The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz - Hour 1: Zach Charbonnet, Baker Mayfield, and The Toilet Grid

Episode Date: December 17, 2024

We have to get to a very important pee story from yesterday. Maybe it shouldn't have been phrased that way, but here we are. If there were a grid on a toilet, which section would you aim your pee at? Then, it's time for Stugotz's Weekend Observations including dropped footballs, Jaxon Smith-Njigba, and the Top 5 Names In Sports That Make Stugotz Feel Fancy. Plus, we're back to Tony at our Holiday Toy Drive for an update AND to get Rose's factually accurate recap of "Miss Congeniality 2: Armed and Fabulous." Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

You're listening to Giraffe King's Network. For just $25, you'll get four pieces of delicious Popeye's Signature Chicken, four tasty chicken tenders, four regular-sized, and everybody's favorite, four buttermilk biscuits. Hurry up, though, like the holiday season, Popeye's $25 Fes of Family Box Deal will be over before you know it. Love that chicken with Popeyes! Hamburglar, why are you calling? Rubble, rubble. McDonald's has a new biggest burger called Big Arch, made with two 100% Canadian beef

patties, a new delicious sauce, and all the McDonald's flavors you love, and wait, you want me to help you get it? Rubble. Come on. Compared to beef burgers on McDonald's current menu at participating restaurants in Canada. This is the Don Leventor Show with the StuGuts Podcast. Today's episode is sponsored by DraftKings. Stay tuned because you'll hear more about DraftKings and all it has to offer throughout the show.

DraftKings, Stay tuned because you'll hear more about DraftKings and all it has to offer throughout the show. DraftKings, the crown is yours. I have been remiss in not telling people that Greg Cody Tuesday is not today is going to be tomorrow. Greg Cody Tuesday is going to be Wednesday tomorrow. I'm sorry for not addressing it earlier. You should be. Yeah, I've grown to expect him here on Tuesdays. They like their Cody tuesday sent to the degree that some of you didn't notice that he was gone thank you for not noticing cuz i noticed whatever he's not gone on tuesdays because he's an endless fountain of content around here he will be tomorrow for those of you who miss him uh... we will check in with tony one more time and i will tell you again

that this toy drive that we're trying to do a little bit at the last minute today with Cuban Santa Tony and tomorrow with Roy a Roy drive tomorrow stoic Santa not not gonna be a lot of joy at that one I don't think I'm not gonna feel like I mean maybe maybe maybe we can summon Santa's joyous christmas time and this road drive will escalate tomorrow at the vote uh... at the vote mall uh... but you guys do you guys all fall off the wall she has the vote on the vote on the restaurant in the dolphin mall forgive me i'm just worried today's thing

i'm talking being told that they're being told now that they're being to it that's a famously small parking lot in planning ends i've now we've got cuban santa narco drivers being told as being told but tony still there trying to keep things together and when i walked into the other studio you guys gonna have to help me here lucy jessica and billy they were all laughing at cuban santa's insecurities

yet all of them will let That's not falsehoods. Billy, Billy, Jessica, Jessica. You guys? Lucy, Lucy. I was laughing at Rose trying to replug that inflatable thing. We don't know if it's happened. We don't know the situation there. I have a lot of questions.

Look. It feels like you're trying to steal this segment away from Tony by making it Roy's top, Rose's top five. And. Roy's tomorrow. Yeah, Roy's tomorrow. At Vivo Mall, Dolphin Mall. People really miss Roy's top 10.

I get it. Farmed and fabulous. They really miss Roy's top 10. Sorry, we wrote them all. There are no more Roy's top 10s. Is Dwarf to be there? That's a good question. It seems like a package deal.

They're getting towed? What about Ice Ice Baby? So this toy drive is a bit of a gorilla outfit. Look, I want to say something real quick here, Stuguts, before we get into the sports attainment stuff that we need to be talking about. I am really grateful for the group of people who have made this startup business something

that can exist for three years when everyone's got their own hardships and it's been hard and I just threw a toy drive at them. And they're all overworked and they're tired and they would like not a whole lot of work. It'd probably be better to stumble into the holidays without more work. But now I've insisted on a toy drive out of nowhere.

So I need to support Cuban Santa, even though I don't trust him with your gift cards or your cash, and I gotta trust Stoic Roy to go to the Everglades, Stugatz. This is, you said, you made a joke in. It's Doral. Yeah, it's not the Everglades. It's not even less of a turnpike.

Stugatz made a joke yesterday that his three weeks of travel this this season Are equivalent to what Lucy has done because he went out to dolphin mall. I Mean, there's a top golf west of it. Now after that top golf, it's Everglades. Yeah, my body hurts I mean, it's been a long football season. I don't know how you feel Mike, but my body hurts We have made a lot of trips this year and the trip to the Dolphin Mall is the one that really got me. Football season ended in Syracuse for me. I still don't understand how Carvana works because there's one of those right next to Topgolf.

They make it seem like it's a car vending machine, but it's not like that. It's like more of a car pez dispenser. Really? Huh. Like I don't swipe my card and then push like A15 and then Dodge A15 and then it's quite the shock game. Dodge Ram comes down.

