The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz - Hour 2: A Very Demure Hour

Episode Date: August 22, 2024

Tom Cruise, Transformers and G.I. Joe, Chuck Norris as a dummy, and the new FS1 lineup kick off our Hour 2. Then, it's time for Thursday Thunder created by JuJu and delivered by Tony, Amin has a beef with pitching machines, and the crew discusses the saddest things they've ever paid a handyman to do. Plus, Miami Mike McDaniel takes the internet by storm, Dan introduces Valerie to the aura of Jeff Fisher, and a celebration of Joey Votto. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

You're listening to Giraffe King's Network. This is the Don LeVittor Show with the Stoogats Podcast. They're making another Karate Kid sequel to the one that he did like 10 years ago with Jaden Smith. No. Yeah 2025 it's a post production. Did I read correctly on the internet that it's supposed to tie in all the karate kid versions? Yes it's going to it's the multiverse coming together everybody. Take away too much of that. Miyagi-Do. Including Cobra Kai from Netflix? Yes everybody. They're all coming out well other than Mr. Miyagi at rest in peace but everybody else is coming back. Oh man Mike sounds disappointed

What I'm just multi versus I'm just done. Well, this is this is one that needs to happen I'm all for I don't like multi versus just for the sake of multi versus. I like it when we're merging We're merging universes here. So they're all seeing canon. That's what we need here Is there one above all others that would excite you more than the others? Because I'm surprised by this Karate Kid reaction from you that you want all of these things tied together when the most recent entries into this haven't been very good. It's certainly not as memorable as the first. You know what they're tying together? It's an upcoming movie. It's in active development, greenlit. G.I. Joe with Transformers.

Whoa, the crossover. I read those comics in like 1987 where there's a crossover between G.I. Joe and Transformers. Unfortunately, we've got, I think, one good Transformers movie, The Michael Bay Lot, the first one with Shia LaBeouf and Megan Fox. But we've never gotten a good G.I. Joe movie. And I would say to Hollywood,

before you cross those two over, you gotta give me one good G.I. Joe movie. And I would say to Hollywood, before you cross those two over, you got to give me one good G.I. Joe movie, because G.I. Joe has all the makings of a great franchise if you just gave a shit about the writing and not just explosions and CGI. How about G.I. Joe, Transformers, and Robert De Niro, a thick Robert De Niro falling, plummeting for several stories

in what is the few rigors before final rigor mortis. Hear me out here. It's a dystopian future. Sergeant Slaughter's 81 years old. Stolen Valor. What? Yeah, he never actually served.

Never served. And he went around like pretending that he did. Wait. Wow. Sergeant Slaughter from G.I. Joe wasn't actually a sergeant? No. Was his name Slaughter? GI Joe wasn't actually a sergeant? No. Was his name Slaughter? In real life? Yeah.

It couldn't have been. I don't think so. It's not Warren Sharp and it's not Sergeant Slaughter. What? Yeah, but he was from an era of wrestling where they kept kayfabe and he just like kept pretending he had served. Like people would say thank you for your service and he'd be like, anytime young man. Dude, how do you, look, are we penalizing people

for being in character? I'm sorry, for committing to the art form, the thespianism? I don't think that that's what he was doing. I kind of feel like it was. Look, if Daniel Day-Lewis did it, you'd be jerking off all over yourself. Oh, come on. Yeah, I would be.

Aggressive description. I mean, what is that? I'm just saying. No, you're just saying what? That's me. Daniel Day-Lewis does something. I see that photo of Daniel Day-Lewis looking like Lincoln before he's about to

start filming Lincoln, and you know what I do? I mean, I jerk off all over myself. That's what I do. Lincoln, who you outed the other day? Don't make this a rejoin, because context needs to be applied. I'm clearly being sarcastic. Ethan, get on it. I only do that when Tom Cruise is preparing. Oh man, Tom Cruise. Let's talk about Tom Cruise. I can't get enough of Tom Cruise talk. It's amazing. Did you know that he's only made one other than the Mission Impossible movies, he's only made one sequel in his entire career.

Every single one of these great movies he delivers us outside the the Mission Impossible movies, he's only made one sequel in his entire career. Every single one of these great movies he delivers us outside the great Mission Impossible movies are one-offs. Top Gun is the only sequel he's ever done? I believe so. Is that right? That's the only sequel. That can't be right. That simply can't be right.

Mission Impossible, all of the Mission Impossible. Wow. The Jack Reacher was just one time? No, Jack Reacher had sequels. Yeah, that was the Jack Reacher. Wow. And when you do seven sequels for one franchise, it's like, what are we playing with? You got your myth boss. Okay, hold on. We've got a major penalty. Five minutes derailing. I could talk about Tom Cruise for hours. Let me give you this amazing fact that's immediately disproven by Jack Reacher. I can talk for hours about Tom Cruise. Let me regal you with tails.

