The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz - Hour 1: White House Arrest

Episode Date: April 15, 2024

Stugotz kicks things off with this week's Weekend Observations! Then, Dalano Banton had one of the more impressive stats of the final day of the season, the upcoming Stuart Scott documentary and the Apple TV Patriots doc, and a new heist show with Pierce Brosnan. Plus, Elie Mystal joins the show to update us on all the latest on the Donald Trump Trial before Billy pitches a new sitcom. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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It is time for StuGuts to share his game notes. No one in the media will tell you what happened better than my boy Stu. Weekend observations brought to you by Miller Lite. Great taste, just 96 calories available for delivery. Din! 96 calories available for delivery Dan We haven't seen him play since 2022 I for one and not concerned. They'll be 47 when the next NFL season starts again

Not concerned many thought he'd never play again even though me and Billy told you he would most definitely play again well Dan over the weekend guess what he left the door open he said he's open for business and that he's still in NFL shape. And Dan, just like that, make no mistake about it, Tom Brady is back. Exciting. It really is interesting to watch how he and Peyton Manning

are gonna compete for dollars the next 10 years. Peyton Manning just signed a 10 year deal with ESPN. Yeah, yeah. And Tom Brady's saying, yeah, but I don't have to do 10 years. I'll do a season of games, 17 games. And play in a few. Maybe, maybe play in a few.

He actually said, if the call comes, it depends on who calls. He'll go out there and be a mercenary. I love that the Patriots are an option now. It would be great. They're not an option. No, they're an option. Yeah, they're definitely an option. Belichick's no longer there. We were running a scenario, Stu, last week when we heard the news

where Tom was getting out ahead and he was calling every team that Belichick was gonna interview for and be like, by the way, if there's an opportunity in the season, I might be interested. Bill can't be there though. But not if he's our coach. Exactly right.

It's a reason to not hire him. May explain some things. So you got spent the weekend with Belichick. Well, I did spend the weekend with Belichick. Belichick delivered the pregame speech to the Northwestern Women's lacrosse team. He spent the weekend with you. You came in here and you said.

He was the third best coach on the field that day. I was watching him. He was sitting under a tree on the phone. And he was. And you said he was the third best coach. That you were second. Yes. Who was Northwestern playing against? I didn't give an order. Were they fourth? You were first. You were best coach, that you were second. Yes, oh. Who was Northwestern playing against?

I didn't give an order. Were they fourth? You were first, I assumed you were second. Kelly Amante, Hiller, one or two, depending on the day. What? Close second, me, she's one. Belichick, third, Ohio State coach, fourth. I will say this, you assured us that if Belichick was there,

he was gonna be a guest on God Bless Football this week, so did that happen, or? Well, he was on the phone under a tree. I'm working on it. Tiger. Shooting a career worst in a major tournament. Tiger. I told you not having sex wouldn't help.

Should've just had the sex, right? He finished in last place. He might have not made the cut though. Well, he made the cut. I'm saying if he would have had sex, maybe he wouldn't have made the cut. Dan does his thing with last place and technically he made the cut though. Jordan Spieth would have loved to be there over the weekend. Okay, but when they tallied up all the names at the end of the tournament, his was the last one on the leaderboard. A lot of people like Levitard laughing at Tiger Woods for his performance at Augusta. Luckily for Tiger,

he can go home and laugh about it in one of his five green jackets. You of course know what that means, right Dan? It means Tiger always has the last laugh. Laugh all you want. Go ahead. Chuckle Fest. Ha ha ha. Last place. Can't walk.

He's getting old. You know what he does? He puts on a green jacket and he laughs at you. Huh? I wasn't laughing at him. I was just pointing out that he finished in last place. The red with his new logo did not look right. It's hard to wear red when you're plus 14. I know, in the last place. The red with his new logo did not look right. It's hard to wear red when you're plus 14.

I know, but the new Tiger logo instead of the Nike swoosh. You're laughing at him. I didn't laugh at him. Last laugh, Tiger though. You're laughing at him. I just heard you laugh at him. Tiger's laugh is after his laugh, Dan. It's always laughing.