I'm always curious. The logistics of a Carvana. Yeah, lot to learn. Anyways, how many toys do you think we've collected? I don't know. I think this is a tough thing, and I think you will enjoy if we don't collect any. I believe the anarchist in you

would like the kids to be unhappy. I think that- It's not the kids, it's Tony. I think, well, is it Tony? Well, something is happening in the tension between everybody in Cuban Santa that makes me not get honesty about where it is that Cuban Santa's not happy how all of this is gone

because Rose stole his limelight. I didn't do that. I mean, we all saw it. We all saw it happen. We all saw it happen. The 17th time you asked her to pronounce Luigi's name, you didn't do that. I mean we all saw it happen. We all saw it happen. The 17th time you asked her to pronounce Luigi's name. Right on the line. We were dancing on the line. Look we were dancing on the line. I was getting approval from the room because nobody quite knew. Are

we doing something offensive? I don't know but it's funny. And offensive two ways. Because we've made light of like murder in the street now. We do that now. We like yeah it's just murder in the street. Hey murder is not a real thing. These aren't human beings. It's all we all live in a simulation. Luigi Man Giovanni. That's not vamp on this one. Yeah. Luigi Man Giovanni. Is Tony scaring people maybe? Why can you just take off the beard? Why is he wearing a costume? Because he's Cuban Santa. What do you mean? What do you mean why is he wearing a costume? That i don't know he's got he's in he's in performance is cuban santa

you guys know what that flanagan's is it lives on a hill it's a parking lot is a very small parking lot some people are being told we're trying to do a toy drive roses holding up the inflatables that were put there by a she ruined their property that's not us i don't know why she was even back there but it reminded me of bill at Tim Legler's house. It reminded me of Billy falling into the bushes as an eagle. Less inflatable somehow. I don't understand

what just happened. I really don't. Our toy drive has fallen into a puddle that Stugatz is saying is filled with urine. He is not, but there is another pee story that for some reason Jessica is desperate to get into. What is happening? Thank you for setting it up that way. They're not full of urine. There was a-

I have urine in me, I mean. There was a photo that was- Full of it, well I am full of it. Around the internet yesterday, it was a toilet with a grid over it. Oh my God. And the grid was numbered one through nine on the top, and A through J on the left, the Y axis, I guess.

And people were saying where they aim when they piss. And I saw this picture and I showed it to my boyfriend and I was like, everyone's like an E5, right? Like, is there anywhere else you would aim if you were aiming into the toilet? And apparently that's not the most common answer. Battle shits. If this is late at night

and I'm not trying to wake up my wife, I'm an E8 kind of guy. Yeah, there's a silencer technique and also you're not in control of how much water is in the bowl. If there is a bowl that has less water in it, you're probably gonna wanna go closer to D2 range. I just noticed there's a cat in this picture.

You can go D2, you go corners. Yeah. Depends where the water is. I live in the eight, nine zone. What? Well, in the middle, not at the top, I'm not peeing on the rim, but I'm trying to hit the side of the wall.

That is the aiming space. Why? Because it's not loud. I don't want the, pfft. Like, what are you? You want it to cascade off the side, and it limits the sound sound you can also sit Well, that's I think the women I don't think play this game

I mean correct me if I mean you guys are all like all the ladies are like j5 right? You think we pee off the front of the toilet yeah, well I guess My mistake h5 f F5, huh? No. E5. I think probably closer. Really? It depends if I'm sitting with my back to the back of the toilet or if I'm squatting facing

the toilet. What if it's a public restroom? No, then it depends too. There you go. It goes where it goes. I mean, I hover. Howdy folks, it's Mike. And guess what?

It's Miller time. I hover. Howdy folks, it's Mike. And guess what? It's Miller Time. The holiday season brings around lots of joy and also lots of family. Lots of family gatherings at your home. You're inviting people in there. You want to make sure they're happy. Why don't you make their time at your place a Miller Time?

Pass around that beautiful white can of Triple Hop's Brewed Miller Lite and watch the smiles adorn those faces. Make Miller Lite the official drink, the official beverage of your holiday get-together. You know why? Because it is a perfect beer for the holiday season. You'll take a sip, you'll look around, and you'll think immediately, yeah, I made the right call. It's got taste that you can depend on. No games, no gimmicks, just great beer for people who like beer.

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per 12 ounces. Fewer calories and carbs than premium regular beer Don LeBattard all of us who were watching college football Elevated everything the weekend was because we missed football in general so very much You didn't watch the ending of UTEP Jacksonville State. It was awesome. It's easy boom mm-hmm. Stugats. Such a lane for you. Just everything in college football is awesome.

Any single thing that happens, she gets deliriously happy about. Don't you miss viewing sports through that prism, though? I'm envious of Lucy. I wish that I could still be happy. This is the Don LeBatt Show with the StuGuts. I'm glad I did that. Weekend observations, please.

Hmm. 810 is a long night. It is time for StuGuts to share his game notes. No one in the media will tell you what happened better than my voice too. Weekend Observations, brought to you by Miller Lite. Great taste, just 96 calories, available for delivery. Dan!

People were ready to write him off. They said he was washed. They said he should just go ahead and retire. But on Sunday, Sunday, Dan, he turned back the clocks, reminding everybody why he was a four-time MVP, dropping dimes all over the field with 289 yards and three touchdowns. And even more impressively, at 41 years old, he could still scoot. Six carries for 45 yards.

