The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz - Hour 2: Lionel Messi Is Florida Man

Episode Date: June 8, 2023

Roger Bennett joins the show to discuss the soccer world and the world of Lionel Messi! Then, Brockmire is here to discuss what Mike Meyers can't do, Christian Braun, Saudi Arabia, Messi, and more. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

You're listening to Giraffe King's Network. This is the Dunluba Tarshou with the Stugat's Podcast. All right, Roger Bedhead and Carrot Top are both ready. Oh, this is great. Okay, yes. Have fun balancing this one day. All right, Carrot, stayot Topper both right? Oh, this is great. Okay. Yes. Have fun balancing this one day All right, Carrot stay out of this for a second. I'm gonna think completely out of it I'm gonna look I'm gonna look pretty stay out of it

I need to talk to an expert about the sports stories going on of our time I mean just went into his phone and saw that inner Miami's following just went from one million to five million overnight because the biggest star in the world is coming to Miami. I think I can say Dwarf's LeBron in International Shame. I saw Tyree Kill was saying welcome to Miami Messy and Messy has no idea who that is. Like none. It would have no idea who Tyree Kill is. But the biggest star in sports is coming to Miami.

And Roger Bennett, you know soccer better than most. So explain to us what just happened here. Because I think Messi just decided that he wants to be as an athlete, as a brand. He wants to be Apple plus. He wants to be somebody who's even bigger than he already is. It's not a bad thing to be. I don't know if in the terms of the deal, he has to play football while wearing one of those Apple pro-visors down all the time, which would be, which would be pretty wicked product placement. And he'll still score a hat trick.

But it is an amazing day for anyone who loves the growth of the sport football in the nation, the weird door, the United States of America, little messy coming to join into Miami to come and hang out with you. And he's getting kind of meadowlot money to do it. The greatest player of his generation. This is like the seven time MVP, the blonde door winner, fresh off that kind of Greek mythic quest World Cup win with Argentina. And he transcends football this tiny little bloke.

He's only five foot seven, but I do believe the noise he makes, he's kind of visible from out of space. And he's coming to Miami, which is going to create scenes like the end of Scarface, I think, across your city. It's really, it's hard to describe how it's as if the Dalai Lama was really good at football and was coming to live and breathe amongst us. It's gonna be quite a zoo. It's gonna feel like, oh, Basil, every single weekend that he plays in your city, damn.

I know, it's gonna be so fun, but what does it mean, Roger? Like, historically, I just can't believe. What does anything mean, Dan? What does anything mean? You're all gonna die. I mean, it's just about what we do between now and then. Is that really what you are talking about? What does it mean that Leonardo Messi

is now Florida, man? Is that what you're asking? I am asking you that when the biggest star in sports comes and lends his name to American soccer when he's at the height of his leverage, what has just happened is a giant gangster business move on the messy brand is about to try and conquer the United States as well. It has not yet.

And if it can, then soccer can too. Yeah, this is like for your listeners, this is a bit like if LeBron decided, you know, sod the Lakers right now. I'm still pretty good. You know, I can still, you know, the offensive end, I can still make crap happen. Shanghai Sharks, Here I come. I'm going to do a ton of lucrative crap in China. Or if Tom Brady came back and goes like, uh, Ottawa red blacks, the CFL, we're going next level. Um, that's kind of what it feels like. And America's had its football

moments on the men's side. We are back to back winners of the women's World Cup. They are kicking ass on the men's side. We've had Pele, we've had David Beckham. This is both of those gents times a thousand messy years. In this digitally wired age, he is faintly visible from space as the world's greatest public billboard. And what does it mean? It means it's one in the eye for Saudi Arabia. You can have the golf, you can't have Lionel Messi. They are currently just throwing crazy, like take all your wells, Korean Benzema, you want more than the Noil World,

you want to hold this there? They are trying to buy every single footballer. They offered him $1.3 billion to go and play there, Lionel Messi. Again, meadow lot money for you guys, built a very nice pirate ship without, but they have three kids, his wife is like, you know, fully enough,

I don't fancy Saudi Arabia for our kids to grow up in. He's got a place in Miami already, he loves the lifestyle, he knows where to get his mate. And it is a very creative offer that they put together. It's not just the money that MLS have conjured, they'd offered him ownership of the team into Miami when he leaves. Apple have kicked in. They've apparently given him the uptick in broadcast sales with his arrival. Adidas have given him the same for their brand upon his arrival, but

it's going to be, it's going to, it's going to be messy, Anakin. He's going to be court side. It's going to be messy and Jimmy Butler. It's going to be messy high five in two or before games. And it is for the game of football, which is about to rock it with the World Cup coming here in 2026. It's rocket fuel for the growth of the game. There are going to be kids across America who will be able to pay witness with our own eyes to learn on messy and you see ticket prices shoot up into Miami's Instagram, you know, times five, five million. I think it is now is a million this time yesterday. We're going to the moon.

