The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz - Hour 2: Greg Cote's Equine Nostrils (feat. Iliza Shlesinger)

Episode Date: March 19, 2025

Greg Cote gives us the five teams he's watching this tournament and Don't Look Now slowly turns into Lookie Here Right Now. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

You're listening to Giraffe King's Network. Now's a good time to remember where Tequila's story truly began. In 1795, Cuervo invented Tequila. Cuervo. What are you doing here? Cuervo. Anytime someone says Cuervo, I show up. Well, I do know that to be true, but even during and reads like Cuervo

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Dan's still ashamed of that last segment, so he's not back yet. Yeah, should be. You had on your list of topics today, top five teams you're watching in the tournament. Yes. It's not your top five teams, but just teams you're interested in watching.

Explain this process to us. Well, I'll be interested in watching five particular teams for a certain reason. I'm gonna let you guys figure out what the running theme of this list is. Are they like number five? We can do like a countdown? Yeah.

All right, let's go. All right, number five. From the first four play-in round they played tonight American University led by third leading scorer Greg Jones Let's see where we're going with this. Number four. The Patriots. Number three seed in the east Wisconsin coached by the incomparable Greg Gard Wisconsin, coached by the incomparable Greg Gard. This one's a one by a lot. Number three, nine seed in the south, Creighton, coached by Greg McDermott.

How they divvy up those electoral votes. Kind of one note this bit, but all right. Number two, eight seed in the Midwest, Gonzaga, led by sixth leading scorer Ben Gregg. Reaching for that one. And number one, ten seed in the South Region, the New Mexico Lobos, because bows back bows. Coached by Richard Pitino. Yeah, how about that? He reshaped his career after losing his job over in Minnesota. How about that?

Lobos are back. Lobos are back, really good. Jack. Jack. Didn't we have somebody from the Lobos on our podcast? The one that you and I do? I'm not exactly sure. No, no, no, no.

So many podcasts these days. Like the mayor, I think the mayor of the town or something was on our podcast, bragging about the Lobos. I don't know on Greg. How much of the NC would NCW tournament? Are you actually gonna watch? I'm gonna be very honest with you. I Start paying real attention when it gets to the sweet 16 like like I I want the wheat separate the champ So you don't like the weekend that everybody likes right because this is the one Thursday Friday's hit, baby I mean, yeah, this is the one where you just get games games games games games games I know I slow down after the first weekend I don't

need that many games you know and I think Cinderella is a fallacy in the NCAA like like the the 16 beating the one has happened what three times in history like like I don't rely on that I want good teams survivors you know when it gets done the sweet 16 certainly of the elite eight that's when I really start dialing in it just I love when there's so many games that you're trying to figure out do I have true TV I don't know where is it it's like oh channel 374 it's like I didn't even know that what's on there time on our tradition of seeing impractical jokers. Yeah

Editing that was every break literally I woke up on my couch at 2 a.m. This morning because I had fallen asleep At a boy and practical jokers on it was great. What shows that you don't it's these four guys He'll find out soon enough. Okay. Well, no, cuz they're not gonna be on true TV Well the time he starts it's amazing that he doesn't know about it just because of like once a year We all get inundated with impractical j's ads, but he's watching the women's tournament That one's on mostly I tell you what and I'm not alone And it wasn't just Caitlin Clark either or Angel Reese, but last year was the first year That I personally was as interested or more interested in the women's and see the ways than the men's

i'd just find it more compelling the story lines were better uh... and and this year i was thinking it would fall off the table because caitlin was gone this year i i think the moment be jessica what do you think i think the momentum of the women's game has sustained i think it's as good as last year. I'm not a father, but I can attest to that. I read that ESPN women's basketball ratings

were up this season, so still climbing, which is something that I said last year when everyone's like, oh, after Kaelyn Clark goes to WMA, no one's gonna watch anymore, blah, blah, blah, no. It's still interesting. I think this year's gonna be great because there's a lot of teams that could win. And there's a lot of stars, could win and there's a lot of

