The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz - Hour 1: WHY DID YOU FIRE MY BROTHER?

Episode Date: July 8, 2024

The investigative journalism wing of Meadowlark Media found the bat boy who David Samson fired for drinking too much milk on a dare from Brad Penny and proceeding to vomit, Nick Cirillo. Nick joins the show to confront David after the nearly two decades that have passed since the incident. He has many questions for David, as does the rest of our crew after some new facts come to light. Plus, Pablo shares the details of his new CPAP machine, Charlie's sleep paralysis demon is Dan, and Jess delivers her F1 minute. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

You're listening to Giraffe King's Network. At Best Western, when you stay three nights this summer, you earn 10,000 bonus points. And while you're reliving your summer childhood road trip memories, they're creating new ones. So check into any one of our more than 2,300 hotels and make more memories to look back on. Here, we'll set the scene.

Life's a trip. Make the most of it at Best Western. Visit bestwestern.com for terms and conditions. Now's a good time to remember where the story of tequila started. In 1795, the first tequila distillery was opened by the Cuervo family. And 229 years later, Cuervo is still going strong. Family owned from the start, same family, same land.

Now's a good time to enjoy Cuervo, the tequila that invented tequila. Go to Cuervo.com to shop tequila or visit a store near you. Cuervo. Now's a good time. Trademarks owned by Bekle. SAB the CV. Copyright 2024. Proximo. Jersey City, New Jersey. Please drink responsibly. This is the Don Leventor Show with the StuGuts Podcast. I'm afraid David Samson is gonna die soon. Huh. Just in general or did something happen? David seems surprised by this. That's the problem because David Samson has sleep habits that are truly unlike any person that I believe to be functioning or alive. David Samson, how much do you sleep on average every night?

We've talked about it, two to three hours. That's, so that, he might have incredible genetic mutation because different people need different amounts of sleep. And so like the sleep time is really important for like brain health. And it's possible in the same way that some people are more genetically equipped to run long distances and people are more genetically equipped to run long distances and people are more genetically

equipped to do certain things that he might be. He's the barefoot runner, Olympic runner of sleeplessness. I don't, I don't. I did a race yesterday morning. It's like supposedly like real short term memory and a lot of like brain function stuff is really tied into amount of sleep that you get. And I don't get any inkling from David

that he struggles with any of those things. Maybe he doesn't need that much sleep. But that's the warning sign, is that for people who don't know, David runs marathons. He does insane seven continents, seven days, seven marathon stunts. He hosts a show by himself, and we just talk to him into a microphone,

relentlessly every day. And he's one of those energetic people that I know, and he sleeps the least of anybody that I am aware of. And I'm just concerned that there is going to be a reckoning. What reckoning? Yeah, I get what you're saying. Like I'm gonna have a heart attack on camera? The problem is the-

What's the reckoning you're talking, am I missing something? I agree with Pablo. Am I bleeding right now, like out of my ears? I agree with Pablo in theory, but you would see some signs from someone or along the way. So like I, when I go without sleep,

like it is obvious that I am terribly slow and like when I go for a week or so without getting a good amount of sleep. Like if I have a lot of work to do or whatever and so four hours of sleep a night for like seven days, there's a problem. So I have melatonin for that. When I travel or when I'm uncomfortable or whatever, I'll take some melatonin. I forgot my melatonin this time so I had to go to a CVS.

There's a CVS, very class. Yeah, I went cops and melatonin. Well Dominique, put a pin in that and put that in the Google Doc, Dominique's melatonin adventure because the other reason I think David Samson is going to die soon is because joining us on Zoom is former Marlins bad boy Nick Sarand. What? Oh my god. Yeah!

Hey, what's up guys? Nick, welcome. What's going up? Welcome to the show. Thank you. That's nice. Do you remember this man, this man here in the white polo shirt waving? Hey!

How are you, man? What's happening, bud? Wow, it's been a minute. Long time no see. It's been a minute. I've said more words to you just now than I've ever said in my whole life. Yeah.

Nick, Nick, we've been talking about what happened to you. David Samson presented the story of what happened to you. And I just want to get some basic facts correct, which is that Brad Penny offered you, I believe 500 bucks was that? Yep. Yep. Brad, Brad Penny offered me 500 bucks, drink a gallon of milk in an hour.

That is correct. And you did it in 59 minutes is what we read. 57 minutes-ish and I threw up all over the place. Yep. Where did this take place in the building, just so we can paint the picture for everybody, before we get to the litigation side of this. I don't even remember, at Hard Rock Stadium or whatever you want to call it, Joe Robbie throw player. I don't even know what it's called anymore.

