The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz - Hour 1: Who The F*** Is Willy? (feat. Ron Magill)
Episode Date: March 25, 2025"Honestly, you can take my genitals." Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices...
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This is the Dan Leventor Show with the StuGuts Podcast.
Zazzle and I, lest you say that we are uncultured heathens,
recently went to a musical, not together.
I don't know why I was so quickly defensive about that.
God forbid.
I'd love to go to a musical with you guys.
You have to understand the reason I said that
is because he dressed like this.
Oh.
What's wrong with this?
For a musical.
Was it a Heat musical?
It was a Michael Jackson musical.
Oh boy.
What'd they talk about?
It was a, well to me, you say that
and that's one of the things that I found amazing
about the entirety of the experience,
because it was simply amazing, but the idea that music
and talent, that one of a kind, never to be duplicated,
would make it so that an auditorium would fill with people
because the music was so good, sort of ignoring
that probably, yeah, pedophilia was likely something
that he was doing in a way
that has been documented in documentary form,
even though a lot of people don't believe it.
What do you mean ignoring it?
Several, all throughout the show, they were saying,
can you believe what they're saying about me in the media?
They didn't ignore it.
So they, like, mocked it?
No, but look.
Also that could mean anything.
Like people are making fun of his appearance.
Like there's a lot of things people were talking
about in the media about him.
Kinda sounds like a pro-Pedophilia musical you went to.
Okay, that is a way to frame it.
Billy, why do you wanna be starting something?
Beat it, Jeremy.
The music is so enduring, so enduring that somehow posthumously he
cannot be canceled by allegations that would obviously get anyone else canceled.
I don't know some of you should look into a Prince documentary that Netflix
will not allow to air and that the Prince Netflix will not allow to air and that the
Prince estate will not allow to air that would be the greatest of documentaries that I'm guessing
posthumously would do things to Prince's reputation that would make it harder to separate the art from
the artist than L. Duncan just did with Malky and I and Zaslow did at a musical together but not together.
So how do we do this?
I know Pablo's one of the only people on the planet
that's seen this masterpiece of a documentary
with the guy that made OJ made in America.
Ezra Edelman.
Don't say what's his name.
No, I didn't remember what his name was.
No, I understand.
He won an Oscar.
Respect.
OK, win another one.
Well, he would have with this.
Look, man, I, oh my God, listen to this story, okay?
Because this one crushes me,
just crushes me for Ezra Edelman,
a perfectionist of the highest order
who makes only the best things.
Guy makes the OJ documentary
and it can't even be done again.
Netflix tried recently, it's embarrassing.
No reason to watch it.
I saw it and I was like, nah.
No, it's been done so well,
it cannot and will not ever be done again better in a way
that masterpieces are.
He had so many options right after that.
So many options.
Anything you want to do.
Like, Clint Eastwood will take your seconds.
You can do anything.
But there's the pressure.
I got to make something better than that.
And he did.
Like, he made something and we'll never see it.
And we'll never see it. No one will never see it. And will never see it.
No one will ever see it because the Prince's state
will be able to protect it.
And imagine pouring yourself,
because he works dark, man.
He works alone and he is genius.
He is brilliant.
He makes the perfect documentary
and his next one was going to be better.
He was going to meet impossible expectations
and exceed his own, which are impossible,
because the Prince documentary
was gonna be better than the OJ documentary,
and no one's ever gonna see it.
Can you imagine how that would feel
to dedicate your life years to one thing?
It's perfect for him, because no one can come out
and say, wow, this was a flop.
Like, this didn't live up to expectations.
It's just like, wow, this is even better than the last one,
but I can't show you, just take my word for it.
And I'll show my friend Pablo,
and he won't say a bad thing about me.
Back to that, so here's the thing
I want to make movies someone watches he should have made a Marvel movie made a ton of money
Everyone would have watched his movie had all these options make a comic book movie Ezra. That's the move
How do we how do we get?
Pablo in a state of I don't know what to tell us
What's in kind of the cliff notes of the documentary. Like drugging Pablo, but like a nice way.
Like truth serum kind of thing.
Well what is he not allowed to say what he saw?
