The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz - Hour 2: Remember COVID? (feat. Amin Elhassan)

Episode Date: September 8, 2025

"Whiskey. On the rocks. Let's get after it. I'm not flying the plane." Amin is here with his Weekend Observations which leads to Chris Cote giving us a Top 5 list of ways he would murder somebody. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Now is a good time to remember where tequila's story truly began. In 1795, Cuervo invented tequila. Quervo. What are you doing here? Quervo. Anytime someone says quarevo, I show up. Well, I do know that to be true, but even during and reads, like... Quervo.

I think he could lay out, especially from one of our great partners. Sweet, delicious quervo. Since then, Cuervo is stayed true to its roots. The same family, the same land, the same passion. Quervo. So, enjoy the tequila that started it all. Quervo. Quervo.

The tequila. That invented tequila. Roximo.com. Please drink responsibly. Quervo. When you're a forward thinker, you don't just bring your A-game. You bring your AI game.

Workday is the AI platform that transforms the way you manage your people, money, and agents, so you can transform tomorrow. Workday. Moving business forever forward. Summer's here, and you can now get almost anything you need for your sunny days

delivered with Uber Eats. What do we mean by almost? Well, you can't get a well-groom lawn delivered, but you can get a chicken parmesan delivered. A cabana? That's a no. But a banana? That's a yes. A nice tan. Sorry. Nope. But a box fan? Happily, yes. A day of sunshine? No. A box of fine wines? Yes. Uber Eats can definitely get you that. Get almost, almost anything delivered with Uber Eats.

Order now. Alcohol and select markets. Product availability may vary by Regency app for details. This is the Dan Levator show with the Stucats podcast. I know that you guys don't want to talk about anything but football, but Amino Hassan is going to be here in a moment with some of his weekend observations. I still don't think we've gotten appropriately to the story about gator player spits on someone, and that's the reason that they lose as an 18-point favorite to South Florida at home. Three spitting incidents last week? Well, four, if you count Dak Prescott, if you make it two separate spitting incidents.

But yes, it's a little bit strange. to have four of these spitting incidents in 10 days. If you're the Eagles coach in the next team meeting with Jalen Carter, are you like, see what you did? Now the gators are doing it. See the imprint that you have on these kids? Negative role model. I don't think that came up.

Be better. It's a coaching moment. Remember, like, COVID? Yeah, that's good. Imagine spitting on people during COVID. It's a good point. But we don't have time for it because we've got to move to all the other things happening all across sports, including.

I think you go to jail if you spit on someone. during COVID, right? Like, actually, I think you would have gone to jail, if not prison. Oh, it's true. Yeah, that's true. Put it on the poll, Juju, at Lebitard show. Would you have gone to prison if you had spit on someone during COVID? Well, we can't get to that. No, we don't have time for that. But just if we're going to just glance through tennis and, oh, what, an all-time grade said everyone's better than him now? Okay, let's just move on. How about NASCAR? Mike, where's your gearhead? Get the gearhead, put it on. You'll have one chance at this because we've got too much to talk about today. So you're going to have to do it like

they do with the cars in that sport fast. Okay, Denny Hanlon's the best story in motorsports right now because not only is he suing NASCAR, but he's also an active driver. And he's a driver trying to chase down his first ever NASCAR championship. That's right. Denny Hanlon's been a name that you've probably known tangentially with that sport for 20 plus years. He's won Daytona a few times, but he's never won the big one, the big one being a championship. He won the race yesterday, gave another trademark heelish speech, but there might be anti-hero vibes here for Denny Hamlin because he's trying to reform the sport, a sport that does need reforming, and he's going to do it potentially by winning this championship and demanding he be heard. Here's Denny Hamlin after winning

the most recent NASCAR race. Y'all can boo me, but you can either get on the bandwagon or you can get run over by it. Do you still love the booze? Bring them. Bring them all. Lame trash talk. You think that's lame? That's iconic.

The guy is suing NASCAR. He's like either get on the bandwagon or get run over it. What do you, Chris, he is in full villain mode. You don't like when a guy is challenging everyone in his sport to a fight? Just seemed kind of lame to me. Like, oh, get on board or get run over. You're kind of lame to me. That is so badass.

He's suing NASCAR. He doesn't want to talk about anything except football. What's a lawsuit about? Charters. Because they're not. Yeah, we went over this. Michael Jordan's among the teams suing NASCAR right now because the charter system is unfair.