Stars but juju Watkins. Yes is a star page Becker's is a star Hannah Hidalgo Olivia miles or stars Lauren Betts Like there's a ton of household names and women's basketball Cameron Brink from where I'm standing That was a good try by you though, it was you know what no bad That was a good try by you though. It was you know what? No bad To be honest though. I don't think he can name a current male NC double right right I I That's why I'm not correct. I'm He knows one Duke player the story of the tournament is

Play that a boy will he play in the opener should they hold him out until the round of 16? How are they gonna handle that I think women's college basketball is easier to follow Will he play in the opener should they hold him out until the round of 16? How are they going to handle that? I think women's college basketball is easier to follow. I think they do a better job of marketing their stars and also there's fewer teams that have a legit chance to win the championship and they're actually I think fairly covered well in the sport. It's unavoidable if you follow sports to know exactly what South Carolina is doing, what

Juju Watkins is doing, what the top upper echelon of stars are doing in that sport. Whereas college basketball feels a little bit more random. You know the Cooper Flags of the world, but the teams that have a real chance, it's, you know, there's just more of them. So I, for that reason, I can kind of tangentially follow women's college basketball much easier

than I can follow the men's game. Yeah, and I think the rise in the women's game has been just magnificent in the last few years. I can only speak for myself. There was a time when it was all about the men's tournament for me. I barely paid any attention to the women's tournament. Now I think them as comparable competitions,

every bit as good as as each other so it's Go women. It's been great Greg. So you're gonna not be watching tomorrow. I actually love that. You know why? Don't look now we got oh Sorry, I shouldn't have said that I shouldn't have said what happened. It's time for a new game Don't look now This is where you close your eyes dad. Yeah, Greg. No, yeah. Don't look now. This is where you close your eyes, dad. Yeah, Greg, do not look. Yeah, don't look.

Love how you had to put down your coffee to not look. You could just close your eyes. You don't have to cover your face like that. I got two hands and two eyes. Let me make sure I'm close to mine here. We can't hear you. All right. What are we not looking at right now, Tony?

All right, so we've got a lot of watching to do, a lot of looking to do. In the next couple of days we got the NCAA tournament, we got hoops, we got a bunch of different things, right? But I'm telling you, don't look now. Nicole Hardman is a packer. Wow! Anybody interested? Who knew? What do we think that means?

That was the guy when he was on the Chiefs. We thought he was the next Tyree Hill. He could be something. don't look now your eyes are open Greg the whole thing is don't look oh yeah okay good thank you yeah I have not been able to shake that last segment off of me welcome back though were you hiding in the bathroom I was ashamed that was sinking into my own shame well Dan don't look now but after resigning T Higgins and Jamar Chase Joe Burrow said we've got the right guys.

Wow. What a comment. What else is he going to say? Great quote. What else is he going to say? Is it a great quote? Is it a great quote? Very succinct. Dad, if your eyes are clearly open, but just being blocked by a piece of paper, that's looking. I'm not looking at a piece of paper. Not looking, Chris.

This is very good. It's giving me Miami Heat, the power of friendship vibes. Like, I'm not. I know you you have the right guys on offense, but that wasn't the problem exactly Don't look now BG Brandon Graham officially retires from the Eagles Wow 15 years in the NFL. Why can't we look at that? Be respectful wouldn't he want that look that respect dance back dance shut your eyes Look at that. Be respectful, Dan. Wouldn't he want that look there?

Be respectful. Dan's back, Dan, shut your eyes. Dan, do not look. Be respectful about BG and Brandon Graham. Don't look now, but Mike Ryan is being forcibly restrained on the couch. Who's looking at that? Not me.

OK, just making sure, because you said that. I don't know how did you. He's not looking, which is the problem. OK. Oh, god. He's on the move. Another one here, Dan. I think this one's really important.

