The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz - Hour 2: Fifty Shades Of Greg (feat. Pablo Torre)

Episode Date: December 4, 2024

We kick off Hour 2 with one of our best songs of the year, a tribute to Rose's adventure with pepper spray. Then, Pablo Torre is here to discuss his latest episode of PTFO featuring a butter sculpture... of himself, but we need to get Greg "the enemy of funny" Cote to read some edited passages from Fifty Shades of Grey first. Plus, Dan has several topics he'd like to get to before the show ends, but none are more important than Greg's takes on the MLB Hall of Fame and his new shoes from the Wu-Tang Clan. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 You're listening to Giraffe King's Network. This is the Dan LeBattor Show with the Stoogats Podcast. Ba-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da- down on me. And I sustained, oh, our time left, I injury. Ohio State sucks drama, you lost, that's the deal. The video clearly shows, with my eye almost blinded, there's Harry and Lucy laughing Baby, I can tell you that I'm pissed that it rose with the spray Oh, she sounded like a goose who stepped on with heels of yad Even though Rose was in doom, there's Harry and Lucy laughing Even though I was in doom, there's Harry and Lucy laughing We got Shakira? Rose's accent is excellent.
Starting point is 00:01:56 I think we have a problem on our hands though. Somebody just walked in here and handed me something and I don't know if that person is a lawyer let's close this chapter once and for all ladies and gentlemen of the dead levetard show a stand here today representing my client rose the pepper spring incident of twenty twenty four robert her ability to function like a normal human being uh... we've had time to reflect on this outrage yes my client went viral but at what cost her newfound fame as pepper spray girl is both a blessing and a curse, but Rose doesn't want your pity. She wants justice, and so we present our demands. My client demands are, number one, a lifetime
Starting point is 00:02:34 supply of eye drops, preferably gold plated for dramatic effect. Number two, her own show, name it, Rose does it, because risking her life once wasn't enough. Number three, a $2,000 sound bed linked to be sent. Number four, Dan has to wear an eye patch for a week in solidarity. Number five, a company sponsored therapy dog, preferably a golden retriever named Pepper. Number six, Roy and David must do a TikTok dance in Rose's honor.
Starting point is 00:03:01 A formal apology from Dan and Lucy delivered in a song, and full sponsorship of her upcoming book, The Adventures of a Despistada. Man, that's a despistada is the word. You got it. Spanish can be tough sometimes, huh, Dan? Complete with ads on the show and a branded candy cane book tour. Why was I handed this?
Starting point is 00:03:21 What authority does the person have who handed me this? Reasonable demands. Yeah. Not even producer. uh... why was i handed this what it will what authority does the person have who handed me this reasonable demands yeah not even producer who are Pablo tori finds out is the name of the podcast uh... that song was excellent by rose i did not know that rose had a singing voice i did not know that she was capable of doing that so uh... i'm sorry that you were pepper sprayed rose and i'm sorry that Lucy spent so much time laughing about it Jessica did you find it as funny as Lucy seemed to find all of that because she was laughing in the face of Rose as
Starting point is 00:03:53 Rose was on the floor you know pawing at her eyes some people laugh as a absurd you know coping mechanism like when you're not sure how to react some people just kind of reflexively go out like when northern illinois the nother dame i laugh for like a week i was dead inside but i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i Who does that other than Lucy because Lucy was saying it was her coping mechanism and I know Jess As she just my wife anytime I'm in pain my wife starts laughing meanwhile I work here stub my toe she starts cackling my wife does that if she trips and almost falls She laughs as if at herself if a child walks into something my wife will laugh My daughter walked into a sliding glass door and legitimate hurt herself. And you're freaking out, right?
Starting point is 00:04:45 No, but my wife... You were laughing too? No, no, no. I don't have that gene. My wife just couldn't stop laughing. I was there tending to our daughter. The coping mechanism, though, sounds like that your wife is just laughing at you. Like, I could see you stubbing your toe. Is that... you're saying that's an empathetic response from her?
Starting point is 00:05:02 Where she's feeling your pain and therefore laughing, as opposed to laughing because you've hurt yourself. Anytime I'm like, like right, like, ah man, like she finds it funny. The act of me just like hopping around and yeah, she's laughing at me. Okay. There's no other way to look at it.
Starting point is 00:05:16 That's not a coping mechanism. That's her laughing that she's married an oaf. It's just mean. And that, and a loveless marriage. Pablo Torre finds out is the name of the podcast, but I want to bring him into the thing that's happening right now. Greg Cody refuses to read these lyrics. Imagine that Dan Patrick.