In the kitchen, so the kitchen was tiny. It couldn't have been any more than like a 10 by 10 little room. And I was sitting on the counter and I had to sit there the whole time. That was part of the deal. I couldn't move or do anything or go to the bathroom. I sat in the corner by the coffee machine

and drank milk for an hour. How much did you love being a Marlins bad boy, Nick? Oh, it was great. I mean, it's the every American kid's dream. You know, I mean, who wouldn't want to hang out with their idols every single day for 80 games? You know, it's awesome. And so when you barfed everywhere,

did you have any sense in that moment that your dream, the American dream was in jeopardy? Absolutely not. I was told that nothing could happen to me because I was just throwing up. I didn't kill anybody. I didn't beat anybody up. I thought I was good.

David Sampson. Killer of American dreams. I killed his American dream, Pablo. Do you think maybe it's a little much? No. No, I see where Nick is coming from. And Nick, let me ask you very bluntly then. How long have you waited for the opportunity that you have right now on this show? Probably 20 years.

I mean, David Sampson never ever actually face to face told me what I was getting suspended for. I never was called to his office. He never said anything to me. So I'd love to hear his side of the story. I've been driving to Disney World today. So I don't really know what's going on on the show. Well, it's magical place on earth. It's been happy and magical in its own right.

Hopefully David Sampson doesn't ruin that dream. I'm gonna stop him from going to Disney. Hold on, we're holding a 20 year delayed HR meeting David. And it's you and Nick and me and Dominique. It would not have been my job. It just would not have been my job to be in that room. So I feel no guilt over that. You can make me out to be the bad guy

for not talking to him to let him go, but it's quite common. Nobody's making you out to be a bad guy. You have an opportunity. Whose job is it? It's not even the GM. When you trade a player, when you trade a player, cut a player,

then you don't talk to them and say, hey, see you later. I'm sorry, but you were not a player. What? I'm not saying that you were not a player. What? I'm not saying that. You worked in the club. But that is your job. You've been something to the team.

It is your job. It is. I mean, you're the GM or whatever you want to call yourself. Yeah, yeah. I will call myself the president, and the GM would not, my guess is the GM did not meet with you. If I had a guess, it would have been

the clubhouse manager. Mike killed him. Mike killed him. Mike killed him. Absolutely not. If I had a guess, it would have been the Clubhouse manager. My kill didn't meet with me. My kill. Absolutely not. Right. My kill did not meet with me. Right. You guys were afraid to come meet with an 18 year old kid. Wow. Terrified. I don't understand why.

We were. And I don't even understand why I got suspended. Is it possible you still work for the team? Me? You never got fired. You never got fired if you were suspended. Absolutely. Absolutely. I was fired. Absolutely never got fired if you were suspended. Absolutely, absolutely. I was fired, absolutely. Oh.

100%. But they actually fired my brother who worked in the home clubhouse. What did he do? And he had nothing to do with it. Did he barf? Damn, everybody had to go. You fired the whole family, David?

I mean, come on. You let these, I mean, why did I get suspended, David? I mean, let me know. Let him know. We wanna find out the answer, David? I mean, let me know. Let him know. We wanna find out the answer, David. I do not feel it is appropriate for you in your capacity as a ball boy to be sitting for an hour drinking milk and then vomiting.

What about his brother? That's what was presented to me, and I was in favor of the suspension and firing, but if you're gonna accuse me of not doing it personally, I apologize, but I cannot possibly personally fire everyone who gets fired. There's not enough time in the day. That's all I'd be doing so Turnovers crazy So you're so you let me go or I got suspended for drinking milk. Is this really where we're at? Yep

You go or you or was I suspended for gambling? Hmm. Hmm. Remember what you said at the time. I mean, because I'd love to hear it. I mean, we can talk about this all day. Nick's only been waiting 20 fucking years, David. I hope we do talk about it all day, to be honest with you.

Sounds good. Get comfy. Can I ask a question, David? If Nick didn't barf, would he still have his job? Yes, because I probably would never have found out about it. Because there was stuff that went on with players all the time. And there was stuff that I would never,

it would never get to my desk, it would never get to the GM's desk. And you know this very well. There was stuff that would go on in the clubhouse all the time. You guys knew everything that went on in the clubhouses. We did not have a mole the way you all the time? You guys knew everything that went on in the clubhouses. We did not have a mole the way you all think we did.

