The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz - Hour 2: Mike Ryan's Hot Dad

Episode Date: December 4, 2023

Mike Ryan's Handsome Dad™ joins the show IN-STUDIO as the crew fawns all over him and proposes Meadowlark Media's own version of The Golden Bachelor. Then, today is one of the best Dolphins Mondays of his lifetime, so why doesn't Chris Cote feel that way? Plus, Stugotz's Weekend Observations and Dan's experience with cash at the valet. Also, is Dan going to make a mockery of the Heisman Trophy voting? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

You're listening to Giraffeine's Network. This is the Don Levertor Show with the Stugat's Podcast. This is very exciting. We've got a big reveal coming up here. Mike Ryan's handsome father. He never seems to age Just statuesque from a different time smelling of of Cologne and sensuality walks into a room just steams it up Let's unveil for America right now the beauty and the heroism of Mike Ryan's dad

Whose texts he doesn't want to answer. There he is, ladies and gentlemen, the elevator. Mike Ryan's beautiful dad is here. Now everyone can see what Mike Ryan is going to look like in the future. If this job doesn't chew him up and fart him out, he can look like Mike's beautiful dad. He'd be lucky to look like that in the future. Oh my God. I haven't seen him in five years and somehow he's got a young man.

True. A lathario, a lathario, radiant, just beautiful. Smells fantastic as well. Ricks of sunshine and rainbows. That hair is suspiciously dark. Oh, all right. Well, let's turn the microphone on so that Mike Ryan may quiz his father on suspiciously dark hair.

The Mike Ryan insider information train that he owns like no other. Dad do you dye your hair? Only my hairdresser knows for sure. Wow. A coy response. I'm so coy response. You see?

He doesn't have a barber. He has a hairdresser. He means beautiful. The Tony's threatened right now. Young Tony is threatened. Is it not true, Tony? That's what's- One day, one day I'll look like this.

He's got, I mean, he's got the Rolex going. He's got the slick back hair. I mean, this is my future. Chris, it's weird. Look at how your dad is aged. Yeah, I don't know what happened to my dad. What's your secret? My dad's older.

What? What? No way. Yeah, no. Don't let me be true. Yeah. How old is Greg? 67. That checks out. Yeah, how old is Greg? 67.

That checks out. Dad, how old are you? Don't reveal his age. Oh my God, can I take the fifth on out? He's my, my dad is so funny. He's in the dating scene. He's pretty much been in the dating scene my entire life. And, hell yeah.

He's, there was one day a couple of weeks ago where he was, you know, yeah, it's my birthday. I don't think my date's gonna be doing anything for it. I'm kind of bummed about that. And I'm like, well, does she know it's your birthday? He's like, no, because then I have to tell her what my age is. I want to make you our golden bachelor.

If Shannon Sharp and Stephen A. Smith can set up their things. Is that a surprise in anyways? If Stephen A. Smith and Shannon Sharp can set up their things as personal dating sites, I wanna do a personal golden bachelor where we sell off your dating because everybody who listens to us wants to be with you. Oh wow, okay. Keep the votes coming.

Yep, all right, he's in. Mike Ryan, there we are. What are we voting? There we are, Mike, we've gotta figure out how to do it. I put you in charge of that. It could be your next Metal Art project when you leave the executive producer. Find my stepmother role.

It's a great show. It's a great, it's a great, it's a great show. Find my stepmother, host it by you, repairing all the relationship with your father that has what is Jess campaigning to be on the show. It's a great show. She's doing it for the bit. Just a Lord over me. I don't know what you mean. It's a great show. She's doing it for the bit, just a Lord over me.

It's a great show. It's a great show. He's a very handsome man. Wow. Okay, all right, enough with the discomforts of this. I've got enough compliments today. Get out of here. Go sit in the penalty.

You're acting like you didn't know this. All right, take him out of here. Get him out. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, you your relationship with your father is a funny one. Stugans was begging me to ask him about the college football playoff, but I think we've talked about that. He's been following colleges here. He loves Mac every. He really does. So charismatic. Do you want to go to him? Do you want to go to him? I want to you how do you feel about the couch? Golden bachelor. Oh, that's good. No, Mike might. His dad, are you kidding me? On the therapy couch talking about Mike, how he doesn't know how to share.

He doesn't shit, what, what are you staring at me for? This is just get the psych egg over with. I think I got him in the penalty box. Why'd you bring him in here? I'm surprised. He had his day off and he asked. I've never really brought mine. I said yes, I'm like, yeah, sure, why not?

