The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz - Hour 2: The Long Midwest Goodbye (feat. Charlie Berens)

Episode Date: December 3, 2025

"Oh, you CAN say asshole?" Charlie Berens is Midwest Nice, and he's here in Florida for his latest tour and to explain to us why he stands out like a sore thumb, for cryin' out loud. Plus, Giannis...... something happening there? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Starting point is 00:00:29 The tequila. That invented tequila. Broximo.com. Please drink responsibly. Quervo. This is the Dan Levator show with the Stucats podcast. We learn all sorts of stuff we did not know on South Beach sessions. And this week, Chuck Todd is on the show.
Starting point is 00:00:51 And I did not realize that he's somebody who just loves to gamble. He is a gambler, a big gambler. he also fancies himself a cook and has taken the challenge of will cook against Greg Cody if Greg Cody is willing to unretire because he's been complaining that all our cooking competitions are fixed and that he's never won one even though he is a very good cook and he cares about it and I will say it honestly he's great at cooking but he's lost all the cooking competitions around here and Chuck Todd that's fun Roy didn't want a rematch but Chuck Todd says he makes a good Turkey. Let's play one clip that you guys, you guys didn't know he was a gambler, though, right?
Starting point is 00:01:31 No. But he's got a rule when it comes to gambling that I did not know. I will say this. I never gamble on Miami games because I don't want to be doubly disappointed. Really? Okay. I never gamble on hurricane games. And I refuse to do it. We'll never do it. No matter how tempting, no matter how confident I am and how poorly our coach will cover spreads or anything like that. But I won't gamble in Miami. I wish I had. I just love it. That's the only one, though.
Starting point is 00:01:58 That's your only sacred cow. The University of Miami is the only one. Yeah, the only sacred cow. Lest you think it's a bit with Mike Ryan, he just whispered in my ear annoyingly. I couldn't even hear what was happening that Chuck Todd was saying because he's like Miami 7 and 5 against the spread, Notre Dame 6 and 6.
Starting point is 00:02:16 And also I know why Dan likes Texas Tech so much because they're 11 and 1 against the spring. That's his team. Crush everybody. I love my moneymakers too. Can't wait for BYU to beat him. I think the only one is. when they were playing with their backup quarterback.
Starting point is 00:02:29 I think that's the only time. I mean, they've been beating everybody else up. What if BYU wins, Alabama loses, and then Miami gets in over Alabama. I don't think that's happening. If Alabama loses a close game, they're still going to get in. I heard Colin Cowherd say yesterday that Alabama's victory at Athens is worth three victories. And I think we should just make it up like that. Because we're already making it up like that.
Starting point is 00:02:52 We'd all agree on two. Notre Dame fans have reason to be upset. that there was nothing more confounding than hearing Hunter Eurechak say, like, that win at 5 and 7 Auburn. That was really impressive how they went forward on fourth down over there. Last year, Miami was held against them, and I agree that they were in these close games against lesser competition. Alabama hasn't played good football for a month.
Starting point is 00:03:17 They're just getting it over the line needing trick plays and ballsy decisions. A lot of fourth downs. They've been saved by two fourth down plays in games. And any time Coleman touched the football in that game, it was a disaster. So did we! I don't understand. Like, what? Like, because they beat five, they barely beat five and seven Auburn.
Starting point is 00:03:35 Now we're moving them up. Jeremy, the floor is yours. Mike, don't interrupt him. You've been frustrated for about 10 straight days because you can't get a word in around Mike's elbows and teeth and general obnoxiousness. Well, so did we soundbite says everything I need to. Like, it's just that and that as well. That's how I feel listening to all of this because the same arguments that get made on behalf of Miami don't apply to anybody else. And it's understandable.
Starting point is 00:04:02 I have done the same thing, except, of course, when I've argued, it's been because my teams won all of their games and not dropped two of them. It is for BYU, like, BYU is the one that's really getting to me because the whole argument for everyone over the last decade when it comes to the college football playoff is like, Well, you're not part of the power five, so you don't matter. And now you have a team that worked their way to become a part of that conference that only has one loss and earn their way to their conference championship and is being told, hey, if you lose to the team that we already saw you lose to, we know who you are, you're not as good as that team that is one of the top four teams in the country. If you lose to them again, well, that's it.