Regale. That's a fine. Ha ha! Don't clue with your drawstrings. Major penalty, five minutes for stumbling The only way I'm in for the GI Joe Transformers crossover if somebody's disavowed by the US government is somebody going to be disavowed By the US government what's got to be GI Joe, right? That's that's that's the GI Joe movie, right? The GI Joe movie is that GI Joe? There's some government agency that's like you're work spending how much on these guys these guys just mercenaries And then they cut them loose, but then Cobra Cobra teams up with the Decepticons and everyone realized

They get the tesseract and they get the tesseract and the only way we can save the world is If GI Joe comes in meanwhile optimist,us Prime, maybe Optimus Prime is on. Is it the All Spark in Transformers? Oh, it's the Matrix. They had to change the name, but it was called the Matrix. Remember when Optimus Prime died, and they took it out of his chest and they gave it the hot rod, he became Rodimus Prime?

And then they played that great song. You got the touch, bam, bam, bam. You got the power. And then all of a sudden, like, the Autobots just go rolled out. And then they thought they killed Megatron, but then this planet, Unicron, right? It's a planet that eats other planets, finds the bloodied and beaten, well, not bloodied because of Robb, what? Megatron floating in space because Starscream sold him out.

He's like, yo, this guy's not a worthy leader. So they cast him aside. He was in space. He's going to die. And Unicron came up and said, I'm going to make you even better. He turned him into Galvatron. Megatron, if you remember, was just a gun.

He turned into a gun. Calvin Johnson, yeah. Yeah. Galvatron turned into a cannon, dude. A laser ion cannon. And then he came back. These universes need to get more ambitious if they're going to shoot for these crossovers.

I just don't understand why they don't just follow the source material. The source material's there. We don't need to be cute about any of this. You know what I would really pop for? Is just like, all right, this is a Transformers movie, but it's in Aaron Brockovich's universe. Oh my God.

Julia Roberts is back as Aaron Brockovich. I love that idea. Yeah, and she's just there. Now you gotta deal with, like, yeah, you thought that that town's water supply was bad. Now guess what? Decepticons. The water supply is getting worse again,

and everyone's like, it's the big bad industrial company. Like, no, it's not us, we swear. Turns out it is the Decepticons. They've been doing this, they're poisoning the town's water supply, and now, who's gotta come in to save the day? None other than Ethan Hunt, who's been disavowed by the company.

Oh, thank God. Do you think Ethan's age, the character, not Tom, do you think at any point they start referencing this agent's getting up there? I think when Tom can't do the stunts as well anymore. Because he's starting to, his face is changing. His face definitely has signs of aging, but man, his hair, his hair is incredible and

he's still jumping and running like a 30 year old. He looks fluid. He's got a great gait. Yeah. Like that's the thing everyone's talking about, HGH. Look, HGH don't do that, man. Oh no, it's doing something. No, it don't do that.

He's doing something. It don't do that. I would love to know his diet. Do you think he just like doesn't drink? Like what do you, what is going on? Is he like Mark Wahlberg? Like he, he, he. Up at like four in the like Mark Wohlberg like he up at like four in the morning works out three times. Have you ever seen that that IG real the tick

tock like my 24 hours is three days. Yeah. My first day six hours you give me three of you stack three of those. I'm kick your butt. Second day to 12 to six, yeah, I'm ahead of the game. You sack that over, I'm gonna kick your ass. I haven't seen it, but it is. It's great, it's great, I've seen it, it's great. You guys have been making fun of me because I'm always talking about how many, just the great proliferation of over 50 action stars,

Liam Neeson, hell, Bob Odenkirk with a wink did an action movie as sort of just a tribute to how absurd it is that we continue to make these old people still Hollywood action stars, but we were talking about Chuck Norris earlier in the show. You're talking about superimposing him on a green screen. You have no proof that Chuck Norris is actually on the set during this movie, correct, from what it is that you've seen what's going to Hulu?

I hope we have the still image of the group shot that they have in this film. That it's very clearly a dummy that is in place of Chuck Norris. They didn't get Chuck Norris or he just, he didn't want to fly into the set that day. And every single solo shot of Chuck Norris in the film is very clearly, according to reports,

him in front of a green screen. And for group shots, they only shoot from the back. It's very clearly a dummy. It's not like a mannequin, not an idiot. The reason why is because he's so decrepit at this point. He can't be moving around too much? I just don't think, yeah, I'll take that money, but I don't wanna go anywhere.

You think, who do you think falls into the ocean better at that age, Chuck Norris or Robert De Niro? Well, do we have the video of Chuck Norris lifting weights? Because I would venture to say it's easily Chuck Norris. But I think they both fall like something that is cement soaked. Like a mannequin. Push a mannequin over and that's what it looks like. Just, ah!

Was that really Robert De Niro? Do we know that? It could have been just a stunt dummy. But when they mention Greg Cody, Greg Cody has a similar thickness to him. This is not a frail 80-year-old De Niro. Brian Dennehy barrel chest type of thing. That is like an old timer.