We did come down often and we knew what was going on, but there's stuff that Silver or Brian Greenberg would not have known about or Rock Hughes today. There's stuff that we would not know about that goes on. Everybody knew what was going on down there. Nick, what's the craziest thing that happened in the clubhouse while you were there? Do you have a great clubhouse story?

Careful, we're live. I mean, some of them are inappropriate. Okay, nevermind. Moving on. I don't want to talk about my crazy clubhouse stories. Moving on. That's a thing for another day. I don't want to out anybody. That's not why I'm really here.

Let me ask you a question more specific though, about David, Nick. What was David S Samson's reputation in the clubhouse as you understood it? I mean, David Samson didn't really talk to us. We're peons to him. I mean, he thought he was a big shot in, you know, if I said one, six words to the guy, my whole tired career for the Marlins, that was a lot.

I mean- I think that there are many team presidents who speak constantly to visiting clubbies. Yes, there are probably many. You're right. You were not one of them. Nope. I worked for the Moralins for six years.

I worked for another team. I had a personal relationship with the team president. He would say hello to me every day. Wait, are you saying that I walked past you and ignored you? That is not accurate. I wouldn't go that far. I think it's pretty accurate.

I'm pretty sure that pretty much is accurate. Well, I hope that your memory is not ruined of the time that you served and the dream that you got to have fulfilled for when it did. I think you had a great 15 minutes that most visiting clubbies do not get when this happened. And I hope you look back at that fondly.

Listen, I appreciate it. I mean, it was a great run. Listen, I thank Brad Penny for getting me on TV. He was awesome. So does any part of you, Nick, blame Brad Penny for getting me on TV. It was awesome. There we go. So does any part of you, Nick, blame Brad Penny as well as David Sampson for the way that your time with the Marlins ended? Absolutely not.

I have no issue with Brad. Brad did nothing wrong. Can I try one question? Is it possible that you wanna thank David Sampson because you got to go on Letterman? I didn't hear that, what was that? Is it possible that you want to thank David Sampson because you got to go on David Letterman

because David Sampson fired you? I mean. Huh, hug it out? I don't know if I want to thank him, but I mean I'll thank him. You don't have to, I was just wondering. I mean, sure, why not? I mean. I love you, man. Thank you't have to, I was just wondering. I mean, sure, why not? I mean.

Oh, I love you, man. Thank you, thank you, I appreciate it. Oh, you found a picture of me. I mean, I don't know if I would've got on TV without you suspended me, but I didn't lose my job. Yeah, so and how did that lead to the downward spiral in your life? The downward spiral in my life?

Potentially, yeah. Oh, I got a job with another team that liked me a little bit more. It is what it is. Oh, so upward spiral. Did you get a World Series ring? You said you were there for six years and this happened in 2005.

Yes, I got a World Series ring in 2003. Okay. It would appear that that would be thank you worthy, but what do I know? Why'd you fire his brother? Yeah, why'd you fire my brother? I have no recollection. Yeah.

Yeah, I don't recall. You just get the whole family out because he might undermine. Let's try to get some revenge. What's your relationship with dairy, David? Maybe there was something more. It was a cinnamon bet. With who? With dairy.

Who's dairy? Dairy, like milk. Yeah, like maybe there's a lactose issue here. Maybe there was like an envy that you could drink a gallon of milk or something. Listen, we could have spun this a good way. I mean, it's not too late. We could have had a milk sponsorship or something. I mean, why not? This does bring us to a question, Nick, that I've been wanting to find out the answer to ever since we started the show, which is, is it actually possible to drink a gallon of milk in an hour

without vomiting? No. It's impossible. Yeah, I'll take your word for it. Whole milk is impossible. I've never tried the other stuff. Wait, you tried it again? You did it with, wait, hold on. You did it with whole milk.

Yeah. Yeah, I did it with whole milk. I didn't try it with 2% or 1% or any of the other things. He's a real one. No, that's the gig is whole milk. I don't know. See, the problem is, is I drank it. I didn't eat anything. So I didn't have anything in my system to soak up anything. So I don't know if that was the problem. Would you want to do it again, maybe, when you're back from Disney World?

Or, I mean- Or now? We're here all week. Sure, I'd do it again. All right. So Nick, Nick Cirillo, you're gonna come back on the show and we're gonna figure out a way. 500 bucks.

To stream this. To stream you having an hour to drink a gallon of whole milk. Well, you can do it here in the studio. You still have local? Absolutely. Wait, yeah, Nick, where are you based? I'm in Fort Lauderdale. All right, you're coming into studio.

