The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz - Hour 2: Dying In Missouri (feat. Peter Burns)

Episode Date: December 4, 2025

"I wish you were dead." Peter Burns almost died in front of Greg Sankey and shares the details of his experience that led him toward a lifetime** of better behavior. Then, he gives Mike Ryan a reason to be glad he's alive. **2 weeks Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This is the Dan Levitar show with the Stucats podcast. What's up, P.B. What up, boys? How are you all? What's up, man? Good to see you. Holy shit. It's been a while. I know. We got Dan Levitar, Jonathan Zaslo here, and the rest of the crew. We've already started, whether Chris Cody knows it or not. He's not in charge around here. PB is what we're calling him. We're calling him PB.

My man, PB. Okay. I've been worried about P.B. since he had that life-threatening incident in a restaurant, which sounded truly terrifying. And so before we talk, you're giggling about it, but I didn't, it seemed like, I can't think of a lot of my wife was in Mexico City recently and a fishbone got caught in her throat. And it's horrifying. And it was for 15 minutes and you're laughing about it now, Peter Burns, but I imagine that's as scared as you've ever been.

And welcome, by the way. Thank you. I mean, by the way, this was like, this is a dream come true. true because I got to host and fill in for you back in the day when, you know, ESPN Radio was really fun back in the day in the Levitar days. And, uh, and so it's a great to got to hang out with you guys at this whole crew. Yeah, that was, that was a weird situation. So last year I was doing a show on the road for SEC Network. And we go on to Columbia, Missouri. I was there for the Missouri Boston college game. Just absolute, you know, huge marquey matchup that they sent me to. And I'm having

dinner with Commissioner Greg Sanky, our whole crew at dinner. And all of a sudden, at Bud's barbecue, I just take this huge bite. We're starting to talk about everything. And man, all of a sudden, I knew I was choking. I mean, like, I literally turned to Matt Stenchcombe, former NFL player. I'm like, you got to give me the Heimlich now. So he's first in the batting order. It doesn't move. Then all of a sudden, the owner comes up. He's in the next in the batting order. He can't get it. All of a sudden, then they're yelling across everywhere in the restaurant is, Is there a nurse? Anybody here? No. And then so finally some male nurse comes up from the other side of the room, this guy looks like a bowling ball. And mind you, Dan, I'm a minute into this thing. And I'm thinking, oh my God, if this nurse doesn't get it, like I'm done. Like I'm going to, we're done. He does it, Dan. And he still doesn't get it out. I'm like a minute 30. And I'm sitting here going, I'm about to die in Columbia, Missouri at a barbecue restaurant before Missouri Boston College. Like, if I would have died before the Iron Bowl, if I die before the SEC championship game or something like that, I'm like, that's kind of a cool way to go out.

But Missouri Boston College, you can't, you can't do that. It would haunt my kids forever. As your life is flashing before your eyes, is any part of you like, I'm really going to die in front of Greg Sanky? Like, I'm going to be a tale that he shares at a cocktail party 10 years down the line. I swear to God. And then Sanky, so they cracked two, when they did this, probably the 14. guy who was just a youth football coach who had just actually had the Heimlich and all the life saving stuff. He passed a certification or certification the week prior. And he's the one who

ended up saving my life, which was wild. And I'm sitting there all through that. And I'm like literally blacking out about to die and I'm looking at Commissioner Sanking. He's just sitting there watching television. And they broke two ribs on both sides after this whole thing goes down. I'm on the floor. I'm crying. I'm in tears. I'm thinking I was about to die. And he's like, well, I guess it just means chew more.

And I'm like, what are we doing? Like, you're giving me shit. You're like, I've nearly died. And I think he felt bad. The next day he called me and he's like, I apologize about that. But yeah, and now I'm here. So, hello. Well, I have a number of follow-up questions.

So you can't breathe at all or it's staccato breathing or your- It is, Dan, I'm talking zero. And that's when I knew it was something serious where I'm like, I'm drinking water. I'm like, no. And then, and I mean, you got nothing. And it's the oddest part of this whole situation. Because when you're choking is you can hear everything fine. Your touch sensation is fine.