Who's your favorite barrel chest? I like Don Nelson. Don Nelson's great. You know he has a house made of hemp? I mean, he is somebody who is very famously a marijuana advocate, but no. Put it on the poll, please, Juju. Did you know that Don Nelson, senior,

had a house made of hemp? Because I don't think that's common knowledge. But he also had, I don't know whether I'd go barrel chested with Don Nelson, because it was mostly gin belly. Yes. It was aggressive gin belly. Can you explain the difference?

Well, the chest had fallen into the belly region, so there's a thickness there, but it's just his titties are sitting on the shelf that is his belly. He said titties, and it like shocked me a little bit. I wasn't quite prepared his titties are sitting on the shelf that is his belly. He said titties. It just shocked me a little bit. I wasn't quite prepared for titties. In that case, then my favorite barrel chest is that man right there.

Chris Cody, last seen drawing his strings in an interview with his face too close to a tongue of Iloa. It is a barrel chest. It is a nipple. And those nipples were in cahoots, clearly, with Roger Goodell, Tua, the Dolphins, and the NFL to crush the minority candidacy of Brian Flores for future employment.

He's a member of the GBF, no, he's 1440 boys. Yeah, 1440 boys. That's the crime family, the syndicate. Get a new selfie, though, so's a 1440 boys. Yeah, 1440 boys. That's the crime family syndicate. Get a new selfie though, so that we can put it up there with the nips. Can you guys please tell me, Mike Ryan was reading to me the new Fox lineup here, and I don't know the curiosity, so I will ask the group.

I know many of you have objected to me talking about the Fox media. Gut-feeled over-media. But I find it interesting that Skip Bayless is rather quietly, not enough was made of this. I mean, you spend eight years at a network and you don't get a goodbye show? I don't think he wanted one. I think he would have, I think I'm entitled to one.

Do you think Skip Bayless had heartfelt words to say in his goodbye? Huh, the guy's probably, his goodbye would have been like, Brawny James is gonna be better than LeBron because LeBron wasn't that good to begin with. Okay, so, but we've talked before about his existence being fundamentally eat chicken and broccoli every day, work out a couple times a day,

and do sports, debate, television. It's his whole life. He's even said, Ernestine understands that she takes second place to how career-driven he is. He's even said, Ernestine understands that she takes second place to how career driven he is. He's married? Yes. Yeah. And, and he, he is obsessed with this thing. Married to the game. That, that he now tries to evolve in his seventies and

Fox is moving on from him and what's their lineup going to look like? I have, many of you think that I am bitter about sports television. I just like it to be better I don't think it's that you're in luck I don't think it's that hard to make it better Nick Wright makes it better Well, Nick Wright is once again the the anchor of the entire FS one lineup They have trotted out and announced their their brand new daily lineup and it's beginning at 8 a.m What was the cartoon show show is now Breakfast Ball.

What's Tim Hardaway gonna do now? Is it the same, different people? Different cast, it seems like Carton's there, he's front and center. With Plexico Burris and Tim Hardaway. Mark Slaerith is on this image and our friend Danny Parkins is also getting on this show, so that's cool.

So that is one of Nick Wright's closest friends here. This is an interesting thing to watch here, how Nick Wright accrues power there as he takes over the Bayless spot. Wow, way to take away Danny's achievements and attribute them to just knowing Nick Wright. Parkins is very good, and Nick Wright is helping build the economy around him at a network

that's gonna support the things that Nick Wright is building. Next show. So this means my guy D'Coby's out, my guy Tim Hardaway's out. He may still be a contributor, he just didn't make the graphic. What do you guys want from me? I thought Michelle Beatle was reported

to be a part of that show. I don't know what you want from me, I'm just reading the graphic. Like if Michelle Beatle's a part of the show, why isn't she in the graphic? Take that up with the graphic department, but this is what's out there, okay? The next show is The Facility.

And this ours ours Emmanuel Ocho Lashawn McCoy James Jones, I think the former Green Bay Packers wide receiver that's two question marks I'm pretty sure and I think it's a white guy with a beard So it's tough, but I believe this is Chase Daniel the former Heisman candidate long time back What Rob Ninkovic? Oh, that could be moving with stuff. This is not in my defense. It could be nico. I don't know Okay, but where's Joy Taylor I'm getting to it guys. Hey damn it you want to do this or should I know? I'm just asking cut to the chase. Yes, that's not a show on wow. That's a good name great name Wow

Why isn't it called that someone get that show and get the drawstring guy from the lebatard? called that. Someone get that show and get the drawstring guy from the Levitard. Get that guy on there. The herd with Colin Cowherd at noon. First things first, which is not the first thing that is first, but it is the anchor. It is at three o'clock and speak continues on with the leftovers of Undisputed. Paul Pierce, who sucks. Keyshawn Johnson and Joy Taylor hosting that show. But keep in mind if you take anything away from this conversation, Paul Pierce sucks. Stugatia from my friends over at Simply Safe, if you're like me, you're constantly thinking about the safety of the people and things you value most.