He hated playing with that guy on Sunday, right? Oh, good story. Never thought I'd live long enough to see Nick fans arguing on the last day of the season about whether or not they should get the two seat. What a time! They should have lost that game. They really should have lost that game. Insane to go win that in overtime playing DiVincenzo 50 plus minutes. He's good. Yeah. Nobody loves a regular season like Tom Thibodeau. The Italian kid from Ohio. Is Magic Cavs gonna be played on like free TV or something like... NBA Free V2.

The rare moving day where just about everyone stayed put. where just about everyone stayed put. The only guy that moved was Colin Morikawa. Know what the M in Morikawa stands for Dan? I do not. Moving. That was right there. That would make sense. Yeah. It was right there for me. Got an update on Andrew McCutcheon. Still playing. He's a pirate. 300 homers. Cutch. Hall of Famer? Hmm. He made the pirates relevant in this era. Do they call him Cutch? Yes, they do. The pirates aren't relevant in this era though. But if you were to name a pirate, he would be the one.

That's true, for the last like 20 years. Even when he wasn't a pirate for a few years. Do they call him Kutch though? They do, yes. Of course. Everyone knows that. The Sunday night after the Masters ends makes me sad. Top five saddest Sundays of the year. Number five, the last Sunday of summer break.

Number five, the last Sunday of summer break. Number four, master Sunday. Number three, the last Sunday after the Christmas New Year's holidays. Number two, Super Bowl Sunday. And number one for my poor wife Abby, every Sunday. So you're just doing Sunday night though, right? Because the Super Bowl, the day of the Super Bowl, you're fine. It's just you feel sloppy. I get sad.

No, the whole week I'm sad because conference championship games have done. You have one lonely football game left. You're sad all of Radio Row week? Yeah, the whole week. You wake up on Master Sunday just sad? Yes. Because I'm not going to see the thing I love so much for another year.

Makes me sad. Don't smile because it's going to be over soon. Smile because it's not happened yet. That's how you say it. I think that's the same. That is exactly the same. We don't know the rest of it. Just continue.

Baseball and your unwritten rules. Get over yourselves. Top prospect, Jackson Holliday, is one for 15 to start his career. Hey Jackson, do it in the majors. If you like a heart attack with your save, Craig Kimbrough is your guy. It's never easy. Also a tough name. Golden State Warriors, the rare winner blow up the team game.

Lolo line. Boston, New York, Cleveland, Orlando, Indiana, Philadelphia, Oklahoma City, Minnesota, LA Clippers, Dallas, Phoenix, all of you. Do it in the postseason. Wow. Dan, we were so close. I believe the closest we've ever been to a Masters Champions dinner menu

that included gefilte fish. Is it gefilte? I thought it was gefilte. I thought I don't know how to pronounce it. Tomato, tomato. It doesn't matter. It's always funny. Okay. It is a funny phrase. Agreed. Observations we were so close to having if Max Homo won the Masters. Dan, you know what the B in Butler Cabin stands for? I do not. It stands for brisket. Dan, you know what the M in master stands for? Meshugana. Man, Max. Thought you were gonna go for a matzo ball soup.

The start of 60 minutes. The rare jump scene that you know is coming and still gets you every single time. It was jump scare, not seen. The joke doesn't work if you don't say it correctly. No, I get it. Thank you, Izzy. Appreciate it. The Atlantic having an article titled

Democracy Dies Behind a Paywall. Behind a Paywall. The Atlantic, the Stugats is so very strong in you. Cavs. Magic. First round matchup. If this series was a movie, it would go straight to DVD. They say the Masters doesn't start until the back nine on Sunday. Scotty Scheffler didn't get that message. Seth Davis tweeting that he and Mark Pope can go line for line at reciting Hamilton lyrics is the last thing I'd want to see if I'm a Kentucky fan. I want my coach to be too busy that he's never seen Hamilton. Seriously, what is he doing? You think Calipari is in it?

The only Hamilton I want is Leonard. Eight golfers shot under par over the weekend. Do you know who wins the Masters every year, Dan? Augusta. I didn't give you a chance there. The only thing crazier than Scotty Scheffler winning two Masters before turning 28 is the fact that Scotty Scheffler is only 27 He doesn't he does look 48 he does look older the Dodgers fan

That threw back a fake home run ball While keeping the real home run ball had he play man and Then doing interviews afterward Hey nominee, I would have been fine with them just turning down the broadcast and just interviewing him for the rest of the game Hey nominee for the least surprising headline of the year. An agency led by Bad Bunny is facing sanctions. Whoa.