Roger the 94 World Cup gave us basically MLS coming off of that. They are popularity that event. gave us basically MLS coming off of that. They had popularity that event. As you mentioned, 2026, we're gonna be co-hosting with Canada and Mexico with the arrival of Messi here for MLS. Is this the watershed moment where MLS forces itself up into the conversation with the big four?

You know, I mean, this is a great question. And 1994 was meant to football here. I was here then. It was still like, Americans did not just not like football. They actively hated it. And football was like space to captain Kirk, the final frontier. Everybody else was mad for football. America was like, no, we throw it, we rush with it,

we kick, return that football. And you almost protested too much. And 94 was meant to make the game overnight into America's game as if it was a pogo stick or a yo-yo, like a fad. But instead, the growth was slow and steady. It was not an overnight sensation, but it has grown with different drivers. EA sports FIFA game, a cent tied a whole generation to the Star Wars cantina of characters who play the bloody thing. You know, the digital connecting us to the best leagues in the world, the Champions League, the Premier League on a weekly basis has allowed us to

follow the narrative. This kind of telenovela played out live, but on foreign shores in Upper Jarmas with beers on the Saturday morning. And so America has slowly become, there's a massive audience now. You know, many blazers, we've been able to wire up that American audience. It's deep, it's passionate, it's growing, it's super young. And yes, I don't think it's like going to be one moment. I think 2026, the commercial brands that are coming in, the spotlight, the white hot heat of all of that. Messi is going to be a driver, but it's going to be one of many. And ultimately, what is the goal?

It's the America becomes a normal football nation like the rest of the world where kids play. Now, everyone who comes on our show, you know, JJ, what did you play soccer? Yes, until when? AJ Larry Nance Jr. to age nine, eight, nine, ten, everybody plays and then they drop it. And seeing Messi, this is what I'm most excited about. Seeing Messi go from city to city in the United States, you know, families, little girls, boys going with their own eyes to watch this.

I've watched him play live. I'm not a religious person. It is a spiritual experience in that little man do what he can do. Playing as if the ball is inside his own shoe as a a Uruguayan poet Eduardo Galeano wants said to watch that and not give up at eight, not give up at nine, but make it your sport of choice. That's what I'm most excited about. But all of us are going to be able to pay witness. Can Messi make the MLS an exportable product, meaning will people in other countries watch our games? Oh, I mean, you're asking a good question. I'm here to say lovely things. I'm here to bring joy and vibe and positivity. You're asking a hard, hitting, bloody questions.

Messi's going to be playing it an 18,000 seat a temporary stadium into Miami or currently building a place in Miami right by I'm sure the noise is keeping Dana in this penthouse. Keep the noise down for God's sake. But you know, he's in the playing in a flight path. He's playing in a flight path of an international airport. He's playing with, you know, the team will change dramatically now. They're going to be importing a lot of South Americans, but there's currently, you know, there's guys that wouldn't, you know, that's a, there's guys that are far from his, what he's used to. He's used to playing on the best team in every league he's played in, into Miami, or currently bottom. But I think this transcends

football. What is about to occur every restaurant he goes to will become iconic every nightclub. He spends any time in will become the phenomenal. Wherever he walks his dog in Miami, this giant dog, Senua Hulk, will become like a heritage site. And I do I feel almost like a holy man is about to walk amongst this ticket prices in New York within an hour, like we're at times a thousand what they were face value. That's ultimately it's about the football but not about the football. Like when David Beckham played it for the LA galaxy, I used to watch him whenever he, whenever his team would score, he was smart enough, even if he did nothing to do with the goal, to just drop to his knees, point to the sky to the heavens, knowing that every camera

would photograph him as if he just scored the goal. I think that's ultimately what we're going to see with Lionel Messi over the next couple of years. What we have done here is very disrespectful to Carrotop, a comedy legend, very disrespectful. And he seems deathly bored that Messi has taken over the conversation. You don't seem interested in, you don't want to be listening to this. He's a deathly board that Messi has taken over the conversation. You don't seem interested. You don't want to be listening to this. He's also in mute.

