The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz - Hour 2: Roncula Returns (feat. Ron Magill)

Episode Date: September 16, 2025

"Chauncey Swallows, am I right?" We're talkin' dog farts and cat farts with Ron Magill, as well as La Cucaracha, hanging up dead vultures, and Billy potentially killing birds. He also details the......we'll call it "entertaining"...party where Roncula will make his return. Plus, Tony has a Top 5 Most Embarrassing Things To Happen To You In Public, AND DAN WAS ARRESTED?!!?!?!??!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!??!?!? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Starting point is 00:01:13 All right, so Ron McGill, of course, joins us here. And hey, Ron, how you doing? First of all, you doing all right? I'm doing great. How are you? Doing good. So, all right, help me out here. On my flight this weekend, all right, you know, for college football, I fly around with ESPN
Starting point is 00:01:28 radio and there was a service dog that was sitting in my row on the flight I got no problem with the dogs flying I like dogs and the dog was farting though throughout the flight which which which which once I found out that it was the dog that was farting because the owner was like super apologetic but once I found out it was the dog and not a human farting I was okay with it the smell didn't bother me as much but my question is like is that common for a dog when they're like was a dog nervous and that's why he was farting on the flight? light? It could have been. How are you 100% sure it was the dog? That's what we said, Ron. It sounds like it's the owner. That's a great cop out when the owner's going, oh, geez, I've got to
Starting point is 00:02:07 let one go here. But I'm a dog. That's why I bring the dog with me because I'm a gas producing machine, but I can always blame it on the dog. There you go. I've done that. You know, I see because I fly a lot, I see these service dogs all the time. But I feel like, like Ron, when someone's on the flight with a Shih Tzu that's wearing the service dog vest, like, that's not a service dog, right? Isn't it only like certain breeds are service dogs? Yes and no. I mean, the bottom line is a service dog can be designated as an animal that is necessary to maintain the patients or whatever you're the owner's, you know, state of mind. It's a psychologically necessity. Now, having said that, I think there are a lot of people
Starting point is 00:02:50 that abuse that opportunity. I know for a fact, you know, that there are some, you know, some of these psychologists, you know, write them a check, they'll write you a note. And, you know, they do that for a couple of reasons. First of all, they don't want to put their dog in the belly of the plane. I can understand that. And second of all, they don't want to pay that extra money to put the dog in the belly of the plane. So that becomes an issue. And I think that's going to come to a head sometime in the future. Again, these service dogs and the right situation are very important. They play a very important role. But then you've got those people who are abusers and just will say anything just to get the fake patch you can get on the internet and say,
Starting point is 00:03:26 is my service dog. Now, fortunately, airlines are starting to require letters from doctors, psychologists, and such. But then on the flip side, you got some of these doctors and psychologists say, oh, yeah, you look nervous. Okay, here's a dog. Ron, I want to sit with dogs for just a second, and I've been meaning to ask you this for a long time. My dog jumping, Charlie, goes in the backyard to do his business. Okay, it's a male dog, because I know that name can be either. Half the time, he lifts his leg to pee, like most male dogs do. And about half the time, he squats on all fours and pees like most female dogs do. Is that unusual that a dog might pee both ways?
Starting point is 00:04:00 No, it's not unusual, especially if the dog is specifically trying to. Remember, they use their urine as a marker, as a territorial marker. If he wants to hit something that's directly below him on the ground, there's no need for him to lift his leg, that's what he's going to do. If he's trying to get a fence post or he's trying to get along a fence line or a tree or, you know, a trunk or something like that, he'll lift his leg. For aiming purposes. It's an aiming purpose.
Starting point is 00:04:21 It's an aiming purpose that a lot of the dogs do it for. And in the wild, do males tend to lift their legs and females not like pet dogs? Or is that different in the wild with like lions or other? It's the same. It's the same. You know, you look at painted dogs. You look at wolves. The males, again, most females, when they urinate, unless they're in cycle, they urinate a great volume all at once and they're done.
Starting point is 00:04:47 Males will usually urinate and squirts and, you know, small spurts because they're trying to mark the They got to make sure they've always got a calling card in the hutch, so to speak. Ron, I have two male dogs, neither them pee with their leg up. That's weird, right? Not necessarily. I had a dog that did the same thing. We used to make fun of them that way, you know? Whatever.
Starting point is 00:05:08 Wow, I thought it was weird. I think it's weird. Ron, do cats fart? All animals, mammals will pass gaps. I don't see cats fart a lot. Greg actually told us Ron that he stopped farting. Gave it up. I did give it up.
