The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz - Hour 2: How Many Times Do I Have To Say I Need Scotch Tape?

Episode Date: September 16, 2024

Greg Cote is the star of our first segment of Hour 2 as he gets back into true form discussing his ability to multi-task, why his son's fiancée is now welcomed in his fantasy football league, affection from cats, and the paper football game on this week's episode of The Greg Cote Show With Greg Cote. Then, as Greg and Stugotz try to get their own paper football game going, Dan, Mike, and Billy discuss the Trump-Vance rhetoric demonizing immigrants in Springfield and what it means to them as people who are part of immigrant families themselves. Plus, Stugotz rounds out today's show with his Weekend Observations. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

You're listening to Giraffe King's Network. Bake and everything, starting at only $6.99 plus tax. Order yours now. Terms and conditions apply at participating restaurants in Canada. It's time for dance. Now's a good time to remember where the story of tequila started. In 1795, the first tequila distillery was opened by the Cuervo family. And 229 years later, Cuervo is still going strong. Family owned from the start, same family, same land.

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going to do a different kind of show yesterday. It's going to have some stuff in it that we haven't done tomorrow, excuse me. Not yesterday. Yeah, not yesterday. A different kind of show tomorrow that we haven't done before. Had yesterday, I guess. We did not do a show yesterday. It was just sloth in front of the television in a way that made me feel truly disgusting.

You're rubbing your nipples, Chris. You didn't feel truly disgusting at about 7.45 last night? No, I'm not gonna let you do this to me. I didn't feel gross at all. I mean, I ate too much. I had to go potty. But that's part of the grossness. That's part of me. I didn't feel gross at all I mean I ate too much my like that to go potty

But that's part of the grossness that's part of it. You don't shower the hygiene is bad. You're eating poorly all day I will admit that 8 p.m. Shower hits because that's when I always do the shower right before the like you want to get that Shower in four o'clock's just ended. I got about 20 minutes till the 8 o'clock kickoff right that's my shower point every Sunday How do we feel about next week's schedule because we had 10 games in the first window and three games in the second next week I think we have seven and five that's better. That's a nice better pace I don't know seven games with three duds in there is not gonna be good three or four duds potentially the Deca box was Too much way too much Scott Hanson did reveal that the the afternoon window is going to start having more games

in it, that the league is legislated. These whole afternoons where there's just like two or three games going on, no more. Not enough. People need more than that from their football. More. Greg, are you going to keep sipping the coffee continually every time that you're about to talk or? No, I wasn't aware I was doing that.

Appreciate you being so observant. every time that you're about to talk? No, I wasn't aware I was doing that. Appreciate you being so observant. Well, I've wanted to come to you here several times now and it seems like you're about to take a sip and I run the risk of making you spit it up all over the microphone. By saying something hilarious where I make a theatrical. I mean, I just run the risk of you getting everything wet

here because every time I've thought about coming to you during this segment, you've been about to take a vigorous sip right because you're so pleased with your work on Fort Lauderdale. Well no I'm pleased going way back to when Lucy did that bit in Madison and the guy identified me as his favorite on the show. Right. Really appreciate that he's a distant nephew of mine who I put up to say that but it's amazing to me that NFL ratings are way up like way up despite the games being dull there's some bad game this past week was one of the worst scheduled weeks ever Bill's Dolphins was the game of the

week turned out to be a lousy game Bucks lines the Chiefs Bengals Bengals Chiefs was the only other one that had game of the week turned out to be a lousy game. Bucs lines. Chiefs. Bengals. Bengals Chiefs was the only other one that had game of the week heft. But Greg that's what gambling is for. I mean and fantasy. Oh I get that. That's any game interesting. But I have never seen so many over unders beneath 40 points. It's become an epidemic. Well this is what I was talking about at the start here. I don't want to sour on it two weeks in, but this is what it's gonna be, correct? Like you're, that we're gonna go under in most of these games and too much of it's gonna feel

like Chargers Panthers or Commander's Giants. This is the way that the NFL media goes. A few years ago, you weren't having enough points, everyone wasn't throwing the ball down the field as you'd like, and then they changed the rules and they open it up and then everyone complains, well the defense isn't being played anymore. The league is a series of adjustments that are being made. But one of the adjustments has a whole lot of quarterbacks thrown for 150 yards, 180