And the last one here, don't look now. Patriots signed free agent center Grady Bradbury Filling a major need on their offensive line. That's not worth looking at don't look now It's presented by smirnoff the world number the world's number one vodka. Please drink responsibly That's what I said you are looking so you I think so Grady. Did I say Grady? I don't know you weren't looking I wasn't looking all right guys. We got to do better than that We've got to do better than we've done for the last 30 minutes in a great hour I'm gonna say like 12 years, but then you said 30 minutes. I want a competing bit called looky here. Why 12 years

I figure 12 like when you started ESPN, maybe I don't know I am feeling I don't know the timeline I looky here is where you want to play. Yeah, looky here. I actually don't hate it Clear spin-off to don't look now looky here a totally different game. I gotta come up with topics though dad Yeah, that's off the top of my head. I got a storyboard in my own mind, but looky here I'm informing people about something that they might you can look now. Yeah, Mike Mike Mike Yeah, you can look at we're on to look at you. It's totally different Mike Don't look now. You got to wear a blindfold looky here. You're allowed to look right Greg. Looky here. Did you see Tua? Partying at the club. I did not look Lookie here. Less partying, more winning.

I can hear people screaming. No, it's not don't look now anymore. It's lookie here now. It's lookie here. You're allowed to you're now allowed to look. We've changed. We've got a spinoff. Lookie here.

North Carolina is underrated and deserve to make the tournament. That that would be an example. That's the slow report. Yeah, that would have been my lookie here from yesterday. No, but that's not. Had we debuted it yesterday. Okay, but what if we were doing it right now? What if we were doing lookie here right now?

Can you come up with something that, see this is, look, we are shaking at the end of a work week. That's, look. It's Wednesday. I just got here. No, no, I wanna paint this picture so that people understand. Well, it's a Wednesday that feels like a Thursday because we rehearse on day.

It's not even just that though. The old war horse, Greg Cody, we've been riding this pack mule now for months, multiple times a week. When he gets to the end of the second work shift, he's been beaten down. Correct. I know this. Yeah. And so- I'm slump-shouldered. the end of the second work shift, he's been beaten down. Correct.

I know this. Yeah. And so- Slump shoulder. You're hurting here and you're giving us the best that you've got. Right. But it's why a couple of hours ago,

it's you in the batter's box. It's a cleanup header. There's not a lot left in the tank at this point in the week for you. Can tank oris. See, not a lot left. Looky here. He's gonna give you the best of what he's got, but it's there's not a lot left

But right now based on the news of the day Can we get from the football take guy whatever it is that you want to do Cam Ward's number one? Aaron Rodgers the Vikings don't want him you can give me a looky here right now and debut the game Producing yourself if you've still got anything in the tank. Okay. All right Don't want him you can give me a looky here right now and debut the game producing yourself If you've still got anything in the tank, okay All right. What do you want like three five? I just want looky here and whatever it is you want to do with looky here to really sell this new game that You just invented don't look now has been replaced by looky here. Looky here

This is not a great nfl draft for quarterbacks cam ward at number one Even he is not assured of being a big star. I'm looking at that. Lookie here, the way they're playing lately, should the Miami Heat even want to make the playoffs? I say tank a little bit. Give me a mini tank, finish 11th, avoid the purgatory of the play-in.

Don't they have an unprotected pick? What is that? He hasn't considered that. Pick, schmick. Again, that's a totally different conversation. We're not looking at that right now. What we're looking at is making sure that they don't make the playoffs

to then figure out whatever's next. A couple of years ago, they could have had one Benyama though. Good point. Thank you. Well, he's been making it for a long time. Tony, I think debuted. I think that was the original looky here for Tony Was it not that you were suggesting that that heat playoff run against the Bucks that it should have started with a tank for?

the time Mike Haunting me he's looking he's looking now. He's looking Here you were look you gave close you gave him Mind my personal space. He's rattled and he's losing energy as this goes. Zazzle is gonna be brought in. Look, it's not easy to replace the Hall of Famer Stugatz.

We tried. What just happened there? I turned into an Eskimo and rubbed his nose. Did Mike Ryan just... I don't know if we call it that anymore. Did Mike Ryan... Why, you can't say Eskimo? Please stop. There's an ice cream-

Baaaaaap! There's an ice cream sandwich called the Eskimo Pie. What are we gonna change the name of that to? Hopefully not. The Eskimo people are great people. Alright, Dad, just, you don't have to quadruple down. You've said enough. They don't all live in igloos, by the way.