Well, pending the lawyer's approval. Pending legal review. based? I'm in Fullerville. All right, you're coming into studio. Well, pending the lawyer's approval. Pending legal review. You're not gonna drink. And you're gonna have an hour to drink a gallon of whole milk with rewards to be decided, but involving both financial and perhaps justice-related consequences.

With David Samson. I think it'd be an amazing thing to do, but I would like to just slow Pablo down because we work at a company and it is highly unlikely that this is going to happen, so I don't want our audience. Why is it unlikely? Pablo, you did not work here during the Pepper incident. We're not doing this again.

Pending lawyers' approval. Yeah, let's sign some waivers, we got it, we good. There are not enough waivers that are written now I think it'd be amazing if you did it yourself and showed video though. We're not telling you to do it I don't think you should do that Personally and on behalf of metal arc media LLC. Wow, it is Unconscionable unreasonable and very dangerous to drink. Are you firing Nick again right now? Just unreasonable and very dangerous to drink a gallon of milk for an hour. Are you firing Nick again right now? That's just...

And you're welcome. I think he's just afraid I could do it. I think so too. I think that's what I'm hearing. You're damn right Nick, you're damn right. I don't think he wants to pay up is the problem. Mmm. I will give you the, I'll put the $500,

which I have in my bag on the table right now. Oh no, it's 520 years ago. Yeah, inflation adjusted. It's like 40,000 now. Listen, we can go do it in an undisclosed area, it's all good. Yes. You can sit there and watch me do it.

I'm not worried about it. Back alley milk drinking competition. With dice, can we throw dice too? Whoa, what does that mean? So we can do whatever. Throw dice, can we throw dice too? Oh, what does that mean? So we can do whatever. Throw dice, play cards, whatever you wanna do. We can play craps. As long as it hits the wall, we're good.

Oh, you'll be playing craps all right. You don't crap with it. You don't have time. More walls will be hit. I'm also confident. Absolutely. So Nick, at the end here, I guess, just to clarify, any hard feelings towards David?

No, no. I mean, what kind of hard feelings do I have towards the guy? Like I said, if I said more than five words to my whole life, it is what it is. You know what I mean? I don't really know him other than what I read in the media and what people say about him. So I don't really have a real judgment against him. I mean, I am a little pissed off. He ruined my baseball career Yeah, I mean I had a strong I was waiting for my ten years, you know, I could get my benefits

That is actually true. You cost him a pension David Yeah, his brother they cost me and my brother a pension. I Mean time served. It's kind of bullshit, but whatever. Now I gotta have a real job and work like a real person, I guess. For milk? The least David could do is meet Nick Cirillo

in a back alley undisclosed somewhere in South Florida so he can watch him drink a gallon of whole milk in an hour and then possibly be vomited upon. That's it, you gotta catch it. Nick, what's your favorite team? Maybe David can take you to a game. My favorite team? I'm a Yankees fan. I was born in New York. I've always been a Yankees fan. Do you want a Don Mattingly signed ball? No. You gotta up a ball. You cost him his pension. I could give you one, David. Oh! I got $500 in my bag right now.

Well, I'm just saying that we'd be, I don't actually, but we'll be able to pay up the bet. Okay. Because Brad Penny would be good for it. Yeah. And so would we. Well, he's not mad at Brad Penny. He shouldn't be mad at Brad Penny.

What color was the barf? Uh, white. That's what I thought. PTFO folks, make sure you get Populatory finds out wherever you get your podcasts. It was, I mean, I did work after I did that. I mean, I did go right to work after I threw a ball over the forehouse and it was cleaned up. Who cleaned it?

I didn't really have much choice. You know, I'm working. I gotta go to work. That's right. He had a dream to live. I'm a dream crusher. Absolutely. I went, I went, I went, picked up some bats. Did what I had to do. Cleaned some shoes. Did some laundry.

Make sure the players were happy. And entertaining. It's all good. Listen, at the end of the day, at the end of the day, all a batboy is is a jester for the clubhouse. Those players, they wanna laugh and have a good time. If you can make them laugh and have a good time, you're golden in there. He's doing your job.

They're playing for tips. Got fired for doing his job. Yes. Lost his pension and the American dream. Or the whole thing, I ruined his life? It's a miracle that he's even alive today. You should pay for a strip to Disney World. Yeah.

It's a miracle and he's alive today. Did you buy those tickets already? What was that idea? Did you buy those tickets at Disney already? David's offering to pay, potentially. I have annual pass- you want to pay for my hotel? That'd be great. Oooh. I have annual passes- I have annual passes for this. That seems reasonable. Hahaha. Are have annual passes for myself. I have annual passes for myself. That seems reasonable.

