The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz - Hour 2: Onward!

Episode Date: September 6, 2023

It's time for our final Suey nominations: Best Story! Then, Mitch McConnell has been freezing, James Harden is a mastermind, and there's more meat on the diarrhea plane story. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

You're listening to Giraffe King's Network. This is the Dunluba Tarshou with the Stugat's Podcast. We've got our final Sui categories to gods. It's lasted two weeks and Voting concludes at the end of this week, but the voting on these two categories We closed the voting for last week's categories already so revelations earlier this week Which was a little disappointing compared to the other usually most years we have great revelations This was a down year for revelations. How did you feel about stories, Chris?

Stories is better. That's why I saved it for the end. It's just good. There were literally probably over 35 stories. And now it's cut down to my favorite nine or 10. This is always revelation and stories are always the hardest because there's just so many in there long because you need context. But I feel really good about these final stories. I think not having winning him around really screwed us with revelation

Yeah, he had the strangest one. He would love to offer off his owner of the way. Let's see. Let's see for ourselves You didn't know he's in stories And now the Sui nominees for Best Story. Mike Schur, Naked Guy at the Jim Story. There was an NBC Jim in 30 Rock and I went and I went once. And the reason I only went once is I went in and I saw a fairly famous person named names fully nude, one foot up on a bench, blow drying his undercarriage. I mean, it was off fromriage. It was off from it. It was off from it.

It was Nick Ophor. This is way this is 1999 or 2000 or something. It will get us. It will get us. Roker. I'm not, no, I won't tell you. You won't. Just blow drying.

So please be stone Phillips. But stones Phillips. I'm not going to tell you who it was, but it was pretty much. We played twenty-three, dude. No towel, no t-shirt, no nothing. One foot up, like full power hair dryer. Maybe got a nose. Please hand in shoes from his.

Please be broke off. Blurring my balls back. It was, right? Broke off. I'm not my bullseye. It was, right? Broke off. I'm not going to say. Nothing you can do to get me to say who this was. You can just guess all you want. You can fire as many guesses as a music one.

Breaking news is I'm blow-drying my bullseye. Brian Scalabrini, Celtics arm wrestling story. For every reason, it was our 2018 and everyone was arm wrestling for whatever reason. It's like, I don't, that team was like borderline psychotic, but so KGM, Big Baby, you're going to arm wrestle on the plane. And so they sit down and I'm, listen, I believe in Kevin Garnett. I will run through a wall. I think that dude can help us win.

I think the world at him. If he says he's going to do something, I believe him. But for whatever reason, I did not believe. And nor did anybody on the plane believe that Kevin Garnett was gonna beat Big Baby. So Paul Pierce stands up with the money, right? And he's like, I got all bets on Kevin Garnett. So I don't even gamble.

I pulled out my tens, my ones, my everything. I put it on Big Baby, right? For my everything. I put it on big baby. Right? All the money was on big baby. So Paul Pierce has like, I mean, it must have been $10,000, $20,000. Guys, if you feel like there was free money out there, you would jump on that. So, all right, we got all this money on the plane.

We got these two guys about to arm wrestle. And the arm wrestling starts and KG just stares at big baby. It doesn't move and big baby is trying and he's trying to get him down and Garnet's like kind of like stone face not moving, not moving. He's like, I ain't moving, punk. I'm not moving. I'm not moving. And he kept saying that big baby kept trying and trying all of a sudden Kevin Garnet go, there it is. And he starts to move. Big baby starts getting worse. Man, arm wrestling, pulp here is just picking up all this money.

And he's like, I got the money. Kevin Garnett stands up and he's drenched sweating. And he turns around on the plane where there's like kids on the plane and media people and everything turns around. It's like, I'm the alpha male in this blank, and he blank. I'm the super back gorilla in here. The whole plane was going nuts. I mean, the coaches were there watching it was insane. Bill Lawrence Harrison Ford story. My two meetings with Harrison Ford is trying to murder me with tequila, both of them. It was an 80 year old man. My wife and I went down the street from him, and he's like,

why don't you guys come up and have a drink? And I said, look, I'll come up there for a drink, but my kids get home from college tonight and it's not gonna be crazy. So he said, one drink. So I walked up to his house and he met us at the door and he said, we're gonna have one drink which probably up shots first.