yards. One of the adjustments is that Trevor Lawrence in the third quarter yesterday, he's at 16 total passing yards for the game. But I think that that's going to correct itself, right? I think that that's just early on. There's lots of holdouts. People don't really take the preseason seriously. The stars don't even really play in the preseason. So these first two games are kind of preseason games for a lot of these teams still trying

to figure it out. If they have new teammates, if they have new quarterbacks, receivers receivers, whatever they're all getting on the same page these two weeks I think as the weeks go on you're gonna see numbers get back to where they typically are That's why he's the Duke look every once in a while. He'll surprise you with some analysis He insulted you yeah, by the way bless, two Monday Nighters next Monday. We have Houston and Minnesota, we have Philadelphia and New Orleans, and we have some games next week. Those are two good games now all of a sudden. Sam Darnold is telling, did he tell John Lynch that he'll regret not, that he'll regret cutting him?

The assistant GM of the 49ers, he said, yeah, he yelled at him yesterday after that win saying, you shouldn't have cut me. I mean, I love that. That's where we are with Sam Darnold after two weeks. He's feeling good about himself. He's shouting at the 49ers management. Yep, yep. I saw Fred Warner playing yesterday.

I know everybody knows that he's the best linebacker in football, but good God, an interception and just punching the ball out at the goal line. How is it that that human being is more athletic than all the other human beings that he's playing against? Because it's insane. I know the 49ers lost, but it seems deeply unfair the number of great players they have

and also they were trying reportedly to trade for Justin Jefferson. There's Cody again. If I go to him. I'm ready. What do you need? Who needs me? You see?

I mean, how long does it take somebody to disengage from a cup? Right, and speed. I do it instantly. Mm-hmm. You know, I've been practicing my whole life. Drinking coffee my whole life. I'm going like this.

You come to me, I go like that. Do it. You know? Doing it. Thinking, I go like that. Do it. You know? Doing it. Like anything. That's good. What were you gonna say? Ask me a question.

Any topic. Drink your coffee so he can ask you a question. Yeah. I was looking at Greg's book and I was looking at the acknowledgments because I remember last time there was an issue with the acknowledgments. I think you forgot to acknowledge your wife or something.

It could have been an oversight by me. I saw that you acknowledged your other son's fiance. Well, they're engaged now. Yeah. So she has been, you know, we inducted her into PFPI last year. She shocked the entire league by winning the PFPI title. Greg tried to not have her in

because she wasn't, they weren't married yet. Right. But once they get- Girlfriends are not allowed in wasn't, they weren't married yet. Wow. But once they get- Girlfriends are not allowed in? No, they have to be engaged to be welcomed into the Cody. Fair. I think that might be some sort of infringement on a civil liberty.

Like that doesn't seem- It's Greg's family. It's a good rule to have. It's a family league. It can get ugly. Then you have a breakup and then what? You ruin the entire league. You learn from history.

The argument can be made She's not part of the family yet. Also like we have to kind of let's tie the knot just a promise Yeah, it's not a guarantee. You know, she's picked out a wedding dress already. Okay, so did my mom That's good boy. That ended Don't love how that ended. Divorce. Sorry Lucy. They don't love each other anymore. They don't even like each other. Nobody knew how that ended. Only you knew how that ended. I have talked about my parents' divorce on here several times.

Just now with Greg. But did your mom ever win the PFPI league? No, she did not. Well, thank you. Yes, it's a gag. Tati Ana did, and she shocked the league last year. And you're skeptical. And Grieslin's drafts were also a rookie team last year. And you're skeptical. And Grayson's drafts were also a rookie team last year. You're skeptical of Tati. Well she had a good week

last week she was 14 and 2. No but you like you don't know her to be a big football fan so you're skeptical of how she won last year. She has a ringer. She might be getting help. She has an older brother who's a big fan and but there's no law against her consulting anyone. That's nice of you. Well, Gracelyn, a four-year-old, right, had a team. Was Gracelyn consulting anyone or Gracelyn was making the picks? No, Gracelyn was making her own pick.

Christopher says, Gracelyn, you know, such and such at such and such, and then she picks whatever team she likes. Right, thinks for herself. I also noticed you mentioned Ollie the Cat, too. We hear about Jump and Charlie all the time, but very few mentions of Ollie the cat. Right, let's keep it that way. Oh.

You know, cats don't deserve a lot, they don't give a lot of love, and they don't want a lot of love. They're just very aloof animals. They wanna be left alone. Yeah, and I'm a cat owner, and have been most of my life. Ollie the owner.