Starting point is 00:05:36 We just soiled the middle of that Dan Patrick interview totally discombobulated a professional who's never discombobulated right because I thought you guys I've seen you guys working for the last 45 minutes You guys have been trying to find words more palatable to Greg Cody than the ones he refuses to read here You guys have been trying to produce Greg Cody for 45 minutes He refuses to do what it is that you're doing refused to do it on the Dan Patrick show and now refuses to do it now Sure. Mm-hmm. Yeah, why wouldn't wouldn't I yeah I mean he said that 44 minutes ago he didn't want to do it copy is cleaner than it was before I don't even know if he if he gave the new copy a look I was like I
Starting point is 00:06:15 whispered in his ear hey read it see if it's this is to your liking but I think he's just against the the entire concept which is fine like I feel pretty confident in the script that we did I think it's funny I don't think any of these clips are going to come back to haunt him we went out of our way the entire concept, which is fine. Like, he doesn't have to do it. I feel pretty confident in the script that we did. I think it's funny. I don't think any of these clips are gonna come back to haunt him. We went out of our way to clean up some of the language in there. Greg, here's the thing.
Starting point is 00:06:31 No one's trying to trick you. Pablo, just hold on a second. Working within the rules. Hold on just a second, okay? I'm piecing it together. Is it possible? Can I just convince you of the following? And I understand if you do not trust these people this way,
Starting point is 00:06:44 the producers of your show but for many years they have produced this show well enough to put us in all very good likable funny positions they produced the show well i don't believe either that you have read all of this copy i'd just read blindly handed to me i'd not seen the copy that was just handed to me by that person who was a lawyer and i don't know what they do for have. How'd that go? I have terrible regret about everything that just happened because that person's judgment shouldn't be trusted on funny. Like, in fact, whoever that was...
Starting point is 00:07:12 Or Spanish. Or at least your comprehension. Yes, Spanish. Dan's stumbling on, I believe he tried to say despacito at first, which feels like not the right word. I really ruined that because... Which is pretty pathetic. Which, ironically, doing it despacito might have helped.
Starting point is 00:07:27 Yes. So- For who? Major penalty, five minutes, ruining comedy. ["Despacito"] If I could leave right now, I would give myself the penalty for trusting the judgment of the person who came in and handed me that but i trust my producers
Starting point is 00:07:48 that's it i trust the people not rare it is that somebody just walks in and you piece of paper you have no idea what it is you're reading and i read it live on air what i'm asking greg cody to do right now is to trust i've watched them working over the last forty five minutes when they were busy ruining the show talking about college football nonstop in a way that was super annoying they were working on funny words to replace the ones they think that your
Starting point is 00:08:12 objecting to to make this cleaner copy and i believe that they're handing something that if you read the right now sight unseen and trusted them that would make you laugh make us laugh and not actually be something that is what you're worried about but you have to trust them yeah a couple of things number one as you referred to me on the enemy of funny you know i'm a guy that was off air i'm a guy who really doesn't hurt to go along with the job that was all fair that was not an honor but he's hurt by it there okay i mean
Starting point is 00:08:40 i'm the opposite of the enemy of funny but but you called me that. And I'm just curious why, like you had your dad reading them. I never did that. That was the producers of the show who I trust. And now you're asking me to read them. Hmm, the old guys. I guess it's funny when an old guy reads something vulgar. You got it. That's a ticket.
Starting point is 00:09:01 Well, yes, that's the trick. I just wanted to make sure I had that right. In Dan's defense, he wanted Chris to feel what it is he's feeling when he has to listen to his dad. Were we hiding that? No, it was dad, dad, old guy, guy that would be uncomfortable reading such sexy things. And you objected and then we pivoted and we wrote old timey words. How sexy was it? Just to jump in here. It's 50 Shades of Grey, which is pretty vulgar.
Starting point is 00:09:26 Well, you still haven't read it? You still haven't read the script? I think you'd like it. I think it puts you in a winning position and gives you a big laugh and you're a hero. So Greg, I will tell you that for 20 years, blindly, Mike hands me a piece of paper, Billy, Chris, they hand me a piece of paper, I trust them, I'm going to read it. I understand, however, why you do not wanna do this. I get it, it makes sense to me. But I just wanna say, like, he's not even proofreading it. It's not like we're doing this, read this right now live, like, just proofread it.
Starting point is 00:09:53 You came up to me and handed me a sheet of paper live while we're on the air with Dan Patrick. And I said, proofread it to your liking. Like, I said, what, you were leading the interview? You had plenty of time to read. Mike, I think it's, Greg, I think it's fair to say if you were leading the interview you had Mike I think it's Greg I think it's fair to say if you were to read it now in a clinical way as a matter of reviewing And approving it would be different from you performing it
Starting point is 00:10:12 So could you read it just in a way that establishes that you've reviewed it not in a way that actually ties you to it in A performance I would read it, but not allowed come on before I read it It's not as funny! It's not as funny if I'm reading those words because... Why? We... I'm not gonna give away the only joke that's in there now. Because you're the enemy of funny?