Proud of what it is that we've done here. And it's a lot cooler place than the Cleveland. Or I love it here at the Elser. I wanted him to scope the spot. And if he stays with me longer, he'll never have to work again a day in his life. Chris Cody, what's up? Have you gotten all of them to?

Oh, there I said it. This time you did say it. I'm not in the game. I'm in the game. I'm in the game. I'm in the game. I'm in the game. I'm in the game. I'm in the game. I'm in the game. I'm in the game. I'm in the game. I'm in the game. I'm in the game. I'm in the game.

I'm in the game. I'm in the game. I'm in the game. I'm in the game. I'm in the game. I'm in the game. I'm in the game. I'm in the game.

I'm in the game. I'm in the game. I'm in the game. I'm in the game. I'm in the game. I'm in the game. I'm in the game. I'm proud. He's he's a silver fire. I didn't Improv to Been a lot fire him trying to take the elevator down. I did not

Mike you're the thing your father embarrasses you because he's a little cheesy right? No, that's not why you embarrasses me because he's a little cheesy, right? No, that's not why you embarrass his man. But he's doing great today. He's doing fantastic. It's awesome. That's kind of funny. They're then calling me Greg. Yes.

But did you get off Chris? That's honestly. So you descend from your father. Your father's the biggest Dolphus homer. I can confirm that I descend from my father. No, I'm talking to Chris Cody that he more literally symbolically descends from his father's a homer and he is his father's son. And today is the best day in dolphin history

for the Cody family in the last 25 years of sharing dolphin sports as a family. Not just with his dad, with his mom too. Today is the best the dolphins have felt since when. Why are we doing with today, as opposed to like, they're at the top of the conference. They go to the Jags win tonight. No, but it's just, okay.

But I'm just saying, I'm not, Dan, I'm seeing a lot of good mobile quarterbacks, and I'm not gonna lie, the last few weeks, my confidence in the dolphins has actually gone down a little. And that's because I'm not looking at the wins that they're getting, I'm not gonna lie the last few weeks, my confidence in the Dolphins has actually gone down a little. And that's because I'm not looking at the wins that they're getting, I'm looking at other teams and other quarterbacks when plays break down outside of the pocket, and I just see two of them,

and he needs everything to be perfect. And I don't know, that's why I've actually been going the other way the last few weeks with the Dolphins. They scored 45, like what more do you want them to do yesterday? I just fear that when they, when we, because I think we've gone to the point, we're better than all these the point, we're, we're better than all these bad teams.

We're going to be in the playoffs. So now the conversation becomes, how are we going to do in the playoffs? The conversation becomes, if Baltimore comes here in Kansas City, are they going to slow your offense? Because they're one of the good teams. Like, what, you want to get the buy so you're healthy. And then you want to get two games against a team you don't fear. Why are you fearful today after winning 45 to 15? I'm fearful because I see a lot of quarterbacks that when they

get out of the pocket that I, I, Josh Allen hurts my homes. I see these guys out of the pocket and I'm like, that's date, they're dating, they're more dangerous there. And when two of you get out of the pocket, I'm scared shitless. So I just think the dolphins have to have everything go perfectly for them. And the way they've played so far this year defensively too like you really haven't had a mobile quarterback that hasn't done a good job against the dolphins right Josh Allen W Jalen hurts W like my homes use his legs a lot in that game to beat the dolphins now you're gonna play Dak Prescott who can run now you could play Lamar Jackson who's gonna run the next couple games like this is a big test So Dan I'm actually saying the opposite of what you're saying

I think I'm over that honeymoon phase with this team like we were early in the season and now I'm in the mode of Can we actually win some games in the playoffs? I'm not saying the answer's no I'm just saying I'm a little nervous when I see these mobile quarterbacks Do you think I have this wrong when I simply say to you because You're through all of these injuries that you have to sustain? I mean, the idea that again, why did you bring him in here with you?

He smells so good. Okay, so- And he cares about me in a way that you don't. I mean, he's rubbing my hair. Flip him in the sauce. Hey, ego red. Yeah, it's weird. All of it is a little weird.