Starting point is 00:05:23 it up. That and cigars. Right. I don't like to brag. Believe me. Stopping farting is nothing to brag about. Trust me. Your stomach must be in shambles.
Starting point is 00:05:35 If you hold a fart in, doesn't that, like, kind of hurt your stomach? You're never like, damn, I wish I didn't give up farting. I could really use one right now? No, I miss cigars more than I miss farting. Wow. I don't know how you give that up. You know, I found as a younger guy, I've never really had the urge to do that. But as I've gotten older, yeah, it's some of the one of those things that,
Starting point is 00:05:53 Every now and then you've got to let one go. Small pleasures, right? It's tough. You got to work on it, man. You got to work on it. I don't know. I think that's keeping some nauseous gases in your system that's going to make you either burp something nasty or something. It's going to come out somewhere, brother.
Starting point is 00:06:05 And I don't want to. Is that why you say Brad when you burp? You know what? It could be. I never thought of that. That's a thing, Zaz. That's a good point. Ron, in the rainy season now in Miami where it's kind of raining every single day,
Starting point is 00:06:16 critters make their way into our houses. Is that a fair thing to say? Absolutely. It calls all the time. especially things like these little ringneck snakes. You know, a small snake that's common throughout South Florida. I've got people calling it. I thought it was a warrior, but it's a state.
Starting point is 00:06:31 Ring necks are notorious for that because they're normally subterranean. They'll go under the ground quite a bit. They're feeding on things like worms and insects. But when they get flooded out, everything is looking for higher land. And those guys can kind of make their way under doorstops and things like that. That's what they end up in people's houses. So I got a lot of. My issue is this.
Starting point is 00:06:50 There's been, in this house that I'm renting, there's been a lot of cockroach. that started fighting their way into my house. And the last, like, two weeks, we've killed a very high amount of cockroaches, right? What I thought of, and I wanted to ask you the question, if I were to place cockroach carcasses throughout specific areas of the house, why would that not let other cockroaches know, hey, wait a second, we're not welcome here. Why do you have a hard time saying cockroach? Because it's, I don't know.
Starting point is 00:07:21 Look, who got atcha? Thank you. There you go, roaches. There you go, garages. Why does that not work? Because they're not that necessarily intelligent of a being to make that kind of synopsis. They might look at it like, okay, that's all right. There's more food for me now.
Starting point is 00:07:36 That's what I want to, I want you to, what do you imagine a cockroach thinks when he sees a dead cockroach? He's like, oh, wow. I don't think cockroaches think that much. I think that's where we have. He's like, oh, he's taking a nap. That's an odd spot for a nap. Now, that, you know, you might be making fun of this. tactic but that tactic actually works for other things like vultures they use vultures a dead
Starting point is 00:07:57 vulture as an effigy they'll hang a dead vulture in a place where vultures will come you know and cause all kinds of problems and the vultures stay away when they see the dead vulture they're going so they know they know yeah animals like a vulture will pick that up and that is a common practice when vultures create a problem in any given area they'll hang an effigy now you have to get a permit to do it but you can get the permit and hang the dead vulture and you'd be supposed to surprise how it keeps the other vultures away. Who do you call to do that? Like, hey, like, I'm looking for a dead vulture permit.
Starting point is 00:08:28 Fish and Wildlife and the United States Department of Agriculture. Okay. Wow. Ron, I think we've talked about this before, but I just want to double check. Pepper does not negatively impact birds, correct? It depends on the bird. Oh, no. What birds are negatively impacted by pepper?
Starting point is 00:08:45 Because I was reading, I've told you before that I have a little bird feeder, and what ended up happening is that a rat got attracted. to the bird food and came and started eating the bird food and the bird feeder and then we had to explain to my daughters that's not a bird in your bird feeder that's a rat and we don't want that there and then i googled and it said just put some pepper and the rats will not like the smell or taste of the pepper and they won't go there anymore but it doesn't affect the birds so the birds will continue to eat there but now you're kind of making me second guess i'm not sure i think there's there there might be some pulmonary issues with some birds and pepper i'm not
Starting point is 00:09:17 sure um boy i don't want to say because i'm not sure okay so i'm just going to I'm going to keep business as usual and trust Google AI on this one. I wouldn't trust Google and everything, guys. That's a big mistake that I think we make is we trust everything we see on the internet. Ron, I want you to walk us through what I'm looking at here. Now, I believe this is a crab riding a jellyfish. If you could do a little play-by-play for us here. How common is this?
Starting point is 00:09:41 That's the first time I've ever seen that. Pretty cool. Again, you know, I got to tell you something, guys. The way AI is today, I don't know. Yeah, I don't know what to believe anymore because it's so good. It's so good. Lewis just said in my ear, this is not AI. Oh, well, Lewis said it, so.