I don't know if it's... I'm kind of on mute. Okay, there you go. Like, you know, I was mute. I was, you start talking and I mute. I would like you to stop talking and I mute. Your thoughts, Carrot Top, on what? On the messy, we have a lot of common here and I mean, I walk down Vegas, people go to

Christchmunks, they go to restaurants that I good to and yeah, you know, see, the seasors just offered me $210 to switch to their hotel. But we don't go and shut his microphone off. Shudders like go ahead and mute him. Roger, you're the co-host of they say there are no bad ideas. You're the co-host. That's almost bad idea idea Chris Cody's idea co-host of the men and lasers black as co-founder of the men and blazers media network he's off also the author of the number one New York Times best seller reborn in the USA and

Englishman's love letter to his chosen home I want and I know we've got to get you out of here but the live live thing, the Saudi money thing, you're always good on the bigger subjects, on the complicated subject matter. Were you appalled as somebody who's not in the... Is it for me or is that for him? Is for you, Carrotton. It's for you, Carrotton. But, all right, Carrotton's take on the Southeast days. He was off at $210.

He wants the Saudi counter to come in. Yeah. For you, for you, for you. Yeah. For you, for you, for you, for you, for you, Saudi counter to kill me. Yeah, he wants the Saudi, he wants the Saudi, he wants the Saudi. Yeah, it's sorry, we don't really ask me. I mean, I'm playing at the Luxor, it's kind of close. Just make a little sense. Yeah, I don't know.

Yeah, that's it. I think I'm going to pass this to you. I don't know anything about the live thing except that everyone got out of it and they're all pissed off about it. You thought I was asking you that? I was kidding. Of course, I didn't ask you me that. I'm standing here on this show and I figured I'll take this one, right? Roger, good seeing you. Thank you, sir. Carrot's up todo, con un poco de compoteque! ¡Muchas gracias! Los ojos. La calle vamos todos a cieras, pero lo más aterrador es no saber confiar. Uy de las personas que os piden que mireis si queréis seguir convido. Birdbox, Barcelona. Estreno't know what a Motorola razor is.

You don't? No. I bet you you had one. I did not have one. Really? Let's walk through your phone history. I've never had a Motorola razor. I did not have a Motorola razor. What was your first phone?

Ooh. Not a Motorola razor. A telegraph machine after that. The Motorola razor, Dan, was the one that was really, really thin. It flipped over, but it was like as thin as like a razor blade That's why they called it the razor. What is a telegraph machine? I don't know they had one in down nabby still got The Titanic stop has sunk in stop John take a bath to stop is missing stop You think that was my phone you think that my first phone was the Titanic's emergency signal.

This is the Don Lebertar show with this two gods. I feel like a bit of an idiot, right? Because I've been yelling at ProcMire about his podcast, his podcast, his due. It's supposed to have celebrity guests. He hasn't actually done it. He's generally irresponsible, but I am loathed to admit that I've enjoyed him showing up here every week or so on a semi-regular basis to talk about just sports stuff. And I didn't know, I forgot that it was today that you were coming in. And so I didn't dress better.

You crushed me last week. So what are we doing today with my, let's do a fit check here because I really came in poorly dressed today. Yeah. Yeah. Because the other days you're such a fashion plate. Let's take a look at you today. Well, Dan, you look like you stopped by the studio on your way to teach the least popular curves class in existence. Is there like a special section of Dick's boarding goods that sells workout gear for the man who has everything, but wants to look like he's got nothing?

Because if there, what are you just, you just go down there and just empty entire accent to your credit. All right, let's get to game three last night. You like the kudos, by the way, there was less whining about the podcast this time soon We'll have no whining progress. Not for staff a podcast. We're supposed to say anything here we go. Okay, regardless I suppose I have a podcast My my head is enormous You you really sounds like you I don't understand though. Okay, never mind. He's supposed to do his job

I don't understand though. Okay, never mind. He's supposed to do his job. Enjoy what you have. My goodness, Mr. Glass Half empty and hat quite full. Never notice that. You do got like one of those Brian Robinson fake hats. The big hats, the big hats, comically big hats, Dan.