Are you at the Polynesian? No, actually I'm staying at Coronado Springs. Right now I'm on a turnpike in Port St. Lucie on Arresta. Ooh, Port St. Lucie, Yankee Spring Training Zone. I wanna end this. I'm making my way there. I wanna end this segment, Nick, with Nick Cirillo's top five, get the sound ready,

top five rides he's gonna ride at Disney World having gotten all of this off his chest after 20 years about David Sampson. Number five, Nick Cirillo, you'll be riding. Number, Dumbo. Classic. Yeah. Number four.

Haunted Mansion. That's probably a winner. That's a good one. It's scary in there. Number three. Mind Train. You have a Genie Plus for that? How are we gonna do that? You gonna get the early rope drop? Yes, I actually do have a Genie Plus for that. Awesome. It's veteran savvy.

Number two? Number two would be... Guardians. The good one, Guardians. Frozen. That'd make my daughter Frozen. My daughter loves Frozen. We haven't asked him, but I assume he's with people. Elsa?

Mm. And the number one ride Nick Cerello is going to ride at Disney World having gotten off of his chest after 20 years, all of the things he wanted to say to David Sampson, the man who fired him and killed his dream, is. And Cosmis Pension. Ratatouille.

Did you say ratatouille? Yeah. And David Sampson' top five list for reasons why he's fired people. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha.

Ha ha ha. Drive safely. Thank you, Nick. Thank you, Nick. Appreciate it. You're a hero. We'll see you in a back alley sometime soon. Absolutely.

Awesome. Thank you. Take care. You can't take care. He doesn't have a pension. Yeah. It's harder now without the pension. That was classic Not the Batman the show knew they wanted the Batman the show We needed something today The Batman the show deserved should have been the line just told me I was wrong. Yeah my guy. I like that guy

You should've gotten to know him more just say hi to you. We're journalists David. We're journalists. We find things out. Maybe you've heard and Yeah, thanks to Nick Sorrella for joining us. How uncomfortable were you at any point in there? Zero. One ten. Zero. The whole time? Ten. Oh you weren't asking me. Wait you were uncomfortable? That was a lot. Point in there. Zero, one, ten. Zero. The whole time? Ten. Oh, you weren't asking me. Wait, you were uncomfortable? Oh, that was a lot. Lucy?

Uncomfortable? But uncomfortable because he's not guest-worthy or because you're worried? Not worried. Right. No, we don't put people in hierarchies like you. It kind of felt like his pretty woman moment. Oh.

Am I Jason Alexander in that case? I don't know the movie that was His bobblehead night was very very popular the other night first 18,000 and the Yankees have been slumping the Yankees have been terrible they needed it It's been rare the worst team in baseball next to an eye Yankees the worst team in baseball since June 13th. The worst team in baseball. Little known fact there, Normie. You should get worse than the Rockies? The worst, yes, yes. You should get Nick a George Costanza bobblehead. I bet that would make it up to him.

So they only did 18,000 and the stadium holds 55,000 so people were lining up. It was a zoo. Like when the Dodgers did the Otani bobblehead and there was some violence and some bad stuff, they don't make enough and they could that's what really bothers me I have a question for you on in terms of that because I've been to games where I have not gotten a bobblehead or said giveaway Right and then you know six months later Hey, the Marlins are at you know a walkathon and there's a little table where you spin a wheel and they have the giveaway that

They allegedly ran out of and they're giving it to people who just spin a wheel and they have the giveaway that they allegedly ran out of, and they're giving it to people who just spin a wheel and it lands on that. Yeah, we keep an extra palette that we use for giveaways for people who complain. Every employee got every giveaway, so there's a palette for that. Basically, the reason why there's a limit on the number of giveaways

is based on the sponsorship dollar allocation. And so you match up how much money you're getting from the sponsor for that giveaway, what the cost of the bobblehead is, and you always order more that the team keeps. When I went to an Angels game when Ohtani was playing there, they were giving out snow globes of him, and there were so few people there

that I left with like eight Shoei Ohtani snow globes and just gave them to my friends. Wow. You could sell those in one of your junk sales. I don't know where they are now, and it's not junk. Well, isn't everything you get not junk at the junk sales? What? No, what?

I thought that when you go to junk sales. You buy as estates. Yeah, and I'm not dead, so I'm not ready for my estate sale. No, but I thought that the things you find are things that are really cool. They are really cool, so they're not junk. Yeah, Lucy is scrapbooking junk. Yeah, that's my junk journal.