Your vision is fine. But you just can't breathe. And then you start thinking about like, how long can I go? Like as a kid, you'd be like, I think I can hold my breath for 45 seconds or whatever. But that's when you're like, practice. seeing all of this and like, all right, I'm going to really try to hold my breath. I didn't know before I took this big piece of the steak how long I was going to be out for. And the crazy part about this.

And it's like a damn movie is as the last person is doing it, I'm thinking I'm about to die. It is literally like out of a movie where everything starts getting fuzzy and the blackness starts creeping in like a Tarantino movie. Like it all of a sudden comes in, you're like, I'm about to die. And I start slumping over and I'm like, it's over. It was a good run. At least I hosted a Levitard show before back in the day before I keeled over. I still have more questions.

Are you so panicked that you're not actually feeling the pain of the, of they've broken my ribs here? You don't feel that. The adrenaline is there and I didn't know it until, I mean, for six weeks, it was excruciating where I couldn't even get out of bed. And like, and even afterwards, you know, I didn't feel that bad. We had to call the Missouri, we called Eli Drinkwitz and the Missouri head coach because their games tomorrow, they their team doctor had to run to the facilities to help me out so and to give the x-rays i mean this thing was completely wild but yeah you're aware of how bad this is and you're also like

every single second i can stay literally alive and hold my breath gives you one more opportunity for somebody to save your life and it's and i'd love to i'd love to say i had this like epiphany where i'm like i'm going to change everything in my life like i'm going to be a better human i'm not going to be like Chris who does not put his shopping carts back in such an old take i do that oh it's a bad take but it's a real take that that's something you had it it lives and i was a great human for about two weeks and then i got back to my normal self so it just well you say normal self but i imagine you chew a lot differently now right every time and like and now i've got an eight-year-old and six-year-old and i watched them like a damn hawk i'm like no no ma'am no you chew right there and you

And you, you dealt with it, Dan. Like, you were saying y'all had an incident. Like, yeah, yeah. It's a scary situation. Well, but it wasn't, my wife had a fishbone that was stuck and she was worried for 15 minutes, but, but it wasn't total not being able to breathe. Like, did you have any strange thoughts in there? Like, am I really going to die in front of Commissioner Greg Sankey?

There's, A, it's that. And then it's awkward because we had the best table in the house, which is right at the beginning, like right at the, in the front of the restaurant. So mind you, I'm sitting there dying, everybody's just sitting there watching and everybody's all like I got a front row seat. Everybody's waiting in line to order their food. So they're like, yeah, I think I'll have the two brisket. I'm not having what that guy is to have in like is that guy's dying. And like it was just he was wild and I'm sitting there and I'm looking at this sign.

I'm like, I'm going to die in a barbecue restaurant in Missouri. And I see these people that are like, are you going to live stream this? Are you going to film this? It was, it was a, it was a time, a time was had. And you're noticing in the middle of that, I'm dying, and this person hasn't stopped watching television. Not once. And actually, he felt bad about it.

Like I said, I had a call for Commissioner Sanky that day. And then every day for like the next four days. And I think the first day, he realized how, how close I was to dying. And he's like, I'm not going to make any more jokes anymore. And I was like, that, that's fair. So we've, we've since patched that up. And then I said, that's fine. How you can make that up to me is just have ESPN sign me to a brand new contract.

And that hasn't happened. So we'll figure out what goes on. How does Matt Stinchcomb even look at you? I mean, again, that's the whole thing. I was more upset with Stinch. Matt Stinchcombe is a college football Hall of Famer, an offensive lineman. And I'm in playing in the NFL. I'm like Stinch.

And this, by the way, is the guy, the dad, Missouri dad that saved my life. And amazing that he just happened to be at the back of the rest. restaurant, a youth football coach who had just done it the week prior, and Jack Foster saved my life. Unbelievable. M-I-Z-O-U, baby. Tiger fan for life. Mike Ryan has another life-or-death question for you here, and you better answer it correctly. Should Miami be in the college football play playoff? Yes, and they should play Vanderbilt this weekend. That's what I'm all in for. Give me the whole, give me the Levitard Challenge Bowl. Can we have that? I mean, it's a joke that Miami You know, I literally saw it with my eyes.