I'm not making a stereotype. You're making it better. Thank you. Dan, to answer your question, yes, that was the original look you had. No, let's just sit in it. Tone, just back off. Just trying to help.

No, thank you, thank you. It's on the ball in the air. No, but this is what I'm, look, this is what's- Off the shingled roof. You can't say Eskimo anymore. Stop saying it. All right, I have been falling apart for 45 straight minutes.

We really have. Okay, but wait a minute, you're not making anything better and I just need you to shut up for a second, okay? I simply, what I need most from you right now is just silence, okay? Why don't you play Dan's Terrible Question again? What is the worst part of the life? This guy's telling me to shut up. I didn't see it because it was out of the corner

of my eye, but I'm pretty sure that Greg Cody just rubbed one of those giant nostrils across the face of Mike Ryan who could not stay in character Because of how it is it felt to have one of those giant nostrils graze him is that what? I do have big nostrils equine We've not taken a better picture than that. Please put that up behind me. Put it where I am. That nostril. Look there you can see Mike Ryan trying to stay in character.

It looks phot Photoshopped. It does. It can't have really happened. That can't smell good to Mike. And vice versa. We're back, Dan. Rough couple minutes, but we're back. Well, we do nothing better than sink into the incompetence.

It's available so frequently. It's so available. Hold on, let me get my head out of the way so that, yeah. There it is. They can put that on the tombstone of our show and I'd be good with it. I'd be totally good. All of that, Mike, the smells, the scents, where you're holding your breath like that, Greg Cody, that close to you is, that Greg Cody, that close to you is,

that nostril that close to you is substantive. It would take a lot to make me stand down. I'm not saying that I stood down. I know Locker have the most awkward stutter of this segment. Dan, thank you. I was lost for words earlier when Greg said that Cameron Brink was still at Stanford. And I tried to let him slide and I was like, words earlier when Greg said that Cameron Brink was still at Stanford,

and I tried to let him slide, and I was like, it's fine, he's trying. It's not been a good hour for Greg, it's been moving a little bit fast. I did wanna ask you guys, because this one struck me yesterday as something that we didn't quite explore enough. Billy Gill and Greg Cody being against the fun

of the Savannah bananas, just against 65,000 people coming out to a football stadium and filling it to see an invention, that an invention of creativity that has crashed the sports market and fills the stadium in a way that's lunacy for minor league sports and Greg's against it. And it also represents like breaking through on just, hey, sports can be fun.

And Greg's against it. And Billy's against it. And I'm like, why would you be that aggressively against something just because it's popular and it's popular because people are just enjoying something that's kind of goofy and fun and silly. Yeah I'm against it as the unwarranted phenomenon it has become you know it's it's it's a clown show disguised as sports it's not baseball you know it's family entertainment. I get it.

I get it why kids want to see it. It's a circus. It's a carnival. That's all it is. I don't even put it in the category of sports. Maybe if I were eight years old, 10 years old, I would be enraptured with it. But as an adult, I'm going, really?

People love that? It's rare to have an unwarranted phenomenon. In fact, I'm scanning my brain. I think the only unwarranted phenomenon was that 1U2 album that showed up on everybody's phone. Good point. But it just seems like such a strange thing to shake your fist at in sports that

Harlem Globetrotters to you know, that's what he was saying that his point yesterday was that was yes that he also aggressively Harlem Globetrotters, okay But but the Harlem Globetrotters had their day and I know they're still around technically They still tour and everything and now the bananas are but obviously they aren't what they used to be I thought we as a society had outlived that kind of a clown show technically they still tour and everything. And now the bananas are. But obviously they aren't what they used to be. I thought we as a society had outlived that kind of a clown show, that's all. We did, and we pivoted.

Yeah, our society so evolved. Now it's white guys and baseball. They went to a sport that needed it though, right? I mean, baseball is slow, so it's like we can do something with this sport. Right. It takes a lot of skill, but let's do bells and whistles. You love it, like with your show.

Every episode you're like, can we get a few bells and whistles? It's all made better by a guy on stilts. How's he running? How's he turning second? A guy on stilts. He's on stilts. Put it on the poll, at Leviton Show. Guy on stilts make everything better.