But the thing that we haven't been able to say, Chris Cody, about this dolphin team, you're actually showing very reasonable perspective at what could be a hysterical time. All of these people get injured. Through those injuries, the dolphins have beaten those teams on their schedule to have the position that the Patriots have had had that was the greatest advantage they have. You win

this division, you get a buy, then you play against two teams with quick throws who are top. One of whom has played the previous week. You've seen what, look how Detroit came out yesterday. Health matters in that sport. Like when they sit out a week and they, they're stronger, they're physically in a, what? What do you mean, what? I was just watching you at work. I mean, you know, you're killing it right now. You got me back by the way.

Now I'm confident again. You just did it. No, but I'm not trying to actually talk, your perspective is the right one to say, I saw San Francisco and Philadelphia and I saw how those teams can beat the dolphins. You hold them to 17 points, Tireek does it look like that because all of a sudden you're in third and long all the time

and they don't have any confusion about whether you're running or passing. And then the offense slows a little bit and Philadelphia grinds you to dust because you saw Philadelphia and San Francisco, but they're gonna beat the shit out of each other literally over in that conference. You only have to beat one of them

and that's what the Patriots did a lot from the top of this division and the top of this conference. I haven't been able to say for 25 years that this is where this dolphin team has been. If you're not excited, in December, you're viewing this wrong. Oh, I'm excited, but I'm just a little apprehensive because I see a lot of good teams around.

Mike, you seem upset. It's okay, son. It's gonna be okay. It's a matter of it. Mike, what do I do with your dad and the fact that your that Stugots brought him back in here and I don't know what to do with him as you want to sit on his other knee? Would we like one day for Stugots has been complaining about being tired should his dad sit in the seat for a segment to replace Stugots so that Stugots can take a break because he's been, it's work. God

bless football came out very early this morning. Yeah, what are your thoughts on the on the college football playoff, Mr. Ryan? gosh, how come Georgia is not in a bowl game? It's a fair question to ask. It is. You're going to pull that one out. I got so lucky there. I like this as a ventriloquist in a puppet. I got so lucky there.

I like this as a ventriloquist in a puppet. See if the takes can come out here from something more beautiful than the ragged thing over here. Don Lebertard. I'm so reasonable out. Yeah, so that's it. I'm so sorry. But he's still going to stop everyone with the least my way of being more than you do. Stugats. I always like leaving them behind. I can't.

Because he's so vulnerable. I just unfairly fade down the chickens. He just only look at my himself. This is the Don Lebatar show with his two cats. In this time for his twoat to share his game notes No one in the media will tell you what happened better than my boy Stoo Weekend observations brought to you by Miller Life Great Taste 96 calories available for delivery Din! They lost in week two and benched their quarterback. They were tied at half-time

with USF. Barely beat a dreadful Arkansas team. Needed a miracle to beat an Auburn team that lost to New Mexico State by double digits. But, Din, on the biggest stage with the brightest lights against the team, riding a 29 game winning streak. That's when this team plays its best at Saturday was no different. As they beat Georgia 27-24 at Dan, just like that, make no mistake about it. Alabama is back. I hated myself yesterday because on a Sunday, I was actually thinking who's going to be his, he's back and I thought for sure it would be Jo Flacco. It was close, he said second place. I thought for sure, it was close, dude.

For sure, Jo Flacco, he needed to win. He did, yes. He would have played well. I mean, listen, with him, the jets would be 10 and two, but Jo. He needed to win. He did. Yes. He would have played well. I mean, listen, with him, the jets would be 10 and two, but Joe Flacco needed to win. It came down to him winning. He lost. He's not back. I can't. I hated myself when I'm like, he should. Which is a sad way to spend the Sunday. Which of his, he's, well, Sundays are disgusting. Let's be honest. They're wonderful. But at the end of them, I feel bad about who I am. Tony, Tony, saying back here that he looked good yesterday

Flacco, I don't believe that. Flacco look good yesterday. He did. He looked good. Thank you. I watched every second. He always does. Yeah, he's a statue with a big arm there has it moved What you watch my it was more spot But more more is gotta be better there I mean if it comes down to a debate who screwed up Flacco or more, it's more right I mean, if it comes down to a debate who screwed up Flacco or more, it's more. Right. Flacco played a game that surprised me that he can get off a plane show up in Cleveland and do that through 44 times. I have to admit, he throws a pretty ball.

He always, even the deep, even the interceptions like, oh, I'm still there, but it was stupid. He thought, he thought, it was more as fault. More as fault. But Alabama's back. Roll tide. This is all Auburn's fault. More as fault. But Alabama's back. Roll tide. This is all Auburn's fault. It really is. It is.