What happened? Why do you think Bad Bunny? What did Bad Bunny ever do to you? Why did Bad Bunny do to deserve sanctions? It wasn't surprising. What's the deal with that? It's not good bunny, it's Bad bunny. Yeah, okay. I'm a little bad bunny, okay John Rom

Looks like he's having difficulty living inside his own skin He does John live wasn't made for you It was made for guys who don't give a shit guys Guys who are past their primes. Guys that have gambling debts. Or if you're Phil Mickelson, all of the above. Lefty. Death. Taxes. And Tommy Fleetwood. Incontention Sunday at Augusta. The things you do driving around the Midwest on a gummy in the

passenger seat. Top five athletes. That Kenoda Rock Band. OLI. John Jett. ML Corp. Razor Ramon. I'm sorry, so what are those? What's happening? That Kenoda Rock Band, Tommy Fleetwood.

Okay, but what are the, Joan Jett or Benny and the Jets? Joan Jets, what do you mean? Benny and the Jets a song! John Jett sounds like Joan Jett. She's a rocker. Yes, Tommy Fleetwood, Fleetwood Max. Okay, sorry. Number five, Kareem Rush.

Number four, Max Crosby, Kenny Stills, Steve Nash, and Vince Young. Wow, okay, all of them. All right, nicely done. Thank you, everyone. Now we got an ovation back here. That's pretty good. Number three, Marty Fish. Number two, David Boston. Number one, Johan Santana.

Santana band. Absolutely, Dan, absolutely, Dan, come on. I think of Santana as an individual artist. Carlos Santana, the individual, Santana the band built around him. So absurd. I think of Santana as an individual, not as a band. What do you want me to tell you?

I don't know. Santana, Carlos Santana is in the Hall of Fame, isn't he? The whole band is in the Hall of Fame. Carlos Santana, the first baseman. You think Johan did enough, huh? Hmm. Heat Sixers, the rare lose, or go to the Mecca game John Rom you took six

hundred million dollars smeared in blood do me a favor spare me your outrage about the playing conditions at Augusta hey John know what six million dollars buys you mean never caring about anything you ever have to say again. Burn Lungquist, it's been an honor listening to you, sir. Tip of the cap. Wow. A sir, an honor and a tip of the cap. The holy trinity for a guy who looks like a soap bubble.

Is Santana doing? Dan, come on. That's a looks like tournament. No. Is Santeria a bear? What are you doing, Dan? What's going on? That's a looks like tournament. No, that's a seed he got in our tournament one time. Vern Lundquist looks like a soap bubble. This is why Billy canceled looks like, because you're a little offensive. Body shaming.

Looks like a soap bubble. I don't know, what do you want me to tell you? Bo Ban's listening. Bo-Ban or Bo-Yan? Benches cleared in Dodgers Padres. Why do the benches clear in baseball? Like do you think the guys in the bullpen jog in thinking, what the hell are we doing here?

Honestly, it's a waste of a jog. No one's going to fight. Speaking of hell or brials, Dan, those are the weekend observation. Are you tired of snooty wines and their old world wine culture confused by words like malolactic fermentation? Yeah, we are too. So with 19 crimes, you can do the fancy schmancy tilt, sip, smell. Ooh, I think it tastes like old red cherry cherry a little bit of wood and mahogany little leather You can do all that stuff or don't

19 crimes is the rebel of wine culture telling stories of rogues and rule breakers who overcame adversities from convicts banished to Australia To the legendary icon Snoop Dogg himself 19 crimes wine is defined by nature bold in character and always uncompromising 19 Crimes Wine is defiant by nature, bold in character, and always uncompromising. 19 Crimes, the official wine of the UFC, pick up in stores nationwide or online at 19crimes.com. Enjoy Responsibly Copyright 2024, Sonoma, California. Don LeBretard! God doesn't even know what this list is. But he was the head of Tom Brady, who also won a playoff game. A couple, yeah.

That was literally the most confusing list we've ever done. But Chibos got a better shot at coming back. I'm mad. Give him a chance. I'm mad. I'm angry at you. I wanna leave. Stugats.

This would have been your day. This should be. You should own the sports media landscape right now. I am. Top seven guys. I would not want the Jets. No. No.