Right, but you don't get a lot from a cat owner and have been most of my life. All owner. Right. But you don't get a lot from a cat. I'm not kidding you when I say that I believe that the conversation that Greg Cody and I just had during the break, that the audience would have enjoyed it more than anything that's happened so far on the show with Greg Cody. About cats? Nope, so far on the show with Greg Cody. About cats?

Nope, it went something like this with Greg Cody. I just asked him, hey Greg, after this weekend and the things that we've done for the last couple of hours, is there anything that you wanna talk about? And his response was, my podcast. And then I said to him, yeah Greg, look, I understand at this point that it's a true redundancy anytime I'm around you at any point in time any

place in the world I understand that you want to talk about your podcast so anything beyond that that you would like to talk about he's like nope just my podcast yeah I mean we don't always get to it on this show we do always get to we don't we do always promote the Greg Cody show featuring Greg Cody. We do. I mean you know God bless football's out today so's the Greg Cody show. Episode number 237. It's a crescendo of the long lasting never-ending Father Son Olympics. Wow. Still going on. We finally got around to the tiebreaker event.

I'm not going to say who won. You got to listen to the podcast, but it, we played paper football. Wow. You know where you flick it. We played paper football. The final score was 15 to 12. Oh my. Not going to say who won, but what a Donnybrook. Well is it time? Is it by quarters? Was it up to a score? How was it? We played first one to 14 was the game we played. And someone got to 15. Yeah and and and and I will say a field goal, a lengthy field goal, determined the father-son champion. It's what the Redskins and Giants did yesterday. Yeah similar similar. It is a similar commander. Yeah, it's like an NFL score 15-12 How did the how did the scoring work on this exactly? I'm not familiar. Everybody has different rude rules Yeah, there's actual rules you you kick off we played

On on our pool table. We have a table covered by a ping pong board played on the big flat surface So, you know you flick it. It was tied 4-4? Yeah, we had four downs. No, but I'm sorry, it was tied, it was at best of nine, and you were tied in the Olympic events 4-4? We were tied 5-5. Wow.

Christopher at one point led 4-1. I stormed back to tie at 5-5. Incredible. And we had the tiebreaker. I need to know who won. So what are the rules? How do you score in this game? Also, it's interesting, you have a pool table

which has artificial grass, but you opted with something that was more slick. Yeah, because we wanted a slide. It's like turf. Yeah, you have four downs. You get a touchdown if the triangular paper football goes over the edge without falling over. No, but points, how do the points work?

Well, six points for a touchdown. Six for that, right. One for an extra point, three for a field goal, just like regular football. And I handcrafted the footballs out of a sheet of notebook paper. Why don't we do this now with you and why don't you and Stugats start playing during the next segment? Oh, I love this game. You could go two straight wins, Greg,

on flag football games. Why don't you make some, I'm gonna give you some, nope. I do, I have some follow-up questions, unfortunately, about how do you go to first to 14 and someone won 15 to 12? Was it 15, 12? Yes, we were gonna, we were playing first person to 14 and it just ended up where we were we missed extra points

So it was 12 12 and then I got you now Greg if you beat me Will it be a two game win streak or a one game winning streak? It'll be a two game winning streak Ruin can't do two things at once. He was folding the paper and he forgot he was doing a show with us. Easiest guy to trick ever. It's unbelievable. Like he can only focus on one thing at a time. Do you know what you just did?

He has no idea what he did. That's a good looking football man. And I've got to admit that I thought that they got to 15 because I wasn't listening to him when he said just like football, it's six points, three points, and one point. And I just thought that always any field goal made was one point.

I thought any successful football kicked across the desk would result in a single point. No, those were real rules. When you get to Fort Down, you have the option to go for your last attempt or kick a field goal. You had a kickoff, how did kickoffs work? It worked, you put it in the palm of your hand, and then your fingers get stopped by the table.

And that's where the other team starts from, where it stops. Specific rules. Got it. Alright, so let's see what we have here. Oh, you need tape, you can't do it that way. It's not good enough. It's a fight.

It's a good thing you focused with that sort of perfectionism on making that football, so much so that you stopped paying attention to the show that we were doing. Do it, dude, do it and do it till you're satisfied. Till you're satisfied, that's right. I bet you make a good paper airplane also, don't you, Greg?