I don't know.
Why can't he describe what he saw?
The print estate is very litigious.
There are, to me, look man, I'm super curious
whether people are noticing just in general what's
happening with corporate greed and what's happening to the content
when documentaries that are alleged a place of truth in a time where you can't
trust anything to be the truth
the best document is we know when they're great and it's when they're
societally large
and tell you the truth but they can be distorted and formed into anything with a good filmmaker and the
corporations right now are running scared of everything happening in
America and the way that they can crush someone like Ezra Edelman who makes
great things is the way a lot of great things are gonna get crushed under the
weight of trying to tell the truth it's embarrassing like what's happening in
the media industry right now
and in this particular content industry,
because the whole thing is shaking
with the same people buying the things they want to make
with others, with access to others
that might not be the true story
that you get on Tiger Woods on Max,
even though he doesn't participate, which is hard to make.
And now all of us,
an athlete who spent his entire life in front of us
he marries and professes his love for donald trump juniors acts
and we don't know anything about that dude that resembles the truth because
he's been in the machine of marketing for so many years and even if it had
breakdown we still don't know what that dude's politics are on anything.
One of the best athletes of our time.
Do we?
I mean, he was in the White House like a month ago.
Yeah, I think we know.
Accepting like some sort of award from Donald Trump.
But why?
Like you can't get anything from him to explain what it is.
Also, he asked for our privacy in his last post.
Am I ignorant in not knowing the scandal surrounding
the Prince documentary?
Like we all know the Michael Jackson stuff
without actually watching a documentary.
But not everyone agrees.
There have been very good documentaries.
This is another litigious place.
It's very difficult to tell the truth,
which is where it is that some kids can get abused
because of how difficult it is to go against these
machines. A documentary has been made that I have seen that is extraordinary
and that I believe to be the truth about Michael Jackson's accusers but that
auditorium was filled in 2025 with people recreating beautifully packed and
degree of difficulty like there's never been a talent like that.
That song, that dance, that creative, like that many hits, that will never exist again.
Pitbull.
Twenty years after his death, he's still filling an auditorium with a whole bunch of people
who aren't making moral choices there.
They just want to hear his music.
Yeah, like I'm watching the show the other night. We're there and I'm, like it bothers me that there is a young audience, maybe the age of
some of you guys there in the shipping container, who may not understand how ridiculous this
guy was.
And even amidst all of the allegations, yeah, you almost don't know how to feel
while I'm sitting in there enjoying it
and like really loving this recreation of his music.
And then there's the other part where it's like,
is it okay that I'm enjoying this this much?
Would you say it was a thriller?
Can we play Marlin or Panther?
Ooh.
Nope, I don't wanna play that.
Oh, Dan, you'll do so well.
You guys can play it.
I look forward.
You tell me when you're gonna play it
and I would like to watch it from afar
and see how you guys do.
Do you guys like cowards?
24 minutes, can you give us 24 minutes?
No.
Weird of you?
Well, but you say I'm the coward, but I so badly.
You just wanna stand in the corner and watch?
I'll do it, I'll do it.
He's afraid he doesn't know his Panthers or his Marlins. I don't know the Panthers. Oh, you're scared, that's why. I'm no longer paid the corner and watch. I'll do it, I'll do it. He's afraid, he doesn't know. I'll know. His Panthers.
I don't know the Panthers.
I know the Marlins.
You're scared, that's why.
I'm no longer paid to know the Panthers.
Buh-bye, buh-bye, buh-bye.
Buh-bye, he doesn't know Marlins.
Alright, so.
Seth Jones.
I don't know the Marlins.
I can name a Marlin, I think.
Who?
Sandy.
You know, we haven't been talking about it.
Big return day today, obviously,
for Jimmy Butler, who's coming down. First game against his former team. Yeah, we haven't been talking about it. Big return day today, obviously, for Jimmy Butler,
who's coming down first game against his former team.
Yeah, we haven't talked about that yet.
We haven't talked about the fact that Jazz Chisholm
is also coming back today to face the Morrillans.
Spring training game, however, return game.
How do you think that's gonna be received?
