The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz - Hour 2: The Best of This Week's Samson Sounds

Episode Date: July 11, 2024

We kick things off with the best things said by David Samson during this week's 4-day sweep. It ends with a standing ovation from the entire crew. Then, we love dom(s), the Mirage is giving away money, and Tony believes he could beat Domonique in a game of 1-on-1. Plus, Lizzo? Rizzo? Anthony? And SAT and ACT score talk. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

You're listening to Giraffe King's Network. miss it. Meeting with friends before the show? We can book your reservation. And when you get to the main event, skip to the good bit using the card member entrance. Let's go seize the night. That's the powerful backing of AmeriMexpress. Visit amex.ca slash ymx. Benefits vary by card, other conditions apply. This is the Don LeBattor Show with the StuGuts Podcast. I need to, I need a tone for my performance today. Okay. Hand up.

It's not done yet. I mean, you still have time to mess up again. Or to be better. Thank you. Exactly. I want to get to something that we've been building to all week though. In the course of our, hopefully still, four game series. Sweep.

Sweep. God damn it. We have a list. We have a list, Dominique. A list that Dominique, I wanna credit Dominique. I don't need any credit, I just wanna win, man. I don't care who gets the MVP trophy. I can share it with Jason Tatum, but I just want to go ahead and get this championship.

That's a leader. That's exactly right. The best things that David Sampson has said in the course of a four-game sweep on the Dan LeBotard show with Stugats without Dan LeBotard or Stugats. Let's start with the OLIs. Billy.

OLI number one. All right, this is a top five, but we have many OLIs. We have at least 16 total here. So we're looking at 11 OLIs, I believe. That's outrageous. A record. Only 16? A record.

Jess, I feel like Jess probably has a list of her own. So coming in at the first OLA, or number 16 is from today's very show. Twigs and berries in the grundle. That's not terrible. That's terrible. Number 16, David. That's okay, man, it's terrible. It's terrible. Number 16, David. That's what came in at 16.

It smells so bad when they're done hibernating. How do you know? You're not allowed to make more sound bites while we're doing this. Yeah. Just stop talking. All right, so let's keep it moving. Here's number 15.

Is it Brandon Bass's Texas? Discovering the difficulties of playing two things on the same computer here, same volume, to jack it up a little bit. That's what's going on there. It's tied right now. Yeah, so you know, it's tied and we're coming. You know what we're gonna do? We're gonna kill the music. There we go. Okay, here we go. There we go. Okay, here we go. We're back.

Okay, here we go. Number 15. Is it Brandon Bass's texticles? What? Worth the wait. Is it Brandon Bass's texticles? What? I don't even remember vaguely even what the context was.

Is it Brandon Bass's texticles? It was so, he actually made a great joke about, they said that he, I don't even know if it was a joke if he thought it was true, but someone said that David Tepper had bronze testicles on his desk. And he was like, Lebron's testicles on his desk? And so then he was coming back with a joke saying, oh, are they Brandon Bass's testicles when we were talking about the Drake chain?

No, it was after Pablo read the story about Tepper and said that they were brass testicles. It was a callback and an advancement. It was a Brandon Bass pun. Yes. On brass. And testicles. And texticles.

That's what it was supposed to be. Number 14. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. What is that? Ha ha ha. What the fuck is that? Ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha.

What is that? Ha ha ha ha. That sounds like a bad evil cackle. Ha ha ha ha. That's like what sits at the foot of your bed when you're sleep paralyzed. Ha ha ha ha. That's like a squeaky door closing.

Ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha. I don't think that's me. It sounds like, like a. Who do you think that is? It's, it might be Gargamel's nephew. Gargamel. Shadour Gargamel?

Where you keep your twigs and berries, I've heard. Ooh. Dominique for the win. Dominique's on the floor. Twigs and berries in the grundle. Is that number 10 also? We haven't even cracked the top 12. You can see Dominique's grundle.

Is it Brandon Bass's textical slur? Mr. Thighs. Here's number 13. Now Here's number, oh wait. Get more than Thighs. Oh wait, here's number 13. Now that's number 14. Making the triathlon a duet, do, a, a, a. You fumbled the snap, man. Oh Lord.