You essentially pay a franchise fee, and it puts you in the hole. It's impossible to make money in this sport. Michael Jordan's fine losing money, but he's not being fine with your distance. respect. And Denny Hamlin's not fine with it either. Now, even though Denny Hamlin races for another team, Joe Gibbs Racing, he co-owns that team with Michael Jordan. So he's trying to win this cup series for Joe Gibbs Racing, all while trying to fight for he and Michael Jordan's team

to get access to charters and reform the sport. It's incredibly brave, incredibly vulnerable, dangerous even. In fact, some people were having fun with the fact that while he was crossing the checkered flag, the feed actually cut out. So you didn't get it. had a great call of Danny Hamlin winning this race, but then he talked that shit afterwards. Danny Hamlin becoming likable. Why is he racing for someone else's team? Like if you own your own team, wouldn't winning a championship for yourself be better than winning one for someone else? Boring suit. Oh. He needs to win as the driver, though, to cement his legacy is one of the greatest. I want to apologize to you that you get so little support when you talk NASCAR

around here. It's NASCAR. It's a football Monday. It's fine. I mean charter. You guys obviously weren't dialed into TV one, the Enjoy Illinois 300. That was the TV one with sound for me. I'm going to try with Amin El Hassan here in a moment to keep as much football out of this hour as I can because I'd like to have a show that is a little bit balanced, if we could, on these football Mondays as we get overrun. Insane business decision. Well, what are you thinking? What have you? Football, football. What shots have you not gotten off today? I don't need to get off shots. We're just here to talk some football. Well, what do you want to? back, Jack. Thank you, Greg. Greg gets it. Football is back, Jack. Damn right. Right. Do you have anything other than that, though? Like, if you want to talk football for real, what have we not talked about the Duke? The Duke is not opined. Well, we talked about the Steelers already.

We talked about the Dolphine. Not looking to review what we have talked about. Football. We were talking about spitting. We stopped talking about spitting for a little bit. Plenty of college going around. The Shulabbles right around the corner. We talked about that earlier. There is. But also, there is to be talked about. There is, but also there is to be talked about... Monday Night Tilt tonight. Jonathan Zaslow's meteoric ascent through the priciest places in media entertainment. He is flying first class.

Yeah, baby. He is landing in suites. He's sending me photos every time he lands in a suite. I did. He is getting giant rooms on the road because of how good his college football coverage is... I will be honest. Week one, my suite, it was a little too big, but this week, that was the right kind of... That was the right size suite.

How about first class? What are the first class adventures you've been experiencing? Very few people at ESPN get first class. So I'm not a big first class guy my entire life, but I'm flying first class now. Mike, I didn't appreciate you trying to call me out on my way to Dallas this weekend. It didn't look like first class. It wasn't because I was flying southwest. Yeah.

I was sitting in the first row. Was there a reason for that? No, I mean, it was it was direct flight, so I flew southwest. Is there a shortage of premium airliners flying from South Florida to Dallas? It seems like it's a hub city. That's a hub city to hub city. At the time I wanted to go. So I was sitting in the front seat in Southwest, but on the way back, I was sitting first class.

I wasn't on Southwest. I was flying American on the way back, and I was sitting first class. And let me tell you something, this first class, pretty good, pretty good. We're about to take off. See, I'm not used to first class. We're about to take off. And the young lady, she comes up. He goes, sir, can I get you a drink?

And I think about it for a second. Before takeoff? Before takeoff. And I think about it for a second. I'm like, yeah, whiskey, on the rocks. Let's get after it, you know? Why the hell not? You're not flying.

I'm not flying the plane. And so I'm drinking my whiskey, you know, whatever. And then like 25 minutes later, we're about to take off. She comes up to me. She's like, sir, I have to take your drink. I'm like, oh, really? I guess you can't have the drink while we're... I'm not flying the plane.

Why can't I drink my drink? my drink while we're taking off. Is something going to happen? Is there going to be like, you got to have your tray tables up, so where's the drink go? Well, in my hand? They're not strapping my arms down. They're usually not good with trusting you to do that the right way. So she wants to take it. So I take a huge gulp, obviously, Greg. I'm not trying to let the whiskey go away.

Yeah, you got to savor that. It tastes so good when it touches my lips. Did she even know who you were when she took it from you? Who cares, man? That far she took it. I don't think she did. Who does she think she is? Mickey Harrison?

I take a huge gulp. It doesn't, you know, it's not all of it. I'm not trying to... Do you make the face? When you take a big sip of whiskey, you're like... No, I'm a grown-a-ha. I'm a grown-up. I don't make faces when I drink my whiskey.

And so I give her back the drink. It's so a little bit of it left. I'm a little bit annoyed, you know? I mean, it's not her fault, but I'm a little bit annoyed. She's like, man, like, I'm going to pay for that drink and you're taking it from me. I was a little bit annoyed. And then right when we, after we take off, she comes right back up to me. And she goes, sir, what brands were you drinking?

I'm going to bring you another drink. I'm like, oh, hell yeah. And I told her, Wood for Reserve, please. And that's when I realized, oh, I'm not even paying for these drinks. They're just coming for free. I didn't even know that. And then she comes up to me a little bit after that. Like, sir, would you like dinner?