Greg Cody's still mad at Billy Corbin and said that coward jackass didn't show up. It's true. Eliza Schlesinger is next. The Iceman. Hey friends, it's Jerobar here, and I'm here to tell you all about Boost Mobile, which is now a legit nationwide 5G network. So I must take a break from the jokes here for a second and put on my serious voice. Because I would never ever joke about a 5G network that has invested billions building 5G towers across the country.

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I've always admired that about you, that you have no problems whatsoever professing your love. Well, the thing is, I got a new wife now. Me and Bianca didn't make it. So I moved on, we moved on. It was for the better for both of us. Stugots. Things just got a little awkward there.

So let me be the first on this show to congratulate you on the new wife, Vince. Congratulations on feeling whole, feeling complete. Let's talk tailgating. Don't feel awkward, buddy. You know a lot of people do. No, I don't. I mean, Dan does.

It's much too late for that, Vince. I appreciate you soothing me in this regard, but I already feel terribly awkward. And then my teammate comes to my defense with not a question, but just a healthy congratulations. And the further pointing out of that awkwardness because he's always good for me in those spots. I'm also thinking of divorce Vince,

after many, many years, 18 years, with a partner who does things like that to you. This is the Don Lebathorpe Show with the StuGards. Hello, Eliza. It's nice to see you again. Nice to see you again, Dan. She was on South Beach Sessions, if you have not seen her, and she's got a new special out, a different animal.

It's currently streaming on Amazon Prime she's on tour now with US and international dates through the end of 2025 and she's got shows in Florida all of next week and March 28th at Hard Rock in Hollywood March 29th at Hard Rock Orlando and March 30th Hard Rock in Tampa you can find dates and tickets at Eliza.com Eliza Schlesinger with us Thank you for joining us. You could catch her on South Beach Sessions. We had a long-form conversation How's the tour going? It's going great. It's wrapping up after Florida Those are our last US dates and then the new tour kicks off in the fall Randomly in Estonia, but I don't expect your listeners to make it out to that show. So the tour is going great

I appreciate being on here. This ring light is working overtime for this interview with me. How do you feel about touring? It takes you away from the family. Sometimes you can bring the family with you obviously, but how do you feel about it? You know, it's, this is my job. And so it changes when you become a parent. I decided as a treat slash punishment, my daughter gets to come with me to Florida this

time. I lured her there by telling her there's going to be a lot of fruit and tropical fruit in the green room. So a little baby has never been more excited to be at a casino. Last time that I spoke to you, you avoided generally social media commentary, but the praise for your comedy special has been strong. Are you still avoiding it? Yeah, I took Instagram off my phone

and my social media team looks at it. So I think social media, especially as a comic, should be a one-way street. Like I do the output, but we're closed for the feedback because at 42 we know the compliments and the insults are always regenerating. So I'll just avoid those for the feedback because at 42 we know the compliments and the insults are always regenerating. So I'll just avoid those for the time being. What do you love about this special?

Obviously you are now a veteran. You have polished these things. Do you feel about this better than you have about others? I know you sort of have to say that, but what have you learned? You know, as a mother of two, I just turned 42. I think this comedy is all about giving people a really good time. You know who I am when you sign up to come see my show. You know that you're going to get a little bit of insight wrapped in comedy, but I think

we're all kind of going through a weird tough time just with everything going on. So I think more than anything now this is incisive, raucous, a lot of fun, it's very physical. I really do think it's fun for the whole family. I don't know if you can bring your whole family to a casino but I think there is really something for everyone because I genuinely want to include everyone in my stand-up so if you leave feeling offended maybe you shouldn't be watching standup at all. Ooh, that's actually a great segue to something I wanted to ask you. We have male comedians come on

our show all the time, and I'm a huge fan of yours by the way. But they come on and they always make degrading comments about women that we just let slide. So I was wondering if you could say something degrading about men. Yeah. Oh, it's in the special. So don't you worry. It's actually baked into my body of work. Look, I really think as a real feminist, my job is to hate everyone equally. And I think that truthfully, you know, I always want women to leave feeling good from my shows. You know, I am one and I see the things that we're up against. But you don't have feminism without men agreeing. And no man wants to buy a ticket to a show

to be told that you're a problem or to make you need to feel bad. So I do believe in bringing everyone in and insulting everyone equally. And you know, we have an audience that 60% men, so I'm sorry, 40% men. So I think they get the memo. But when men degrade women, it just reeks of like,