Journaling junk. Yes. One man's junk also. Another man's treasure. I'm with you. So where are the snow globes now? I gave a lot to my friends. I think I have one at my dad's house,

and there's probably one packed up in my stuff, but I had a lot of Shoe-a-tonny snow globes. There were something now. Yeah. I think there were something then too. Yeah. She gave them away because she loves people. They didn't have to monetize it.

People are obsessed with giveaways. Yeah, it's pretty weird. You do season ticket packages based on giveaways. There's a whole meeting that happens when you're doing your giveaway calendar that you choose when to do it, what day of the week. It's crazy. Welfare state.

No, it's just how do you maximize the giveaway and what do we think people are gonna like? You don't think it's bizarre that people love the Seinfeld? You don't think it's bizarre that that dude wants to ride Ratatouille? Howdy folks, it's Mike. I'm headed to Chicago, get a nice old dose of summertime shy, and I've never actually been to Wrigley Field, but I'm going this week and I cannot wait.

And for anybody that wants to join me out at Wrigley Field and experience Chicago baseball and summertime shy, why don't you download the Game Time app right now? Game Time is an authorized ticket marketplace for Major League Baseball, which makes getting tickets faster and easier. Prices on Game Time actually go down the closer you get to first pitch with killer last minute deals, all in prices of views from your seat. I love those panoramic views from my seat. And their lowest price guarantee, Game Time actually takes the guesswork out of buying

Major League Baseball tickets. So do that. Join me. I'll see you out there, summertime shy. Take the guesswork out of buying MLB tickets with Game Time. Download the Game Time app. Howdy y'all, it's Mike, and since the dawn of mankind, we've cooked our food over an open flame and debated the best way to grill. One thing that is not up for debate? Grilling and beer always go together. Even I know that, and I'm not the manliest American type, but I know that if I'm grilling out there, I need a Miller Lite in my hand. Why?

Because Miller Lite keeps it simple, undebatable quality, and it tastes as great as my barbecue. It's a beer that strips away everything that I don't need and holds on to what matters most, the light beer with the most taste, less filling and only 96 calories. Nothing says summer like a Miller Lite. It's the original light beer since 1975 and a perfect companion for all grill masters

or wannabe grill masters across this great great land with a Miller Lite in your hand Grilling doesn't just taste great tastes like Miller time to get Miller Lite delivered right to your door visit Miller Lite com slash Dan Or you can find it pretty much anywhere that sells beer celebrate responsibly Miller Brewing Company, Milwaukee, Wisconsin 96 calories per 12 ounces Don LeBataard. Oh, I like firing people. So I take the opportunity to fire whenever I possibly can because I can use it as a learning experience for them and try to help them out and try to point out what they did wrong. But in this case,

the employee was enough levels below where I was that I did not do the firing, but I had it done within moments of discovery. I like firing people. It's just absurd. It's absurd. Stugats. I'm talking about people who I fire who deserve it, who have done something that actively requires me to fire them.

It is my unadulterated pleasure to do so. This is the Don LeVatarardt Show with the StuGats. So I have a CPAP machine now. God must be so attractive. Have you gotten diagnosed, Billy? So I have a CPAP machine now. God, jealous. So attractive. Have you gotten diagnosed Billy with CPAP? No, I wish. So it's pretty cool.

Do you have to travel with it? I brought it to Miami. Really? Where is it? In your room? Can you bring it down? Yeah, it's in my room. Which version?

What model you got? It's a pretty lightweight portable one. So most CPAP machines, if you're not familiar, people think about them like, oh, the Darth Vader mask. And so CPAP, by the way, stands for Continuous Positive Airway Pressure. And so you put the whole thing on, like a gas mask. This is not that, it's just a thing you put in your nose,

light straps, and what you get, and the reason it's cool, is because it's a stream of constant oxygen pumped into your body for as long as you're asleep. And after fighting this at first, I've come to really appreciate it, perhaps because I have been diagnosed with some form of sleep apnea. And so-

You did a study? Yeah, I did a sleep study. I allegedly snore Allegedly your partner said that Liz has told me for years that does she like the c-pad machine She loves nothing more than the c-pad machine It's the greatest thing that's ever happened. I just that that's how it reacts to it, but I feel great when I wake up I feel great. I'm full of oxygen. I'm oxygenated, it feels like a PED, except I fell asleep last night having not turned it on, and so I feel like shit today.

I didn't get as much sleep last night as I wanted either because I believe that my melatonin was spiked. With? I don't know. Where did you get melatonin? With uppers? I don't know, no, it didn't keep me awake. It put me to sleep, but it had me having ridiculous,

crazy dreams that I would never have. And so I bought the cheap one because I was like, all right, let's get this cheap melatonin. It's all the same, I'm on the road, I forgot my melatonin. Let me go grab some cheap melatonin. Not in Miami, they put extra. You got some bodega melatonin? I guess they traffic it into melatonin bottles now.