Yeah, I do. Yeah, always have. Yeah, that dog and cat eating thing we parody on my podcast. I don't know what you're doing. Like, what we worried about the podcast. He's cooking. Yeah, you asked about the podcast. I don't know what you're doing. Like what we worried about the podcast. He's cooking. Yeah, you asked.

I don't know what you're doing. Do you want to go back to the porridge great wall? Like stay with us here, make a paper airplane. I can't, I can't. I've got questions. Until I get a. You can, we'll get some tape. I need some scotch tape.

Make a paper airplane with this one as well. I want to see how good you are at making a paper airplane. Do you know how to make a cootie catcher, Greg? I don't know what that means. It's like the little, like it's four little triangles and you move it and you play a game where you guess. I can teach you how to make it. Yeah.

They're awesome. Hmm. He's not listening to anyone saying that. He's not listening at all. No, they're awesome. You don't know what they are. They're fantastic. Give the guy a break.

This would be very easy. Start asking him questions because he can't do both things at once. I am multitasking. You're not a good multitasker. It's gotten worse as you've aged, Greg. You're not good at it.

Nobody multitasks like me. That's right. Not true in any way. Talking to the mic, please. All right. Like a professional broadcaster, just stay in front of the microphone instead of being obsessed with the paper I'm trying to get to this Trump sound that's been behind me

I'm gonna have to wait to do it next can I get the payoff of you either kicking a football or throwing a paper? Airplane how many times do I have to say I need scotch? scotch tape. I asked you to make a paper airplane. Oh a paper airplane. I thought you wanted a paper football. Stu Gatz here. The most important things in my life are my wife, my children, and of course, their safety. That's why I've had SimpliSafe Home Security in my house for seven years now. I want you to have the same peace of mind that I and so many listeners experience every day, which is why I partnered with Simply Safe to offer listeners 50% off a system. Just visit simply safe.com slash DLB to claim it.

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That sounds like a, not a nice day for me so far still guts That sounds like a not a super nice night the debate old people love that shit. Yeah That's exactly right, yeah, that's exactly right old people do love that This is the done libertbatar Show with the Stugarts. Heads. What I was trying to get to last segment... I'll take the ball. ...was about immigration and about something that is pretty funny, if you can keep from crying, which is that during the debate,

Donald Trump with Kamala Harris actually said the following. In Springfield, they're eating the dogs, the people that came in. They're eating the cats. They're eating. They're eating the pets of the people that live there. If you'll remember what it is that happened at the end to get us out of mainstream media on Disney, a lot of people thought that it ended with Chris Cody being let go, but one of the places where it was hard for me to stay silent was when Donald Trump was telling a an assortment of women who weren't white to go back to where they came from to leave America

this obviously as someone who descends from exiles and on a show of immigrants was offensive to me. And so since Donald Trump said that Haitians in Springfield, Ohio are eating the pets, and since he has spent so much time demonizing others, it's something that I find personally offensive in a way that is unusually personal to me. And the part that's problematic about this, as we can laugh at the idea of eating the

dogs, is that now Donald Trump is about to visit Springfield, Ohio, and there have been two bomb threats. Local hospitals have been in lockdown. There have been multiple bomb threats to force government buildings into lockdown. There's just one right now, a school. Two elementary schools have been forced to evacuate for two days in a row. A middle school has been forced to close. A university has been forced to evacuate after someone threatened to start shooting Haitians

around campus. The KKK is distributing anti-Haitian flyers around town. The Proud Boys are marching on Springfield and over the weekend NBC News reported that the woman who posted on Facebook that her neighbor's cat was kidnapped allegedly, allegedly at the hands of Haitian neighbors, she's now deleted the post. She said it was misinterpreted and that she messed up royally. But we're headed toward two very divisive months and only one party is doing this where JD Vance, not just the VP candidate but an Ohio senator, goes on CNN yesterday and this is what he says if I have to create

stories so that the American media actually pays attention to the suffering of the American people then that's what I'm gonna do Dana because you just said that you're creating a policy it's unbelievable to have someone put their name on that that clearly but here are the facts the city of Springfield has seen 12 to 15 thousand legal immigrants arrive to work the city has been hollowed out by economic crisis and when that happens it happens in Florida after hurricanes Americans leave and Haitians come in to fill jobs that need to be filled so here's the Republican governor of Ohio, Mike DeWine.