I'm sorry you didn't have sex in high school, and you're like still bitter about that. Is this an especially good time, or an especially dangerous time to get into whatever you would consider to be political? Incidentally, you're talking to somebody who didn't actually have sex in high school because he lost his virginity at 23, we learned yesterday. 22, actually.

Maybe back in the 20s it was different. No, I'm just kidding. The contraceptions were different back then. It was the 30s, so quit maligning me. My mistake. Oh, it was called The Great Depression for a reason. Yes, it was. I'm not a political comic.

I mean, look, you could probably tell by the tone of my voice like a little bit how I vote, but I believe that people are, we all contain multitudes, and I believe it's a case by case basis and I don't expect people who live in a rural area to agree with people who live in a city. My comedy is never political, it's always social. And I really pride myself on having a really nice mix

of liberal, conservative, queer, you know, your grandpa, whatever. I do a lot of work with our USO. I have a lot of military in our shows. I have a lot of people that span all political spectrums. And I think they keep coming back because there's certain inalienable truths in the comedy that I have. I don't know if my comedy brain is firing on all cylinders, but

people want to feel good and nobody wants to feel bad for an hour for who they are or how they vote or what they think And so I always believe in digestible feminism and and that's why we that's why we play, Florida Can you explain to us what the feeling is with a special coming out? You've been sculpting this work for a year or longer. I would assume so is it relief? Is it excitement? Is it excitement? Is it nerves? Is it all of it?

Dan, you ask such elegant questions and I love that you said sculpting because it really is a piece of art. And I guess it's my seventh special. So like I've been here before, I know the feeling, but there is an excitement of this like thing that you crafted and you have to, as an artist, just realize once you release it to the public, it's no longer mine. Like I stand behind everything that I said but it's

up for people to interpret and digest regurgitate reject embody however they want to and so I'm excited to see the way the fans receive it over the next year and I'm excited to see what those jokes turn into for the next special so it's it's a roller coaster. Are these political times good for you though comedy wise not any other way? I feel like political times always equate to a rough economy so you know that's why I'm like begging people to come out to see me at the Hard Rocks. You can see a show and see Christina Aguilera's shoe right next to me. I think good or bad

political time people still need to laugh. And, you know, I'm not getting up there and giving a full expose on the war in Ukraine. You know, people, if anything, more than anything, need a way to get away from their problems and step into a dark room and laugh with a bunch of strangers who may not be like you. Maybe meet your wife there, who knows? So comedy always is good business. What are the three comedians or comedians that you will check out whatever it is they're doing with a degree of enthusiasm, excitement, you'll make sure to find it and you know just admire it? I can't say I would make sure because that would suggest that I have the free time to like watch full hours of stand-up but I always enjoy if I'm at a show and we're all doing spots, I'll always come back in

the room to watch Sebastian Maniscalco. I think he's very funny. If Cat Williams is doing something, I know that's like so random, I've always been a fan. I'd have to think of the other one, but I will tell you, I do make sure to watch a lot of younger comics and I produced several 10-minute specials called Eliza's Locals, which you can watch on Hulu, and we just did the second season, which will be out on Amazon coming up this year.