So then he gave my wife and I shots on the way to the bar to get our one drink. You know, and then he gave us both our individual bottles. Kila, he regaled us with stories of his life, which is more interesting than all our lives combined. And then I noticed my wife kind of, you know, when people's eyes kind of lose focus, you know, she was drifting in terms of needing

to get home fast. She's like, I gotta go to the bathroom real quick, but then we gotta go home. And the second she get home fast. She's like, I'm gonna go to the bathroom real quick, but then we gotta go home. And the second she walked out, Harrison Ford's like, if your wife's not here, I'm probably gonna smoke a pot. And I'm like, hey, more power to you, whatever you need to do, man. And then my wife came downstairs, we walked down to my house,

and I had to hold her, or she would have become that ball from the Indiana Jones movie, just rolling like a stone down the hill. And I got her home and Harrison for 80 years old he said like how fun was that onward and then he sprinted back up the hill to his house and I walked into my home barely able to focus because I was so drunk so fast and my son was there and I said hey man good to see you. What time is it? And he said 5 30, 5 30 p.m. . . . .

. . . . I think he had a Jones tried to kill me between 415 and 530. It's fantastic. That's how the guy went to his life. Chelsea Handler, story of her mom saying she would never fly first class. The first time I got on a plane with my mom,

we walked by the first class section, and I was like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, what's this? What's this? And my mom's like, oh, don't worry, honey, this is first class. We're never gonna fly first class. We have six children in our family. We can't afford that.

And then three years later on my next flight, guess who I was 13 years old, I had saved up all my babysitting money, and we were flying to California to visit my grandparents, and I've got myself a first class ticket. And when we boarded that plane, I sat in two A, and my mom looked at me and she said, honey, what are you doing? I told you we don't fly first class, and I was like, speak for yourself.

I bought this ticket, and I will see you at the end of the flight. Holy shit. What is that? Like, what did that feel like? What did it feel like to have to be able to spit that at 13 years old? I felt like the beginning of the rest of my life Chris Wittingham got recognized while pooping in a public bathroom It was at high-life a drunk fan of the show followed me into the bathroom I had to shit and so I took too long and the guy like shouts in the middle of the bathroom Hey, when he's shitting in the bathroom

I was trying to get away with it. So this is a very sort of effervescent man He was like hey big fan of the show and like he's in the he's in the bathroom and like he's shouting it Oh, there's a fancy lad in the in the stall And I'm like in there. Oh wow So he was doing a team yeah, no he was he was like holding In the Like I'm like I'm kind of be confusing to a lot of people Exactly like I was I Joe I was trying to wait the sky out.

I would just be there a lot of night. There's no way in that guy out. I mean, he's the only one you leave for. The Ligerent. The Ligerent about pointing out that I'm there, pointing out that I'm in the bathroom, and I'm waiting, and I'm waiting, I'm waiting for him to, for mean to no longer hear his voice. He shut up for two seconds, and then the next things that he said was, when he's shitting,

that was it. He didn't. Hank Azaria yelling at an NBA ref story. In the fourth quarter, that terrible traveling call against Josh Hart. Do you see that? That was awesome. Yeah. Of course.

Yeah. And it cost us a three, a pretty key three because he had dished it off the bar and bar and hit a three and they got it back. The ref happened to walk right by me right after that call and like a good New Yorker. I yelled, you pulled that call right into his ear. Right. And he actually went, sincerely went, I know, I know, I know. I couldn't believe it.

He just admitted it. You wouldn't let it. You're off the alert. Jay Glazer, leg kicking Sean McVeigh story. So I'm sitting here in McVeigh's house one night and we're having some cocktails. Him and Chris Schooler, one of his linebacker coach, and he's like, hey, how long does his leg kick hurt?