Starting point is 00:09:57 Okay. I've never seen that before, so it's obviously very unique. Pretty cool shot. Ron, I have a pitch for you based on that video that we just saw in your reluctance to trust the internet. What if we go into business, all of us here, everyone in this room, no one else is allowed in, just all of us together. And we open the first AI zoo. And you could literally have anything that you want in the AI zoo, any animal, any animal, any hybrid anything you want they can do whatever you want you in yeah i'll have some fun with that
Starting point is 00:10:27 all right what if we have some ligers they're ai ligers so i know that you don't like ligars in general but if they're fake ligars do you like that let's let's put let's let's put you know tasmanian tigers in there too let's put some extinct animals in there we can have some fun with this ron what's the difference between jellyfish and manna war they're all the same it's the same type of it's a uh invertebrates whatever i'm not this marine expert but but they're all in the same grouping of animals. Jellyfish and Mano War. Mano War is a type of jellyfish.
Starting point is 00:10:58 Ron, have you discussed Kwame passing away? I have not. I have not. That obviously interests us because we collaborated on the pride of a lion. And Kwame was mentioned in that book, and he just passed away. And now that was... Did you just use death to plug your book? That was Zoo Miami's last lion.
Starting point is 00:11:17 And I know that hit you pretty hard. When are you going to get another lion? because I assume you want one badly. Oh, yeah, no, they're bringing in, supposedly they've got two males lined up, and it's just a matter of when they can get them here. It's, you know, we have to go by the recommendation of what's called the SSP. It's called the Species Survival Plan, which is kind of a computer dating service, so to speak, managed by the Association of Zoos and Aquarium.
Starting point is 00:11:40 So you have a stud bookkeeper who looks and sees, okay, what animals can go where? They tell us, and I think they've pretty much designated two males, two young males, to come this way. I'm hoping they're going to be here within the next one to two months. That's Kwampi right there. That's a photograph I took of Kwame. That's a beautiful lion. And he passed away naturally, right? He was like 18, right?
Starting point is 00:11:59 He was 18. 18. Well, actually, he passed away the day before his 18th birthday. Oh, wow. And what lions, like lionesses do you currently have and what would, oh, there's no lions, period. No lions. There's no lions. I thought maybe you had a couple and you had to kind of figure out how to.
Starting point is 00:12:14 No, the hope is once we bring those two males in here, they'll also designate some females to bring in. And hopefully we can get another prize. established. Hell yeah. Ron, got another video here for you. So this is going to be, there's an elk and it's, you know, doing its thing in the forest. Here, let's check it out. That's a deer, it's not an elk, but that's okay.
Starting point is 00:12:34 Either way. You're on a roll today, says. Oh, yeah, that's an alarm call. That's an alarm call. He seems to be doing like a triple-H blowing water out of his nose. No, it's just a breath. It's a very cold morning. Is it coming out of his ears?
Starting point is 00:12:46 No, it's coming out of his nostrils. out of his nostrils, he's alarm calling, and you see as he's breathing, that's just this. And when he blows out that hot air, you get that, that beautiful visual, that smoke coming out of his nose. That scares. So that was intimidation. That's intimidation. And again, it's an alarm call. And usually they accompany that with a, they'll stomp their feet, too. They'll hit their ground with their feet, and they'll, they'll, sometimes they even bark. They make a they bark when they do that, too. Now, this last video will just get Ron Mad, which we like to do around here. Here's some guy seemingly feeding an alligator being really reckless.
Starting point is 00:13:19 This is something I assume we do not want to do. Oh, yeah. Here we go. There we go. It's against the law, first of all. It's not something we don't want to do. It's something that's against the law because what you're doing is that alligator now is associating people with food and somebody's going to come there one day and not have a piece
Starting point is 00:13:34 of bread or whatever crap that guy's thrown in the alligator's mouth. And the alligator is going to bite the person thinking, oh, I thought it was bread. And not thinking I was going to eat the person or anything, but he's been conditioned now to come up to people this way. This guy is an idiot. That's so ridiculous. I hope he falls in. Ron. All right, so you don't like it.
Starting point is 00:13:55 You got that idea? So it makes you mad, Ron. So it's not just, it's not because like the food or anything is bad for the alligator. It's because it's a danger to people. Exactly. It makes me mad because one day that alligator may have a conflict with a person who's not the idiot leaning over the boat feeding and something, bite the person. And what happens?
Starting point is 00:14:12 Fish and Wallace got to go round up this alligator and kill it because it did something that was basically trained by another idiot. I mean, in fairness, we did take the alligators land. You know, Billy, sometimes, just sometimes. I love the look, Billy. That's a good look. Are the alliators not there first? I mean, we did. All right.