Starting point is 00:10:34 Come on! Because I'm the enemy of funny! Exactly. If I read it, you'll see it on air. I've never done anything on this show. Alright, here. We've already ruined the comedy. I will read, I will read this this and then Greg will learn exactly why
Starting point is 00:10:46 Just proofread it take your time and let me know if it's okay Don't just don't just die on a hill when you don't even want to read the art that Jeremy and I have created If I had it in front of me I would be reading it Oh god, it's only five minutes proving comedy Mike Ryan out Oh no, I don't get any credit for giving you some good synonyms You know what? We brought it in this back row today. Yeah, Jess was absolutely out out Jessica I didn't kick you out you stay
Starting point is 00:11:15 Double birds with handlebars I didn't but I respect that move I don't even think I didn't kick her out. I don't know why she's leaving, but okay. No, don't get to be here for Pablo. Get out of here. Get out of here. Go sit in the- Pablo, check your email. Don't you dare.
Starting point is 00:11:33 Wait a minute. Wait a minute. He finally saw how ridiculous he was being. Wait, wait. Because- Don't cave in. All right. You stop. Let him cave in. All right.
Starting point is 00:11:45 You stop, let him cave in. All right, hold on a second. I need to slow everything down here for just a second, okay? Because. Dangerous game. Greg, where are you right now with this? Because while you were, while we're talking, and while we're arguing and yelling at everybody, we have sent to Pablo, Pablo check your Slack.
Starting point is 00:12:04 We have sent to Pablo what it is is and now i don't genuinely know whether you doing this book what the work of the producers whether that you should be the star of the segment of pablo i think the work maybe should go to pablo now that you're asking to do it just so that you can see that it's funny but i'm telling you that i believe that you reading this as book ice I want Greg it is so rare for me to see them during the show three of them working for 45 minutes on something together during not listening to the
Starting point is 00:12:34 show just working for 45 minutes when that comes to me I trust it more than one whoever that fool was who came in here and handed me that piece of paper that made me read Spanish on the that. That fool is serving a five minute major right now. It needs to be five months or five years because that's to never happen again. Like, do you know how much, how long, look, go read the oral, listen to the oral history if you wanna know how hard it is
Starting point is 00:12:55 for me to trust you that way. That person barging in here and handing me something to read on his funny. I'm 20 years in, I'm still working on it. I'm not sure that person should work here anymore if that they've got person thinks it's okay to do that named that person well but you're the enemy of funny here because the enemy of because i believe
Starting point is 00:13:14 that if you read this you're the funniest person to read this as someone who is seen over the last twenty years what the producers of this show when they can do when you're given somebody's personality traits to make them a star yeah Good let me have it hmm Chris. Are you in agreement that it's fun has to do it Dan I'm looking at this it feels like I can't be the guy trying to Audition for the role of Han Solo when Harrison Ford's right there like this is the first line spoiler alert is darn tootin Like you want me to I know, Greg has to do the spoiler.
Starting point is 00:13:45 You've ruined it. Damn it, Paul. You know what? Get him out of here. What? There's so many more lines. Get him out of here. There's so many more.
Starting point is 00:13:51 There's so many more. It's a dark truth. Unbelievable. What are we doing? Good. Good. Good. Good.
Starting point is 00:13:58 Good. Good. Keep him out for five minutes. No, stay down there. Stay, no, stay down there. I don't need any visual jokes from you. get out of here. Here you go Greg Cody It's in front of you and now you read please I still got you tell me what you think is funniest here because I think
Starting point is 00:14:14 Jessica and Mike want to be might want to be in here for this but they're penalized as his problem Okay, I like both of them in the penalty box as Greg is reading this Okay, go ahead and put them up on the screen please so people can see their reaction to their work with Jeremy there. Just that, right? Just all of it if you don't mind. And I'm asking, Greg, I was asking you to just read it instead of proofreading it, just read it live like I was asked to do. Please trust the producers. Slowly and sensually.
Starting point is 00:14:41 Well, trust Dan is what he's asking you to do. Darn tootin'. Only me. Her words are a siren's call to my libido. Losing all self-restraint, I sweep everything off my desk, sending my papers, phone, and pens, all clattering or floating to the floor, but I don't give a hoot. I lift Anna and lay her across my desk, so her hair spills over the edge and onto the seat of my chair.
Starting point is 00:15:12 You want it? You got it, baby, I growl, shipping out the prophylactic and unzipping my pantaloons, making quick work of covering my doohickey. I stare down at the insatiable Miss Steel. I sure hope you're ready, I warn her, grabbing hold of her wrists and keeping them at her sides. With one swift move, I'm inside her whatchamacallit. Ah, goodness me, Anna. You're so ready. I mean, unbelievable. Woo! I mean, amazing. We hit the lunes. We hit the lunes.