They can't be that bad. I'm like, Sean, let's not do this. Cause he come on, I can't be that bad. I'm like, Sean, let's not do this. And he keeps egging me on I said oh my mother Oh, no, I low leg kicked a shit out of something No, he grabs his leg and goes why would you do that? Man, you asked me

His leg to her black and blue We can have that man I had the picture for. And then he made Chris Schule do it. Schule is like, I don't want to do this. No, you got to do this. What got him to and same thing Schule's leg was worse. And then, these guys are morons. Steve Kahn has been to do the same thing. I low leg kicked him.

And the next day he has a killi's tour. Oh my God. Wait, wait. And he said he sent me a fake letter. They try to get me. It was real that he was suing me for tearing his Achilles, but these people are more on site. Dude, it's a low leg kick.

I've been doing this shit for 30 years. Don't ask me to kick you. That's stupid. Keeper of the Stanley Cup Mike Bolt's story of being under attack while in Afghanistan with the cup. Right over for the troops. We went over there. We went there in 07, 8, and 10. And the first time we went over there

is a kind of an interesting story. One of the generals asked me if I'd take the cup to a fob before it operating base. And I said, well, the league doesn't want me leaving Canada, however, let me ask you this. Yeah, I'm not doing that. Are you coming with me? Because it's absolutely.

So we get up in this big US Shunak helicopter with the US Marines. And that's when I realized I was in a war zone like guns pointed I'm like holy cow and and it was we get to the fog the place goes nuts that we're there They were so happy to see us we fly back to Canada and I'm getting ready for a shower in the air raid siren Goes off and I'm like, oh, that doesn't sound too good So I'm looking around for some direction. There's nobody around five minutes ago. There's people everywhere So I'm like all right. I have a towel around me. I'm sitting on the cup case

Kind of looking at a magazine. I hear the fighter jets taking off. It stops after 15 minutes. I grab my shower. As I'm coming out of the shower, as the guys were like, Mike, where were you doing the missile attack? Mike, why? We were under attack. We were miscellized flying in the base. What were you doing? Oh, I sit on the Stanley Cupcase. It's just keeping an eye on you, hanging out. They're like, holy crap, you're dedicated to your job. So, to be under attack in the middle of a war zone, that was pretty wild. Now, I didn't see anything or any missiles, but apparently these Russian old scud missiles that the Taliban have pointed at the base,

trying to hit strategic target, mostly hit the road. But yeah, that was an experience for sure. Meena Kimes, Broken Shoes Story. I went to this really fancy restaurant slash club. And on the way to the bathroom bathroom my shoe broke. The guy said that there was a store that I could buy a new shoe. I don't know why I get this. So I leave the place. I walk on one barefoot one shoe through Miami. I

don't find in my name tell my party. So I'm walking. I don't see a store. I walk like a full block in downtown Miami. You learn a phrase Potasucía Right, potasucía. Yes a couple of nice Well-meaning gentlemen offered to carry me somewhere Like Cleopatra like Like a very very old man and a very very young man both made that offer Which I feel like captures Miami pretty well. So anyways, I get to the store and it's like a very very old man and a very very young man both made that offer which I feel like captures my amy pretty well

So anyways, I get to the store and it's like a deli There's I'm like why in this why did this guy think I would Give you able to get a shoe at a deli. So I walk back I tried to and I so I'm walking up This is a door man to get well. Why would a restaurant need a door man? I don't know and The guy looks I mean he's like you can't come in. You have one shoe. I'm like, yeah, I literally, I want to shoe because you're your bus or whatever. Somebody told me that there'd be a shoe. So he's just looking at me and I was like, I went in with two shoes.

You saw me and he said, not you got one. Cause I'm holding the other one. Bert, Kreischer will Smith's story. The time I thought we'll Smith wanted to have sex with me, it's just me getting in over my head. Go on. Six months into comedy and we'll, we'll Smith's people discover me and they're like, hey man, we want to do a television deal.