Standing ovation, video package,
bigger or smaller story than the Jimmy Butler return?
What do we think?
Dan, will he be returning to play against A.J. Greer
or Calvin Focher?
Focher.
So when they call me a coward, Zazz,
didn't it feel to you in the last segment
that there was cowardice involved but it was not mine?
It felt like Tony and Jessica and Jeremy and Billy
were gonna have a good, good argument live on television
that would have been rich and resplendent for content, and I'm the coward?
In fairness, Tony stayed and you got up and left.
Yeah, that's true.
You didn't wanna play Marlin versus Panthers.
But I wanted to play the other game.
Connor Gillespie.
Can we play the other game?
Can we play the way that Tony sank the show
with his monkey shot that no one understood?
Evan Rodriguez.
That's a tricky one, Dan.
Well, while you were gone, we watched the Kim Mulkey dab
and I feel like all of the confusion was settled.
We united.
Yeah, incredible dab.
Everybody should know that.
The back row is united, Dan.
How is the confusion settled when the interview got wrecked
because Tony needed help and nobody gave it to him?
You would know if you didn't get up and leave.
Yeah, united we stand.
Yeah.
United we stand on business. USA.
The multi- wanted, who is the most conflicting now?
Because we've had this live, we've had this happen
in the history of the show.
I'm stunned to say this, that while in our lifetime
Mike Ryan made the grandstanding play
of quitting his lifetime team, the Cleveland Browns,
because he could no longer celebrate the.
Well, he was lurking in the shadows the next season.
They were flirting with the playoffs all of a sudden.
It was kind of like, well, what happened with that stand again?
Okay, regardless, he made a moral stand virtue signaling
and actually gave up his fandom
and got accused of all sorts of things,
but I felt like he left the team behind.
When we talk about Mulalky or Michael Jackson,
I genuinely ask you guys, where is the line?
I thought L already sort of answered this well.
I will also mention, we came together,
I don't wanna take the opportunity
to just dump on Mike Ryan,
because he's not here, that's not what I'm trying to do.
Go on.
But the four of us did come together
in the last segment off air and realized
we all are really annoyed by something
that Mike does every day that he hasn't been around to do,
which is he carries around, when you were saying,
the person that plays their Bluetooth speaker
out loud without headphones,
Mike comes in in the morning and he plays music
on his Bluetooth speaker and he walks around with it,
but at a volume that is difficult to...
It's an office-wide volume.
It's very loud and it's the first thing in the morning.
And nobody's listening to it.
So I walk into the makeup room
and it's like, I can't really talk to Jesse,
it's really loud, and then he'll leave the speaker
in there sometimes and walk out,
and then I'll get up and I'll lower the volume
because I'm like, this is too, too early.
My contouring's all off because Jesse hasn't heard it.
I've requested it to stay.
And then he'll come and bring it in here while we do our pre-show meeting.
And I, we all discovered in the last segment something we've never talked about before.
None of us really like that.
Okay, but again cowardice.
Like have you, have you said this to him?
Well we just did.
No, I've passive aggressively lowered the volume, but that's, I don't.
He's listening.
I'm not interested in confronting him over it.
Oh well, so here this is an, I'd like to He's listening. I'm not interested in confronting him over it. Oh, well, so here, this is,
I'd like to do this on Wild Willy Wednesdays.
I'd like to have this become a thing
that Billy Gill brings to us on Wednesdays.
What's Wild Willy Wednesdays?
Yeah, who the fuck's Willy?
That's just alliteration on Billy Gill.
Willow, it's Willow.
So I want him tomorrow to make it so that we get stuck
with just total chaos as,
what are you laughing about back there?
Who the f, is Willie?
This one over here just says today wasn't good enough.
I don't feel like I've caused any chaos.
If anything, I'm trying to right the ship today.
I've been doing my darndest to keep things on the rails.
Say, believe it or not, Ron McGill,
who will be joining us shortly,
I'm doing my best to make sure
that we're staying on track.
I'm just sitting here.
I'm just trying to change the subject
and shit on someone who's not here.
I wanna do that on Wednesdays is what I'm saying.