The team's leading rusher. And Dan, just like that, make no mistake about it, Aaron Rodgers is back. Exciting. Hey Navy. Do it the Philadelphia Eagles, the rare twelve and two team that feels like a ticking time bomb.

I don't feel like anyone understood Navy do it in the army. Well, you know, Navy beat Army and I'm just telling the, you know, the midshipmen do it as a cadet. A lot of people think the Army is harder than the Navy, Dan. You know, you know the old joke from a few good men. We give you a ride, the Army, you know, what Jessup says, you give us a ride

when we want to go fight. That's all I'm saying. Do it in the Army. It was a play on an old classic. I'm full of urine. Let's not vamp on that one either. Jesus Christ Almighty, follow up questions. I probably need to let this one go, but every time I see Eric Crouch on the Heisman stage, it infuriates me.

He has no business being there. Same with Jason White. Business is what I was trying to say. Why is Jason White on the Heisman stage? I know why Crouch is there. Because the Miami guy split the votes. That's so bad. He had no business winning that thing.

Crouch. Very few things in sports tug at the heartstrings quite like a good Heisman trophy speech. Top five sports things that tug at the heartstrings. Number five, a good Heisman speech. Thank you. Number four, a good retirement speech. Number three, the Hawkeye wave Number two Tom Rinaldi's voice And number one Gary Anderson Smith from 38 yards to keep the Vikings out of the 98 Super Bowl That's the best team to not make a Super Bowl in the history of the NFL you agree right, right? Do you feel bad for Gary Anderson? I'm wondering, Dan, do you?

Because he was perfect that season. Perfect. Had a 38-yard field goal to put him in the Super Bowl against the Falcons. He missed it. It's a one-loss team. Talk to the heartstrings. Isn't that the reason that you and Billy say that the Lions had to lose a game? Isn't that team the reason that you guys say that?

Yes. It was heartbreaking. I mean, Chris Chandler went to the Super Bowl. See the quarterback for the Falcons. We also didn't say that. Dan Campbell said that. Yeah. Here come the senators. Can we stop saying every player is generational? You were mad about this before the show. You can't have 20 players be a once in a generation type player.

You can't. You were stomping around. You were like furious around the bacon that you were eating with your bare hands. Just stomping around about this. There's one generational player. That's it. You can't have 20 from one generation. Defeats the purpose.

Supposed to wear a glove to eat bacon? I don't get your point. That's it. You can't have 20 from one generation. It defeats the purpose. Supposed to wear a glove to eat bacon? I don't get your point. Well, I don't... I... the point... I'm sorry. I would say that most people eat bacon when walking around with a plate or a napkin or something. It's not just bacon. Do I have this wrong? I think you eat bacon with your bare hands. I mean... You walk... I kind of delight in the fact that you're walking around with bacon I think you eat bacon with your bare hands. I mean you walk I Kind of delight in the fact that you're walking around with bacon fingers that are covered in cigarette smoke, but I I I'm not even judging it. I'm not even judging it. I'm just saying I don't think most people do it that way It's more observational honestly than judgment your observations Being aggressive and going for it on Fort Dam. You know what the Bills

did to the Lions Dan? They gave them a taste of their own medicine. They really did. Dan Campbell is going to cost his team a Super Bowl. How much longer are we going to pretend to care about the NBA Cup? I'm tired of it. Billy why does that delight you so much? It's a big day today. Today's championship day in the NBA Cup. Jesus Christ enough. Yeah, today's the championship. Bucks against someone.

Oh, LeBron didn't make it, huh? No, well, he took vacation. The Bucks against somebody? Who are they playing? I think it's OKC. Oh yeah, the Thunder, that's right. Big one. Amin is joining us from Vegas

because he thinks this is an important game. He got one over on you, buddy. Jesus. Free trip to Vegas. Congratulations to the Carolina Panthers for being favored for the first time in 32 games. Also, good loss. There's nothing like screaming, free play, at your TV

when you see somebody jump off sides put it on the pole Please do you at lebatard show do you shout free play at your television when someone jumps off sides? room room The whole room does this you have to of course. He'll have had one yesterday. Yeah made the most of it 20 yards or so Dan I that 20 yards or so. Dan, I thought after Deshaun Jackson, it would never happen again. Why does it keep happening?

Why does it keep happening? Cross the goal line and then celebrate your touchdown. Would you guys watch a 30 for 30 on that? Would you guys watch a medal arc documentary on why does it happen? Jason Whitlock said, do white people ever do that? Is it ever a white person who drops the ball before the goal line?

We can turn that into a- How many touchdowns they score in? A mockumentary. We can turn this into a mockumentary, we can. Not really a representative sample. Basically counting on Cooper Cup. Mike Allstock dropping at the goal line. Quarterback sneaks.

Allstock. I mean, Jalen- Most so the white guys are scoring from like an inch out They don't have the time to drop it before the goal line because they don't have 80 yards I'm trying to think the last white guy that could you know go for 80 yards Ricky Prole. It's just cop. There's cop. No McCaffrey Well, they haven't done it. It's the two-guy sample Caffrey well, they haven't done it. It's the two-guys sample It's all I had God you didn't have anything I mean Ricky bro was a deep threat and it checks out he's definitely white Where was I I have no idea Dan, you know what the D in Detroit stands for Not defense. Oh, I thought you were going to say done or something. Something more dramatic.