I'm like, what do you have? And so I order some kind of pasta salad. I thought I was going to get like some little bowl. She brings me an entire plate. I got this pasta salad. I got a side of veloat. veggies. I got another little salad. I got a cake. This plate was so big. I had to move my iPad off my tray where I'm watching football to make room for this spread that she brought me.

This first class is incredible. So what do you, Jed Clampett and Beverly Hills? You've never flown first class before? I had a great flight home. This was wonderful. And then... Look at old privilege. Look at old privilege over here. He's talking one of the original Beverly Hillbillies, the old guy. But Grant Cody looking down his nose at others because his wife's a law partner, not because the sports writers get in first class. He's not here about the cake.

He got cake too. A little bit of a cake right there. A little bit of a cake right there. What kind of cake? I don't know. It was some like honey BS, you know. I don't know, man. It wasn't asking. Free cake. Yeah, it was that free cake. First class cake. And so, you know, I ate up all the food and then they

took my tray and then guess what happened next, Billy? She said, Would you like another drink? What? And you said no, thank you. You're hammered at this point. You're wrong about that, Billy. I said, yes, I would like another, please.

So you have taken off, though. You're in your first hour and your four whiskeys in? Yeah, this is like the first 30 minutes. I'm hammered, but, you know, 45 minutes into this flight. I'm having a great time. Greg Cody, has the Miami Herald ever bought you a first-class flight? No. So what are you saying that you've never flown first-class flight?

class because he's excited about first class. Why are you're first class shaming it? I'm not, but you are. You called him Jed Clampett, the original Beverly Hillbilley. I don't even know what that reference means. I'm so happy for his success. Thanks, man. That sounded incredible. He made first class seem like a place that, you know, that's goals right there. I loved it. I couldn't believe it. Now, are you going to continue flying first class? Well, it depends. If it's available on the flight, like, it's not necessarily available on every flight that I choose, like, you know, my Southwest flight on the way there this weekend. Because here's my question. I don't mean to upset you potentially here but you're not exactly dressing first class don't you worry

about that i feel like when you go first class you have to wear a certain you have to have a certain look about you it's not a backwards heat hat you would be wrong and a wrinkly t-shirt you know some guy in business attire with his laptop open i'm like this guy seems i think you need a sport coat with all due respect he knows what first class looks you got to wear a watch yeah let me ask you question between all of us, this room and that room right there. Who flew first class this weekend? Raise your hand. Oh, wow, what a shocker. I'm going on my hand raised. So I'm pretty sure I know what you need to do when you're in first class. Everyone's wearing a watch in first class. Nobody else flew this weekend. This is a great breakdown of SMU Baylor.

Put it on the poll at Lebitard show. Is it okay to fall asleep last night with five minutes left in the Sunday night football game. All right, Smyranoff. Official vodka of the NFL, the world's number one vodka. Here's the deal. Game day is everything. The noise, the rituals, the passion, the dip, the wings, the dip again. Smyrnav belongs in that mix because if you're tailgating or hosting or just sitting

there checking your fantasy lineup every 30 seconds, you need Smyrnav. Otherwise, it's not a real game day. They've been doing this since 1864, which is, I don't even want to do the math. A long time. They're award winning. They make cocktails super easy, and they're all about bringing fans together.

So, yeah, we do game days. That's their thing. And if you're over 21, you should too. Grab a bottle of Smyranoff at your local retailer and head to Smearnoff.com to find recipes of delicious cocktails perfect for game day. Please drink responsibly.

Smyranoff, number 21 vodka. Distilled from grain. 40% alcohol by volume. The Smeerov company, New York, New York. Please do not share with anyone under legal drinking. age. What's up, listeners? I don't know about you, but when I was a kid, I certainly dreamed big.

I think when we were all kids, we dreamed big, whether we wanted to be astronauts, presidents. Personally, I wanted to be a pitcher for the then Florida Marlins. Now, we're dreaming of something else, like owning our own businesses. But let's be honest, launching it is total chaos. Websites and shipping, your cousin who wants to collab, it's a mess. That's where Shopify comes in. They power 10% of all e-commerce in the United States, from brands like Mattel to your aunt's candle shop. Can't design a site? Shopify's got ready-to-go templates.