Here's him telling you, look at the side I'm on when it comes to the people who are working where I govern. These Haitians came in to work for these companies. What the companies tell us is that they are very good workers. They're very happy to have them there. And frankly, that's helped the economy the truth is guys that miami is built on

immigrants and i just wonder billy i wonder mike i wonder this show given of the history of our parents and one of the few in sports media that understands how dangerous it is to demonize others and how used to it we've gotten. Like I'm not overstating here when I say that... It's a good game. I mean he just got hit right in the face. He just got hit with the pointy end of the paper football right in the face. It was good.

It was a great kick. And I'm assuming that he won the Greg Cody show featuring Greg Cody Olympics. No, wow. What I was going to say is my name is Dan because my father didn't want to call me Gonzalo or Luis even though my family wanted to name me something that was more Latin.

Mike Ryan Ruiz is a Hispanic name that has been Americanized. Billy Gill's name is Guillermo. It's Guillermo Gill. Like this is a show of, Tony, this is a show of Cuban immigrants. Our parents are people who were demonized upon arriving. Yeah, my father was a political exile. I get really frustrated and it's not by who you think.

I watched this debate and I'm well familiar with the the rhetoric when it comes to immigration and the border and these are what's louder than a dog whistle they're just saying it over the air openly and I find myself getting frustrated at the Democrats because I already know the game plan for the Republicans but the Democrats just kind of nod along and let countless lies be spewed, hurtful ones, that continue positioning immigrants as all the issues surrounding this country and the, I guess maybe there's so many lies for the Democrats to call every specific one out,

they don't feel the need to do that. But I find it hurtful how they've dropped the ball in defending this. Donald Trump can say just open lies about millions upon millions of people coming in committing violent crimes. These numbers are available for you. These are not political agencies. Donald Trump even had a pandemic. And if you stack up the arrests at the border under his administration and Biden's administration, you would see numbers that would suggest

that this entire narrative, with the Democrats being willing partners to play along with this narrative, is kind of out of control. So I get really hurt by the lack of support legal immigrants get because we just cast a wide net on a group of people and no one's defending them. Billy, how do you feel as someone who knows

and loves Miami and everything that it's built on and how it is that we are a proudly brown city that was built by immigrants. I mean we also like ourselves, our families benefited from not having to go through a lot of this right? Well the plight of the Cubans, Haitians often get frustrated with how easy it was for Cuban immigrants and exiles to get into this country. We're allowed, wet foot, dry foot was something that allowed Cubans to stay when they risked their lives at sea and Haitians were sent back.

And Cuba has been overtly racist for a long time that goes back to Fidel Castro getting in power, at least in part because he made that place more equal for black people. But I mean not just the wet foot dry foot, I mean like if you're Cuban and you come to Miami, you're a minority in word alone. Like it's technicality that you're a minority. In certain areas you don't even need to speak the language for, I mean you could come here and live your 20 years and never learn English and you're perfectly fine. So like, I don't think that we have,

and my family, when they came here, moved to New York and lived in New York for a number of years before they moved back down to Miami. But they were welcomed when they were there. I feel like it was a different time and it was more welcoming. I don't think that we, and I can't speak for anyone else, but like, I don't think that we, and I can't speak for anyone else, but I don't think that we really ever faced here in Miami

as Cubans because of the strong Cuban community, what it is that immigrants are facing nowadays that are being shipped across the country, sometimes in political stunts, to other counties and other cities and other states, who even sometimes when they're shipped to states that are allies of them, then say, you know what, never mind, let's send them back to where they go.

So like, I've never had to experience that, my family never had to experience that because we were lucky enough to get here at a time and be brought into a community that was very welcoming. I feel for the way that this is happening to people in this country who expected something more welcoming than the overtness of what it is that we're presently facing of just straight out send them back. They're eating our pets like just creating. We've got to build walls. They're rapists. criminals everyone who is someone who looks different than us is a threat to everything in democracy i need to lighten this up a little bit greg cody nonsensically mentioned that on the greg cody show featuring greg cody they had a dogs and cats remix that