I mean, Miami beat Notre Dame. And you guys know, like, I hosted this show. I'm not a diehard Miami fan. I'm not a diehard ACC fan. And I sit there and I go, how in the hell do you have two resumes that are almost identical? And yet they played. We know the result. And the committee's like, nah, fam, we're good.

Like, we don't need to have that in our playoff rankings. It's complete utter bullshit to how all the committee, time and intubes. time out has all this stuff going on. I'm glad you're alive. Thank you. You get a situation where Sarkesian is embarrassing himself by doing politicking. And Cristobal doesn't mind going out there and

pointing out yesterday that Notre Dame has six wins against teams that are ranked 105th or worse in defense and lost to their only two legitimate opponents. You got Christabal saying that where they're just trashing Notre Dame. I wonder where he got that information. It is, again,

in the fact of, I remember I Sark on my show a couple days ago and he and I knew he was going to be politicking and he talks about hey guys scored a late touchdown up 31 seconds I was like okay that that he clearly is trying to get like some like hit them up mixtape you know put it up on there about other coaches and again it's it's I saw when I kind of saw the college football playoff rankings this weekend I the first thing I saw when it came out on Tuesday it's like yeah we're expanding like they're I mean, it's happening. We're not going to have 12 teams and we'll probably,

I don't know if it'll be 16 or 24, but there will be some type of expansion. Peter, does the committee know what they're doing going into each week? Are they making it up as they go along? It's a great question, Zaz. And I always thought they don't take the best teams. They don't take the most deserving. They take the teams that are most convenient for them to show what they can do.

And like, and for them, there is convenience in the saying, well, we want these teams to be in and we don't want these teams to be in. And if we do this, we're going to completely counterdict what we said. Now, the college football playoff rankings show, it's a ratings bonanza, I guess. People want to see it. But I think now people more so want to watch the college football playoff rankings afterwards, just to see how they're going to pretzel themselves in to what they said was not the case last week. I mean, it's, it's crazy to think about.

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see dkng.com slash audio. Limited time offer. Don Libetard. But it's just his titties are sitting on the shelf that is his best. Steugats. He said titties. It shocked me a little bit. I wasn't quite prepared for titties. This is the Dan Levitar show with the Stugats. The SECC is really fascinating to me because I will concede it is the best conference in America. But it's also simultaneously the most overrated because I think a People are applying a lot of what the facts were maybe five, ten years ago to today.

When Missou and Tennessee get ranked when combined, they have zero wins against FBS teams that are over 500. You want to talk about convenience. The SEC usually gets stacked at the bottom of these rankings to kind of boost the resume of those that are actually doing some winning. Texas A&M finds a way to not play any of the top teams in the SEC. These conferences are too large, and we all saw the quarterback play. This question of the anchor for ESPN's SEC network and the host of ESPN Radio and SEC this morning on Sirius XM SEC Radio. I mean, Peter, Alabama hasn't played a good football game in a month. Oklahoma's offense is trash.

We all saw the quarterback play this weekend. Like, there is something to it. It can be both. It can be the best top to bottom conference in America, no doubt, and it could also be wildly overrated. Well, what also happened, too, is the 12-team playoff, and it's a great point. The 12-team playoff was made for what kind of. college football looked like before the conference expansions and the realignment. And I think those things worked when everybody inside their conference played each other.

But you're right. Indiana, Ohio State. I mean, you know how many top 15 matchups the Big Ten has played all season long? Okay. Two. And one of them was Ohio State, Texas. Okay? So that's two of them. Now, there's been more for the SEC.