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Don Lebatard. You owe me everything. You owe me everything. You have added 10 years, Mike DeMare. Yes I have. This man has. That man. You haven't.

That man. Who the hell are you? Stu Gatz. I am. Who the hell are you? Who the hell are you? Who the hell are you? Should be banking. Bullshit. Me. You're a real bastard. Who the hell are you? Stugats! I am!

Who the hell are you? Bullshit! You're a rude young man! You're a fool! I already called you a fool! You can't call me a fool! You're an idiot again! You're an idiot for dismissing how much I've helped you!

This is the Dunlapatar Show with the StGats. That's right. It's Thursday Thunder and it's brought to you by DraftKings. Stay tuned because you're going to hear more about what DraftKings has to offer all throughout the show. DraftKings, the crown is yours. Tony, what did Juju cook up?

The, thank you, the beautiful mind of Juju Gatis put together another another banger of a parlay. Three legs on this one. First leg, we're going Paul Skeen's strikeouts under seven and a half. Really? Under seven and a half for Paul Skeen's. That is, I'd be scared of that. With a quick caveat of player must start and throw at least one pitch. I want him to go, I, every time he pitches, I expect double digit strikeouts. I'm scared of betting the under there. I should tell the people Juju cares about this deeply. He invests in this.

Uh, he takes great, great care with it. And he keeps going two out of three. Like he's never going one on three. He's never going over three. If you've been betting Juju individually, you're winning money because he keeps going two of three. Second leg of the Thursday Thunder Chicago bears minus one against the Kansas City Chiefs tonight on de facto Thursday night football. Very exciting. I'm just scared of and you can't bet

preseason games. You gotta be a crazy person. Three weeks away from Amazon cow Thursday night. Oh, give me that. I don't count Chiefs Ravens that that's too good. Give me the slop. Last leg, New York Liberty against the Dallas Wings New York Liberty at home. Juju's taking the under at 95.5 total team points for the Liberty. So again, under Paul Skeen, strikeouts at 7.5. Chicago Bears running 1 in a pick-em and under ninety five and a half points for your New Yorker. I Saw that Caitlin Clark and Angel Reese are tops in Jersey sales whole bunch of fresh blood coming to the WNBA and no sign of dissipation in terms of the momentum that they've built over the last

18 months the idea that you're just injecting the equivalent of bird magic, early in career rivalry stuff. That's where the NBA started to blossom when it became the competition between these two people that a whole bunch of different people liked or disliked. This is the tipping point, Dan, right? Like, this is, and the funny thing is, when you think about it, the NBA was about,

I wanna say 35 years old, a little bit shy of 35 years old when Bird of Magic came along, right? Games still on tape delay. The finals games in 1981 are still on tape delay in the middle of the night. It's like it's after midnight you're watching finals games being decided. After the late show, right? After Carson is on and they're gonna throw that on. So now you think about the WNBA which started in 1996 and that's coming up on around 30 years. So like this is it. This is what it's all building for and this speaks to, hey, Rome wasn't built in a day

None of these great Franchises none of these great industries of sports were instant They were built over time and there's a tipping point and this is the tipping point It feels like for the WNBA doesn't mean that these are the two best players But they're the ones that are pushing it across that line. Amin has reached another I think Technological tipping point if you know a means history you know that as an advanced scout and an information broker he made his living in this country

trying to figure out advantages that his organization could have other over other organizations when he was with the phoenix sons it's how he hustled his way up in the front office in this business are you objecting to the technology that is now happening in baseball with these pitching machines? I don't know if you guys have seen some of what's happened in baseball, okay? But if you're not following closely, every second baseman is reaching, every shortstop

is reaching into his pocket and grabbing a set of notes that tells him exactly where to play for every hitter and they've got so much information that they're using that it is simply crazy the place that baseball has arrived both knowledge, talent, and I would say thirdly the technology and now these pitching machines are able to simulate almost exactly how it is that Clayton Kershaw's slider or curve ball is going to come in from a pitching machine that is also visually creating for you.

It looks exactly like Clayton Kershaw throwing you baseballs and now the technology is simulating exactly two dozen of his curve balls so that you can get the timing of it perfectly right more so uh... if if if think about a regular pitching machine now build l e d screen in front of it and it's projecting an image of the picture that you're about to face going through his wind up his routine in his release and then the ball comes out

of a hole in the middle of the screen what they're able to do is preload hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of pitches and have it have the AI algorithmically create and simulate these pitches. And so the argument a lot of pitchers are making and I learned about this all from I believe Jeff Pass and had something about it. The argument the pitches're making is like, this is not natural, right? Like, it's one thing for Barry Bonds,

we played the clip last week, right? Barry Bonds and Greg Maddux, and they're just watching independently the film, and they're both telling you what's gonna happen. But that's based on these guys are A, baseball geniuses, and B, they played a shit ton of baseball. I love that clip so much. You might as well have had Daniel Day Lewis

prepping for a role. My favorite part was when Greg Maddux says, I probably should, like, experience tells me I should do this, but I'm probably going to do the wrong thing here. And sure enough, he does the wrong thing. That's a good pitch, though. It's a good pitch.