You know what the yay in Auburn stands for? All their fault. Yeah. Wow. All their fault. It was four than goal. Yeah. Had them beat.

We wouldn't have to be discussing any of this. If it all plays out the same except Alabama loses to Auburn. Is that fs you into the huh? Huh? I don't know. Maybe we'll talk ourselves into Georgia. At that point, I think we start talking ourselves into Georgia. Or a high O'Sate gets crept back into the conversation. Yes. Yes. Florida State. I never said, do it against LSU. I said, do it against Alabama. Yeah, you did. Texas did. And look what happened. That's right. Thank you. Alabama so good. Even though it got done with that. How does Stugots win in this scenario, too? Where Alabama is in, but we're all like

this is a sign. One team, no one was arguing about Texas. Yeah. Did it against Bama. Mm-hmm. By two touchdowns at Alabama. All of us acknowledge, okay, that's the best win in the season. Look where Jaylen Milro is now. Texas made Alabama bench him with their performance in Tuscaloosa. And we thought they didn't have a quarterback. They were going into South Florida with rain

and we're like, I think South Florida can cover six and a half. Paul Feinbaum told me and Billy a great story that the reason they bench Milro in that game Was Tommy Reese was convinced the other quarterback was better so save and put the other quarterback in just Tommy Reese could see how bad he was Not sure Paul find down bullshit story total bullshit sounds good though That saving is so smarty put in the bad quarterback. It's not that saving didn't know which one was the bad because they were both bad. He's used to having all the best athletes

He showed Tommy reason you showed Paul fine, mom Tommy when it wasn't his bags out of day. I'm sorry. Oh Watching Greg McLeroy. Am I saying that right? You always get that wrong. It's a tough name for me Yeah, you had an extra L. No, he's dyslexic. He puts the L before the E. Oh, thank you. Tell me a team can overcome subpar quarterback play to win an national championship. The G and Greg stands for Go look in a mirror. What is he talking about? Dan, you heard it here first. Something was most definitely off in Athens. In other things you heard here first, the Orlando Magic.

I told you to watch out. Tees good. I'm not sure I understand the in-season tournament and at this point, I'm too afraid to ask. The T and Tyler Van Dyke stands for transfer portal. Lou Penella falls just one ballot short of the Hall of Fame, sweet Lou. I only put it in there to say sweet Lou.

I did. We didn't talk about Jim Leeland getting in and his wife and him talking about it and taking what happened. I got a text on him. You know, some congratulations. He made it to the hall. He's my friend.

He did, he had a lot of, I would like to talk to him he had the picture of him taking the call was in some sort of strange unfurnished air bnb that it can't be his home I don't the photograph cannot be the home of Jim Leland who only loves baseball in the racetrack and deserves to be in the hall of fame the g and grady dick stands for g league when you're turning the ballie's happy, you've already lost. LeBron James would skip a Lakers game to watch Bronnie's college debut.

Very nice. How did we not talk about email, Doka, getting ejected for just talking trash to LeBron? You can't talk trash as a coach. What did he say? There's not an internet lip reader that can tell us what was said there. He's out there. It was actually pretty tame. He's like, worry about yourself, your soft boy, stuff like that. I think you call them the board several times. He was used to

be worried and the bronze was on the court being like, don't talk like that. I'm not the breeder. He used to be worried earlier on, but like their interaction that actually got Udoca tossedoss, that was pretty tame. They just didn't stop. Back to LeBron. One of the many reasons he'll never be Michael Jordan. Does that? Does what?

Not MJ. Does what? Skip your own job to go see your son's college debut. And sure they would never. Be a good parent. No, not Michael. No time for good parent. Oh, time for rings. Winning. Stu would never skip something to see one of his kids.

Oh, not me. Now you've got to do for the Detroit pistons becoming the first team in eight years to go winless for a full month. Oh, and 15. The D in Detroit stands for didn't win a game all month. That's impossible. It was pretty didn't win a game all month. That's impossible. It was pretty amazing. Utah State quarterback Levi Williams will skip his senior season to apply

for Navy SEAL training. The Ellen Levi stands for Let's All Stop and thank him for his service. Thank you for your service. TYFYS. The James Harden experiment isn't working out in Los Angeles. Who could have seen that coming? Get emotional.

I am, crying. I'm crying because teams keep making the same mistake with this guy. He's a bomb, he doesn't want to play anymore, he just wants your money, all right? And he keep making the same mistake, I feel bad for the clippers, what? You couldn't even get that out.