Oh, f*** you. No. No, I'm not allowing it. Zach Wilson, no. No, no, no. No, I'm not giving him a chance. I'm giving him 20 years. It's a car. What? I've given him my prize.

This is the Don LeBattar Show with the StuGuts. This show has enjoyed over the last year making fun of Joe Cronin and the Portland Trailblazers. Basically this entire Trailblazers season has existed for us in Miami only as a thing to pay attention to, to mock and yesterday a Portland Trailblazer named Delano Banton not only Stugat went 0 for 15 from 3 right which is damn hard to do but then I would guess without knowing any other details other than he was ejected for a flagrant 2, I'm gonna go ahead and say frustration foul. I didn't even, I don't, I didn't watch anything. They were down by 30, I see him leaving the arena, I'm like how does he feel about himself?

Walking back to the locker room, flagrant two, I'm ejected, does he know he's gone 0 for 15? Surely he knows he hasn't made a three, surely he knows he's having a bad day, but does he know he's gone 0 for 15? Surely he knows he hasn't made a 3. Surely he knows he's having a bad day. But does he know he's missed 15 of them? And then that's never happened before. I'm not certain if he knows the exact number, but he knows he missed a lot.

Like, he definitely knows that. Shooters always know they're going to make the next one. So you don't count the ones behind you, you count the ones in front of you. Is he a shooter? 31% from 3? Well, you know how to. Shooter's mentality, at least. He was 2 for 10 from three the night before No, he was he's four for his last 34 or something from three, but Tony's right Tim Hardaway I asked him one time and what were you thinking when you were over 17 that I was about to be one for 18?

Like that's what I was shooting mentality. You're always gonna make the next one dan That's the thing that's the allure of the shooter is like this next one. I you know what it is. I fixed my form Maybe it's I was my elbows a little too out. Maybe my legs weren't weren't you know facing the rim Can you have a shooter's mentality in the NBA if your name is Delano Banton? He was 6 of 11 from 2 I mean best part is that he's one of the bright spots of the blazer season Is he named after FDR? Well, this is D-A-L-N-A-N-O. Wow, that was Chris LeBouche.

You didn't spell that right. D-A-L-A-N-O. Do your Boban bit again. Boban, Boyan, Bogdan, you know? That was really funny, right? Stugats, do you think ESPN is about to do a 30 for 30 on Stuart Scott? And I mentioned earlier, I am super interested to see

what the deal is that Peyton Manning has with Omaha Productions and ESPN, because it was reported that Peyton Manning and Eli are just doing the Manning cast, but they signed a content deal. They're gonna be making stuff for ESPN ESPN is gonna start outsourcing some stuff and using people who don't necessarily work inside the company to make things for them but they're making

a 30 for 30 on Stuart Scott and I'm genuinely curious whether they're going to tackle how hard people in that building made it on Stuart Scott. Like I'm genuinely curious whether they're just gonna turn it into a celebration of Stuart Scott or whether they're going to examine because Stuart Scott and the people who care about Stuart Scott will tell you that there were a whole lot of people playing defense against his general style when it came on that made that not popular but deeply unpleasant. You're talking about pre-social media and all this stuff that you now see that is out in the open that can't be missed in terms of racial divisions.

He was coming to the church of sports and he was doing it in a way that was black. And we weren't used to consuming it that way and he was treated, anyone who went through that time with Stuart Scott will tell you that he was an amazing pioneer, at least in part because of how hard he had it inside of that building from people who were supposed to be supporters. Can I take a cannonball on this? I still work for ESPN. Oh, I'm just curious, like I-

I'm trying to get back there. Can you even tell that story correctly? Can you tell that story correctly? If he is that's true. Ranking quarterbacks baby. His greatest bummer of everything of the last four years is that he's not on the lacrosse games for ESPN anymore. Doing lacrosse on ESPN 3. No, but I'm genuinely curious whether or not you can tell the story without that part.