no one had spoken about before he was distracted by the multitasking he cannot do so let's play that song it is a banger eating the cats eat the cat eat the cat eating the cats eat the cats eat the cat eat the cat eat the cat eat the cat eat the cat eat the cat eat the cat eat the cat eat the cat eat the cat eat the cat eat the cat eat the cat eat the cat eat the cat eat the cat eat the cat eat the cat eat the cat eat the cat eat the cat eat the cat eat the cat eat the cat eat the cat eat the cat eat the cat eat the cat eat the cat eat the cat eat the cat eat the cat eat the cat eat the cat eat the cat eat the cat eat the cat eat the cat eat the cat eat the cat eat the cat eat the cat eat the cat eat the cat eat the cat eat the cat eat the cat eat the cat eat the cat eat the cat eat the cat eat the cat eat the cat eat the cat eat the cat eat the cat eat the cat eat the cat eat the cat eat the cat eat the cat eat the cat eat the cat eat the cat eat the cat eat the cat eat the cat eat the cat eat the cat eat the cat eat the cat eat the cat eat the cat eat the cat eat the cat eat the cat eat the cat eat the cat eat the cat eat the cat eat the cat eat the cat eat the cat eat the cat eat the cat eat the cat eat the cat eat the cat eat the cat eat the cat eat the cat eat the cat eat the cat eat the cat eat the cat eat the cat eat the cat eat the cat eat the cat eat the cat eat the cat eat the cat eat the cat eat the cat eat the cat eat the cat eat the cat eat the cat eat the cat eat the cat eat the cat eat the cat eat the cat eat the cat eat the cat eat the cat eat the cat eat the cat eat the cat eat the cat eat the cat eat the cat eat the cat eat the cat eat the cat eat the cat eat the cat eat the cat eat the cat eat the cat eat the cat eat the cat eat the cat eat the cat eat the cat eat the Featuring Greg Cody the visual of Stu gots being in hit right in the face. I heard the sound With a pointy football I won by the way making it seem like the Greg Cody show produced that track He was making it seem like that was his he was saying He was saying that he was saying that he was promoting that that was featured on his podcast that and he said it nonsensically we weren't talking about that actually what was featured on my podcast was another version of that song like that was not the exact song that appeared on my but oh what ABC news to reach out that's a

terrible plane it's a really bad plane after you said you were good at making paper airplanes no that's a terrible plane Greg yeah anybody can make a better plane than that I stopped the winning streak barely has wings what's going on you said you were great at making paper airplanes and that's state no you did say that what do you mean I'm a liar time now for Stu gots is weekend observations did you hurt yourself knuckle did you hurt yourself? Knuckle, did you hurt yourself? Yeah, I partly split my fingernail here. Are you Dave, a claims-free hybrid driving university grad who signed up online?

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Don LeBretard. He has been great. He's made great hires. I said all. We've said all. He said all. We've said all. Everyone has said everything. First's made great hires. I said all we've said Everything you're saying it's all been said. Okay, you gotta understand one thing two gods me maximum That's right. I say it hasn't been said Until I say it, it hasn't been said. Me maximum, me maximum, me maximum.

This is the Don LeBattar Show with Stu Gatz. You all right? It is time for Stu Gatz to share his game notes. No one in the media will tell you what happened better than my boy Stu. Weekend observations brought to you by Miller Lite. Great taste, just 96 calories available for delivery. Dan once regarded as the Conference of Champions, they were left for dead.

With their marquee teams leaving for bigger paydays. Going from 12 schools to 2 sad schools that others didn't want. But Dan, we had some movement. And while other conferences are adding powerhouses and national brands, they went out and got Boise State, Colorado State, Fresno State, and San Diego State. Because everybody knows if you can get the blue turf and Boise, you get the blue turf and Boise. And Dan, just like that, make no mistake about it,

the Pac-12 is back. No, Lucy, is that true? They're not back. They're absolutely back. Thank you. Although only one of those is a state, right? Colorado San Diego's not a state. He's not a state. We're not a state. Yeah, very missile my design. Yeah Washington State beat Washington big win for the pack to the Apple Cup Arch Manning can scoot so can will levis I

Cup, Arch Manning can scoot, so can Will Levis? I had no idea. The only thing stopping Quinn Ewers from winning the Heisman Trophy is his backup quarterback. Mike Norvell should have to spell his last name with three L's. Put it on the poll please, Juju. Should Mike Norvell have to spell his last name with three L's? Deion Sanders, Florida State, collision course. Why not? It'd be fun. Four games? You go from 13 and 0 to Deion Sanders in four games.

I'm not even certain Deion's a good coach. I just know it's fun. It would be fun. That's what I know. Agreed. Yep. Texas A&M, embarrassing Florida, in a game that featured a weather delay for a thunderstorm. You know what they say, Dan?