I don't. Penn State making a 12 team playoff is all the proof We need that we don't need a 12 team playoff It's a fair take. Thank you You know what the 49ers took the Eagles Dan to the wood shed. Wow, you work good You are on your game today. I mean serious. I mean mean, they did. Yeah. When does that expression come from? Was it like somebody was spanked out in the wood shed and they like the wild wild west?

Like, why are we taking someone out to the wood shed? What is the, what is happening there? What are the origins of that story? Uh, child abuse. All right, great. North Carolina comes back against Florida State behind a 22-0 run. You wanna know why, Dan? Child abuse? Because basketball is a game of runs. Speaking of runs,

the Dallas Mavericks with the rare 30-0 run in the game that they lost. I mean, I knew that, but go ahead and read the definition. Yep, it says this phrase came from the custom of a father taking his offspring to the wood shed to whip him. Back in the old days, I was okay. 30 go run. They lost. I know, I know. 30. Oh, John Shire, good recruiter, bad coach, Kentucky unveiled a new court in Ruperena and proceeded to lose to UNC Wilmington.

That was weird. The Seahawks. They should go back to the old court. Also, watch out for UNC Wilmington in March. Oh, why is that? Tough out. Why? Senior guard play.

Why else? Good defense. Tenacious day. Senior guard play. What else? The building blocks to a tee, and that's going to be a tough out in March. What else? That's blocks to a team that's going to be a tough out march. What else? That's all I got. Okay, no, that's plenty. It's not marks there. Okay,

you'll be you'll be informed then. Yeah. No, no, no, but you'll have those. You'll have guard more prepared for it. That's the experience guard play. You know, watch out for today. She's the out of the three blank blankly blankly leadership. Yeah. If Kentucky did that to Miami, think about what UNC Wilmington would do to them. Iowa could have played that game for another 10 quarters. I'd still wouldn't have scored. Still got

I bet I will under six and a half points for the game. I bet I'm under a half point in the first half. Just so comfortable. I bought it up a half. So comfortable. Like it's a, it wasn't amazing. Again, I tease their team total by six points

and still somehow lost this. You can't believe in I would it. The idea, do you know, I've never even seen a team total of six and a half to go under there when all I love is overs. I love overs because I don't have to, I can, I got a shot it over time. I got bonus time to go under six and a half on like a defensive touchdown and to, and to say a lot of game, no problem. That's crazy to have that sure about. It's free money. Yeah. Vegas made Alabama an underdog cute Oregon, Washington,

what a game. Let's do it again next year in the Big Ten championship. College football man. It's funny. It's weird man. Kirby smart. Blah blah blah. Georgia's defense. Blah blah blah. Oregon. Blah blah blah. Dan landing. Blah blah blah. Bonaix. Blah blah blah. Dan, you know what the end and Nick stands for?

Not the NFL. You know what the B and Bose stands for? Better start thinking about getting a job. What? I mean, he's been there for eight years. He's not going to the NFL. The air free. John will be playing in the NFL.

No, it won't be. I've got him as a coordinator in college with five years. Exactly. You got him being Josh Hybel. It's projected first round. No. Blah, blah, blah.

Blah, blah, blah. Come on. I mean, Bonyx, seven, seven years he played, 17 years he played. And and and and Sam Harbin. Bonaix. We learned who Bonaix was altogether as a nation for beating Alabama back in a quater time when Alabama wasn't a love of a Lunderdog. Dan, you know what the O and Oregon stands for?

I do not outback bowl. Oh, they are. I'm going to change that one. Is there still an help at ball? No, I'm not certain there is. There is. No, not anymore. I just don't know. I just don't know.

I just don't know. You were so proud of that. Listen to him. There's no Jesus ball. He's not running away from having done no research. I don't know that there's not a ball anymore. He just fits me over shoulder blooming on you. That's so good.

So I say our good. They are delicious and indisputably. If it walks like a duck, talks like a duck, it's probably not going to the college football playoff. Tim Howard was elected to the US soccer Hall of Fame. There's a US soccer hall of fame. If there is, they shouldn't allow any men into it.

The only thing that should be in the men's part of the soccer hall of fame is Christian Pulistics penis. It's so cool. It's so cool. No, no, no, London, Donovan. No, Brock Glen, great quarterback here. Brock Glen, the rare combo of a more common last name as your first name,

any more common first name as your last name. How about that? Think about it. I'll do a whole show about that. Can we come up with all of that? I was confused by the sentence. Let's do what he's just saying. He's right though.

