's ultimate fantasy football punishment. Learn more and sign up your league at Dentech.com. Finally, punishment's being paid around here. I got the Baltimore Ravens. Monday Night Football against the Detroit Lions.

Oh, I'm sorry. So, four and a half point favorite. No, I'm putting it back. What? I am scared of it. I think the lions are too good. Four and a half point favorite, you may not do better than one. What are you doing?

I got the Rams. You do you. Congratulations. You've smoked them for plus three and a half at Eagles. That's fine. Going to the Eagles. Daly hurts stinks. You lost eight points in that transaction. Was a mistake.

Mike Ryan, what do you like that? I lost last week. I got to pay something on next week. L.A. Chargers. We've got the Broncos. Three and a half point favorite. I'm going to keep it. He's keeping it.

You're not going to do a lot better than a three or four point favor. Maybe you can. get Buffalo tonight, but there aren't. The biggest spread other than Buffalo with 7.5 Green Bay at Cleveland. And also Seattle at home against New Orleans. Carolina.

Oh, I'm sorry, Roy. Not happening. Carolina's at home, five and a half point dog against Atlanta. Oh, shit. I got a deaf and a fine bucket. All right, that's great, but nobody's been paying fun. No, that's, there's no money.

So just death for you. All right, good job. I hate this game. We'll get you some money. Who's at the bucket, but you get $0.00. You can have Billy's 10 cents. I got the Bengals. Now, you got Jake Browning against who's the backup in Minnesota?

At Minnesota. Tyrod Taylor. Carson Wentz. Carson Wentz. What are you doing with Tyrod Taylor? I'm going to put that back. Three and a half point dog. A good guess, though, Zazz.

I don't know how I feel about that game. You just always guess that Tyrod Taylor is the backup. There. At Washington, plus three and a half. I have the Raiders. You put back a three and a half to get a three and a. All right, Zaslo. Or Dan, who's going here?

There's a chance of Jane Daniels is held out of that again. Marcus Marriota. I got the Jaguard. The Jags, don't touch them at all. They're at home. Two and a half point favorite against Houston. No, I got where I bet. Born to Houston, that's for a team.

But that offense has been not fun to watch over the last two seasons. You're tired of hearing me say pressure out the middle. I'm very tired. He's been bad as long as he's been good. I got the bang lost. The bang goes. Three an hour point dog. But you go up against Carson once.

No, no, man. Minnesota. Ooh, the Jets. I'm going to go ahead and put that back right there. Plus six and a half at Tampa. That's one of the throwbacks this week. Beautiful cremicle throwbacks. And Dan is stuck with, oh, God.

The biggest underdog. All right. Dan, you like dressing up, though. You're good. Who was that? Saints. The Saints. Just straight garbage.

The Saints. Is Billy going to the bucket? You're picking for Billy? Billy, are you going to the bucket? Wait, why am I asking him? Let me pick for Billy. I am not. You're on the show today.

That means he go to the bucket. Yeah, Pablo Tee. No, we got to pick for Pumbo. No. I'm going to pick for Pablo too. This is Pablo or Billy. This is for Billy. The commanders, the commies.

That's a good one. You want to keep the commies? The mine is three and a half at home against the Raiders. He said no. The bylaws. No. Are you, I'm going to pick for you if you don't make a pick. I don't care.

You can keep the bylaws state that you need to be in the studio. He doesn't know. That's not true. He's got the cowboys. That's official. The cowboys are one and a half point. If we're not going to start following the rules, then he's got the cowboys. The bylaws state that you're supposed to be in the studio.

Bring him down. He's got the cowboys. All right. Pablo's got, thank you for your service, Army Navy Air Force. Navy's on a bar. There's on a bar. There you go. Congratulations.

to Pablo. He has an extra week to prepare for Venezuela. He gets rewarded. Billy, so close us out there from the undisclosed location. Give us all of the reports we need. Give us that is a tree that you are now proud of. That is a tree. It looks like it is properly planted.

It is straight. Was it hard to get it straight? Well, I used this steak thing that then I velcroed the tree to with plant velcro. So hopefully this thing grows and we have some guava soon. Back to you, Dan. How are you feeling in general about everything that you did out there? 10 cents of saving the earth? Yeah, I mean, I created some carbon credits, so good for us.

This is our third tree that we planted, and we're doing it, one tree at a time. All right, petering out, he's tired from all of the manual labor. I'm wet, it's annoying. It's unpleasant, yes. Honestly, this work was worth three cents, and screw the environment. This is why I didn't want to do it. Who cares? Exactly right. What a waste of everybody's time planting trees.

Who cares? All right, good work. Way to save the earth. Can we get a shot of Danny one more time? No, all right. No, that's enough of that. He is all wet. It's unpleasant to be wet.

And in general, the socks is the... I just got warm socks. It's delightful. Sox or underwear. Put it on the pole at Lebitard Show. Wet socks are the worst. What's the worst? Sox or wet socks or wet underwear at Lebitard Show?

Because those are your two. choices. Brother, if you're underwear, wet. Really? Really? Okay. Okay. That's true.

Tony. I don't know. That's sensual Chris Berman. Is that who that was? Okay. Thank you. Thank you, Danny. Why were your socks wet, Chris Cody?

Because it was pouring when I walked in this morning. And my whole, I did the thing. I didn't have a, I don't have an umbrella in my car. What am I doing with my life? No. No umbrella in my car. Damed near 40. No umbrella.