When it rains, it pours. Listen to it. I had it on the tip of my tongue. I was about to say it, but funny enough, I was drinking coffee. Gator fans, it could be worse. You could be Florida State, Michigan, Ho-Hum, Notre Dame, Bounce Back,

home teams, or Owen Three at games that Lucy is at. You know what the L in Lucy stands for? Not luck. Sorry, Liz. All right, well, this is why I left. I know. Never coming back again. I'm sorry, I love you. You're back, this is why I left. I know. Never coming back again.

I'm sorry, I love you. You're back tomorrow. No, I'm not. Because of what you just said. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, Lucy. You left? I left something out. Taylor.

Jaguars-Browns. Woof. Baker Mayfield, football player. Georgia, survive in advance. I love the NFL, but let's be honest, there was a ton of shitty football being played yesterday. So bad. Baker Mayfield, gamer. Stash this away in the Something to Ponder file. Has Cooper actually been the most athletic manning all along? No need to discuss now. Just stash it away for a rainy day when it's all said and done Jalen Milro might be the best quarterback

Alabama has ever had when it's all said and done. I said when it's all said and done. It's not done yet Yeah, everything hasn't been said and nothing is done right right when it's all said and done. I said he might you could be right Thank you, and I could be wrong. You're more likely to be wrong Andy Reed Used to lose that exact game all the time with Alex Smith and Donovan McNabb Baker Mayfield minor penalty two minutes for Chiefs talk Guts I'll be back. It's a delayed penalty it's a delayed penalty. Baker Mayfield. We need you for this. Guts

Mike McCarthy. Ernie has the Cowboys in playoff form Brock Purdy is o and 2 versus the Vikings at 14 and o Versus all other NFC teams. Hey Brock do it against the Vikings Ridiculous he didn't look very good yesterday. That certainly is good No McCaffrey not as easy, huh? No, it gets harder He didn't look very good yesterday. That certainly is good. Will McCaffrey.

Not as easy, huh? No, it gets harder. Yeah. With the Cowboys getting blown out by the Saints, the biggest winner over the weekend was, of course, Stephen A. Smith. West Virginia and Pitt should play every year. The backyard brawl. I'm jealous of the phone lines over at WFAN right now

and how bad the Giants are. People have been on hold since midnights. How about this stat from Jeff Kerr of CBS, the Giants became the first team in NFL history to score three or more touchdowns, allow no touchdowns and lose in regulation. Oh, wow. Scratch that lose in regulation. Oh, wow. Scratch that observation out there.

Oh, you had that observation? I said, you know how bad you have to be to lose a game when you score three touchdowns and your opponent doesn't score one? It's never happened before in regulation. Travis Hunter, the rare interception that sparks four unsportsmanlike conduct penalties. They are polarizing, man. I mean, the guy can't even pick off a pass without something bad happening. Four bad things happening.

I mean, they are polarizing, yes. They haven't even gotten to the games that are going to be fun. If we're being honest, the Heisman Trophy should go to Travis Hunter. He's the best receiver in college football and the best cornerback. USC and Michigan should only be allowed to play in the Rose Bowl. Sorry, I didn't mean to hit you. They play this week. I don't care about the play. They play this week.

USC and Michigan and it's not in the Rose Bowl. It's in Ann Arbor. What are we doing? College football is wrecked. I'm sorry. What do you mean? This 12-team playoff is a complete disaster, Dan. What do you mean? A prolonged... Listen, I am telling you right now, all it does is prolong the careers of mediocre coaches. That's all this thing is going to do because now Brian Kelly can walk around. Hey, I made it to the playoffs eight straight years

Give me a break Disaster already Marcus Freeman or in week three the seat is cooled down, but you sir you are still hot Baker Mayfield has some set of balls Alvin Kamara nice to see you Baker Mayfield one tough sob Trevor Lawrence, enough. Enough. Bill O'Brien said he's always dreamed

of being the head coach at Boston College. You know what the B in Bill O'Brien stands for, Dan? Bullshit. Nobody, and I mean nobody in the history of football has ever dreamed of being the head coach of Boston College. Nobody. Another week, another catastrophic mistake by Will Levis. I don't care how bad the Jets played. Know why Dan? Why? A win's win. Bryce Young being bad isn't even funny. Just sad watching him. Let me be the first one to say it. I'll say it. The Panthers going 0-17.