Starting point is 00:14:37 Ron, it's almost Roncula season, huh? Rockula's coming, guys. Let me tell you, that's a party. That is a party. I thought you retired him. I did retire them, but they gave me an offer. I can't refuse. I'm bringing them back
Starting point is 00:14:49 and that party for no other reason guys that party is decadence exponential okay you guys let me tell you it's 21 and older
Starting point is 00:14:59 and you know people get freaky when they go in the costume they think they can be someone else and sometimes you see the real person and I'm telling you we had a guy come one year wrapped in saran wrap that was it just wrapped in saran wrap
Starting point is 00:15:12 yeah yeah yeah yeah and we got we got the women who come who just sometimes things that, you know, it's really, it's a wild time at the zoo. I like the party. The parties, it's, and since I don't drink, it's some of the best people watching on the planet.
Starting point is 00:15:26 Ron, great job as always. Appreciate you. All right, guys. Have a great week. Thursday night, football is on, and it's only on Prime Video. This week, an AFC rivalry in nights as the Miami Dolphins battle the Buffalo Bills in a heated division showdown in the Empire State. Coverage begins at 7 p.m. Eastern with football's best party.
Starting point is 00:15:48 TNF Tonight, presented by Verizon. Not a prime member, not a problem. Simply sign up for a 30-day free trial. It's the Dolphins and the Bills. Thursday at 7 p.m. Eastern only on Prime video. Restrictions apply. See amazon.com slash Amazon Prime for details. Don Lebertard. The elephant went into a 7-Eleven and bought a pack of cigarettes.
Starting point is 00:16:10 But my question to Ron is this. That joke didn't really land the way you wanted it to, didn't it? We all just stared at you. This is the Dan Levitar show with the Stugats. This show is sponsored by Liquid Ivy. Don't let the grind, drain you ditch the glitch with zero sugar and zero crash from Liquid Ivy. Tear, poor, live more. Go to Liquid Ivy.com and get 20% off your order with Code Dan.
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Starting point is 00:17:06 delicious. I keep a few packets wherever I go. Jim, work in the car just in case. Keep hydrated. Live. Hydrated. That's the most important thing. Being hydrated.
Starting point is 00:17:14 in. Sean McVeigh said earlier, and we were making fun of it, he segued seamlessly from that guy has a broken clavicle to what a stop on third down. And I felt like Greg Cody honored him by saying, hey, Ron, your lion, one of the favorites, 18-year relationship died. When's the next one? Are you getting another one? Like, you didn't ask him a single thing about his feelings about the star of pride of a lion dying. You just went to when and how are you going to replace him? wanted to plug the book uh well uh a minor correction uh the part of a lion is about uh the son of a lion named quasi they have similar names quasi is what the pride of a lion is about quami was um the father and and it was the last animal at the zoo he was 18 years old so they
Starting point is 00:18:02 euthanized him because he was suffering and they expected the loss so again though his feelings would i think his feelings about a relationship with an animal at the zoo that he's had for 20 years, you could have asked him about his feelings before just saying, when's the next one? How are we replacing him? You didn't ask him a single feeling that he had. Yeah, no, I didn't. I wrote the book on that, so I didn't feel the need to ask him. But I will say this, Zoo Miami is about to get two new young male lions.
Starting point is 00:18:31 So that's exciting because it means they're going to bring in a female. They're going to start a whole new pride. They're going to be going to be good. Damn right they are. It's going to be fun. She is aggressive. I mean, we also are assuming Greg didn't reach. out when he heard the news privately to Ron, and they didn't, you know, have maybe a sit down
Starting point is 00:18:47 where they talked about this because the zoo now has lost two lines in the past couple of months, which is why presently there are no lions there. In fact, when you walk by where the lions were, it's very sad. They took down the sign that says here's where the lions are and all that stuff. It just says, you know, no one's here right now. And it's, you know, you could tell a little overrun by grass. It's a sad situation. Yeah, I mean, you ain't lying. Hell yeah. But, you know, Ron and I may have had like an emotional sit down or I may have texted them real quickly. Tony, that is a very embarrassing stain
Starting point is 00:19:20 that you walked in here with today. What happened? Look, I mean, I got a stain right here. You see it? Crochet region. Yeah, so here's the issue. Sometimes when you're washing clothes and you put stuff together
Starting point is 00:19:34 and you're using the detergent, sometimes like detergent stain stuff, which I don't understand why that happens if I'm putting it in there so you can clean other stains. Why do you appear with another stain after it's clean? So, late night, early morning with the baby. Baby woke up at 1 o'clock in the morning, then screaming her face off, okay?