A look who's to a pot calling kettle black. What's on your head? What the hell is on your head, sir? My God, it's like my amig. Took a shit on your head? What the hell is on your head, sir? My god, it's like Miami took a shit on your head Speaking of Miami game three last night. What were your thoughts, Brockmyre because we'll get to baseball I suppose maybe not but you have all Random sports thoughts on all things topical. Yeah, we'll get to baseball for sure I understand your studio is your studio right across from the arena. Is that correct? Yes sports thoughts on all things topical. Yeah, we'll get to baseball for sure.

I understand your studio is your studio right across from the arena? Is that correct? Yes. Uh-huh. Okay. So maybe you can hang a sign on the fun of your building. There it is. Remind my Emmy heat fans that a basketball game is in fact 48 minutes long

because every time the team is losing in the last few minutes of a finals game, the entire lower bowl turns tail and exits the building. I mean, you would have thought that after missing out on Ray Allen shot there, they would have learned their lesson, but no. Four minutes to go in this one, they all walked out. Like the, like the, well, it looked like the love guru started playing on the jumbo tron or something. File.

Remember the love guru? Love anyone? Love guru? Yeah. Mike Myers. For a while, we're all like, what can't Mike Myers do? And then we found out. We found out, didn't we?

The love guru. Can we get back to the game, please? Yes. Interesting game. He gave up 30-point triple doubles to Yokech and Murray. Very difficult to out-grip a team when they're throwing up those numbers against you. But the difference in the game was Christian Brown. I mean, my God, what a performance from the nuggets rookie there.

I got it. I was very taken with this PG-13 Good Looks and this muscular build and hair cut. You can set your watch to I am not. I'm not a shame to say this. This young man gave me a sports media boner that lasted for more than three hours. I had to contact my doctor, which by the way, you know that that state of affairs, you know this Dan Lebertard. That's what's known as a T-bow, that level of arouse. Because now every once in a while, there comes a white player, a white boy

with real athleticism, not scrappy, not an effort guy, a real player with a face that looks like it's just dying to talk about Jesus Christ all the time. Yeah, he's the kind of an eight-winner who'll be a lot of awful, terrible people's favorite person. You know, kind of, he can just lift an entire sports network for months this. Do you have any sports analysis that isn't that Christian Brown is white? I have real Christian Brown analysis all kidding aside.

As a rookie, he might lack NBA experience, but that also means it that his recent college experience includes a lot more zone defense than any of his teammates out there. he might lack NBA experience, but that also means it that his recent college experience includes a lot more zone defense than any of his teammates out there. He's the only nugget that's ever broken down a zone in a championship game that last year in a tournament with Kansas. Finding soft spots, back cuts, pocket passes to slice up my amuse 23 and 221 zone. That comes easy to him. He's already done it at the very, high as the level so he's good actual analysis that's good analysis it's coaching non-racialized analysis thank you very much now you're welcome Dan now if I could find one word to describe the way Christian bound plays one word in fact and that word is

coca-cati oh it really is he plays with a certain kind of pale skin daring do. He's reclaiming the word from all the carons and the aggressive pony tailed hippies out there. No longer, no longer will coccacity. Only referred to demanding to see the manager or wearing Tiva sandals in public. No, thanks to Christian Brown will also include his magnificent performance

off the bench today. A man has been chasing around the joke the Yokehitch brothers. He's warning people don't make jokes at the expense of the Yokehitch brothers. Do you have anything to warn Brock Miley about in the event that he doesn't know that he needs to be careful around the Yokehitch brothers? So Brock Miley I did a video in Denver about how I thought the Yokehitch brothers were a myth and there's something propaganda created by the Denver media to make Yoke seem a lot scarier than he really is and then I saw them yesterday

And let me just tell you the myths are true the legends are true It's like the Loch Ness monster and the Yeti and the Abonement all rolled into one The dude was breathing fire and tattoos on his body were moving as I saw them Have you ever seen these creatures up close? No, I haven't. But even through the television, I'm with you. I would encourage Miami Heat fans in those lower sections down there to be very, very careful. Because it was all court side adjacent. And at that price point, I'm assuming that Miami fans who got tickets were like shady mortgage brokers

and shady pharmaceutical executives or maybe shady club owners, but just not the type of man who should be challenging to dead-eyed Serbian giants to a test of wills, okay? The rich sheet fans, these are balding men in tight shirts who employ goons. They never put themselves in a position to throw hands with goons. Yeah. You'll get what they have two settings those you'll get your fellas seething and rage and I would hide before being on the receiving end either of them.