Starting point is 00:04:47 You're gone for a team that didn't make it to their conference championship, you know, because seven and five Duke could. And it, you know, Notre Dame doesn't play in a conference. Like, there's all of these examples. It's upsetting. It's the process. Everyone's upset with the process, whether you end up benefiting from it or you're the team left out. So at this point, I'm just exhausted by it.
Starting point is 00:05:08 Mike, everyone is the audience as well. Mike, do you have a rebuttal? I wasn't listening. Yep. One of the things I do believe I can get the audience attention with, even though it is something that really does, it does mess with me to see what's, what's become of sports journalism content because today Pablo Torre finds out again has another story. It's Epstein file related, though it's not the Epstein news. I saw clips of that
Starting point is 00:05:41 last night. Whoa. Yeah, Pablo does it again today with something that came out at five o'clock yesterday and I urge you to watch it and listen to it because it is very thorough. But as I I see Pablo doing this incredible journalism, I myself feel guilty that I'm more interested in Janus all of a sudden blocking the Milwaukee Bucks on social media, which is now telegraphing. This is the move now. When you do this on social media, you are passive-aggressively telling everyone I am done with my team. He is now telling his 16 million followers that he has unfollowed the bucks. The bucks are pretty bad this year. He's been good. They're still bad. My guess is that he wants to be playing somewhere else and that time has run out for the Milwaukee
Starting point is 00:06:30 bucks. That Miles Turner acquisition isn't going to keep him here. Any more than that Shabazz Napier draft pick is keeping LeBron James in Miami in 2014. It's starting, Dan. You know, coming up mid-December is when everyone becomes available to be traded, all right? This is not a coincidence to this timing. It's all starting. I've already, last night, I already worked the trade machine. I don't know if anyone else has done that. I already worked the trade machine yesterday for how the heat,
Starting point is 00:07:01 this young, overachieving team with a bunch of assets and positioning themselves to be a major player. If a whale becomes available, it looks like it's all starting. He's going to become available. That part's obvious. Milwaukee's not good enough, and he already was tapping his wrist on his wrist watch telling Milwaukee. That means it's time, run out of time. I mean, they have run out of time.
Starting point is 00:07:30 They're not any good. Milwaukee's not. They're 9 and 13. Milwaukee is not a player and a player for the championship, and that fall has been pretty precipitous since they won the championship. I thought in those finals, Janice's career was over. I thought he landed on the court, and he's. destroyed his knee and he would never play again.
Starting point is 00:07:50 Instead, he had one of the all-time greatest finals performances. That is correct. He won the championship. But since then, it's been nothing but decline and he's still great, indisputably, great, and anybody would want him. It's been a failure that they have not put around him what it is that he needs to get better. So what does the trade machine show you?
Starting point is 00:08:11 Well, it's not what the trade machine shows me. It's what I decide to put in the trade machine. The trade machine is only a mechanism. Greg. Have you ever used to Tray Machine? I have just for laughs. It's only a... I don't believe you. No, I have. How does it work? Yeah. Yo! Chicken thought!
Starting point is 00:08:26 You put in a couple of names and it spits out whether the salaries work and, you know, all that kind of bullshit. No, don't believe it. Fairly no way to use the internet. Yeah. But what you're doing is you're setting up heat fans to be disappointed again because their track record on getting whales
Starting point is 00:08:42 is not greatly... So now we don't even go after them is what you're saying. We should give up on even wanting them. No, what I'm saying is, who would you get, who can the heat trade? I can name it. I'm glad you asked. We'll give you Yovich. That's number one. All right. Oh, come on. What? You got to do better than not. Obviously, Kalal Ware is obviously in the back. We'll give you Kalal Ware. Okay. Yep, you got to give where. All right. Got to give something to get something.
Starting point is 00:09:04 All right. Yovich, where, hero. He's from Milwaukee. And Hero? He's from Milwaukee. Yeah. Got to give something to get something. You got to give, you got to give Wiggins because you got to make the salaries work. If I'm giving him here, I'm not giving, uh, Jaime. not doing it. I'm not given Jaime either. It's Hero Wiggins. You pick one. Jaime or Hero? Where, who's the first one I said? Yovitch and all the draft picks you want. For what it's worth, if you included all of that, you would need to take some other salary back as well, probably Kyle Kuzma. We'd be giving them too much. That's how much Wiggins makes. Well, it's actually a really good salary considering the type of season he's having.