Starting point is 00:15:54 Now look how happy he is. Look at him. Look how happy he is. It was good editing. Good editing by the producers. Trust them. Trust your son. It's the reason that the Greg Cote Show You're a producer. You're a producer. You're a producer. You're a producer. You're a producer. You're a producer. You're a producer.
Starting point is 00:16:05 You're a producer. You're a producer. You're a producer. You're a producer. You're a producer. You're a producer. You're a producer. You're a producer.
Starting point is 00:16:12 You're a producer. You're a producer. You're a producer. You're a producer. You're a producer. You're a producer. You're a producer. You're a producer.
Starting point is 00:16:19 You're a producer. You're a producer. You're a producer. You're a producer. You're a producer. You're a producer. You're a producer. You're a producer. You're a producer. You're a producer. You're a producer. You're a producer. His podcast is doing very well because he appears here and then follows his curiosities endlessly.
Starting point is 00:16:26 Nick Wright called your podcast the world's most expensive podcast the other day. Where is it that you're going? What is it that you're doing this next episode? Well, some people left ESPN to open the microphones, to spread the gospel of freedom in America. And that worked out as we all know, real great. I left to get a butter sculpture of myself made. And Butter Me was very popular in the streets of New York City.
Starting point is 00:16:57 So that's this episode that came out just yesterday. It's also an episode about sports statues with the Pulitzer Prize-winning art critic. There I am. Yeah! It's also an episode about sports statues with the Pulitzer Prize winning art critic. There I am. Yeah! It's made of butter, that sculpture, and you're just, this is all Dwyane Wade related, the Dwyane Wade statue related?
Starting point is 00:17:13 I buried the lead. We got the leading authority on art in the world, arguably Jerry Salt of New York Magazine, Pulitzer Prize winner, to critique, he does not know who Dwyane Wade is. We had him critique all of the sports statues that have existed and we culminated the episode in him evaluating butter Pablo and so I just want to tell Nick Wright to go yourself and you would know this as himself a
Starting point is 00:17:43 butter face so you know in your face I don't really believe one of you liberal elite should be shaming someone else on how they look how their face looked especially since these butter sculptors made yours skinnier than it actually is yeah I am hot I am I am real hot in in dairy form that was not my, yeah, not my, I couldn't believe. It wasn't, yeah, butter. No, that's just. Looks like John F. Kennedy.
Starting point is 00:18:11 That's what they said. Yeah. Really? That's what they said. Yeah, that's what Jerry Salzpoel's surprise winner said. That it looked like JFK. How about that? Well, what are you doing there? Just scrubbing all the ethnicity off you?
Starting point is 00:18:21 Like, what are we doing there? Well, they gave me a better mustache. They increase the ethnicity in terms of just the stash if you zoom in you can see that it's my upper lip has has some more right entirely self-involved so the episode is about you making a butter sculpture of yourself it's about art and criticism in an era in which people are afraid to criticize art because of course there's a great sensitivity here. I'm actually being honest. And Jerry Saltz by the way is an incredible guy and maybe I did when everyone left.
Starting point is 00:18:50 All right, look here, here you go. Just keep, do me a favor Pablo here on your way out. I was delicious. Just go ahead and give me all your important societal thoughts for one minute about the statement you're trying to make with this very important podcast episode of public or he finds out and chris you just keep playing that music behind him when he says incredibly pretentious things
Starting point is 00:19:13 all i'm here to point out is that the idea of criticism in the world of art has become endangered species we live in a time when people are afraid to actually point out in a coherent way with actually logically grounded opinion why something sucks. If you are an artist, okay, the internet is not the place where criticism should be happening in this way, it's cheapened it. But if you actually have the authority of somebody who has criticized a presidential portrait as Jerry Saltz famously did of Barack Obama,
Starting point is 00:19:46 the painter Gehinde Wiley, put him in a throne against this beautiful ornate African backdrop. Jerry said that sucked and he explained why. And he was able to pursue a profession in which he can actually speak truth to the power that seems to be incumbent across all of the art world. There's a banana, as you guys guys know it is sold for like nine figures
Starting point is 00:20:08 um... jerry salt will tell you whether that bananas actually where the my butter sculpture if you watch the episode you will see uh... there at least three women washington square park who wanted to see what i actually tasted like and uh... uh... they found out we all found out actually and that is journal pablo tori finds out wherever it is you get your podcast thank you pablo good
Starting point is 00:20:32 seeing you again like you guys love you guys nick right okay like you love you that's a weird way and i was like all of it and i guess or love and and just that we don't need your language keep it classy like honest to god you just like that you can do that now that you're not always at the s p n go ahead and do that it is and i'll get to that break i'd e s p and see how it works out for you
Starting point is 00:20:55 go ahead and do not it's not going great or msnbc go ahead and do it while there see how that works out for you it's not just me and we can say We can say butt plug now. Howdy, folks. It's Mike. And guess what? It's Miller time. The holiday season brings around lots of joy, and also lots of family, lots of family gatherings
Starting point is 00:21:14 at your home. You're inviting people in there. You want to make sure they're happy. Why don't you make their time at your place a Miller time? Pass around that beautiful white can of Triple Hop's brewed Miller Lite and watch the smiles adorn those faces. Make Miller Lite the official drink, the official beverage of your holiday get together. You know why? Because it is a perfect beer for the holiday season. You'll take
Starting point is 00:21:38 a sip, you'll look around, and you'll think immediately, yeah, I made the right call. It's got taste that you can depend on, no games, no gimmicks, just great beer for people who like beer. Making memories at year-end gatherings? Tastes like Miller time! Go to MillerLight.com slash Dan to find delivery options near you.