I wanna list, you guys said that you didn't wanna make,
to talk about Mike Ryan when he's not here.
If there's a list, that seems like a reasonable complaint.
Like a weekly office complaint that's bought by the group
about somebody, I feel like should be fair game
for all of us because those things should be spoken.
So you're saying spoiler Wednesday
and shit on whoever's not here Wednesday
and Wild Willy Wednesday are now all the same Wednesday?
There's proper channels though to deal with
inner office conflicts.
I don't know that just airing it out is a good idea.
That's historically what the show has done.
Historically, it's just been done this way.
I'm following the leader.
I will say this, you do kind of get a sense for the mood
and what kind of day you're in store for,
depending on the music that's playing.
That's the thing.
So it is a kind of a good tip sometimes.
Sometimes it's really heavy metal at AM.
If we're listening to Korn, you know we're in for a long one.
I don't need that.
I never need it actually.
You know what?
I would love like a weekly caucus
where we get together and somebody is being rude.
This, what you've just said to me, I had not realized
and it's been happening for three years.
Mike Ryan can absolutely alter the mood
of everything we're doing
with his musical choice in the morning.
He came in playing Chapel Rowan the other day and it literally led to our whole show
discussing that and a new parody song and all of this fun. But then he'll come in playing
heavy metal music Screamo at 8-10 in the morning and it's like, hey man, it's already an hour
drive.
Why did you think that's appropriate?
I didn't even realize that it was playing that loud though. I thought it was just something he was occasionally doing
because he got here first.
He gets here occasionally.
Yeah, I thought I thought he would.
I don't know why it was all music's only playing
when he's here.
It's not playing any other time.
That's right.
Exactly.
I think it's a new thing for your show
where you just shit on the person who's not here.
That's what we do every time.
It's not a new thing.
It's not a new thing.
It's every day. All right,. It's not a new thing. It's not a new thing. It's every day.
It's every single day.
All right, Ron McGill is with us now.
The things I have heard about myself.
Tomorrow it's my turn.
Yes, tomorrow.
Gather your list.
Everything's about Jeremy, by the way.
On Wild Willy Wednesday, yes.
Gather your things.
Go ahead, Roy.
Ron McGill joins us via LinkedIn jobs.
Post your job for free at linkedin.com
slash DLS terms and conditions apply.
Can I make a confession just since we're coming clean on
when we're talking bad about each other?
So like earlier today, Jeremy was across the street
and you said Jeremy's joining us from the weeds
and I just said to Jess and Tony,
I hope he catches Lyme disease.
What?
And I apologize for that.
Which is really mean.
It is really mean, I didn't mean it,
but I just, in the weeds, it was a joke that
was just there. Sorry to everyone. Ron, animals can get
vaccinated for Lyme disease, right? But there's no human
vaccine for it. Is that correct? No, animals don't get vaccinated
for Lyme disease. I don't believe no, they, they can carry
Lyme disease without showing symptoms. They can be
asymptomatic. So they can be, you know, conduits to transmit Lyme disease, but they don't necessarily show symptoms. They can be asymptomatic, so they can be, you know, conduits to transmit Lyme disease,
but they don't necessarily show symptoms. And I don't think they can be vaccinated against it.
Do animals just take the shot or do they do their own research?
Ah, yeah. No, they just take the shot, Billy. Somebody's got to hold them, generally speaking,
but they take the shot like your kid, you know?
What are some of the animals?
Let's do a top three list here, a top five list of animals.
Animals that Ron McGill has had an experience with
while trying to give a shot.
I'm sure that he's got, do you have a list of five here
that you could do off the top of your head
because you're around animals during surgery
and during emergency situations?
I don't usually give the shots.
There have been some exceptions to that.
Usually it's the veterinarians that do that.
But I have given shots to rhinos before.
I've given shots to a giraffe before.
Um, um, I've given shots to crocodiles before.
Um, well why is that one the ta-da and the other ones were down?
No, they all got ta-das. You're just hearing it wrong.
Is it like a really thick needle for the crocodiles? Like how do you penetrate their hide?