Need help writing copy or touching up picks? AI tools. Want customers? Built-in email and social tools. And if you get stuck, 24-7 support. Real award-winning human beings. Turn those dreams into and give them the best shot at success with Shopify. for your $1 per month trial and start selling today at Shopify.com slash

batard. Go to shopify.com slash batard. Shopify.com slash batard. Hit pause on whatever you're listening to and hit play on your next adventure. This fall get double points

on every qualified stay. Life's the trip. Make the most of it at Best Western. Visit bestwestern.com for complete terms and conditions. Don Lebertar. My algorithm on Instagram It's dance, all boobs

Stugats It's a good algorithm This is the Dan Levitar show With the Stugats Zaz, were you filling in for someone on Friday who just didn't go to work to cook? Oh my God Yeah, well I do every Friday night with Amber Wilson

She hosts Amber and Ian on ESPN radio That's Ian Fitzsimmons. But I do the show with her on Friday nights because we travel when we do the show on location wherever we are. But listen to this, crap. Ian Fitzsimmons lives in Dallas, Texas. So instead of doing his show on Friday night, which I'm glad to do the show, I want to do the show. But instead of doing the show that his name is on, he was cooking for everybody at ESPN Radio at his home, except for me and Amber. We're working.

And he's cooking for everybody else. That's how Freddie Fitz does it. everybody knows that's not a real person that's why you're a bigger star than freddy fit and you'll always be a bigger star than freddie fit umina el hasson is joining us now and we're always delighted to see him we're going to get to his weekend observations in a second but before we do so what can you update us on the pablo clippers beef at the we've left this behind and it's still a giant story pablo troy has the number one sports podcast in america right now because it's such a giant story and because he's so far ahead on this story i mean you helped uh with the uh an

unveiling what have you found interesting about over the weekend clipper's reaction everything happening around what appears to be a giant scandal now like because people are realizing wait a minute it's it no matter what your cynicism you have millions and millions of dollars for a no show job is sort of beyond the pale on what we thought we were doing where we were skirting the rules right i think dan first of all the idea that pablo is kind of just shooting from his hip, which is what many people kind of initially came out. Even the clippers, their first statement said something like can are easily provable or provably false or something like that.

And then as Pablo noted, they put out a revised statement that sounded like the first one except the words provably false was removed. That's the lawyers. The lawyers got in there like, buddy, you guys cannot prove that these allegations are false at the very least. Mark Cuban getting in a Twitter fight with Pablo and then basically Pablo having to bail on the live stream we were doing because Mark Cuban was like he's ready to go right now

and then Mark Cuban got on and talked in circles basically his main point was hey rich people don't know how much money they have or how much money they're investing in stuff so that was interesting but the other thing Dan was all the text messages I got from people around the league in various capacities team employees former team employees league execs, agents, and all of it with something along the lines of, yeah, this happens, but, oh, I think they're screwed.

Because everyone sees it's not just the magnitude of the money, Dan. It's also the amount of stuff in writing that links all these parties together. Mike, what are you guys laughing about back there? That Mark even took to social media to be like, hey, I talked in circles for an additional two hours. Good at it. This honestly was stunning to watch happen. I mean, I don't know if you're informed. I feel like you're super, super informed here,

and you can allow people to see inside of what the second episode of Pablo Tori finds out was where Mark Cuban, armed with very few facts, underestimated the amount of information that Pablo had. So Pablo's got all of this information that is not only credible, but just fair fact-finding, and Cuban's response is some form again and again of, well, Steve Balmer's not that dumb. Right. But at the same time, almost infantilizing Steve Baumers, like, he was a victim he got taken advantage of.

And Pablo rightly points out, like, which one is it? Is he Mr. Magoo? Or is he like a guy who, it wasn't, didn't do his due diligence because he's rich and he's got other people to do that and they didn't do that. Mark Cuban brings up a story by how he got scanned. And it's just like, none of this really makes sense because at the end of the day, Cuban and Balmer, who, by the way, we need to get to his conversation with a remote show. because I was like, man, you should not have done that. You should not have sat down and answered those questions that prematurely. But Dan, here's the thing they keep coming back to. Well, these guys are scammers, of course. Why would they do this? Oh, they're scammers.

This is what I know about scammers and really most criminal enterprises. The goal is to make money. So if my goal is to scam people, to make money, yes, I'll pay Leonardo DiCaprio. Yes, I'll pay Drake. Yes, I'll pay Robert Downey Jr., because they're going to go out and spread the gospel bring me more money. Why would I pay $28 million to a guy who's not even the most famous dude in his sport, who's notoriously a recluse, who's not going to do anything for me? Four times as much as you're paying any and all of the other celebrities who are bigger

celebrities and better spokesman than he. Yes, it's literally the duality of they're more famous than him. And also, oh, they're going to burn a calorie to sell our scam to the world and legitimize it. This guy's doing none of that. and he's not even that famous outside of basketball to begin with why are they paying him the most how does that help the scam okay i get it they're you're right mark cuban you're right ste balmer these guys are criminals they're awful people they took advantage of people you need to tell me how paying 28 million dollars to quiet leonard help them because i i can't see how it helped aspiration one bit i want to get back to the balmer interview but before we head down that path i want to get zaz's thoughts uh for a mean and just reiterate okay that what you're

Pablo Tori finds out is doing, the degree of difficulty on it. He's got these people pinned with facts. They are facts thoroughly reported by the most ethical of journalism and they're pinned in in a way that makes Bulmer a bit panicked have to go on television before he's ready to talk about things he might not be totally prepared to talk about. I just want to point out again, the NBA investigated some of this stuff. What Pablo did is more thorough in its findings that an NBA investigation that wasn't able to find things like this.