But what happened now in the college football playoff rankings or the how this field works is that the conferences have gotten so big that you could have A&M get a week schedule but still play at an SEC schedule. You could have Indiana not play anybody or Ohio State because you've got 19 teams in our damn conference or 18 teams. Like it's a disaster and yet the world keeps spending because people keep watching it. Again, he is the anchor for ESPN's SEC network and the host of ESPN Radio SEC this morning on Sirius XM SEC Radio. You're also someone who was raised in Baton Rouge, so I'll ask you the question I've been asking this week.

Is there a right way for Lane Kiffin to do this? Because I'm really sort of annoyed by the rationalization that people are making for their outrage by saying, I don't mind that he did it. I understand someone taking a better job. I have a problem with how he did it. And I don't think there's a how, right way to do. I'm leaving my school when they're in a playoff situation. Yeah, Dan, I love it.

I think the nuance in that conversation here is if you're Lane Kiffin, you've been wanting to take one of these quote unquote blockbuster jobs. Like last year it was going to be Florida, right? But then all of a sudden Florida beats LSU. So they decide to keep Billy Napier. And so now he's not headed to Florida. And they kick the can down the road. And ultimately they fire him.

And then he wanted to take LSU. The problem with what Lane wanted to do was have his cake and eat it too. And I agree. you know, a lot of these things can be true that for Lane, he wanted to coach for the rest of the college football season. And he also wanted to take another job. And I think Keith Carter put his foot down because he told him weeks ago, you couldn't do that. And that's the problem that Lane had. I think Lane knew that answer. And he kept playing footsie because he was so dopamine attention addicted to the fact of, I mean, the man tweeted out a visor that said Lane, 2026. what would that tell you about what Lane wants to do he wants to get the attention at this point of the fan base going oh is what's this little breadcrumb he gave us so he wanted to play

footsie and get all of that attention but didn't want the heat when he left it and damn but there's not a lot of heat for him now did you know that the dog was fake that the dog was not a kiffin dog that the dog is a rebel dog did you know that stolen puppy valor it was uh it was rough to hear and I think a lot of people and now I think the feedback of that was so bad I think that they have basically said fine I'll take the damn dog so I think the dog is actually now in the transfer portal and will be headed down to Baton Rouge because I think people understood man like you can piss off fan bases you piss off dog owners you can't that that's a bridge too far for so many people you don't believe Oklahoma's any good do you actually I do I think their defense travels they're

physical. I think, so don't get me on this tangent. And that's one of the reasons why, you know, you'll like it. I think Miami's a physical team. I think there are certain teams that are, I wouldn't want to, I wouldn't want to play them because the physicality in this transfer portal world doesn't travel. I think that Oklahoma's physicality defensively travels and can play with anybody in the country. They're D-line, Ken, but they're only a D-line. They shouldn't dress the other 80 players. It should just be, it should. It should. just be the five on the D-line. They've shown over the last two weeks.

They can literally play with anyone in the nation, including the bottom of the SEC. I mean, thank you. I appreciate that. Yeah, they haven't got over, what, 300 yards of offense in the last two games, but the defense was that good. And I would have been curious to see if Mateer hadn't broken his hand in the middle of the season. I think that effed him up a little bit as far as his. I don't even know the physical aspect of it.

But like Zazel, I think it was like a lot of like his mental aspect of it that played into that role. But, I mean, that's, again, like, if I'm taking, if I'm taking right now, you take in Miami or we'd just take Oklahoma, Zaz? They got to take Miami. I don't think Oklahoma would score enough points to keep up with them. And I would take Oklahoma because I don't trust enough of Carson Beck. It's a really good defense to say that he wouldn't make a mistake. You're biased. The Carson Beck that dominated that conference.

Get out of here. I mean, what is this? You are clearly biased. I wish you were dead. I freaking love this show. God damn, that football coach doctor. I'm pissed off because the most fun I've had doing radio in 20 years was when I had to do this show, whatever you guys were out, back at ESB.

Because none of the shit mattered. And it was fun. You could talk about whatever you wanted to talk about. And again, I sit there and like, this has been the wildest 72 hours that I've covered in college football, especially in the SEC, with all the coaching changes and whatnot. But you guys always have some fun, man. It's a blast.