Like 40 years without an umbrella, got to keep marching on. Embarrassing thing to do in public? I had a sweater in my back. backpack that was not like water resistant. It was just like a cloth. I couldn't tell you the last time I was outside, it was raining and I said, where's my umbrella? I can't do that. Can you imagine? But when it's poor, picture me. Opening an umbrella and walking with it. Picture me running across the street. I'm running across the street with a, a wool sweater over me. So what? My shoes were wet. My socks were wet. I've never, I've never owned an umbrella in South Florida. I just haven't. Good, good on you. I have it. Good on you. Good on.

on you. Proud of you, people. Proud of you. You're walking around outside with an umbrella like a Merry Poppins? You have a boring rain. You have an umbrella out of your house. I'm going to text your wife. That may be for other people.

She might have one. Yeah. I got news for you. I've never owned an umbrella. I've never gone in my car and got an umbrella. I've never. I've never purchased an umbrella. What are you, the penguin?

It's like asking me if I've ever purchased a parasol. You know what I'll do? I'll literally put my head down and just keep marching on. Yeah. Like any red-blooded American man should. Gallow West, so what? Mm-hmm. I have a computer with me.

I don't want it to get wet, right? Look at these people with their umbrellas. Look at that loser. Look at that loser. Dork. I'm not going to judge others for having it. Oh, I will. I didn't know what Mike was talking about, but now I see that guy.

It looks like a loser. Ridiculous. I wouldn't go that far. No, I would. That's not far enough. Really? Not far enough. You want to call somebody who's walking?

Who wants to stay dry and opens up an umbrella? No. Look at these people, protecting their equipment. Can you imagine? I need to stop what we're doing here and celebrate that Billy did indeed pay a punishment. It has been a long time since Billy paid a punishment. And I wish for the audience to see the last time that Billy paid a punishment because I think that this is one of the funniest things. to ever happen on the show. We are talking to the actor Rob Delaney. Rob Delaney is at the time

promoting a book in which he is talking about the most serious of subject matter, the passing of his son. And it's just, you're saying to yourself, how can that possibly be funny? Well, watch and listen. I don't know what your pain is exactly, right? I can't possibly know, even though you've written a book but I feel like I lost the son because I raised him yeah yeah yeah it's it's brutal and I'm glad that you are talking about it I'm so incredibly sorry I'm glad that you're crying and that people can hear that because the pain there's an old-timey baseball player here Rob Like, yes, thank you.

Like, I can't cry in front of these people. Do you know how weak it is? Do you know? I'm a blubbering idiot, Rob. I need this to be funny. Like, look, there's an old, there's an old-timey baseball player. Rob. I know you feel weak, but at least you weren't holding an umbrella.

When it came off a way worse. Man. One of our best cuts ever to Billy there. If you are just listening and not watching, you don't know how funny it is that in the middle of that, the camera panned a Billy, who was dressed like a 1919 baseball player wearing a ridiculously white fake mustache and staring down the camera. But that's funny for a number of reasons. The size of the hat is what's helping here so much because we simply haven't worn hair. That's that way in a hundred years. In a hundred years.

And so finally, some punishments got paid off around here. It's a time of great celebration. We finally, and now Pablo, you got to admit, though, Pablo's mummy costume, he just went and got a roll of toilet paper. Like, we can't make that that easy. That's what that is. In fact, that's what it was the last time we did one of those. How else should you mummify?

You want ace bandages? What do you want? You want them to go to Stan Winston? I want full body. Look, we have to respect the costumes. Like, we have to respect that these are punishments. Don't you, like, for like 20 straight Halloween's, didn't you just put on a clown wig? You will not question my costume integrity in public or private. Show us how it's done. I have shown you how it's done.

We'll see you as a mummy tomorrow then? It was a Rasa wig, which honestly doesn't scream ally anymore. How about this? How about this? I got one. If the dolphins win tonight, we all show up as mummies. Whatever. Man, you've got to scrub those pictures from the internet, man. That's not a good look. Although I guess it's fine now. It is.

Comedy is legal again. That's a bet. If the Dolphins win tonight, we all have to do the show tomorrow as mummies. It's a bet. Oh, come on, man. It's not a real thing. Who cares? Who cares?

I don't want to do that. I had the opportunity to pick that. I'm like, no, this is hard. This is a punishment. I don't want to do that. Instead, I'm going thrifting. Speaking of punishments, are you guys with Zaslow and Billy on the NBA's not going to do anything here because that it I just have not seen

reporting like this done around a scandal because of how hard it is to get close to the rich people when they're trying to protect themselves from you seeing anything like they're they're very good at it they have systems in place to make sure that they're very good at it and the stories of the powerful people are falling apart in a way that Pablo's disentangling is that is very embarrassing. I am speaking only for myself here as someone that is watching this reporting come in in real time, and I have not seen the NBA's investigation, which is still ongoing. I know what the Clippers have said earlier, but if I'm just Joe sports fan, I have enough now to assume that anything that would explain the behavior would feel like a cover-up to me.

Because this is as dead to rights, a salary cap circumnavigation that it ever has appeared in our sports landscape. Certainly the media providing it for you as opposed to a league investigation. The Patriots Deflategate investigation. Ted Wells was paid $5 million for that. The state of the media right now, people can't afford to do that anymore. To spend that kind of money to do something like. this and Pablo's crew has done it cheap, but it is really exhaustive to spend seven months doing anything and the media is crippled in a way that makes it damn near impossible to even

try something like this. Never mind, succeed and execute. This is the transparency that sports fans have always wanted with these investigations where you just have to take a league's word for it, where the league with the Ted Wells investigation certainly had stuff to maintain, their financial interests were certainly tied with the New England Patriots dynasty. Folks, listen up, the NFL is rolling, and every touchdown brings you closer to a payout with Draft King's Sportsbook, an official sports betting partner of the NFL. New customers, this is for you. Download the Draft King Sportsbook app. Use code Dan. That's code Dan to get $200 in bonus bets instantly when you place your first $5 bet, plus $200 off NFL Sunday ticket from YouTube and YouTube TV

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