So I just want people to understand that Pablo's degree of difficulty on this, he's got to have the facts in his corner in order to be as confident as he is. I would say, I would clarify, the NBA did their investigation back in 2019, 2020. These events happened after that, number one.

two, much of Pablo's findings are based on aspirations, bankruptcy filing and those documents and that we looked at therein. So we had access to stuff that even if the NBA had done their investigation in 2021, they wouldn't have had access to any of these documents. There's nothing that would have compelled aspiration to hand over that stuff as opposed to bankruptcy filing. I'm saying the fissioniness around all the Kauai stuff has led to investigations and it wasn't able to be, to look like there was this much circumstantial evidence until all of the bankruptcy, filings, and fraud. Right, right.

But I think the bigger thing is that the Clippers have been investigated multiple times under Steve Ballmer over these things. That was another thing a lot of people forgot. DeAndre Jordan, remember the whole thing with the chair and the emoji war and all that stuff when he was almost a Maverick and then he wasn't? Yeah, the Clippers did some caps of a convention during that as well. They kind of set up a side deal with Lexus to pay DeAndre Jordan. The NBA fined them $250,000 for that.

So at this point, with Steve Balmer, it's not just the case of, hey, man, this looks fishy. It's also, you're a repeat offender. This ain't your first rodeo. Well, except Bomber kept saying to Ramona Shelburne there, we know the rules, they know the rules. Okay, man, they know the rules except Uncle Dennis keeps asking for things that are against the rules and you know the rules, but you got tagged for this in the past already with that Lexus deal. So who cares that you know the rules and they know the rules? But back to the Cuban thing real quick, Cuban's whole M.O. the whole time as to why he's team Bomber was because, like, Pablo kept stating his reporting in what is believed to be fact through his reporting. And Cuban's response every time was just, I don't believe Bombers dumbing up to fall for this. And then like, and Cuban then went over an old email that aspiration sent him at the time wanting him to be an investor. And Cuban specifically says the reason he didn't go along with it was because. it was really aggressive

and the money raised several red flags. What bomber go along with it then? Zaz, dude, it was so crazy to hear Mark Cuban make points that were actively working against his argument, right? When he said that, I'm like, do you realize what you're saying? You said Steve Bomber is always too smart

to fall for that kind of thing or to do that kind of thing and then you're telling me that these people, you sniffed out within one email, Steve Palmer, what the full distance with? Come on. And then Steve Bomber with Ramona, I mean, she asked him, hey, how do we know what you guys are doing? He said, because it's against the rules. I'm like, that's not an argument, right? Then he went on, this is my favorite part of the interview by far. He says, Ramona asked him, have you spoken to Kwai? He says, no.

She says, would you like to hear what he has to say about all this? And Steve Barber says, no, it's not my business. It's quiet business. I'm like, what? If you and me Zaz were accused of robbing a bank, and I know. we didn't do it or at least I didn't do it wouldn't I pick up the phone and say Zaz isn't this crazy they think we robbed the bank why would I be like oh no I can't talk to Zaz or that might look fishy they would only look fishy

if I actually did something he could have lied in he could have said not yet I haven't talked to him yet and then literally never talked to him but just still say not yet but he didn't he made it clear uh-uh that's not me that's him and that's the part where I'm wondering is

if that's Steve Bomber's ejection button which is oh we didn't know anything about it. This is Kauai and Uncle Dennis all on their own acting illicitly. It still isn't a strong enough argument, but it might be the argument he tries to run with. And when he was asked,

you know, why was aspiration paying Kauai Leonard to not do anything? He was like, oh, I don't know, they're scammers. Don't scammers normally want you to pay them to do nothing? Right. Not the other way around. I mean, let's play this sound for you from Channing Fry. You tell me what your thoughts are here on him reacting with Kendrick Perkins.

and Richard Jefferson here on the road-tripping podcast. First of all, why are you snitching? No, why are you snitching? Who cares? Why are you snitching? Who's snitching? The reporter's, the reporter's job is to snitch. Our job is to keep it quiet, right?

Like, Balmer didn't tell. Kauai didn't tell. So Pablo's doing what he's supposed to do, and he's doing an absolute great job, shot him out for this investigation. Yeah, Channing went to the University of Arizona not known for its academics. So sometimes some of these things do fly over his head. He's a bright guy, but I got to blame his education at that point.