Starting point is 00:21:56 Or you can pick up some Miller Light pretty much anywhere they sell beer. Celebrate responsibly, Miller Brewing Company, Milwaukee, Wisconsin, 96 calories and 3.2 carbs per 12 ounces, fewer calories and carbs than premium regular beer. You got here right now, my friends over at Simply Safe are extending their massive Black Friday deal
Starting point is 00:22:15 for our Levitard show listeners. Simply Safe is the home security I trust to keep my home and family safe. I've been telling you that for years. This is your last chance to protect your home at Simply Safe's lowest prices of the year. Simply Safe is a new way to protect your home that stops intruders before they break into your home. Old school systems only take action once someone is already inside your home. That's too late. Simply Safe's active
Starting point is 00:22:39 guard outdoor protection changes the game by preventing crime before it even happens. Simply Safe is extending its massive Black Friday deal for our listeners this week only. You can take 50% off any new system with a select professional monitoring plan. This is your last chance to claim their best offer of the year. Head to simplisafe.com slash DLB to claim your discount and make sure your home is safe this season. Don't wait, this offer won't last long. Keep your home, your family, and your peace of mind protected with Simply Safe.
Starting point is 00:23:10 There's no safe like Simply Safe. The Emirates NBA Cup is here. You can win big getting in on all the action at DraftKings Sportsbook, an official sports betting partner of the NBA. They're sure to be rim, rattlin', slams, and no-look passes that bring the crowd to their feet. Get behind your favorite players and the prop bets you can make on DraftKings, the home of NBA player props.
Starting point is 00:23:33 New DraftKings customers bet just five bucks to get 150 in bonus bets if your bet wins. Score big with DraftKings Sportsbook. Every point counts. Download the DraftKings Sportsbook app and use code Dan, that's code Dan, D-A-N, for new customers to get 150 bonus bets if your bet wins when you bet just five bucks only on DraftKings the crown is
Starting point is 00:23:52 yours gambling problem call 1-800-GAMBLER in New York call 877-8-HOPE-NY or text HOPE-NY 467369 in Connecticut help is available for problem gambling call 888-789-7777 or visit ccpg.org. Please play responsibly. On behalf of Boothill Casino and Resort in Kansas, 21 and over, age and eligibility varies by jurisdiction. Void in Ontario, bet must win to receive reward. Bonus bets expire 168 hours after issuance. For additional terms and responsible gaming resources, see dkng.co.slash.bball.
Starting point is 00:24:26 Don LeBattard! Is there Back in My Day? There is actually. What? Were you not going to tell anyone? It's a Tuesday! Wait a minute. It's a Tuesday.
Starting point is 00:24:34 Guys, it's a Tuesday. Stugats! Here's your guide, Greg Cody, with Back in My Day. Okay, here it is. Great Cody, we back in my day. OK, here it is. Adultery. We are back. I can't wait for this one. This is the Dunlavatar show with the StuGats.
Starting point is 00:25:10 You guys feel better you produce Greg Cody. Greg Cody can be a reluctant star and it seems like you guys are unsatisfied because he's not grateful for all the things you guys do for him. Well we hyped it up instead of it being a surprise it became this like weird battle of wills where he just didn't want to give me the the consideration to even proofread it I don't know I kind of liked it and then he just took the end and he's just like okay I'll do it yeah well that was well there was also a second half of the pressure yeah well all I was asking to do is proofread it to make sure it was it was to your liking okay I did by the way I want to melt the butter pablo and put it on popcorn how How about that? No, you had it to me live on the air.
Starting point is 00:25:48 After I finally read it, I'm like, this is good. I like the sub words you use. I guess you didn't hear me when I moved your headphone and I said, please proofread this as if it's to your liking. He was angry. He was too angry. This is what happens when he gets angry.