It is super strange, though. Even understanding the history of college football and the fact that it's always been judges and debate and sports writers and not necessarily merit, I've just never seen it like this. And I'm not saying it just because it's Miami involved. It just seems like the more teams that are involved, I thought that 12 was going to solve this. I really did. I thought that it's made it worse. And I thought that having 12 teams was actually going to make it better. And then Miami, yeah, Miami bubbled two years in a row. Yeah, so that's why you care. But, but yeah, I mean, but it's also, it's also people will have a conversation about it because Texas is a brand. Miami ends up being a brand Notre Dame, hell may be on the outside looking in. And I think, again, goes back to the conversation of conference expansion is a fact

that I hated the idea that when we said 12, all people are going to bitch and moan and complain that of teams 13, 14, 15, and 60. But I think we legitimately have really good teams that are on that bubble now. and there's a lot more parody in college football. It's amazing that we've had this entire conversation and haven't mentioned BYU one time. It's outrageous. And I think that's a great point,

but I think the BYU conversation also is like they're not focusing on BYU because like, well, if BYU wins in the Big 12 championship and they beat Texas Tech, then they're in. And okay, well, why are they not in or why are they not in that conversation if they lose that game? They should be if they lose that game. The same way that Georgia will be.

be if they lose to Alabama for a second time. Yeah. Who do you believe is getting most wronged here? If this all ends with someone getting wronged, who do you believe has the most right to be upset? I mean, take the numbers out of the equation. Miami, especially if Notre Dame gets in, if you're a hurricane fan, you're like, what the a half, man?

Like, I mean, wait, did these games not exist? And the college football playoff committee says, well, when they get close enough, we'll look at the head to head. Well, they're close enough. They're looking at the resume. And you sit there and you're like, it didn't matter. Like, why play the damn games? I think that. And again, they got a soft spot in my heart. But Clark Lee and Vanderbilt 10 and two and Diego Pavia, who's a damn dog. Like, I would have loved to see that team play somebody. And again, that's what I'm saying. The Levitard Challenge weekend. Do counter programming have, you know, two, other teams that get together on a neutral site, play ball.

I mean, Clark Lee literally told us guys this week, pack your bags because we could find a game within the next two days and see if we could work that out. Now, maybe that was BS, but I'd love to watch it. Vanderbilt has played for how many years, Jeremy, because this is their first 10-win season, right? I, never mind my lifetime, never mind my dad's lifetime, never mind my grandfather's lifetime. There's never been a good Vanderbilt team. Like, this is the first, this is the-18-90.

So they've been playing football since 1890. This is the first time they've won 10 games. I'd be pretty pissed if I was playing in the SEC. I won 10 games and I didn't get into the playoffs. I would have never thought we'd see a 10-2 SEC squad as the anchor of the SEC Network and the host of SEC Radio would be out. And yet here we are. And again, I think that's why I remember they kick back the idea of conference or expanding

the college football playoff. It was supposed to be the deadline was going to be December the 1st. then now they've kicked that back to January the 23rd and now it's a matter of Sanky and Petiti, the SEC and Big Ten commissioners looking at each other and going, do we want 24 with all these guaranteed spots or do we want more of a committee? I have no idea.

All I know is that a little expanding. If you make it 24, though, you make the Indiana-Ohio State game even less relevant than it is this week, and it should be relevant this week. But if you make more playoff games, then, And then I think you do do away with conference titles, right? I said do-do. Yeah.

It's tough, right? Because then you're basically saying, well, why the hell would you play this game? Right? I mean, like, I'm intrigued. I brought up that question on my show this morning. Like, what would you be more intrigued with? Texas and Miami playing this weekend to figure out like an extra data point or the Big Ten championship game? I honestly would be more intrigued watching Texas and Miami play.

even though I am intrigued to see if Indiana or Ohio State are for real and which one of those teams are legit because then all it has to do with seeding-wise and I don't even know how much changes in the seating. I think even the Big Ten champion, a Big Ten champion is going to be won and the Big Ten runner-up ends up probably still being a top-four squad. Can you make a ruling for us on what Zaslo said here earlier in the show?