We want to think we'll would like you, but you got to meet him. So I was like, okay, so they sent me up to this recording factory, like the studio and I'm like, I'm going to get this guy. Love me. He sits down I'm a whirlwind of personality dude. I love hip-hop. I love J.I. Love you. I love black people You're black. I love every like I'm like hammering this guy We talk for 35 minutes and he just looks at me because I like you. I go. I like you He goes, what are you doing tonight? I don't know and he goes. Let's go to the movies I go cool and then we. He goes, what are you doing tonight? I go, I don't know. And he goes, let's go to the movies. I go, cool. And then we leave.

So I call my dad. Like, guys, a regular dude. I go, he goes, how did it go? I go, went great. He goes, tell me. I said, we're going to the movies. That's like, on a date? I go, no, like, I don't know.

He goes, who else? I go, just me and the him and he goes, oh, buddy. No. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry this is happening to you. This is called the casting couch. Oh, no. Hollywood star. I've had sex with so many women that they're bored with having sex with

women. The only thing that turns them on is the look on a young boy's face as they turn them into a gay guy. And I go, Dad, that's impossible. He goes, no, no, I heard about it. I'm telling you, I go, Dad, this is impossible. He goes, let me, let me ask me ask you a question What's more likely the fact that you're so talented that in six months of the standup the biggest movie star in the world Was to make a TV show about you? Or are these tired of having sex with women? I was like, I'm screwed Did you go to the movie afraid that you were gonna have to ward off his advances? I showed up. It wasn't even a movie theater was that planet Hollywood, which is even weirder.

So I'm sitting in the waiting room. Dude, 6'7, black guy comes in, sticks his head and he goes, yo, you burnt? I go, yeah, and he goes, I'm Charlie Mack. I was like, I'm gonna have to have sex with this guy. Like, God, this is gonna be a long night. I'm gonna stare. I'm gonna stare. gonna be a long night. I got downstairs, I got downstairs, there's a folding room, the size of a hotel room, but a room of folding curtains all around it,

and there's 10 black dudes in there. And I'm like, oh my God, it's gonna be a long night. I got these 10 black guys, I got Charlie Mac, I got Wilson and some Shrews bringing Jazzy Jeff. That's 13 dude. So I just sat there and then and then we'll walked in with Jazzy Jeff. I swear to God. He's like, yo, guys, this is the guy I was telling you about and they all look at me like,

oh, okay. And they start walking towards me. I'm like, all right, here we go. It's game time. And then the curtains open up behind me and there's a private movie theater and we'll go grab us two seats, me and Jazzy will sit next to each other

and I'll get a shrimp, what do you wanna drink? And we had long night on STs and we watched American Pie. And then at the end of the movie, it's a great movie, obviously it's a great movie. At the end of the movie, lights come on and he goes, what'd you think? It's just a great movie.

And he goes, no, no, no, about the room. Like, it's very nice. And he goes, no, about the guys in the room. I go the guys in the room He's like, yeah, what did you think and I was like, oh no they're they're black and he goes hey man You said you were a hip-hop fan. That's cool mo D Oh, that's Bismarkey. That's big daddy Kane any walk and I was like I could have had sex with my mouth open wide A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A My last year didn't have quite enough laughter in it, but I don't think I laughed harder on this show than when Chris Cody was trying to pretend to be the Stanley Cup. During that interview with the guy who wasn't actually the protector of the Cup, we learned days later that they sent us a fake cup with the second-in-command. Brian Williams apparently over there in Afghanistan or whatever. But Stugatz's favorite part of the story, revelations was just Harrison Ford at 80,

concluding afternoon drinking by sprinting up a hill and just saying, onward. Onward! Sprinting away, hammered. You can hear him say it. You could see him saying it. It's something that ours at Ford would say and do. Onward. He's got a lot of life at 80 years old. And I wanted to segue into something as a mean talks about, oh, Jay Simpson getting old. And I really can't believe, Stu Gotts, that after the last decade of insanity in this country, that the best we could do at President,

is these two white walkers that are just incredibly old. And you worry about the President of the United States dying of natural causes before democracy gets threatened again in 2024, but the audio and the video that I wanted to play for you in the audience because I can't believe that this is something that's happening, which is that the power gluttony is such, and it doesn't matter what you have to do to just keep the power that Mitch McConnell would be in one of the most powerful positions at a time that the United States needs real leadership and is so old that what is happening to him in press conferences is just freezing. This week has been good about ours in cooperation and a string of Do you want to say anything else to the press? How can we not do better than this? Go ahead, John. I'll take that. Later. Let's go back to you. Go ahead, John.