Like, it can be an homage and also celebrate him all the more because he had to overcome a time. I'd be very surprised if it's anything but a celebration of Stuart Scott's career. I'd be very surprised It's airing on ESPN ESPN is involved in the production of this movie I'd be surprised if ESPN is going to bring that onto themselves because he had his own Autobiography that came out before he passed away that delved into a little bit of this stuff

I would think because it's already out there and it wouldn't be something that's being discovered for the first time, maybe they'd be willing to delve into it a little bit, but like you guys said, I would imagine this is mostly just a celebration of the innovation that he had as a SportsCenter anchor. You guys have heard me talk before, we're in the documentary business, we will be having between 10 and 20 documentaries coming out in the next couple of years. And one of the lanes that we have that I think

is getting harder and harder to occupy is that we don't have to worry about corporate dilutions because of who we're teaming up with so that we can tell the most honest version of a story. I saw here recently, Sturgatsen, I was surprised by this and I don't know what's happening here. I don't think that Apple has had the impact that some of the other streamers have had outside of Ted Lasso.

So they did an exceptional documentary on the Patriots dynasty. It's ten parts. There is no disputing that there was stuff in there that most people have not heard, and there is no disputing that generally we're interested in conquering dynasties. You put Tom Brady in it, you put Bill Belichick in it, you put Friction in it. At the end of it, you make it seem a bit like a character assassination of Belichick where he gets hit especially hard in a way that makes you think Bob Kraft is the one editing that thing but it seems to have had no resonance. It's a ten-part series over years done for years over the team that

has dominated America's most popular sport and is part of the reason that it is America's most popular sport because when it started as a dynasty it was not yet America's most popular sport. The fact that that was covered, covered that well on Apple and our viewing habits are so fractured, it doesn't seem like it made much of an impact except in New England where they were reporting some of the details that made it feel like the end of that documentary was a hatchet job

that just put everything on the desk of Belichick. The most damning part to me was the Malcolm Butler discussion, right? And the implication that he did that for a personal reason and then just left it there for, I guess, other people to figure out after the doc, and that would have been ridiculously damning for Bill Belichick, and that to me was the one spot

where I said there's no way he was in agreement, like he was probably forced to sit in that seat because this makes him look terrible, but I haven't seen a follow-up to that. But I'm interested in where Dan is headed with this conversation from the standpoint, that's normally something I would seek out. I would wanna watch and for whatever reason,

I did it on this one. Well, do you have Apple? I do have Apple, I don't have access Apple though, I mean, but I guess. Okay, the thing that's happening here, Netflix. I like the better one, just boom, it was on ESPN, there it is, I turn on the TV. That does make it easy.

Boom! Yes, that is how a lot of people consume this stuff, but viewing habits are changing. I mentioned this on Mystery Creative a few weeks ago, and I think this puts me in an older demographic, but I really miss the days of just channel surfing, and even though I have YouTube TV, and it has a channel guide that you can surf through,

I don't do it as much anymore, except for last night, after the Masters, Lehman put on Rudy, because it was on some random channel, and I was like, man, the good old days. The 90s all over again, like you were saying, Dan. It was great. We don't channel surf anymore, and it's a shame. Yesterday I was channel surfing to a sense in that like it it gave me an option of a show

I've never heard of I was going through and then said like for you Stu gots. You're gonna love this show. It's from 2023 it's called greatest heist with Pierce Brosnan Wow History Channel oh I'm locked in that part The little H on the history channel really kind of takes away from it a little bit but greatest heist with Pierce Brosnan That's Billy. I feel like I'm never if if Netflix or Hulu owns the catalog for greatest heist I'm never going on those streamer apps and hitting it That's a show for channel surfing same with air disasters also greatest heist. I'm interested in with Pierce Brosnan not missing.

Did they talk about the most recent heist by the way? What's that? The Easter heist, you guys hear about that or no? No. It's like one of the biggest heists in American history. They did it over Easter weekend, they stole like three million dollars, yeah. And then they came back to work after Easter. Three million, Child's Play, episode one of greatest heist.

In cash. Over a hundred million dollars in time now half a billion in diamonds That's a crazy heist a Diamond heist is a totally different guy Don libertard if you see a photo of fries Do you reach for it not unlike a pigeon flying into a sliding glass door?