No that wasn't the snap, that was the pitch exchange. Don't try this at home. You took the snap, then you're going down the line, and you got nervous because the in man wasn't giving you a good read, and then you. Making the triathlon a duet, do, ath. Bumble. Number 12.

Shake his hand, you get a little tickle. Alfonseca, you really do get a tickle. Shake his hand, you get a little tickle. Billy knows. Do I? You've never shaken hands with an alfonseca? No. Does he still have it? Yes.

He's got four of them. What? Each hand, each foot. Really? So he's like Ernest Hemingway's cats? I don't. I've never shaken their hand. I don't know. Go down to Key West and check it out.

Still time. I've never been to Key West. Oh. I have. It's nice. You would love it, Dave. I don't like the one lane highways. Ah, you'll be all right.

Super numen, super numen, super numer Murray fingers is what they're called okay extra digits is really what you call number 11 I just pulled my back oh that was that was that was off of the dib oh that was we're doing oh no no no that was the chair that was the chair. Yeah All right now remember will came three and there was some violence and some bad stuff What was this about the civil rights movement, oh is that not properly described Great context add their father. It's actually labeled violence and bad stuff, Otani. Oh.

But civil rights too. It's way better for them to think that I was doing that about the civil rights movement just because of Black History Month. We'll get to that. I'm sure that's got to be in there. I'm actually never able to do that. Oh, this is, I do remember this. Contrary to what you may believe, this was not a conversation with the sex therapist.

This was where we asked David, could he freestyle? I've actually never been able to do that. And Pablo actually pointed out that we don't need actually. I've actually never been able to do do that the least necessary actually in human history love Actually couldn't find the hole fast enough I Actually couldn't find the hole fast enough, that's just another Tuesday

Also, not the sex there. I don't know. Still not. I don't know. Funnily enough, still not. I'm 65 inches. That was the sex therapist. Hell yeah. I actually couldn't find the hole fast enough. What was that one about? I don't know.

I don't want to find out. This is actually our last OLA, this is number six now. Is that the one where you squeezed the nipple? Again, not the sex therapist. Still not the sex therapist. This was, we were talking about gateway pranks. Is that the one where you squeezed the nipple? Nope, and he was wrong, it was not the one.

All right, number five. Nuck what you buck? Deserved. Zurbia. Number four. Black History Month, why is that? Now that one. No explanation needed.

I take exception to that. No explanation needed! I take exceptions for that. No explanation needed! Why is that? Number three. I think that there shouldn't be a mental health month anymore. I stand by that. Number two. Straight thighs. Straight thighs. That was windy. I've been sitting next to his thighs for five, four straight days.

I'm sitting next to his thighs for five, four straight days. I'm sitting next to his thighs for five, four straight days. I'm sitting next to his thighs for five, four straight days. I'm sitting next to his thighs for five, four straight days. I'm sitting next to his thighs for five, four straight days. I'm sitting next to his thighs for five, four straight days. I'm sitting next to his thighs for five, four straight days. I'm sitting next to his thighs for five, four straight days.

I'm sitting next to his thighs for five, four straight days. I'm sitting next to his thighs for five, four straight days. I'm sitting next to his thighs for five, four straight days. I'm sitting next to his thighs for five, four straight days. I'm sitting next to his thighs for five, four straight days. I'm sitting next to his thighs for five, four straight days. I'm sitting next to his thighs for five, four straight days. I'm sitting next to his thighs for five, four straight days I've been sitting next to his thighs for five, four straight days. Okay. Number one. Brad!

Thank you all. It's been a pleasure. Standing o from Dom and Pablo, if you're not watching on the DraftKings network, or if you're not, let's, you too. Yay, thank you all. All 70 inches are standing up back here too. He doesn't like being called Dom. I know.

Oh. Wow. Brad, have you not noticed sometimes I do Dominique, sometimes Dom, sometimes nothing. Charlie gave me some scouting report on how to deal with your condescension and all the things that you do. And a lot of it is with a name.

Just business. You also, as you proved on the show all weekend with that list, you do love Dom's. Could you give a little thing please, Billy? Exactly. This is unfortunate for the podcast audience. The true number one on the list is when he got koala'd. There's a picture of the end of our dap. That's a real hug.