They're just getting started. Eagles with a 21 play drive to ice the game. You know what that is, Dan? No, it's football. Georgia Tech quarterback, Haynes King announced he'll be back next season. That sound you just heard was Mario Chris the ball, shuddering in fear. Even though the Canes don't play Georgia Tech next season. You were quick, you were coming for that, weren't you? He's still nervous. I'm still scared, yeah.

Yeah. Mike hasn't given us the real hard break of that. You still feel it, right? Oh, he's upset. You still, like you still physically feel. That's a season you cared about. Yeah, it was a, it's a bummer for a 10 that way But I watched part of the show yesterday trying to make light of Miami season was a good season

It was a real good season. You get a cool trophy. That trophies. I hate the popular It's awesome. Yeah, it's like the biggest bowl outside of the ones that matter I understand that but like I said said don't get me started on it All right needs a better name. What's better than pops art bowl? It just needs a better one Timing is everything once I saw the new trophy for the pop-tart bowl. I declared it a must-win for Miami You hate Camping World Stadium, right? It's an awful stadium. Yeah every year. It feels like it's there Yeah, at least every other year. It's weird. The Duke's Mayo Bowl can only dream

of being the Pop Tarts Bowl. Marshall. Hold on, if I may, guys, if I can just do this, I'm sorry to interrupt the precious sacred ground that is weekend observations, always respected around here. But we as a show make fun of the Pop tarts bowl and jessica reminded us a couple of times on monday hey that's a good bowl but miami season ending against or iowa state in a bowl for pop star pop tarts

is something that's getting well the best miami season in twenty five years in the best miami offense we've ever seen made fun of for ending up in a pop tarts bowl that's a thing that's happening. The University of Miami's last game ends as Pop-Tart punctuation that people are laughing at. Because they didn't get to one of the big games they're stuck with the Pop-Tarts. You're really trying to get me started and I said don't. It's probably a must-win like you don't want to lose the Pop-Tart. I'd rather lose it. I'd rather opt out. Oh please, Mario Cristobal Alassio, I don't want to go to a bowl game. Okay.

I'd rather opt out of it. I don't know. What? What are you, Marshall? I mean. Okay, you got me started on it. My whole thing about the Pop Tart Bowl is, Jess is right when she says it is supposed to be a prestigious bowl and that it's supposed to be

the top ACC team that's not going to a CFP game. And if this was a seven win season, this was an eight win season. Look, last year it was all about the bad boy mowers, Pinstripe Bowl, all about it. You can lean into, it's a meme bowl. It's a bowl that exists for memes and the teams that are playing in it

are used as punch lines for the toasters and the pop tarts. And it's just, when you come that close to the CFP, you see the bowl game that is most active making a joke of itself on the internet, it's just kind of like a bummer. I haven't seen them using Iowa State as a punchline. It's pretty much just been Miami. You're happy with the Pop Tarts bowl.

Isn't that the one you'd want to go to? Oh, heck yeah. I mean, like, I understand Mike's sort of take of it does feel very meme-ified. I feel like I make Mike's sort of take of it does feel very memeified I feel like I make fun of the team It's too fun in the day and age where there are there's the playoff now and in the bowl games that used to be a Really big dealer now playoff games like and there are so many bowl games There are a million and ten bowl games

You kind of have to find a way to differentiate yourself and pop tarts has done that by being fun and quirky and having a live edible Mascot in a toaster. And I don't know, it's just college football. Let's have fun. We respect the Tostitos Fiesta Bowl, okay? Pop Tart doesn't get off Tostitos. It's gonna get there though. It's not the Tony the Tiger Bowl.

Just give me an old white guy in it, like a royal blue blazer, handing me a normal looking trophy and saying congratulations on your season. That's how you actually stick out these days. Everybody, you gotta dump mayo, you gotta dump potatoes, you gotta dump coffee. Like, I get it, it's all fun and games for everybody.

But it's just, if this is supposed to be one of the more prestigious ones, I've always stopped making fun of the teams that are in it. I think that all the bowl should have a fun little element. Iowa is playing in the Music City Bowl in Nashville, and I think whoever wins that game should get to throw a chair off a bar like Morgan Wallen did. And that should be the trophy.

Just spitballing. Lucy, I believe that we should get you all access to the Pop Tart Bowl. Like, if they're in on the joke, you should be the media renegade who is selling Pop Tart Bowl to the country because of how fun the Pop Tart Bowl seems to you. I would go if you paid for it, I would go.

And like, it's fun, I don't have a problem with it. I think if my team were in it, I would still enjoy it quite a bit, but I think it's fun. Let's do it. Iowa State's in it, so Lucy might be rooting for Miami. I actually kinda like Iowa State. Oh no. Whoa.

This is our, look, they're super nice fans, first 10-win season ever. This is actually a very, like, I're super nice fans. First 10 win season ever. This is actually a very like, I know it's a bummer for Mike, but this is a huge deal for Iowa State. It's a huge deal for them and their fans are gonna travel really well. I think I'm excited for them. Is there also a mystery pop tart to be revealed?