It is thick and what we have to do is we have the crocodile in a type of chute. We put
it like in a tube and we have an access to a hole in the tube so the crocodile just doesn't
really much have a choice.
I know that sounds kind of cruel,
but it's also for the safety of ourselves and the crocodile.
Well, because you can't have it buck all over the place,
right, like it's gotta be- Exactly.
And they're incredibly powerful.
So generally speaking, we used to have a transport tube.
We made this big, it's like an aluminum tube
that has handles on the side,
that we get the crocodiles to come through the tube,
and then we hold them in the tube there, and we have access to the sides of the tube to
do whatever kind of treatment we need to do.
The rhino? Is that a difficult or?
The rhino, you know, we use a thinner gauge needle and the rhino, once you're giving him
his carrots and giving him his hay, just drag him to the side, it just feels like a mosquito
bite to him. So it's not much of a big thing.
There is a Lyme vaccine for dogs, Ron, but apparently not a thing that's common in Florida
because there's not a lot of Lyme down here.
Apparently, it's more vaccines.
Yeah, Lyme disease is not found in these hot, hot climates.
New York is the hotbed right now.
Interesting.
Where Willow's from.
Howdy, everybody.
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Dan LeBretard. The elephant went into a 7-Eleven and bought a pack of cigarettes.
But my question to Ron is this.
Stugats!
That joke didn't really land the way you wanted it to, did it?
How, um...
We all just stared at you.
It didn't land at all.
This is the Don Lebatard Show with the Stugats!
How does it work, Ron? If someone can you tell me about the tick because I have I have heard stories from people
coming back from places without realizing that they have a tick on them.
Like what ends up happening there?
You know, it's not it's not it's not a guarantee you're getting Lyme disease
by any stretch of the imagination.
I mean, I've been in rainforests where I've come back
and the ticks are tiny when they get onto you.
But when they start gorging themselves with blood
is when you realize that they're there
and at the risk of giving you too much information,
you don't realize it until you're in the shower
and you start rubbing around and you think,
oh my God, what's going here?
What's going here?
Because they tend to get in the dark crevices of your body
and they expand there and then you realize, oh my God,
and then you have to realize,
you have to be very careful to get them off
because you can't pull them off
and sometimes their head remains there
where the body comes off
and that is a portal for infection.
I wanna play a couple of videos here for Ron. Let's start
with these dolphins here and see what it is that he can tell us about. He's told us many, many times
it's the smartest of animals, but the curiosity of these dolphins. Yeah, I think you know that's of
course when the spaceship there came back to earth, those poor astronauts are up there for eight or
nine months, and I think that dolphins are both curious, they're intelligent, they're
looking around.
It's obviously a new thing in their area here.
There's a lot of attention there, and I think it's almost like a childlike curiosity that
they're checking it out.
They're very curious about it.
The dolphin, when you talk about intellect, would say the the highest form of
example of a dolphin being smarter than all the other animals is? I can't give
you an exact example I can tell you how dolphins tend to navigate and how they
tend to understand you know dolphin therapy a lot of therapy for for
autistic children nonverbal children the way dolphins seem to be able to communicate
and connect with those children to me is,
it's profoundly moving.
I've seen that happen on several occasions.
As a matter of fact, I've seen a child
who wasn't quote unquote non-verbal
actually become, start verbalizing around a dolphin
and the dolphin seemed to understand
that there was a connection there.
So I just think that they are incredibly perceptive animals. dolphins seemed to understand that there was a connection there. So wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait a minute. You said,
you said you've seen a child who wasn't verbal at all speak just when in the
company of a dolphin. Yeah. And when I say speak, I don't say, you know,
come out with entire sentences,
but start uttering sounds where they would not do that at all before.
I've seen that happen on two different occasions to where the parents just burst out in tears.
They couldn't believe what they were seeing.
So there's a power there.
There's a connection there.
And I think, you know,
when you look at the size of the brain of a dolphin,
I mean, really relative to its size of the rest of the body,
it's very, very similar to a human being.