Starting point is 00:26:00 Like, Chris, this is. I'm familiar with how he gets, which is why, like, it could have been funnier if we just did it. Chris, you. Or if he proofreaded it and that proofreaded it. You wanted it done on Dan Patrick is what you wanted. Yeah, which we had the window if he proofread it. But this is what happens with Greg.
Starting point is 00:26:16 It is both when you ask him to do something that might serve him and also when he stubbornly thinks he's right about something and then just sort of entrenches on it. Surely Earline, his wife, would have a great many complaints. Greg will come around to your way of thinking, but he's going to fight your tooth and nail on helping himself. Yeah, it was weird. He's just going to be stubborn and then when you get inside the anger, there's no
Starting point is 00:26:40 talking to him. It's just, bleep off, now I'm angry. You can't get anywhere near him He was he heard enemy of fun while being in everything you just heard he was being the enemy of fun Well, you described me properly. Hmm, you know, I'm not gonna debate any of that People see my stubbornness of one of my loving qualities What are you talking about my wife does And you know it. What are you talking about?
Starting point is 00:27:03 Yeah, my wife does. No, she doesn't. I was caught up in this weird, quite the opposite. I don't believe that. I was caught up in this weird power struggle when this whole back row was writing in service of you to put you over and make you look great. I know, but-
Starting point is 00:27:15 You didn't trust us. But in your mind, it also would have been funny if you tricked me and I thought I was reading, you know- No, no, Greg. You don't trust us. Greg, that's what I was trying to tell you. Lesson learned here. You don't trust them. When Mike puts Angie a piece what I was trying to tell you. Lesson learned here. When Mike
Starting point is 00:27:26 puts a piece of paper, just read it blindly. Yes, moreover, I wanted to thank you for your challenge because, yeah, old guy reading Fifty Shades of Grey, that's funny, we established that with Poppy. You issued a challenge to make it funnier, to make it more palatable, and then we accepted the challenge. You didn't even trust us enough, even though we worked hard to proofread it. So you've just been handed another sheet of paper blindly that you have not been able to proofread. Now Chris handed him that piece of paper, not Mike. That's a different thing, I don't know.
Starting point is 00:27:55 Well, I'm now gonna hand it to you. I also have not read this and we would like, I guess, you to read this without... No, I know that look. Okay. I'm not doing that. I know that look. No, I know that look. I'm not, I'm not doing that. I know that look. No, proofread it, it would be really funny if I just gave you the lyrics and I had it on my back.
Starting point is 00:28:13 I have the sheet of paper right now and I think the funniest way to do this is for him to now trust you and read what's been placed without proofreading it. But I sold Greg on if Mike hands you a piece of paper. So I think you need to give that to Mike. Mike needs to come back in here and hand it to you. Alright, no, who can give it to you that you would trust and read it blindly for the first
Starting point is 00:28:33 time? Based on this setup, nobody. And let me tell you what's going to happen. I'm going to read it extra slow, and if I come upon a word that starts with a V as in victory, I'm going to crumble up the paper and throw it like a softball that's the word like that's the one word any there's a number of words I can think of you gotta give us vulva vulva is allowed isn't it Volvo the car yes there's a number of words that I would not say wolf that's why you need us to write for you hey Pablo I want to I want to put that
Starting point is 00:29:02 butter on popcorn I Greg, two jokes. I mean, Greg, two terrible jokes showing people what it sounds like when you're not produced correctly. A Volvo car. You're the one, somebody else read that, you read it. I can read it if you guys think that will be funny. I want to trust the producers of this show.
Starting point is 00:29:24 Look, I have lost trust the producers of this show. Look, I have lost control of the show today. I'm going to owe Dan Patrick an apology when I get home. Oh, geez. Wow. There are a number of things that I wanted to talk about today that we have not gotten to, okay? I'd be curious about all of the following, okay?
Starting point is 00:29:39 We didn't get to any of them, and I want to know whether you guys are interested in any of them. Jamie Foxx know whether you guys are interested in any of them. Jamie Foxx has a new special coming out. I really want to see what he has to say in it. Okay, Kendrick Lamar and Father John Misty is a story that I want to get to and just all the Kendrick Lamar stuff. I want to get to Anthony Jeselnik's special. I want to get to the Florida Panthers making the New York Rangers break everything up.