There is. There is, yes. I'm with Mike though, I don't like gimmicky bowls, you know? Give me the Gator bowl, give me the cotton bowl, give me a Rose bowl, give me an orange bowl. I'm good with the gimmicky ones for like bad teams. For like teams that are just eligible. You know, give me the Gator Bowl, give me the Cotton Bowl, give me a Rose Bowl, give me an Orange Bowl. I mean. I'm good with the gimmicky ones for like bad teams. For like teams that are just eligible. But when-

You wanna make the Orange Bowl, you gotta go to the playoff. No, I understand that. And that's a sick bar, dude. Give me a Gator Bowl. I mean. And the Rose Bowl has a parade. It's about football and Pop Tarts.

Shes, I'm jealous, I'm jealous. Other teams get to go to a normal like holiday bowl. Give me that. Why? The whole thing is like go into a normal like holiday bowl. Give me that Their whole thing is like are they still culligan? Give me that. What about the wasabi Fenway bowl? That one seems fine. Yeah, two college basketball programs playing in a baseball stadium. That's what I like You can't spell Jamis Winston without the INTs Yankees forcing Devin Williams to shave his beard. There's not a T in Jamis. What do you mean?

You can't spell Jamis Winston without the INTs. Oh, okay. I'm sorry. My bad. There's no T in Winston. How dare you? Are these your observations or mine? I'm so sorry. So sorry. That's okay. Yankees forcing Devin Williams to shave his head. Hey, Yankees, why don't you worry about winning a World

Series and not about facial hair? Taylor. The Jets were 0 and 5 against Mac Jones. You know what that means, right, Dan? Had their number. It means they were due. I hate them. Jets, awful win.

Also, I want Aaron to come back. I hate them. The Jets lose must also. I want Aaron to come back I hate them the Jets lose must win games and win must lose games I hate them and Devante I'd like him to come back as well. I hate them I feel fancy every time I say the name Zack Charbonneau Put it on the pole, please that lebatard showed you say right Charbonneur Charbonneur. it on the pole please at Levitard show juice a right Charbonneau Charbonneau that's right do you or Charbonneau I was thinking of geek carbon up that's who I was thinking of how would you like me to phrase

Charbonneau on the pole at Levitard show do you feel fancy when you say the name. Charbonne. Top five names in sports that when I say them they make me feel fancy. Oli. David Benoit. A lot of people think it's Benoit. It's not. It's Benoit. Yeah. David Benoit would be weird. Yeah. Well, not weird, but just not as fancy. Right. Number five, Guy Carboneau. Number four, Jesper Parnovic. Fancy Schmancy. Number three, Zach Charbonnet. Number two, Bryson DeChambeau

And number one Rodrique Boubois No idea if I said any of those correctly I feel fancy No idea if I said any of those correctly I feel fancy Rodrique I think it is whoo-bwa Baker Mayfield goods Gino Smith the rear quarterback that is more likely to throw an interception in the red zone than a touchdown Dan last week, I said you couldn't do better

than Tommy DeVito for tanking. I was wrong because the Giants put in Tim Boyle. The T in Tim Boyle stands for tanking. As long as Mike Evans is playing football, he'll be open. He's so good. First ballot Hall of Famer. Brandon

Aubrey attempting a 70 yard field goal. Ambitious. Sam Howell can sling it. Sometimes to the other team but sling it nonetheless. You agree? Uh yeah. Yeah and he gets sacked a lot and yeah, I left out Taylor death Taxes and Lewis Riddick popping up as a GM candidate

every year the Jets down Lewis Riddick hmm He's never gonna get one really. Why are you doing that? I mean, he's been up for five Okay, and he doesn't get him I mean, but you really okay, he's up for a job and the next season what I do is I see him standing next to Steve Levy calling again. I mean, that's what I do. I Would like him to get one. He's always the bridesmaid. Oh No, he is it's not fair to Lewis Riddick. It's often with shoes and who you've said is your dear friend. I love Bob.

You guys still have that chat going on? Oh yeah, still on fire after last night. Clay Thompson. Revenge game. Jackson Smith and Jigba. Dangerous name to say. I was nervous just approaching it. Because of the X and Jackson of course we're gonna my Kyle Tucker traded to the Cubs

Dan the stove is heating up Taylor Congratulations to the Jets for getting their first ever victory Against Mac Jones. I hate them. Mac Jones has a 19 and 30 record for his career. He's five and one against the Jets, 14 and 29 against everyone else. I hate them.

If Mac Jones only played against the Jets, he'd be a first ballot Hall of Famer. Indianapolis Colts, the rare trick play, that trick no one. Dan, you know what Dan Campbell gets to do? Hit the reset button. When Dan Campbell was humbling his team, he's got you right where he wants you. Mike Lombardi strolling into a kid's house and saying, hey, you ever heard of Brady?

collision course He's gonna do that right. That's his recruiting pitch a new report on the Joe burrow home break-in Apparently the robbers tried to enter via the Super Bowl window, but it was closing too quickly I No, but it was closing too quickly. I hope the Jets told Belichick no via napkin. Lions Bills, Steelers Eagles, First Half, Split Screen, Football Heaven. Dan, if you decide to get a blizzard from Dairy Queen, what you've decided is that you are okay spending the next 12 hours in hell. Speaking of hell, Arp Riles, Dan, those are the weekend observations.