Ron, when you talk about smart animals,
if I put up your dolphin, but I say octopus,
Ooh. Cause they can, you can put them in a jar and they can find their way to get out of the jar. When you talk about smart animals if I put up your dolphin, but I say octopus
Because they can think you can put them in a jar and they can find their way to
Do at LeBata shows smarter animal dolphin or octopus
Well, you know the octopus got a lot of a lot of big publicity with that
That movie that came out the Oscar-winning movie. I think my friend the octopus or something like that. My octopus teacher, I think. The octopus teacher, there you go. And they are incredibly intelligent as far as being able to
navigate things, the way they can change their color, the way they can camouflage, the way they
can escape almost anything. I mean, you look at an octopus that, you know, bigger than your fist,
and it can get through an eighth of an inch of an opening area. And that's pretty incredible. So they are tend to be very, I guess, opportunistic.
They're very resourceful.
As far as solving puzzles and thinking the way a dolphin
does, I just don't think the octopus is that intelligent.
I think they're very intelligent.
I don't want to take anything away from the octopus.
But I do think the dolphin.
Whoa, you just said they're not that intelligent.
What are you, what were you talking about? Well, you just said they're not that intelligent. That's a contortionist. I didn't say they're as intelligent. I said they're not as intelligent think the dolphin. What are you worried about? You just said they're not that intelligent.
That's not torsion.
I didn't say they're as intelligent.
I said they're not as intelligent as a dolphin.
You said they're not that intelligent.
That's a controversial thing to say.
That's controversial what you've just said there.
The octopus.
No, no, you like controversy.
No, the octopus is widely regarded
as one of the smartest animals and you're out here,
you're disrespecting the octopus.
And I said it's not, in my personal opinion,
is not as intelligent as a dolphin.
Yeah well that's not exactly what you said you said not that.
No that is exactly what I said you stopped me when I said it's not as intelligent.
Okay, I didn't say the octopus is not intelligent.
I didn't say that Dan.
Not that smart.
Stop it.
You know you just love this kind of controversy.
Give me the example of you being in a surgery
with an animal and an animal,
the greatest example you have,
the animal coming awake
because the anesthesia didn't last as long as it should have
and all of a sudden you got some real danger
in the surgical area.
Well, we weren't actually in the hospital.
This is when I first started at the old Cranon Park Zoo.
We had a chimpanzee, a male chimpanzee,
his name was Colonel, and we anesthetized him and we had to pull him out of the enclosure and we put him on the grass
next to a canal there. He was totally out. They used the drug, which everybody knows about now,
called ketamine, and he was out. And Dr. Hubble, I'll never forget, the veterinarian was kneeling
between his legs leaning over. He had to suture up his arm. He had cut his arm badly, so he had to
suture up the arm, but of course we had to have him anesthetized and mobilized to do that so I'm holding one arm
and another gentleman's holding the other arm and Dr. Hubbell's on his knees between his legs
leaning over sewing up his arm and then all of a sudden Colonel just sat up got right in front of
Dr. Hubbell's face and just went I like. The one guy on the one arm literally jumped into the canal.
I froze, I panicked and just froze and I just stood there.
And then all of a sudden, and Dr. Hubbell didn't move either.
He just looked at him.
This chimp, if you've never heard a chimp scream
in your face, it's something that's blood curdling.
And then all of a sudden his eyes rolled back into his head
and he just kind of went, and fell back down.
So he was going through some type of
hallucinogenic hallucination because the ketamine and I
looked at doctor who was a doc you go so that sometimes
happens with this drug that it weirdly cured his depression.
Yeah, well I got to tell you what I had to change my pants
after that that I was I was I was just going to ask you did
you actually and literally shit your pants?
You know, I don't know if I shit my pants,
but certain bodily fluids escaped my body at that time.
Let's leave it at that.
It was a shark, Dan.
Maybe.
I'm not gonna leave it at that.
Ron, you have often given us totally horrifying,
terrifying situations.
I don't think that's even the greatest story that you have as it regards
Not even an alive chimp a dead chimp
Scream, I'll be orangutan
Yeah, but I got number of times you have shit your pants in one of these situations actually
I've ever actually shit my pants. I mean, I might have passed some gas.