He does point that out. But again, these guys built whole careers of doing this the hard way, basically of facing one another and learning each other's tendencies. And now a kid can sit down and basically download a career's worth of knowledge, and within 15 minutes, I get the gist of it.

But isn't that the beauty of everywhere we're headed in our addiction to these things that give us a lifetime of wisdom so that we don't have to actually learn anything. We just have to learn how to find it. Like that that's, that that is where all of us are headed with the addiction to this appendage of a phone. I have at my access the ability to see

all of life's philosophers' wisdoms accrued throughout the world's history at my fingertips. Why wouldn't I use that information to gain advantages wherever advantages are to be gained? I think it's not about gaining advantages so much as it's about the desire to have the knowledge. In other words, I think the problem is people are just finding the information

and just, oh, that's all I need is that, right? Imagine me giving you a book and you say, all I need is page three. And you give me the rest of the book until something comes up from page seven and you come back and you take that page. And that kind of betrays the whole spirit of wanting to learn, wanting knowledge.

I'll give you a great example that's going super viral right now, the use of the word demure. And I'm like, you know, one of my friends said, yo, it tells me that a lot of you guys did not get good grades in English. Demure is like some word you've just discovered all at the same time and decided all to use it all at the same time. It's like, come on, where is our desire to actually know things as opposed to just picking

it up from somewhere else and then running with it for a Few doesn't everybody want shortcuts to learning though. I think shortcuts to learning is Man, it's it's one of those things where the journey is part is maybe more important than the destination Say that to my grass journey is not part of the destination. I wish somebody would have told me Hey, this is how you actually cut the grass you do X Y&Z Like I should have watched a YouTube video on it By the way, I have a leaky toilet at this new place And I'm trying to watch a video on it and a guy on the train today next to me

I was like this guy doesn't know how to fix a toilet. Yeah, dude I don't know how to fix a toilet very demure of you. My dad didn't teach me how to fix a toilet Man, let me just say I try to fix my toilet and never again I hate the number one thing I hate more than anything is walking into Home Depot saying, hey, this is my problem. Is this something I should get someone like, no, that's an easy fix. You can do it yourself.

And I'm like, oh, cool. It's never an easy fix. Never, ever, ever. Have you ever found the random handyman just chilling at Home Depot? They just chill. If they're looking for work, they're just hovering around.

If I were a male escort, I would hang out at a Home Depot for cover. It's always like, you need help? You need help with something? It's like, you don't work here. Or a police station or a Native American reservation or what? I would just hang out there because I would fit in like, oh, this guy's ready to be handy. And yes, I am. Look at Jeremy trying to figure out what the reference is.

I don't understand. There's a motorcycle guy too. I need a shortcut to learning. Do you believe in easy to assemble furniture is it easy to assemble for you never easy That's my point exactly Allen wrench. It's a plague on humanity Put it on the pole please juju at lebatard show is the Allen wrench a plague on humanity Yeah, right you get this box of stuff and you're like wait I can put all of this together with this little thing right here? It's amazing! Yeah, but it tears apart your fingers. And a pamphlet that has no words,

just has a cartoon caricature going, pointing this way, with a big smile, and then like a arrow going counterclockwise. And that's it, I'm supposed to know, based on these images and this little Thailand Allen wrench, I'm gonna take these random assortment of lumber and screws and turn them into this beautiful sectional couch. So I have like a whole Allen wrench set up

for my screwdriver, it was a life changing thing. A what? Who is it easy for? A screwdriver. Who is it easy for? For professionals it's very easy. Yes. For like us, it's not easy, so it's like. It's easy for the task rabbit that I have to do.

Where's G2? The handyman wandering around Home Depot, it's easy for him. If he's trying to get little side hustle work, that fixing of the toilet. I'm embarrassed though at how our show sounds every time we talk about this stuff. No, because I know. We're normal people. I'm good at fixing toilets. I'm really good at it. It's leaking. I don't even know how to use a plunger. The Water goes to the tube and then it goes to the other tube. Have you seen if the flapper is sealed? Flapper's good.

It's the tube that goes into the other tube is dripping water. How do you get the suction with the thing? You're like, you can. I hate putting my hands in there. I have to do it all the time. All the time? Yes, I do. Because I've got baby skin soft right here. That's an old-

I'm really good at the plumbing stuff. I've got an older toilet in a building that is old. And I am not good at any of these things. And I can feel the audience's judgment and I can feel that it's earned. And they stink at it too. No, no. Now Dan, do you have this part with you

when you're just like, you know what? They said it's easy, I'm gonna do it. And then hours later, you're angry, you're cursing, you're angry at the thing that you're're trying to fix you're angry at the tools You're using you're angry at the Home Depot guys who you was easy But most of all it's all a cover because you know deep down inside you're angry at yourself I am just being inadequate and I'm a little angry at myself But I'm also angry at my father for being Tony's Cuban father and teaching me now that teaching me nada

My dad's ever put his hand in the toilet before. My father only taught me, get friends who can fix things. Imagine having a Jewish Cuban dad, even worse. I am terrible at this and I'm embarrassed all the time when my wife's on a ladder fixing something in her house and I can't, like I'm just not good at that stuff and she's very good at it. And so.