Hey, I'm looking good on you, by the way. Who, me? Oh, nah, get outta here, man. Come on, come on, come on. You saw that camera, you were like, let me throw a little extra. I didn't want to tell me I had to hold up a whole person. AR I'm looking good on you by the way. Oh me. Oh, no You saw that camera you like a little extra

That's me Digital right? I forgot what it stands for ready By the way guys, I don't know if you have heard about this But I think I figured out where Stu gots has been all week Oh, I saw this story in the news about the Mirage in Las Vegas and apparently it's closing and they have to give away $1.6 million in cash by the end of the weekend. Why aren't we all there?

That's a great question. I heard Stu Gotz was in Vegas for the debt or something, but I think that this may be the actual thing that he has fled Miami for. What could be easier for a casino than giving away money? You could just reset the slot machines and you can give away a million dollars in 10 minutes. I don't know if it's that easy.

I think you still have to win it, right? Well someone just has to play it. No, you can absolutely set the slot machine to pay off immediately on the next spin. I'm assuming they don't wanna do it that way. And they're still open. So they're trying to do it until before they close. Are they trying to like roulette, take away zero and double

zero and still pay 36 to one? I saw a video on Twitter of all these people like swarming the mirage, playing the slot machines, trying to win. And apparently this weekend, they're giving away $200,000 in guaranteed winnings each day this week. And then Friday and Saturday it jumps to 250. And then on the 16th,

it's $100,000 in guaranteed winnings. Now, you don't mean for everybody. No, no, but like in the aggregate. They're not going to not give it that away that day. But you realize that many people will still lose. Of course. Of course, yes. I don't want to give the impression to people

that they should spend money to fly to the Mirage where they have the ability to win money gambling at the Mirage. My assumption is that people are not that foolish and they recognize that. Have you been to a casino recently? No, I think people who go to casino recognize that they are paying, well, there are some people

who have a problem, that's a different conversation, but most people know you're going to casino and have a good time, you're not going to casino to get rich. I take exception to tell you that if you speak to, and I've had this conversation and I would like to share it with you, casinos, and I don't mean necessarily Vegas ones,

but local casinos. Yeah, yeah, yeah, local casinos are different story. Are the busiest on what day of the week? Payday. Payday. Yeah, I'm not surprised by that. Those are people who are not there for entertainment. I apologize, I need to clarify.

I feel like the Vegas casinos on the strip are very different. Like I've been to casinos in Colorado, very depressing. Been to casinos in Detroit, also very sad. It's, in casinos off the Vegas strip, get a little sad. But I assume most people in Vegas are in Vegas having a good time and don't expect to win money, right?

Well, the whole dynamic with this is that, yes, you have a chance to win $1.2 million in slot machine prizes, $400,000 at table games, not at card games. So the video you saw was those tables empty and these lines of Stugatz's waiting to pull the lever. And what's funny to me is I think Stugatz left Vegas to go elsewhere prior to this opportunity because he doesn't want to compete with all the other Stugatsis.

I think that is too upsetting to him, not having the monopoly of Stugatsim. Monopsony. I don't know about that, David. I just don't think it's a good plan to go to the Mirage and try to win money this weekend. That's because David right now is going to fly there by the end of the show and take it all for himself.

You don't seem like a gambling type or like a, I mean. I love craps and blackjack. Yeah, okay, nevermind, take it back. Hates mental health month though. No, it's, I love poker, craps, blackjack. I do not play slots, I've never played slots. Once in a while, I'll put a stray bill in that, in the machine where you hit the buttons

to get to play five card poker, where you keep the two jacks and you try to win something, but those are all, you lose. Have you ever been in like a big, like a high limits poker game? Yeah. Oh, a high limit poker game? No. You've been in tournaments though?

In blackjack tournaments, crafts tournaments. Do you think you have a good poker face? I won a lot of money at Horace Mann in high school playing spades. We played a lot of spades. That's a card game. Dominique, David is explaining spades to you now. I love spades. Black History Month.