I don't... Okay, I'm sorry. I've gone too far. Yes, I think you have. Well, I just
thought that... Literal shit stir. Well, but that's correct, and I would have...
You've been correcting everybody in this segment. I've been right. I've been right a lot. Every time you've been right. I have found that Ron your stories when it comes to this,
this is a truly horrifying thing.
Like you would not have any other instances in which you would ever find yourself this kind of scared.
No, no, I was really scared with that chimp.
Because a chimp can rip your arm off and then beat you with it.
I mean a chimp is a very, very dangerous animal.
We've all heard about chimps attacking people. And this is one of the biggest male chimps I've ever
seen in my life. He looked like a small gorilla and to have him get up, you know,
be fast asleep and all of a sudden open his eyes wide and that scream just that
and these big canine sticking out. I mean let me tell you something, and he's right and I
couldn't believe Hubble didn't just jump in the water. The one guy, Lee Orban, he
jumped in the water. I sat there in fear. I was an idiot because I could have been killed.
I should have jumped in the water too.
Fortunately, the thing just passed back out.
And that's like, I think it was like the second week
I started as a zookeeper, man.
I'd never been exposed to that kind of thing.
And it's just, that's blood curdling stuff.
Really, that was very frightening.
Have you ever had-
One time I was working for Bill Hostel
when I was working at the Miami Serpentarium,
my very first job.
And I had to open up the right side of the lab. I was working for Bill Hosta when I was working at the Miami Serpentarium, my very first job.
And I had to open up the right side of the lab and there was one room where the King
Cobras were.
And I remember I'd go in and open the door, turn on the lights, and a King Cobra had gotten
out.
And I opened the door and literally eight feet in front of me, this King Cobra just
goes right up in front of my face.
And I just backed up, closed the door and I went, Mr. Hosta, I think there's one out.
And he went in there and he just said, oh, yeah, there is. Let me put it back. And
I was like, oh my God, are you kidding me? Have you ever had a moment like that where you actually
said to yourself early in your career where you said, I don't know this for me. I'll tell you the
hard thing for me. Yeah. I'm going to be honest with you. One of the first things they taught me
when I went around is they were feeding condors. And the gentleman was feeding the condor a live rabbit. Now this is back
45 years ago. We don't really do that anymore. But I remember the condor getting the rabbit
and the rabbit screaming. And I just said to myself, No, I don't think I can do this.
Even though it's nature, this is what happens in nature. I said to myself, I don't think I can do this.
That was very difficult for me.
Fortunately, we've gone past that.
We don't feed live animals to animals anymore.
But that was a moment that did hit me.
I was, that was, it haunted me for several days after that.
Well, it sounds for several years,
the way that you're talking,
all of us are reacting the same way to that.
Yeah, it was, listen, I'm not gonna lie.
It was a very difficult thing to watch,
even though the person at the time was insisting,
no, this is what gets them, their natural behaviors go.
And in fact, we were breeding those condors
and several of the condor chicks that hatched out
at Cranen Park Zoo are now flying free in Columbia.
They were released back into the wild.
That was the most productive pair of condors,
Andean condors in the country at the time.
And it was because they were provided all these natural behaviors.
So I mean, listen, I'd be a bit of a hypocrite because the bottom line is, you know, we've
got to feed these animals, animals, you know, it's a circle of life.
And I just think that the animals can be more humanely put down as opposed to putting them in their live and having them fight for their life.
Ron, I didn't know there was a zoo at Crandon Park. It says it closed in the 80s. What was the story with the Crandon Park Zoo?
That's where I first started working. It was a beautiful place. As far as the zoo goes, it was really horrific, especially when you look back at some of the, there are the classic cages with the metal bars,
the concrete floors, you know, maybe a tire hanging
from a rope for the chimps.
It was really everything that is terrible about zoos.
But, you know, they didn't know better back then.
Everything back then was a different mindset.
People fortunately have gone a long way
and realized that this is no way to maintain animals.
So there's been improvements.
You know, having said that, listen, in a perfect
world, and I know that's going to sound strange coming from me, we wouldn't need any zoos.
In a perfect world, everybody would be able to go out to Africa, see the animals in the
African plains, the Amazon, the Arctic, see these animals in their natural environment.