Starting point is 00:30:04 I want to get to the idea of the heat trading Jimmy Butler. I haven't had an ability to get to any of these things today. Tyreek Hill having 10 babies now. Mike Tomlin 18 straight winning seasons. I can't get to any of this stuff because of what you guys are wanting to talk about today. Ray Lewis possibly being the FIU coach. Paul Millsap retiring when I associate him with only one thing ever. 16 year career. He was still playing? I think a lot of people had that reaction yesterday and he retired in the middle of a season which strikes me as unusual. I don't know where he actually was at the end but I associate him. With one
Starting point is 00:30:42 game. It's not just one game, Stugots, against the Miami Heat in a regular season. That Paul Milsap game to me, when I heard of his retirement yesterday, reminded me of a time I longed for so much, which is game 17 of a regular season, mattering in any way at all. Like as I'm trying to maintain interest in the NBA season
Starting point is 00:31:08 and I'm like, you know, how am I going to talk about the Heat? They're vastly less interesting than they have been for a long time and yeah BAM's falling apart but they're a middling team and they're probably going to trade Jimmy Butler to, you know, Houston and Dallas want him but you're not going to get very much in exchange for Jimmy Butler that's going to make you better right now. Like I don't think, I don't think Dallas or Houston have pieces that are better than Jimmy Butler as a piece. You'd be trading away today for tomorrow because you'd be acknowledging your today is no longer good enough.
Starting point is 00:31:41 Millsap last played in 2021. So he was hoping that, you know, if he hung around long enough, someone would sign him, no one signed him, so he decided to retire. Okay, so he wasn't on a team anywhere, but he was collecting money, and for some reason in the middle of that contract, not playing for three years now, he is retiring. But that's, which of these stories do you want to get to, or do we want to stay in Greg Cody's anger and? 50 shades of Greg well the way all this broke is if it was just organically read on the air We could do that, but now we've built this up the execution was good
Starting point is 00:32:15 It was funny, and I'm reading the script and we did this in separate segments We have the expectation of funny now, and while this is funny It's not funnier than the first one in my opinion. So we're gonna get back in the lab and write something that you think is funny. That's how trust is established. You see what I'm saying?
Starting point is 00:32:31 Very well done. And all of those things that I mentioned, I didn't even mention that Greg Cody is also dying to talk about his Hall of Fame baseball vote, which he is very proud of. And the fact that Wu Tang Clan sent him some sneakers that is funny because he's 70 years old and now Wu Tang is in business with Greg Cody.
Starting point is 00:32:52 Funnier when, because they did make us, they made us members of the Clan in Las Vegas. You guys do remember that they made us honorary members of the Clan. You're gonna wanna throw which clan from them? That's exactly the phrasing I want, thank you. I was gonna let it sit there by itself. And Greg Cody has been sent Wu Tang shoes
Starting point is 00:33:14 that are cool, but this room is not qualified to tell you what is stylistically cool. So Jeremy, Jessica, Mike, the shoes that- Have you seen my slacks? They're linen. The shoes that Wu-Tang sent Greg and Cody. Whoa, look at this. What do you guys think of these shoes? My wife liked them.
Starting point is 00:33:32 She's got a lot more. I think it's bullshit that I didn't get a pair, Dan. Yeah. A lot more style. Those are nice. The Bihaw 3 did sing Baby I Like It Raw to them in Vegas. Yep, same industry, yeah.
Starting point is 00:33:42 Only the lead singer is getting shoes. Baby I like it raw. Not listening to your complaints at all. Self-involved as every lead singer is. Oh, I can't read Fifty Shades of Grey, but I'll do that again. Let's see what size they are. Are they the right size for Greg? What size shoe are you, Greg? I'm voting against that.
Starting point is 00:34:01 I am about 11 and a half. He does like it raw. Mm-hmm. What size are those Greg? Close enough. They look so good. Yay! Eleven and a half! Wow! They got it right! What were the odds? These fit me perfectly. Should I try them on? Yes! He is so delighted. The gift we've given him is as the center of attention as a gift-getter. Like right now, he's not even doing show right now. He's just enjoying his self-involvement. And I'm enjoying him enjoying his self-involvement. He's swimming in it. Like he thinks, he doesn't care whether this is entertaining, he's entertained because someone has given him something cool for free.
Starting point is 00:34:42 Like this is how it's going to be at the gates of heaven for. Jesus Christ. It's tougher than a sneaker. I can't even get these on. You gotta like loosen up the laces down low. You probably haven't wore high tops in how long? I haven't worn high tops. Last time I wore high tops,
Starting point is 00:34:57 they were kids. Give me a favor. Greg, let's see if we can multitask, old man. Give us all your Hall of Fame takes while trying to put the sneaker on. Let's see how long that takes. I mean, I made the sneaker on. Let's see how long that takes. I mean, I made a lot of notes. All right.
Starting point is 00:35:08 Let's see how long all of that takes. Let's see how windy. Make sure the microphone travels. Wait a second. He has Hall of Fame notes, Dan. Greg. Greg. Let's get notes.