Why is that? Well, please. So you didn't know that spades is like, a big deal for like, black people? I did not. Oh, okay, cool. I didn't think it was a colored card game. I thought it was just as big for black people

and white people, anyone want to play cards? I didn't like that. Clip it. We gotta do this again, guys. Number two. So yeah, I mean, I think there are certain different things that become important. It's typically the absence of color.

Well, there's red and black suits. So it's always, that's the color you're talking about. That's what you meant. It's not UNO, so there are not that many colors in it. So they're cultural things. So like Domino's is a big West Coast game. Domino's is a huge Cuban game. Agreed, but I'm saying they're different things.

I'm sorry. I just need to acknowledge that this is how far we've come as a show. David has endeared himself in his goodwill to such a point where David spoke in a way that was clearly unintended and actually said a thing that we needed to, as a team, try to protect him. And we all tried and none of us bought it,

but that might have been the most inspiring thing I've seen all week. It was one of my favorite parts of the show because I know exactly what was happening. Okay, you should not have said that. Twins and berries in the grass. I love you guys. The answers, I love playing cards.

I've always loved it. I had one of the biggest fights I ever had with my wife is that I never let my kids beat me in any card games or board games. I don't know what you do with your kids. Did you ever let them beat you? We have a rule is that 10 years old, once you get to 10 years old, then it's real competition.

So below 10, you let them win everything. Yeah, we mess around, have a good time, but they know, and it was like a running joke from my older two, was we coming up to 10. They better have some fun now. It gets real now. It's gonna get real. No more open jump shots.

I did not have that rule. It was immediate. Whether it was started with Battleship, Stratego, these are old school games. I've been hard on my daughter for Tic-Tac-Toe. I'm like. You can't let her win Tic-Tac-Toe. Sorry.

It's not preparing her for the real world. Hey Dominique, how badly would you beat Tony in one-on-one? You know the answer to that. In what sport? In basketball. Pick one. We can go upstairs right now. Let's do it.

Let's go. Get cooked. I don't wanna embarrass you. Pablo had this experience. I only got those low top shoes on. I don't wanna do you like that. I'll beat your ass in socks. You please.

You please. Don't get nervous on me mustache. I feel you getting red. Is Tony taller than you are? I can feel it. It don't get nervous on me mustache. I Feel you're getting red Is Tony taller than you are I can feel it. I don't matter how many inches is Tony Oh Tony's here Vertical you do the math six four. Yeah, are you really six four? Yeah Wow, okay six three Equal. Who's six three? No, David.

David. You are six three or you're not? No, I'm not six three. He's nobody's six three. Tony's not six four either. You have to know that. Oh, everybody's lying? I'm just asking a simple question.

No, no, no, no, no. It's the thing that people, I think generally people in the world who haven't been professionally measured at Combine and stuff, they always say they're a little faster, they're a little taller, they're way a little bit less. Like, here's the thing, I guarantee you, Tony, he's not 64.

I'm 65 inches. I am 65 inches. Well, yeah, you're probably honest about that. And I don't lie about my weight? Who talks about their speed? Do you walk around, hey, I got a four, nine. Who does that? I ran a four, nine once.

No chance. What do you mean no chance? No nine. It happens. Who does that? I ran a four, nine once. No chance. What do you mean no chance? No chance. What do you mean no chance? No chance. You ran probably a five, five, five, five, three. Five, three.

Dominique, what was your 40 time that you thought going into college for the first time? You got it actually electronically timed. So all the little magazines, and that's how old I am, had me listed as a four'3", going into college. Old ass magazines. Yeah, and I went, they are old, and then I went and had my first time at college

and I ran a 4'7". And were you upset? Yeah, I was shocked because I thought these were accurate times. I was like, I had been telling people I ran a 4'3". I didn't run a actual 4'.3 until I got to the combine. But it happens to all the kids. You go to your little high school

and you run your 38 yard 40 and your coach with his stopwatch doesn't know what he's doing and all the kids think they're faster than they are. And Tony, I'll cook you in basketball, seriously. Pablo knows how this happens. It happens often when people- Bro, I'm ready whenever you wanna play.