How can we not do better than this? That's the first time it happened. Then it happened a second time. It's a little shorter, slightly less awkward, but it happened a second time. Is there a year for election? Three short years. One of your thoughts on it? I'm sorry, I don't have a hard time here. That's okay. What are your thoughts on running for I'm sorry, I don't know what I'm here to do.

What are your thoughts on running for re-election in 2016? What are my thoughts about what? Running for re-election in 2006. Oh, that's true. Did you hear the question, Senator? Running for re-e in in 2026. All right, I'm sorry. Are you all right? We're going to need a minute.

Senator. Ready. Oh How she did not do him any favors just like right up on him just like did you hear the question senator How about the first one do you have anything further to say the media? I can't speak well I like that one was as awkward as it was at least the people around them were a little bit more subtle like hey Hey, Mitch good Mitch, but it's not subtle. We all little bit more subtle, like, hey, Mitch, you good? Mitch, you want me to go? But it's not subtle.

We all know what they're doing. Like they walk up and they're like, hey, Mitch, I just asked you another question. It's like, yeah, we, but, but that, Chris, we're trying. I'm like, you rather have someone, hey, you all right or whatever, would you, did you hear them?

They asked you about re-elections. Bitch, like waving hands. Yeah, the problem was that he couldn't hear it. And then, and then she turns that, Mitch is gonna need a second and she winks. Like what are you doing? My guess is he's got people around him who need to speak a little bit louder sometimes because his hearing is one of the malfunctions of the malfunctions in that video. But the idea that our leaders look like that, sound like that, act like that. I'm not even partaking in just your rampant ageism. That's not someone who should be leading people in that condition, making important decisions and blockading the

leadership of others just because the power grab is so overt now in politics that it isn't about competence. It's just about how do I retain power for my party? You know, then I often talk about what Mitch McConnell doesn't want. I don't want that. I've talked about it. I've spent a lot of time with Michelle, Sasha Malib what Mitch McConnell doesn't want. I don't want that. I've talked about it. I've spent a lot of time in Michelle, Sasha Malib, and Mitch McConnell, we don't want that.

Pokes across the aisle agree with it. That's unacceptable. You found it there. A little rough go to the thing. Wasn't? You found it. You were searching for it. It's a little rough thing.

When you get to the kids. It's a little rough thing. The kids, it's the staple. Let it hit. The kids, the kids is consistent. It's the frudge. The kids, the kids, the kids, consistent. You're the comedian who knows where the laughs are. And you say the names of the kids and that booze you.

It sends you into the sky with confidence. It's a great rhythm, building. Now, Mitch McConnell can't build any rhythm. That's kind of obvious when you look at them just freeze up right there. And what's the name of that young lady? I don't know. I don't know the name of the season of favors.

You mentioned that as a mean before. There were no, there were no favors to be done. Once you're, once your congressman is frozen and not speaking and disoriented and can hear, they went, who can do it? Many favors. What, how was that going to get salvaged? You're being a classic second-gatherer, guess, sir, you tell me how that was going to be salvaged. She got distracted from the situation.

Well, perhaps stumbling off camera and going, oh, my ankle. And then people would rush to her aid and then we can sneak with McConnell out the back. No one I stand corrected. The old back there's a fire. That would have been better. It should have been here. She should have flopped. She should have faked an injury. That would have been quick thinking.

You're right. Maybe doing the family guy. Ah! Ah! I want a broke. I mean Ramona Shelburn is doing some original reporting here on the James Harden situation. And James Harden transition is- How fun was that? Onward. The greatest trade asker in the history of sports.