Starting point is 00:35:17 These can't be 11 and 1 halfs. Tight? Unless my feet have grown overnight. You want me to help you? My feet are still growing. Putting on high tops. I'll help you. You should help him. Hold on. Everyone slow down. No help. No help. No, I'm good. I'll get them. Greg, do all of this at once though. We've got, look,
Starting point is 00:35:34 we've got four minutes left in the show. The struggle of you giving us all your Hall of Fame takes while trying to put on the show, put it on the shoe, I want to listen to all of that. Okay. I'm going to vote for Billy Wagner again. I always vote for Sheffield and this is the last time he's on the ballot. Really? I always vote for A-Rod and Manny Ramirez. The new guys who are absolutely first ballot Hall of Famers are Ichiro of course and CC Sabathia. I have never voted for Andrew Jones, but I'm gonna give him a long hard look. This shoe fits me like a glove.
Starting point is 00:36:11 Wow. Put on the second one and give us the rest of your Hall of Fame analysis. I can't believe he's never voted for Andrew Jones. That's insane. What'd you say? You're gonna give it a long hard thought? I'm gonna give it a long hard look, baby.
Starting point is 00:36:25 He does. Sounds like something out of 50 Shades of Grey. A long hard look. Alright, listen. What else? Chase Utley? Nah. Forget about it. My man.
Starting point is 00:36:35 Beltran? Sorry. Clothes don't count. I'm getting Mr. Rogers vibes right now. This is taking me back a little bit. Felix Hernandez? Nope. Yeah, King Felix. You know what? Maybe eventually not a first ballot guy. I don't like each your rose a first ballot guy. I gotta be honest Feels a little xenophobic no we love each row each row is a first ballot guy a hundred percent these shoes
Starting point is 00:36:59 I'm floating on these Mike. I gotta tell you you're lucky. I don't know what that means These are great. Thank you Wu-Tang Clan. Kick your feet up. Yeah, put your feet up on the table. Kick your feet up, pull the mic closer to you. They look great. Oh, they look great. Especially with the jeans. Can you still get your feet up on the desk? I tell you what, I'm serious. Yeah. These shoes are magical. What do the kids say? what's a good verb for these are neat oh these are sticky the kids say that that's not one of that's also from 50 this shit is gas that was from Lewis I'm a what seriously these are great I love them thank you all I appreciate it Greg when he's constipated
Starting point is 00:37:52 during Thanksgiving I'll be wearing these home yeah anymore Hall fame takes or no I think that about did it I'm you know I only get 10 votes I normally don't use all 10 I do a Riz face work in the Riz face yeah working the Riz like grab your chin like you're really interested in something a little question mark over your lip and then nailed it now say boom boom no I that's all right. No, no that was hotter than anything in 50 shades of gray absolute petrol You've come so far from Volvo also The Greg Cody show featuring Greg Cody Stu gots is the most recent guest Stu Gotz is the most recent guest.
Starting point is 00:38:47 The book signing is canceled for those of you who had made big plans to be there tomorrow night at a church, we're assuming it's an act of God. We like to think of it as postponed, right, Stu Gotz? Yes, exactly. It's gonna be rescheduled? You're promising the listener that it's gonna be rescheduled? I love that this all happened because Notre Dame has a cornerback named Christian Gray
Starting point is 00:39:02 that caught a 99 yard pick six. What a show. You never know what's gonna happen on this show, Dan. That is right, Jim. How are you feeling right now, Greg? I feel great. You are radiant. Look at him, just a celebration of self.
Starting point is 00:39:16 So upset an hour ago. I know, so angry at us. Way to go, Greg. These are terrific. This is a new and improved down-leve-tar show with the Stugarts. Gamble on by DraftKings. Howdy folks it's Mike and guess what it's Miller time. The holiday season brings around lots of
Starting point is 00:39:35 joy and also lots of family, lots of family gatherings at your home. You're inviting people in there and you want to make sure they're happy. Why don't you make their time at your place a Miller time. Pass around that beautiful white can of Triple Hop's brewed Miller Lite and watch the smiles adorn those faces. Make Miller Lite the official drink, the official beverage of your holiday get-together. You know why? Because it is a perfect beer for the holiday season. You'll take a sip, you'll look around, and you'll think immediately, yeah, I made the right call. It's got taste that you can depend on.
Starting point is 00:40:10 No games, no gimmicks, just great beer for people who like beer. Making memories at year-end gatherings? Tastes like Miller time! Go to MillerLight.com slash Dan to find delivery options near you. Or you can pick up some MillerLight pretty much anywhere they sell beer.
Starting point is 00:40:23 Celebrate responsibly, Millering Company Milwaukee, Wisconsin 96 calories and 3.2 carbs per 12 ounces. Fewer calories and carbs than premium regular beer.

There aren't comments yet for this episode. Click on any sentence in the transcript to leave a comment.