I don't dunk the smoke. We can play whenever you want, however you want with socks on, barefoot, with shoes on upstairs, outside, wherever you want to go, let's go. Stilts? Oh. He might need them. You play to 11?

We can play to 11, we can play to 21, we can play to 100. Three dribble or just? You play whatever you want to do. However you feel comfortable playing. I was just asking man. If you want to play three dribbles, we can play three dribbles. I feel like Tony would win. The Dan LeBattard Show with Stu Gotz

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free at linkedin.com slash prep. That's linkedin.com slash p r e p to post your job for free. Terms and conditions apply. Don LeBattard. Pablo leads all of podcasting in reading while smiling. If you listen to ESPN Daily, he sounds like he's having the time of his life. Stugats. Coming up next, I'm gonna tell you

how the Savannah Bananas are changing things. How do you know I'm smiling? That's how I find my vocal range. Sometimes I just say Savannah bananas. This is the Don LeBattar show with the Stugats. I think Tony has age on you, Dominiqueique that you're not factored into you're not young anymore possibly I mean you know you're you have a 41 yeah I know I assume Tony's looking at a two handle though I don't know his age but I'm assuming a two handle well I am kinda in this room it's's kinda like how...

Why are you looking at me? Because you know, it's like, I agree that I'm old. I'm probably the, not including you, I'm the oldest person of the potential athletes in this room. Just say you're the second oldest. Yeah, that's a fair point. Double nickel. That's my first turnover of the game, I apologize.

Thank you though. I think that kind of like LeBron's career without athleticism can be extended because his low version of athleticism is still high enough to compete. I think that my age athleticism, pretty close to Tony's. So what is the difference when you're 60, a 20 year old will get you an athletic? Cause we're saying that Tony's an athletic 20, I will be 32.

A 32 year old. Tony will beat me when I'm, I'll give 63. But LeBron can't play until he's 50. Nah, because they're closer to LeBron than you are to me. He's also playing, like LeBron will be playing the NBA, he's playing you. And the Tony. Yeah.

It's quite a big difference. Still. No travel, a big difference. Still. No travel, probably no defense. You actually play basketball though. Like what happened, how this started, that Charlie's bringing it up is like I've been- What level are we talking here? Oh yeah, Tony, you play like-

I play Juco. Rec league. Got hurt. Oh, that's bad, man. Burned out. What did you hurt? I had a... That's the classic thing.

His ego. I had my meniscus redone on both knees. I tore every ligament in my right ankle. It was just a lot worse. Yeah, that's like the pitchers who say, man, I was so good at pitching. And then I had time... In high school.

In high school, I was blowing 87. You know, the other one is, I heard from a lot of guys that went on to work normal jobs, when they find out that I played football, they'll say something to the effect of, yeah I was great, I was about to be Allstate, but a coach didn't like me. And the politics always get in the way of people making-

Yeah, it's very important. Boy, you can't play. You gotta play, they're gonna put your ass out there. But you know, just because you're good at football doesn't mean you're good at basketball. I know. I'm not good at basketball, I'm just- Still you can beat him you know, just because you're good at football doesn't mean you're good at basketball. I know. I'm not good at basketball. I'm just, uh.

But still you can beat him? Yeah, just on sheer athleticism. What's the athleticism in one-on-one? Do you not think looking at them that Dominique is in better shape than Tony? But I don't think you need to be, if they're doing full court. Have you seen Luca?

Not in this room. Better than everybody. He doesn't look like anybody. I'm sorry, I can't handle these comparisons. Tony, did you just comp yourself to Luca? No, but what Billy's doing is look at Dominique's physique and look how better his physique is than Tony's. That must mean he's better and more athletic.

Have you seen Luca's physique versus everybody else's physique in the NBA? Completely different. It's not just his physique, it's that he was a professional athlete. Hold on, are you saying you're more athletic than Dominique? It sounds like it. Tony, I understand exactly what you're saying,

which may not be good for you, but I totally understand it. There are baseball players, and you know some of them because they have rings. When they take their shirts off, it's mind boggling how flubby they are and how. How many years did Bartolo Colon play? Bartolo Colon was not always as fat as he was at the end.