Yeah, he is right. He's saying that Glen would be something that you'd more likely expect as a first name and Brock would be more likely to be. You really are on your game today. Yes. Also, a great name for an astronaut. Top five athletes who have a great astronaut name.

Oh well, I, Quinn Ewers. Glenn, you're doing that only because Glenn wasn't astronaut. Of course, yeah. Number five, Terry Glenn. That's not an astronaut. Number five, Terry Glenn. That's fine. That's fine. Number four, Jack Youngblood. Number three, Brock Eward.

That's good. Number two, Sam Howell. That's good. And number one, Neil O'Donnell. Captain O'Donnell. Jessica, why are you shaking your head? No women, so it tracks. Sorry.

Here come the Oilers. Oh. Biggest upset of the weekend was reading a story about JJ Wat Threatening, John Rom, to sign a deal with Liv Galfe. JJ, the Donald Trump is strong in you. The second biggest upset was me reading. That music didn't help you there on the time. Third biggest Washington I think.

Yes. Cheaters never prosper unless they live in Ann Arbor. Dan, you know what the W and Wolverine stands for? We cheated and no one cares. It's unbelievable. It really is. You sneak in undefeated FSUs both their quarterbacks are broken in half Physically, Michigan cheated is like yeah, they belong number one seat the essence Sam Howell Stands for sacrificial lamb for beating Ohio State a team that ran the ball like they have Marvin Harrison So they're not Penn State running the ball 70 straight times congratulations on winning that conference by cheating Everyone knows there's seven teams in the SEC that would beat you. No one cares.

Got what we want. We're going to play Alabama now. We'll show you. Villanova lost a Drexel to finish sixth in a tournament called the big five. Hell is going on. Speaking of hell, orp riles, Dan, those, or the weekend observations. Don Lebatard. I actually thought you'd look kinda good. Stu gots.

Thank you. I had the Beards grown out a little bit. I got a little life in my face. I feel like little 10 Colorado San Francisco. Great time. You get life on your face. You got death on your face. I think you got 40 to life on your face.

Ha ha ha ha. I think you've got 40 to life on your face. I think you've got 40 to life on your face. I think you've got 40 to life on your face. I think you've got 40 to life on your face. This is the Don Lebertar Show with this two gods. I had something happen to me last week that allowed me to finally test how insulted I am that no one will take my cash anymore because they demand credit cards and I'm like hard earned American cash that have value as

currency everywhere in our world for as long as I'm alive you will take my cash stop forcing me to give you a card my cash has money I'll take it not a big tap guy here's what happened to me and I want you guys to tell me whether or not I'm an asshole for doing this, or I am just someone trying to be a freedom fighter on behalf of good old fashioned American cash. I'm at a valet, and the valet I'm holding $20 up at the valet, and the man says to me, we do not take cash.

And my question to him, and it was a genuine curiosity of a question, well, what happens if I don't have cards? Does it mean that you will not then take my cash? And I didn't even say, like, I was legitimately asking as a curiosity, but he took it as, I don't have cards. And so I'm like, all right, I'm going to follow this for a second. Now I'm going to say, I don't have cards. And so I'm like, all right, I'm going to follow this for a second. Now I'm going to say I don't have cards. I only have $20 cash that I'm going to now entrench myself in this fight. That would be a great bottom scroll on ESPN. Dan

Lebitard gets into fight over cash card to. No, but I'm legitimately asking you. I just wanted to see where it would go. Where do you guys think that ends up going now? Because I'm not doing it angrily. I'm just saying, what happens now? This cash is a value. Why won't you take it? If I'm the valet, this is the easiest money I've ever made in my life, right?

I take your cash. I never ring you up. I park you, rule up front, and then by the time that you're out, I just need to do that. No, but see, this is the thing. Because I was like, yeah, you can just have this. This is what it is anyways. It's $20. I, you can, why not take my cash? And he's like, no, and I'm assuming it's because you might get fired

if they take cash and they don't, and they have record keeping of having put a car away. So you've completely manufactured this fight that you are now in. But I'm not in a fight. It's not. You're in a spirited debate at this point. Where does it go?

He's just seeing how it plays out. It's not even a classic. It's a standoff. How did it play out? I'm going to tell you a thing, but how would you want it to play out? How do you think it could? He had to take the kid.