Starting point is 00:09:40 You could include Simone Fontecchio instead of Wiggins and that gets it done. Okay. There are plenty of teams that will be interested in this. I would assume the New York Knicks among them because the Knicks are not good enough. Like, even with, well, Carl Anthony Towns would have to be. Yeah, I'd assume that all the The Hawks would be really an interesting place as well because Jalen Daniel seems to be the guy that, like, or Jalen Johnson, rather, the guy that they want to build around from here. Well, they would. They would trade Tray Young. They'd probably trade Chris Stap's Porzingis, a couple of picks. But if you're Milwaukee and you're looking to build around something, it depends
Starting point is 00:10:13 on how you value a guy like Trey Young or whatever his salary number is versus a guy like Tyler. Yeah, but he's not going to want to go to Atlanta. New York is going to be interesting to him. That's the point. Don's not going to want to go to Atlanta. That's the point, right? Because I don't think this is going to be an ugly breakup. So because of what he has done for the franchise, I think his preference is going to play a major role.
Starting point is 00:10:35 Charlie Barron's is going to join us. The comedian and slash journalist is going to join us. He's got a tour that's rolling through South Florida. He will be here in a few minutes. But I wanted to get Greg Cody's thoughts. on an assortment of things, including Mississippi's players saying that Kiffin lied to them, that Lane Kiffin lied to them. I've heard a number of people say over the course of the last few days to justify their outrage,
Starting point is 00:11:01 that they totally understand why Lane Kiffin would go. They just don't like how he did it. And I'm just curious if there is an actual right way to do that to Mississippi. This may be the worst way, but is there a right way to do that when Mississippi is. having its best season ever is in the playoffs, is there a right way to leave? I don't think there is with this timing, but he picked the wrong way by apparently lying about whether or not Ole Miss players wanted him to stay and coach, and now he's leaving a trail of people of players calling him a liar. We never discussed that. That never
Starting point is 00:11:40 came up in our locker room. And now the athletic director basically bouncing him out the door and saying, hey, here's the door, get out of here, we don't want you to coach. That's more explicable right now, because apparently that's the truth based on everything that's come out. Bad look for Lane Kiffin, not the leaving, but the leaving a trail of people going, what? We never wanted him. Is there someone who cares less about the look, though? He turned his back on us. We don't want him coaching our team in the playoffs. Are you saying that you have a problem because he never actually told the players that he wanted to coach them? I don't know how that would come up.
Starting point is 00:12:17 a meeting. He wasn't even allowed to be in certain. He said that in the text when he left. He did want to coach them. He did want to coach in the CFP. He wasn't allowed to. But they didn't, the players didn't want to. But I think when did Lane say, these guys want me to coach
Starting point is 00:12:33 I think is what we're asking. What are the players saying that he lied about? Because I really do believe, as I say this, like I've really heard so many people do this. So many people. I don't have a problem with him leaving because anybody can understand going to take a better job. I have a problem with the way that he did it. And I just really don't think that there's a way for him to do it that would have been correct with this is the timing.
Starting point is 00:12:58 I think for Lane, this wasn't that bad, given his history. And also, like, there is a worse way to do it. It's how Nick Saban did it, which is say that you're not leaving. And everybody knew this was always the case with Lane Kiffin. When they hired him, they kind of knew that this day might come, they're just really upset about the timing of it because they're having what might be their greatest season ever as a program. Have you heard of Goldbelly? It's this amazing site that I personally order from all the time. They bring you the most iconic, famous foods from restaurants all across the United States,
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Starting point is 00:14:37 Thursday night football's on and it's only on prime video this week. The Dallas Cowboys take on the Detroit Lions in a new rivalry with lots of heat. Coverage begins at 7 p.m. Eastern with football's best party TNF tonight. Not a prime member, not a problem. Simply sign up for a 30-day free trials. The Cowboys and Lions Thursday at 7 p.m. Eastern only on Prime video.
Starting point is 00:14:59 Restrictions apply. See Amazon.com slash Amazon Prime for details. Hey, I'm mean here. And the NBA on Prime is back this Friday. with another great doubleheader. The action starts with one of the best rivalries in sports as Luca Donchitz and the Los Angeles Lakers face Jalen Brown and the Boston Celtics.