Now, what do you talk about snitching? Where are we in life? When I was growing up, snitching was if you were doing the dirt, if you're in this thing, that's what snitching is, right? So if I'm also doing this tampering, cap circumvention stuff, I can't be the whistleblower to the source. That would be snitching. But for the rest of us, I don't working, I'm not doing this.

It's not my job to make sure that you're doing all right. If the media's job is as a watchdog, it's to make sure these things come to life. Well, what's Richard Jefferson doing saying my job is to hide that stuff? Isn't he a media member now? Well, he's doing the multiple hats thing. You know, he's bald so he has to wear hats all the time. Players want other players to get paid. Sounds like a bunch of snitches talking to me.

Pocket watching, Kauai, wondering where is he getting all that money from. It's not of your goddamn business where he's getting that money from Pablo? Mind your own business. Where are you getting your money from? With Amex Platinum, access to exclusive Amex pre-sale tickets can score you a spot trackside. So being a fan for life turns into the trip of a lifetime. That's the powerful backing of Amex. Pre-sale tickets for future events subject to availability and varied by race.

Turns and conditions apply. Learn more at amex.ca. This episode is brought to you by Defender. With its 626 horsepower twin turbo V8 engine, The Defender Octa is taking on the Dakar rally. The ultimate off-road challenge. Learn more at landrover.ca. You can get protein at home or a protein latte at Tim's.

No powders, no blenders, no shakers. Starting at 17 grams per medium latte, Tim's new protein lattes, protein without all the work, at participating restaurants in Canada. Don Lebertard. Doesn't matter anywhere. We could do it in Buffalo or, boy, He said you can do it where?

Anywhere? Oh, whoa. Oh, that's crazy. That's crazy. That's crazy. He said he can do it anywhere. That's crazy, murder. Murder, tell him.

Stugats. I had no idea of me and had that in his locker. That might be his best. I'm not kidding. That's crazy, killer. It's two America's dead. You don't get it. This is the Dan Lebatar show.

The Stugats. Time now for Amin's weekend observations. It is time for him to share his game notes. No one in the media will tell you what happened better than my boy. I mean. Weekend observations is presented by Miller Light. And my eyebrows are singed. My hair is blown back.

And I smell a bit like burnt bacon. Because just like that, make no mistake, my Sundays are now cooked. Weekend observations will officially be on Mondays from now on. Unless they're not. Like next Monday. Tinty and Carl, we need to have a conversation. The Dolphins did something yesterday. today that the Giants

couldn't do in five years made Daniel Jones into a competent quarterback. Greg Cody. Stand strong. You double down. You don't let these guys suck you off the ledge. Don't change that season prediction.

He's so homerific. Like, he can't. Here's a problem. Greg, Greg, this is what I'll say to you. This is in your support. If anything happens from here on out that continues to be bad, you've already lost the crowd.

Everyone thinks you're already a homer. But if anything good happens, you get to be the guy who said, told you so, told you with just one game. You don't give up. Hold strong. Baltimore starts its season just like it ended last season. Choking. Jerry Jones needs to check if he still has the receipts.

For the Michael Parsons deal. Maybe you can get store credit. You ever do that, guys? If you get something like, ah, I made a mistake, you go back, and they're like, well, we can't give you your cash back. Well, your store credit. Why do people say, say, choke someone out with their bare hands? Would it be any more benign if you did it with gloves on?

No, okay. No, that's fair. Benign means safe. It's a good point. I'm sorry. No, I was just thinking about it. Give us it that, we weren't. It's not that the joke wasn't good.

You made me think, yes, we do it with the bare hands because the extra syllables make it sound like more of a threat. Is it because I might otherwise do it with like a rope or something? Or what if like a headlock? You can do one of those moves the mafia does where you're in the back seat of the car and you do it with a wire with a wire. That's a good move. I always wanted to do that.

What? When you see it, you're like, that seems like if you ever had to. You always wanted to murder somebody? No, I'm saying if you had to attack somebody, you're like, from behind, like, the... Like, you obviously know what I'm talking about. I know what you're talking about, but I didn't go to the next place of volunteering

that I want to do that to somebody. If I was ever going to attack somebody, this is how I probably want to do it. You were going to attack somebody to murder them. We definitely know what you're talking about. That's why we're confused that you're openly admitting you want to murder. It's weird. Who would you theoretically want to murder?

Yeah, when you've thought about it, who were you doing it to? First person it came to mind. Yeah, premeditate this, please. Not that it would ever happen. Just, you know, who might it be? Say it into the microphone. You have till the end of the segment to take something back, just so you know. You know, I'm going to use some judgment here and not answer this question.