You're basically saying of the blizzard, one of the great delights in dessert anywhere in the history of sugar. You're saying that the lactose situation on that, if you have that at night, it's not going to be a resting situation. You're going to get the gurgling stomach for the rest of the evening. That's what your legend. The rest of the evening, it goes into the next day, perhaps an entire day, but you know what you're getting. I mean, it's delicious going in.

But is that true for everybody? Or do you might, maybe you have a specific lactose intolerance here? Like, I don't think that's true for everybody, is it? I'm just saying I eat a Blizzard, then I go to E6 on Jess's toilet chart. I mean... I mean... Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Ah, that's so gross! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha It'd be like A1. It could go anywhere. I'm actually crying. Why 9?

Why is there a cat in this picture? What do you think that cat thought he was doing? Why are you taking a picture of your toilet and your cat is looking at you like, why are you doing this? That cat had the waves. You guys have a blizzard, I'll tell you that right now. D4. Pregnance? Pregnance? of the year. Simply Safe is a new way to protect your home that stops intruders before they break into your home. Old school systems only take action once someone is already inside your home. That's too late. Simply Safe's active

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your piece of mind protected with SimpliSafe. There's no safe like SimpliSafe. Howdy, it's Mike. Wanna talk to you about Game Time. For my money, the very best secondary ticket marketplace app there is on the market. And trust me, I've been around the block a few times when it comes to this and I always come back to Game Time. Plenty of reasons why. Let me detail them for you. All in pricing, panoramic seat views, the lowest price guarantee, Game Time will credit you 110% of the difference if you dare find a better deal out there, and their unparalleled Game Time ticket coverage has your purchase covered with the most flexible customer service policy in the ticketing industry. And also, they have this brand new wonderful feature called Game Time Picks that makes

getting tickets to see your favorite teams play live even easier. Game Time Picks filters out the fluff to show you only incredible deals on grade seats so you don't have to waste time searching through thousands of tickets. With Game Time Picks, it helps to make curation easier to save more on sports, concerts, comedy, theater, and more. Take the guesswork out of buying tickets with Game Time Picks. Download the Game Time app, create an account, and use code DAN for $20 off your first purchase. Terms apply. Again, create an account and redeem code D-A-N for $20 off. Download Game Time today. What time is it? Game Time.

Dan LeBretard! So like there was a time that, and I'll tell you who this person is, that I admired, and I said, that'd be a great career for me. Ryan Seacrest. And then to take it a step further, just a couple of weeks ago, James Corden was stepping down and he said, you know who'd be a great replacement for him? Me, I could do that. I could replace James Corden, right? I actually agree with you on that!

If I don't have to move to LA and I could just do this somewhere near the Tamiami area, like they have an old, you know, theater that's kind of abandoned right now, maybe we do something there. I mean, people like to come to Miami, right? You turned the abandoned Kmart into your late late show studio? Yes! I didn't even think about that! Wow! That's a theater right there! This is the Don LeBattar Show with the Stugats. There were two things in Stugats' weekend observations that I thought were worth revisiting. One was that play in Colts Broncos because everybody is so safe with the football now that when something like that happens in professional football,

you have to understand what these people are doing, right? Like they're super precise military complexes trying to march down the field carefully protecting the football. The Packers have a meeting about the football every week. Every Thursday, they get together, the Packers get together, and like, who turned the football over? It's a meeting about just the football. Makes sense.

They bring the football, they talk about the football, you can't, and then you watch, oh, look, the Colts season sense. They bring the football, they talk about the football, you can't... and then you watch, oh look, the Colts season, they're in the mix, they're right there, Broncos, I don't believe in them, but oh, where's this game going to turn? Jonathan Taylor is going to just flip the ball at the goal line and also, oh shit, right after that, look what happened. The Colts are playing flea flicker ball and the perfect play goes in the other direction. The dream for any kid playing football in the history of defensive football since the beginning of time happens it just lays out for Benito's. And he runs 60 yards with the football. But the other conversation that I wanted to have, where are we on the goods and Baker Mayfield? Because this has been an argument for 10 years

between Mike Ryan and Stan Van Gundy. It's been one of the great arguments around here that we've ever had. I think Mike wins. Well, but Baker Mayfield's gonna throw you occasional interceptions, but we cannot dispute that Baker Mayfield is very good at quarterback, correct? Like...

Exceptional at quarterback. I don't know if it's exceptional. No, it is. But it's good enough for goods? Good enough for goods? He's got the goods. He's got the goods. He's proven worthy of that contract.

He's a good player. Is he ever going to be confused with the best in the sport? No, but can you win with him? Absolutely. I hope they do, because it'd be a really great story for him. This guy was playing defensive end on scout team for the Carolina Panthers. Crazy.

And in Baker versus the Browns, like unequivocally, he won that one. No doubt. No doubt. This guy's big sin was to play through an injury and maybe could have been a little bit more professional about his time over there, but they shoved him out the door and replaced him with Deshaun Watson. And for a team that was struggling for 20 plus years to find a quarterback, for them to have one, for them to have one. For them to have one who was runner up and AP offensive rookie of the year, said all sorts of passing records as a rookie,

won a wild card game at Pittsburgh, made Ben Roethlisberger all sad. Like that's the stuff that you were dying for as a Browns fan and you couldn't wait to push him out the door. Dan, he's been so good. 3,600 yards, completion percentage is 70%. Two quarterbacks have a higher completion percentage.