Starting point is 00:15:21 Then Cooper Flagg and the Dallas Mavericks meet SGA and the Oklahoma City Thunder. And if you're not a prime member, that's not a problem. Sign up for a 30-day free trial to get started today. The Lakers and Celtics, the Mavericks and Thunder. Coverage starts Friday. At 6.30 p.m. Eastern, only on Prime. restrictions apply see amazon.com slash amazon prime for details don lebatard john can you rate my alpuccino from that billiard scene in carlito's way if i do it for you i think it's pretty good yeah okay stugats you think you big time
Starting point is 00:15:56 but you're gonna die big time that is my infamous scale of one to ten that's a That's a 7.6. Solid. Good job, Dad. Good job. That's a suing nominee right there. This is the Dan Levitar show with the Stugats. So there's at least two instances here where current players are saying Lane lied to them.
Starting point is 00:16:34 This player is named Suntarine Perkins, and he responded to Lane Kiffin's tweet with his statement. You know, where he's talking about, I wanted to, I'm leaving, but I wanted to coach a team, and, you know, the athletic director wouldn't allow me. And he responds to that with, that was not the message you said in the meeting room. Everybody that was in there can vouch on this. And another player, Bryson Sanders, an offensive lineman, he tweeted out to that statement as well, quote, despite the team asking me to keep coaching, end quote. And he responds with, I think everyone that was in that room would disagree. Right. So it's a bad look for Kiffin.
Starting point is 00:17:08 from every angle. And the other thing about upward mobility, when he's at an FAU, everybody understands he's taken a step up, he wants out of there, and they justify it. But Ole Miss, coming off the season they just had, that's pretty much, that's pretty close to the top. Like, you know, he could have made a career decision saying, I'm where I want to be right now. Look what we've just done. And he didn't.
Starting point is 00:17:35 He's still upwardly mobile, still chasing. And isn't that what we're all doing at work? And I can see why Ole Miss players are upset. Yeah, but they're going to feel betrayed just by his leaving. There's no way for them not to be upset. Like him leaving, if we're just talking about James Franklin leaves and takes all his recruits with him, if we're just talking about the coach now matters more than the program, of course they're going to feel betrayed.
Starting point is 00:18:00 Coach, I thought we were in this together. I thought we were all doing this. I thought the promise was, coach, if we tried our heart, artist, you'd help us win the championship. You'd help us win games till the very end. They're all going to feel betrayed. There's no. How does he go about making them not feel betrayed while betraying them? By not making his decision until after the playoffs. No, you can't do that. You can't because the two teams, you've got the chance with LSU and Florida moving off of the job you want. They can move off of you to another candidate.
Starting point is 00:18:38 But that's where you make a back channel arrangement. A whisper deal? I'm sure there are plenty of back channel whispering that was going on here. National Signing Day is today. The decision, your next job and how successful you're going to be in that upward mobility starts today. It's not in a month. I don't think the players there are accusing him, they are upset that he left and the timing of it. They're accusing him of lying about what took place in their final meeting.
Starting point is 00:19:05 I mean, there was mixed messaging even in those two. I couldn't really follow. Laine wanted to stay. This is a fact. You want to get into his intentions and not trust him. Lain wanted to stay. Now, was it for the kids? Was it for a CFP opportunity? Was it for the money? I don't know that. I'm sure all three of those things happened. But I also understand Ole Miss saying, get the hell out of here. Once he leaves, it feels like a lie. And all of it. Just him leaving is the lie. Regardless, Charlie Barron's here. He's a comedian, bestselling author, and Emmy winning journalist. He's bringing his Midwest Nice tour to South Florida this weekend. He is currently on the Lost and Found tour. So before I get to everything with him, let's bring him in as, you know, a Milwaukee guy. Janus unfollowing the Bucks on Instagram. Are you prepared?
Starting point is 00:19:55 Welcome to the show, Charlie. It's nice to see you. Are you prepared for Janus leaving you? And will Milwaukee be Midwest nice about this? Oh, you know, that was just an accident, honestly. You know, someone just accidentally went to all those channels and deleted that. I'm pretty sure. He's going to be there for a while.
Starting point is 00:20:16 Yeah, I'm confident in that. You guys mark my words right here. All right. So you're in full-fledged denial right now? You're still thinking, yeah, okay, good. Yep, I've just been stress eating casseroes ever since. But, you know, that's okay. That's how we handle things.
Starting point is 00:20:32 How is the tour going? Are you enjoying yourself? Do you enjoy the grind and travel of the tour? You know, yeah, I've been having fun with it. I like going to different places. I like getting to the airport early and just watching people run. That's my favorite thing. It's like the most therapeutic thing for me, just watching people run through the airport.