That's great. Yes? Yo, that's a match made in heaven. Get you someone who loves doing that shit. That's my advice to the audience. Find you someone who loves doing that shit. And then, like, you gotta do some stuff that they don't like to do either.

And that's what a great marriage is all built on. Like, mutual kind of appreciation. Real romance, that she can fix the toilet. And it never works that way, because there's always resentment of, why aren't you fixing it? You're the man in the house. And I'm like, ah!

What's the saddest thing you've ever paid someone to do? I'm about to pay. Hey, yo. I actually paid a handyman this week to, I had, you know the toilet paper rolls that go on the wall? Wait a minute. Came loose, and I'm like, how do you fix that? How do you fix that?

How do you get behind the wall? I don't know how to do this. And I made the whole looser. This is a puzzle. It's like a finger that is just moving. I'm like four years old. I can't figure it out. So I'm like, look, man, I tried.

And I don't wanna glue this thing to the wall. So can you do me a favor? Can you figure it out? Man, he got, I tried. And I don't wanna glue this thing to the wall, so can you do me a favor, can you figure it out? Man, he got it so tight. Yeah. You got him for the whole- There's a lot of language in here, that handyman, what's the most you've paid

for something embarrassing? There's a lot of language in here. Not most you've paid, what's the most embarrassing thing you've paid for? Moving on. What? I paid, one time I paid a guy to change my lock. Oh yeah, I did that after I tried to do it myself and again, he got over my guy he got over and he's like

What do you need? Well, I'm here and I was like, can you just I have this new lock I need to want to change the lock on my door. He's just like that. That's it. And I'm just like yeah, how much He's like 40 bucks I'm always even know whether that's a lot or a little. I'm always embarrassed by these situations. I just had difficulty. I had to go downstairs in a storage facility because I used a key, a storage key, to open something and then I couldn't get the storage thing up

and so I had to go down and the guy just comes over and slides the thing and I'm looking at him as I'm holding. The slide lock. Ah, it's a tricky one, Dan. No, it's not. I'm just really bad at these things and I'm perpetually embarrassed. You're there pulling it like, ahhh, why isn't it moving? Mike, what's the most embarrassing thing you've paid for?

Tyler Van Dyke. That's a great answer. Howdy listeners, it's Mike Ryan and I've told you for quite a while about Game Time, my number one destination for the secondary ticket marketplace. No one does it like Game Time. There are often times where I'm using Game Time and I'm like, man, this experience cannot get any better. And then boom, Game Time now has a new feature called Game Time Picks that makes getting tickets to see your favorite teams play even easier.

Game Time filters out the fluff to only show you the incredible deals on great seats for your team so you don't have to waste time searching through thousands of tickets Go ahead and try it out for yourself pick an upcoming game on the app browse through it on game time picks And you want to talk about great deals game time always brings it whether it's they're all-in pricing seat views the lowest price guarantee Or their ticket coverage they make this experience so easy and for my money It's the best ticket marketplace app out there take the guesswork out of buying tickets with game time download the game time app create an account And use code Dan for $20 off your first purchase terms apply again create an account redeem code D An for $20 off download game time today last minute tickets lowest price guaranteed

Don libertar it's not my favorite region Context needs to be applied. Don't joke and... I thought the context was applied. We'd like to rip that out of context. I was going for a thing. And... You're gonna...

I have a family. You're gonna pretend here that you don't love Matthew Kachuk more than you love anybody you've ever loved? I don't love Matthew Kachuk more than my daughter. Stugats! Now it's pretty damn close. This is the Don Le more than my daughter. Stugats! Now it's pretty damn close. This is the Don LeVatar Show with the Stugats! Let me show the audience here a picture that was going viral yesterday of how loose Mike McDaniel has gotten with his aesthetics because Miami has happened to this man

in a way that makes him look a little more ragged, a little more suave, a little more sunshine, and a little more undercurrent of Miami mafioso than when he got here. When he got here, it was a lot of forehead. You can see all the surface area there on the forehead, but now the hair and it's a little bit of a castaway look on the grooming.

He's ready. What are you uh-uhing about? It's not castaway. That's rugged. That's danger. Most dudes don't have a cool patchy beard, but it's worked out for him because it kind of looks like he intended to do it and he had it manicured that way.