Wow. There it is. Prediction has been made. Bryce Young said he draws his confidence has been made. Bryce Young said he draws his confidence from the Lord. Bryce, that's nice and all, but the Lord has moved on. He is now eating Tomahawk steaks on the set of College Game Day with Pat McAvey. Put your confidence elsewhere. You know what the H in Marvin Harrison Jr. stands for Dan? Holy shit. Hall of Fame. You know what Marvin Harrison Jr. did yesterday Dan? Made the Hall of Fame? He arrived.

The H in Marvin Harrison, I told you that already. Not 100% certain yet, but I think Kyler Murray might be having a coming out party. I'll get back to you on it. Whoa, whoa, Stu Gotts is willing. Now he didn't already have the coming out party? No, no, no, no. Is he having another one? I feel like he already had, no, not yet. He likes to flirt with the coming out parties.

He never goes all the way. I think this time he might go all the way. All right. How about that? Aaron Judge has 53 homers and no one cares. That's crazy. Everyone who went to the Sphere Aaron Judge has 53 homers and no one cares. That's crazy. Everyone who went to the sphere

and thought it was so cool, now imagine it on mushrooms. The Houston Texans are frightening. The M in MMA stands for microdosing, death, taxes, and the Bengals starting 0-2. The other M stands for mushrooms. We need a coaches cast. I'd rather watch Mike Tomlitt and Jim Harbaugh

than the Steelers and the Chargers. That's this weekend. You'd rather just watch them? Just watch them. Just watch them prowl the sidelines? Yes. Few things are more exciting in football than Steve Spagnola dialing up a blitz.

Spags. Oh, that's great. He dialed up a big one yesterday in a big spot, didn't blitz the entire game, and then Spags brought it. Oh. When did we start dialing up the blitzes? When did that become the verb on blitzes where you just associate it with dialing it up?

This week's winner... I love that reference. So do I. I'm on it, Tim. This week's winner of the Any Given Sunday Award goes to the Las Vegas Raiders. Congratulations. I wouldn't be surprised if Jim Harbaugh and Mike Tomlin saluted one another before the game. Dan, is it just me?

Or is something a little off in Kansas City? You're not going to do that again. Just a little off Dan. Hold on a second. You got it. Mike Tomlin. Yes, hold on. Jim Harbaugh. Firm handshake.

Subox Major penalty five minutes for talking about the Chiefs. Just a little off. It's a double major. He's got to set it out next segment. It's all delayed. I have no idea if they are or not, but the Packers seem to be a well coached football team. Are they? Well you guys fell in love with Anthony Richardson because of one throw. I did. I called him the best quarterback in history. One throw, he threw it 70 yards and you guys just decided that the Colts were gonna beat the Packers on the road. Ravens and Bengals would be a great AFC championship game. Both 0-2. How football is that?

Burrow and Lamar Jackson 0-4. Sam Darnall the Geno Smith 4-0. Aiden Hutchinson is on pace to have over 40 sacks. Russell Wilson, the rare revenge game where other people exact the revenge for you. It's odd. He's not better than Justin Fields. It's crazy. Toledo beat Mississippi State.

If a Mac team beats an SEC team, they should have to switch spots, switch conferences. That's a good idea. You like that, right? You can be Vandy for a week. I mean, not only did Toledo win, they beat the holy hell out of them, Dan. Speaking of hell, or Brials.

Dan, those are the weekend observations. much as possible, both on your TV but also, sometimes you want to be a part of that atmosphere. But guess what? You don't have tickets, it's a sold out event. What are you gonna do? Well, I'll tell you exactly what you do. You download the Game Time app. For my money, it's the best app on that secondary ticket marketplace for a ton of reasons. But one of the reasons I want you to check it out for is this awesome new feature called Game Time Picks.

It makes getting your tickets to see your favorite teams play even easier. Game Time Picks filters out the flop to show you only incredible deals on great seats so you don't have to waste time searching through thousands of tickets. Do it yourself, pick an upcoming game on the app, browse through the seats, I'm telling you right now, you'll love Game Time Picks. Take the guesswork out of buying tickets with Game Time. Download the Game Time app, create an account, and use code DAN for $20 off your first purchase. Terms apply. Again, create an account and redeem code DAN for $20 off. Download Game Time today. What time is it? Game Time! Now's a good time to remember where the story of tequila started. In 1795, the first tequila

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