He should play out. He punched the valet at Poppy's stake. Like that's how it happened. I would have slapped you in the bag and I said, get with the times old man. He didn't do any of these things, but I did and I was laid for something else. But at this point, I'm entrenched in how I'm stubborn. Right. It's such a man. He didn't do any of these things, but I did. And I was laid for something else, but at this point, I'm entrenched in how I'm stubborn. I'm waiting. I'm waiting four,

15 minutes now. Oh my God. Yes, to see, to know, but to see where this goes, because I legitimately want to see where this standoff goes and where it goes is you can go now. Just pay for your coconut water with a card, man. But he said I could go with my $20. Like leave? Yes, I didn't have to pay. Did you? Well, I gave it to the guy who brought my car around. I gave the $20 to the guy who,

but I did leave without paying. He let me go because we were to stand off, but my standoff won. I felt like an American hero on behalf of cash. You are here. You want them? I think it's ridiculous that places don't want to take cash anymore. Having a credit card is not like a ridiculous that places don't wanna take cash anymore.

Having a credit card is not like a thing that everyone has. Like, especially if you're, I think I've told this story before, but I was in a coffee shop when we worked at the Cleanlander once and there was a guy that came in and wanted coffee and like he only had two dollars and they wouldn't take his cash. And he had no credit card and I was like, I'll just buy your coffee man.

Like it's fine. But they were just turning business away because this guy didn't have access to credit cards. It was ridiculous. But think about what happened to me. They turned away the $20 because he's afraid of getting fired. But also, like that could have been his and it would have been fine.

And it would have been totally fair. If they'd asked him, it would have been what the charge was. So he could have just put it in a desk and told him he'd taken cash, but he's too afraid of getting fired to take the cash. It's a little bit different situation for you, Dan, and your very fancy car. I'm sure he knew that you had an MX platinum

somewhere in your wallet. But it's got like a fiddle. He's got no cash in right now. It wasn't the same guy, though. It wasn't one of those values. It was just a guy behind, he was guy with the worst valet job, the guy behind the desk.

It goes back to the people that need to take their job a little less seriously meter maids, like people that park cars and stuff like that. Like I got you, but also don't take it so serious. Like you could take the 20 bucks you put my car away, like we'll be good, I promise. Take it serious unless it has to do with me. You're gonna let Dan off the hook.

It's a final segment of the show. Give us your goddamn four teams. Yep, three to go. Okay, so we have Washington in the one seat and then the two seat is the winner of Georgia and Florida. Washington's your number one. I know that they were in, but did you clarify that they were your number? I shouted excitedly that they were my number one, but only the I just had this conversation with Jessica off air because I'm saying to her, you want to help me with my Heisman vote. I've got my

Heisman vote is due now and she was actually making the argument. I'm like, I'm not sure whether to go stats or story because the best story, but this isn't merit-pins. Jordan Travis is Heisman winner now. No, I don't know. After the last 24 hours that we've all had, Jordan Travis is the Heisman winner. The most important player in college football.

The guy that had to send out a tweet, I broke my leg earlier, considering that we've just changed potentially a football history with this. Give that kid the highs. Do you think that Jordan Travis, while I believe everything he tweeted yesterday, do you think that there's any small part of him that has a little fist bump on the table?

Yes. Look how important I am. I crumbled all of this. Do you guys think that I should vote for that over Panics who I've enjoyed throwing 25% of his passes are deep balls like that guy slings that he made Indiana matter and I just love his story. He's been so injured. I love his story too. He's torn both ACLs. He did it at Indiana. Like he's he's an incredible story and incredible player. But if I have to put any stock in with the college football playoff

committee just told me there is no better nor more important player on the planet right now in college football than Jordan Travis. I think you also look at the fact that Penex made his former head coach at Indiana $40 million in his buyout. I can't think of something more Heisman worthy than that. I mean, that is substantial. But Dan, if you want help with this, just give me your vote. I'll take care of it. When you see at the Heisman show that someone

made a vote for Sam Hartman, maybe you'll wonder who it was. Maybe everyone listening to the show, they'll know. Dan is going to lose another vote. No, but as a joke, should we then just make it Travis and make a number one, and that'll be the one vote, and then he then, Penex loses by by one vote and the great story is my fault because I made a joke of the Heisman vote that's got to be sacred. They're not allowed to get mad at it. I've heard a lot of impassioned debates about how you have I would them out because the quarterback's heard if that quarterback wins the Heisman you shut your

mouth. I'm willing to do that, Jess. I'm willing to make a joke of the Heisman by voting that number one over Penex whose story I legitimately love and Daniels by the way deserves deserves it. He does deserve it, but you only get one vote. Do you have to do it in order? Okay, top three. So you're just gonna put Travis, that's it. No one will put Travis.