Starting point is 00:19:50 She's got four teeth popping out at the same time. So your baby-babied. Baby-babied, but she usually babies at like eight or nine. When you're gone. At like five in the morning, right? So, like, that's when she babies. The problem is when you baby at 1.30 in the morning, Bobby's got to pick her up. Bobby's got to take her to the nursery.
Starting point is 00:20:06 Bobby's got to rock her. 2.40, all of a sudden, she finally falls asleep. I bring her back down. I got to sleep for a couple more hours. hours. So when I wake up, tired, right? I just go to my drawer. I kind of pick up the first couple things. This shirt, these shorts are these, you know, joggers. And I get on the train, not thinking about a thing. And I see kind of people give me a couple weird looks. And I'm like, okay, maybe the shirt. They don't like the shirt. Okay. Sponsored by the haters. Maybe they're haters. Right. Exactly. I'm like, okay, thank you for sponsoring. So I sit down and I look at my, at my crotch, because obviously I'm sitting down in the seat. Let me see that thing. So this happened from you washing? Yeah, like the detergent. Why do you wash your pants with semen? Let me get a look at this. Whoa! It creates the implication, Dan, that there was a massive situation.
Starting point is 00:20:51 A bad look, as Greg Cody likes to say. Prior to me getting onto the train with a lot of people. Do you see it, Chris? Well, that brings us seamlessly to top five embarrassing things to do in public, which I'm sure that Tony would have any point. This actually isn't on the list, funny enough. Well, it's an O'LI. Looks like something that would happen at the Roncular Party.
Starting point is 00:21:09 Chansy Swallows, you know what I mean? I thought he was going to retire. that, Dan. Did you have intel that he was unretiring, Roncula? I didn't know. That was broken news on this show. I was not aware. I was not aware that Roncula was making. The lecherous Dracula character that Ron brings out every Halloween,
Starting point is 00:21:23 I was not aware that that was being unretired. I've got it every other week. What do you have there for top five? Is it OLLI or just straight top five? Yeah, there is two OLIs. All right, these are top five embarrassing things. Embarrassing things to happen in public with other people
Starting point is 00:21:39 watching you. All right. OLLI. O-A-L-I, getting umbrella flipped on you in the middle of the rain. You know, when there's wind and the umbrella gets flipped up and you're like, whoa, it's so stupid. You're like, come on, I'm getting wet here. Like that's stupid idiot. People are driving by in their car. You're in the rain, and they're laughing at you because the umbrella's flipped up.
Starting point is 00:21:54 Correct, yes. Stupid. Dan, I think this one may hit home a little bit. O-A-N-N-N-2. Asking your barber to trim your eyebrows. Whoa, why would that hit home for me? I'm just saying, an eyebrow guy. I also have thicker eyebrows and it's like you're at the barbershop and it's like
Starting point is 00:22:12 hey you did my hair great everything's looking good by the way can you trim my eyebrows it's like oh god you got a whisper it out of the side of your mouth people turn around like what what do you say you got an out of control eyebrows problem the dude's waiting for the chair they're like oh get out of you trim as what number five number five being thrown in a public transportation vehicle on a bus or a train when you're standing there and they break suddenly then you get kind of flung, you can't get the respect of other people on the train like that. You got to, I make sure whenever I'm in the Atlanta airport, because they got like the people moving there, I make sure I'm, I'm positioned.
Starting point is 00:22:48 Planted. I'm ready for my feet. I start doing the math. I'm like, which way are we going? I got a good leverage. Which way I'm on a fall? You got to go a good base on that. Some people have too narrow of a base and I get thrown.
Starting point is 00:22:58 Everybody knows that about me. I go good base. Good base. Exactly right. So getting thrown by a public transport vehicle with other people watching, very embarrassing. Are we on number four or five? That was number five. Number four.
Starting point is 00:23:10 It's your list. Why would I know what we're on instead of you? Because you keep track of those things. I like that. All right. Number four, running towards a closing door. Train elevator, door of any kind. They're like, wait, wait, hold on.
Starting point is 00:23:24 And the door closed and you're like, oh. And then people behind you're like, I didn't run. Why did you run? I never feel like a better person than when someone's coming for the elevator. I got you. And I put my hand in front. I don't ever do that. I see you.
Starting point is 00:23:37 What? And I stop the door for me. I don't ever do that. I actually go toward the buttons where they can't see me and I press the door closed. Oh, no. Don't get me wrong. I don't want more people in the, I want to be by myself. No, I'm with it.