I enjoyed a headline the other day, Stugots, from James Harden's agent, in which James Harden's agent said, he's going to report in the best shape of his life and I expect him to be in the MVP conversation. And I'm like, why is anyone putting a headline on this? Why is anyone talking to this person? But now there's some new reporting

because this is weird, Stu Gatz. It is, Darryl Mori and James Hardin have done a lot for each other. They have both been a partnership that has created a lot of opportunity for both of them. I specifically remember James Hardin's quote of Coach Betrippin when Mike Dantonie said James Harden was going to average 15 assists a year in their new offense.

And even James Harden didn't believe that they would turn him into the player that they turned him into. What is interesting about Shelburn's reporting here? I mean, well, Billy's the one that brought it up to my attention, which was James Harden obviously, Lasha was not an all star by all accounts. He's kind of very hurt by that, but we did not know the extent. Billy, do you want to share what actually happened with the all star game? It turns out that he was invited to be a replacement all star, but according to Ramona

Shellborn, he never got back to Adam Silver because he was quote, pouting the entire time. And then by the time he decided to get back to Adam Silver, they had already replaced him as a replacement. And then he had to make this big stink about how his streak was over. And the 76ers apparently knew what was going on, but they had to find the balance between supporting James Hardin and not upsetting Adam Silver knowing full well that he was an All-Star but didn't get back in time.

So they had to pretend that they didn't know that this happened. That's insane. The idea that you get a call from the league saying, hey, you've been chosen as an injury replacement, you're going to be an All-Star. No one ever remembers, by the way, years later, who was an injury replacement and who was an actual all-star. They just see seven time all-star, 12 time all-star, whatever. The player does, though.

Sure, but like, again, this wasn't a case where you're pride would get in the way to that extent. And my favorite part was, if you had never gotten back, maybe like, hey, I'm not gonna be an injury all-star, that's what the hell? It's just video that only you're seeing. Okay, sorry, I'm not gonna be no injury all-star. That's what the hell? It's just video that only you're seeing. Okay, sorry, you're getting distracted. But MF right there ain't real, okay, got it.

But what the hell was warranted though? I was with you. I heard it in my head, so too. But the thing about Hardin was, he got back to him like four days later, like it was a girlfriend or something, like you know what, I'll call her on my own time. That's not how this thing works.

The other part that's really interesting is that he thought he was gonna get a new deal from the Sixers, but Darryl Moray wasn't returning his calls. So that's why he got upset. That's why he opted in and asked for a trade. Darryl Moray said, the reason I didn't call you back was because we just got hit with tampering charges a year ago,

I didn't wanna have the same thing happen, but apparently James has built this whole thing in his head that the world is against him and all that stuff, but I think the most important thing that we learned here is, it was in my fault. Look, I tried, I tried to coach him hard. I tried to do the right thing. We all have to sacrifice

But James you just mad he's mad because he wants to do it all the time and ultimately you know I got fired for it Because he couldn't play in game seven It feels like it hurts that impersonation feels like it hurts Almost as much as getting fired that impersonation feels like it hurts. It hurts almost as much as getting fired. He's deep in character. Were you a theater kid? You're very theatrical.

Why am I? Well, growing up in the mean street Chicago, you have to be able to act a little bit. He's deep in character. We can't pull him out. But what character? That is Billy Asking Doctor. Well, that's the thing.

It's Doc now. It's me. I'm the Austin. I'm saying it's kids today. I mean, it can't just spend back here. Found it. There it is. I'm sorry, did you say theater kid? Miss McConnell.

Do you ever run into Barack Obama and Chicago? I have a couple of times. I'm a big fan. What was that conversation like? Well, I'll let Barry know. I'll let Barry tell you. Hey Barry, you out there? What, what did we talk about that one time? We ran into each other.

I've never met you in my life, dark. Wait, what? We played golf together. That was Bill Cartwright. How fun was that? Onward. It tossed pot of me. I was going to go build a car. I was going to go to Bill Cartwright.

Bill Cartwright was a little bit like Don Rivers. Why would you say that? Why would you say that? Bill Cartwright, 80 Center Bill Cartwright. Dan Lebatard. If I'm at the house with them and they're all rooting, I could just be like, yeah, rah rah rah. Go Yankees. Stugats.