Golf and Tua. All right, so if I may, just for a moment, because I know this stuff happened super fast in that sport, just real quick grabbing great college player, putting him in the pros, and then putting him through the furnace of, we're going to slice this up real quick. You better be value at quarterback or you

can break up our defense so you got about three years to figure this out and these rookies better figure out faster than faster and bryce young you get in the bench fast and the richardson you got about five seconds over here let's hurry it up baker goes into the furnace of all of that and was this far from having his career basically be over before he resuscitated on monday night cuz mcveigh at the end of the season is saying all right we'll try this for a

minute or two hours after he flew into town and now he's gonna get now we're looking at it wait a minute that's better than sam darnold money and that's a sentence i just said that's a sentence i'd just said that lands so harshly to carolina panthers fans as both of them excel. But, but can we now step back for a minute and just say, hey, it might take a minute to be the guy who can go 20 for 30 and there might be some blemishes.

Baker's going to play it away. You might get three turnovers in a playoff game and you can't be too surprised. Oh, we need to slow down what we're doing with quarterbacks. Dan, when we were growing up, you would have guys sit behind the starter for three or four years. Geno Smith is a great example. No, what I'm saying is- He left the Jets a decade ago.

I would just ask you to step back from all of it, no matter how much we make the finances of it, the important part of the early part of the career, and just know what you're throwing all these people into the maw of, because it's gotten faster and crueler about how it disposes people in that backfield when you can replace the running back salary with Josh Allen, because he runs and throws, when you can be what the Ravens are because you figured out the finances of your backfield.

I've asked people on the no, independent of the injury, which is, I think, a huge part of this, which made him play worse, which if he's not playing worse, then you don't open the door to him leaving. But by all accounts it seemed as though Baker's time at Cleveland was at an end. Like there were there were divisions in the locker room he had worn out his welcome he was at a different point in his career. But you could make a quick evaluation on Baker Mayfield in retrospect he was really good as a rookie he wasn't as good when he had Freddie Kitchens one of the worst

head coaches of all time as his head coach in that second year. Really good his third year, wins a playoff game, and then his fourth year he battles through multiple bad injuries and tries to tough it out, which affects his performance. You could look at the first four years of his career and say, I can explain why he's bad and I'm pretty confident this guy is good. That's what I kept saying as it was happening. I did not want Deshaun Watson. I wanted to keep Baker. I was team Baker all the way. I didn't want to replace him.

While other people were saying this team is just a quarterback away, no, they're just a healthy Baker Mayfield away. That's interesting. You saw enough in the first four years where you're like, there's something there. If we just stick with this guy, there's something there. I had a quarterback that was drafting number one, winning Pittsburgh in the playoffs.

Mike, you're right. Because you can make the argument his third season was his best season, even better than this season. Let's see if we can get Stan Van Gundy on the line to concede this would be a holiday treat. Two people who never admit they're wrong, Stan Van Gundy and Mike Ryan having to go back and revisit, did or does Baker have the goods, yes or no? Because it's been an age old argument around here.

I'd like to settle some of these one day. My guess is Stan knowing Stan the way I do knowing the type of player that he likes he's gonna concede this to Mike because he likes Baker. All right let's see if we can get Stan Van Gundy on the line but let's go back out to Flanagan's here for the final time today and I will ask the audience we're trying to do an old-time radio remote type of thing where we send somebody out locally and you bring them toys tony is at flanagan's today in the next couple of days we're gonna be at the vote at dolphin mall uh... before we go out to a mean who is stealing the company's money in vegas

let's go out here to tony uh... at flanagan's uh... the legendary flanagan there actual toys behind them that's right that's well one whenever we ask our audience for anything they they always do this and we didn't give them much notice. So now we're giving you notice on the next couple of days and Roy will be joyless somewhere in the Everglades in the coming days. But Tony, what is going on on there? Give us a last report. I'm mortified to tell you that the group has learned that there were some insecurities involved in Rose and how well she did during your segment.

Thanks Dan for coming out. We're going to be here until about noon. So a couple more minutes here just hanging out at 2721 Bird Avenue, the Flanagan's here in Coconut Grove as you can see. Toys have been dropped off. We've got a beautiful Woody. We've got some trucks. We've got some lip balms over here.

We got a football for football guys. Excuse me. We've got a trucks, we've got some lip balms over here, we've got a football, for football guys, pfft, pfft, pfft, excuse me. Um, we've got a Nerf gun, we've got amazing Spider-Man Uno, uh, people have come through and brought some amazing gifts. I've had to transition from Santa with the mustache to a more Dagestani Santa with the no mustache look because of the, the mustache was starting to get twirled and I couldn't speak without getting hair on my mouth. Very amateur Santa move, Cuban Santa. We are asking again for new and unwrapped toys for the charity Branches. Branchesfl.org if you're outside of Miami. Tony, what has been the peril? I'm sure you've met.