That's what they do. That must be how they get it here. You didn't just go to CVS? I did go to CVS. Oh, you think they're not in on the traffic? You're now saying CVS spikes the melatonin. I don't know who. Allegedly, if we don't mind.

I don't know who spiked my melatonin, but I had a ridiculous dream about one of my friends trying to kill me, and I had a ridiculous dream about one of my friends trying to kill me, and I had a sleep paralysis situation. And then I woke up to floating heads. I mean, I thought I was awake. You ever had a dream where you dreamed that you woke up? But then there were skulls floating around my room,

and I was like, oh, I'm still asleep. Eventually I woke up and I texted Charlie, like hey, Charlie, I think somebody spiked my bellatoni. What time was this text? Like 11. Oh, all this happened before 11 p.m.? Yeah. What time did you go to bed?

Like 9.30. My guy. Samson, what are you doing with the Pablo not looking hot while he's asleep thing? I just, I look hot. looking hot while he's asleep thing? I just. I look hot. Nah, while I'm asleep. Apparently David thinks you don't and that you should

and you should get rid of your machine. I think that people who use those machines, it's not attractive to the partner. I would think that it's not an invitation for middle of the night fun and games. Well, what do you do to look like a hot boy before bed? I just don't go to bed. I mean I wash up and brush my teeth,

but I think it's hilarious. Did you not think everyone that he was texting Charlie at four in the morning? I can't believe you did. At 11 p.m. all this had happened. Oh yeah, I have self respect. I don't text people at those hours unless. Hold on, two things.

Nothing is hotter than your health. Only two, okay. Number one. Number two, you guys ever have sleep paralysis? I had it last week during a nap. I get nap paralysis. Lucy? Yes, also your melatonin thing,

every time I take melatonin, I have gnarly dreams too. Last time I took it, my dream was that they sent my brother to Mars and that things went bad and they would not go get my brother. And I was like, please somebody go get Jack. And then I woke up. Jack is so cool, he will never go to Mars. It's an underrated feeling when you have like a nightmare

or a creepy dream or some scary dream. Waking up from that, underrated happiness because you really feel like it's real. I've had that dream with like the anxiety or stress before a big game. I've had the dream that I had that big game coming up and then I would wake up, it's like, I gotta worry about Randy Moss today at all.

That's nice. Let me just go talk to my microphone. I have that acceptance out of Randy Moss, it's biology. Class? It's the test. I get those dreams too. Where I get it like probably once every couple months where I'm like, I don't have enough credits to graduate.

Yeah, same. Or I have a final and I don't know if I'm gonna pass this class and what do I do if I don't graduate? The trauma we all have. We've all had those dreams. Can I admit what mine is? What?

It's Dan. It's not having things ready for highly questionable. Really? Yeah. He's his sleep paralysis demon? Yeah, I had insomnia because of Dan when I worked with him. None of us can relate. That's so real.

I like the idea that Dan is the demon at the edge of your bed. Once- And you can't- Where are my topics? Once every two months I just have a dream where Dan is sitting here hyperventilating being like, why is the clip not ready, why? I had a really weird one a couple months ago.

It was that I had drank too much milk at work and then I got fired and my pension got taken and then I woke up and was so relieved that no one would be so ridiculous. And they fired your brother. That's what fired, and my pension got taken, and then I woke up and was so relieved that no one would be so ridiculous. And they fired your brother. That's what fired me and my brother. I still don't get that part of the story. Because I drank a little too much vitamin D,

and I threw up. Mm. White. What? It's white. Why are you looking at me like that? That was a rough dream. That's a tough dream.

That was hurtful. Can you imagine that being somebody's reality? I lost an American dream that day. That's quite a dream deferred. George Washington is proud. That's the American dream. George is proud, honestly, of your actions. Yeah.

Speaking of the UK and Britain, I have an F1 minute from the British Grand Prix. We could use it because I watched every minute of the 52 laps and it was awesome. We can talk Wimbledon later, Charlie. Don't get us off track. Billy hit the music. It was a great race, I agree.

We agreed for the second time today. I wouldn't have fired that guy though. That's the conversation for a day. There you put it. It's the final race another day. There you put it. Yes. Yes. Yes.