I know that you are nobody that we're talking about. I mean, I was a division one athlete. So you just don't worry about it? Because you've never touched a basketball, so don't worry about it. He's not the one. This is, see the insecurity is making me gain confidence. This is getting good now.

This is making me gain confidence I was actually a visual an athlete in that practice with an invisible footballer tear my nits maniscus and Juco Charlie was an offensive lineman and oh yeah, we had 80 pounds more. And the politics got in the way. Only a harsh man would he have been in offensive. What we were saying with St. Albans is the same thing. That's the same thing? Were you really a football player at St. Albans? Oh, yeah. That would make you the biggest guy in the team. We had Ogden at the school before.

That's awesome. Jonathan Ogden, only the biggest human ever. Speaking of the 90s, I have an update. I asked Chris Cody, why did you write 1990 on your notepad while listening to the sex therapist? And he responded, I don't remember. Thanks. Thank you so much.

Someone did tweet at me and said that apparently she said that a lot of this information was only became known in the 90s about, I guess, orgasms. She did open with that. These sorts of things. It was the percentages about when women orgasm with penetration versus not. Thank you for clarifying.

Yes. Important clarification. So that was like he wrote it down. That's why he wrote it down. And I think he was joking during that time, but when we got to the CRs, he started taking real copious notes. No, I think he wants to go back to like, he's going on JSTOR tonight

and he's looking up scientific research. He reviewed journal articles about the female orgasm. From the 90s. Which I respect. He's checking the flip notes. Yeah, we talked a bit about, about, I was checking the pictures.

About easy- Lexis, nexus, and vulvas. Easy class, about easy classes in college. All right, do you remember having this conversation? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I took women's sexuality when I was in college. So like, oh well. Were you the only guy in the class?

Or was it all athletes? No, no, no, no, it was mostly women. I think, yeah, I think it might've been one other guy in the class other than me. Did you meet anyone cool? No, I honestly did might have been one other guy in the class other than me. Did you meet anyone cool? No, I honestly did not go for that reason. I went because, I took that class because. Did you meet anyone cool?

I assume that he was, yeah. Yeah, are you asking what I'm referring to? Nope, nope, nope. Like leather jacket, Fonzie style eight. Rizzo, I'm talking. Lizzo? Rizzo, I'm talking. Lizzo? Rizzo. Oh.

Anthony? Nope. Clip it, I don't know, maybe. We'll figure it out later. Yeah, it was, in the summer we had to try to take easy classes so we could get some credits and also be on campus and it was one of the only easy classes that were left because I was too young to get priority and

there aren't a bunch of classes but I took it and I learned a bunch of the stuff that we're talking about yesterday and it was like helpful. Did you take notes? Yeah I mean we had exams and tests I took notes. What grade did you get? He doesn't remember. You have to ask them. Anyone who remembers their college grade? That's just awesome. Anyone who tells you they remember two things that are lying to you? Their SAT scores and any grade,

you know your SAT scores. Actually, I never took the SAT, but I know my college grades, but I also graduated like less than 10 years ago. I know my SAT scores, because it's funny. And I know Pablo knows grades, but I also graduated like less than 10 years ago, so I know my SAT scores because it's funny And I know Pablo knows his SAT score and I know Charlie knows his SAT score Yep, Charlie and Pablo wear it on there Well, actually Charlie know doesn't mention this to anyone except for Pablo you mentioned it once and it's been the defining

Do you find the need to now explain when you tell your SAT scores that now it's out of 2400? But when you did it was only out of 1600? He doesn't say the number. He says, he explains his SAT score differently. Pablo, go ahead. Well, first off, I believe it's back to a 1600 scale now. Did not know that, thank you. Is that on your Google nerds? How do you know this?

Hold on, I'm just checking. I'm just checking. I'm just checking. I'm just checking. 2016, the SAT changed from a 2400 point test to a 1600 point test. Coincidentally, that was the end of my kids taking those exams. Fababla, would you like to, since you don't use numbers when you talk about your SAT score.