So I'm always down for watching new talent, helping to shape and hone and polish jokes. And so those are the things that take up my time. One of the things that I've been interested in and Cat Williams spoke of this when he did that Shannon Sharp interview is pointing to the Joe Rogan comedians and he was saying none of those guys are funny but they are running comedy and the amount of popularity that Rogan's guys

are getting and the economy that that is in Austin that now feeds Kill Tony and an assortment of Other things what where is your assessment on? Cat Williams saying I don't like the people that Joe Rogan nights even understanding that I'm asking you a bit of a dangerous Question there. No, I'm not afraid of anything. There's no backlash here I mean people that would be angry at that answer are gonna be angry regardless. Look, comedy is a meritocracy and you don't have to like who's successful

but you can't knock the fact that it happens, you know? And especially now with the internetification of comedy, comics have more access to finding their audience. There's no Kingmakers anymore. You don't have to go on The Tonight Show and be anointed. Greg, I know you miss those days. You don't have to go on Star Search. It doesn't have to be because you had this special set. So you are finding comics who are able to find their niche audience and do really well. And they're not even household names. So that's good. And that's bad. But I don't think you benefit ever from coming out and saying who you really hate and why because even if you're

right it always sounds like sour grapes. I'm curious what you think of the TV series Hacks and how accurate you think it is. It's so accurate, it's so scathingly accurate. I wish I could just get in a room with those writers and be like but how do you know this? She of course reminds me of Joan Rivers, but I remember watching, I watched the whole thing. I was reticent to watch it, because I was like, as a woman who's tried to pitch a show about a female comic, you're always told that no one would watch it.

And then you have Marvelous Miss Maisel and this. So there goes to show you. But when she tried to get her own late night show and she couldn't, I cried watching it. And I think a lot of women cried because we all know that feeling of trying and just being told That you're not right. You're not good enough at all times. So the show it's like a ghost of Christmas future Christmas past like I hope to be that scathingly honest and bitter and

Intelligent and well-dressed when I'm that when I'm Gene Smart's age in that show. There's no more famous story of the way that women can be mistreated in comedy than Joan Rivers being run off the road the moment that she started competing with Johnny Carson after Johnny Carson and helped her in so many ways and she helped him in so many ways. Yeah, I mean, I think when it comes down to,

and for the girl who's there, I'm sorry, I don't know your name, but I'm glad that you're here. I'm glad there's another girl here. I think it comes down to women contain multitudes and do great things. And as much as we get hit against one another, it usually is like a bitter male comic

secretly stepping on your neck. Like I have seen those tantrums in my own interviews. I've had male comics walk out of a podcast. I've had male DJs walk out. I've had men who, you know, I might have the wrong inflection and then all of a sudden they're upset. So we always are told to get this tough skin, but I would give that advice right back.

My name's Lucy, by the way. Lucy, nice to meet you, I'm sorry. I would assume that it is a world of atrophied adolescents close to toddlers is what I would assume the world is. Yeah, I think to criticize these things as a woman, you just get called a bitch. And even when you go on some of these podcasts and you agree with the host you know you're still subjected to the comment section which is why I turned that thing off and so you are

dealing with gigantic children but for some reason if you're smart enough to know that somehow that makes you the problem and so it is this weird catch-22 of like being just smart enough to know the environment but like not being able to comment on it so the answer is make your own money, sell out your own shows, get your own fans as a comic so you don't have to ask anybody for anything. And that is my favorite part of this job is I don't require permission. What do you love and hate about the road? Oh my God, I don't think we have enough time. Um, I love making a kid. This is so dorky,

but like I just did it. I love making a connection. I'll so dorky, but like I just did it. I love making a connection. I'll call it like a butthole type connection in a big airport and walking from one plane onto another. Like you feel like you nailed it. I love that. I love obviously the performing and the fans. I don't love trying to find like a good salad

late night in a city like Buffalo. I don't love missing my family. Um, but I do love the travel and I do love seeing those miles get racked up and I do love being the only woman in first class sometimes. And I love getting to see all the different types of fans all across the world and our country, because it gives me a true working knowledge of this amazing country because it's very easy to sit in somewhere like Los Angeles and live in your bubble although Los Angeles is like 70% Latino so it is pronounced buble but it's very easy to sit

here and have judgments about everyone else but then you go to those cities like I've been to Gary Indiana the murder capital of the world you know you go to Cincinnati you go to New York you go to those cities. Like I've been to Gary, Indiana, the murder capital of the world, you know? You go to Cincinnati, you go to New York, you go to whatever, to get some real context and you realize, oh my God, people are good everywhere. And that's why I don't just like take aim randomly because someone's politically different. Like we are all mostly good people, just trying to like live our lives

and eat some buffalo wings at 2 a.m. Give me some of the moment or a moment on this particular tour where you have been awed by either the size or the emotion of the crowd and compared it to something in your past early in the journey where you were like man I'm a long distance from that catastrophe when I used to tour? Um, I appreciate that question. That would suggest that I have, that I have any gratitude. And as a comic, I don't. I only ever think about the ways that I'm failing.