Starting point is 00:20:52 And there are some fast people out there. That's what you guys got to remember. This other time I saw this guy practicing his flute in this little cove while people were running past him. I wanted to take a video of it, but I didn't want to disturb the moment. It was beautiful. It's a good point, he brings up. Put it on the poll, please, Juja, at Lebitard Show. Do you enjoy watching people run through the airport in a total?
Starting point is 00:21:14 When you're there on time and you just know that they're not, that's great. Yeah. You've got to be there on time. Otherwise, it's chaotic. But if you're there on time, it's like sitting at the top of a skyscraper and watching rush hour traffic. There's something peaceful about it. But if you're late, it's a whole different story. And you just resent everybody looking at you as you're racing to get to your airport.
Starting point is 00:21:35 When is the last time you ran through, have you sprinted through the airport with a bag recently? Two days ago, yeah. I mean, it's terrible. I resented everybody looking at me. But when I'm not doing it, I'm just enjoying the moment. And that's why you should get to the airport early, guys. Thank you. Put it on the poll at Lebitard show.
Starting point is 00:21:53 Is that why you should get to the airport early, guys? I had not realized until reading about you that you were one of 12 children. That sounds like total chaos. Oh, yeah. Yep. No, I grew up mass produced, and it was a lot of fun, to be honest with you. I mean, the nice thing about when you got that many kids is like you always have someone on your side. You always have allies and enemies, you know, and it changes by the day. But you always have someone to go into a fight with you. What number were you?
Starting point is 00:22:26 Second oldest. So two of 12, one of six. That's a good spot. That's a good spot. You don't want to be like fourth. You don't want to be fourth because then you got middle child syndrome. You don't want to be first because that's like that's the guy who gets all the heat. You know, second, you can kind of slip right under the way. They don't even know you're alive, to be honest with you. And my brother, he got left at his own baptism.
Starting point is 00:22:50 He's number three. So it's not at that point. But. Okay, so your second oldest. So like you were there for most of your siblings arriving. Did it ever get to a point where your parents told you, hey, you know, pregnant again? you're like, oh, enough of this shit. Oh, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:23:06 No, we would do it prayer time every night. You know, we would say, this is how my mom would announce it. She'd go, God bless Andy, Charlie, Billy, Betsy, Maggie, Addy, Mary Kate John, and, and when my mom said, and me and my siblings were just looking at each other, like, how are they still doing it? You know, where are they finding the time? Is this way we're in CCD, you know? But, yeah, you know, it got to a point, but it's all fun.
Starting point is 00:23:33 now because now the kids are having kids and Christmas is super fun because you got all these kids around and they they'll distract you from your problems real quick you know because they'll they'll just run into a room and just headbut you right in the pecker and then you can't think about your own issues you know how does this end up working explain to us what is the unknown chaos involved with growing up in a house you say it was fun with 12 kids yeah it's fun I mean Well, there's, first of all, you got your own, like, we had like two basketball teams at any given time, you know what I mean? With subs, we had like a full offensive part of a football. I mean, we could play any sport, you know, and my dad at his own construction crew, you know.
Starting point is 00:24:20 So we always had work to do. We had sports to play. We had bikes to ride. I mean, and sometimes, you know, someone will bring a bike inside, try to go down. the stairs and then you have entertainment so it's like an all in one thing but your family your family must never have been invited to like other family's houses because oh you know we're inviting the barons you know they got 12 kids yeah that's a good call because uh as soon as we get there we create a whole other party i mean you got to think to a different financial level of food that
Starting point is 00:24:53 you got to provide so you know we were just non-eaters is kind of how that went you know it's like you don't need to feed them they've been fed you know it's it's like when you bring your cattle over to you know the vets uh farm and you're like don't worry they just got that that's a terrible analogy but it just kind of came out so it doesn't even make sense but that's why i got my friends to the farmer he's like the hell was that cattle analogy i don't know i was riffing but anyways we've been fed is what i'm trying to tell you where uh do you go in america where you feel most like you fit in and least like you fit in as you tour. And have you done much in South Florida? So yeah, I mean, speaking of where you least fit in, you guys, Miami Beach, holy smoke, that is way different
Starting point is 00:25:42 than South Beach of Lake Michigan. I'll tell you that much. Yeah, you guys do it fun down there. It's great. But yeah, it's a different world, although people are very nice, actually. I've noticed that. So I do like that about that area of the country year. But I think most fit. What's that? He said kick save and a beauty that you said the people were nice. All of us looked a little confused. I was actually upset.