I don't know what you're talking about Dominique. Okay, cool. Charlie, what'd you get on the SAT? I don't know. I don't remember. Cool. What was the point of this? That nobody remembers except for Fababla. But they do, they're all just pretending

that they didn't, it seems. I don't think any of them actually do. And whatever they say, I assume they're lying. It's like height and weight. I assume they're saying that they got more than they got. What did you get on your SAT? I have zero recollection, zero. I know I took it once.

If you did really poorly, do you think you will remember the number? No, I have a terrible memory. Do you think if you got a perfect score, you will remember the number? No, I have a terrible memory. Do you think if you got a perfect score, you will remember the number? Yes. I definitely didn't get a perfect score. Pablo, you say you got a perfect score.

I'm not. You didn't say anything. Because you did not get a perfect score. No, no, no, no, I did not. That is a great stone face. I can't tell if you're bullshitting me right now. You got a 1600 on your SATs. So now I get it.

Now I get the power that I wield in this industry. Everybody thinks I should be the nerd genius that weighs in on matters like whatever the SAT score I should have gotten is, I should know that and have that. If I betray these film nerds, I should be a traitor in their eyes for doing so. Meanwhile, Charlie Kravitz got a 1580. Perfect score on math. Wow. How proud your parents must be right now. Look at you. 1580?

Yeah, everybody proud. You guys can have them. We're taking them. How about Dominique versus Tony? Yeah, everybody bro. But we're keeping him. Yeah, you guys can have him. We're taking him. How about Dominique versus Tony? Winner keeps Charlie. No. Yes. I will not play for his love. And we can spot you the 20 points that he didn't get on his SAT.

They're objectifying you, Charlie. That's why you stay with me. I'm so uncomfortable. This is the first time a compliment has actually made me uncomfortable. It sucks, doesn't it? It's weird. I'm good at those.

So what'd you get, Pablo? I don't remember. I don't believe him at all. Starts with a one and a four. Ooh. Ha ha! You traitor. Honestly, now I'm the loser.

I just tried to like, SAT shape something. How do you know his SAT score? Pablo tells everybody. This is the only reason. I was early pandemic producing a show that Dan didn't shout for with Pablo and Mina. And they started talking about their SAT scores. And it got really awkward when they asked me.

And I sheepishly admitted that I did pretty well on the SAT. And I saw Pablo and Mina start to actually respect me as a human. That moment and the moment after. That's true. That's exactly right. And now she respects you less, Pablo, after yesterday, right, because of this whole debacle?

Can we call it a debacle? It didn't raise to that level, I don't think. Maybe today now. That's a debacle. If it's still going on, it has to be two days. On the scale of disasters that we've been trying to workshop? I think this think. Maybe today now. If it's still going on. It has to be two days. On the scale of disasters that we've been trying to workshop, I think this has to go two days.

I think if one thing gets aggregated today, it should be Dominique talking about the 18 game NFL schedule. Yeah, that would probably be good. That was our best, I think our best stuff. Tony. Second thing would be Twig and Barry's in the Grundle. Agreed.

SAT, Tony, spit it out. I know I scored less than four digits. Oh, me too. Yeah, I scored like 970 or something. No, you did not. You get 400 for signing your name. No, you don't know him well enough, David. No, that is...

I got a 970. Good enough to get me into Juco, which is all I needed. Yeah, to be an athlete. To who? Until. Thank you. Until you got hurt. I like what David tried to do there. Thanks for getting me. You're one of the very few.

It happened today in the Grundle. Happened today at the start of the show. What bothered me the most about the start of today's show is you not getting me. You know I hate that. I need someone to know exactly what's in my head. And it's usually you, but this morning you were off your game badly.

That's what you think. So Tony, all jokes aside, you really think that you could beat me one on one? Yeah. Okay, cool. There's highlights of him playing basketball if you wanna see them. Oh, let's see that.

Cash, look at him. Oh yeah, look at that. I'm pretending like I'm comfortable on the court. Ooh, that's the problem. Uh oh. That's the problem. You don't think this, wait. Can you beat a mean?

See, they think I'm here to play. You don't get to. A mean? Tony, have you played a mean? I don't need to. Come on. Oh, that doesn't You don't get to. A mean? Tony, have you played a mean? I don't need to. Come on, a mean? I don't need to. This is a game.