We've been debating it all show. We want to get a ruling from a broadcast professional. What is he saying here? Jimmy Butler in the Heat took the Bucsole. Ooh. Jimmy Butler in the heat took the bucks hole. There's a, I mean, I don't know if it's a butthole. Give me what to me one more time.

Like, give me one more. He took the buckle. That's not fair. No clue. I mean, Zaz, what, I mean, it was a hole. Jimmy, defend yourself. What was, what was the idea that you wanted to come get across? The Milwaukee Bucks have not been the same since 2023 when Jimmy Butler and the Miami Heat took

the buck's soul. Got it. Buck's soul. Okay. All right. It's, uh, this is how he said it. He took the buck hole.

Yeah, it was much more of a butthole take than it was a buck's soul. Butthole take for sure. He took the buckled. Thank you, Peter. Appreciate the time. Good seeing you, P.B. Appreciate it. Thank you.

Uh, nice seeing you. See you boys. Don Lebertard. I don't think I ever got that many roses in my whole life. Stugats. Certainly not for me. your lovely grandfather, god, man, so rushed in peace. This is the Dan Levitar show with the Stugat.

There are a couple of other things that I wanted to get to here in this hour. One of them, the inexplicable, or to me inexplicable anyway, of Quentin Tarantino taking out Paul Dano. Paul Dano, I don't know if I was introduced to him in There Will Be Blood, but it was one of his most signature roles, and I think it's where I discovered, oh, who is this guy? I think he's good. Did you ever see Little Miss Sunshine? That's where I saw him first. I did see Little Miss Sunshine. Don't actually remember sort of the idea of who is this star the way that I thought opposite Daniel Day Lewis, going back and forth with Daniel Day Lewis, matching Daniel Day Lewis. What was Quentin Tarantino's objection to Paul Dano? Where was this and why was this? So he was on a podcast,

and he was naming his top 20 movies of this century. So top 20 movies of the 21st century. And I'm just going to read you the quote because his number five movie is there will be blood. And he says, quote, Daniel DeLewis, the old style craftsmanship quality to the film. It had an old Hollywood craftsmanship without trying to be like that. It was the only film he's ever done and I brought it up to him that doesn't have a set piece.

The fire is the closest to a set piece. This was about dealing with the narrative, dealing with the story. And he did it fucking amazingly. There will be blood would stand a good chance at being number one or number two if it didn't have a big giant flaw in it. And the flaw is Paul Dano. Obviously, it's supposed to be a two-hander, but it's also drastically obvious that it's not a two-hanner.

Dano is weak sauce, man. He is the weak sister. Austin Butler would have been wonderful in that role. He's just a weak, weak, weak, uninteresting guy, the weakest fucking actor in SAG. And then he laughed. That's crazy, right? I can't believe that.

I can't believe Tarantino said that even though he's always opinionated, even though I know how much he loves Paul Thomas Anderson and competes with Paul Thomas Anderson. Paul Thomas Anderson did boogie nights at 25 years old is also one of the great. You never hear a director do that to someone they have, not only in their industry, but does he have a bad experience with Paul Dan? like how would he assess that must be if i'm paul dano and i have no knowledge that tarantino feels this way about me and i'm just listening to that podcast and i hear all of a sudden tarantino take me out that way someone that respected that is a cutting comment that i'm going to have trouble getting over

no this is bizarre i think qt really put his foot in his mouth a foot fetish joke mike that's right he would he would have liked the movie better if there were women's feet and also he could say a racial slur. Where did this come from? There's no history between the two. Did he bang his mom? I mean, he must have. Don't we all agree that Paul Dano is a pretty good actor?

I used to think so. I thought he was a great actor. He's no Austin Butler. But I also know Quentin Tarantino is my favorite director, and I was really shocked to hear this. Let's get to the Hampton Farms nominees for year-end winning here on Nuttiest fan of the year. Yeah, it's very excited. Dan. We are doing our tournament of champions. Every week throughout the football season, we nominated a nuttiest fan.