Starting point is 00:23:47 The ultimate is walking in and not making eye contact with anyone. But if you make eye contact, I will do you. No, no, they can't see me. I go, I press door closed. How about the fake arm where you don't get it just far enough because you're a little too far? I've done that. I don't do. I'm not trying to impress anybody.
Starting point is 00:24:01 I'm trying to have this elevator myself. But Zaz, you're a rising star in sports media. That's right. I'm trying to rise in that elevator alone. I am with Zaz, though. Like, if you do get in that elevator alone, you hit closed door right away. Yep.
Starting point is 00:24:12 Oh, yeah, that's for sure. Put it on the poll at Levitard show. As the door closes on the elevator, do you put a handout to help the person who's approaching? Do you pretend to put a handout with the intention of allowing the door to close? Or never look up. To close, or do you just let the door close? My elevator.
Starting point is 00:24:30 It's a great question. Do we have any runners here to doors of elevators or any other kind? Number three, I have had the elevator. in my building has been down for six weeks. I have to go eight floors. Every time I walk the dog, I am getting worn out. Expensive villain, too.
Starting point is 00:24:47 That's going on with the HOA money there. Yeah, seriously. Number two, greeting someone who's greeting someone behind you, not you. I think you skipped number three. I don't know who's keeping track you or me, but I think you skipped number three. Okay, too, you're keeping track. Number three, all right, number three, greeting somebody who's greeting you, but they're greeting somebody behind you.
Starting point is 00:25:04 That's the worst. That's the worst. That would be number two, yeah. That was two and three. Number two, tripping on stairs. In public, embarrassing. I know. You're going up the stairs. And then you always look behind you like, what tripped me?
Starting point is 00:25:18 Number two, screwing up your own top five list. Number one. Number one, tying your shoes in public, embarrassing. I didn't tie my shoes right the first time. I got to tie them again now. I'm stopping everybody who's walking on the sidewalk so I can tie my shoe. Grow up. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:25:35 Grow up. Don't tie your shoes in public. I don't want to see anybody ever tie their shoe in public. What if it gets on time, though? Then you walk until you sit down somewhere else. Do not tie your shoe in public is very embarrassing. It's a strange number one. Yeah, I disagree with that.
Starting point is 00:25:46 I enjoy tying my shoe in public because it tells other people, look at that. That guy knows that. I have a nominee. I got arrested for that. It's the only time I've been arrested. You want people to tie their shoes in public, Dan Lebitard. Okay. I don't think that happened.
Starting point is 00:25:59 It did happen. You did not get arrested for tying your shoes. It did happen. This is what happened. It's a true story. It's the only time I've been arrested. It's this and sarcasm. It's a true story.
Starting point is 00:26:08 So two times you've been arrested. No, it's the one time. The one time had some sarcasm in it while I was tying my shoe and I got arrested for it. He said, you got to do bunnieres and you loop swoop and pulled it and he's like, not on my watch, straight to the clink. Cops don't like sarcasm. My friends were getting kicked out of a Johnny Rockett as I was arriving. As they were being kicked out, I noticed that my shoe was untied. I did not take Tony's advice.
Starting point is 00:26:35 stopped, bent down, and tied my shoe. The police officer thought I was being defiant and kicked me in the back. And I got up and congratulated him for being the person in crime-ridden Miami who protects the condiments at Johnny Rockets. And that's where I got arrested. And then he waved, he waved, yeah, more sarcasm. I'm in the back seat. They're very tight in the back seat. I got the plastic cuffs on me. And he's showing me the police report, holding it up against the window, saying, what about now, smart guy? How smart are you now? And I'm like, you don't spell John Doe with a W. He had spelled it
Starting point is 00:27:07 John Dow as he was because I wouldn't give him my name. It's a true story but I got arrested for tying your shoes. For tying my shoes. Don't do it in public my nominee would be when somebody's walking by you with a backpack on and their backpacks open. What a loser. I do that all the time. And you're
Starting point is 00:27:23 right behind them you could say hey your backpack's open but you don't. Tripping on the stairs is bad though I eat shit tripping on the stairs and it was an escalator too Is this going up or down? It was going up, and I was trying to catch the train. That's more embarrassing. I caught my own couple of things here on the list,
Starting point is 00:27:38 so I was running up the escalator, trying to catch the train, and then I tripped on one of the stair things, fell on the escalator, had the grates of the escalators on my fingers, my phone flew out of my bag, my headphones ripped off. I'm wearing the headphones with nothing plugged in. I'm riding up the escalator, and then my hands are all bruised. I finally get on the train, and I'm like, damn, everybody saw me trip. What an embarrassing place.