Anytime we ask listeners for help, they do moving things. We're asking for building toys, Legos, jewelry, craft kits, educational toys, action figures, play food, tea sets, board games, Nerf toys, remote control cars. It's a really nice thing to think of this time of year. Just basically one kid who might not have somebody think that a lonely kid might be getting something that somebody's thinking about them.

So Tony, what are you finding? Their cash is not good, Tony. No, no, are you finding there? Cash is not good, Tony. No, no, people, we cannot give him. No, Tony. No. Dan, yeah, no. I will update you on this, Dan. We've had people bring a lot of stuff, as you can see.

We're very happy with that. One thing to report is that it did start raining and the sun is out now, so it's making it very steamy. so that's one thing to report that's gonna be a tougher for Cuban Santa to keep on his shirt and his and his beard because you know how it is when it gets steamy on you just trying to take your shirt off is this what's happening right now you're gonna know I want to take the beard off take it off Tony this is uncomfortable you keep doing this.

This is not okay. But this told I'm just trying to help. You don't want to be sweaty. I'm wearing shorts. I'm wearing shorts. Okay. So is Rose still there? Yeah. Rose is here. All right. Can I, can I get Rose real quick? Can I get Rose to just get in front here? And I just want to ask her one more time. Of course. I want to see if I can tickle Lucy here because nothing makes Lucy more, Lucy this is the funniest person in the world to you. You're the one that keeps pushing this Rose thing and you keep saying Lucy, I think you're the biggest Rose guy here. Yeah, yeah.

Say the name please, try to say the name again. Luigi Mignone. Does Tony want to say it now too? Luigi Mignone. Luigi Mignone. Nailed it. That's close. Yeah. Rose. Luigi Mignone. and yoni nailed it that's close Rose what Rose what did Mike Ryan get wrong

in his recap of Miss Congeniality 2 oh there is no beauty pageant and Sandra Bull comes back and she's in the FBI and she's the face because now she's famous and then they kidnapped her best friend what by accident because she was not to be the one to be kidnapped so she goes face because now she's famous and then they kidnapped her best friend by accident because she was not to be the one to be kidnapped so she goes to Vegas to to rescue her. What's in Vegas? What's in Vegas? What's in Vegas? She was dressed like a

showgirl right now like a pageant I think that's the mistake we made. But what's going on? Is there a show in Vegas? Is there a show in Vegas that she goes to? Yeah, there's a show that she dresses up and then- She dresses up at a show in Vegas. Yeah, because she had a big thing here. Kind of feels a little formulaic, if you ask me, Rose. Also feels like Vegas. Feels like a pageant, too.

Is she at the Emirates Cup? But then there's a pageant. I mean, it's a competition, it's a show, it's in Vegas. It feels a lot like a pageant. No, because she was there because she needed to have information from a fake Dolly. Who is fake Dolly? Who is fake Dolly?

You tell me. You just said it. You just said it, You just said it. Salvador Dali, Dolly Parton. Oh, Dolly Parton, sorry. Yeah, you can see how I'm confused. Rose, what is the song you like to sing from Wicked? Either Defy Gravity or Popular. Alright, let's hear it. Sing Popular. Yeah.

Popular, you're. Sing popular. Yeah. Popular. You're gonna be popular. Alright. What? She's got a beautiful voice. We've faded her down, we listen to Jeremy all day. Why did we fade that down? What is this?

This is a crime against humanity. Commercial music, I mean we're getting in trouble. Oh please. They're not watching us like you two. You just ruined the moment. I've heard her sing it like five or six times. They can't sue us, it's a toy drive. Back up Chris's judgment here.

Do you want to go to it again? Howdy folks, it's Mike. And guess what? It's Miller time. The holiday season brings around lots of joy and also lots of family, lots of family gatherings at your home, you're inviting people in there,

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look around, and you'll think immediately, yeah I made the right call. It's got taste that you can depend on. No games, no gimmicks, just great beer for people who like beer. Making memories at year-end gatherings? Tastes like Miller time! Go to MillerLight.com slash Dan to find delivery options near you, or you can pick up some Miller Lite pretty much anywhere they sell beer. Celebrate responsibly Miller Brewing Company, Milwaukee, Wisconsin, 96 calories and 3.2 carbs per 12 ounces. Fewer calories and carbs than premium regular beer. Howdy, it's Mike. I want to talk to you about Game Time. for my money, the very best secondary ticket marketplace app there is on the market and trust me, I've been around the block

a few times when it comes to this and I always come back to Game Time, plenty of reasons why, let me detail them for you. All in pricing, panoramic seat views, the lowest price guaranteed, Game Time will credit you 110% of the difference if you dare find a better deal out there. And their unparalleled game time ticket coverage has your purchase covered with the most flexible customer service policy in the ticketing industry. And also they have this brand new wonderful feature called game time picks that makes getting tickets to see your favorite teams play live even easier. Game time picks filters out the fluff to show you only incredible deals on great seats so you don't

have to waste time searching through thousands of tickets. With Game Time Picks, it helps to make curation easier to save more on sports, concerts, comedy, theater, and more. Take the guesswork out of buying tickets with Game Time Picks. Download the Game Time app, create an account, and use code DAN for $20 off your first purchase. Terms apply. Again, create an account and redeem code D-A-N for $20 off. Download Game Time today. What time is it? Game Time.