So now you can go to our Instagram. It's the nuttiest fan playoffs. It's brought to you by Hampton Farms. Get Nutty with Hampton Farms, the official peanut of bowl season. Vote for your favorite at Levitarcho on Instagram, and we will crown a winner next week. We had a bunch of good nominees throughout the season. We had the insane fans storming the field at the Virginia Florida State game. We had people making appearance. We had so much good stuff then. We had, oh, Michael, Remember Michael Irvin, taking a belt at Doak. I think that's my favorite. Not taking a belt. He was not taking a belt. He was just whipping the wall. Taking a belt to the wall. That's how I would describe it. That is how you could have described it the first time, but not how you described it. Look at that. That's my favorite. Remember, Pippo. We had a bunch of good nominees. Go to our Instagram and vote for your favorite. We will announce our nuttyest fan of the year next week.

I wanted to ask you guys a couple of questions about the movies and specifically the smashing machine with The Rock. Are you guys aware that while the Rock was trying with A-24 to clearly win an Oscar, while he was trying to be taken seriously as an actor, because he's lining up with A-24, and also doing something that I would not do if I were The Rock. I would not spend hours in a makeup chair every day. If I were Colin Farrell and the Penguin, if I, I don't know who you guys would say required the most work in makeup for hours a day. I know Eddie Murphy did a lot of this when he was doing his movies, but it's just not something I would choose to do, spend hours a day in makeup. But are you guys aware that the smashing machine, while it got him a standing ovation, people did actually appreciate the acting in it, is by a lot, his worst box office debut ever, that it was. It's a commercial bomb. It's not a success as a business. And sometimes actors choose artistic endeavors instead of commercial ones, but that's not usually what the rock does with his business choices. And I wonder what you make of the fact that the smashing machine is an artistic endeavor. But evidently, the people just want the rock jumping from skyscrapers and doing what the rock does. They don't really want the smashing machine in that story, no matter how well he acted in it. I wonder if he's bothered or

hurt by the fact that it was the worst box office opening of his life. He put out a statement after it bombed in the box office and the rock does really love his box office reputation. And it was kind of sad. He's like, okay, remember, he was out in Madison Square Garden at the UFC fight next to Sue Gott several years ago talking about how it took him 10 years to get to the point to get it greenlit. This was his, this, he thought that this rule was his dream role and it would get. him fanfare awards and box office success. Now the first two are yet to be determined. He did receive critical acclaim and we'll see if he actually gets a nomination. I'm sure that'll soften the blow. But yeah, he's wearing it. He's wearing it even though he's already

parlayed into a role in Martin Scorsese's next picture. Skyscraper is such a good movie. Is that the one where he's hanging from a helicopter? He's got one leg and one leg. That's where he's got like the peg leg. Yeah, one leg. And he jumps from the one, Scott, from the skyscraper onto the building over the fire with a peg leg. Yeah. Jeremy, let's get Tarantino's top 20 movies because- I thought you never asked. Well, I've done some of this where I'm in an algorithm that I get a lot of

Tarantino stuff and I get a lot of, when he chooses, when I go down this path, he chooses a lot of movies that I don't actually want to watch because of his appreciation for cinema in the 1980s. and he just chooses a lot of movies that I will never watch. But let's just quickly go through the 20. Start with number 20. I'll give you a couple quotes here that are interesting from him, too. So number 20, West Side Story.

He says, this is the one where Steven shows he still has it. I don't think Scorsese has made a film this exciting this century. Whoa. Not only Dano, but now, Marty. Number 19. Cabin fever. Number 18. Moneyball.

Really? Yeah. Number 17. Chocolate. Chocolate Chocolate Number 16 The Devil's Rejects

Number 15 The Passion of the Christ Of which he says I was laughing a lot During that movie Not because they were trying To be perverse Laughing at Jesus

Getting fucked up Extreme violence is just funny to me And when you go so far beyond extremity It just gets funnier and funnier It's weird I hate that take 14 School of Rock

Good film Great movie He says this is close to bad news bears as we ever got. 13. Jackass the movie. 12, Big Bad Wolves. 11. Battle Royale. 10. Midnight in Paris.