You know, unsettling would be if I attended a live sporting event and someone behind me was just going, Rah rah! Rah! Browns! Rah! Rah rah rah! This is the Dan Lebatard show with the Stugats. Raw! Raw! Browns! Raw! Raw! Raw! This is the Don Lebathar show with this two cats.

Three, two, one. Apologies for the disgusting turn of phrase. And for BilliGill dropping an anvil on the desk behind me. But I feel like we left some meat on the diarrhea plane bone. Without getting like two disgusting, I feel like there's more to discuss there. No, it's gonna get more disgusting. Like brace yourselves.

If you're like, you know what, you guys talk too much, this isn't the segment for you. Sometimes I'm okay with a little meat left on the bone though. I don't need like these people that, they put the wing in their mouth and they pull the, and it's just like completely, it's just like, hey, I don't leave it on the bone. I don't need like, these people that, they put the wing in their mouth and they pull the, it's just like completely, it's just like, hey.

I don't leave it on the surface. I don't like the person you're at the wing place with and they're like, oh, you're gonna leave that? It's like, yeah, I'm done with it. No, it's not just that, it's like, that's not meat. That's like, tendon-like stuff. Right, that's not meat. I'll eat that.

Cartilage, yeah, like, why are you eating that? You want that? You would do? I'll eat all of it. Oh, no way. I'll eat the bone But what do you think needs to be said here that wasn't said earlier about the diarrhea plane the idea of Having to go to the bathroom that way on an airplane seems really uncomfortable those airplane toilets are on an airplane seems really uncomfortable. Those airplane toilets are, they're in the portopoddy sphere

of being awful, just not a place you ever want to have to do that in. They're terrible. I agree with you. This person was clearly very sick. This is not just someone who went to the varsity at the Atlanta Jackson or Jacksonville Hart's Field. Hart's Field, Jackson.

Jackson, yes, thank you. And ate some greasy burgers and then had an accident. This is, Jackson. Jackson, yes, thank you. And eight, some greasy burgers, and then had an accident. This is someone who was very, very ill. But I'm with Dan. I was on a flight recently, and I was in the bathroom, and I was thinking about how the airplane bathroom technology has not improved in like 50 years.

Like they make it terrible for anyone who's going in there to do more than just a number one. And if you're on an international flight, they should make it so that the other passengers aren't inconvenienced by the one guy like on Samson's plane who has to do a number two. And it's terrible. Like, there should be at least one emergency bathroom

for very sick people on each flight. But see, I don't want to get idea. How much tech are you guys looking for? At some point, they're trying to cram as many seats into this plane as possible, right? So, someone's got to sit next to this place. You're always, what the hell is that smell? Am I tripping?

I can smell it right now. It's a Randi Levine situation happening right now in our studio, right? I have smelled it throughout the show. I didn't wanna say anything. Obsurious. Okay. Yeah.

One hell of a who'd done it over here. A glass onion, if you will. I'm not there, it is. I'm the silent one. I knew that was coming. Well, technically, if it's who smelt it, Delta, it'd be a mean. Me, Delta, yeah.

I don't know what this is. I'm being a 1000, it's still got to my lion. No, no. I don't smell it. The one's tooting. That's because we don't have a bathroom for sick people at this office. There you go.

We have to do very public bathrooms. Anyone can go in and out. You don't want to incentivize people to use a bathroom an airplane though Yeah, but if it's nicer people are gonna like I just go to that bathroom Especially yeah, like you want to wait in line for the social contract No people are going no no no the emergency bathroom cannot be nicer than the other bathrooms that no You can't do that because Billy's right. Everyone will sprint to the emergency bathroom. No. If you board a plane sick, you should not get something

that's nicer than the rest of us. I think you should get something that's worse, smaller. I doubt they were sick when they boarded. Because if you have that sort of problem, you're not getting on a transatlantic flight to Barcelona. I think that you have the bathroom be crappy so that people don't put an attendent.