I'm not kidding you that I have been tempted in restaurants just walking past tables to grab somebody's fries. That hasn't happened to you guys? I've done it. You've done it to me. Have you done that thing on like actual photographs where you try to zoom in on it with your fingers and you just make a big streak across it? A bigger fry? Yes, I've licked my computer screen when it's on there I

love french fries two gods who doesn't love french fries I thought I thought that was always someone out there I thought that was the one thing America could agree on I thought that that was the one place where every citizen in our country would indeed be united across the 50 states. This is the dawn of a car show with this to God. America is an unprecedented territory for the first time a former United States president faces criminal charges in court in one corner a sleazy slutty prostitute with no shame or credibility. In the other, Stormy Daniels. Donald Trump faces charges that he paid $130,000 in hush money to a

porn star. No former president has ever stood trial before. This is the first of four criminal trials Donald Trump faces. It's very serious. Like he's the voice actor of a generation. He does like 21 voices on The Simpsons and that's how we use him to do that. Ellie Mistal is with us.

He's a justice correspondent for the nation. He's the author of Allow Me to Retort, A Black Guy's Guide to the Constitution. It's been too long since I've talked to him. His perspective and his viewpoint is necessary in these divided times. He's also the only person in the history of this show to do it with an Afro pick. Thank you for joining us, Ellie. I appreciate the time. What do you find most absurd about both today and just the last, I'm going to say, eight years of chaos?

There are three main witnesses in the trial that we're about to see, right? One is a former president of the United States. One is a low rent fixer from the bridge and tunnel crowd who's already been to jail for lying to the FBI. And the third is an adult film actress. And it's the president with the least amount of credibility in the room. Like that's the thing that always kind of gets me, right? It's the actual president of the United States, which is the lowest hanging sleaziest fruit in the entire room, when put next to a fixer and an adult film star. That's that that's kind of amazing. But it's but it's where we are.

Because we know what our what happened here, right? Again, Michael Cohen went to jail for lying. So when he decided to tell the truth, the truth he told was that Trump slept with Stormy Daniels and paid him $130,000 to pay her to cover it up, right? That's backed according to the FBI, who again, jailed Cohen for lying about it in the first place.

Then we have Stormy Daniels, who has done nothing but tell the truth. I mean, she might be able to lie to the camera for a living, but she doesn't lie about who she lays with, right? She ain't told a single falsehood in this entire story. So she knows who she slept with. She knows exactly the kinds of mushrooms that she's been dealing.

She knows how much money she got, right? So the two people who have it live are not the president. And that always, that's always amazing to me. What do you expect to see today and the rest of the time in this trial? Because a criminal trial is different from some of his other courtroom shenanigans. It's not because he's white. So it's not like it. Like I expect to see chaos because Trump brings chaos. Right. Look, look, if it was any other defendant, given his repeated violations of court orders and gag orders and propriety, and if it was any other defendant,

Trump would be rolled into that courtroom on the Hannibal Lector gurney. Right. Just, just with the face met, let's wouldn't be able to say anything because of his constant repeated lies and falsehoods, right? But he's Trump, he's white, he's rich. So they ain't gonna do that. They ain't gonna wheel him in on the Hannibal Lecter Gurney.

They're gonna let him walk into the courthouse, spew his ridiculousness, sit there for six hours where nobody gets to know, because there are no cameras in this courtroom for reasons passing understanding. So nobody gets to see it actually happen. Then he's gonna walk out of the courtroom, he's gonna lie about it some more.

He's gonna go, no, it was unfair and the judge's daughter hates man. And it's gonna do the whole, it's gonna be circus, the circus for six weeks because that's all Trump knows how to do, right? When you're a carnival barker, every problem looks like a clown. And that's all Trump knows how to do, right? When you're a carnival barker, every problem looks like a clown and that's what Trump is. Like he's just the clown and he's able to bring

clownishness to anything he touches. You know, Rick Wilson says, everything Trump touches dies, that's true. But it's also everything Trump touches is sullied, right? Everything Trump touches is lessened, and that's what this trial is going to be like, just like all of his other ones. What about consequences? All right, so here's the thing. Obviously, I hate the man, and I wish nothing but bad

things for him for the rest of his life, but he's accused of falsifying business records, which he I think clearly did. I think the prosecution will show that he reimbursed himself illegally and fraudulently for the hush money payments. But the thing is, we don't normally put people in jail for this kind of business fraud when it's their first time offense and calling Trump a first time defender offender hurts me like in my soul. Like I don't like that reality that we live in. But he is technically a 76 year old first time offender. And we generally do not put people in jail,

76 year old people in jail for first time offense of falsifying business records. Not saying that he couldn't go to jail, but I'm saying that just put it like this. If he went to jail behind these charges, that would be extreme. And Trump always uses the justice system in the other way. He always gets the most lenient version of justice, not the harshest version of justice. Another way of putting it is you'd have to be black to go to jail behind these charges, right?