Unfortunately, we don't live in a perfect world. Most people will never be able to see
that. And I know as a kid who grew up in a small apartment in New York City, being able
to go to the Bronx Zoo, planted a seed in me that has enabled me to raise millions of dollars
to protect animals in the wild where they belong.
But having said that, if the zoo is the last place that these animals can safely live,
then zoos are failed, and which would be their number one priority, and that's to protect
animals in the wild.
Ron, earlier I think you were talking about a chimp ripping off a person's arm and beating them with it.
Insulting.
It really is insulting.
Is that necessary and have you actually seen,
it seems like at that point it's adding insult to injury.
Like if you've taken my arm,
why do you need to beat me with it also?
I was kind of just kind of setting up an example.
The reality is when chimps come at you,
one of the first things they do
is they try to bite off your genitals.
That's the reality?
The first thing a chimp does when it comes up to you
is tries to bite off your genitals.
That's how they fight each other.
They go right for the genitals.
They try to bite them off.
Well, hold on a second.
Do you have chimps sans genitals at the zoo
because they're biting them off?
That's insulting.
No, no, because we've worked very hard
to have a cohesive troop of chimps.
But if rival, you could almost equate it to have a cohesive troop of chimps, but if rival
you can almost equate it to gangs.
You can see chimps in the wild when they go into, I agree with you, Dan, I'm rubbing my
eyes.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no These chimps will fight with each other and yes, a very common battle tactic in rival chimps is to go after the genitals.
Fight's over at that point, right? Like whoever wins the genital biting contest is done, right?
Oh yeah, no, it's over. It's over. It's over.
But then you're primed for the next battle, right? Once you don't have genitals, you really have the upper hand in the next battle.
Because they have nothing to bite off. You just get... Honestly, if you're done reproducing as a chimp,
take my genitals.
I don't need my genitals anymore.
I don't need little chimps running around
that I then need to support or bad mouth
to go off to college.
Yeah, what?
Billy, you planning to have any more kids?
Honestly, you can take my genitals at this point.
I'm just, I'm learning.
Probably make my life more difficult if I have more.
I'm out of room at the Gill Manor,
there's no more room in the inn, you know what I mean?
And unless I'm getting some sort of raise,
we're out of rooms there, so I don't have any more room
for these kids.
So take my genitals, and then if I was a chimp,
you take my genitals, dude, I'm going undefeated,
champion of the world, just,
om nom nom nom nom nom, you know what I mean?
Eating genitals left and right.
Was that all your genitals were good for,
it's just reproducing?
There's nothing else you use those generals for.
Nah, I married for five years.
What if the raise was dependent on having another kid?
You have another kid, you then get a raise.
I get another raise for having a kid?
Yeah.
Sign me up.
Okay, deal.
I don't know if that's binding.
What about me?
You gotta get things in writing, metal arc.
I wanted to be-
Skip Dan said.
I wanted to be orally binding right there.
I have never heard of anyone so willing
to forfeit their genitals in my life.
It was shocking.
I'll put it on the poll please.
Is the fight won by the first genital biter?
Because I do believe that you guys have got that right.
Like that's the fight is over.
It's over, it's over.
At that point that I was unaware
after all of these years doing this with you,
that, so the chimp is savvy that way.
Like the chimp has learned over many years of evolution,
I'm just going in first for the kill right there.
That's my sweet spot.
He's gonna bite his balls off.
That's exactly right guys. That's the male chim chimps that's how they go after each other.
Oh my god, Ron good seeing you, thank you. Much of what it is that he's talking about will be on display when he unretires on April 13th, his Sex and the Animals presentation,
which has an assortment of amazing scientific facts in it and is fun for the whole family?
And mutilated genitalia.
Summoner family.
Fun for the whole family, Ron?
Can I say that April 13th is fun for the whole family
or this is more of a-
That's the whole family, Dan.
It's 21 and over, brother.
All right, it's an adult presentation.
There you go.
Okay, see you, Ron.
Good seeing you.
Have a good one, guys.
Roy, are the boldest takes around here getting any better
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