Starting point is 00:26:08 We're not nice to him. Right before you come down here, you just sort of, you were riffing again, and I thought you were going to make another cattle reference. I hate that people were nice to you. There was someone that was nice to me, but now that I'm, now that you guys are acting like that, I'm starting to think that maybe they weren't nice. They told me I had nice driving. And so maybe they said like, nice driving.
Starting point is 00:26:30 And I didn't hear, you know, I don't know if I can say what I. Asshole at the end. Okay, you can say asshole. Yeah, nice driving ass. I wasn't sure. I didn't know the rules. I didn't know if this was on the air. You can say ass, but once you had the hole, it's a whole different story.
Starting point is 00:26:45 It is. Anyways, yeah. And there is a lot more, you know, plastic surgery down in that neck of the woods. And we don't have much of that. up in Wisconsin because like you know when you live somewhere beautiful you're like I want to live forever you know here we don't get plastic surgery because it's like you know honestly I want to be dead before February but um it's a different kind of different kind of thing you know but um you don't fit in down here correct you don't fit in is the answer to my question or it didn't sound like a
Starting point is 00:27:16 question it just sounded like a statement uh so i'm now hip to how you guys speak and uh yeah i've recanted my earlier phrase, so I don't even know if that word works, but we'll roll with it, you know? This time of year, it's a lot. Lights, noise, pumpkin spice, it's everywhere. But one feeling that we are all still chasing
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Starting point is 00:30:12 Fox 1, we live for live, streaming now. Don Lebertard. What is the worst? part of the life? Stugats. The worst part of the life of what? This is the Dan Lebatar show with the Stugats. His new special Neighborly is out now. What are you proud of or what do you like? How would you sell that to our audience as something they need to be watching?
Starting point is 00:30:49 Well, it's a lot better than my driving. It is. And neighborly, it's all about, we talk about, you know, being from a big family. I go gambling with my grandma. We got stories about that. And, you know, it's about life through a Midwest guy's perspective. So I think anyone can relate to it. There is a little cassero talk in there. I know that'll sell them hard down in the neck of the woods. But, you know, I think you enjoy it. We riff on the whole technology situation with, you know, so if you're in, you know, have some thoughts on the, on the whole AI part of the world. We got a little bit on that. So there's a little bit of something for everyone in there. Well, go ahead and tell us about gambling with your grandmother. Oh, it's fantastic, you guys. I mean, if you've ever been, first of all, I take my grandma and her gals down to the casino.
Starting point is 00:31:43 And the thing about gambling with those, each one of them has an entire pharmacy in their purse. all right so i mean you're ready to have some fun and you got to be careful driving because if you get pulled over you got more drugs in that rev four than a motley crew tour bus but when you get them there safely and then you get to collect you know a little pill tax and i don't know if you guys have popped to thursday but if you pop grandma's thursday you're going to get thin blood and minor hallucinations it's great just just be careful okay don't go pop and grandpa's friday because then you might be walk around the casino with a full deck and that's not that's not preferred but um anyways yeah no it's fun but gambling with your grandma i mean it's hard to find them you know if you tried
Starting point is 00:32:30 find a senior citizen casino good luck i mean they hide in the lights and um they only find it find you if they want to be found so uh no but we go on on a pretty regular basis uh she calls me up and you know we got to go to the casino on the way back we take our winnings and we put it in the powerball. So it's part of a larger investment portfolio that we have here. Do you believe your grandma has a gambling problem? Well, she doesn't say it's a problem at all because she's she's using other people's money. Oh, you know, and if you're investing other people's money, it's not a problem. Like I said, it's part of an overall investment strategy. Unfortunately, the other person's money is mine. And so I really need people to
Starting point is 00:33:17 to buy tickets when I come into town, you guys. I am in financial ruin, but I would appreciate that. You can get tour dates and tickets by going to Charlie Barrens.com, and I did mention, but I didn't say where, right? Parker Playhouse in Fort Lauderdale tomorrow night and Tampa Theater December 5th. The special is Neighborly. It is out now, and the YouTube channel is at Charlie Barron's. I'd like for you to rank for me these If you don't mind from the Midwest, however it is that you think the nastiest of the exclamations is versus the least nasty. So we will start with the nastiest, and I'll just give you seven of them.
Starting point is 00:34:01 Are you ready? I'm ready. For crying out loud, holy smokes. I don't know if you have a pen there or a hotel pen because I'm going to give you a bunch of these. I'm going to put you to work here. Yes. For crying out loud, holy smokes, hold your horses.