9. Sean of the Dead. 8. Mad Max Fury Road. 7. 7. Unstoppable. 6. Zodiac. 5. There will be blood. Four, Dunkirk. Three, Lost in Translation.

Of which he said, I fell so much in love with Lost in Translation that I fell in love with Sophia Copier, Coppola, and made her my girlfriend. And then he later said, I hadn't seen such a girly movie in a very long time. And I hadn't seen such a girly movie like that. Be done so well. Number two, Toy Story 3. He called it the good, the bad, and the ugly of. animated films, the greatest end

of a trilogy ever. And number one, Black Hawk Down. A terrible list. Dreadful. It's a terrible, terrible list. I think that we've got a better top five list that we can do with Zaslo. Could you put together

quickly for me, Zaslo? Top five worst retirement tours ever in honor of Chris Paul. Any OLL?L.I? Are you just going to go? Nope. Let's get right to it. No, O-L-I. You ready, Dan? Yep. Top five worst retirement tours.

Now, there are some rules here because it's not like, you know, retirement. It's no, no, no, we know this player is retiring, you know, it's worst ending. Number five, Wayne Gretzky. Had just nine goals his final season, the Rangers missed the playoffs. Not the way you would expect the great one to go out. I legitimately don't even remember Wayne Gretzky with the range. He killed the Panthers. Do not remember it.

Yeah. 97 killed the... You know, Dan, he was a big hockey guy in 97. I was. I can break down Brian Scroodland like nobody's business. Number four, Derek Jeter. He sucked his final year. Oh, but he at the moment.

Don't let his last bat bat and the moment in a game 162 that meant nothing because the Yankees missed the playoffs. Don't let that final at bat, which was very cool. Let you forget, he was terrible. that season. He batted 256, he had a 304 on base percentage, he was a singles hitter, 313 slugging, he sucked. Would it led the league in batting this season? Yeah, 256. Do you hear what he said, though? 3.04 and 313, he had an OPS of 615.

Soot. It's a walkoff in the last game. That was cool. It was so special. No one really understands OPS. Number three, Charles Barkley. Now, it's not like Barclay was bad. He averaged a double-double, 14 and a half points, 10 and a half rebounds, but in his 20th game that season, actually was his 19th, he blew out his knee, had to be carried off the court, and then even though he was out for the year, he made an appearance in the final game of the season so he actually walk off the court on his own. Very sad, Barclay deserved better. Number two, Chris Paul. I mean, come on. Chris

Paul announces that he's doing a, it's farewell, he's retiring. He averaged less than three points a game this year, shooting 32% in 16 games, sits on the end of the bench, doesn't talk to his coach for weeks, gets sent home in the middle of the night, an embarrassment. Chris Paul, second worst. There's one worse than that? Oh, yeah, you know what it is. The worst retirement tour. A player who didn't even deserve a retirement tour.

They don't love you like they love Kobe. Paul Pierce, that's right. He sucks. Paul, he was such a duck that final year. 3.2 points per game. He only appeared in 25 games. Matter of fact, in his final game of that season, he played in, he played two minutes. He had no points. No points in his final regular season game. And his coach with the Clippers was Doc Rivers. It's like there's not a relationship there. Doc's like I don't even care to play you more than 2 minutes. You suck. Paul Pierce, number one. You don't forgive easily. You're somebody who holds on to things in a way that is a bit maniacal, I would say. Earlier this year, I guess last, yeah, earlier during the baseball postseason, I was wondering how a oldest Chapman could possibly at this age have been still throwing 103 and 104 miles an hour. It didn't make sense to me that he was terrible a few years ago and all of a sudden he is back to being all sorts of dominant and that his high fastball is something that nobody in the sport could hit.

And Mike Ryan simply accused him in ways that were sort of whispered of steroid use. And then I just saw these photos of him just throwing the baseball. Human genes, Dano. That arm, that arm looks a bit like a human thigh. Look at those lats. My gosh. Look at his chest. I just showed you the picture.