But I just think that's patchy. Which is the real him? When he first got here or now? I have a theory that the one on the right, the one Miami Mike, I think that's the real Mike McDaniel and the disguise was I'm trying to get hired Mike McDaniel. Forehead, I'm gonna try trying to get hired by giving you a lot of forehead. Yeah I'm gonna look at prim and proper and like I'm literally auditioning for a job but once I get it I get to be Mike. Look I gotta tell you guys you guys remember you guys keep

forgetting Mike McDaniel is black so he's very well versing code switching and so what Mike Ryan is saying is absolutely accurate you show up to the job and you say yes sir no sir oh I'd love it and then as soon as you get that job and it's like we're the contract ink dry all right I'm about to be me. It's like Superman. Superman is a superhero where his actual real identity is Superman Yeah, the costume that he puts on is Clark Kent. Mm-hmm. And that's what you're seeing right there You guys think that this was a disguise that he put on at the beginning to just get the job the way that you all wear Your best clothes to the first of the job interviews the way Chris Cody did for the Tua interview

That's right Where you're just trying to you're trying to dress to impress with a tie and a forehead You're trying to land the job and that's a man who's who knows he can coach offense now And so he doesn't have to worry about shaving anymore Then also you want to I want to point out if we could bring the image back on the glasses the glasses are great They're cooler. They're better glasses. The old glasses are getting bigger.

The old glasses are like. Did you guys ask him about that? They're getting bigger. Look at these, like the old glasses, this is high, I'm with IT, and these ones on the right are. I am IT. Oh man, that's nice. Oh, you're a writer.

That was this guy. You can't fix a toilet though. There is, I can't fix anything. I really can't, it's embarrassing. You can't fix S- though. There is something I can't fix anything. I really can't. I it's embarrassed. You can't fix S-H-I-T. Oh, no. You're a robot, Tony.

I want to before. Before we move on, I just want to ask you, if Mike McDaniel on the left walks in and says, sir, my direct deposit hasn't hit. You're saying, well, bring it up with IT with HR Whatever get out of my face the one on the right says where's my money? There's a little bit of menace your you're pulling your pocket out your wallets out You're emptying everything to make sure this man is happy He looks like someone that you would move away from in an alley because he's giving off the air of danger

He's not an alley. he's giving off the air of danger. He's not in an alley. What are you talking about? He's got the guys in the alley. I'll tell you how he's in an alley. In the back of a white stretch limo. Yeah. And the window comes down, the window comes down and you look in,

it's like, oh damn, it's Big Mike. And he says, do you have my money? And you're like, well, I got it, but it's gonna take a little bit of time. And he's just gonna look at you with this look of disappointment, he's like, I really like you, Daniel. I really do, and the window comes back up, and then the thugs come out from the shadows,

and they f*** you up, because you don't have his money. Well, there wasn't, the hint of danger is implied, but he's not gonna administer it. No. When you're saying, I've got guys, because he's not Big Mike, he's Little Mike. He snaps his fingers. He's Big Mike. He's Big Mike, you know what?

You talk about, you snap your fingers and nothing happens, you think that happens for him? You think when he snaps his fingers, everyone goes about their day like, he wants some video, whatever, no. No, you know why? Because look how he shows up. That's someone to be feared and respected.

Meanwhile, you're a goofy ass coming in here with a t-shirt on and a big smile on your face, no glasses, nothing, your hair is not, you don't have like that poofy. Poofy, poofy hair, I can't fix the toilet. Can't fix a toilet? Come on, Dan. I tell Chris Cody to dress in a way that's presentable

for a dolphin interview and he shows up in everything he showed up in with drawstrings. Just his titties I Have I have an idea though. What if Chris would have come ultra professional and been in a suit sitting in the middle When we do this next we will do this with the Panthers or heat we have to do Chris Cody We cannot do this seriously we have that we have to make it more and more of a joke. But what I was saying here, I don't want okay, in in perpetually lamenting that we don't do enough around here to just celebrate when sports people are great. When we're in the middle of history and we saw somebody who felt like an all-time great.

Joey Votto's career ended yesterday more quietly than I would have liked. So rarely do these guys get to retire the way, exactly the way they want to. When he was with the Reds, it seemed like the perfect ending, but he went to Toronto and they always think they've got a little bit more and

Joey Votto finally said I am done But for many many years in a nowhere franchise that used to be great Where he was the only Rose growing out of that sewer for 17 years Joey Votto Represented Cincinnati and baseball in a way that was maximum feared and respected because he was feared as a hitter and he was respected by everybody who played baseball and here he fights for the underdog because this man was Cincinnati like he represented Cincinnati in some of the same ways that Pete Rose did if you want to watch that documentary on Mac he

inherited the man mantle from Pete rose except without the greatness of the team and here he is on dressing one of the masters on television one of these new york bravado guys the mad dog couple months ago you said that zack rinke and i are a hall of very good ballplayers i think that can i would agree you may be right

but i get the gist of what's going on here. I know what you're doing. You're looking down on us. A couple small market Midwest ball players just because we're not big city just like you. Mr. New York City, Sirius XM radio star, Mr. National Television ESPN star with your Fifth Avenue ties and your crisp pocket squares, your tailored suits and your polished shoes and your hair, your perfectly quaffed Broadway hair. Must be nice to sit atop that Madison Avenue ivory tower looking down on us with those luscious locks.