Yes. It's the final race of an F1 Tripleheader and we're in Silverstone for the British Grand Prix. Brad Pitt's new F1 movie trailer is out and it's called F1. Mercedes is on the front rows. George Russell looks to repeat his Austrian Grand Prix win. It's lights out and away we go. The Mercedes lead the pack, but rain is on the radar.

It's starting to fall in Silverstone and Norris and Piazzar are one, two. When will the drivers come in and put on intermediates? Charles Leclerc is the test dummy. Then Verstappen and Sainz come in. Mercedes double stack Hamilton and Russell, but McL on Silverstone and Norris and Piaschre are one, two. When will the drivers come in and put on intermediates? Charlotte Claire is the test dummy. Then Verstappen and Sainz come in. Mercedes double stack Hamilton and Russell, but McLaren only brings in Norris. After Piaschre, you stop Norris, Hamilton,

Verstappen and Russell lead the race. Verstappen is struggling to hang on, and Russell has to retire. Lando is leading his home race, but the sun is shining and the drivers will need to make another stop. 13 laps to go, Lewis Hamilton puts on Sass. Verstappen puts on Hards,

and Lando Norris comes in a lap later. Which tires will he put on? He takes Sass and it's a slow stop. Lewis Hamilton has the lead. He has 12 laps to go and has his home race. So the race he's won eight times. Verstappen and Lando are hot behind him. Verstappen passes Norris and is closing the gap

on the Mercedes. Lewis Hamilton has to be perfect to finish the race in front. He's on his final lap. He hasn't won a race since 2021. He's speeding down the Hamilton straight to finish. Verstappen can't catch him. Hamilton has done it. Lewis Hamilton is back on top of the podium.

That is a great F1 moment. Spitting like Twista. That was tough. A lot happened in that race. I had to cut a lot out, guys. You got, I mean, you did great. For those, did you watch the race? Did you know there was a race yesterday?

I did know there was a race. I was flying to Miami with my CPAP machine so I missed it but I feel like I'm caught up now yeah he cried you the only thing that got did you edit out that Lewis Hamilton cried I didn't I didn't I had to edit a lot out but I didn't have that he did cry at the end because he said after the race he didn't know if he would ever win another race in Formula One after 2021 and I think a lot of fans and people who have followed F1 the last two years probably also wondered if he'd ever win another race again,

because it's been pretty tough for him since the 2021 finale when he lost to Max Verstappen. And he's been on the podium a handful of times, but winning that race, especially the British Grand Prix, he's won the most times there of any driver and the most driver to win that many times at a single track. He broke so many records yesterday. Like it was just an absolute storybook finish

and it felt like if Brad Pitt was making a movie about Formula One, like that's the script. That should be the movie because that felt like a movie. I didn't love the trailer. It looked kind of, I don't know what to expect. It could be good, I don't know. Gunther Steiner was the highlight of the trailer. As a non-

That was probably a bad sign. As a non-F1 obsessive, I don't know, a Gunther Steiner was the highlight of the trailer though. That was probably a bad sign. As a non F1 obsessive, I don't know if that did enough to convert outsiders. I was like, so the car turns. Right, the opening scene was like, everyone's car is faster on the straights, we need to make one that goes faster on the turns. And she's like, how am I supposed to make that safe and Brad

Pitt's like I never said anything about safe it does sound like they got an AI script writer it was like hey f1 is hot Brad Pitt's hot make a movie about f1 with Brad Pitt but what are we gonna call it Dominique what will we call the f1 movie starring Brad Pitt the the biggest movie about F1? That Apple is spending 200 largon. Just so we can make sure we're clear about that. Pit stop. 200,000? Million, Billy.

That's the American dream. F1. That's the name. Howdy y'all, it's Mike. And since the dawn of mankind, we've cooked our food over an open flame and debated the best way to grill. One thing that is not up for debate? Grilling and beer always go together. Even I know that, and I'm not the manliest American type, but I know that if I'm grilling

out there, I need a Miller Lite in my hand. Why? Because Miller Lite keeps its simple, undebatable quality, and it tastes as great as my barbecue. It's a beer that strips away everything that I don't need and holds on to what matters most, the light beer with the most taste. Less filling and only 96 calories. Nothing says summer like a Miller Lite.

It's the original light beer since 1975 and a perfect companion for all grill masters or wannabe grill masters across this great land. With a Miller Light in your hand, grilling doesn't just taste great, it tastes like Miller time. To get Miller Light delivered right to your door, visit MillerLight.com slash Dan, or you can find it pretty much anywhere that sells beer. Celebrate responsibly Miller Brewing Company, Milwaukee, Wisconsin, 96 calories per 12 ounces.