Starting point is 00:28:02 Tripping going down? dangerous, tripping going up. I find that to be a shocking number one from you. Tying your shoes in public as the most embarrassing things someone can do. I've never saw someone doing that and been like, loser. You don't get it. Tony's super cool. No, you don't get it, Billy.
Starting point is 00:28:18 Don Lebatard. I want to address Tony and all men who would wear that shirt in public. Stugats. Don't do it. This is the Dan Lebatar show with the Stugats. When you mention losers and I see what Baker Mayfield is doing after almost being swallowed by two organizations that are losers, I want to ask you guys if you think when we do all this analysis of football, we're analyzing how good are the quarterbacks, we're analyzing everyone in sports and their value. When I tell you that this is the list, okay, what two teams combined gave up to decide they wanted a quarterback better than Baker Mayfield. 2022, fourth round pick, 23 first round pick, 23, first round pick, 23, third round pick, 24 first round pick, 24, fourth round pick, wide receiver, DJ Moore,
Starting point is 00:29:26 2023 first round pick, 2023 second round pick, 224 first round pick, 2025 second round pick and 230 million in fully guaranteed money for Deshawn Watson. So total, five first, two seconds, one third, two fourths,
Starting point is 00:29:43 DJ Moore and 230 million guaranteed for the privilege of having Deshawn Watson and Bryce Young play quarterback over Baker Mayfield. Think about what's happening there. Think about how shitty we are at value assessment at that position. He was the first round pick, top of the draft, skill set, even though he's smaller, because
Starting point is 00:30:05 quarterbacks usually aren't that size. Quarterbacks who are successful in that league, very rarely that size, but he has become one of the great values at quarterback and a couple of years ago was available, one year, $6 million. How was any of that possible? Explain it to me, because the bucks have now won the division, four straight times. He's the only quarterback we've seen at the end of games
Starting point is 00:30:29 both games this season. Right at the end he's winning it. It's very much him. He's doing it and you kind of feel and know he's going to do it because now he's got the confidence in the swagger that he could not have in Cleveland. Now it's been earned. He was very close
Starting point is 00:30:45 Greg. Very close. This isn't quite Kurt Warner going from grocery store bag boy to MVP of the league, but he was very close to be relegated a backup who would not be given another chance and now Tampa has a team that was super limited last night super limited that game most teams in the league lose that game on the road with those injuries and those matchup problems like there's there's just not many teams
Starting point is 00:31:13 or quarterbacks in the league who win that game given what the issues were last night it's incredible the the way he's reworked his entire image because two three years ago we're thinking Right now, I think he had a long future in the league wearing a ball cap and carrying a clipboard as a backup. Now, he's one of the clutch guys in the league. Baker Mayfield, you think of a clutch guy who can win in the fourth quarter. And that's incredible. But it goes back to Tom Brady in the seventh round in terms of the NFL not being able to calculate quarterbacking accurate. But how many of those guys are there, says?
Starting point is 00:31:46 Who are the guys right now in the league that you look at and say that quarterback is someone to be feared late in clutch situations? I just don't think, because Lamar Jackson isn't that guy. I'm sorry, it's the one. There are certain guys in the league, okay, and I don't say this as indictment. I'd be afraid of burrow, you know, if he's playing. I'd be afraid of burrow. That's correct. But there aren't that many.
Starting point is 00:32:09 There are a handful, though, that the conditions for them on the team make them have these enormous leads because they can be front runners. They're fine if they're ahead. But at the end of the game, I fear, Lamar Jackson, obviously, because of the toolbox, but Lamar Jackson's not one of these quarterbacks that you've seen drive down the field. In fact, he did it against Buffalo in the playoffs last year, and then Mark Andrews dropped the ball at the goal line, but he's not one of those guys that has, you tell me if I have
Starting point is 00:32:39 this wrong because I'm doing it from memory. And surely he has to have game-winning drives, but I think Baker Mayfield has two this season that I remember more than any one Lamar Jackson, or for that matter, Josh Allen has where you're just like at the end of a game, that guy is going to drive down the field and I know he's going to drive down the field. Josh Allen had it against Kansas City and then Mahomes took it back with 13 seconds left in a game. We're taking Mahomes out of this conversation.
Starting point is 00:33:06 I'm taking Mahomes out of the conversation, but more largely what I'm saying is, are there really more quarterbacks in the league that you think are going to choke late than there are quarterbacks in the league that you think are going to be great? great late, that you fear being great late? Definitely. Because I think Baker Mayfield has now entered that conversation. I'm asking you with who else. I start with Josh Allen because he can beat you with his arm, obviously.