Good idea. Chris Cody. You're clear now. If anyone gets murdered around you, no one's going to suspect you because you didn't say a name. Chris, listen to me. Double down. Take a bait. Come back with your top five ways you would murder someone.

That's how you do it. All right. I'm on it. Because that's how you win. You give in now. You've lost the terrorist. Jaden, Dan. Effortless.

How many people saw that DeAndre Hopkins touchdown and thought, game over? Winner the weekend. Me. I am people. Guilty. Good to see Gino Smith picking up right where he left off the last time I paid attention to him. Guys, a winner when I watch. For those who do not know, Amino Hassan, I believe, has the single greatest prediction in the history of this show, in the 20-year history of the show.

He got Gino Smith's stats almost exactly right the season that Gino Smith had that was a season better than any of us thought he would ever have. Almost exactly right. Touchdowns, interceptions, all of it. Yards. Yards crazy how close he was before the season. Just the history of this show, huh?

I've rarely heard predictions better than that one. There's no better agent for procrastination than a random Instagram reel. It's not from an account you follow Nobody sent it to you It just appeared And you started watching Procrastination

Instead of doing your work What did you see? I saw this whole thing about cricket This is a documentary I didn't watch the whole documentary It was just a clip from the documentary But like these The British dude in the documentary

Like at the time They were like oh we're going to make The West Indies team grovel He used those terms We're going to make them grovel. And the West Indies team, they didn't like that because there's a white guy telling mostly black and other colored people that they're going to make, they're going to grovel to the bridge dude. So they went out and whooped his ass. And I was so locked in.

I don't give a shit about cricket, but it was like, wow. And then I realized, oh, shit, I have to finish these weekend observations. What am I doing? My reels are a lot of boobs. That a boy. Travis Etienne. Can scoot. Do you guys say Travis Etienne or do you say Travis Etienne Jr?

No need for the junior. We know it's not his dad. Exactly. If your father isn't famous, I'm not including the junior. Similarly, if your son isn't famous, I'm not including the senior. Talking to you, Marcus Morris. We call Marcus Morris Senior. Why, is Junior coming up?

It's like three. Ridiculous. I don't know if any of you had the reaction, not to damper this at all. But when I heard Stingley Jr. to the medical tent over the weekend, like I had an immediate reflex on I don't like hearing Stingley's to a medical tent because I associate that name only with paralysis, even though his son is a great football player. Yeah, he is.

Way to damper the mood. Sorry. I knew Sitter was cooked in the U.S. Open final. When I saw Drake bet $300,000 on him. Aubrey Graham. The polar opposite of the Midas Times. Man, he's a terrible gambler. Does he ever win bets?

He's terrible. Like, why does he have these giant public bets that always lose? I'm going to start a new segment on Draft Kings where we just bet the opposite of Drake. It's just crazy, though. How much money has he lost? I understand he's wildly, wildly wealthy. But he loses giant bets all the time. And it can't be the, he can't be making only the ones that he's showing us.

well the ones he shows us is the ones he loses i've never seen him post one and then he won afterwards so maybe there's something to that maybe pablo tori can uncover that pablo tori uncovering an alleged massive salary cap circumvention story only for some people to be disappointed that pablo troy didn't uncover the epstein files tells you what kind of run Pablo Torre is on. PTFO. Steve Bomber. Day and the Clippers abided by the rules

because that's the right thing to do. I'll try that next time I've pulled over for speeding. Officer, I was doing the speed limit. Why? Well, that's the right thing to do. Never mind, you got the radar gun that got me doing 75. Dee bomber.

Investing 50 million into aspiration. who happened to compensate Kwai Leonard, $48 million. Coincidence. Allegedly. To be fair to Steve Balmer. 50 million to him is literally worth three cents to a regular person. That's right.

Puka Nakua deserves a second song. Yeti, get on that. My guy, 10-day Tony, saying the Giants have the best defensive line in the NFL. Pump your brakes. But also, I hope you're right. If you take Joe Missoula, made him wear glasses,

gave him a little more hair, and made him a lot less successful, get Mike McDaniel. This guy, he goes into the press conferences. He always says something weird. And then the team goes out there and lays a fart. Yeah, it's been a, yeah, it's been really bad. Dan, you don't get to be quirky in a collect.

if you're not winning. No, we agree to that, right? And certainly not if you're losing like that. Like Joe Missoula, hanging on by a threat. We're going to see this year how long the eclectic, quirky, I think of things differently bit goes when the Celtics aren't the best team in the conference. Mike McDaniel grew up with Dan Soder.

I didn't know that. You guys know that? Did you guys know that? That's a yes or no. Thank you. I do. No. You can't check out on me that hard, guys.

I'm sorry. You know what? I mean, I'm sorry. I was talking to Chris about Yeti's got a song about the dolphins that I wanted to play at the end of the segment. And so I wasn't listening to what you were saying. Please keep it moving. There's 17 people in that room. Streeter, that's a fine.