Starting point is 00:34:15 Heavens to Betsy. Okay, like, how is he supposed to write it down? Them down and then you go even fast. Which is crazy. I'm at Heavens to Betsy. He's a comedian. He's professionally fast. Clearly typing. Oh, my word, for Pete's sake or for Heaven's sake.
Starting point is 00:34:33 You can rank these however you want. I'll give them to you again in a different order this time. Just to confuse you more. Yes, for Heaven's sake, for Pete's sake, oh my word, heavens to Betsy, hold your horses. Holy smokes, for crying out loud. Okay, fantastic. All right, so I'm going to, most of these, if they're said with anger, they're coming from the Midwest dad, his point of view.
Starting point is 00:34:58 So, you know, you got to kind of get in that phrase. So let me just try a couple of these on for size. For crying out loud. Get your ass down. Okay, I feel like I got it. I got the tenor. Okay. So we're going with, do we start?
Starting point is 00:35:12 Is one like the most pissed off? Actually, we'll give you fanfare so that we can. get to the most pissed off. And thank you for playing along. So start with the least. This is the least angry a Midwest person is if they exclaim this at you. Okay. It's going, all my word.
Starting point is 00:35:29 Gee. Did I win? Well, that's, you weren't. We're going to lay out the fanfare. Just get your list. Okay. No, I like that, though. All my word.
Starting point is 00:35:41 Okay. Heavens to Batsy. Holds, okay, this one gets tough. This one gets tough. For heaven's sakes, for Pete's sakes, hold your horses. Holy smokes! Holy smokes should have been lower. I screwed the pooch on that one.
Starting point is 00:36:00 Don't worry about it. And then for crying out loud. But for crying out loud, that's a lead-up. That's an introductory clause. And you're about to, that's like a one-two punch. You know, that's the jab before the cross, all right? Yeah, they go together. You got to put it.
Starting point is 00:36:18 Yeah, you're right. Yeah, but I think that's where I would do it. That's where I would do it. Congratulations. It's a hell of a list. I thank you for playing along because I made that more difficult than it had to be. I can be awkward that way. No, that's okay.
Starting point is 00:36:32 I think I made it more difficult, too. And in that way, we relate and connect. And, you know, it's good we could connect over something here. And I'm sorry I got the niceness wrong. on it, but we figured it out. See, I just made that awkward, too. Look, in action. Everybody likes you, don't they? Well, I don't know. You're talking like my therapist right now. What's the next thing? But I think likeability is a part of your comedic charm, right? There is a skill involved to being a stand-up comedian that people root for that people just simply like,
Starting point is 00:37:09 and so you've gotten very good at it. Yeah, no, I do appreciate that. Yeah, I think I think I hope people like me. You know, I need that in my life, actually. That's part of being a people pleaser. We could talk all about that, too. Actually, that's part of the bit. I won't go into it now. We'll get people be surprised.
Starting point is 00:37:25 But yeah, yeah, I need people to like me. I love that. What's the toughest part of the life? Needing everyone to like you. Yeah, that's terrible, you guys. You walk around, you're like, who even am I? I don't know. Can I hold this door open for you?
Starting point is 00:37:39 I know you're 50 feet away, but that's okay. I know you don't even want me to hold this. door for you, but I'm going to keep holding it for you. Aside for that, to travel, yeah. What are the greatest perils involved with needing to be a people pleaser? Oh,
Starting point is 00:37:55 my gosh. Yeah, you kind of just find yourself doing very odd things. You know, you're like, oh, no, I'm not allergic to that. I got an epi pen in my bag. I mean, I'm going to the hospital four different times, you guys, because I just couldn't pass up the peanuts, you know? But
Starting point is 00:38:11 it turns out they had trail mix. too. But I didn't want him to feel like they weren't good peanuts, you know? And that's a word you really got to enunciate properly. Okay. It is. Yeah. Otherwise, you find yourself in a much weirder people pleasing situation. And yeah. So you're bad at no. Are you bad? Do you find you have some difficulty with just saying to people no? Can't say no. No. I know. Just saying it there. I mean, it gave me a pant. I got to say, if anything, yeah, I know. So, like, there's a little, like, I might still do it, you know?