And whatever Trump is, he ain't black. And so it's unlikely that he will face actual jail time behind this, this case. How important is jury selection? What happens if Trump gets one MAGA fan on the jury? And then he wins. Then he wins. It's, it's, it's the whole ball game, right? Like I, I've always, I've been, I've always thought about the Trump trial kind of like the Hugh Freeze scandal, right?

Like what's important here? Like, oh, I'm going to call all these prostitutes. Well, yeah, it's not really bad to call. What's bad is that you're on the Ole Miss plane while you're calling the prostitutes. Like that's what got Freeze. Now imagine you're trying to hold freeze accountable and somebody on the committee is a booster, right, of Ole Miss. Somebody, or now you're trying to hold freeze accountable years later and somebody on the committee is a booster

of Auburn. Like what happens then, right? And that's where we are with the jury selection. It only takes one MAGA cultist and as much as New York City has this reputation of being, you know, super liberal It's not right. I mean Eric Adams is in charge that Nick Lee, right? Like we we got idiots here too. And so it just takes one Inserted into the jury to hang the jury because it's a criminal case. You need unanimous consent I will say and I said this on television last night like as Much as I think that jury selection

is the entire ballgame, I'm not completely hopeless here, because the goal of jury selection is not to find 12 people who don't have an opinion about Trump. That's impossible. That's impossible. Everybody's got an opinion about Trump. The goal is to find 12 people who

are willing to put their opinions about Trump to the side long enough to hear the evidence presented at trial, right? And to give that evidence the fair shake as opposed to their preconceived notions about Trump. Now, personally, I could not do it. Right? If I was in the jury pool, I'd be like, no, you have to exclude me.

I hate the man. I, you know, get me out of this pool. Like I can't be impartial about this man. Are there 12 people in New York City, which has quite a few people who can, in good faith, treat this man impartially? I think there's a chance, I think there's a chance, that you find those 12 people.

Obviously Trump's defense team will be looking for I mean They'll have their secret codes and like are you wearing are you wearing the trucker hat underneath your you know suit like they're They'll be trying to find out who's actually MAGA and insert that person on the jury That's what the defense is looking for and if they get one or two of those people, that's it ballgame But but the prosecution and the judge, you jury questionnaire, I think is very good. There's a chance that you could get a fair jury. That goal seems unattainable to me, Ellie. It just seems like it seems nearly impossible.

You know what? It seems unattainable to me that you're going to find 12 people. The other thing, Stu, though, is that the case is really simple. Like, there's not a lot. It's not a hard case to prove, right? Like there's not, there's not a lot, it's not a hard case to prove, right? Did you have sex with this woman? Yes. Did you pay her?

Yes. Did you lie about why you paid her? Yes. Did you know you were lying while you were doing it? That's kind of the, yeah, right? So like to rule for an acquittal, you've gotta not just be like, you gotta not just be like a Trump supporter in the way that like,

I don't know, Chris Sununu is, right? You can't be the Susan Collins, like, Trump has learned his lesson, Trump support. Like, you've got to be like, died in the wool, Lindsey Graham, like, I live inside Trump's crevices like Trump supporter in order to quit him And again, they could find that person but like I it's I haven't completely lost Hope that they that person gets excluded. Do you think Trump will testify? He'll want to he'll say he'll want to Because he thinks that he thinks everything's a show. And he has that performer sense that if I could just,

if I could just razzle dazzle him, I can get off. The problem is that when you put him on the stand, all of his prior lies and bad acts come out, right? Like right now what's happening, like while we're on air, is that the trial, right now they're making evidentiary decisions in the trial. Does the Karen McDougall story come in? Because remember, Thurman Daniels ain't the only person that he had sex with outside the bonds of his marriage, right? So does that story come in? Does the National Enquirer catch-and-kill stories,

do those come in? Does the Access Hollywood tape come in? Do we have to play that to the jury? And when Trump gets on, you know, we're gonna make, the judge is gonna make those decisions today, but when Trump gets on the stand, he can talk himself into introducing further bad evidence against him. So if I'm his lawyer, I'm doing everything I can to keep that man again,

gurneyed and ballgagged and in the chair, whether Trump is able to overcome that. I can't know he's, you know, the client gets to gets the side and Trump likes the camera. The fact that there are no cameras in this courtroom, I think lessens the chance that Trump testifies. Honestly, if there were there were cameras there, I think he would use it as a campaign ad. Without the cameras there, I think cooler legal heads will prevail, but you never know with this guy.