And I know as a woman, I'm supposed to be like so grateful. I'm never in awe of the size of the crowd because I look at those ticket counts. So I always know what we're walking into. But I will say, um, I brought my daughter to my show in Vancouver, which was incredible. They're always amazing. And she watched from side stage. And at the end, she ran out.

No one told her to, she ran out and I scooped her up. And I was like, oh my gosh. Like, I started talking about like hand jobs and vodka sodas at 21, like getting paid like free chicken fingers at like a bar in Santa Barbara, like wherever, and now there's like a little girl here that I deliberately had. And so that was a weird first.

And I toured pregnant with both kids. So it was, I turned over and I was like, I can't believe that this little girl is here and that I let her stay up till like 11 o'clock, which is really bad parenting. Oh, but that's such a great snapshot that you're describing at the top of your profession where I mean, that's just the coolest. How old how old is she when this is happening?

So she was a little she was a little bit under three and she just turned three. And so just like her little legs running out and she wasn't afraid of the crowd or anything. It was just a magical moment to like scoop her up and I knew I got to be backstage with her. Normally there's a dog waiting for me, but having her back there and I was like, oh wow, you ate all the fruit in the green room? And so that was it.

You were actually paid in chicken fingers? How early in the career was that where the act paid you in chicken fingers? So the secret was, and this is before everybody got paid, now you get paid to do your spots around town, but this was, I had a day job. This would have been, I got a gig in Santa Barbara. So I left my day job at six o'clock.

I drove down there. And like at the time, no one was really getting paid, or at least I wasn't. But you got free dinner at this bar and they gave you 20 minutes. Cause you couldn't get 20 minutes at the time in LA. I was like 25 cause no one knew who I was. So I got free chicken fingers and I got to fill up

my own gas tank and pay for it. So that was that. March 28th at Hard Rock in Hollywood, March 29th at Hard Rock Orlando, March 30th Hard Rock in Tampa. If you want dates and tickets, Eliza.com. Help us settle an argument from yesterday. People are yelling at me because they say I ruined

and spoiled the Righteous Gemstones because I told everybody that Walton Goggins is funny when doing full frontal and angry. What are the rules on this in the modern age? Can you help me, please? On spoilers? Yes. I think you have to put a spoiler alert

if it's within, does Righteous Gemstones, and I should know this because I was on it last season, do they release them all at once? Hold on a second. Look at me Lucy. No, it's not, no, no, no, hold on. Hold on. Look at me Lucy.

That's just a name drop. You just, when you said I was on it last season, we like to, you know, it's a look at me situation. Oh, yeah. I was on it. Good luck finding me. I'm in a giant wig. But I should know. I don't remember if they drop them all at once or if it's appointment viewing.

Do you know? It's supposed to be appointment viewing. I thought that this was one of the shows that we all talk about at the same time. I think you get to do a spoiler alert. Like, I think if it comes out that week, you have to write spoiler alert. But if we're a week out from it, I think people then you missed it,

it's appointment viewing. But I think always writing spoiler alert or saying it, so people have a chance to tune out is online courtesy. I reject that as a suggestion uniformly. I will not accept- I didn't say trigger warning. I said spoiler alert. Ones that are different. It is nice to see you again.

Eliza.com is where you go. A different animal is currently streaming on Amazon Prime. There it is. Look at that. Look at that. Wait a minute. What did, what did. Oh, look at that.

What? I just knew it would be a great way to go out. Yes, that's a great dismount. Looks deeply unhappy, unhappy that animal. She is. Projecting, Dan. Thanks, you guys. Thank you.

Thank you so much. Bye, thank you.