A mean? You should be willing to play for Charlie if you're so sure you can beat Tony. Well, I would not play for people. So I don't play for somebody, yeah. I have agency. Yeah, I would never do that to you, Charlie. Which one?

UTA, baby. Huh? I think it's UTI. No, it's definitely UTA baby. Huh? I think it's UTI. No, it's definitely UTA. That was a question for yesterday, Billy. Yeah, I would never do that to Charlie. Go where you wanna go, I treat him good. I really wanted to do something yesterday

that I didn't do. And normally I do do it on the show. I can do it now. Nobody wants to find out what this is. Black History Month, why is that? I wanted her to confirm what's been told to me for all of these years. If you don't use it, you lose it?

No. Go on. That after sex, you have to go pee pee or you get a UTI. Yeah, I mean, that's a fact. I've never seen it. Playing the hits too with go pee pee, well done by you, sir.

I mean, I don't think that you automatically get a UTI, but I do think that. So you've heard that. People, it's known that you're like, you're supposed to. That's been used with me to excuse from snuggling. And that always says Bob and me. By you or with you? Against me.

Yeah. Oh, you're a snuggler.'m a huge big spoon or little spoon what do you think I was too quick 65 inches a spoon that was way too quick just like you we've never spooned and I resent the implication I mean we have David I don't think that was the implication I That was definitely not the implication. David, David, I believe when you go koala someone, it's obvious that you got a little spoon energy. I'm 65 inches.

Yeah, like. There are times that I am both the little spoon and the big spoon. That's called masturbating. When there's a third person. Oh, gosh. Going number three. We may win.

We may have just won. What is the story? That's what David says after he's both the little spoon and the big spoon. I do tend to cheer. What happened? It's true. I do tend to cheer. What happened? That's true.

I do tend to give myself a standing ovation. But I do love snuggling, but I often hear. And I wanted to ask her, and I meant to ask her, and we had that time limit. And so I wanted to speak to her longer. She'll come back, I'm sure. Do we know whether she enjoyed the segment? It's up to David. Has there been any follow-up to whoever got her on the show? I feel like we were quite respectful and transparent

about what we were. She kept seeing Chris taking notes, though, in a weird way, and there was a guy twerking. Lewis was twerking, I think. That was, that was, so, are we sure? Not very much. Are we totally sure she was okay?

We'll check I think so Yeah, the Lewis twerking was like that was Lewis. I was Lewis the ones. Yeah, it was a twerker. We get that video No, no, thank you. It's very good video. It's not Lewis is offering to do it again. No, no, please do less No more. No, no, no Doing it Please do less no more no no no Get it the hell out of here we lost again no no we still bring it back speaking of college grades I graduated come Laude nice That was supposed to be a jizz joke Yeah, you told me not to explain the joke. I don't so why why don't you help cuz her less she delivered it in a funny way

No, it's different very different. I was actually just laying out cuz I thought Pablo's gonna say same but like earnestly about his grades Yeah I was There's no way to yeah, make a joke that it won't make me sound like an even larger asshole That's no point. Oh, joke that it won't make me sound like an even larger asshole. That's the whole point. Did you graduate with some honors? He had a lot of strings around his. Just a word or two before the cum.

A lot of sumas and maxims. Magmas, magna, magna cum. You can't go magna. Hell yeah. I'm not coming in tomorrow. We won. No, it's a four game sweep. You have to come in tomorrow. I mean, maybe for the trophy presentation.

Show's canceled tomorrow, guys. Maybe we come in for the parade. Maybe we get Jeremy to just toast in his raincoat, get sick for another six days, because this series is over. We never got to talk about Jalen Brown. I know, I was looking for a segue the entire time. No you weren't. I know you better than that.

What a sore loser. And there's our take. We don't need a segment, we got it. Nike's in charge. Jalen Brown need a segment. We got it. Nike's in charge. Jalen Brown has no chance to ever be on the team. And he wasn't happy for his teammate. I'm happy for you two, and I'm very happy for the container.

We are a team. Do you know who I'm happy for? Man, Pablo. Lucky we got a good lead. Oh God. Let me just, hey Billy, can I protect you for a second? Brad! There it is!

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