Ellie, I have a pitch that I'm interested in seeing if you wanna get in on. Maybe you come on as a consultant or whatever. We have Hollywood friends we can pitch us to. It's a sitcom. Maybe you talk to some people at NBC. It's called White House arrest. And what happens is you have either a former president

or current president, they go to trial, they're found guilty, and because of age or because of severity of the crimes, they get house arrest. But it's at the White House. So they can't leave. White House arrest. Okay, so first of all, constitutionally,

just to be clear, there is nothing that prevents a person who has been convicted of a crime or is currently serving time for a crime from being president. That's just not something the white enslavers who wrote the constitution decided to put in there. Right, and now you can be in jail and be president, right? So like that, just as a legal matter,

your pitch does pass the smell test. It's possible for that to happen. I would argue though that, I don't wanna get into trouble. So you internet. Right, that's really weird. Let's also remember something. Trump is the first president to be prosecuted because other criminal

ass presidents in the past have not been held accountable for their actions, right? Like there there are some other presidents that we could have prosecuted if we were serious about this democracy in times before, just just to be clear, right? So like I think the reason why it's so important to prosecute Trump for his crimes, not just this one, but the ones that Jack Smith is working on and all the rest, is that it's the only limiting factor we have to stop future presidents from doing future crime, right? If Trump's, like take Trump's immunity argument, if you were just, if you becoming president makes you immune,

not only for the things you do as president, but everything you do for the rest of your life. You know, that's that's a principle that's not just going to apply to Trump. It's going to apply to every president going forward. And that's a terrible president president because presidents are already fundamentally dangerous to democracy and democratic self-government. Well, I mean, we're thinking like 22 minutes, maybe to dance in that. That's a half track. Sounds like you're out. to democracy and democratic self-government. Well, I mean, we're thinking like 22 minutes, maybe Ted Danson, not that serious. It's half-track.

Sounds like you're out. I mean, yeah. I'm going to, Ellie, I'm going to read you 10 Donald Trump facts, and I want you to pick either the best or the worst one, however it is. Just 10 facts. Are you ready? OK.

Donald Trump once said that wind turbines cause cancer. Donald Trump once claimed that household bleach could cure COVID in quote, one minute. Donald Trump founded a fake university. Donald Trump has been accused of sexual misconduct by at least 26 women since the 1970s. Donald Trump called for the execution of five wrongfully imprisoned teenagers.

Donald Trump oversaw a foundation that misused donations for self-dealing while failing to pay victims of 9-11. Donald Trump called the pandemic that killed 1.1 million Americans a hoax. Donald Trump oversaw an agriculture department that banned the phrase climate change. Donald Trump said that John McCain was not a war hero. Donald Trump shared highly classified information with the foreign minister of Russia. The wind turbines is always the dumbest. It's just always, the level of not knowing of things

to say that always jumps off the page. But obviously I gotta go, I gotta go with the 26 women that he sexually assaulted, some of whom he has been accused of raping. Like that, like joking aside, right? Dude is Bill Cosby out here when it comes to how he treats women. And it's just like, we just accept it. Like we just, it just rolls off the tongue, right?

It's just, oh, also they're 20. It's never, it's not everyone, right? It's never just E.G. Carroll. It's never just Stormy. It's all these women that he has molested, assaulted, and in some cases raped. And it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter to Christians. I mean, again, and in some cases raped, and it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter to Christians.

I mean, again, with the Hugh Fries, who rehabilitated Hugh Fries? Was it Auburn? No, it was Liberty. It was the Christian university that was like, get that escort man back in here. Yeah, we got ways of football games. Like, it's the Christians that are okay with this.

And it's, sorry, so, so winter bites, obviously the worst. Always great, thank you. In his defense, I did the bleach thing and it worked. How do you think I got my hair like this? I was trying to cure COVID, my hair ended up like this.