Starting point is 00:38:52 Like, I'd be like, yeah, no, no, yeah, no. You kind of just riff it until you see their eyes light up, and you're like, I'm going to go with that answer. He clearly can't with all the follow-up stands as. Charlie, you might as well just cry for us because he's not going to stop until you start crying. What are you talking about? I love it.
Starting point is 00:39:09 I mean, first of all, he doesn't know a guy from the Midwest. We haven't cried since the 80s when we were babies, man. Okay, we don't know what emotion is. We just shove it deep, deep down inside. And then we go bowling. That's what we're going. Charlie Barrens.com is where you go for tour dates and tickets. The Lost and Found tour, you can see it live.
Starting point is 00:39:30 Again, his YouTube channel at Charlie Barron's. Appreciate the time, Charlie. Thank you for stopping in. Unfortunate that I was not able to make you cry for the first time since the 80s. I appreciate your repressions, though. Thank you. I appreciate you, appreciating that. And you guys watch for deer, all right? They top on nowhere. Are you going to leave now and continue to regret that cattle reference? Yeah, I'm still regretting it. Thanks for bringing it back up. But I like that we're lingering.
Starting point is 00:40:00 I'm comfortable here, too. This is the Long Midwest Goodbye. So I'm about to go get you a cassero, another cassero reference. I do have a quarter of cow in my fridge, so I'd be happy to say. I got some backstraps from a deer I got. But anyways, yeah, I'm lingering a little too long. I can feel it. I see your hands on your cheeks. No, he said, you sold it. You sold it there.
Starting point is 00:40:24 He's going to see your show. He just whispered me while you were talking. I've never related to someone more in my life. Oh, the people please and Charlie. I'll be there. I can't wait to see you tomorrow. And where are you from? I live five minutes from where you're going to be performing a performance.
Starting point is 00:40:38 Parker Playhouse. See, it's too close within the people pleasing distance. You're like, well, I might as well walk. That's exactly right. No, that's exactly right. I'm like, oh, I can ride my bike over there. That's perfect. Yeah. And you save the environment. Look at that. Another people pleasing thing. This guy gets it. This guy gets it. We got it, man. Yeah, we don't know who we are, but everyone else doesn't either. Yeah, that's right. People used to like me too until I joined this show. you know that's that i'm sorry i'm sorry to hear that but you got a great henley on you thank you very much i appreciate that one never liked yeah jeremy what you're talking about uh yeah the lingering continues uh thank you thank you charlie good see okay i see i'm picking up what you're putting down
Starting point is 00:41:22 we'll see you guys be good now nice driving nice driving nice driving nice driving nice good thank you thank you Say hello to the family. Get closer to the microphone there. Greg, I did want to ask you if you had any thoughts about the unceremonious in the middle of the night dispensing of Chris Paul that the Clippers did. Because I don't think this is the way that epic retirement tours are supposed to go at the end. You're with the Clippers. You've won four or five games this season. It's an old terrible team.
Starting point is 00:41:56 He was great last year. Chris Paul was not. good. He was great last year at an advanced age, and in the middle of the night, the Clippers just sent him home. There has to be more to that story. It's too terrible to imagine the mistreatment of an all-time great player, and something must have happened in the background that hasn't been reported yet. That's the only thing I can do. There are only two people in that sport that I can think of that have a really wonderful public image in terms of how they behave, but behind the scenes, people complain about some of their behavior. And it's Chris Paul
Starting point is 00:42:31 and Doc Rivers. Those are the two guys that have a very different public image than the one that some people have opinions about in private. I mean, they sent, he's on a retirement tour, all right? He announced that he's retiring a week ago, and they sent him home late at night while on an East Coast road trip. And they didn't waive him. They didn't trade him. They actually sent him home. So, I mean, I don't know if we'll ever find out, I hope that we do, but it's pretty obvious. They didn't just do it on a whim. Like, something happened. Maybe it's, hey, you know, there's a reason why we only have five wins this year, Tailu.
Starting point is 00:43:07 You suck as a coach. Or, once again, he doesn't get along with James Hardin. He didn't get along with them at the end of their Houston time. There's something. Time to throw away all journalistic credibility and get reckless. Here is something we like to call reckless speculation. You're good. It's very obvious that something happened.
Starting point is 00:43:26 He's not just some innocent dude who's sitting around. Hey, Chris, we're sending you home. What? But what does that even mean, though, sent him home? Like, they haven't cut him. This is he new and an improved down levatar show with the Stugas. Gamble on by Dravkins. Now is a good time to remember where tequila's story truly began.
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