I'll put Travis number one. Right, Tyler Van Dyke number two. And who's number three? Let's just make the whole thing a joke. Who's Poppy voting for? Well, they took, no, my father gave his vote back. He damn levitards. I was doing that.

I, if you look at the odds, Jaden Daniels last, I looked at him 24 hours ago before Jordan Travis became the most important player in the nation. Jaden Daniels was a leader by a lot. He put up a thousand of his yards against army, Georgia state and grambling state. Every time you tuned in to watch Jaden Daniels play a big game. LSU would inevitably lose that game and he wasn't the best player on that field.

There have been three lost hyzmens before. Lamar Jackson, Tim Tebow, when you watch their games, you knew that they would lose those games, but it wasn't because of quarterback because the quarterback was ballin out. You can't have your hyzeman moment at 2.45 in the afternoon on ESPN 2. I'm sorry, not having a great player. Get out of here with that. He is a great player and Ellis, you did have a very Brian Kelly-esque season and lost all of the games that really would have mattered and the games that to have a successful

season and to even be considered for the Heisman because like I'm not saying that the Heisman should be this way, but there are certain positions that you do not qualify for a Heisman if you play and there are certain qualifications that your team has to meet for you to be in contention. And for whatever reason, I mean, it's because they lost three games. LSU is, this has now become the debate, right? Jane Daniels, probably one of the best quarterbacks in college football, but you lost three games. LSU is, this has now become the debate, right? Jane Daniels, probably one of the best quarterbacks in college football, but you lost three games.

And in the games that you won, you had to play all four quarters because your defense was letting everyone score on you. He was bad against Alabama and Florida State. He was bad against Alabama. He was good against Alabama, but he got knocked out of the game. He wasn't the best player on the field,

and they do often say when you see someone on the path to a Heisman victory. Oh, that's a Heisman moment right there. He hasn't had these Heisman moments and that's not the distinction to win a Heisman. It hasn't always been that way, but he hasn't had a Heisman moment. Mike, I'd go. It seems like a de facto pick. I'd go the other way on this.

I would say he has had his Heisman moment and the Heisman moment is this because it's the cosmos laughing at us. The guy who's going to win the Heisman, FSU is not getting any credit for beating that football team because it's shit. Like FSU is not in this running because their SEC victory doesn't matter against the best player in college football. Like that's the cosmos laughing at you. You guys want my four picks and I just want to laugh at all that shit. Like you guys want who might. It's an excellent point that I hadn't considered.

They're gonna just hand this high's been over. He's the best in jaded Daniel. Florida State beat him doesn't mean anything. No, Florida State beat him. There were five at the time. That's it was early in the season. It's when we all learned, oh Brian Kelly fraud LSU fraud best player in the sport

when he's not playing FSU. What's your score? Louis team. Three to go. They find a way to make it teams fraughty after FSU beats them. It's funny how that happens. I want you for.

It's a week of content for me to leak it out over four and then make the Heisman a joke. I love Penex. I do. I think he needs to lose by A vote. It's a great story. I think honestly, people wanted Oregon to win the Pac-12 championship just to make it easy

to vote for Bones. Because Bones had a crazy completion percentage, scored a ton of touchdowns at a hundred yards. Four days, a couple of years. Yeah. No doubt. Yeah. And it would have been an easier story. I got Milro.

I mean, what are we doing there? I love Milro. Milro. Yep. I love this guy. Also, another great story. Sometimes he will throw a crazy pass and you will say, wow, that was so off target.

And then sometimes he'll throw a dime and he'll win the SEC championship and he'll run. So he's been winner ever been benched. That's great. The whole thing is great. And bench because he was bad against FSU who dragged the best player in the sport.

You can't, this is God laughing. that and bench because he was bad against FSU who dragged the best player in the sport. Like that you can't like this is God laughing. Bench, yeah, Bench, because he was bad against Texas. Right. If Bama played FSU, it wouldn't made everybody's life easier. The idea that the best player in college football averaging a first down every time he touches the football team. No, I'm going to drag it out a little bit.

Maybe one today. Michigan will be out. Michigan would not be as good as one out. Get out of here. Get out of here. Out. Out. Out.

Cheaters. Out.