Can we get some predictions here because the heat looked like they're in trouble. They, uh, they, they, I want to know what you think is going to happen the rest of the series here. I don't know. The only thing I'm sure of is that I will love it. Because I am a big fan of high stakes basketball. These are the highest stakes possible. Because as you know, Dan, I'm a big fan of your patented,

the Dan Levitard heat culture is actually a cult theory. I think that's some of your finest words. That's not how that happened. And Brock, why are you, you put it forward. That's what you said, you said it, you put it forward. I did not put it forward. I've given you credit for it So based on past results these finals go one of two ways. Yes, this is either the greatest victory in cult history

So passing even when Scientology extorted the IRS into declaring it a religion so that they could attain Tax-free status Google that it's true kids or it goes the other way tax-free status, Google that, it's true kids, or it goes the other way. Spectacular imposion that can be seen from a distance and lingers like a foul stench, like a wake-o or a Jones town. Dan, don't drink the Kool-Aid. Please stick to the rivers and the lakes that how you address is apparently what you're used to. That TLC?

Can you speak up, please? It's supposed to be a funny little. Brockmeyer, thank you. I'm running out of time this segment, but I'm not done with you, because there are other things that I want to ask you about, including the serious subject matter. I believe I have this right. One of the times you were on with us, it seemed like you were doing work for the Saudis,

that you were contaminated and corrupt as well. I have that right, yes? It didn't seem that way, it was that way, absolutely. All right, so I want to ask you about what just Liv just did and hopefully we'll get to baseball at some point. Come back with it. You did live do something, I didn't hear, I'll have to look into it and get back to you. Come back with us, would you?

Sure. Dan Lebertard. I just heard a song that had Frank Sinatra singing from the window to the wall to the sweat drop off my balls. Two guts. Yeah. We all heard that right? So what I'm saying here.

All these females crossing and all skits, kid god damn. Old blue eyes. Congratulations on your suing nomination This is the Dan Lebatar show with this two cats It's coming back to me now because I was embarrassed by it at the time But he has a way of disarming me because he's charming and drunk But last time you were on with us her two or three times ago, it was clear, yes, that you had been bought by the Saudi wealth fund. And you're just now looking like a pioneer, Brockmeyer,

because at the time I was judging you for it, but now the live PGA merger proves that you're just changing the game because you just got that money before other corrupt contaminated people didn't. As usual, I was one step ahead of everybody. I'm getting pretty lit up here. Cheers.

Yeah, yeah, it says. No, I took that, I took their money, that's hold you that while ago. And you know what else? You're not gonna get me to denigrate those great and honorable men over there. You know why I'm not gonna do that, Dan? I don't.

Because I like my limbs attached to my body. That's why I'm not stacked like cordwood on the linoleum bathroom floor of a courtyard by Marriott. All right, linoleum. Okay. Linoleum. Linoleum. It's a tough word. I'm not drinking, but it is a tough word. Linoleum. I'm not trying to get you into any trouble,

but can you give me any insight into why it is that you and PJ Commissioner, J. Monahan, end up taking the money for to sell their souls? Sure, because we're horrors, Dan Levertard, has ever insight. That is why we took the money. But what are we alone? We're not alone.

It's the age of horrors. Yeah? We're the only choice you ever get is what, what piece of yourself are you're willing to sell. American life right now, it just feels like, you know what American life feels like right now? That scene in Lord of the Rings where they're running away from that giant fire demon, the battle-rog, I believe he was called.

And the only escape is a bridge that's just collapsing beneath their feet. Only one way, excuse me. The bridge of Kazidum. Kazidum, even nerder than I am, amazing. I thought Balrog was a deep cut. Balrog or Gorgoth, by the way. But wow, what kind of nerd, what is the nerd festival going on?

Are you looking that up or was that actually handy in your brain? Looking what up? Ah yeah, okay. What's the fault? By whatever she said, you're running along that thing. that actually handy in your brain. Looking what up. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Whatever she said, you're running along that thing. It's collapsing beneath your feet. And the only way to escape certain doom, man, I'm lit up.