Starting point is 00:33:34 But when he's running the ball, I'm confident because he's a linebacker-sized guy who can truck over the other linebacker trying to tackle him. You know, he can beat you any way. And I think Josh Allen right now is state-of-the-art taken over from the homes, at least in Burley. But he's just great. I'm talking about Great Late. I'm talking about the feared aura. He's just simply a great quarterback, but I don't think of him.
Starting point is 00:33:57 Montana did this. You know what I'm talking about. These guys at the end of games, Brady was the master, obviously. Leave him any time and you're done. When you talk about Josh Allen, I talked about this play earlier this week. I want to talk about it again because it was a truly amazing play that simply got lost Sunday because it was an uninteresting game. Sauce Gardner, the most expensive player,
Starting point is 00:34:20 on the Jets defense, has a blind side blitz, no block running fast as he can, right at the quarterback's back, has him squared up, hits him in the back, but Josh Allen notices at the last second that he's coming, spins out of it, but Sauce Gardner couldn't tackle someone that large. It was like trying, it was like watching a smaller animal, try and defeat a larger animal that it cannot defeat because it's too big. A cornerback who tackles, because Sauce does tackle, had him lined up, Zaz, and the athleticism and strength made it so that Sauce Gardner was crumpled on the ground. Coach is called the perfect defensive call. Had Josh Allen dead to rights, doesn't matter who your coaching, design, or anything is. It's a blindside
Starting point is 00:35:09 blitz. You saw on the game last night, it was won by the running backs block on a blitzing cornerback because Baker Mayfield on 4th and 10 ran for 15 yards when he should have been tackled. But that play is what Josh Allen does that makes him the MVP of the league. Everything else could be called in a way where Buffalo is at a disadvantage and the other team has all the coaching advantages and has gotten to the quarterback the correct way. Again, this is Sauce Gardner untouched, had him lined up and the athleticism awareness and strength made it. so that a professional football player looked like he can't hit
Starting point is 00:35:48 because he was hitting Josh Allen in the back. There's maybe three guys in the league right now, 80 yards to go, two minutes left, need a touchdown, you feel like they're going to do it. I think it's Allen, I think it's Burrow, and maybe Mayfield too. But there are other guys in the league who are still in the league,
Starting point is 00:36:03 who are still starting quarter of the league who used to be those guys. Like Russell Wilson used to be one of those guys. Aaron Rogers used to be one of those guys. I guess Patrick Mahomes used to be one of those guys when he gets Rashi Rice back. He'll probably be that guy again. Dak Prescott has the same as Mahomes.
Starting point is 00:36:21 They're very close. Josh Allen also has a lot. To Dan's point, Baker does have more than Lamar Jackson. Well, the other thing that Baker Mayfield has, because I'm telling you that the assessment of Baker Mayfield has been wrong because we've had a sample size that has teams rejecting him. Do you know who the best third down quarterback in the league was last year? The Bucks were the best team in the league.
Starting point is 00:36:43 The Bucks were the best team in the league on third down. And that's something I associate with. When Tua got here and they started throwing the ball around, I was like, finally, the Dolphins got one of those. Third and ten doesn't matter. There aren't many of them. Like it was Aaron Rogers, it was Josh Allen. I don't know if it's Lamar Jackson. Third and ten doesn't matter.
Starting point is 00:37:00 And that lasted a season for the Dolphins. And Lamar Jackson point, like you asked, when was the last time you remember a Lamar Jackson comeback drive? Could it be there not down a lot? A, but B, it was game one last season when. Isaiah likely wore a 14 instead of a 13, and on that two-point conversion, they dropped it, but he drove him down the field, and they scored to basically almost win the game. I agree with you on Baker and his ability to come up clutch. It's obvious the last two games, but at the same time, like, you talk about both of these things.
Starting point is 00:37:29 You've got to be trailing a lot to have these comebacks, and your play during those games impact that. And when you talk about third down, last year they added a dynamic pass-catching running back in Bucky Irving, who can get you seven yards, no matter. what, and they have two big physical receivers last year, and Mike Evans and Chris Godwin. So the skill players do help when it comes to stuff like that. He didn't have Godwin last night. Their running game was a good player, though. I'm just saying last year. And you can just throw it over to where Mike Evans is a lot of times. And usually he doesn't get played the way the Texans were playing him where it's just like, we're going to put one guy. We're going to put stingly
Starting point is 00:38:05 on him and that's it. We don't have to worry about anything else. That's one of the reasons I was stunned Houston didn't win that game. You've got that pass rush. You've got their tackles out, and furthermore, Houston's got a way to stop Mike Evans, which I thought was going to be the only way that the Bucks would win last year. You know about that, Mecobuca? Now is a good time to remember where tequila's story truly began. In 1795, Cuervo invented tequila. Quervo.
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