Not everyone can be the next Roger Peckinpah mad dog. You should be ashamed of yourself. You're a disgrace. He's gonna be a good broadcaster. He's gonna be so great. Gotta put him as a color commentator, right? I love the lady whose name escapes me, who's on the right side,

cause when she comes in, she looks, I'm not talking about physically, I'm talking about the looks on her face exactly like Chris Cody during the two interview. Just an awkwardness of like, oh. Like cool, calm, cool, collected? Heavy set, playing with her drawstrings. The drawstrings are the only thing that's missing.

Demure. Demure, shut the fuck up, man. Joey Vado's career largely obscure given what happened to baseball and the Reds on his excellent watch. I don't know if you guys have watched a couple of these documentaries that have come out recently because you got the Pete Rose one in 2012 and the Reds one in 2013. I don't know if you guys have watched that one. I don't know if you guys have watched that one. I don't know if you guys have watched that one.

I don't know if you guys have watched that one. I don't know if you guys have watched that one. I don't know if you guys have watched that one. I don't know if you guys have watched that one. I don't know if you guys have watched that one. I don't know if you guys have watched that one. I don't know if you guys have watched a couple of these documentaries that have come out recently because you got the Pete Rose one in four parts on Max and you also have the murder of Air McNair which just came out on

Netflix and I got to, I'm going to say quote unquote enjoy as the verb. I got to enjoy last night with my wife offering the color commentary on being introduced to Jeff Fisher as an interview. Wow you remember when Jeff Fisher was a fixture on this show? Yeah I'm reminded of him every August 8th because everyone wishes yeah happy Jeff Fisher day and because of the new like regular season allotment, you can't sell it.

He's the eight and eight guy. No one's taking that from him. There will never be another Jeff Fisher. No. You can't say that. He owns eight and eight. Four years we were talking about how he always went eight and eight.

But my wife had the great commentary. So I'm watching something. And I don't know all of the details of how it is that Steve McNair was murdered. So I'm learning as I'm watching this and Jeff Fisher is a central figure and all my wife's conversation was Is he always so sleepy? Does he always sound so sleepy?

Is that Mega Man? What happened? What was that? Chris Cody? What is that? Is that you looking for scurrying for looks like for Jeff Fishers? Okay, and please find them as quickly as you can. Metroid. She asked me the question. Was he a good coach? And they're showing them a yard from the Super Bowl. And my answer was no. But the Dolphins flew him in a helicopter from the Super Bowl and my answer was no but the Dolphins flew him in a helicopter from Fort Lauderdale Airport because they

couldn't deal with traffic they were so eager to interview him at one desperate period where they were going through Kam Kamerins and getting Jeff Fisher with some getting that mustache was something you really wanted I didn't realize that Fisher's career started as a head coach when he was 36 that he was he was a boy wonder before all of the boy wonders I didn't realize when he was 36 that he was he was a boy wonder before all of the boy wonders I didn't realize it was that young that he was coach in Tennessee you guys haven't seen the McNair documentary I watched the one that was on TNT two or three years ago like that's that's one of my big beefs

again you talk about people learning shortcuts to learning is that when a Netflix documentary comes up about some shit that we know about because someone just did it how everyone discovers it for the first time because it's on Netflix and so you marveling at the details of the Steve Bignare murder I'm like yeah we knew this it came on after the Western Conference finals like two years ago if it's not a 1990s drama I don't want to watch it at this point I'm in that era right now watch the Fisher King the other day this This is a 1990s drama. Hey legends of the fall. Oh great No, great film great film file file all day

Chris Cody, what did you find on your search your beeping search for Jed Jeff Fisher looks like a judge coach, sweetie That's your sail. Oh That's what I found Eric man, Jeannie on the Sopranos That's what I found. Eric Mangini on the Sopranos? That's not what I wanted! Howdy listeners it's Mike Ryan and I've told you for quite a while about Game Time, my number one destination for the secondary ticket marketplace.

No one does it like Game Time. There are often times where I'm using Game Time and I'm like, man, this experience cannot get any better. And then BOOM! Game Time now has a new feature called Game Time Picks that makes getting tickets to see your favorite teams play even easier. Game Time filters out the fluff to only show you the incredible deals on great seats for your team so you don't have to waste time searching through thousands of tickets.

Go ahead and try it out for yourself. Pick an upcoming game on the app, browse through it on Game Time Picks and you want to talk about great deals. Game Time always brings it. Whether it's their all-in pricing, seat views, the lowest price guarantee, or their ticket coverage, they make this experience so easy. And for my money, it's the best ticket marketplace app out there. Take the guesswork out of buying tickets with Game Time. Download the Game Time app, create an account and use code DAN for $20 off your first purchase. Terms apply, again create an account, redeem code D-A-N for $20 off.

Download GameTime today. Last-minute tickets, lowest price, guaranteed.