It's a leap from rock to rock. The only thing you can only, you have to make more money. That's the only way you can survive. We're all on only fans in one way or another, except for Dan Levitari. So for you, I know you, Dan, are living a life without compromise because there's a small child, you dream

of having an empire funded by sports gambling being available right in the palm of your hand. Dream fulfilled. Thanks to the wonderful people of Draft King. But the rest of us us we're not so lucky some of us still have to hustle for living so yeah a so my dignity and my big fat mouth for what now looks like a very small amount of money are you saying the commissioner of the pga prostituted himself no because if he'd actually done that i would respect it a lot more

than what he did like if jay monaheim decided to hang out and run down bathroom stall at an abandoned public park, given out handies for crumpled up $20 bills, that would be a lot more honorable than what he actually did. See, because to me, voluntarily, tugging on somebody's putt, that's no difference. That's like pulling a lever in some factory. You're putting food on the table, you're trying to keep a roof over your head. Only difference is the hours in the bathroom stall are better than at the factory.

But monahann, he's not struggling to get by now, is he? He's not some down on his luck, poorly dressed baseball broadcaster who will gladly pin himself out to draft kings. Now that live is going out of business, by the way, no to draft kings, I am available. No, James on a hand. Very, very rich man already. Ten's of millions of dollars in the bank. Set for life. Kids are set for life, which means he didn't sell his entire soul for a piece of mind or a security. He sold it for a bigger yacht. Dr.

the more expensive club. Ah, a year ago, he stood in front of every microphone and camera that he could and he planted a pedestal Atop the highest horse to wag his finger and anybody who never dare except blood money But he turns out to be the kind of twisted freak from the illusion of ethics Now it's that was a negotiating tactic to get the maximum amount of that same blood money pumped right into his veins. Absolutely, despecable, and something I would have done in a second if they gave me half the chance. As would most people.

Except, except. Pradeem, of course, we named him and one other, chosen golden man, just a Christ-like figure, who has rejected the hundreds of millions of dollars the Saudi wealth fund offered him so that he can accept slightly less money to live and play in Miami. I'm of course talking about Mr. Lionel Messy. Cheers to you guys. Oh wow.

You tricked me, Brock Meyer. What kind of shit is that? Which really means shit. It's August. This is the biggest news in the history of professional soccer in America. It should be celebrated, especially by my Emmy's own Dan Levitard, but I did find it. Did you hear him?

I found it a little amusing the way messy spoke about his desire to come and play in the MLS. He said he wanted to come to the United States, I'm quoting now, to live football in another way and enjoy the day to day more, to live and play soccer in a calmer way, you said, which basically means like so many others before him, he's moving the Florida so he can an active retirement.

So, you know, I look forward to watching him be the best player in MLS history as he lets himself go and gets a pot melody and grabs a tank. Yeah, that is the way to do it. It is shocking to me. Now, one more thing about the messy thing. It's the very idea that he would give up $600 million from the Saudis to move to Florida.

Personally, I would not live in Florida if you paid me $600 million. Enough with this, Brock Meier. It's my home state. Come on, knock it off. What are you doing? I'm sorry Florida coasts are nice for parts of the year I suppose and I'm sure the paved over swamps of Central Florida have some good people in them who don't know any better I guess but it does not matter to me if Shangri-Laid self was located south of Tallahassee I would still avoid it because

you know why I refuse to live in any place where I would ever be forced to see Ron DeSantis' face on my television more than I already do. My God. God. Honestly, have you ever seen such a vacuous, charmed-less void of a person? It's laugh. It's even as laugh as hideous. It just looks like a horse eating an apple Teeth and strain neck and effort Now that he's running for president. Oh look at him. What's his first order of business run over president? First thing he does takes large Attacks money to trick a group of asylum seekers in Texas, what's he doing, bothering with folks over there, so they can be flown in a private plane to Sacramento, so they can be dropped

off at a Catholic church as some kind of a prank. Like, he's like the Johnny Knoxville of human trafficking now, just to laughing at the very idea of human empathy. I guess, I guess Dan, I guess it's the woke mind virus now to think that people should be treated as something other than livestock, huh? What a just a he's a I want to clean this up for radio or whatever we're on, but he's a I'm gonna choose my words carefully he's a rancid little f*** that. That's what he is. Hahaha. Yeah. He went finger guns.

I didn't notice that. You know, you know, wait, you know, this just came to me. Who he reminds me of in all seriousness. Do you remember the movie Weird Science? Remember that? Yes. Extraordinarily problematic tale of two hornet teenagers who conjure up Kelly LeBrock on their computers

so they can have sex with her. It's a heartwarming story. Any whoodle. The 80s. And that is what happened. That's exactly what happened. In that movie. There was a bully in that movie named Chet. Remember him? Yeah.