You weren't listening. Chris wasn't listening. Everybody else can't give you. I'm working on my top five ways I would kill someone. I'm conflicted because, yeah, we're in a room where Chris is actively Googling on a work computer. How best ways to murder someone? So it's like, am I now? I'm sorry I didn't participate keep it moving please thanks for not bringing attention to it

Chris Cody number five sword fight oh that's a good place you would have to win number four another four number four four slowly poison them over time I like that number three that was your way the choke with the wire in a car from behind number two cut their brakes oh and number one trick them into entering the lion's pit at the zoo Put some thought into this All right Excellent work

Pride of a lion I like number one Pride of a lot Another lion Pass this week at Zoo Miami Okay All right

Way to bring it down I didn't kill it Chris's friend did Maybe Chris did Lion's den Yeah Friend All right

Killed the lion Who saw that coming Go ahead I mean Angel Reese Suspended by The Chicago Sky For a half

For comments Detriments detrimental to the team. They're 10 and 31. Sounds like the team is detrimental to the team. Also, suspended for just a half. Either go full game or go home.

Cowards. It's the move whenever it's a good player. You do it for a half. Yes, but they're 10 and 31. That's right. They didn't want to give away another game. Jackson Darts should start. Russell Wilson. should retire.

Someone threw a green lifeless thing on the field of an NFL game. It's called the Jets. Oh, man, that just killed them. Yes, that's a good joke. Tor their hearts out. Where is the sex toy? Do we have video of the sex toy? Landing on the field.

There it is. Yeah, there it is. Confirmed. That right there is American football has returned. A referee just throwing a dildo 20 yards. I just like that it has to be green. Like, you're not doing it right if it's not green. Going forward, the confirm and sound, we need to hear the whole thing,

because when it starts and it doesn't end, it can be inappropriate. I feel bad for that official. He has to pick it up. It's embarrassing. The internet's forever, and now he's just got a dildo in his hand. He's wandering around. If I'm him, I'm like, can I get a paper towel? He's at the top of his job, and he can't, yeah, he needs something.

You get what I'm saying, because it goes. Cah! Yes. Is there anything he wouldn't grab? If he was like, oh, I can't. I'm not touching it. Close this out, I mean. It took not being a jet for Aaron Rogers to look like Aaron Rogers.

Serbia lost to Finland despite 33 points and eight rebounds by Yokic. I guess you could say Serbia's Eurobasket run is finished. You lost to Finland. Yeah, see, that's a good joke. Nice, nice. Yeah, that always helps when you have to point out that's a good joke. And the people laugh harder then. To get the people upset that I'm doing weekend observations.

I get it. We always miss the original. Because it was better. You ever gone to a bar and found out that your favorite bartender was replaced with a guy named Steve? I'm Steve. What can I get you? Top five things where the original was better. O-LI.

Jerry Garcia as the original lead singer. for the Grateful Dead. Number five, Chevy Chase as the original weekend update host. Number four, Janet Hubert, the original Aunt Viv. Number three,

Lewis Wilson as the original Batman. Very, very racist movie, that original Batman. You can watch it on Tube, I think. Number two, Backrub, the original name for Google. Put it on the poll, please. I'm not making that up.

At Levitard Show, did you know that back rub was the original name for Google? And the number one thing, where the original was better. The dinosaurs, the original dominant species is wiped out by climate change. They're better because they didn't cause the climate change. It just happened to them. I guess Archmanning, March Manning, had a red dot on San Jose State. Miami beat Bethune Cookman 45 to 3.

Georgia Tech beat Gardner Web 59 to 12. Florida State beat East Texas A&M, 77 to 3. Alabama beat Louisiana, Monroe, 77 and nothing. And Oregon beat Oklahoma State 69 to 3. One of these things is not like the other. LeBron James demolished his $37 million mansion so he can build his dream home. LeBron James living in a $37 million mansion that isn't his dream home is proof that everyone is miserable. We're all in our own personal hell, Dano.

Peking of hell. Art Bryles. Those are the weekends. You ran out of music twice. Thank you, Amin. Good talking to you. I work hard. Now is a good time to remember where tequila's story truly began.

In 1795, Cuervo invented tequila. Quervo. What are you doing here? Quervo. Anytime someone says Cuervo, I show up. Well, I do know that to be true, but even during an ad reads, like... Quervo. I think you could lay out, especially from one of our great partners.

Sweet, delicious quervo. Since then, Cuervo is stayed true to its roots. The same family, the same land, the same passion. Quervo. So, enjoy the tequila that started it. all. Quervo. Quervo. The tequila. That invented tequila. Broximo.com. Please drink responsibly.

Cuervo.