People do not want to use it, right? You don't want it to be nice that everyone will be going in there. We're celebrating the wrong person today. The person that should be celebrated is, you know there was a man or a woman that got up and like, want to go check on the person. Cause you know, like you're sitting in an aisle seat

and this person, you just see like the shit trail. There's gotta be someone on the planet that's like, we should check on this person. Who's the person that stood up, stepped over shit to get to the thing and was like, hey, are you okay in here? Is everybody just mortified and they shamed this person. There had to be people trying to help.

How'd they get off the plane? Did they have to, was it like Indiana Jones where they had to carefully match their steps? You got to do the wheelchair. Everyone had to wheelchair. No, I don't like everybody else on the plane. I put the sick person in the car. And by the way, wheelchair wouldn't do shit.

Sorry, no pun intended. Look at all that. It wouldn't do shit. Look, what were they wearing? That was my number of questions. Look at how much crap is in the aisle. Like, this is only possible if someone was just like, bare-assed running down the aisle.

Shout out to the person who also just went by and looked like they were just dropping napkins on top. Because they're not actually cleaning it up, just as they, as you scroll through the aisle, just like just like someone walked by and was like, here you go, that needs a napkin. It's more than you would do though. I'm just saying.

That's Indiana Jones that's the steps they're supposed to take in order to get out. I wish I could have been a fly on the wall on this plane. I've just seen the people that are helping. I wanna know the helpers. Someone in like 70, that's like, you know what, this is a rough day for this person. I'm gonna get up and go check on that.

Nobody's helping that person. Someone in my ear has just let me know that someone was spraying sort of a vanilla scent on top of the diarrhea. So you can get vanilla scented diarrhea, I guess. I want you all to think for a moment about how impossibly vulnerable that person felt

waddling through that i'll get them on you can't be like randin make it a brandy levine denying it you can't get you don't have you can't got coated in and lies in vanilla said that are there apologies happening as you make your way down the aisle sorry it never happened before is never happened before. This never happened before had to be said. No, this person, I feel terrible for this person.

None of it makes sense also because this plane got diverted back to Atlanta. And then we found out about this a couple days later because of the, I think because the pilot's message to the FAA is public. So flight enthusiast heard that biohazard comment. And then it became public. And now it's like a big story.

It's blowing up. And you know the person who was sick on the plane got home and they were like, well, at least no one's going to find out about this. And then a few hours, a couple days pass and still no one found out about it. Now they're sitting there waiting for their identity to be leaked probably. And they probably feel terrible. I was going to say, shout out to HIPAA, right? Because we don't know who this person is.

Yo, their identity is leaking just like they... The rare shout out to HIPAA. I like the idea that there's some sort of pact that had happened on the plane of like they're making eye contacts with you. You're not gonna tell anybody about this, right? You're not gonna tell anybody nobody's gonna find out about this and then ultimately...

Am I crazy to assume this person was wearing a dress or a skirt? Because how would this have left through Someone's shorts no underwear or pants shorts We're underwear if you're going to Spain from Atlanta. You don't have to you can't free ball that flight I'm sorry that's crazy. I think that the liquid can slide down the leg no matter what the undergarments are especially Given the cotton the amount that we're looking at in these photos. I do need to right now though. This has been a long time coming today and I would say over the course of my journalism career, I don't believe I've

needed to offer someone an apology more than Yankee president Randy Levine because because we keep showing. It's a mecha. Look at him. We keep showing his photo here after David Samson's story of him stinking up a private plane. The haircut does him no favors. The smile does him no favors. And I just feel terrible for him as we continue to mock him as being the denier of making poop smells and a private plane that the will ponds didn't like. So the picture looks like someone had just ran up on him and said, Hey, Randy, you did take a dump on that plane, didn't you?

And he's like, yeah, yeah, it was me. I got it. He looks more like a professional clown without makeup, then Nick nurse. No, he does. What do you mean? No, that was Matthew Barry. No, he runs a balloon shop. He's a professional clown who runs your local balloon shop, totally different professional clown. Tell me, Randy Levine doesn't look like a professional clown. I'm wearing his makeup. How fun was that? Onward.