He gets turned. Yeah, he gets turned into this giant shit monster. That's true. That's round the same. That's what he reminds me into this giant shit monster. That's true. That's Ron DeSantis. That's who he reminds me of DeSantis. But actually, that doesn't hold up because Chet was played by the legendary Bill Paxton in one of his earliest roles.

Really? Yeah. He was. Yeah, look that up. And even as a shit monster, Bill Paxton had more charm in humanity than DeSantis could ever convey in a thousand lifetimes. Plus, at the end of the film, Paxen as Shit expresses, you know, tangible regret for being so disgusting and

repellent, which of course DeSantis would never ever do. And old Ronnie boy, he's the unrepentant kind of shit monster, just vomiting, fill, fall around him and then blaming you for having the audacity to be bothered by the smell of all right wretched wretched yes god flirty here's to flarter all right enough though no politics with your sports you're supposed to be doing a baseball segment for us don't we have i don't think we have any imaging ready because we never do don't we have a strike for with Jim Brockmeyer's segment that we're supposed to be doing here the name right for

so our that's the name our baseball segment. I don't know, I don't know. Some of you guys came out of it. It's supposed to be sold. We don't have sponsoring. I was hoping to get dick pills. We don't have it. Oh!

You do have to get the music. That's the music. We don't have a library or catalog. We can't afford real music so it's the music. We don't have a library or catalog. We can't afford real music, so it's ragtime. This is like the bar scene in the first Star Wars movie. It's there on over there. It's 40 years before that. A saloon.

Most Icy Cantina with flappers. Dick Pills. Dick Pills was a light hitting second basement for the Philadelphia Phillies back in the 40s. And what you call it, Strike 4? It's Strike 4 with Jim Brockmore. Yeah, thanks, Kat. I'm sure that, oh boy, I'm sure your producers have given almost as much thought to that name as they did their lunch order to the professor. Thank you. So bad.

But yeah, I'm here to talk about the biggest story in baseball this week. Can we kill the music now? Because it's throwing me off, going about to... Han shot first, by the way. Yes, he did. Yeah, he did. Han shot first. All right.

Biggest story in baseball this week. Oakland A's. In the running, this is true for the worst baseball team in baseball history, which newsflash folks goes back a very, very long way. Beginning of June, that's where we are. They've already been outscored by 200 runs. That is stultifying. They are 14 and 50, which means they're challenging

not only just the expansion match record of 40 and 120 in 1962, but the Cleveland Spiders record of 20 and 134, which comes all the way back from 1899. Nothing that happened in 1899 should ever be repeated in 2023. Now that era was like all of the industrialism and all of the racism, all at once. Let's not go back there. Now, why are the ages so bad? And because John Fisher, their owner wants them to be bad. He figures that the worst they are, the easier it'll be to move the team to Las Vegas. But who's John Fisher? Who is he?

He is the fail son of the two founders of the Gap Clothing Empire. Isn't capitalism fun? Isn't it just... We all bought jeans in the mall 30 years ago, and now Oakland doesn't get to have a baseball team. Unless the stadium funding deal that they are seeking from Nevada is not a sure to go in through.

Fisher might have paid the a so darn bad that nobody wants to pony up a billion dollars in tax dollars to get them. So maybe, maybe for once, somebody born on third doesn't get to fail their way across home plate. But, you know, as usual, I have my doubts about anything good ever happening again.

So I'm not holding my breath. I'm just going to drink my kluat and coffee and say, your breath smells like liquor too early in the morning. Do you have anything to plug before you get out of here? Not really, but I do have a, I do well apart from begging somebody to give me a job. Uh, now that I'm out of my, my live golf job, but I, I do have a call to action to your audience if I'm out of my live golf job, but I do have a call to action to your audience if I'm not dead I would just love it if people out there listening

Could take clips of chat the shit monster from weird science Take take clips of him talking the shit guy talking and play audio of Ron DeSantis being a weasley little Dingledberry underneath it and then tweeted at the show Why I don't know I just I think I would just find it amusing and it's it's better than actually having a look at his stupid face. All right, very good. Brock Marry, you can't talk like that on the podcast.

We'll talk to you next week. Just stay at Dan Levitag just this. Sober up please sir. Thank you. It's a cold in the studio because the nerdy lady who was yelling out to Lord of the Ring stuff is all in a why is she in a blankie? cold in the studio because the nerdy lady who was yelling out to lord of the ring stuff is all in a washington blanket